Clinical depression occurs when an individual is unable to cope with their feelings of overwhelming sadness, hopelessness and despair. They often rely on suicidal ideations as a crutch to help them cope with depression. Once they make the decision to commit suicide, they will give the outward appearance of being happy and at peace. By that time it is too late to save them.

There are some in the black community who don't believe that depression is a serious mental illness. According to Mental Health America, African Americans are particularly at risk for clinical depression, but we are the least likely to seek therapy due to the stigma and myths surrounding the disease.

If your child mentions that he or she is depressed -- even once -- this is a bad sign. They probably summoned all the courage they had in them to approach you. It may be the only time they will come to you with their problem before attempting suicide.

Your response is crucial. Do not dismiss your child with bad advice such as "Get over it" or "We all get the blues, it'll pass." It won't pass.

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. For that reason, depression sufferers can't just "get over it" without intervention such as medication (anti-depressants) and therapy.

As black people, we must reject the belief that depression is a sign of weakness, or the lack of Jesus in our lives.

If you are unable to support your child emotionally due to your unfounded beliefs about clinical depression, please call a friend, or a crisis intervention group to support and provide the mental health resources that he needs.

There should be more of an emphasis on clinical depression today due to the high profile cases of gay teen suicides in the news. But sadly there isn't.

It's a shame that the national media continues to provide a disservice to their audience by claiming gay teens kill themselves because they were bullied or outed. In reality, gay teens kill themselves because they suffer from undiagnosed depression.

Clinical depression can affect anyone regardless of race, gender, age, creed or income. Recognizing the signs of depression in teens is crucial because they are not equipped to handle the stress that adults experience in their day to day lives.

For a depressed teen, even the slightest setback can lead to suicidal thoughts and intense emotional pain. They may believe that death is their only outlet and they see suicide as a form of release from their psychological captivity.

Here are the Signs and Symptoms to look for in depressed teens

  • A persistent sad, anxious or “empty” mood, or excessive crying
  • Sleeping too much or too little, insomnia, early-morning waking
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in favorite activities
  • Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased appetite and weight gain
  • Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Decreased energy, fatigue, feeling “slowed down”
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism
  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

It is very important that you listen to your child -- or any child -- who expresses feelings of depression, hopelessness and helplessness. They came to you after studying you for a while and they trust you. They determined that you are the most likely person to listen to them. If you dismiss them, they will feel all hope is lost. Your rejection could be the final straw that pushes them over the edge.

If you feel your child is in crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK to find mental health resources in your area.

This has been your medical minute.

Info on the web

Suicide Hotlines - Georgia Suicide and Crisis

Mental Health Resources - FindCounseling

Depression and African Americans - Mental Health America

Black and Blue: Depression Among African Americans - USNews

Depression in the Black Community - Newsone

Depression: The Black Community’s Dirty Little Secret - Black Enterprise

DISCLAIMER

Any medical information published on this blog is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice and you should not take any action before consulting with your personal physician or a health care provider.

  • FoxE

    Depression is a serious matter. I know from watching the effects on a person...

    But the Kevin Durant photo Sandra? :lol: Go to the :kona: Now!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Sandra I am highly offended that you would use this photo

  • http://www.twitter.com/cocoabana Cocoabana

    "As black people, we must reject the belief that depression is a sign of weakness, or the lack of Jesus in our lives."

    :blink:

    I'd rather have Jesus in my life than a whole bunch of unnecessary
    medications that will only make my condition worse.

  • GAGIRL87

    Thanks for the postive post Sandy :claps: and I agree depression in the black community is running rampant. I can't help but to think of the chick who killed herself and those poor babies...

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLYbDg242EY&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1 His_Mommy623

    ion be depressed but thanks for the medical minute :thumbsup:

  • CFREE

    I like the msg ur going for here, but um what da hail this pic got to do with it :blink:

  • CFREE

    HIS! :danban1: WAT IT DO MA?

