Is It Now OK to Turn a Ho Into a Housewife?

I found this interesting comment (among many) in an earlier post I wrote about black men who think LSLH/white women were a better catch. The responses in that post were mixed, with most women defending other sistas for raising today’s men to be the sorriest crop of brothas in history.

The old adage used to be, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. So the question for today is: is it now OK to turn a ho into a housewife since Kanye West, Lamar Odom and just about every rapper is doing it?

Loyal reader Nichelle Walker writes:

Most of them do these days –- look at Kanye with Amber. Men now [would] rather have a stripper than a hardworking woman. It has taken over even with Khloe: she has been with at least 5 men I know of This year alone yet she can still get married. Men don’t value themselves any longer. So I don’t agree. I believe black men have set their standards low, it was a point where a man wouldn’t dare try to turn a hoe-into-a housewife but now that’s what they want damn a good woman…

You know how I feel about this subject.

We have all seen the disaster that’s resulted from black women raising black men alone in the last 30 years.

The bottom line is: It takes a man to raise a man. A female is not a proper substitute for a man in a boy’s life. We need to do better.

If you’re a single woman raising black boys, it is imperative that you have a man in their lives. You don’t have to be sleeping with the guy — he could be their uncles or male family members or just a friend. But he has to be there regularly in your sons lives to teach them how to be men. That means showing an interest in what they do, calling often to check up on them, taking them to ball games every weekend, etc.

In case you missed it: A female is not a proper substitute for a man in a boy’s life. And ladies, it would help if you stop putting black men down in front of your sons.



 


63 Responses to “Is It Now OK to Turn a Ho Into a Housewife?”

  1. 1
    rhiannon says:

    ~~~And ladies, it would help if you stop putting black men down in front of your sons.~~~

    *******

    Agreed. My dad wasn’t there but my uncles and my great-grandfather was. I always thought the world of my dad regardless of the fact that he was a dead beat because my mom never spoke bad of him. At 28, though we still don’t have a great relationship, I was able to form a mature opinion of my own about him.

  2. 2
    Daisy says:

    Sandra I agree with one thing you said. I do not think its healthy for either PARENT to put down the other parent in front of the child/children. In the end kids will see for themselves sooner or later that the parent is a deadbeat be it mama or daddy.

    I do not like Ambers dress or shoes :coffee: That is all

  3. 3
    mizzdallas says:

    “And ladies, it would help if you stop putting black men down in front of your sons”

    My dad was never in my life but I never heard my mom speak one bad thing about him, at the tender age of 9yrs old I learn for myself that my dad would NOT be in my life , but I had my grandfather and my uncles to substitute that space in my life and I appreciate it soooo much.

  4. 4
    mizzdallas says:

    @daisy

    I hardly like anything amber wears :sipscoffe:

  5. 5
    KaraZ says:

    To answer your question, can you turn a ho into a housewife… you can sure as hell try but if she’s a ho from the core of her being she’s going to do ho type shyt.

    I agree, children do need both parents from conception to adulthood. We can go around in circles all we want but the fact remains that children who grow up in a stable 2 parent household will tend to achieve higher in life & continue the same tradition. So, women need to close their legs, get on some birth control and NOT get fertilized by the dude you’re talking to because he screws you good. Men need to close their legs, use condoms and stop sperminating every chick with a big booty who makes it clap on them. Stop fugging everyone dammit, respect your body and your future.

  6. 6
    iscream says:

    I don’t like her get up either Daisy. I love these non celeb post but must they always be geared putting black women in a negative light? There are other things to tackle; love, betrayal, family something!

    I see the point you’re trying to make and I’m glad you broke it down that it could be an uncle or some form of a positive male role model. Don’t know how you took what Nichelle said and pulled single mothers raising sons into it.

    What you failed to mention is little girls need their fathers/male role models just as much as little boys.

    As far as turning ho’s into HW to me celeb’s don’t count. Kanye is doing it to hide from the gay rumors and Lamar isn’t doing it for love either. To each its own..

    ITS FRIDAY!!!! Happy Friday SR Fam :cheer: I’m in a great mood and my s/o said something to keep a :) on my face till I see him later. I love being in love (sorry for the sappy talk I’m just floating right now)

  7. 7
    Daisy says:

    @Mizz me either but ppl think she is giving Rihanna comp. when it comes to fashion and I find that so funny. Every blue moon Amber has on something I like but overall I am not impressed with that she wears :shrugs:

    I wonder if succesful black men who were rasied by single mothers and give their mothers ALL the credit for their success would agree that a woman can’t raise a man :waiting:

    I def. agree with having a male around if at all possible but I don’t know if I can go as far to say a woman can’t raise a man per say. Maybe it depends on the woman or the child I can’t say yay or nay for sure.

