If Rihanna doesn’t care what Chris Brown did to her face, why should we?

I know I wrote that I would never mention Rihanna’s name on this blog again, but that post was written during a moment of anger and frustration.

The reality is that Rihanna, 22, is one of the most popular singers in the world right now (behind only Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Ciara – in that order).

I would be remiss if I didn’t at least acknowledge the fact that Rihanna’s ungrateful tweets has brought more traffic to my blog over the last few days than any post I’ve ever written about her.

But this post is not about Rihanna and her unintended blessings, this post is about a victim of domestic abuse who made light of a serious situation because it no longer benefits her career to play the victim.

Now, after 2 years, Rihanna’s attorney has asked a judge to modify Rihanna’s restraining order against Brown.

Why didn’t she lift the restraining order a year ago when Brown was struggling to rebuild his career?

I agree with Brown’s Stans who said Rihanna was extremely selfish and manipulative. Rihanna never hesitated to drag Chris Brown’s name across the coals when she was promoting her new album, LOUD. But now that LOUD has crossed the 3 million plateau in sales, Rihanna has a change of heart.

Brown’s plaintive weeping at the 2010 BET Awards failed to soften her heart because Rihanna had an album to promote. She couldn’t care less about him or his career.

The fact that Rihanna took to her Twitter page last week and tweeted that her fans didn’t care about a restraining order, she missed the point entirely: some of her fans do care about a restraining order — especially the ones who still suffer at the hands of their violent abusers.

By making light of a tool put in place to protect victims of domestic abuse, Rihanna empowers abusers and discourages other domestic abuse victims from seeking protection and speaking out about their hurt and pain.

Rihanna has done her fans a great disservice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqAfByd0CgA kingstonn

omg… Auntie.. noooooo.
FABULOSALAKER

AY SANDRITA U COULDN’T STAY AWAY FROM HER HUH?? AND YES IF CHICK IS OVER IT WHY SHOULD WE TRIP HER FACE HER BEAT DOWN HER HEARTBREAK AND HER FUKN DECISION!!
CFREE

Omg, really? we still gonna keep talking about this. Talk about beating a dead horse
http://twitter.com/eastpointvet eastpointvet

i dont think anyone cares about the restraining order itself. if they start kicking it again thats a different story.
jUsTiAra

Soooo…. That vow to never talk about rihanna lasted all but 48 hours #childBOO!
http://twitter.com/_imOther_ Mamacita

Awwwwwwww come on now Sandra…

I haven’t even read the post but putting that big a*s picture up there is just not right! Come ON NOW! I know you may not like her now but that’s just going waaaaaaaay too far.

SMH
Thetruth32

If you wanted to talk about domestic abuse then fine, why you puttin Rihanna in it….. You know she don’t care so move on. Highlight someone that care about domestic abuse that is trying to get the message across. I see your feelin still hurting from her words on twitter.
bnatural

I’m shocked.
http://twitter.com/eastpointvet eastpointvet

haha i just noticed you put her behind ciara
http://twitter.com/_imOther_ Mamacita

Sandra you act like the order was going to last FOREVER. It would’ve been lifted eventually anyway right?

He’s not a threat to her now so what’s the problem?

I think he has learned his lesson and isn’t going to risk ruining his career again. He may be immature but he’s not an idiot.
Thetruth32

aww CFREE thanks for puttin up my man Andre 3000. Happy Valentine’s Day everyday is the 14th
bnatural

Wait a minute….. “The reality is that Rihanna, 22, is one of the most popular singers in the world right now (behind only Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Ciara – in that order)” <<<<<<<<How did I miss this?!?!?…Sandra REALLY!

I get Sandra's message regarding Domestic violence but this is just too much.
http://pearlswindow.com Carrington

I have issue with this entire post for a number of reasons, but to save time and space, I’ll just hit the two that disturb me the most:

Sandrarose says,

“…this post is not about Rihanna and her unintended blessings, this post is about a victim of domestic abuse who made light of a serious situation because it no longer benefits her career to play the victim.”

Carrington says,

I don’t (and neither do you) believe that Rihanna is “making light” of HER serious situation – my personal belief is that she’s unwilling to hold on to the stifling negativity that binds you when you continue to hold grudges and refuse to let go. It’s been two years, it’s possible that TIME has healed Rihanna’s wounds and as a victim of abuse, and to that I say, “More power to her!” – this is a double-edged sword, she’s damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. You have people on the opposite end of the spectrum who champion that, “as a victim, it’s in your best interest to go on with your life and not let your abuser continue to bind you”…

There are people who have had family members murdered and they’ve forgiven the murderer, if they can move on… why can’t Rihanna? Forgiving somebody and moving on is totally different than moving on WITH the person who violated you.