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Cocoabana says:

    I’d rather have Jesus in my life than a whole bunch of unnecessary
    medications that will only make my condition worse.
    __________________

    Please keep your unfounded beliefs and misguided opinions to yourself. This is not the post for that. :nono:

  • Erica

    :claps: Good job Auntie. :claps:

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    GAGIRL87 says:

    Thanks for the postive post Sandy :claps: and I agree depression in the black community is running rampant. I can't help but to think of the chick who killed herself and those poor babies...
    _______________

    You're welcome hun.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLYbDg242EY&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1 His_Mommy623

    *stanky legs on CFREEs desk* hey bewski! :yahoo:

  • change

    Taking anti-depressants f*&k you up more, you'll feel better but in the next year your liver, kidney, spleen will be gone, and you will have the side effects of glucoma, heart disease, gout, and lost of sexual drive...I know depression is serious, but wouldn't these side effects make you want to kill yourself as well.

    If gay teen suffer from depression it seems (not a doctor) it would be do to not being accepted for who they are. People preceptions of others can really do a mind f*&k on you. Be too busy trying to make someone else happy and comfortable at your own detriment. As my partner says: "They talked about Jesus"...

    #goingbacktolurkmode

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    CFREE and HISSSS hey ladies...

    Thanks Sandra for this post - I used to suffer from depression really bad in my teens and my mom was not the solution - I did get over it but I also took matters into my own hands... Let's just say my relationship with GOD worked best in my case.

    A former friend of mine's son came to her this year and actually told her he wanted to commit suicide becuz she is always mean to him and it's not an overstatement the way she communicates with her kids is by yelling at them - it bothered me so much that I would take breaks in our friendship - I asked her what did she say - she said she put him in therapy - now being a former depressed person myself she missed the real message behind what he was saying and again I felt hopeless - I just pray she wakes up before he is unable to....

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLYbDg242EY&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1 His_Mommy623

    hey Choc :waves:

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    change says:

    Taking anti-depressants f*&k you up more, you’ll feel better but in the next year your liver, kidney, spleen will be gone, and you will have the side effects of glucoma, heart disease, gout, and lost of sexual drive…I know depression is serious, but wouldn’t these side effects make you want to kill yourself as well.
    _________________

    I know children and adults who have taken antidepressants for years and they don't have any of these side effects that you describe. :nono:

  • change

    @choco,

    did you ever get a chance to tell her? That's sad about her son, his problem was her...Sometimes people don't know what they are doing, and the impact it has on other people especially our children. I

  • http://www.twitter.com/cocoabana Cocoabana

    Please keep your unfounded beliefs and misguided opinions to yourself. This is not the post for that.

    ----------

    Child please.

    freedom of speech?
    –noun
    the right of people to express their opinions publicly without governmental interference, subject to the laws against libel, incitement to violence or rebellion, etc.

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Choco aka Hippie says:

    Thanks Sandra for this post – I used to suffer from depression really bad in my teens and my mom was not the solution – I did get over it but I also took matters into my own hands… Let’s just say my relationship with GOD worked best in my case.
    ________________

    I'm happy that you found the help that worked best for you. :)

  • witeboi52

    @ Sandra

    Thanks for this article Depression is a silent killer and effects us all no matter your race.

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    witeboi52 says:

    @ Sandra

    Thanks for this article Depression is a silent killer and effects us all no matter your race.
    _________________

    You're welcome, hun. Thanks for reading! :)

  • change

    @sandra,

    Wait a couple of more years. I see lots of commericals from lawyers saying if a family member took zoloft (and other Anti-dep.)and suffer from these side effects call us.....

    I'm not saying that antidepressants do not work however it only a bandage for the real problem and I personally don't think it's good to be only any prescription for "years" too much of anything can be bad for you. In the end it seems like it does more harm then good.

  • Feline Feminine

    :applause:
    Sandra, I’m so glad you posted this…I get sick to death of black folks saying “just get over it…” or “everyone has problems..” or “give it to God…”. Although all these things may be true, it does NOT help a depressed person AT ALL!

  • bnatural

    I’d rather have Jesus in my life than a whole bunch of unnecessary
    medications that will only make my condition worse.

    ----------------------

    I agree with this.

    Anyway, I couldn't watch the last 2 minutes of the OT. It was so disappointing BUT it's a learning lesson. The Dallas Mavericks will be the first to tell you the road the finals is NOT easy. They have struggled in the playoffs since making it to the finals in 2006, I think. They are really earning their spot in the Championship game.