  8. 8
    Daisy says:

    Aww Ice YOU GOT IT YOU GOT IT BAD (one of my FAV Usher songs) :love: Enjoy it girl!!!!!!!

  9. 9
    Anna says:

    @mizzdallas
    ~~~~~~~
    Did you see Wendy yesterday? There was a woman in the audience with a electric blue dress on and a Tiera and her light eye shadow.

  10. 10
    Peachizz says:

    I dont think it’s a LSLH issue with these two… I think she is exactly what he needs…

  11. 11
    attorneymom says:

    Sorry to change the subject but …. I really want to fight NeNe. For real. TEAM KANDI.

    Sidebar: V-103’s Mr. Sophia called NeNe a dude. Shim said that someone needs to get on a ladder and whip that azz. Now you know it is bad when a drag queen calls you are dude when you are a God-made woman.

  12. 12
    Daisy says:

    @peach why do u think she is what he needs? I doubt his mama would agree with that lol

    I like Kamber as far as chemistry goes but I thought his ex Alexis was way more classier. Somebody noted that kanye is always grabbing Ambers azz in public and tonguing her down sorta treating her like a whore. He never did that with his ex. she had to much self respect for that. Amber may be sweet as pie but she needs to start demanding more respect from him in public. If she likes it I love it though.

  13. 13
    Krysi J says:

    I agree about a woman can not replace the authority of a man in his son’s life….which is why I substitute my son’s father with his grandfathers (college educated, black business owners)…However, even though his daddy doesn’t take care of him like he should I still allow him to spend time with him when he asks (mostly), but he doesn’t ask very often…so I have back up plans. As far as another man who would happen to be in my life, mentoring him….I would never be comfortable with that. I know there are good dudes out there, who would be a good influence, but my son is never around anyone Im dating…except for my best friend who is now the father of my daughter, but he’s been around every since my son was born (we’ve been best friends every since we were 13..both now 28). So of course he has some influence in his life, but other than him, NEVER anyone else whose not family.

  14. 14
    LovelyLady says:

    I agree on most part that a woman can;t raise a man to be a man, BUT there are exceptions. I’ve seen boys become quite a man without the help of a father. Example my brother. We had NO father growing up, but guess what HE REFUSES TO HAVE HIS SON RAISED WITHOUT A FATHER. He can’t stand his babymother but will go to hell and back for her and his son because for the most part she is whose raising thier son. He’s not a criminal, has an eduation and a damn good man. Not only him but ive seen others do it as well. And like someone else said GIRLS need fathers TOO. TRust me. They tend to turn to men/sex when they are fatherless looking for that manly love they never got.

    My point is its all about who your raised by and how your raised……

  15. 15
    missy says:

    *off topic*
    @ attorney mom I am team NeNe I understood where she was coming from I mean it wasn’t about a song NeNe was mad because she thought that Kim was flaking on her and not being loyal to her because she thought that her and Kim were I guess kind of friends.And lisa told kandi not to get in the middle of it and I don’t know why she did and Nene was jealous so .

    However that whole pocketbook monologue when kandi did hers i thought it was real I think she should act instead of singing and Lisa did okay.

  16. 16
    Krysi J says:

    And yes I agree, Niccahs are turning ho’s into housewives…hell even the damn show “Housewives” have ex-stripper wives (NeNe)….or golddiggers (Sheree)….ex-golddiggers (sorry, Lisa)….hell if big poppa marry’s Kim (serial mistresses)…..

    My son’s father was my first (I’ve said this before)
    but I was 18 years old, and inexperienced….and overwelmed, so hey he couldn’t handle that at the time. His loss…..he needed someone who knew what they were doing, nevermind having a good woman, whose never been with anyone but him…I understand, thats why I left hiz azz alone (eventually) LMAO!…(first loves are hard…LOL, yall don’t judge me)

  17. 17
    Smokie says:

    I liked Amber a lot at first, but her tacky clothes are not the business. Although we KNOW she doesn’t, she often looks like a $7 store shopper.

    I think black CELEB men are just not starting to do what white celeb men have been doing for years: turning hoes into housewives (Pamela Anderson Lee, various Playboy bunnies, etc.) I think these black men are just doing it for the publicity though. They are mad addicted to the fame no matter how infamous it is. They’ll learn.

    Re: black women raising boys…. I can’t imagine, now that my son is 13 and smelling himself, not having a man in the house. If I weren’t married to a man who will ALWAYS be taller and probably stronger than my son, and if his dad didn’t also take an active role in his life, the kid would probably have to live with my brother sometimes.

