The Tyra Banks Show featured bi-racial women who hate their other side. One bi-racial woman who looks black denies her black side.
Of course, Tyra rips into the woman for denying her black side. “I think something happened when you were young that is making you feel this way,” says Tyra.
But what about bi-racial women who deny their white side and claim to be black? Did something happen to them when they were young?
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this been going on since the late 1800’s sandra. it is called………
“passing”
you need to catch sarah jane and “imitation of life” the next time it comes on turner movie classics…..
Oh well, we don’t need them anyway.
Thats why I didnt get mad at Tiger Woods for saying he is not black but mixed, hell his momma is of asian decent, how are you gonna just totally wipe out one part of your background? But society has a double standard for situations like this, they wanna call you black when its appropriate, then get pissed about you not recognizing your “other” side when its appropriate.
kwall, I love that movie!
it’s wrong for them to deny either side, but society wants you to pick . you can’t get mad at them for picking a side when you’d rather put them in either the white or the black category.
@amulet….
“i killed my momma!!! MOMMA. oh god…”
But what about bi-racial women who deny their white side and claim to be black? Did something happen to them when they were young?
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I think so. Maybe the want to be rebellious because they don’t like the way their white family hate blacks so much so they decide to only claim their black side.
@Licia:
Thanks for breaking down my thoughts.
@Amulet:
So true, my other side constantly scolded me about my “large lips” and “black knees” as if it were something I could help and I hated them for it for the longest. Wasnt until I was good and grown with my own kids to realize that some people just dont know any better.
i usually don’t have a problem with viewing the boxes. but does tyra go over the “skin bleaching” episode with these ladies?
Kwall:
I didnt even watch it, will just be something else that I get upset about that I cant change.
Over Tyra and these race topics.Let the people deal with their own spew of hate.It’s disgust.
All this mixing of the races is doing something bigger than we can see only time will tell.
I can’t watch the video (here at work) but if you are referring to the woman in the still shot she actually looks more Asian to me.
Most of yall already know how I feel about identifying with your race. If my parents were two diff. races I would claim both, not just one over the other. Can’t wait to watch the clip….
@kwallace….imitation of life was a GOOD movie…VERY sad…
I know I have told this story on here before… But My daughter when she was 2 was in the gas station and noticed all of the different ice cream sandwiches… She held up the Chocolate one and announced as loud as she could, that this one was her daddy and her daddy was black… THen held up the vanilla one and said this is her mommy her mommy is white.. Then the neopolitan one and said that she… is an ice cream sandwich. Needless to say everyone burst out laughing. She is always afraid she will hurt my feelings when people around us ask her what she is. She will say she is black and white, but you cant see the white it is only on the inside…She is only 5 but already so aware…
@Amulet….you may be on to something. My bi-racial friend (white mother, black father) identifies more with her black side although she also claims her white side because she loves her mother to DEATH. But her mother’s father was very racist and never acknowledged her or her sister, he would only acknowledge his fully white grandchildren and my friend DESPISED him for that…he wouldn’t even speak to her. It wasn’t until recently when he was fatally diagnosed with cancer that he began to try to have a relationship with her but prior to that she wrote him a letter letting him know he’s hurt her all these years and he gave her NO response until right before his death. So things like this could possibly make a bi-racial person not want to claim a part of their race….(well he doesn’t think I’m white enough…so I’m black) and etc…
THIS IS ALL SILLYNESS
wtf - Sandra, you ‘re asking that question like white folks can’t shame their relatives and be disowned!
These people are so full of self-hate it’s ridiculous! I don’t know why Tyree (yess, I said it) showcases such bullschitt on her show, especially if she doesn’t have a Black scholar to help diffuse the situation. Schitt like this just adds to the monotony of race issue, as it is.
