FanMAIL: “This is what happens when you beat your girlfriend” Update

Sandra Rose September 21, 2009

Scroll down for update…

Loyal reader KaraZ wrote in about the events that led up to the brutal Damas family murders. In her email, she compares child killer Mesac Damas’ stormy relationship with his deceased wife Guerline to Chris Brown and Rihanna’s turbulent relationship.

Hello Sandra,

Can you please update the story about the Mesac murders. I just read the comments and your readers haven’t heard enough about the story and think this is a man who got fed up with life & not being able to provide for his family. This is NOT the case. This man was a classic abuser and decided to kill his family. I rarely agree with you on things, but when I read this story first over the weekend, I immediately thought of the Rihanna battering by Chris Brown story.

I kept thinking this is where their story would have ended up if they weren’t both famous. Look at the ages of Damas couple, they stated their relationship in their late teens/early twenties; same age as Rihanna & Chris. I remember how many of your readers gave him a pass because it was young love… see where young love got Guerline Damas? Please update your story.

Thanks
KaraZ

Update:

They caught the murdering dog in Haiti. Now it’s just a matter of how fast they can process the extradition papers and get him back here to fry.

toosexy

While I understand…YOU can not compare rhianna and chris to this situation.. To kill someone is another level of issues… While Chris and rhianna were wrong…This does not mean Chris would or is a killer or a murderer.. that is a very judgemental idea and its not fair.
Divinebrown

Hey…we are just looking at it from different angles. From my point of view, untreated stress can lead to a full fledged anger management issue. I’m totally inclined to believe this man had no coping ability. But, I need more detail…I’ll reserve my opinion until more details emerge.

clearly is black arse had something….who wakes up and decides to off their whole family? That mug was possessed…
Daisy

1. Only one reader mentioned him not being able to take care of his family theory

2. CHRIS BROWN HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS STORY?

3. WHO gave CB a pass as you like to say def. not the justice system or court of public opinion. He did the crime he is doing his time nothing else he can do at this point.

4. WHY DO WE WANT TO MAKE CB THE FACE OF DV when Chrianna WAS NOT A DV case?

5. Rihanna’s former manager is on record as saying SHE DOES NOT CONSIDER HERSELF a victim

6. Domestic violence was and is a REAL ISSUE BEFORE Chriannagate.

7. How many people who still want to BASH CB volunteer or donate money to their local shelter?

8. Will we still be talking about Chrianna gate when Jesus comes back

That is all
lovejoy1

OK too sexy- I agree whicha
mizzdallas

I agree with toosexy & daisy

This man murdered his five kids and girlfirend, a totally different situation then the CB…
toosexy

Also this man killed his children…. that is something totally different…you could have just offed your wife but to kill the kids that has nothing to do with Domestic violence or chris brown.. that is sick and he let those demons take control of him… Also there are some men who abuse their wives and it don’t leave to them murdering the wife and family it’s an indivisual thing.. I’m just saddened by this and I hope those kids are in the lord’s hand and that woman for noone had the right to take them away so soon. I am so sorry that happened to them.
http://myspace.com/thegameoncw Bird

4. WHY DO WE WANT TO MAKE CB THE FACE OF DV when Chrianna WAS NOT A DV case?
****************************

I agree with Karaz. I think it is very fortunate that Chris is a celeb and the public put the heat on him. He is forced to get treatment and I think he will be ok. Had he not had to face the music to this extent I have no doubt he would have been a lifelong abuser and potential killer. He didn’t slap her or even punch her once or twice. He beat the hell out of her, bit her, slammed her head into the window and the whole nine. He was on his way to being a killer if you ask me which of course you didn’t.
http://myspace.com/thegameoncw Bird

I was going to address Daisy’s statement #4, but decided not to and forgot to erase it. Suffice it to say I think folks might want to look up the definition of domestic violence.
KaraZ

I’m not saying Chris Brown is a murderer. I said it all starts with where Chris Brown and Rihanna did, a hair pull here and a slap there. You just have to thank God that there was intervention and it didn’t escalate further; because that’s where all domestic violence starts.

Nobody wakes up one day and show this level of violence to a loved one, it starts with the little taps & when those go ignored they take it up a notch & unless some intervention happens it will get to an uncontrollable level like this.
toosexy

@bird what is your feelings on rhianna.. because i totally believe that the girl was the aggressor not only this time but many of times.. I don’t think its right for either party to hit each other so what do you think the future would have brought to rhianna..?
Daisy

@Bird I said it before and I will say it again until Robyn Rihanna Fenty tells me that is what he did I aint buying it. Do I think he assualted her yes but I NEVER believed that bootleg affadaivt those are not her words and she did NOT sign that report.