    Unless you are very active in your community – and church – and have a healthy support system, a single woman will find it difficult to raise a boy(s) alone. You really do have to be a superwoman for it to work. And, frankly, I like to chill too much. I work hard. I need help in the HOME. A man is needed here to help my son put to good use all of his ENERGY. I don’t want to play ball. I don’t want to have to seek out males in the community to mentor my son. I want to be his mom and really that’s all. I prefer nurture and encourage.

  18. 18
    Smokie says:

    are just NOW starting to do…

  19. 19
    Krysi J says:

    My point is its all about who your raised by and how your raised……
    ——————————————————-

    this is very true as well…..shyt half of the people I know on this EARTH were raised by single mother, truth be told, and though there are some who did not turn out well, many of them are successful as well.

  20. 20
    KaraZ says:

    @Krysi… Kim is an ex-escort (the ex part is iffy these days) not just a mistress.

  21. 21
    KaraZ says:

    Smokie says:
    I think black CELEB men are just not starting to do what white celeb men have been doing for years: turning hoes into housewives (Pamela Anderson Lee, various Playboy bunnies, etc.)
    ————————————————————

    Welcome back Smokie! But you’re so right… white men have been marrying (& divorcing) hos for a long time. Rarely do good things come out of these unions except child support & alimony… so why won’t these same black men learn from someone else’s mistakes?

  22. 22
    LovelyLady says:

    Unless you are very active in your community – and church – and have a healthy support system, a single woman will find it difficult to raise a boy(s) alone. You really do have to be a superwoman for it to work
    ————-

    I agree because it seemed my mom was a Superwoman not to mention help from other family members being in church and keeping us invovled in the community. Every year we would do food drives for homeslees on thanksgiving and christmas and just ebing involved in postive things and doing things as a family. Discussing things around the dinner table, etc.

  23. 23
    LovelyLady says:

    Smokie and Kyrsi your sons will turn out to be great men.

  24. 24
    LovelyLady says:

    Daisy Says:

    @peach why do u think she is what he needs? I doubt his mama would agree with that lol

    I like Kamber as far as chemistry goes but I thought his ex Alexis was way more classier. Somebody noted that kanye is always grabbing Ambers azz in public and tonguing her down sorta treating her like a whore. He never did that with his ex. she had to much self respect for that. Amber may be sweet as pie but she needs to start demanding more respect from him in public. If she likes it I love it though
    ——–

    :clap: I so agree what…… REAL WOMAN would allow her man to grip her azz (not just no tap on the booty)for the world to see, not to mention walking around with a big azz bottle of hennesy. Amber is the total opposite of what he needs. Someone needs to page Alexis REALLY REALLY fast. Amber is making him worst….

  25. 25
    lexdiamonz says:

    face it most men love ho’s cuz their momma a ho, most single women have multiple “men” in and out of their lives they bond with the kid then they break up and move on to the next joe so the children in turn think this is normal hell most of them daddy or stepdaddy cheated …I agree somewhat with Sandra (shocker) you can teach a boy many of things but you damn well can’t teach him how to be a man … a single woman needs some strong brothers, deacons, pastors and resources to try to raise a strong black man period point blank hence the large number of effeminate black men, hell they been around their damn mommas and aunties too long. do you know how many guys cannot do simple “male” duties there is an entire generation of youth that have been failed by the previous one.

  26. 26
    missy says:

    @Krysi J i was thinking the same thing the real housewives(all versions)are ex-strippers,ex goldigger,ex porn star so it is possible to turn a hoe into a housewife however that doesn’t mean that they are a prime example of what a wife should be.

    And I believe that a lot of these women who are “hoes” grew up without a father figure in there lives so they turn to means of fulfilling it. And as for Kim she has 2 daughters and she wanna be a mistress she needs to stop before her daughters become the mistress or the wife whose husband has a mistress.

  27. 27
    Kim says:

    Sandra says:
    The responses in that post were mixed, with most women defending other sistas for raising today’s men to be the sorriest crop of brothas in history.The responses in that post were mixed, with most women defending other sistas for raising today’s men to be the sorriest crop of brothas in history.
    ************************************************************
    *SIGH* This sorry crop of brothas are grown, and quite capable of making their own decisions/choices. The responsibility for being a do-right GROWN man lies with that man. It’s the sorry man that blames his life/choices/problems on his mama, but does nothing to improve himself.

  28. 28
    iscream says:

    GOD HAS A WAY OF HUMBLING PEOPLE.
    That is all…

    Yall enjoy your weekend… I’ll catch ya on the flipside of this post. I refuse to let people’s judgement mess up my Friday :D

    Peace with two fingers.

  29. 29
    Krysi J says:

    Smokie and Kyrsi your sons will turn out to be great men.
    ——————————————————–

    Awwww, Lovely, thats so sweet, and I agree….my son will tell you himself “he’s already great!”…..yea I hold self esteem very high in my house, its not an option.