This has got to stop.
it really depends on what type of environment people are raised in…both sides of your family play a part as well..
hell damn near all of us are “mixed”…whenever i get in a cab being driven by an african they ask if i’m from ethiopia…people always ask me if i’m mixed w/ “indian” which is so overrated in the black community…
@terika83.. That is so sad that her grandfather could be so cruel. My daughter resulted in an opposite reaction, whereas my grandparents and stepfather once had a problem, once she was here she became their entire world and knocked quite a few walls down for them/us. To say she is the most loved grandchild/great grandchild is an extreme understatement…And as karma would have it… She was born on her great grandma’s b-day…
Life has a funny way of working out.
@ readtheblog: i agree…some people think they are well versed and have the ability to handle everything…she ain’t a damn scholar or counselor…
that’s why maury stick to the $hit he does best!
Houstar - who the hell is asking your daughter that schitt, and why do you let them? It’s good that she is aware but our daughter is too young to be entertaining such conversation. And you shouldn’t let people talk to your FIVE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER like that. She should be answering quesitons about her favorite color, or how many Barbies she has, or does she own a pair of Heelys, but not about her heritage - Geesh!
I feel you blogger.My mom gets that all the time even though in my bloodline does have Native ancestry.But she still black and she’ll let you know.
@HouStar….it really is sad…she would be over their house and he would act as if her and her sister weren’t even standing in the room….her father was NEVER allowed to come over. But I am glad that your daughter was embraced once she got here. You would think that once the lovely child has arrived, their feelings would change, but I guess the feelings he harbored were too strong.
Houstar that is the sweetest story. i think it’s wonderful that she understands ,she loves the both of you , and she’s not afraid to say it even at her age.
terika & amulet i know a few people who have been in those very same situations. they identify with one side because people on the other side didn’t accept them. that’s really sad.
@ReadTheBlog….LMAO at “heelys”…hate them darned things…once I saw a GROWN MAN…strolling his baby with some heelys on I was TOO through. LOL
Race is silly when you think about it.
I think God/Creator just did different races to see if we could look beyond our skin. Obviously, we can’t cause we only use about 13% of our brains anyway.
It like in the cartoons with the green people and the blue people. lol
Since you asked… It is her family. her black family that asks her that. It is not like it is a shameful secret. She is a smart intuitive girl. She asks questions she talks about it. It is not like it is a bad thing. She is proud of her heritage and will discuss it with anyone who will listen. No one gets to choose what they want to be.
I dont know who to respond to, you all have valid points. Kudos to everyone for sharing their stories, they are all touching. Especially the “indian” in you, LOL. So sick of that phrase.
@Amulet…actually since we all came from two people (adam and Eve)I believe between living in different climates, and albinos mating with other albinos….we got the diff. mix of races we have today. I would love to find out how we all branched out…
@terika83, I think it was when the Tower of Babel collapsed.
We were too strong when we all got along. It was too easy.
I think God, wants to see if we could ever get a long being different.
@Terika:
Exactly. We just evolved to adjust to climate changes (eg.) our tight curled hair protected our scalp from Africa’s beaming sun, I read a book about features of different nationality’s and why they occured. It made a lot of sense.
The race subject is starting to get so boring though.Not that it is important.But Tyra, the way she brings on her topics is like exploitation.Like she does it for the ratings and not for the heart and it rubs me the wrong way.I mean I like Tyra, but does she acknowledge that she is black?What is being black?It’s just a color that people use to define us.It’s all too weird like there is no right/wrong way.
And imagine if all black people had the same skin tone.
We wouldn’t have so many differences either, and we would be united.
It’s more interesting to make us different.
@ Keely, what book is that, if you can recall?
Similar people feel comfortable around each other. So they would go off to a land with each other.
So much for that best of both worlds BS. IR dating for the most part is basically black men who hate themselves
@Amulet…you are right, I know that is when we formed our diff. languages.
@Keely…exactly….just as animals evolve to adjust to their climates we have too…do you remember the name of that book? It sounds interesting.
Sharonda:
Its been quite a while but I am almost sure it was in a book titled “Woman’s Body” it was a nice reference book until someone stole it! It had a wealth of interesting factual information in it.