    I still like Chicago but I'm not dumb, it's clearly going to be a Mavericks-Heat rematch and I'm pulling for the Mavericks. Jason Kidd, this is your year to get that ring.

  • lola773

    Kicking people when they are down also leads to thoughts of helplessness. Too much bullying going on by people who themselves are depressed.

  • change

    Sorry in advance for the book: but.....this is just from zoloft

    COMMON side effects persist or become bothersome when using Zoloft:

    Anxiety; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; increased sweating; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; stomach upset; tiredness; trouble sleeping; vomiting; weight loss.

    Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Zoloft:
    Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased bladder control; decreased concentration; decreased coordination; exaggerated reflexes; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; hallucinations; memory loss; new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; persistent or severe ringing in the ears; persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression.

  • montcham

    Thanks Sandra,

    I was told by my cuz, that "we" dont take meds for depression and that I was Coo-coo. Glad I didnt let that stigma stop me from getting both the medication and therapy I so desperately needed back then!

  • Feline Feminine

    @Coco
    I’d rather have Jesus in my life than a whole bunch of unnecessary
    medications that will only make my condition worse.
    __
    Why can’t someone have both Jesus and earthly help? I always try to tell people this (because I went through a severe depression and I considered suicide)…when someone is sick mentally you cannot place ointment or a bandage on it to heal it…you cannot see it or observe how deep the wound is…it’s just THERE and no one understands how bad it hurts. The cure for depression does not always involve meds. The meds only help with the symptoms, but it is up to the sick person to seek out spiritual ways to ground themselves once the symptoms go away…So I always say it is necessary to have Jesus and medication/therapy if you are depressed…

  • Mr.BluPhi

    "As black people, we must reject the belief that depression is a sign of weakness, or the lack of Jesus in our lives."

    Although I strongly believe that prayer changes things, I also understand the need to have issues examined by a professional. BUT, I have a cousin (shut up..LOL) that was diagnosed with some type of depression, and was given different pills in which none of them worked. What did work was her being able to talk to her family and friends about everything, and having a strong support system. She did talk to a psychiatrist or whatever, but that wasn't what helped her deal with the depression.

  • http://twitter.com/candyrayne215 spongebobfan

    LMAO :lmao: just seeing the headline with that photo is PRICELESS, i dont have no beef with team, but thats comedy HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • CFREE

    @CHOCO, HEY DAHLIN' :waves:
    #LATE

  • FoxE

    change says:

    @sandra,

    Wait a couple of more years. I see lots of commericals from lawyers saying if a family member took zoloft (and other Anti-dep.)and suffer from these side effects call us…..

    I’m not saying that antidepressants do not work however it only a bandage for the real problem and I personally don’t think it’s good to be only any prescription for “years” too much of anything can be bad for you. In the end it seems like it does more harm then good.
    ____________________________

    I think it depends on the person and the medication. Some of the medicine back in the day was more likely to work then instead of now.

    Someone in my family was depressed and took the necessary meds and steps to cure the depression. She actually had to ween sp? herself off of the meds because after the therapy was complete she started to see the rainbow and no longer needed the meds. She didn't have the side effects then.. but now its different... We think its from the meds, but who knows :shrugs:

  • Mr.BluPhi

    Last thing, the reason why so many people say "give it to GOD" or "pray about it" is because we all probably know someone who was told by a doctor that they would not make it, and survived for a lot longer than expected. And the doctors themselves can't explain why...

  • http://www.twitter.com/cocoabana Cocoabana

    @ Feline, I respect your opinion and understand that sprituality and medication may help for some individuals (such as yourself) however, I have only been in contact with people where medication worsened their condition.

  • Mr.BluPhi

    And the world is too dependent on medication. Depression isn't a new trend, and it didn't just become an issue, but ppl believe so much that if a doctor prescribes it, it must work.

    I STRONGLY believe those SAM-e Pills are placebos. I'll save my reasons on why I believe this.