  30. 30
    starr says:

    I skim thru the post, but rather than saying a woman can’t raise a man….i think its harder for a woman to raise a man. I’m seeing it wit my aunts and cousins. These kids have a lack of respect for anyone now….and that wasn’t the case before their pops went off to the big house. I do notice the difference. I think it takes a very strong woman to raise a boy into a man.

    As for turning a hoe into a housewife…..well…its prob a topic of convo because of kamber…..but i don’t know if its now ok…but it seems to becoming a norm…outside the celeb world as well

  31. 31
    ELove says:

    Rearing Boys to Men is probably the hardest thing to do for A Woman by Herself… From my God-Sons to my nephews along with very close female friends whose sons I’ve taken a personal stake to helping — BOYS ARE ROUGH TO REAR in this day & age

    Rearing my daughter was a piece of cake IF you take away the various-n-constant distraction from the “So-called” mother and her side of the family… It just seems to me that Daddy’s Girls are the most well-adjusted & tend to be more ready for young adulthood and eventually parenthood — IMO

  32. 32
    Krysi J says:

    Kim is an ex-escort (the ex part is iffy these days) not just a mistress.
    ————————————————–

    oops, yea I need to make sure she gets all her credits due LMAO!

  33. 33
    Krysi J says:

    Smokie and Kyrsi your sons will turn out to be great men.
    ——————————————————–

    Aw, Lovely, thats so sweet, and I agree….my son will tell you himself “he’s already great!”…..yea I hold self esteem very high in my house, its not an option.

    my other comment is awaiting moderation…so im posting it again without all the W’s

  34. 34
    licia says:

    hows about we give a hand to those single mothers who do the best they can to raise their boys who turn out to be good men . not all boys raised by single mothers turn out bad. i can understand what sandra and alot of other posters are saying about boys having men in their life , but i just can’t sit here throw shade at good women who do the best they can with the cards that they are dealt .

  35. 35
    browni007 says:

    Rearing a young boy into a man is hard especially now with swaggers, swaggers and many distorted ideas of what a man is supposed to be.

  36. 36
    browni007 says:

    oops I meant saggers and swaggers.
    clapping at licia

  37. 37
    Krysi J says:

    :claps: well said Licia!………..And know people hear the phrase single mother and automatically look at a woman as this ghetto “baby mama” bullshyt society put in their heads….but regardless of what you assume about a person give them credit for even taking on the task. Hell would we still be baby mamas if we gave our children up for adoption? Hell I already told yall I got dropped off to my Grandmama house, feel me. So I could careless about judgement being made on me about being a single mother RAISING my kids. All women single with kids are not loose women or stupid women who have no self respect….I mean for real if ya never had sex without a condom raise your hand? If ya never had an abortion raise your hand? …..If you have done either of these things…what do you consider YOURSELF…lucky, someone with no kids….?? CLAIM all your sins…just as I claim mine and tell me what you come up with. Women are stronger than ever, and even though we get mistreated, and left for dead we still come up and do better than the men who didn’t stand up and play their parts, or divorced women they vowed to love until death….NOTHING should be able to bring us down or make us feel bad after weathering those storms. I stop giving a fukk about people and their opinions of single mothers when I realized neither of them contribute to the effort. fukk all dat….GOD and I will provide for my kids single, married, or widowed.

  38. 38
    Divinebrown says:

    Man…this topic again! This kills me because the presence of a man does not make a house a home. I grew up with 2 mu-fuggin parent and I tell you what…my father was cheatin with white women, getting caught and blacking my mother’s eye. He wasnt about ****! He also has 2 kids outside of marriage. And gave my mother a brain anerysm in the process. I love my father but I couldn’t stand his a$$ then. I had to parents but my mother did the best she could given her situation.

    I will tell you…men aint taught to be about sh!t anymore. Steve Harvey talks about it all the time (I love that show) I got tired of feelling like I wasn’t enough and I diversified my dating pool. Couldn’t be happier…

    I read somewhere that 70 percent of all professional african american women are single and 29% are raising kids in a single parent household. I love babies but FOR MY LIFESTYLE I would prefer to be married. However, I’m confident that I could raise a boy. And would would be thorough too.

  39. 39
    chocolatedrop says:

    AMEN TO EVERYTHING YOU SAID SANDRA!

  40. 40
    licia says:

    preach krysi and dvb.

  41. 41
    missy says:

    Heck at the end of the day if children are raised in a good environment then they will turn out good(some people are the exception)I have a dead beat cousin who doesn’t really raise his kids my female cousins take care of his kids more than him but the kids don’t seem like bad kids(they’re 3 and 1)and I believe that women are strong enough to raise both male and female because there are a lot of children in a two parent household who turn out bad so at the end of the day like someone mentioned it’s who raised you and how you were raised.