Finna go find me a white girl………
What up everybody……….
I agree with a lot of what you guys are saying. Race issues happen even when you aren’t mixed. I am so thankful in the way my parents raised us. We never discussed color. My sister is lighter than me by about 4 shades(her grandmother is mixed) and she would call me black. I would say you are black too. My parents would tell us we were both beautiful. I didn’t know what it actually meant to be black until 2nd grade when a white girl told me I was black and I finally talked to my dad about it. I do not mention race at all with my kids and my daughter just came home pissed that this new girl in her class told her she wasn’t hoos enough. My daughter politely responded I never been to the hood so why would I act that way. This little girl had to have experienced a lot she is one of 5 black kids inthe school and my kids make up two of them.
I don’t see anything wrong with identify more with one side. One of my best friends is half black half white but he consider himself black. He doesn’t hate his white side and doesn’t hate his white mother, but he still consider himself black. Now those chicks on the Tyra show have some issues cause they hate one side and that’s not cool.
I hate that we live in a nation that forces people to choose one race or the other when they are made up of both races. Some kids identify with the race of the parent who rasied, some identify with the race the most closely resemble. I don’t think they should hate the other part of who they are though.. That makes no sense at all.
I worry about my nieces and nephew, who are black and mexican. They live in Southern Californian and often find themselves at odds when the blacks and mexicans choose to get in those ingnorant fights they like to get in. What are my nieces and nephew supposed to do.. The whole thing is ridiculous.
@ Naima
ummmm….while that may be true for some IR dating for the most part is basically people doing what they want to do with THEIR lives. It has nothing to do with hate of any kind. Hell I love myself to the fullest. Which is one of the reasons I date who/whatever I want. Folks just need to learn to love themselves and not give a F**k abt what the next person says or thinks. To deny any part of you may be self hate, but dating someone of a different skin color (we’re ALL human, thus of one race)is nothing more than taking advantage of having options.
thanx keely…i might check that book out myself…
I think that racism and prejudice are idiocrasies that shows a person’s heart.
When I was younger, my parents talked to me about everything from race, sex, drugs, and that some grown folks act worse than kids. They didn’t ignore things, they made me aware. I appreciate it.
I can’t watch the video but why is Tyra still on the air? Is she sleeping with someone?
I never understood why all the black shows got the boot but ANTM stayed on. & if MTV plays a weekend of that trash one more time… aaaaggghhh!
Imitation of life is a classic… that damn daughter made me sooooo mad treating her mom that way. Didn’t she have the best funeral though.
Anyway some of these stories brought a tear to my eye. Judge Mathis is suppose to have a black woman on his show who says she isn’t black. Can’t wait to see that because Judge Mathis is good for checking people.
Racism will be here for a long time…it is apart of american history and really hasn’t chnaged that much. I have a venezulan cousin, puerta rican cousin and white cousins all with some black in them and I love them all. It’s cool to have all different ethinic backgrounds in your family it shows growth to me. My daughter who is black is in the 3rd grade is the only child in her 3rd grade class that takes honor classes and she told me that in her class they were talking about the new president and one student sad that he was afraid of Obama being president and then another white girl said Obama was going to kill all the white people and she hates that he is president. Being the little fiesty think my daughter is she said she raised her hand (mind you the teacher hasn’t said anything) and said God chose Barack Obama as our President and if you don’t like then you need to ask him why? But my momma told me you are never suppose to question what God does because he does it for a reason. She also told the other little girl she needed to stop exaggerating about Obama killing white people because he is half white himself. I was so prud of her for taking up for her race and for her herself. I proud myself in teaching my daughters to be proud of who they are and to respect all races. It doesn’t matter what you are but respect who you are.
Nice thread guys!
Seriously, I am so tired of Tyra with this same subject. But more importantly how come she never has proud and strong dark skinned women. She always has these dark skinned chicks who are insecure and wish they were light. Its so much bull, I am dark and absolutely love it, my complexion is what makes me so damn beautiful, my mother is light, my grandfather is half white(and could pass) and none of that matters. I adore my complexion and wish that the dark skinned positive ’story’ would be highlighted.