  • 2cents

    I SUFFERED FROM SELF DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION, WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE GAVE ME CYMBALTA. I WAS VERY TIRED GOT UP THRU THE NIGHT RUNNING INTO WALLS AND KEPT HEARING VOICES, NEEDLESS TO SAY I STOP TAKING IT AFTER TWO WEEKS AND NOW I FEEL GREAT.

  • SnootyPooty

    EXCELLENT write up Sandra!!!!! Depression is real and should be addressed as soon as it is detected.

  • ThatsNic2u

    Good Info... but the pic :|

  • ELove

    Ahhhh Ms. Sandra...
    ANY Type of Man-Made/Mass Manufactured Medicine that ISN'T ALL NATURAL has side affects (Real...)

    The MEDICAL Industry (As A WHOLE...) ain't trying to CURE Anybody of Anything... THEIR MOTIVE IS collecting Long-Standing Customers JUST LIKE Crack-Dealers collect Crack-Addicts :yes:

    The MORE People they can get hooked on some form of Medicine, The MORE MONEY they can make... I've SEEN Some People with anywhere from 5 to 12 different bottles of pills that were all prescribed by A DOCTOR :blink:

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Blu
    That's because alot of doctors practice educated guessing........

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Snoots I like you but I dont wanna see you right now!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Snoots I like you but I dont wanna see you right now!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Good post but the drugs they administer for it :nono:

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    change says:

    @sandra,

    Wait a couple of more years. I see lots of commericals from lawyers saying if a family member took zoloft (and other Anti-dep.)and suffer from these side effects call us…..
    _______________

    You're taking the word of lying, ambulance chasing lawyers over a registered nurse who has worked in this field for over 22 years? I took antidepressants for almost an entire decade, and as I said, I know children and adults who have taken antidepressants without debilitating side effects. You are wrong, but you're welcome to your opinions.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Lolita send me your picture I need to see you and not that dayum gravi. You should have my email address :coffee:

  • http://myspace.com/foxybrown411 LADYWOODS

    Sandra,

    Excellent post. Mental illness is a HUGE problem in our community. Our stigma with seeking therapy and taking medication does not help the problem. My daughter suffers from ADHD and takes ritalin.Her whole family told me she didn't need it and so did some of my family who i thought would be on my side. Needless to say she went from being a d and f student to an a and b student. The medicine helps and we as black people need to understand that some people need help.

  • Feline Feminine

    @coco
    Very true, medication can make some people worse, but that’s why most of the time medication should be accompanied with psycho-therapy AND seeking spiritual growth. I don’t believe in the notion of just medicating folks and sending them on their way, but I know from my own experience that it was easier said than done when folks said “oh just let it go!” Like Sandra’s article said, the mind is sick and has a chemical imbalance when people are unable to move on and let things go…so telling them to do something they are unable to do is like telling a child that got molested to just “walk it off…” Not trying to be funny or insensitive, but that’s really how it feels and no one seems to care that you are dealing with something very damaging and hurtful that is eating up your soul…

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Feline Feminine says:

    :applause:
    Sandra, I’m so glad you posted this…I get sick to death of black folks saying “just get over it…” or “everyone has problems..” or “give it to God…”. Although all these things may be true, it does NOT help a depressed person AT ALL!
    ________________

    You're welcome, hun. Thanks for reading. :yes:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Honey please do no hate on Carl The Tooth

  • SnootyPooty

    There are many treatments out there to assist with depression. Depression isn't something that has been made up its serious and real. Maybe some people can get over it by talking to a counselor/psychologist/psychiatrist or maybe some people need both meds and professional health.

    Depression wasn’t just discovered like Christopher Columbus discovered the new world this mental disease has been around.

    We hear stories all the time about people killing their families due to depression if taking it out with a friend was the answer so many deaths wouldn’t have occurred as a result of depression.