I’ve forgiven my abuser, but I don’t send Christmas cards…

If SHE can let go… you should too.

Sandrarose says,

“The reality is that Rihanna, 22, is one of the most popular singers in the world right now (behind only Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Ciara – in that order).”

Carrington says, Clearly you’re back on the Cici payroll, cause not even CIARA believes that.
http://www.ehow.com/members/carmensjones.html Brownsugar1908

@Sandra You make a valid point. When I first read the tweet I thought the same as you. Of course her fans would care especially those that had experienced or were still experiencing an abusive relationship. Some men are plan crazy and are plotting ways to still touture these women after the restaining order. I don’t think Chris Brown will, but there are some evil men (and women) that have problems letting go and would kill the woman so she can’t be with anyone else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gq0sRCrcPg YSoSerious

@ Carrington

at this chit. Again.
Genia

Sandra!! SMH!!!! why on God’s earth would you post this picture of this woman’s battered face and then cloak your true intent behind a Domestic Violence service announcement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWrKEZYUJ6Q Ace

where is the Vday party…

Auntie done scattered us all over…
http://pearlswindow.com Carrington

@ YSoSerious,

Good mornin’, poo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gq0sRCrcPg YSoSerious

@Carrington

How did you know Winnie the Pooh is my most favorite character?

(gives you a genuine Tigger-fur hat for Valem-times day) :hugs:
Destinee

Sandra, Did it ever occur to you that she didn’t want you to continue putting up that picture of her and keep bringing up stuff that she is trying to move past. I hate when someone continues to bring up a situation that I am trying to move past just so THEY can make a point. You continue to show that picture that is obvious something she didnt authorize for others to see in the first place. Sandra I think you should be a little more sensative to what she is asking you to do. That is move on from it. How can she move on when the media CONTINUES to bring it up. Yeah domestic abuse is not something that should be ignored and in this case I dont think it was, but at some point she has to get over it and move one. That is what we would be telling the average women a year after it happened to her. Have a heart Sandra, and stop posting that picture of her.
Fated4Greatness

Its sad that you keep posting on this, specifically posting that picture of her face…its just tasteless. Why are you upset that she chose to forgive instead of carrying around ill feelings for the rest of her life….like you seem to do.

Im not down playing domestic violence, Ive witnessed it before and it is a serious situation. Rihanna made her choice to lift the order..plain and simple. The world still goes continues. Did you think about the victims of domestic violence that visit your blog?? You probably bring them back to a unfortunate time in their life every time you post that picture.
Nicksocrazy

Sandra, even tho you mean well you have got to move on and leave that behind you, just like Rihanna did.I’M sure she will never forget what he did to her but she obviously has moved on.
http://pearlswindow.com Carrington

I’ve got a question for Sandra;

If you are TRULY championing VICTIMS rights, and most victims continue to be abused for years before they develop a sense of self worth (if ever) and remove themselves from those situations, then you know that a lot of that comes from a lack of self esteem, or being beaten down mentally and physically which puts you in a place where you HAVE to continue the “trend”…

If that’s the case with Rihanna, what part of the game is it for a victim’s rights advocate such as yourself, to call the VICTIM a b*tch and then attempt to destroy HER in the media because YOU don’t agree with her decision?

HUMAN decency 101 dictates that, as someone who “cares” you should never beat the victim emotionally for going back to the abuser… what part of the advocacy game is this?
sugar.honey.iced.tea

All of this over a bruised ego Sandra? How very small.

@Carrington
Genia

Carrington!!! Well said!!! Well Said!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWrKEZYUJ6Q Ace

@Carrington

I must admit you know how to drop some knowledge
http://twitter.com/_imOther_ Mamacita

What I have a problem with is people trying to tell her how to run her life. Especially people who have never been in her situation. If SHE is willing to let go then who are WE to tell her she can’t? Seriously?

Aren’t people on here always preaching about forgiveness?

STFU please.

And her decision has NOTHING to do with any other domestic violence victim. It’s HER own choice about HER life.

