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When and if troubled actress Lindsay Lohan finally makes it back home to LA, you can expect to see the largest mob of paparazzi ever assembled at LAX airport.

That is because every paparazzi in town will be vying for that money shot: the one that shows Lohan shackled and being led to a waiting squad car.

In case you haven't been following Lohan's latest misadventures, she was supposed to be in a LA courtroom today for a mandatory progress report on her probation. But Lindsay's reps claim she's stuck in the South of France after someone stole her passport in Cannes where she was attending the film festival this past weekend.

The judge isn't buying Lohan's excuses, and she ordered LiLo to appear today -- or a bench warrant will be issued for her arrest. It probably didn't help LiLo's case that she's been photographed partying hard every night in Cannes since losing her passport (see above pic).

X17 paps staked out the LAX airport last night in the hopes that LiLo would miraculously make it onto a plane from France, but LiLo was a no-show.

That sets the stage for the ginormous paparazzi zoo that will descend upon LAX for when LiLo finally does fly home.

LiLo's father Michael Lohan, himself a media whore, says his daughter is deliberately trying to tee off the judge because she wants to go to jail for the publicity, ala Paris Hilton. If you recall, Ms. Hilton famously spent a few days in the relative comfort of the VIP section of LA county jail for violating her probation in 2007.

Lohan was given probation in 2007 after pleading guilty to two counts of DUI and one count of reckless driving.

Update:

Lindsay Lohan missed her 8:30 a.m. appearance in an LA court this morning, so the judge issued a bench warrant for the troubled actress.

Judge Marsha Revel, who brushed aside LiLo's excuse that she lost her passport, set LiLo's bond at $100,000 and imposed stiff restrictions on her activities once she returns from the South of France.

LiLo faces certain jail time if she's caught drinking alcohol after she posts bail. She will also have to wear an ankle monitor.

LiLo rankled the judge's ire by showing up two hours late for a previous court appearance. So she gets no breaks this time.

  • Ms.kaylamomma

    This girl needs a serious intervention. Somebody other than her cokehead mom and her alcoholic dad needs to step in.

    Good morning all :coffee:

  • FloridaChick813

    :yawn: This is not what I was looking for

  • Man, I just don’t care™

    ¿¿¿ :blink: ???

    Why do we have posts on Lindsey Lohan? I mean, I know she is "part of the family" and all Sandra but who cares about her?

    We have our own crack head lesbians (**cough** Whitney Houston *cough**) that we could talk about.

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    :rofl: Maaaaaannnnnn, it's too early in the morning for this

  • LadyLew

    FloridaChick813 says:

    This is not what I was looking for

    I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!!! Been refreshing for this mess?

  • jazi65

    Another celeb headed to the pokey :rofl:

  • Man, I just don’t care™

    @YVONNE
    "Maaaaaannnnnn, it’s too early in the morning for this"
    _________________________________________________________________________________

    She has an entire web page that now has its own t.v. show devoted to her, her crack and court appearances. ..."Z.M.T."

  • FloridaChick813

    :lol: @ LadyLew

    @ Man, Sandra cares about her :coffee:

  • http://twitter.com/Ms_Missy2791 missy

    I feel bad for poor Lindsay she needs a serious intervention....

    she needs rehab,Jesus and better people in her life...... :yes: I hope she can change before anything bad happens to her...

  • Candi Apple

    She needs rehab but she said no,no,no.. this girl will be the death of herself. her parents need to be punched in the face, where is chris brown when you need him.

  • Daisy

    I :pray: Lindsay gets it together sooner than later bless her heart

  • CivilEngineer

    Lindsay never had a chance with the parents she has

    @Man...I thought my mom was the only one who thinks Whitney Houston is a lesbian. Makes sense...

  • LadyLew

    Candi Apple says:
    this girl will be the death of herself. her parents need to be punched in the face, where is chris brown when you need him.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
    SHUT UP!!!!!

  • pyt305

    :yawn: good morning

  • aqtpie

    Prayerfully Lindsay will get it together!! :rofl: @ Candi Apple!!

  • Man, I just don’t care™

    @CIVIL
    "I thought my mom was the only one who thinks Whitney Houston is a lesbian. Makes sense…"
    ________________________________________________________________________________

    Well, I just think Whitney is a freak and the type of person that would do anything twice.