My sister has 2 half white children. Her 5 year old daughter knows that she is both black and white.
What I find interesting is that white people aren’t all hung up on identifying where you belong. That is something we have forced on our own culture. I refuse to limit my choices men or friendships because of someone else’s hang up and self loathing. I happen to like a variety of men regardless of race, color or creed, to choose from. AND I HAPPEN TO LOVE BEING BLACK!!!
This mentality is a thing of the past…
@48….i still want to beat sarah jane azz for treating her black maid mama like….well….like the dag on help!! i first saw that movie when i was like 5 and i STILL want to beat her up…..
What I find interesting is that white people aren’t all hung up on identifying where you belong. That is something we have forced on our own culture. I refuse to limit my choices men or friendships because of someone else’s hang up and self loathing. I happen to like a variety of men regardless of race, color or creed, to choose from. AND I HAPPEN TO LOVE BEING BLACK!!!
This mentality is a thing of the past…
^^^ i couldn’t agree more divine.
my family have always said that i would marry a white or hispanic man just because i am so open to dating outside of my race and because all my life i have never worried about the skin color of my friends . as long as people are good people why should it matter what race they are ?
@kwallace577, Sarah Jane didn’t know any better. lol
#48 said:
Judge Mathis is suppose to have a black woman on his show who says she isn’t black.
_______________________________________________________
I was going to say the same thing. She looked black to me. Oh and REAL TALK, me and one of my friends were talking about “Imitation of Life” JUST LAST NIGHT! Wow!
How can this topic be brought up, discussed, and analyzed by a woman who is NOT bi-racial? How is it in any way her concern? Sandra, how can you know aaaanything about what goes on in the mind of a bi-racial person? What gives you the right to even question that person’s racial identity choice? Sandra, really, instead of analyzing peoples’ motives for how THEY identify themselves, why don’t you explain what happened in YOUR past to make this such an important topic in your life? I think that would be way more interesting.
Because, right here, from where I’m sitting, it reads like you want everyone who is not bi-racial to call out and probably hate everyone who is bi-racial but does not identify as such. Why are you so preoccupied with this? No, really, do you think that once ppl start acknowleding both their sides that suddenly the fact that you are 100% black (really?) will make you the BOMB or something? I’m trying to understand, logically, why this is so very important to you. Why are you the leading the “Say it loud, I’m mixed and I’m proud” march? That’s like me crusading for Asian male rights. Makes no sense.
Sandra, darling, people really hate you.
Are you always misunderstood?
msluxlorraine Says:
Seriously, I am so tired of Tyra with this same subject. But more importantly how come she never has proud and strong dark skinned women. She always has these dark skinned chicks who are insecure and wish they were light.
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I totally agree. Tyra is full of ish and she comes across like “that is so horrible that this is happening to you” and completely ignores all of the strong women who aint hung up by color, and there are plenty. Tyra’s shows are fake to me. They are supposed to be caring, but really, at the end of the day she’s just saying, “Thank God that aint me.” The fat suit and everything. BOOOO Tyra.
Thank you Smokie and eventually someone who calls out Tyra for the fake ass that she is. She plays the ‘holier than thou…but I’m just tryin’ to help roll’ all the time, that is exactly why I dont watch her stupid talk show and dont get me started on ANTM (this is the last season that I watch!) So many people are not hung up at all on color and at the end of the day ‘the white man’ judges us as black and and not by shade. Except of course for those ‘good white people’ who judge us by our character. Bottom line, as usual Tyra has these topics and makes us all look worst. Its no wonder so many other races treat us as second class citizens, when they see crap like this it just emphasizes to them the insecurity that they instilled in us hundreds of years ago. If black people start acting like this crap doesnt bother us than the world could not use it as a weapon against us, but because people like Tyra keep rehashing the subject it makes us all look feeble and weak and like we are unable to get over something that happened to us eons ago. Tyra seriously needs to get over herself and her obvious hang up with skin color.
