Marsha Ambrosius’ Video “Far Away” sends the wrong message

Marsha Ambrosius’ new music video for her single “Far Away” is getting a lot of buzz, especially in the gay community. I watched the video in its entirety for the first time yesterday. And while I believe the directing is on point and the visuals are stunning, the video sends the wrong message about suicide as it relates to homophobic bullying.

Gay teens are not committing suicide because they are the targets of homophobic bullying; they are committing suicide due to their undiagnosed mental issues (depression being one of them).

If, as Marsha suggests, society succeeded in eliminating homophobic bullying, the suicide rate among gay teens would stay the same. That’s because the core issue (depression) is not being addressed properly.

Homophobic bullying is not the problem — bullying is a natural part of growing up. The problem is the lack of government funding for mental health programs in schools to identify and treat depressed teens.



 


111 Responses to “Marsha Ambrosius’ Video “Far Away” sends the wrong message”

  1. 1
    Bird says:

    I have not read the article because I want to comment quick before my boss walks up on me. My two cents is I don’t know what wrong message you are referring to. I thought the video had a great message and it even fits with the lyrics of the song. My problem with it is the ugliness of the video clashes with the beauty of the song. But I understand the topic being close to her heart.

    I can’t wait for her CD to come out. Marsha is amazing. No one out currently is messing with this girl.

  2. 2
    StillASassyOne says:

    Forget the video…I just love me some Marsha Ambrosius!! Ever since Floetry: “hello, How are you? What you up to? Nothin? Im cool. She’s fine, alright, thats true. Who me? Not you, she said, What you do? You crazy, forreal though, Can I, let u know?

    Oh and “Don’t you say a wordd boy, just let me go, go, go, go, go, go….”

    *makes mental note that Floetry & Marsha should play my entire drive home today.*

  3. 3
    lilredkk says:

    Unfortunately, the medicine available for depressed teens has a side effect that defeats it’s purpose….”may cuase suicidal thoughts”

  4. 4
    ChaCha says:

    Bird says:
    I can’t wait for her CD to come out. Marsha is amazing. No one out currently is messing with this girl.

    :cosign:

  5. 5
    Bird says:

    Ok I read your post and I agree with what you are saying to a large extent. BUT it has to be difficult to face bullying relating to something that you can’t change about yourself. To be humilitated and ridiculed wherever you go because of something that will never change. I can see a person thinking there will be no end to the harrassment. Not to mention childhood bullying ends almost immediately after you leave school. Homosexual bashing doesn’t. So in this once case I don’t know that it is always depression alone that leads to the suicide. It is possible that not all suicidal people are mentally ill just like not all murders are mentally ill.

  6. 6
    robin says:

    Have not viewed the video yet but have heard it is powerful.
    Can it be that the increase in suicide rates as it relates to LGBT teenagers is a combination of both bullying and mental health issues. Both issues need to be addressed in our community.

  7. 7
    luvly1957 says:

    While I don’t agree with what you’re saying in a whole because that is not why a lot of teens and children are killing themselves it is a problem that needs to be addresses. Sandra are you forgetting about the kid here in ATL that killed hiself over bullying in school and no he was not gay. So while some of it is due to this fact alot of it is not.

  8. 8
    Kitrina says:

    it doesn’t send the wrong message. This video was more for the hateful people than the gay people. Its saying keep the negativity to yourself

  9. 9
    YSoSerious says:

    But wouldn’t homophobic bullying lead to depression and therefore suicide for some gay teens?

    I know not being bullied and generally unaccepted for something I have no control over would make me depressed.

  10. 10
    DrDukes says:

    I don’t think Marsha’s message was to say that EVERY gay teen that has committed suicide did so because they were bullied. This video was just ONE example of an issue that is rampant in today’s society. Her overall message was clear – stop bullying because it can lead to a life being lost.

  11. 11
    YSoSerious says:

    *edit*

    I know not being bullied

  12. 12
    Kitrina says:

    Where you bullied Sandra?

  13. 13
    blackwidow says:

    Bullying in any form is wrong. In Marsha’s letter she clearly states that some suicides are caused by homophobic bullying not all. Her purpose was to make people aware not diagnose folks thru a video. I love the song and thought that the video was really good. Can’t wait for her album to drop

  14. 14
    ELove says:

    Ms. Sandra
    I AGREE about BULLYING is a part of LIFE (Shyt Happens…) And unfortunately Bullying is a Natural Occurrence… Hell I was BULLIED Mercifully in my household by My Elder Brothers and Routinely by MY Elder Female Cousins when we visited my Aunts/Uncles growing Up OR when My Mom allowed them to babysit us at Our Own DAMN House (Real…) :shrug:

  15. 15
    FoxE says:

    I don’t think the video sends the wrong message. Its a very deep video w/ a meaning. I know for one i’m tired of seeing pointless videos w/ naked ladies, money, and a whole bunch of people standing around looking lost. :rolleyes: So this video along with a few other artists, actually means something. While it may not address the ENTIRE problem, it addresses a major part of it.

    Anyone knows when the album comes out??

  16. 16
    Candi Apple says:

    Nice song, This girl can sing. I liked Floetry, wonders why they split.

    I think bullying leads to suicide.

  17. 17
    bnatural says:

    YSoSerious says:

    But wouldn’t homophobic bullying lead to depression and therefore suicide for some gay teens?

    I know not being bullied and generally unaccepted for something I have no control over would make me depressed.