Nobody is disagreeing with karaz that DV is a serious issue but you cant label every case to CB either that is not fair. EVERY CASE is different. I always felt this was a fight that had gone to far there were rumors out BEFORE Chrianna gate that Rihanna whom I love dearly was controlling and would hit on him (his bodyguard even said as much on twitter). This did NOT give CB the right to hit her that night in the car BUT it is different IMO than a man who has it in his heart to beat down a woman day in and day out just for breathing or cause they are having a bad day or the sky is blue. He admitted to hitting her he was WRONG he is doing his community service. I am glad he is getting help and going to break the cycle within his family and I wish him much luck with that.
toosexy

@karaz and bird..what about rhianna ? that’s my thing and i don’t like either that much like that but fair is fair..it has been stated numerous times about her being an abuser..are we aware that there are female abusers…
toosexy

daisy i agree i don’t think chris beat her like that she would have been way worse..she said she hit her head when he slammed the brakes….
Daisy

@Bird Judge Judy broke down why Chriannagate WAS NOT A DV case which I already knew that before she broke it down anyway but alot of ppl didnt and you are right they need to look it up themselves if they dont believe her or myself.
KaraZ

@Daisy, we can make Chris Brown the face of DV for now,until someone with more popularity batter his girlfriend/wife and it leaks to the public.
This is not to demonize Chris, in fact I think this is such an opportunity for him to say this is what domestic violence is, I’m getting help, if my experience in any ways mirrors yours, you should get help too. It is never okay or excusable, no mater who hit who first.

What is it about black people/immigrants and covering up domestic violence?
toosexy

Dang i just got to be real if you wanna be tough and keep hitting a man then one day you might have to take that fight for real..rhianna is not a domestic case.. any woman who really is in that situation WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THE THINGS SHE DID …THEY WOULD BE SCARED TO DEATH… both were wrong he shouldn’t have hit her and she shouldn’t have hit him..point blank…
Daisy

@too DV victims called into Tom Joyner one morning as well he had them on to give their .02 and they surprised him when they said her pic did NOT match the report they said they have seen way worse where less beating had taken place and Tom was very surprised but he couldnt argue with them cause they were real victims and they work with victims everyday. SOme of them said they still have scars and bruising from attacks. That was a good interview that morning.

I dont blame Rihanna for Chris’ actions he was WRONG he took repsonsbility and I hope she got any help she may have needed as well but I bet after this IF she was hitting on him as people around them have said she did in the past I bet she wont again in the future lol
toosexy

@karaz what is it with people ignoring the wrongs of females? and don’t be bias.. it’s a people issue not black and immigrant don’t begin to sound ignorant.
Daisy

Karaz there you go again with that BS again who the heck is covering up DV??? It has always been an issue and always been discussed. I believe we have DV mth and everything. My pastor (female) addresses it all the time even BEFORE the Chriannagate and Karaz severl high profile white men have attacked or beat their women and they were not made the face of DV and some of their victims were white and famous as well and these were GROWN AZZ men
KaraZ

@Daisy, how can Judge Judy… anyways. My point remains. All domestic violence starts at the same place, and it needs to be addressed. Women (who are 19 out of 20 times the victims) need to recognize it at first instance and run; because fine it doesn’t always end up in death, but don’t stick around long enough to find out if you will be the one that ends up dead. The community needs to stop adding to the victims stress, shame and anguish by apportioning blame to these women; in the times when all they need is a safe place & an alternative.
Daisy

I am still waiting to see who has or does vols. at a shelter or has given money to the issue of DV??
Daisy

@Karaz like I said I knew that it wasnt DV already because 1) they dont live together/arent married 2) she doesnt depend on him for income 3) they dont have any kids
toosexy

@daisy my point is lets not excuse her either yes chris brown should have choose a nother way,,,but we have to teach or girls don’t get to comfortable with the men are not suppose to hit woman so that means we (woman) can slap hit punch and do all these things and then be surprised when one day he just might go off… i teach my son and my girl..it aint’ right either way ….I was the same way… i talked with my fist and i came up out of that because why i think its ok to go crazy and then expect for someone to not hit back..we have issues to and we need to break that cycle we want to be equal ..then lets be equal..men are human too and it’s only so much they can take.. sometimes people snap and if you dishing it out you need to be ready… that’s my stance.
Divinebrown

I had to read up on this dude here. I think the comparison to Chris Brown is a bit of a stretch. A SUPER STRETCH…
toosexy

@karaz i think judge judy is a very credible source…after all she is a judge and respected on at that.
loveme77

so everytime someone beats or kill their wife .. we gonna go back to chris on this.. last time i checked he wasnt the first person that done this. and by the look of things he wont be the last..in otherwords..chis is paying for what HE did.. so this guy needs to pay for what he has done.. my prays goes out to the family
Daisy

I never blamed the vicitm in this case or Rihanna I even said I dont blame her for CBs actions that night but that doesnt mean I think she is 100% innocent either and in her case she didnt need a safe house to run to she has plenty of paper.

The victim in this case that was killed she more than likely had access to a safe house but didnt want to leave because she had 5 kids.
KaraZ

Daisy surely you realize that your church is not representative of the black or immigrant communities? Have you done any work with the victims of abuse in these communities to authoritatively say that I’m on some BS? Say what you want but statistics sometimes tell the truth, black people and immigrants under-report domestic violence and tend to not show up in court when the charges are pressed… I have my own opinion as to why that is; but it remains what it is.
Daisy

@too I agree as well I dont think its ok for women to attack and jump in their mans face and expect not to get hit that is why I said in a case like that its different vs a man beating a woman down just for GP, the sky is blue, he had a bad day, or to control the woman to me that is a true DV case not I am beating on my man cause I know he aint ever gonna hit me back and then one day he snaps and you want to cry victim umm no that is mutal combat lol
Daisy

Karaz I never said it did represent the community and I am not the one saying the issue is being ignored but I have donated money to a shelter before. The issues I get on my soapbox about I sure do vol. time and money.
toosexy

What is it about black people/immigrants and covering up domestic violence?