It’s not like biracial ppl don’t know who they are, but they make choices when they get older how they want to identify themselves. The problem starts when other ppl tell them how they should live their live instead of listen to how they feel. If a lot of them want to claim one side then so be it. Maybe we should go and beat up Boris Kodjoe Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz, Shemar Moore, Halle Berry..etc because they are biracial who call themselves “black”.
i just saw the judge mathis episode. i am not even dark skinned and i wanted to drop kick that broad for what she said . damn shame
Alrighty then. That whole show was stupid as hell. There is a differance between being biracial and identifying yourself as black because you look black and hating your white side and white people in general due to racist stereotypes like the tragic biracial black girl who spoke first. Then the chick who people thought was Mexican and the Asian chicks complaining about people assuming their ethnicity sounded equally crazy. How the hell are we supposed to know their ethnic origns? I don’t even try to guess. I just say asian and latino. Why would they be mad about that? Anyway, the show was stupid and I just wasted precious time watching that silly a$$ video.
I watched the whole video at work earlier. The first girl Jenna who looks black but is also white only identifies with her white side. I burst out laughing. I had to think if I were on that stage with my white looking self and said I identify with my black side(which I do). I do understand the reaction of the audience. Jenna has a Confederate Flag. What up with that? The mixed girls saying they are 100% black had me smh. Genes can skip a generation or two. Two dark ppl can have a light skin child and vice versa. Someone mentioned about blacks also being Indian. Unless you are from Africa I thought blacks had Indian blood, that is nothing new. The dark skin “slave black” woman had me laughing. PPl need to research their family tree. Our next president is realated to Our current Vice President. Where do we think the term “it’s a samll world” came from? We are all connected/related. I have four nieces that are also my husbands third cousins. Funny thing is they call him Uncle (insert his name) not Cousin. I was also laughing when Eunice the Korean woman was mad about being called Chinese only to find out the Chinese woman next to her gets mad when she gets mistaken for Korean. I am not a Trya fan but I will give her credit for her hustle. Someone said in another post that Bey needs to sit down for 10 yrs and have some babies. Tyra needs to do the same. Her shows are not informative but keeping the same ole stuff on the surface. We blacks discrimminate our own. People just assume I am white, they are somewhat right. I am black(what is black. The word doesn’t even need to be capalized unless it’s in the beginning of a sentence), Indian(lol) German, and Irish or Italin one of those. I forget. I may say that I am black but I am not biracial, (bi means two) so being society makes me pick for the sake of argument I will say “mixed”.
AND??? TYRA GOT ALOT OF NERVES…SHE HATE HER OWN HAIR, SHE WILL NEVER WEAR HER OWN HAIR, SHE JUST KEEP WEARING CAUCASIAN PEOPLE’S HAIR…WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT HER?
I CAN SEE PEOPLE WEARING WEAVES AND HAIR PIECES HERE AND THERE TO CHANGE UP THEIR LOOK, BUT TYRA IS ASHAMED OF HER HAIR, BYTCH PROBABLY BALD HEADED, YET SHE WANT TO GO OFF AND QUESTION SOMEBODY ELSE ABOUT BEING PROUD OF THEIR RACE OR BEING ASHAMED…BYTCH IS ASHAMED OF HER BLACK HAIR.
AND FOR THE RECORD, BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE WORSE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING PREJUDICE CAUSE WE ARE THE MOST PREJUDICE PEOPLE AMONG OUR OWN RACE. LIGHT SKIN DARK SKIN ISSUE REMAINS TILL THIS DATE IN 2008! ALOT OF BLACKS STILL THINK BEING LIGHTER IS BETTER; SOME WON’T OPENLY SAY IT, AND WILL DENY IT’S EXISTENCE AND PLAY STUPID WHEN ASKED ABOUT IT.
Tyra, Tyra….poor thang.