    Funny you should mention your Mom, my Mom LOVED her some Whitney and Luthor. She wanted them to get together in the 80's. I was like Momma, they are both gay! She hate it when I say anything negative about either one of them to this day. LOL.

  • http://charactercorner.blogspot.com attorneymom

    If she does not care about herself, why should anyone else care about her? She is the only one with God's help that can get herself out of her mess. Next.

  • http://twitter.com/Ms_Missy2791 missy

    Also Lindsay is the epitome of Looking older or as old as your parents....

    I feel she smells like alcohol and cigarettes..and hot azz... :hurl: ....I want to send her some wipes or give her a hose down....

  • MIZZ.I_REP_ATL

    GM ALL....Look like this girl is heading down the same road as Brit Spears...when while these rich yt folks get they act together. I will keep her in my prayers

  • starr

    Lindsay never had a chance with the parents she has
    *************

    pretty much.....

    I don't pay attention to her stories anymore....her own mother is enabling her to continue with her wreckless out of control behavior...why should anybody else care

  • starr

    MIZZ.I_REP_ATL says:

    GM ALL….Look like this girl is heading down the same road as Brit Spears…when while these rich yt folks get they act together. I will keep her in my prayers

    ************

    Atlest brits parents cared about her. Dina driving lindsy to the clubs....

  • ohpretty1

    Can we say bench warrant? Team Attorneymom!

  • http://twitter.com/mrs_truth ms.truth

    CAN WE PLEASE GET A POST ABOUT NENE'S NEW FACE????

    thanks, got a sista in INTENSE mode this morning.

    And can anyone tell me if she actually answered the question about her nose on Rickey Smiley's show this morning? I missed her answer.

    Good morning... :coffee:

  • TSRBenz

    the only post i wanna read is lindsay lohan sentenced to 1 year in jail

  • Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams

    :rofl: @ man

  • http://twitter.com/mrs_truth ms.truth

    I'm guessing we got another post about her because her last post was the most viewed one, but of course that's only because we were not talking about the actual post. :rolleyes: No one cares about this chick.

  • TSRBenz

    @23 nene definitely had a nose job i checked it out and it looks horrible i dont even think she can breath out of that thing

  • ohpretty1

    CivilEngineer says:

    Lindsay never had a chance with the parents she has
    -----------------------------------------

    Exactly. I know that she's an adult now, but her parents are to blame for this behavior that's been out of control since she was a teen. Who has drunk pics on the net and your mom is in 50%+ of them?

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco

    Damn Lindsay getcho act together

  • ohpretty1

    @ ms. truth - GM and she said that she had on contouring makeup and that people need to understand photoshop, not in that order. :-)

  • http://twitter.com/mrs_truth ms.truth

    @ohpretty

    so she photoshopped her twitter pic also? I don't believe it. I'll have to see photos that suggest otherwise. I'm really not feeling her anymore. She's too overboard and thinks she has to tell everyone off. She'd get her feelings hurt with me.

  • Cinnamon Kisses

    Ayntee Sandra.....are we gonna get regular post's on Lindsay bekuz she like :lick: #justaskin :coffee:

  • Champagne Wishes & Caviar Dreams

    :lol: @ cinnamon

  • LilMissRed

    this chick needs help.. maybe some jail time will get her cleaned up?? :shrugs:

  • OutsidetheBox

    Poor LiLo. SMH. :cry:

  • ShoYaRight

    Way to go LiLo! Paris has done jail, Necole did jail and now it's Lindsey's turn. You haven't truly arrived as a young socialite in Hollywood if you haven't caused a frenzied tabloid mayhem by strutting down the walking of the prison entrance. Smile, turn and POSE!

  • http://www.ashland86.com TheRealAshland

    I never wish ill will on anyone but, hope she spends a good 6 months behind bars, maybe that will teach her a lesson, hollywood gets away with way to much, us regular folk would never have so many chances.

  • Ashley

    LOL@ this picture. dayuum Lindsay. and I liked this chick when she first came out. Pray for this one. What a mess she has become.

  • Ashley

    TheRealAshland---- YOU ARE RIGHT. She needs to do time. This girl needs a wake up call. I much rather her be locked up for a while, straighten herself out over being dead in a ditch somewhere.