Yesterday I read an insightful post on Black Voices forums by a member who highlights the characteristics of the type of boys that black women should avoid at all costs!
Just to be clear, I am not making a sweeping indictment of all black men. Just the ones who are disrespectful and shiftless who call themselves men but don’t have the common sense to pull their pants up in the presence of women and children.
If you want others outside of our community to respect our women, the respect begins at home.
Some women need to understand that it’s okay to be by yourself. If you bring ex-convicts and thugs around your children because you have no self respect or common sense to know better — this post is for you.
by thenewtrolone77 on October 27, 2008 07:16:28 PM
- This is a two-way street that both brothers and sisters have to walk. Sisters should heavily screen these guys they’re dealing with. Too many times black women want that gangsta thug because he’s edgy, presents that challenge, has that swag to them and has what is a false sense of stud confidence. You can’t tell who’s a killa off the top, but there are warning signs that flashes a red light sisters ignore.
How he deals with you – Is his tone of voice belligerent? Is he aggressive-does he talk tough, tries to grab you when you don’t want to be grabbed, raises his voice when you try and calm him down, displays a temper over trivial stuff? Does he try and intimidate you and make you fear him? Does he show jealousy when friends came around or a male friend at that? Does he try to control you-where you go, who you talk to, make you give him money, occupy most of your time? Is he abusive-calling you names, cussing you out over the phone or person over nothing, does he step in your face during an argument, does he get physically violent (that can mean breaking stuff or outright contact in any way)?
How does he relate to you sexually – does always come at you hard, constantly for sex, is he actually intimate? Or, is he overly romantic? Over sweet-talking you, over-complimenting you (as if he’s trying to manipulate you), telling you he loves you after an argument, using lines just to get what he wants, etc?
- Check out his “dawgs”, “boyz” and “homies”. Do they work? Where do they work? What do they do with their time? Where do they hang out? What type of company are they and keep? How does he relate to them, speak to them, what do they talk about? Do they smoke or drink?
His past relationships. Who are his exes? What type of women has he dealt with? Does he have children. Check out his “baby mammas.” Does he deal with his kids-does he verbally, emotionally and physically abuse his kids? If you can, talk with his “exes”. Listen to how they talk about him and say about him. How does he refer to them? How does he interact with them-just because the relationship is over doesn’t mean they’ve left planet earth? How does he treat them?
His habits. Does he work? How does he account for his time? Time will tell whether he is. How does he act in public? Does he challenge people who look at him the wrong way, is he quick to fight? Does he drive super-aggressively, running right lights, stop signs, unnecessary speeding-the kind that express no regard for human life?
Where does he go for recreation and fun? Does he drink hard shyt? Does he abuse some kind of drugs-puffing weed, smoking blow, same shyt?
How does he carry himself and dress (OK because someone wears flip-flop attire doesn’t make them a thug, but how does he wear his clothes? Does he look like he gives a damn about himself?).
And that’s just some of the signs a man can show, but the signs are there. A thug punk will give a sister all types of signs! Quit messing with these punks and having babies by them, once that happens, you’re forever connected to him forever.