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Change
    Sadly she is not the type of person one can really get thru to - she has a lot of anger issues and instead of her getting help and taking control of it - she just gets worse - Im not friends with her any longer didn't like the energy she brought into my life

    Hey Blu you shouted me out in another post

  • change

    @foxe

    yes, I definitely think it depends on the person. Even tho' I'm kind've of young I'm always weary about "new" drugs that help this and that and a couple of years later come to find out it's not good for you. I think they work and benefit many people in positive ways. I personally just think it's a bandage for a bigger problem. Some people just want to heard, and accepted as is. Also life is not meant to be lived the way that it is being lived, we live in stressful times, and instead of people coming up with a solution, they make another drug to help you be more acceptable with dysfunction. **Again these are just my opinions,I'm not in any way saying people shouldn't do what works for them in their personal lives***

  • http://vimeo.com/17630990 LaTechGrad02

    Thank you Sandra. I'm currently in therapy for depression and anxiety related to a medical condition. I'm not on medication and I wish that others realized that depression does not always equal medication.

    Depression and getting treatment in the black community has been so taboo for so many years. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone to find ways to cope and sometimes medication does help. I wish that people wouldn't generalize the effectiveness of medication, as with any medication, it's not for everyone. There are other methods to treat depression.

    I wish there wasn't such a stigma in our community, maybe more people would reach out for help instead of being made to feel ashamed until they feel that suicide or death is the only way out.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    :rolleyes:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    :rolleyes:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    I think different options work for different individuals there is no cookie cutter fix to all

  • Tatted Diva

    :kiss: - Hey Choco....LONG TIME NO SPEAK! HOW YOU'SE DOING?

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Change
    I don't trust all these new drugs out here either becuz of sides effect and I doubt they are doing studies on the drug long enough to produce a real finding

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    change says:

    Sorry in advance for the book: but…..this is just from zoloft

    COMMON side effects persist or become bothersome when using Zoloft:
    _______________

    ALL medications have side effects! That doesn't mean you will experience any -- and most people don't experience side effects. Have you read the side effects of Tylenol or Aspirin lately? Here they are.

    TYLENOL SIDE EFFECTS
    Seek medical attention right away if any of these SEVERE side effects occur when using Tylenol:
    Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); dark urine; difficulty urinating or inability to urinate; fast or irregular heartbeat; hallucinations; mood or mental changes; pale stools; seizures; severe drowsiness; severe or persistent dizziness, nervousness, lightheadedness, or headache; severe or persistent trouble sleeping; stomach pain; tremor; vision changes; yellowing of skin or eyes; liver failure, kidney failure, death.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Choco aka Hippie says:
    I think different options work for different individuals there is no cookie cutter fix to all
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I agree Choco

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Ladywoods
    My son is an A/B student and they tried to prescribe him adderall saying that he was too full of energy. I didn't make him take it because he's an active young boy and it seems to me they were just trying to sedate him. I never had any issues with the school about him disrupting class or noting like that. He's still an A/B student but now he's old enough to participate in sports that use up alot of that energy....

  • SnootyPooty

    @Brown... I love you too xoxoxoxo

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    montcham says:

    Thanks Sandra,

    I was told by my cuz, that “we” dont take meds for depression and that I was Coo-coo. Glad I didnt let that stigma stop me from getting both the medication and therapy I so desperately needed back then!
    _________________

    :applause:

  • Feline Feminine

    I think different options work for different individuals there is no cookie cutter fix to all
    __
    :cosign:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    AWESOME
    they said my nephew had ADD and wanted to put him onmeds but my brother in law said no and put him in sports and he had 2 weeks out the yr that were free and his lil azz got into mor trouble those 2 weeks! LOL
    But since he was busy with sports I guess it worked because he's fine now and he's 24 but his son is 10 TIMES more active that he is!

    #payback

  • ELove

    Ms. Sandra (Comment #58)
    I DON'T EVEN TAKE ASPIRIN !!! :rofl:

  • Anna

    lola773 says:

    Kicking people when they are down also leads to thoughts of helplessness. Too much bullying going on by people who themselves are depressed.
    ~~~~~~~~~~
    That was my thought. As Choco wrote about the mom yelling at the kid. Kids are being bullied by their parents, add that along w/the parents DNA, some kids don't stand a chance of getting better. Choco It would be interesting to find out that the mom did not have to sit in some of the sessions w/her child.