    —————————————

    Exactly…instead of outright dissing the video for not addressing depression how about giving it some props for contributing the awareness of bullying.

    Yes bullying is a part of life but THAT IS NOT AN EXCUSE for the type of bullying that is going on these days. There is a new ugly side of bullying.

  18. 18
    iciaantica says:

    I agree with you Sandra. Bullying happens ( I have been) it all depends on the person being bullied personality…some are stronger than others.

  19. 19
    blackwidow says:

    Just read the post again and got a little ticked. Bullying is not a normal part of growing up, and if so for who? Children should not be bullying other children. Parents need to do their jobs. Teach your children it’s not okay to tease, bully, and pick on other people. Bullying does not build character it creates future a$$holes that we have to deal with in society.

  20. 20
    Mamacita says:

    I was bullied in school for all types of sh*t that I couldn’t control (weight, height, color, accent, etc.). I do believe the problem is deeper than just being “bullied”. And as someone stated earlier the supposed “cures” for depression have more dangerous side effects than anything.

  21. 21
    whatdoesitmatter says:

    You’re right about the bullying. Everyone at some point or another have been bullied. Either in school or on the job. Everyone is not jumping off a bridge. The ones with depression or other underlying mental illnesses see suicide as a way out and it’s not just gay bullied teens. Well, that’s my two cents. :shrugs: Mental illness is real.

  22. 22
    free says:

    bullying has been around for years but, as some suggest, the outlets (such as myspace, facebook, cell texts, etc.) have enabled bullies to take it to another level beyond face to face interaction. bullies can now hide behind a computer, send nasty messages to everyone you and they know, and bully you 24-7. it’s just a different environment now. plus parents are more hands-off. teachers are more hands-off. who can you run to as a child? i have heard much about the video so i guess i’ll watch it….

  23. 23
    Anna says:

    blackwidow says:

    Just read the post again and got a little ticked. Bullying is not a normal part of growing up
    ~~~~~~~~
    Did you grow up in a bubble? Bullying is a part of life. Are you fat, skinny too dark too light, too short. There is always a bully on the playground or maybe you just looked at it as simple hating. LOL.

  24. 24
    Quitta says:

    Wow before this post was even put up I was watching this on youtube and thought it was deep.

    Anyway, I like Marsha. (I’m so copping her album) I like the song. To me, the message she was trying to bring makes sense IMO. In fact, I’m finally glad to see a video that’s putting out a message for people to learn something from besides all of the garbage that is being stuffed in our faces today.

  25. 25
    Sandra Rose says:

    Anna says:

    Did you grow up in a bubble? Bullying is a part of life. Are you fat, skinny too dark too light, too short. There is always a bully on the playground or maybe you just looked at it as simple hating. LOL.
    _____________________

    :clap: Thank you Anna. Bullying IS a normal part of growing up. Every child is bullied. Bullying is never going away.

  26. 26
    Sandra Rose says:

    whatdoesitmatter says:

    You’re right about the bullying. Everyone at some point or another have been bullied. Either in school or on the job. Everyone is not jumping off a bridge. The ones with depression or other underlying mental illnesses see suicide as a way out and it’s not just gay bullied teens. Well, that’s my two cents. :shrugs: Mental illness is real.
    _____________________

    :clap:

  27. 27
    StillASassyOne says:

    I also have to agree that bullying is going to happen one way or another. It may not be playground bullying, but a boss, a nasty coworker, a nasty cop, a neighbor who lets his ogs poop on your lawn, your older siblings who tease you for having freckles.

    You kind of have to develop a thick skin, learn to love yourself regardless and move past it. Conquer it and let it go. Those who kill themselves may have deeper issues than just “bullying is painful” but maybe depression or other mental disorders.

    But to think that EVERYBODY doesn’t get bullied at some point or another in their life and maybe even throughout their life on different levels…is a bit naive.

  28. 28
    Sandra Rose says:

    blackwidow says:

    Teach your children it’s not okay to tease, bully, and pick on other people.
    _______________________

    Here’s a reality check: bullying is not ever going away. So how about teaching your child the necessary coping skills to deal with bullying? How about teaching your child to love himself and build high self-esteem so a bully’s words can’t affect him?

  29. 29
    StillASassyOne says:

    Hell….my mom bullies me about my “hips & thighs” and my fiance bullies me about my “blonde moments” all the time. I get that they are playing a bit, but sometimes it annoys the f**k out of me.

    But it is what it is. Look at it this way: if somebody is overly-crtitical of you, you have/are doing something that they wish to do/are not so :shrug:.

  30. 30
    ChaCha says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    blackwidow says:

    Teach your children it’s not okay to tease, bully, and pick on other people.
    _______________________

    Here’s a reality check: bullying is not ever going away. So how about teaching your child the necessary coping skills to deal with bullying? How about teaching your child to love himself and build high self-esteem so a bully’s words can’t affect him?

    :preach:

  31. 31
    blackwidow says:

    @Anna no I didn’t live in a bubble and yes I was teased. Let me restate my point, I have an issue with the thinking that bullying is just a part of growing up or par for the course. My question would be, why is that? Do parents and teachers not see it…doubt it they just choose not to act on it. For me it goes back to “treat others as you would like to be treated”. I teach my children this same principle.

  32. 32
    ICYTIFF says:

    I HAVE TO AGREE W/ AUNTIE ON THIS ONE. DEPRESSION IS USUALLY THE MAIN CAUSE BEHIND THE SUICIDE. WHILE EVERYCHILD IS BULLIED, NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO OFF THEMSELF. OR ACTUALLY SUCCEEDS :coffee:

  33. 33
    iciaantica says:

    Depression is a huge issue..i knew a girl who would cut herself and imo she endured the typical bullying. I giess she was battling something else.