Have you thought maybe why many people are scared or don’t go until your in that situation you can’t say… statistics are always set up to make miniorities look bad….
Daisy

FYI I have never believed in stats they can and are distorted all the time. I dont need stats to tell me DV or any other issue such as AIDS or Education(just ex) are problems period.
http://myspace.com/dannyblaq dblaq

This imbred needs to be caught and executed or let the prison justice take care of him. ANY person that is able to hurt children doesn’t deserve to live. I don’t care what anybody says in the contrary. They have no compassion, they are no longer socially adaptable. The only thing for them is to take them out of their misery or send them to North Korea as US spies and let them get caught!
KaraZ

@Daisy, I worked with House of Ruth in Washington, DC all through my undergrad years, prior to that I volunteered from 10th grade – 12th grade at Casa Myrna Vasquez in Boston. I won’t lie,I first volunteered to bolster my profile on college applications. I still make a financial donation to both organizations every year in addition to sending supplies. But that has nothing to do with the discussion at hand.
iscream

You ought to bust mista head open and worry heaven later.
KaraZ

Daisy Says:
Karaz I never said it did represent the community and I am not the one saying the issue is being ignored but I have donated money to a shelter before. The issues I get on my soapbox about I sure do vol. time and money.

————————————————————–

I have no idea what you’re getting at but if you think I’m just running my mouth please see where I answered your question about volunteering time & money to women who have been in domestic violent situations. I still help pay rent for a Nigerian mother of 6 who was living in a Marietta YMCA after her husband held her hostage for years and battered her. But even if I didn’t do all that, domestic violence is still an issue I recognize as a serious one. I don’t need to fist have a Master’s or tax receipts of donations.
Daisy

LOL@Ice
ELove

AGREE w/ @dblaq !!!

I’ve had relatives and very close FEMALE friends who were victims of DV and CB-Rihanna isn’t NOWHERE NEAR the true standard of Domestic Violence — IMO

I mean these ladies were beaten UNCONSCIOUS on several occasions, Broken Arms and/or Legs, Busted Jaws and Black-n-Blue swollen-Shut eyes… Always being in a hospital getting their wounds taken care of BUT most importantly

NONE OF THESE FEMALES WERE THE AGGRESSIVE IN NATURE

I JUST DON’T SEE the similarities between CB-Rhi Rhi & DV
KaraZ

toosexy Says:
Have you thought maybe why many people are scared or don’t go until your in that situation you can’t say… statistics are always set up to make miniorities look bad….

————————————————————–

I’m not paranoid enough to believe that all statistics are set up to make all minorities look bad; but I think this paranoia is part of what causes us to keep mum and “protect” each other rather than report crimes.
KaraZ

@ELove, so did the intimate partners of said females just wake up one day and whoop their asses black & blue or were there signs of violence prior to the trips to the hospital?
iscream

Now yall are going to force me to go and look up DV. Because I don’t know what the measuring stick of an ass whooping is considered DV and what level is not.

I mean the girl face was bust open, the man got arrested and charged and a Restraining Order was issued for him to stay away from her

& if she did hit him and he never pressed charges or sort medical help or left her. is it worth talking about?
ELove

@KaraZ
THOSE males had serious-n-severe problems to begin with and ALOT of females get caught up with LOSERS like that… Their CON-ARTISTS to the extreme !!!

CB isn’t THAT TYPE and His Actions aren’t reflective of A PERSON that would eventually do WHAT THIS LOSER DID to his family or the MANY INCIDENTS I’ve seen occur regarding Domestic Violence (Real Talk)
LovelyLady

Im all for disucssing domestic viloence BUT what scares me is so many women over look what the woman does. As women we tend to think becuase society says a man SHOULD NOT hit a woman. Which i agree with BUT lets not forget women SHOULD NOT hit men. Its a 2 way street. Why strike a man knowing you’re no match for him. I say what CB did was wrong but if reported true, what Rhianna did was just as wrong only difference is she was no match for a man.

I feel really sorry for the females who stick up for the woman say so what he’s a man, he shouldn’t have hit her. Now come on, women aren’t stupid. We are teachign young girls that its ok to go around smacking and beating on men becuae they are not suppose to hit you back. lol. Yea ok, try that ish with the right one.

Noth parties should have had more self control ovver the situation. Instead of her stkiking him she shoould have just left his azz and he should have put her azz out on the side of the road. Everyone is differnet. You cant expect evryone to go around reactly the same. Some have more patience then others. A man shouldnt strike a woman and a woman shouldnt strike a man.

As my mother would say “you rise your hand to strike someone be prepared to be struck back”
KaraZ

@ELove, don’t know Chris Brown personally, so I don’t know what his type is. I do know he was raised around that type according to him, so maybe he’s quite the opposite or just the same.

