Pop singer Rihanna seems to be at a crossroads in her life. After releasing her first single, "Pon De Replay," at the tender age of 17, she has worked nonstop on the road touring to support her 7 albums. Her hawt body and keen fashion sense draws stares and compliments from males and females alike. But her infamous temper and personality disorders have combined to make her the loneliest girl in the world -- literally.
To promote her platinum album, LOUD, Rihanna's camp hatched an idea to bring a widely read urban blogger out on the road with her to document Rihanna's life behind the scenes.
The blogger was one of Rihanna's personal favorites (if not her most favorite). Rihanna once told a label exec that reading this blogger was one of her guilty pleasures. She confessed that she was "turned on by the negativity" even as she railed against it publicly.
So when that blogger turned down Def Jam's all expenses paid invite to join RiRi on tour, Rihanna took the rejection very hard.
At age 23, Robyn Rihanna Fenty is chronically single, desperately lonely and wealthy beyond her wildest dreams. Her friends -- including her ever-present and calming life force, Melissa -- are all bought and paid for with some of Rihanna's millions.
It is on this backdrop of despair, loneliness and fear that Rolling Stone magazine paints a raw, revealing look at Rihanna's personality disorders, hidden demons, and her life after Chris Brown.
On the cover of this week's Rolling Stone (on newsstands Friday (April 1st), Rihanna looks disapprovingly over her shoulder at photographer Mark Seliger's camera. She wears delicately tattered, barely there shorts made of a fragile material called chainmail -- tiny metal squares inked together to form clothing that looks almost painted on.
She told her 4 million followers on Twitter.com that before she put the shorts on she had to heat up the cold metal links with a blow dryer.
"I hate the sound of metal on metal. And if something isn't even, it weirds me out – like if my girlfriend hits me on the right side of my butt, it feels numb on the left," Rihanna says, revealing her obsessive compulsive disorder for the first time. She admits to habitually cracking her knuckles and she's a compulsive boob-grabber.
On lifting the restraining order against Brown:
"That's my decision It doesn't mean we're gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn't want to object to the judge. We don't have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn't want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did to me was a personal thing – it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can't perform at awards shows – that definitely made it difficult for him. That was the only thing it was going to change, so I didn't care. But you can never please people. One minute I'm being too hard, and the next minute I'm a fool because I'm not being hard enough."
On her song "S&M" and experimenting obsessively with sex toys:
"I like to take charge, but I love to be submissive. Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That's sexy to me. I work a lot, and I have to make a lot of executive decisions, so when it comes to being intimate, I like to feel like I'm somebody's girl."
"I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop [and go] get the whip from the drawer downstairs. . . . I'd rather have him use his hands."
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On being a masochist and enjoying inflicting pain on herself (she has 14 tattoos):
"I do think I'm a bit of a masochist. It's not something I'm proud of, and it's not something I noticed until recently. I think it's common for people who witness abuse in their household. They can never smell how beautiful a rose is unless they get pricked by a thorn."
On her first kiss (and why she doesn't like to kiss her male and female sex partners now):
"My first kiss was in high school, and it was the worst thing ever. He pretty much dumped his entire saliva glands into my mouth. It traumatized me. I didn't kiss for, like, ever."