  34. 34
    ChaCha says:

    StillASassyOne says:

    I also have to agree that bullying is going to happen one way or another. It may not be playground bullying, but a boss, a nasty coworker, a nasty cop, a neighbor who lets his ogs poop on your lawn, your older siblings who tease you for having freckles.

    OMG I went to refresh and begin a new comment and you pretty much took the words out of my mouth… BULLYING comes in several ways, forms and fashion and its not your typical big kid little kid issue anymore…tons of people get strong armed on a daily basis from 0-100 :yes:

  35. 35
    lilredkk says:

    Mental Illness (depression) is SERIOUS! Been there and have a few friends and family dealing with it. Bullying…I have been and did bully..it is not right, but it does take place. It does not matter if parents teach that it is not right; it is mean, etc…when the cats away..the mice will play and peer pressure is normally the reason the bully is bullying.

  36. 36
    Sandra Rose says:

    YSoSerious says:

    But wouldn’t homophobic bullying lead to depression and therefore suicide for some gay teens?
    _____________________

    No. You’re putting the egg before the chicken. The underlying depression (or other mental illness) is there first. Bullying doesn’t lead to depression. The depression is already there. If it is left undiagnosed and untreated then that child will be despondent as a reaction to ANY stressful factor — not just bullying.

  37. 37
    Goddesstbaby says:

    Regardles wonderful song and Video ! I hate too see anyone ridiculed and Bullied but in the end our world will never accept homosexuality as a whole! No matter how we would love the we are the world image ! Not about to ever happen ! An seriously I dont want to see two men walking down the street holding hands and kissing in public :no:

  38. 38
    Al-Ameera says:

    Sandra, sometimes you surprise me with the things you say.

  39. 39
    StillASassyOne says:

    Also….Uncle Sam bullies everybody on here out of a piece of their paycheck every week…..nobody says anything about that. :shrug: And that’s bullying in the WORST way in my opinion….

    Talk about me and tease me all day…but don’t be trying to take a piece of what I EARNED from me…THAT sh*t is what needs to stop!!!

  40. 40
    iciaantica says:

    Excuse the typos…commenting via phone

  41. 41
    Quitta says:

    StillASassyOne says:

    Also….Uncle Sam bullies everybody on here out of a piece of their paycheck every week…..nobody says anything about that. :shrug: And that’s bullying in the WORST way in my opinion….

    Talk about me and tease me all day…but don’t be trying to take a piece of what I EARNED from me…THAT sh*t is what needs to stop!!!
    ________

    Word!

  42. 42
    lilredkk says:

    I loike # 28 Sandra! Self esteem…if you do not love and know yourself..anyone can crack you!

  43. 43
    blackwidow says:

    @Still I agree with you on that one. I looked at my w-2 and got real irked about how much they got in taxes.

  44. 44
    Mamacita says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    YSoSerious says:

    But wouldn’t homophobic bullying lead to depression and therefore suicide for some gay teens?
    _____________________

    No. You’re putting the egg before the chicken. The underlying depression (or other mental illness) is there first. Bullying doesn’t lead to depression. The depression is already there. If it is left undiagnosed and untreated then that child will be despondent as a reaction to ANY stressful factor — not just bullying.

    —————————————————————————————————

    Eexactly! :claps:

  45. 45
    Anna says:

    blackwidow says:

    @Anna no I didn’t live in a bubble and yes I was teased. Let me restate my point, I have an issue with the thinking that bullying is just a part of growing up or par for the course. My question would be, why is that? Do parents and teachers not see it…doubt it they just choose not to act on it. For me it goes back to “treat others as you would like to be treated”. I teach my children this same principle.

    ~~~~~~~
    Where do you live? I am not being mean or disrespectful towards your comment. Kids are living in households with parents and siblings that bully “thus” a kid takes it back to the playground. There are Teachers that bully. I think some police officer only become Police Officer out of being bullyed in the past and they tend to over use their authority.

  46. 46
    AWESOME ARSENAL says:

    I was bullied when I was younger about my complexion but most times I forgot about it almost as fast as it happened. You give a nigga a couple catepillars on his head and bullying stops instantly in most cases….. :coffee:

  47. 47
    StillASassyOne says:

    @Black Widow

    I refuse to look and get my damn blood pressure up…..

  48. 48
    Sandra Rose says:

    lilredkk says:

    I like # 28 Sandra! Self esteem…if you do not love and know yourself..anyone can crack you!
    ______________________

    :clap: That is so true! When you don’t love yourself you leave yourself unguarded for any bully to come in and attack you. Loving yourself is like putting a wall between you and a bully. If they can’t get to you they can’t hurt you. That’s how I see it.

  49. 49
    Bird says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    Thank you Anna. Bullying IS a normal part of growing up. Every child is bullied. Bullying is never going away.
    **************************

    I was not bullied. Are we talking about the same thing? Some kids a are bullied mercilessly all day, everyday, by the same person or people. You mean to tell me you know a bunch of people who deal with that growing up? Its not a normal part of life and it is unacceptable. I’m really shocked people think its ok. And for the person who said they were bullied by their siblings I KNOW we ain’t talkin about the same thing.