Also I don’t think only men of a certain type batter. My father for has a Ph.D and made his money in oil, so he wasn’t necessarily a con-artist or what anyone would consider a loser, but that didn’t stop him from breaking my mom’s nose or leaving marks all over her. She left a country before the violence stopped.
My sister’s college boyfriend was playing basketball for a Division 1 college that was always going to the sweet 16 while he played, he was smart and from a “great” background too when he kept shoving her until her TV fell on her & caused a concussion.

All sort of people, with all sorts of personalities get caught up in this cycle of violence. There is no “type” per se, any man can be a batterer.
KaraZ

@Lovely Lady. Agreed. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves, these ain’t Bible days, most people won’t turn the other cheek; however since 19 times out of 20 it is a woman being battered, I see why conversations about DV steer around women as victims.
Now what if the woman was saying “something smart” & he hauls off and punches her in the jaw and literally shuts her up, is it then the woman’s fault for verbally provoking him?
LovelyLady

Now what if the woman was saying “something smart” & he hauls off and punches her in the jaw and literally shuts her up, is it then the woman’s fault for verbally provoking him?
———

No that is totally differnt.”sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”.

Now, if a woman reads a text from another female and starts slapping, kicking and punching a male, then what do people expect for the male to just walk away because hes “a man”. Now personally I would rather for the male to walk away and leave the crazy bish alone, BUT everyone doesnt have self control. My point is, I see it all the time. The male says or does something wrong and us females start goin at him slapping, hitting kicking shoving and then get scared when he raise his hands to hit her back.

Teaching men not to hit women is only solving HALF of the problem. Women should be taught not to hit men also.
http://myspace.com/dannyblaq dblaq

First off all if you are in a relationship and feel the need of beating your partner (woman or man). Your ass is in the wrong relationship period! unless thats what you like. However if you to people suppose to care for each other they would would not go to that extreme period unless your ass never had home training or you just a hood rat. Everybody argues but what makes people adults is that you can debate without having to act ignorant. Even if you disagree you agree to disagree. I am sorry if I have a chick that likes to argue, you leave it alone. Did that not long ago. Everything that feels good is not always good for you!
LovelyLady

@ dblaq “First off all if you are in a relationship and feel the need of beating your partner (woman or man). Your ass is in the wrong relationship period!
ELove

@KaraZ
SINCE WHEN did one’s role in society EXCLUDE HIM from being a LOSER… SO ALL LOSERS can’t possess a Degree in higher education OR make money in OIL OR play basketball for a successful college program ???

YOUR ACTIONS will dictate YOUR TRUE INTENTIONS !!!!!

BTW YOUR sister’s BF with the “great” background & smarts …
HIS ACTIONS proved otherwise and I STAND BY MY “Con-Artist comment… I’ve SEEN TOO MUCH of this in my lifetime to think differently
ELove

@dblaq … AGREE COMPLETELY (Been THERE, Done THAT…)
missy

I thought i was the only person that thought rihanna’s picture after she got allegedly “abused” didn’t look that bad.I mean you can’t compare a man who murdered innocent little children to one where two individuals who are really aggressive around each other.I don’t think that Chris Brown and Rihanna should be around each other but i don’t think that we should write chris off as a murder and he isn’t the first celeb. to beat up a woman (e.g Charlie sheen)and probably not going to be the last I think this man is a sadistic individual and Chris brown is just a immature little boy who needs to learn how to control his temper(and so does rihanna)
pointhimout

damn. u sexy killer u. mmm mmmm.
Daisy

@dblaq and I know thats real

@Elove You are right drs, lawyers, dentist etc can also be crazy as hell
ontaya brooks

iTS’ HOT IN HERE, I’LL POST MY COMMENT ON ANOTHER TOPIC, WHEW, YOU ALL ARE RIGHT.
http://notenoughrealmen.blogspot.com 2thick4u

What Chris did to Robyn’s face was a travesty but these two situations aren’t the same.

The first difference is she isn’t with him any longer and he ain’t stalking her. A true beater wouldn’t give a damn about d police. They are in control no matter what.

Not the same but both incidents should never happen
mjoylaw

This is wild!

So many people wanting to distinguish the two incidents so CB can continue to not be called an abuser.

So many people insisting on inserting facts to indicate that Robyn hit CB and was the aggressor.

Why is this? Why are we so intent on minimizing these situations? Why not maximize them? Is it because we do not want to have to feel sorry for the victim? Is it because believing the victim means we might have to actually do something about the situation??

I don’t get it. How can anyone say what happened between Robyn and Chris was not domestic violence?

How can anyone qualify whether an incident was domestic violence or not based on the extent of the injuries?

How can anyone say an incident is not domestic violence because the woman has her own money?

Does anyone really believe that a killer just had the idea the second before he did it?

Does anyone really not know that this kind of killing escalates over time from just a little push first, to eventual death??

The above is what is scary to me. How would you feel if it was your mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend etc in either situation?