  42. 42
    Daisy says:

    @DB Did you hear Steve wed during radio date? The guy was 27 he said he had NEVER heard that when walking down the street/sidewalk etc that a MAN is supposed to be closet to the street and let the lady walk on the inside!! He was so serious Steve had to break it down to him. He also went on to say that he asked his date to PAY for his drink to test her to see if she was a real woman he said a real woman would have PAID for the drink and said something later SMH

  43. 43
    Divinebrown says:

    Yes Daisy….I did hear that. That lil dude seemed really immature but she was dogging him before, on and after their date. But, that is a prime example of what I’m talking about.

    I work with kids. (All of them under 18) And I see single mothers everyday, there are some mothers who are raising amazing young men. I can tell by their dynamics and how they engage each other that Momma aint taking mess from her son. (she doesnt have to keep talking to him, he comes when she says so and the list goes on) I love to see that. I’m sure there’s the presence of a father figure somewhere but the mother is the primary provider. I see BAD HEATHEN ARSE KIDS WITH 2 PARENTS, TOO. What is the excuse there?

  44. 44
    Krysi J says:

    What about the Preacher’s sons?

  45. 45
    Smokie says:

    Smokie and Kyrsi your sons will turn out to be great men.
    ——————————————————–
    I pray so!

    I love this board. It’s not quite like any other. :-)

  46. 46
    Daisy says:

    @Db they were dogging each other out lol I knew from last wk they would not hit it off

    I work with teens as well in my free time and I see males with 2 parents acting a FOOL just like ones from single parents home. It depends on the child and parent(s). I was raised in a 2 parent home BUT my MAMA laid the law down even with my brotha. She beat him down when she had to she went to school with him for TWO days in a row in middle school when he thought he was about to cut the fool. My daddy was abused as a child and NEVER beat/hit us so my mama was left to do all the “dirty work”. Out of all of us I had and still had and have the most mouth (shocker) lol she washed my mouth out with soap in front of the class in grade school but I always had to say my .02 right or wrong lol My daddy is FAB one of the best men I know but he did not do much when it came to raising us other than providing and that was def. important and a blessing so I said all that to say my brother would still be drug free, kid free, criminal record free even if it was just my mama thats who we feared not our daddy lol

    Happy B day daddy :cheer:

  47. 47
    intensemocha says:

    IT TAKES A PARENT TO KNOW HOW TO PARENT

    PARDON ME MY DEAR-BUT I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN

    I AGREE THAT A MALE CHILD NEEDS A POSITIVE MALE ROLE MODEL
    AND NOT ONCE HAVE I SEEN ANY BLACK WOMAN DENY THAT

    WHAT I’VE HEARD AND SEEN IS YOU CAN’T MAKE THEIR FATHER BE THAT POSITIVE MALE ROLE MODEL IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE

    AND DUH-SINGLE MOM’S DON’T LIVE IN A BUBBLE-THEY DO HAVE A FAMILY WITH BROTHERS, UNCLES, MALE COUSINS AND MALE FRIENDS

    YOUR ARGUMENT IS A MUTE POINT-YOU LIKE MANY OTHER AMERICANS ARE LOOKING FOR A SCAPEGOAT FOR CRIME, POVERTY,AIDS, AND EVEN TSUNAMI AND BLACK SINGLE MOTHERS JUST HAPPEN TO BE THE LEAST RESPECTED IN OUR SOCIETY AND VIEWED AS THE WEAKEST

    SO WHY NOT CONTINUE WITH THE CONSPIRACY OF WHITE AMERICA TO DISSEMINATE THE “BLACK FAMILY” BY LABELING BLACK WOMEN AND BLAMING THEM FOR ALL THE ILLS OF SOCIETY

    EVERYDAY-THE MEDIA IS CONSTANTLY FEEDING NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BLACK WOMEN AND HOW WE “ALLEGEDLY” LIVE OUR LIVES AND MAKE DECISIONS BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THIS…………

    AT LEAST WE ARE PRESENT IN OUR COMMUNITIES, AT LEAST WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO STILL RAISE OUR CHILDREN, WORK AND PROVIDE AND CARE FOR THEM

    SAD TO SAY YOU CAN’T SAY THE SAME FOR A LARGE (NOT MAJORITY0 BUT A VERY LARGE GROUP OF OUR BLACK MEN

    BUT AGAIN “YOU” DON’T MIND OUR HITS OR TRAFFIC TO YOUR BLOGS JUST LIKE AMERICA DOESN’T MIND MARKETING PRODUCTS SPECIFICALLY TARGETED TO AFRICAN AMERICAN WOMEN JUST TO GAIN REVENUE OF OUR HARD EARNED DOLLARS TO BOOST THIS ECONOMY

    SO YALL OKAY WITH US WHEN WE’RE SPENDING OUR MONEY, WORKING YOUR JOBS, AND PROVIDING CARE FOR YOUR SICK AND ELDERLY RELATIVES-

    BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN WE’RE INCAPABLE OF RAISING OUR CHILDREN

    YEAH WHATEVER GO FUG YOURSELVES!!!!!!