GTFOHWTBS
babygirlcaramel

I have to agree wholeheartedly…posting this image can not only trigger those bad situations up for past abuse victims (such as myself) but it makes u look like a hypocrite based on the things u said following the photo. U can hate dislike or disagree with who u want but why not fight fair. Why not let her make her decisions…remember she is the one who has to live with them. Her forgiving Chris or even speaking to him again should have no effect on u. U were not the one abused.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gq0sRCrcPg YSoSerious

Sandra knows EXACTLY what she is doing with this post.
Danielle

Oh goodness! This is just too much. Let it go already.
Tatted Diva

OMG Sandra. Sometimes you really go to far. You pretend to be this nonchalant, never phased by anything type woman/blogger but in fact, you are bitter. You constantly have issues with anyone who either do not agree with your opinion or challenge it in anyway! GROW UP! And you know what I feel the funniest thing about you happens to be? You love to throw up unflattering pics of anyone you find more attractive than you, but I have yet to see a picture of you that your face is not covered hidden behind something or someone. If you find this pill to be even remotely bitter, then ban me!
BruhMan5th Flr

If that’s the case with Rihanna, what part of the game is it for a victim’s rights advocate such as yourself, to call the VICTIM a b*tch and then attempt to destroy HER in the media because YOU don’t agree with her decision?

HUMAN decency 101 dictates that, as someone who “cares” you should never beat the victim emotionally for going back to the abuser… what part of the advocacy game is this?
_________________________________________________________________________

*Church Voice* “Well”
momo

@Carrington – Well said. I totally agree.

EVERYONE, please don’t waste your good words for Sandra. She will continue to bring up this situation over and over again on her blog no matter what anyone says. To me she’s bitter. Domestic violence is a serious case (in the immature broadcast you decided to post), and no matter what you think Sandra, you deserved the response you got. You went on a twitter rant and basically degraded her. Like us, celebrities are human, too. They get fed up with shyt. Its her life, her decision, her mouth to tell it. GET OVER IT.
Jewelz1027

@Carrington…I was going to post but you’ve said it ALL and WELL!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y-TOnZHo-o CINNA

I agree 100% w/Sandra! Rihanna’s Ego has taken a turn 4da worst nowadays
http://pearlswindow.com Carrington

CINNA says:

I agree 100% w/Sandra! Rihanna’s Ego has taken a turn 4da worst nowadays
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These kind of responses always tickle the $hit out of me.

Question: What was Rihanna’s ego like POST “nowadays” and how many times have you met and dealt with her and her ego SINCE then?

Rihanna barely says a word, all you ever see are pictures of her… where is her “ego” worst (sic)? Everyone I know who knows, or has met Rihanna has said you would never think she’s “the” Rihanna because she talks to EVERYBODY and treats everyone like she’s known them forever.
Lady_L

Fated4Greatness says:

Its sad that you keep posting on this, specifically posting that picture of her face…its just tasteless. Why are you upset that she chose to forgive instead of carrying around ill feelings for the rest of her life….like you seem to do.

Im not down playing domestic violence, Ive witnessed it before and it is a serious situation. Rihanna made her choice to lift the order..plain and simple. The world still goes continues. Did you think about the victims of domestic violence that visit your blog?? You probably bring them back to a unfortunate time in their life every time you post that picture.
———————————————————–
@Carrington – Well said. I totally agree.

EVERYONE, please don’t waste your good words for Sandra. She will continue to bring up this situation over and over again on her blog no matter what anyone says. To me she’s bitter. Domestic violence is a serious case (in the immature broadcast you decided to post), and no matter what you think Sandra, you deserved the response you got. You went on a twitter rant and basically degraded her. Like us, celebrities are human, too. They get fed up with shyt. Its her life, her decision, her mouth to tell it. GET OVER IT.

————————————————————————
mtsmith4125

Wow Sandra! Not cool….
trallen75

I bet Rihanna and Chris will be hanging in the same circles very soon.
I Run New York

WE HAVE TO CARE. I know domestic violence victims can be incredibly frustrating, I worked at a DA’s office in New York. They rarely report the abuse, they don’t want to press charges or cooperate, and they don’t act in their best interest. I have seen women with the most gruesome injuries (bullet woods, bitten off ear, branded all over her body) who won’t cooperate so we have no choice but to drop the charges. That does not mean the woman beater should be praised and supported and get a pass on their conduct. What ever you do Sandra please don’t start supporting chris, he’s an animal with serious entitlement issues. Domestic violence damages you psychologically, you don’t act in your best interest as a result. You can’t blame the victim, they are a victim. Rihanna is damaged and not thinking straight.
Lyssa02

You know what annoys me sometimes with these blogs? People act like celebrities aren’t human. Like they are somehow immune to the hurtful crap people say. No disrespect, but Sandra went after the girl and called her down and disrespected her. WTH ya’ll expected???!! If someone is attacking me I’m not gon sit and take it so why should she??!!!

Get it together people!
Danie_Greeneyes

“The reality is that Rihanna, 22, is one of the most popular singers in the world right now (behind only Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Ciara – in that order).”

Word Sandra? Rihanna is behind Ciara in popularity . LMBO, your feelings are still crushed huh? SMDH
leat

WOW!!! ur really pissed at her. at least you get paid for such antics. she’s human for crying out loud