Would you continue to parse hairs to say she was not a victim? And she deserved what happened or brought it on herself??
missy

i agree with you mjoylaw and dblaq
ELove

@mjoylaw
I TOLD my daughter’s BF (who is very serious about my Daughter) that if IN ANY WAY you feel the Urge and/or Need to touch OR restrain my daughter IN ANY FORM-or-FASHION …

TO RUN from her and find the nearest telephone AND CALL ME FIRST because I didn’t rear my daughter to disrespect A Man (Not Male…) in a way WHERE he has to worry about getting hit upside of the head OR getting all up in your face Yelling-n-Threatening you in a Fit-of-Rage because of some disagree OR possible a mis-understanding …

And IF SHE IN FACT DID THAT …

THEN I WILL handle Her AZZ for BOTH OF US (Real Talk)

AND for those worrying about CB’s supposed Origins of ABUSE… WHAT ABOUT Rhi-Rhi origins THAT INCLUDED Busting A Bottle UPSIDE HER BROTHER’S Head … PLEASE GIVE ME her diagnosis of HER escalating PATTERN-of-ABUSE towards HER FUTURE (I Thank You In Advance…)
intensemocha

HE’S REASONS WERE CONTROL

HE WANTED TO DECIDE THE ULTIMATE OUTCOME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP LIKE MOST MYSOGINISIT MEN

IF THEY CAN’T HAVE YOU NOBODY ELSE CAN

HE WAS A SELFISH, NARCISSISTIC, WEAK ARSE MAN-WHO LIKE MANY USE THERE PHYSICAL ADVANTAGE TO SUBDUE OR KILL ANYONE WHO DOESN’T COMPLY WITH THEIR DEMANDS

I DON’T GIVE A RATZ ARSE WHAT WAS ON THIS NICCA’S MIND-AND MOFOS NOT TO STOP SEEKING UNDERSTANDING AND MAKING EXCUSES FOR THE DEVIL

YOUR TIME WOULD BE SPENT BETTER FUNDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROGRAMS AND SHELTERS -OR PRAYING FOR THE VICTIMS FAMILY
intensemocha

Why is this? Why are we so intent on minimizing these situations? Why not maximize them? Is it because we do not want to have to feel sorry for the victim? Is it because believing the victim means we might have to actually do something about the situation??

——————————————————-

YEP-THAT’S EXACTLY WHY

BLACK FOLKS DO THIS A LOT SO WE ARE NOT HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE INHUMANE ACTS THAT TAKE PLACE MORESO IN OUR COMMUNITIES THAN ANY OTHER
KaraZ

ok pointhimout, you belong in the corner somewhere, salivating over a murderer like that, ought to be ashamed of yourself.
LovelyLady

Why is this? Why are we so intent on minimizing these situations? Why not maximize them? Is it because we do not want to have to feel sorry for the victim? Is it because believing the victim means we might have to actually do something about the situation??

A- Who is minimizing it? Did we say CB shouoldn’t have been accoutnable for his actions? Im not sure i read that we did, if you find it some where in this post plz let me know

Q-I don’t get it. How can anyone say what happened between Robyn and Chris was not domestic violence?

A- Hmmm because the police dropped thos charges and changed them too assault because it WAS NOT domestic violence.

Q- How can anyone qualify whether an incident was domestic violence or not based on the extent of the injuries?

Assault: is an act of violence towards a person from anyone, any ware, a stranger, friend, anyone. Domestic violence is on act of violence from a family member or anyone living at the same residence as you.

Q-How can anyone say an incident is not domestic violence because the woman has her own money?

A- Not sure about this one because you can be in a domestic violence relationship with money

Q-Does anyone really believe that a killer just had the idea the second before he did it?

A- No tin ALL cases but yes in some. Some people do go into rage and kill someone.

Q- Does anyone really not know that this kind of killing escalates over time from just a little push first, to eventual death??

A- This can be true to an extent. Just because someone pushes, yells or screams does NOT mena they will eventually kill.

Q- The above is what is scary to me. How would you feel if it was your mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend etc in either situation?

A- Really messed up and for the record MY sister WAS in that situation. She would smoke crack and leave home for weeks at a time not letting anyone know owhere she was leaving behind 5 kids. When she would return her boyfriend/babyfather would grill her azz about where she was. They would get into an argument and she would throw ish, kikc, punch and whatever and one day he struck her azz back. Did i feel for my sister YES. First she always had anger issues and second she was smoking drugs. I say she needed more help than her bayfather did. Do i claim that as domestic violence. NO. When the police were called by a neightbor you know what he did ,he didnt press charges on her because he loved her and knew she needed help.

Would you continue to parse hairs to say she was not a victim? And she deserved what happened or brought it on herself??

A- Me personally i dont think she deserved what she got BUT hitting someone numerous times over and over tends to have some sought of backlash.

