See, this is the reason why I don’t go swimming in public pools or hot tubs: you never know what’s in the water. Not only do you have to contend with urine and the occasional loose bowels in the pool – but that water you swallowed just might have Chris Brown’s whitehead in it.

Someone should gently take Rihanna aside and tell her that any man who can’t pop his own zits is one sorry n*gga. Does she wipe his azz for him too?

Damn you, Fresh!