@ mimi08AND FOR THE RECORD, BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE WORSE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING PREJUDICE CAUSE WE ARE THE MOST PREJUDICE PEOPLE AMONG OUR OWN RACE. LIGHT SKIN DARK SKIN ISSUE REMAINS TILL THIS DATE IN 2008! ALOT OF BLACKS STILL THINK BEING LIGHTER IS BETTER; SOME WON’T OPENLY SAY IT, AND WILL DENY IT’S EXISTENCE AND PLAY STUPID WHEN ASKED ABOUT IT.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are our own worst enemy. I can identify with the girl who said she was 100% black (not to me by looking at her) but she did state what has happened to me over and over again. PPl do think that because you are light that you think you are cute and better than them. I have only been me and this is not a rude, arrogornat or otherwise statement from me but my experience. I was told that “I thought you would be “stuck up” or “think you were better than me”. I was judged by the color of my skin but knowing I am black and saying I am black, I am not “albio, high yellor(yes I meant to say “yellor”)percilan white like Nicole Kidman. My skin is pale white and for all the sistas with dark skin some of us light skin woman wish we were darker. My husband did or still has to explain my “being white” and them thinking he married a white woman. Yes my skin is white, when I tan to make ppl accept me more I only burn like a red headed step child. Only a man who is looking for a specific race in a mate is only going to seek out that race/skin color of a woman in his selection pool. A real man is not looking for a “trophy wife” but a mate a partner a wife. What I see that I don’t like is for a woman to judge me and think that I am stuck up without giving me the time of day. I later learned that same statement “once I got to know you I liked you”. How can my white looking skin and me telling them I am black makes me feel more self unassured than they are by looking at me as a stuck up person. I am prejudged before I even get to say one word. The color of ones skin should not have anything to do with the knowlege in their brain/mind. I have never tried to be either black or white but just be true to me. I am both and then some. Women try too hard to out do other women. Being I know this I don’t work for a woman or don’t have any co workers. I get tired of “drama”. Of course I love the SR fam. we are what we are. I am not afraid of competing, don’t get me wrong. I am too old for back stabbing. I can be the “girly girl” at work or play their game and dress in a pant suit(for a meeting) women are in a race with other women. I don’t care what one thinks, it is true , it is still a “white mans world” and even with a black President Elect going to Washington we who look black are black and claim to be black have a long way to go. Some of us can’t even get along with each other because of “jealousy, identity or I moved to the burbs and my kids go to private school and now I am being called an Uncle Tom by my own ppl”. Ppl of any color can’t even unite at a funeral. They want to know what was in “the will” for them. As I said in a different post. We are not owed anything but “death and taxes’. that is a true guarantee/promise.
To conclude my comment. black skin is beautiful and I can tan until the sun never goes down. my skin may be redneck tan for a day or a week but my skin will never be the beautiful dark color that I am seeking. Why is it easy to turn/bleach your skin light but hard to turn it black it ,your pigment will not allow it. Do so many ppl want to be light and their is a bleach cream/chemical peel but not one on the opposite spectrium of wanting to be dark. I know there is the sun, tanning beds, and things that make you orange. I want dark beautiful skin, not orange and skanky, ugly looking
I don’t know how, but I read your whole post, Anna. lol I understand. I can remember being a little girl and trying my best to darken up. Man, people just don’t know! But my mother knows… all the times I came home crying because my cousins treated me WRONG AS HELL or because of the kids at school talking about my color. No matter how much sun I got I couldn’t darken up like my cousins… and I thought that was just the end of the world.
BUT, that’s was a long time ago. I was a child during that very difficult time. I can’t imagine my color being an issue in my life at 36. I’m me! Why would anyone want to change their skin tone? I mean, that’s a part of YOUR stamp in the world. Dark sistas have their stamp, their thing, who THEY are physically. Same as light skinned women. Same as Caramel women. We have so many shades that wherever we fall in the spectrum is a beaaauutiful thing. And we were made to rock THAT shade. I don’t undertand a woman wanting to ever change the color that makes them ao unique and special.