These are MY opinions…
Anna

pointhimout Says:

damn. u sexy killer u. mmm mmmm.
~~~~~~
I read KaraZ’s comment and had to scroll back up. LOL. I hear he’s looking for his next victim(wife). You know where he went if you wish to join him. LOL. Something about a killer, murderer that automatically makes them ugly no matter what they look like. Keep her in the corner KaraZ.
I hope this man gets caught quickly. No need for AMW to get involved.
KaraZ

@Anna pointhimout is a man… but yes he still belongs in the corner, lusting over a (probably deranged) killer. And I agree all I see are stereotypical demon horns and ugliness when I hear the story and see the picture.
http://myspace.com/thegameoncw Bird

toosexy Says:

@bird what is your feelings on rhianna..
****************************************

I can definately see Rihanna having laid hands on him. My point is even if she did his response was overkill to the extreme.

I have done it myself. I was in an abusive relationship for 5 years. While my ex was the first to lay hands on me by slapping me for dating before we were officially a couple and giving me a black eye on another occasion, I did hit and kick him repeatedly when he stayed out all night and proceeded to go to sleep when I wanted to curse him out. He choked me to near unconciousness in response to my assualt. I have never laid hands on him or any other man since despite the fact that he continued to stay out all night throughout our relationship.

My hope is that now that Rihanna knows that she is no match for a man she will keep her hands to herself. While my ex never hit me again after the black eye he did continue to choke me throughout the rest of the relationship without provocation. I left out of fear that he would go too far and kill me one day. He never beat me to the extent that Chris beat Rihanna.

I’m sure she has a healthy respect for the strength of men if she didn’t have it before. If nothing else good came out of it, she learned that she can’t beat a man. Not even a skinny one.
http://myspace.com/thegameoncw Bird

loveme77 Says:

so everytime someone beats or kill their wife .. we gonna go back to chris on this..
*********************************

AMEN!!! I’m so tired of hearing about this that I could scream. The boy has taken a public beating, been shamed to no end, been charged and convicted and is getting the help he needs. I wish people would just let this story die for crying out loud.
Anna

@Anna pointhimout is a man
~~~~~~
I keep forgetting. Most comments you can tell the gender by the response.
~~~~~~
@Lovelylady, thanks for sharing. There is a difference between DV, Assult and Battered Spouse Syndrome.
Daisy

@Lovely THANK U THANK U AND THANK YOU DID THAT POW!!!!
toosexy

@bird that’s my point you can’t go around hitting on a man and then predict what will happen… I do not agree with chris in any way but we must be responsible enough to teach our girls that its not ok to hit a man and that he might snapp but WHY PUSH HIM TO THAT POINT. i have no doubt that chris is sorry for what he did and he has recieved his punishment but I will not let rhianna slide neither she should have been accountable for her actions also.. i don’t want to go misunderstood… because violence is not the answer but we women must understand how to pick our battles. she should have dumped him Its been said that she hit him in the head with her heel im sorry if thats the case then who you wouldn’t have snapped before they knew it..i have to be honest i would
LovelyLady

lol @ Daisy

I just get tired of domestic violence being evolved around CB and Rhi Rhi. This ish been here way longer than them two. People blowing it up like the boy could’ve killed her. Bet she would’ve have rather taken that azz whoppin then to be killed due to her hitting while he was driving.

People dont get confused casue i do not condone a man hitting a woman do to strength but at the same time women need to see that their actions are also wrong. Chris could’ve pleaded not guilty and had her get on the stand ad tell everything but he didnt. Which to me shows maturity. She has been thru enough as it is. From the public knowing about the incident, pictures (butta ball nekkid adn abused pic) being leaked not to mention the azz whoppin she recieved. Putting her on the stand would’ve done much more damage. He took the high road in my opinion instead of dragging her thru the dirt he fessed up to his wrong doing and paying the price. People getting on him but what about her. She can be a poster child for DV to, But nah she was rightback on the scene clubbing and shopping. Oh let me guess thats her way of cooping with the situation. NOT. She needs help just ass he needs help. And lets not forget SHE STATED SHE IS NOT A VICTIM. , I like that coffee icon lol.

Theres a difference between what went down with CB and Rhi.l People act like he was goin around beating her az for staying out, going clubs, dressing ect. Let the boy live he’s paying the price. This is between him and GOD.
https://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

They caught the murdering dog in Haiti. Now it’s just a matter of how fast they can process the extradition papers and get him back here to fry.
mjoylaw

Why is this? Why are we so intent on minimizing these situations? Why not maximize them? Is it because we do not want to have to feel sorry for the victim? Is it because believing the victim means we might have to actually do something about the situation??

A- Who is minimizing it? Did we say CB shouoldn’t have been accoutnable for his actions? Im not sure i read that we did, if you find it some where in this post plz let me know IT’S BEING MINIMIZED BY PEOPLE CONSTANTLY SAYING BECAUSE OF THIS JOT OR THAT TIDDLE OF THE FACTS HERE, IT WASN’T DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, IT’S SOMETHING LESSER THAN THAT. THAT CONSISTENT TYPE OF RESPONSE IS THE POINT OF MY WHOLE POST