  50. 50
    Anna says:

    StillASassyOne says:

    Also….Uncle Sam bullies everybody on here out of a piece of their paycheck every week…..nobody says anything about that.
    ~~~~~~~
    How are roads, wars and medicade suppose to get paid?

  51. 51
    YSoSerious says:

    free says:
    bullying has been around for years but, as some suggest, the outlets (such as myspace, facebook, cell texts, etc.) have enabled bullies to take it to another level beyond face to face interaction. bullies can now hide behind a computer, send nasty messages to everyone you and they know, and bully you 24-7. it’s just a different environment now. plus parents are more hands-off. teachers are more hands-off. who can you run to as a child?
    ***************************************
    Good points. :claps:

    While I agree that bullying is a part of growing up, the level and extent that bullying can get to now is nothing compared to what most of us grew up with.

    As parents we do have to teach our children how deal with bullies cause you can’t stop it from happening. Kids will find the smallest thing to go at someone for.

    But at some point, a child needs to be able to have the adults in his/her life step in when it goes to far. And if that child has no one to turn to, they can become depressed and see suicide as they’re only way out.

    So I think my original position that bullying can lead to depression is still valid.

  52. 52
    GeminEyez says:

    My opinion: I agree with Ms. Sandra in this case as far as bullying being a part of growing up. I just had a friend whose 10 year old cousin just hung herself due to bullying in school. I dont think it was the “making fun” part but more the fact that she didnt know what to do with those emotions. She wasnt taught how to handle those feelings. Sometimes as parents and educators we drop the ball when we are teaching these kids about the “real world”. I get slack for making sure I am at the school if my little Kindergartener (sp) has a problem or if someone is teasing her, even for PTA business. These kids have to know someone is in their corners and love is there. *excuse my rant*

  53. 53
    Sandra Rose says:

    blackwidow says:

    In Marsha’s letter she clearly states that some suicides are caused by homophobic bullying not all.
    _____________________

    Well she’s wrong. Depression and lack of coping skills leads to suicides. Suicides are the result of depression and lack of coping skills. Bullying is just a catalyst as is any stressful factor to a child who can’t cope.

  54. 54
    dimezz says:

    Sandra Rose says:
    The underlying depression (or other mental illness) is there first. Bullying doesn’t lead to depression.The depression is already there.

    ——————————————
    So are you saying everyone that commited sucide as a result of bullying was already depressed or mentally ill prior to being bullied??? REALLY…and being bullied first everyday wouldnt make a person depressed….wow…just wow.

    Whaddup Sass..

  55. 55
    Sandra Rose says:

    Kitrina says:

    Where you bullied Sandra?
    __________________

    Yes I was bullied relentlessly as a child. And now as an adult I am still being bullied – especially on Twitter. :D But my coping skills have always been intact.

  56. 56
    free says:

    wow, powerful. let the video speak to different people in different ways…

  57. 57
    Tatted Diva says:

    Just because that’s “how you see it” Sandra doesn’t mean its gospel. I also disagree with the comment you made about bullying being a “normal part of growing up!” It may be a part of life but that “ish” is far from normal! Also, don’t go around saying that people are committing suicide due to their undiagnosed mental issues (depression being one of them). Unless we have not receive a full description of your Psychologist or Psychiatrist background, I doubt you are capable of rendering such a diagnoses!

  58. 58
    free says:

    dimezz says: so are you saying everyone that commited sucide as a result of bullying was already depressed or mentally ill prior to being bullied??? REALLY…and being bullied first everyday wouldnt make a person depressed….wow…just wow.

    *********************************

    today is friday so SR is a psychiatrist. sometimes she is a nurse and others a doctor, specializing in pediatrics or adult medicine and/or ob/gyn.

  59. 59
    Sandra Rose says:

    luvly1957 says:

    Sandra are you forgetting about the kid here in ATL that killed hiself over bullying in school and no he was not gay.
    _______________________

    Please read all of my comments in this thread so I won’t have to repeat myself.

  60. 60

    Marsha “Eeyore” Ambrosius got a new song out eh? She came out the closet yet? :coffee:

  61. 61
    Cinderella says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    Kitrina says:

    Where you bullied Sandra?
    __________________

    Yes I was bullied relentlessly as a child. And now as an adult I am still being bullied – especially on Twitter. But my coping skills have always been intact
    _______________________________________________________________________

    Since you pop alot of shyt on Twitter and on this blog, are you surprised? Don’t start none, won’t be none.

  62. 62
    Issa says:

    Bullying is NOT a natural part of growing up. Most of those bullies witness fighting and violence of all sorts in their everyday life. Those are the ones with the issue. I remember reading a story about a young girl that committed suicide by jumping out her bedroom window. Her sister said the main girls that bullied her came to the funeral, walked up to her casket, laughed, pointed and walked away. Really, Sandra? That is natural for children to do. It is absolutely nothing wrong with kids that would do something like that? If it is natural, society is truly ****ed.

  63. 63
    Mamacita says:

    @Bird No one here said it’s ok to bully anyone, we’re just saying it happens. It’s a part of life. Some people may not have been bullied (they either lived in a bubble or were DOING the bullying) but most have been and the fact that it happens never makes it ok but don’t be ignorant to the fact that it more thn likeyly WILL happen.

  64. 64
    thaspinaltruth says:

    Everybody deals with things differently. Some people aren’t strong enough mentally to deal with bullying. And you should teach your child not to behave in those manners. What’s wrong with that :shrug: Yeah bullying is going to happen, but if some of these bad little bastards running around parents raise their children right, most of it can be prevented.