  48. 48
    missy says:

    @ Kyrysi my grandfather is a Deacon and my uncle is a hot mess and my auntie’s ,my father is the best one(no not really but he is the best out of all of them)My uncle had a sweetheart whiles he was married and kicked his wife out and my aunties is a hot mess though they welcomed the sweetheart and they is gossip about every and anyone (even the pries in our church they gossiped about him) just had to let that out.(and they grew up in a Christian household with 2 parents)My grandfather the deacon is the only one who shunned the sweetheart my grammy accepted her

    My mothers family have the biggest hypocrites because they have alot of family members up in the church and condemn everyone’s children but can’t stop to look at their own.

    Moral of my story my family is still jacked up and majority of us have two parent homes(had so much pent up aggression from this hypocrites)My life is a soap opera :(

  49. 49
    LovelyLady says:

    face it most men love ho’s cuz their momma a ho,
    _________________

    Excuse the hell out of me, but how can you say that. My moma was a single mom and yes she did date, but do you think every date came thru that door to meet us (her kids). Hell Nah. We very soldem seen ANY man she was DATING and they NEVER EVER spent the night. In order for them to even get that far trust me, my mom, her boyfirend/date and ALL her kids went to lucnh/dinner or something and did things as a family to see the interaction with the kids. So plz, not ALL single mothers are hoes. SMDH

  50. 50
    LovelyLady says:

    Thank You Intense very well said.

  51. 51
    intensemocha says:

    AND HOW THE HELL DID THE FOCUS TURN TO SINGLE MOMS-WHEN KHLOE DOESN’T HAVE ANY FUGGIN KIDS AND THIS NICCA KNOW HE HAS THREE CHILDREN AND “HE” CHOSE NOT TO MARRY THEIR MOTHER

    SO AGAIN-ANOTHER SCENARIO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SINGLE-MOMS BUT AGAIN WE’RE THE SCAPEGOAT FOR THIS NICCA MARRYING A HOE?

    GTFOH-SERIOUSLY

  52. 52
    miamore73 says:

    I actually agree with you Sandra. I think the issues that black people have today is because of the breakdown in our families. To many women not only raising they’re sons alone but they have to work full time also.

    What’s funny is that my whole family is all females and none of us had a father there for us (except my grandma). We weren’t blessed with a boy until my son was born and I’m the only one in my family that is married and have both children by the same man. I think that was God’s plan for my family.

    Coming from a single women household to now being a part of a two parent household I can really see the difference and the affects on my children.

  53. 53
    Krysi J says:

    ^^^^ yea he married Khloe over his highschool sweetheart, somebody he has known since age 17??!!!….He endured all those years with that woman, and the death of an infant….but it only took him 1 to 3 months to make up his mind about marrying Khloe, and yall mad at SINGLE MOTHERS?

  54. 54

    Oh snap I made it to the front page lol–I swear I had a dream that my comment would be a topic (although not this one)~~~

    I don’t know where the single mothers topic came from what I said. I was truly speaking about men not wanting a good women. And I still stick by it, I see countless number of everyday guys wifing up ho’s my cousin is in love with one. I swear he calls me like~~~I can’t function at work I think she got somebody at the house. And I’m like boy if you gotta be worried about who’s in your house while your at work then u need to put her azz to the left. But he stays because she is good at somehead I mean something. Hey I just feel when a man has a good thing at home he losing it for a ho.

    Now single mothers–I agree you need to have active role models in your kids life. However I feel Men need to step up because you have married two parent household and the kids are bad as hell. Because the dad is busy cheating and running the streets. Women don’t make babies on there own~so men need to be held accountable to not just the mothers. Men need to lead by example~they want to be the head of the household but most of them don’t know how to lead. It’s so much deeper than a title~it’s so much deeper than feeling like I wear the pants. Men need to understand that once they make a baby there life is not there own and yes if I spilt from mom (because shyt happens) I still have to man up. Even raise the kids himself if that’s what he needs to do.

    I agree that parents shouldn’t down talk each other~but it takes a team to raise a child that means mother, father, grandmother, granddad, aunts, uncle, cousins. We sometimes as uncles, aunts etc see your family struggling and we sit back and talk about how bad they kids are and all~~ but we don’t offer help. It is a team effort~~so if your niece is being a smart mouth and acting like a ho and your sister is struggling then take your niece and have a talk with her~~sometimes kids feel better talking to you. Maybe something going on within that house that she scared to talk about. Beat her azz for your sister and let her know if you get another call you gonna beat that azz again. We have to help one another instead of saying “it’s not my problem” The same goes for men with bad nephews and cousins. Step up and let them come over for the weekend and show them a different way to live.