Q-I don’t get it. How can anyone say what happened between Robyn and Chris was not domestic violence?

A- Hmmm because the police dropped thos charges and changed them too assault because it WAS NOT domestic violence. CRIMINAL CHARGES ARE NOT TITLED “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,” IT ISN’T IN THE NAME OF THE CHARGES, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THIS RESPONSE DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE

Q- How can anyone qualify whether an incident was domestic violence or not based on the extent of the injuries?

Assault: is an act of violence towards a person from anyone, any ware, a stranger, friend, anyone. Domestic violence is on act of violence from a family member or anyone living at the same residence as you. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAN ALSO APPLY TO THE INTIMATE PARTNER OF THE ACCUSED/VICTIM, THE BEHAVIOR IS NOT DECLASSIFIED AS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE TECHNICALLY, THE PEOPLE DO NOT LIVE TOGETHER. THAT IS NONSENSE

Q-How can anyone say an incident is not domestic violence because the woman has her own money?

A- Not sure about this one because you can be in a domestic violence relationship with money THANK YOU, AN EARLIER POSTER MADE THE POINT THAT THIS WAS NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE RIHANNA HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO GET AWAY FROM CHRIS UNLIKE THE POOR, POOR PENNILESS WOMEN THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (ONLY) HAPPENS TO. IF DV HAPPENS TO A WOMAN WITH MONEY/A JOB, THE ASSUMPTION SEEMS TO BE IT ISN’T DV BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT, DESERVED IT OR DID SOMETHING TO CAUSE IT

Q-Does anyone really believe that a killer just had the idea the second before he did it?

A- No tin ALL cases but yes in some. Some people do go into rage and kill someone. YES, BUT IN THIS CASE, WHICH THE SUBJECT AT HAND, THERE WAS AN ESTABLISHED PATTERN OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A PROGRESSIVE AILMENT THAT DOESN’T START WITH MURDER OF THE VICTIM, IT STARTS WITH LITTLE ACTS AND CAN ESCALATE OVER TIME TO MURDER IF IT ISN’T STOPPED

Q- Does anyone really not know that this kind of killing escalates over time from just a little push first, to eventual death??

A- This can be true to an extent. Just because someone pushes, yells or screams does NOT mena they will eventually kill. THAT ISN’T WHAT WE’RE SAYING. WE ARE SAYING IF SOMEONE ENGAGES IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, IT IS QUITE POSSIBLE THAT IF THE PATTERN ISN’T STOPPED, IT COULD ONE DAY LEAD TO THE VICTIM’S MURDER. WE SHOULDN’T TAKE CHANCES WITH THAT POSSIBILITY, ALL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND NEEDS TO END. IT CAN ONLY END WHEN PEOPLE ADMIT THAT IT IS HAPPENING AND TAKES STEPS TO STOP IT, NOT BLAME THE VICTIM, MINIMIZE THE SITUATION AND PARSE HAIRS OVER TECHNICALITIES

Q- The above is what is scary to me. How would you feel if it was your mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend etc in either situation?

A- Really messed up and for the record MY sister WAS in that situation. She would smoke crack and leave home for weeks at a time not letting anyone know owhere she was leaving behind 5 kids. When she would return her boyfriend/babyfather would grill her azz about where she was. They would get into an argument and she would throw ish, kikc, punch and whatever and one day he struck her azz back. Did i feel for my sister YES. First she always had anger issues and second she was smoking drugs. I say she needed more help than her bayfather did. Do i claim that as domestic violence. NO. When the police were called by a neightbor you know what he did ,he didnt press charges on her because he loved her and knew she needed help. YOU NEED HELP. THIS WAS A HORRID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION. YOU STILL DON’T REALIZE THAT? I GUESS BECAUSE YOUR SISTER WAS A CRACK ADDICT YOU THINK IT WAS OKAY SHE WAS HITTING AND BEING HIT AS WELL, IT WAS HER FAULT AND SHE DESERVED IT RATHER THAN FOR BOTH PARTIES TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND GET HELP. WE ARE NOT SAYING IT IS ALWAYS THE WOMEN WHO ARE VICTIMIZED, WE ARE SAYING WHOEVER IS BEING VICTIMIZED IT NEEDS TO STOP. THAT CAN’T HAPPEN IF WE ARE IN DENIAL THAT THERE IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURING

Would you continue to parse hairs to say she was not a victim? And she deserved what happened or brought it on herself??

A- Me personally i dont think she deserved what she got BUT hitting someone numerous times over and over tends to have some sought of backlash. NATIONWIDE, I WOULD OPINE THAT THE SITUATION YOU DESCRIBED IS UNUSUAL BECAUSE OF THE CRACK USAGE. MOST DV VICTIMS, I WOULD DARE TO SAY, ARE NOT CRACK ADDICTS. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS WRONG NO MATTER WHO IS BEING HIT OR WHO IS DOING THE HITTING, AND THERE IS NO LEVEL AT WHICH IT IS OKAY AND NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
mjoylaw

We need a national effort to educate the black community about what domestic violence actually is, in my opinion. What the Chrianna incident does is expose the level and depth of our IGNORANCE AND DENIAL on this issue. WE ARE IN DENIAL. There is NO excuse for partners touching or hitting each other in anger. NONE WHATSOEVER. There is NO excuse for any of the other manifestations of domestic violence, and there are many. NONE WHATSOEVER. There is no such thing as “they just got into a fight.” THAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON BOTH PARTS, IT IS ILLEGAL, IT IS POTENTIALLY LETHAL, AND IT NEEDS TO END. Our people need to understand that and adopt a ZERO TOLERANCE for this kind of behavior. Until we do that, many lives, psyches and careers will continue to be ruined by this unacceptable and inexcusable behavior…THERE IS NO LEVEL AT WHICH IT IS OKAY TO HIT OR BE HIT, AND NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