  65. 65
    thaspinaltruth says:

    You will find more so then often that the people doing the bullying have mental issues.

  66. 66
    Got Jokes says:

    And now as an adult I am still being bullied – especially on Twitter.
    ————————————-
    Tell Tameka Foster Raymond she WRONG for that ish….

    :coffee:

  67. 67
    attorneymom says:

    Fat kids get teased worst than anyone and folks do not seem to care about them being bullied.

    How about just stopping all bullying, not just one that impacts homosexual youth.

    Bullying is wrong period.

  68. 68
    Got Jokes says:

    Yall do know that bullying been around since the the beginning of time…and even the bible warned us again “The ruthless…mockers…with an eye for evil…” Isaiah 29:20

    Again, I am not all jokes all the time…

    :coffee:

    SIDENOTE: Where is Redeemed…biblical quotes is her job.

  69. 69
    Sandra Rose says:

    lilredkk says:

    Unfortunately, the medicine available for depressed teens has a side effect that defeats it’s purpose….”may cuase suicidal thoughts”
    _______________________

    That side effect applies to most antidepressants for adults as well as kids. Most kids don’t have the patience to wait for the medication to kick in (sometimes 4-6 weeks). So they think the medicine isn’t working which leads to more depression and suicidal thoughts. That’s why follow up visits to the mental health provider is so important so that depressed kids will be reminded to wait the 4-6 weeks for the medicine to start working.

  70. 70
    Daisy says:

    @Kwall very funny but Meka left twitter last week

    I do believe some gay kids/teens are killing themselves over being bullied for being gay. God Bless any and ell this issue has affected. I do not have a problem with gays they are humans like everybody else.

    S/N I wonder if the men in the video are openly gay…..

  71. 71
    Anna says:

    Issa says:

    Bullying is NOT a natural part of growing up. Most of those bullies witness fighting and violence of all sorts in their everyday life. Those are the ones with the issue. I remember reading a story about a young girl that committed suicide by jumping out her bedroom window. Her sister said the main girls that bullied her came to the funeral, walked up to her casket, laughed, pointed and walked away. Really, Sandra? That is natural for children to do. It is absolutely nothing wrong with kids that would do something like that? If it is natural, society is truly ****ed.

    ~~~~~~~~
    I did read about those girls, sad.
    Is there a difference between bullying and just being plain right mean/hateful?. Doesn’t a bully just want a “quick” reaction from his “audience”?

  72. 72
    Daisy says:

    @Kwall Yes, I agree bullying as been around but that doesnt make it right. I hope the anti bullying campaigns work and help our youth.

  73. 73
    ELove says:

    @attorneymon SAID…
    Fat kids get teased worst than anyone and folks do not seem to care about them being bullied. :blink:

    REALLY ?!!?
    When I was growing up the VAST MAJORITY of the BULLIES were The Big, Fat KIDS (Real…) I remember in the 4th grade this dude named RUFUS was as Tall & Bigger than MOST of the Teachers in the school and was an Absolute TERROR… HIS pockets stayed fat from taking KIDS LUNCH MONEY :yes:

    He NEVER GOT MINE because I could out run His FAT AZZ !!! :rofl:

  74. 74
    Anna says:

    thaspinaltruth says:

    You will find more so then often that the people doing the bullying have mental issues.

    ~~~~~~~~
    Or over inflated egos, along with the need for attention buy any means necessary.

  75. 75
    Sandra Rose says:

    Issa says:

    I remember reading a story about a young girl that committed suicide by jumping out her bedroom window. Her sister said the main girls that bullied her came to the funeral, walked up to her casket, laughed, pointed and walked away. Really, Sandra?
    _______________________

    I’m not saying bullies don’t have issues. I’m saying bullying is a part of life – whether you’re the bully or you’re being bullied. Believe it or not, bullies get bullied too. It’s a part of life and it is never going away. Most of us who have been bullied had the coping skills to handle it. Sadly, that girl didn’t so she chose a quick way out.

  76. 76
    blackwidow says:

    @Anna I live in the US. To put it simply dysfunctional parents raise dysfunctional children unless someone or thing(therapy) intervenes. And yes some teachers do bully, but as a parent be there for your child to intervene, stop it, or remove your child from that situation. Children should be taught coping skills and to love themselves, but there is only so much a person can take. Bullying to me is not simply calling someone a name one day and then forgetting them the next. Bullying, IMO, is repeated teasing, pushing around that just won’t stop. Often times those that bully have issues themselves.

  77. 77
    iyonah says:

    Bingo .. Bingo .. Bingo Sandra :claps: The funding for programs and treatment for mental health issues is lackluster in all states. Depression, Anxiety, BiPolar Disorder etc. all are conditions ignored :( Nobody seems to care until a person dies, ignoring all of the warning signs. Mental health is just as important as anything else. Its starts with awareness. Great post!

  78. 78
    Sandra Rose says:

    Tatted Diva says:

    Just because that’s “how you see it” Sandra doesn’t mean its gospel. I also disagree with the comment you made about bullying being a “normal part of growing up!” It may be a part of life but that “ish” is far from normal! Also, don’t go around saying that people are committing suicide due to their undiagnosed mental issues (depression being one of them). Unless we have not receive a full description of your Psychologist or Psychiatrist background, I doubt you are capable of rendering such a diagnoses!
    _______________________

    I do have a Registered Nurse license that I studied 4 years to obtain. As a part of my nursing studies, I had to do an entire rotation working in mental health and following my graduation, I was a charge nurse (head nurse) in a mental health unit at a local mental health hospital (the same hospital where Gucci is a patient). So, yes, I am qualified to make the statements that I am making. You don’t need a medical doctor’s license to know that people who commit suicide are either extremely depressed or they lack the social skills to cope with life in general.