    I have talks with my little girl cousins all the time, I try to walk in a light were they can see~~you can be a career women and not lose chick chasing a babysitting check and have your own money to trick on a Gucci bag (are whatever lil wanye rapping about)~~I dress in a way to let them see that you don’t have to be naked to be fly~~and I tell them the truth because they need to hear about my mistakes so they can make a better choice than I did. This is the main reason I started my non for profit Girlz Do Rock because we always assume they should know better~~but I’m telling you with me going out and talking to these girls a lot of them don’t know better. They have no mother no father and nobody to talk to~~so there just doing what they read on the internet or see on tv..

    I revamping my program and calling it the good girls club so I am working on that now. I think the media has shown us to long in a neg light and it is tearing these young girls down and misguiding. The same as the young boys but I feel like we can not do it all and shouldn’t be forced to~~however it is what it is~~so I go out and try to get these young girlz to see it’s a better way and everything you see on tv is not real…

    sorry for the book again but I had to get it out~~so it’s a team and there is no I in team. And also as parents we need to step aside and let the people who are trying to help you~~~ help you. That does not make you a bad parent are less than the next person because it takes a team to make a great kid!!!

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    intensemocha says:

    I REFUSE TO ALLOW MAN TO DETERMINE MY DESTINY

    IT’S NOT UP TO MAN BUT GOD-YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE WITH HARD WORK AND GOD

    SIDEBAR: HOW DOES IT AFFECT THE CHILDREN THAT ALL OF YOU DAMN GROWN FOLKS KEEP TALKING ABOUT TO HEAR CONSTANT NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT THAT THEY WON’T AMOUNT TO SHIAT BECAUSE THEY COME FROM SINGLE PARENT HOUSEHOLDS?

    HOW DOES IT AFFECT THOSE TEEN-MOMS WHOM ALL OF YOU HAVE ALREADY DETERMINED THAT THEIR LIVES AND CHILDREN WON’T AMOUNT TO SHIAT? HELL MAKES YOU THINK THAT WE ALL SHOULD GIVE UP SINCE “SOCIETY” HAS ALREADY DETERMINED WE’RE ALL DOOMED TO HELL

    I’M GLAD I KNOW WHO I AM AND HAVE ALWAYS GONE AGAINST THE GRAIN CAUSE THEY TOLD ME TOO I WOULDN’T AMOUNT TO SHIAT BECAUSE I WAS A TEEN MOM, MY CHILD WOULDN’T EITHER AND

    EVEN MY ENGLISH TEACHER IN HIGH SCHOOL TOLD ME BECAUSE I WAS A TEEN MOM I WOULDN’T GO FAR-THANKS!

    GLORY BE TO GOD-WHEN THEY SEE ME NOW YES I WILL TOOT MY OWN HORN GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL, OBTAINED MY ASSOCIATES, BACHELORS AND A COSMETOLOGY LICENSE, WAS ON WELFARE AND SECTION 8 WHILE I ATTENDED COLLEGE AND NOW I JUST PURCHASED MY FIRST HOME AND I HAVE A GOOD CREDIT SCORE

    AND MY CHILD IS AN ADULT AND HAS NEVER SEEN THE BACK OF A POLICE CAR AND HAS NO CHILDREN IS CURRENTLY IN THE MILITAIRY DOING VERY WELL I MIGHT ADD

    SO TO ALL OF YOU MOFOS WHO KNOW SO DAMN MUCH-YOU DON’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO SPEAK OVER SOMEONE ELSES LIFE!

  56. 56
    dblaq says:

    He is gathering material for his next album Heartbreaks & 808 Pt 2. Which will be much darker than the last about how women sh!t on him

  57. 57
    glamdiva83 says:

    Sandra I agree w/ u when u say parent’s shouldn’t put each other down around the kids. I know this from experience. Late last year I called things off w/my fiance during my 2nd pregnancy & things turnt ugly a lot around our daughter. She smart to be 3yrs old & has done picked up the habit of hating her father like I do because she hears the arguements & picks up what is said. I taught her just because me & him doesn’t get along doesn’t mean she doesn’t because he loves her no matter what. The only thing that hurts her is when he don’t answer her calls when he outr w/his “new” watever she is. I have a 5month son & I also agree a strong independent man needs 2b in his life I’m blessed he has uncles & my bf which is his goddad to stir him in the right direction of being a man. Also, I feel boys whom greow up without a father/man figure tend to believe whatever they witness men do to their moms,aunts,sisters,cousin,etc is the right thing to do. My male friend always thought it was ok for a man to cuss,beat,disrespect women in public & private because that’s what he witnessed. Luckly I think when we were seniors in hs when he told me basically he was going to rape his girlfriend I had to tell my dad to talk to him because he saw all those things happen in his household he thought it was the right thing to do. Now I can honestly say I saved a black man from being put in jail & he has his PH.D I am so proud of him of what he has become in life. The only negative thing he did was hit his girl @ school but he did get a beat down by me & my girls when that incident happen.