mjoylaw

If you saw family members “just getting into a fight,” I’m sorry, but you were exposed to domestic violence, and that should NOT have happened.

Now I’m done. Let the crucifixion begin.
Daisy

@MJ the law is the law it wasnt DV but it was a CRIME he is paying his debt to society that doesnt mean it takes anything away from the domestic violence issue NOBODY on here is saying DV is NOT a real issue PERIOD NOT just in the BLACK community. Some of yall are ASSuming and reading and adding to much into comments IMO.

Violence is NEVER the answer be it male or female.

I will never agree w/ making CB the face of DV and nothing will change that but it doesnt mean I dont take the issue of DV serious my sister has been a victim in the past.
LovelyLady

Q- The above is what is scary to me. How would you feel if it was your mother/daughter/sister/aunt/friend etc in either situation?

A- Really messed up and for the record MY sister WAS in that situation. She would smoke crack and leave home for weeks at a time not letting anyone know owhere she was leaving behind 5 kids. When she would return her boyfriend/babyfather would grill her azz about where she was. They would get into an argument and she would throw ish, kikc, punch and whatever and one day he struck her azz back. Did i feel for my sister YES. First she always had anger issues and second she was smoking drugs. I say she needed more help than her bayfather did. Do i claim that as domestic violence. NO. When the police were called by a neightbor you know what he did ,he didnt press charges on her because he loved her and knew she needed help. YOU NEED HELP. THIS WAS A HORRID DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION. YOU STILL DON’T REALIZE THAT? I GUESS BECAUSE YOUR SISTER WAS A CRACK ADDICT YOU THINK IT WAS OKAY SHE WAS HITTING AND BEING HIT AS WELL, IT WAS HER FAULT AND SHE DESERVED IT RATHER THAN FOR BOTH PARTIES TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND GET HELP. WE ARE NOT SAYING IT IS ALWAYS THE WOMEN WHO ARE VICTIMIZED, WE ARE SAYING WHOEVER IS BEING VICTIMIZED IT NEEDS TO STOP. THAT CAN’T HAPPEN IF WE ARE IN DENIAL THAT THERE IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURING
————–

Lets get something correct, if MY sister was being physically abused on a regular it IS domestic violence AND best beileve my family would’ve stopped that sh*t before it got that far. Now, I SAID she was constantly ounching, throwing thngs and kicking him and he was trying to walk away. He stopped tried restraining her by holding her and she would bite adn scatch. .Once she started punching hm in his face he slapped her back. That one. Do i think that was domestic violence hmmmm NO. If someone is beatign on you and you hit back to stop them, THATS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE????
LovelyLady

– Not sure about this one because you can be in a domestic violence relationship with money THANK YOU, AN EARLIER POSTER MADE THE POINT THAT THIS WAS NOT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BECAUSE RIHANNA HAS ENOUGH MONEY TO GET AWAY FROM CHRIS UNLIKE THE POOR, POOR PENNILESS WOMEN THAT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (ONLY) HAPPENS TO. IF DV HAPPENS TO A WOMAN WITH MONEY/A JOB, THE ASSUMPTION SEEMS TO BE IT ISN’T DV BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT, DESERVED IT OR DID SOMETHING TO CAUSE IT
———–

But its the law
LovelyLady

And I need help? lol. How??? Because I said it wasnt domesti violence. Well elt me rephrase, maybe it was domestic violence on HER part, but not his. And my sister being a drug addict has nother to do with why i said HE didnt committ dv. I love her no different.
LovelyLady

Not in ALL cases but yes in some. Some people do go into rage and kill someone. YES, BUT IN THIS CASE, WHICH THE SUBJECT AT HAND, THERE WAS AN ESTABLISHED PATTERN OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A PROGRESSIVE AILMENT THAT DOESN’T START WITH MURDER OF THE VICTIM, IT STARTS WITH LITTLE ACTS AND CAN ESCALATE OVER TIME TO MURDER IF IT ISN’T STOPPED
—————–

I thought we were talking about chris brown????
LovelyLady

So when ANY two people fight its considered domestic violence??? Yea ok
Anna

What about a “Crime of Passion”. They are not premeditated but yet can lead to abuse or death. Domestic Violence nor none of the things mentioned, some ppl stay for the finanical life style, some stay for the sex, some stay for the kids, some stay for the image that they think they have. There are no boundaires, barriers nor real reason to excuse what a person goes through. Some stay because of the shame or the fear of death. No one should be anyones door mat. I think it was Eloves comment about men being in respectable professions that also commit such crimes. Crimes are commited on educated sisters(of all colors) each and everyday. Sad to say I am with Elove. I have daughters and the young man better walk away and call me before putting his hands on my daughters. I have also told my sons gf to call me if it should happen and it better not. I hear Bill Cosby, “I brought you in this world and I will take you out”. I know that is not what Dr. Crosby was talking about then, but I have said those words to my kids a few times and I get his logic. LOL. If you are not going to love a ‘woman’s worth, or value a man’s worth” to me it’s time to move on. The problem to me is there are too many ppl hooking up, shacking and married too young. If you did not see daddy talking with mommy or grandma and grandpa loving towards each other, how the hell can you really have a respectful nonviolent relationship with anyone. Self esteem and self conrol may not be the same but they can sometimes equal a bad result. I said “sometimes ppl”, don’t beat up on me. LOL.