  79. 79
    Sandra Rose says:

    ELove says:

    Fat kids get teased worst than anyone and folks do not seem to care about them being bullied.
    ______________________

    I have noticed that most fat kids have better self esteem than others. Maybe folks don’t seem to care because they can see that the fat kids don’t let bullies bother them. :shrug:

  80. 80
    ELove says:

    Ahhhh Ms. Sandra I DIDN’T Say THAT (I’m With YOU…) :nono:

    @attorneymom DID (Comment #67) :yes:

  81. 81
    Sandra Rose says:

    blackwidow says:

    Often times those that bully have issues themselves.
    ___________________

    Yes they do. And that’s where the funding for mental health programs in schools comes in. If all schools had mental health programs to identify bullies and their depressed targets, I guarantee you would see more mentally healthy children walking around. As a kid who was bullied, I can tell you that every time my bully was identified by an adult and addressed properly, the bullying stopped.

  82. 82
    Sandra Rose says:

    iyonah says:

    Bingo .. Bingo .. Bingo Sandra :claps: The funding for programs and treatment for mental health issues is lackluster in all states. Depression, Anxiety, BiPolar Disorder etc. all are conditions ignored :( Nobody seems to care until a person dies, ignoring all of the warning signs. Mental health is just as important as anything else. Its starts with awareness. Great post!
    __________________

    Thanks. :)

  83. 83
    dimezz says:

    free says:
    today is friday so SR is a psychiatrist. sometimes she is a nurse and others a doctor, specializing in pediatrics or adult medicine and/or ob/gyn.

    ———————————————-
    Whaddup free….Thanks for the clarifaction…lol

  84. 84
    LadeeA says:

    I was bullied ALL of the time in elementary school by boys and girls. The boys normally liked me and the girls I believe were jealous because they didn’t know me from a can of paint. I was also a popular person, not a loner that’s I why I concluded it as a crush or jealousy. Furthermore, I honestly not one time thought about committing suicide, although I sometimes dreaded going 2 school, I figured it would pass and it did. All of the haters wanted to be my friends in the end. As Sandra and many of you said, bullying is not going away, so we have to teach our children who will fall victim 2 it to brush it off and know that it will be temporary. If it’s something that gets really out of control get parents and authority involved. Many people deal with pain differently. Some are stronger than others that’s all, that’s why some take their life. As far as the gay teens, I think they take their lives because there is some confusion in the hearts and minds and therefore that leads 2 depression then suicide. I will end with this the devil is the only one that convinces people to take their lives, agree with me or not. I’m a tell it! The bible says, “he comes to kill, steal and destroy.”

  85. 85
    aqtpie says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    blackwidow says:

    Teach your children it’s not okay to tease, bully, and pick on other people.
    _______________________

    Here’s a reality check: bullying is not ever going away. So how about teaching your child the necessary coping skills to deal with bullying? How about teaching your child to love himself and build high self-esteem so a bully’s words can’t affect him?

    *******************
    :cosign: Parents need to do BOTH!!! Great video and song!!!

  86. 86
    Tatted Diva says:

    Tatted Diva says:

    Just because that’s “how you see it” Sandra doesn’t mean its gospel. I also disagree with the comment you made about bullying being a “normal part of growing up!” It may be a part of life but that “ish” is far from normal! Also, don’t go around saying that people are committing suicide due to their undiagnosed mental issues (depression being one of them). Unless we have not receive a full description of your Psychologist or Psychiatrist background, I doubt you are capable of rendering such a diagnoses!
    _______________________
    Sandra Rose says:
    I do have a Registered Nurse license that I studied 4 years to obtain. As a part of my nursing studies, I had to do an entire rotation working in mental health and following my graduation, I was a charge nurse (head nurse) in a mental health unit at a local mental health hospital (the same hospital where Gucci is a patient). So, yes, I am qualified to make the statements that I am making. You don’t need a medical doctor’s license to know that people who commit suicide are either extremely depressed or they lack the social skills to cope with life in general.
    ________________________

    Okay….I’ll give you that one, but being “in the life” myself and knowing ALOT of ppl in the life, please don’t go around making diagnosis of people you’ve never met! Misdiagnosis aften leads to lawsuits! LOL

  87. 87
    intensemocha says:

    ATTEMPTING SUICIDE ALONE IS EVIDENCE OF MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, SUCH AS DEPRESSION

    REGARDLESS OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION, EVERYONE EXPERIENCE PROBLEMS, CRISIS, ADVERSITY ETC. SOME MORE SEVERE THAN OTHERS, BUT THEY DON’T OPT TO KILL THEMSELVES!

    I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY THAT DESPITE BULLYING/TEASING CHOOSING TO COMMIT SUICIDE IS IN FACT A MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE

    STEREOTYPE, BUT WITH ALL STEREOTYPES THERE IS SOME TRUTH WITH IT

    GAYS/LESBIANS WHO ARE NOT TRULY COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR SEXUALITY KEEP UP TOO MUCH DRAMA AND WEAR THEIR SEXUAL OREINTATION ON THEIR SLEAVE AND HAVE A TENDENCY TO HAVE TO ANNOUNCE THEIR GAY EVERY TWO SECONDS

    THEIR ARE HEALTHY GAYS WHO DON’T KILL THEMSELVES AND LEAD NORMAL LIVES-THOSE ARE THE ONES WHO ARE TRULY OKAY WITH THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION!