  58. 58

    And let me tell the single ladies please don’t feel bad for not being with your child father. I held on to that flock of a relationship because I am a country girl and was told growing up “you never leave your house, and to stay and work it out for the kids”~~I didn’t want my kids to grow up without a two parent household so I told myself I will endure being mistreated so I can let my kids have what they deserve. A mother and a father that they wake up to everyday~~damn my happiness, damn Im so miserable, damn this nicca treats me like crap, damn the example I am showing my daughter… I cried so many nights from being unhappy~~and it even got to the point where I felt better off being dead~~I’m crying as I type this because this is very personal info but it’s real~~~never let no body tear you down are make you feel worthless~~so what if your kids only wake up to you everyday~~fluck what people feel about you raising a child alone..

    Nobody has to walk in your shoes but you, nobody has to endure that pain. While everybody walking around popping there gums about what they feel is right and what you need to do~~you ask God because he did not put us here to suffer and he did not say as women we have to stick it out with a low life for some kids..

    Kids are not stupid and when the relationship is not heathy the kids will notice.. Because as a woman when your not happy it is very hard to make others happy~~so your yelling at the kids for little stupid stuff mad at the world all because your holding on to a fail relationship or marriage for the kids to have two parents?? Just stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Live your life and don’t let other be the decision maker of your happiness~~Because truly the only person opinion that count is the man up stairs and he didn’t put us here to suffer. So don’t let folks make you feel bad because you made a bad choice in a spouse (shyt happens) So what the next bish say she married and it makes a difference good for her azz!!! it doesn’t work that way for everybody this is the real world and nothing turns out how you plan it. Hell if I could see the winning lotto numbers I’d play it but I can’t so when I play I take a chance at losing. Hell life is only what you make it if your a single mom do the best you can and aline yourself with good people who are willing to help and not make you feel like your less than they are cuz your not married (shyt happens)!!!!

  59. 59
    intensemocha says:

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY SOME WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT ONCE YOU GET MARRIED LIFE IS PEACHY KEEN AND YOU LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER W/O ANY PROBLEMS

    OR THAT MARRIAGE IS FOREVER AND THEY COULD NEVER BECOME A SINGLE MOM

  60. 60
    Krysi J says:

    But at the same time let yall get word about a single dad raising their kids and he gets the MAN of the YEAR award!…but we get looked down upon as if we are the lowest species of existence on this planet for raising our Sons and daughters.

  61. 61
    Krysi J says:

    I cried so many nights from being unhappy~~and it even got to the point where I felt better off being dead~~I’m crying as I type this because this is very personal info but it’s real~~~never let no body tear you down are make you feel worthless~~so what if your kids only wake up to you everyday~~fluck what people feel about you raising a child alone..
    ———————————————————-

    Nichelle this was very powerful and encouraging to someone in the situation you are speaking of. My Grandmothers always taught me “don’t be running behind no man, don’t let a man treat you any kind of way, and if he can do it you can do it too”….I mean some people may not agree with this teaching, but thats all I know, so Im not going to hang on to a situation that isn’t working even when it hurts to let go. I know some women will agree with that, and Im going to teach my daughter the same. You don’t have to be spineless in a relationship with a man and sacrafice your happiness to satisfy the opinions of others. And as much as LOVE HURTS who would want to? LOVE HURTS SO BAD….it makes you feel defeated when your in it with someone who doesn’t feel the same, or constantly hurts you. I just can’t take that type of pain…I don’t like feeling depressed and lonely every where I go because of some no good man. Life has so much more in store for us than that. So I completely agree Nichelle, and I comend you for being brave enough to move on.

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    @Krysi J Says:

    Thanks for that, it ticked me off cuz I hate it when people try to belittle it is so unneeded. I know it’s some women right now unhappy but hanging on to worthless nicca’s because they worried what people will think. I’m so glad God took that silly sprit away from me and opened my eyes to see that I deserved to be happy to. And good teaching from grandma because it’s so true~~~

    @ intensemocha Says:

    Thanks and yes life is never what you plan it to be but it always what God wants it to be for u. He sends you through certain things for a reason the bible tells us that…

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    MistaO says:

    Dayum Sandra!

    Real talk in that post! Lord knows we need more people willing to speak this truth and quit playing with matters.

    Kudos again!

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