  88. 88
    LiveLaughLove says:

    I first want to say I love the video. It is relevant and makes you take notice.

    Second, I was bullied in school and no I was NOT depressed before they started in on me. It got on my nerves and it happened for 2 years. I wasn’t depressed during or after either. I was ANGRY more than anything. But before they started with me, I was a happy, always smiling kid.

  89. 89
    intensemocha says:

    ALL THE NAME CALLING MANY OF YOU DO ON HERE ALONE, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN TEASING AND NAME CALLING IS WRONG WHEN THE TARGET IS GAY

    GTFOH! HYPOCRITES-LOL!

  90. 90
    intensemocha says:

    I DONT CARE WHAT ANY OF YOU SAY-IF YOU OPT TO TAKE YOUR LIFE TO DEAL WITH A TEMPORARY SITUATION OR PROBLEM IN LIFE-SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY OFF TO BEGIN WITH

    CONSIDERING SUICIDE IS ONE THING, CARRYING IT OUT IS ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL

    AND WHERE IS THE BIBLE THUMPERS AT-SUICIDE IS A SIN RIGHT? NOBODY CAN FORCE YOU TO TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE-THAT’S A CHOICE THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE-

  91. 91
    Sandra Rose says:

    intensemocha says:

    CONSIDERING SUICIDE IS ONE THING, CARRYING IT OUT IS ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL
    ________________________

    Exactly! No one takes their lives because they were bullied. The problem is much deeper than that. We have to understand that mental illness is a serious problem in our society.

  92. 92
    Sandra Rose says:

    LadeeA says:

    I honestly not one time thought about committing suicide, although I sometimes dreaded going 2 school, I figured it would pass and it did. All of the haters wanted to be my friends in the end. As Sandra and many of you said, bullying is not going away, so we have to teach our children who will fall victim 2 it to brush it off and know that it will be temporary.
    __________________

    :clap: That’s the key! A lot of those kids don’t even think on that level. They don’t have the insight to see that it gets better if they just live long enough. :(

  93. 93
    Sandra Rose says:

    Tatted Diva says:

    Okay….I’ll give you that one, but being “in the life” myself and knowing ALOT of ppl in the life, please don’t go around making diagnosis of people you’ve never met! Misdiagnosis aften leads to lawsuits! LOL
    _____________________

    I am not making a diagnosis, I am making an observation based on my vast experience in the field. Healthy people do not kill themselves.

  94. 94
    Sandra Rose says:

    intensemocha says:

    GAYS/LESBIANS WHO ARE NOT TRULY COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR SEXUALITY KEEP UP TOO MUCH DRAMA AND WEAR THEIR SEXUAL OREINTATION ON THEIR SLEAVE AND HAVE A TENDENCY TO HAVE TO ANNOUNCE THEIR GAY EVERY TWO SECONDS
    __________________

    :coffee:

  95. 95
    lovemiraclej says:

    wow. Some of these comments are really sad. Marsha was simply sharing an incident that actually transpired in her life and what she deemed a solution to the problem. Yes she said other people do commit suicide but chose to focus on the issue within the lgbt community. It her experience and many others that the bullying of those with alternative lifestyles is different.

    The majority of these comments talk about childhood bullying but done are talking about the adults in this video. It was an adult who pulled the child away, and it was adults who beat the male character. It is adults who see no problem with bullying, and is adults who ignore bullying when is comes to lgbt youth. This was the case in the local child who killed himself. The school/county tripped over itself denying anything had happened. This apathy is what Marsha was asking people to stop when she asked for support.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    Sandra Rose says:

    lovemiraclej says:

    It her experience and many others that the bullying of those with alternative lifestyles is different.
    _____________________

    Bullying is bullying. There is no difference. Tell that heterosexual kid who is bullied that there is a difference between him and gay kids being bullied..

  98. 98
    Anna says:

    lovemiraclej says:

    wow. Some of these comments are really sad. Marsha was simply sharing an incident that actually transpired in her life and what she deemed a solution to the problem. Yes she said other people do commit suicide but chose to focus on the issue within the lgbt community. It her experience and many others that the bullying of those with alternative lifestyles is different.

    The majority of these comments talk about childhood bullying but done are talking about the adults in this video. It was an adult who pulled the child away, and it was adults who beat the male character. It is adults who see no problem with bullying, and is adults who ignore bullying when is comes to lgbt youth.
    ~~~~~~~~~
    Most of us were commenting on what we know/past experience. The majority of us didn’t see the video. I will have to check it out when I get home.

  99. 99
    dimezz says:

    Sandra Rose says:
    Exactly! No one takes their lives because they were bullied.

    ————————————————
    Let me try to understand this….So the MILLIONS of kids that have normal home lives but get bullied in school and were too young to know that the bullying wont last forever or who were too afraid to tell an adult…those children that comitted sucide were mentally ill or depressed proir to the bullying…Im not talking about teens or grown adults…kids….REALLY.

  100. 100
    Sandra Rose says:

    dimezz says:

    Let me try to understand this….So the MILLIONS of kids that have normal home lives but get bullied in school and were too young to know that the bullying wont last forever or who were too afraid to tell an adult…those children that comitted sucide were mentally ill or depressed proir to the bullying…Im not talking about teens or grown adults…kids….REALLY.
    __________________

    Yes, really. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to understand that healthy, mentally stable children and adults do not take their own lives.

  101. 101
    Sandra Rose says:

    @ dimezz: Visit your local emergency room or mental health clinic and ask the staff how many suicides are attempted by depressed people. Then ask them how many suicides are attempted by people who are not depressed.

  102. 102
    lovemiraclej says:

    To clarify my earlier comment how straight/ heterosexual bullying is different than those with alternative lifestyles is simple. My dad told me to lose weight if i wanted to fit in, that I would grow into my looks and being smart was not a problem because my bullies would be working for me one day. What do you tell a gay kid who is not only facing problems from his/her peers as well as other outside factors. While I believe sexuality is fluid, I don’t think most people can grow out of their orientation.

    I think depression can be caused by stressors and outside factors no matter how self confident a person may be. I don’t think there is an issue in someone asking to reduce said stressors.

  103. 103
    lovemiraclej says:

    Also Sandra you are correct bullying is bullying/ hate is hate. Sometimes I think the difference is the motivation behind the bullying. We always hear that people are bullied because they appear weak and the bully needs to feel power. Yet when people are singled out because of who/what they are sometimes appears to be more vicious due to the belief that the action is justified.

  104. 104
    Sandra Rose says:

    lovemiraclej says:

    I think depression can be caused by stressors and outside factors no matter how self confident a person may be. I don’t think there is an issue in someone asking to reduce said stressors.
    ________________________

    Depression is not caused by stress. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Reducing stressors would be nice but that wouldn’t be reality. What I suggest is that the government increase funding to set up mental health programs in schools to identify those kids who may be depressed and who may be more vulnerable to bullying. As long as there are schools and children, there will be bullying and teasing. It’s a part of life whether we like it or not.

  105. 105
    Daisy says:

    Wow just wow at these comments

  106. 106
    pointhimout says:

    this may sound ignorant, but even as adults you’re bullied, so it never goes away. think your jobs, neighborhood associations, etc. it’s just another level imo. the manager who phucks with you all cuz they can? the HOA who fines you for parking your car or wrong blinds, but they or someone else can do the same thing. you complain (about the boss or HOA) and guess what, it gets worse. bullying.

    I think as adults, most people think it ends at school. It continues.

  107. 107
    Dr.GiGi says:

    We must also point out that many bullies are depressed themselves. Bullying is a coping mechanism bullies use to suppress the unresolved issues they have. I hurt so you must hurt too! It really is a vicious cycle that unfortunately will never end as there are a lot of hurt souls out here!

  108. 108
    Dr.GiGi says:

    Bullies also prey on the weak…or those perceived as such. We do have to teach our children how not to be victims of bullies who are really the ones that are off! I tell my son all the time that no one wants to taunt a non reactor…that takes the thrill out of it for them! Nevertheless, it still does not make any actions of a bully justified!

  109. 109
    Sandra Rose says:

    Dr.GiGi says:

    We must also point out that many bullies are depressed themselves. Bullying is a coping mechanism bullies use to suppress the unresolved issues they have. I hurt so you must hurt too! It really is a vicious cycle that unfortunately will never end as there are a lot of hurt souls out here!
    ________________

    Exactly. Thanks for pointing that out! I touched on this when I said bullies are bullied too. Bullies do use bullying as a cry for help because they are in so much emotional pain themselves. This is why we need mental health programs in the schools to catch problems early before these kids becomes society’s problems.

  110. 110
    heydoll says:

    …its a tuff world, sometimes there is the need to be stronger! Nothing is worth your life.

  111. 111
    Bird says:

    Sandra with all your self described mental health expertise I would have thought you would have pointed out the differance between depression, the emotion and the illness of clinical depression.

    Yes, you can become depressed by non stop bullying. By bullying I mean getting picked on regularly, mentally and or physically, for any or no reason. You know like people do to Tiny constantly on blogs. She is bullied so mercilessly on blogs that it breaks my heart. Does it lead to clinical depression? Maybe not, but does it lead to extreme sadness aka depression absolutely.

    Your point seems to be that people who kill themselves are automatically clinically depressed aka mentally ill. Where is your medical expertise to quantify that statement? You can’t get that in a mental health facility because the people there are ill not sad. Throwing your credentials around doesn’t help in this argument. You have yet to prove to me that you are an authority whose OPINION I should take as gospel on this topic

    People are saddened and traumatized by incessant bullying no matter how much they are tought to cope, love themselves, whatever. If Tiny reads this sh*t people say about her looks on blogs that sh*t hurts her and f*cks with her self esteem. I don’t care how much she pretends it doesn’t or her ability to live life to the flyest levels in spite of it.

    Bullying is not cool period and it is destructive. Your victim is not mentally ill or weak because they are hurt, traumatized and even changed on a chemical level because of constant bullying. Constant bullying is not normal no matter how often it occurs. Murder, rape, molestation and child abuse happens daily and they aren’t normal either. Their victims are traumatized. Do you think a rape or molestation victim who commits suicide or other self destructive acts were clinically depressed ahead of time? You probably do. Well I for one disagree with you wholeheartedly on this one. We should not learn to live with bullying and teach our kids to deal with it. We should fight against it and make sure that we let our kids know that it is wrong to bully anyone for any reason.

    Now I know that nothing I said will change your opinion and that’s cool, but I had to address your medical expertise comment as others might take that sh*t as gospel when its not. You are not a board certified mental health expert and working at a mental health hospital as a nurse doens’t make you one.

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