  • change

    @Sandra,

    I can't be wrong with an opinion, it is an opinion, just like you think C-Error is star that is an opinion, not necessarily a right or wrong fact. Once again I did not say all I said SOME. I looked on Zoloft's own website and got the side effects if it didn't occur then they would not have it posted. Does it happen to all NO, some yes. We are all entitled to our thoughts... which I stated at the end of my comment.
    Futhermore I did not take the 'word" of anyone I stated what I see. Once again if no one experience these things it wouldn't be a market for ambulance chasing lawyers.

  • Cha Chillin

    Sandrita .... Did I miss something :thinking: What happen to my MM on Lap Band

  • Feline Feminine

    @change
    I’ve heard some pretty fcked up things about Zoloft and Paxil. I actually took Lexapro and while it was helping me with my symptoms I actively sought spiritual healing and fulfillment….I was only on the medication for 6 months because I got help outside of the medicine. But, I cannot deny that the medicine really helped me focus on the root of the problem and that was lack of self-love…

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Brown
    That's what I'm talking about. My son wasn't a nuisance, he was just a ball of energy. I thought most all kids were energetic because they are kids. :shrug: It takes for me to be damned near dead to consider taking meds for anything..... Also, you don't know if the doctor you see is an exceptional doctor or a just barely passed doctor. The plaques look the same......

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Anna
    His mother isn't prepared for what she will find out about herself and how she parents - its not just me that shakes their head at her - her sister her man when she had one - her aunts I mean she's loud and obnoxious miserable and just rude - I tried to remain her friend becuz I knew the hurt she was dealing with but I don't like her energy that she brings its dark - this fool went and got some pen pal she writing to in the PEN doing 30 years for murder - got his effn name tatted on her - she hasn't ever had sex with him - is marrying a immigrant for money and talks to him like chit in front of people SHE's UGLY INSIDE

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Cha Chillin says:
    Sandrita …. Did I miss something What happen to my MM on Lap Band
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I was thinking that, Brown asked about last week right?
    Oh and hello Cha-Cha

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    2cents says:

    I SUFFERED FROM SELF DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION, WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE GAVE ME CYMBALTA. I WAS VERY TIRED GOT UP THRU THE NIGHT RUNNING INTO WALLS AND KEPT HEARING VOICES, NEEDLESS TO SAY I STOP TAKING IT AFTER TWO WEEKS AND NOW I FEEL GREAT.
    ______________

    As with all antidepressants, it takes time to find the right one that works best for you.

  • SnootyPooty

    Drug companies have to list all side effects even if it affected a small percentage of people who were studied its a requirement by the FDA......

    If one person is affected in the study group its listed so just because meds have side effects doesn't mean it will effect you.

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    the problem and that was lack of self-love…
    ___________________
    Really glad you found that out - it's like the best thing that could happen to you when you realize it and then it's like damn dummmy to self :lol:

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    OHoney says:

    Good post but the drugs they administer for it :nono:
    ________________

    I hear Abilify is excellent, as is low dose Remeron.

  • change

    I have not heard or do not know of anyone who is on a daily prescription of Tyenol or Advil (once again I don't know does not mean it does not exist) it even says on the bottle not for prolonged use. (not to be confused with asipirn bayer or some equilevent for heart patients since we being all technical and stuff)

    Once again Sandra whatever help people get through their problems is what works I just stated my opinion. I'm saying what others are saying but it seems you only jump down peoples throats you disagree with your OPINION

  • Fayla

    I too have suffered from depression & took medication for a while. Won't be doin that ish anymore though. Not knocking it, but it doesn't make the problems go away. Felt like I was in a blur & didn't have emotions. Hated it! Now I just deal with life as it comes, good & bad. But I wasn't deeply depressed either so, :shrug: Like someone said earlier, meds are at best a band-aid for depression. If the root cause of the depression is not addressed, you are simply prolonging the sickness since med's don't make (the problem/s) go away & have to be dealt with before moving on to live a happier life :coffee:

  • http://twitter.com/_imOther_ Mamacita

    ELove says:

    Ahhhh Ms. Sandra…
    ANY Type of Man-Made/Mass Manufactured Medicine that ISN’T ALL NATURAL has side affects (Real…)

    The MEDICAL Industry (As A WHOLE…) ain’t trying to CURE Anybody of Anything… THEIR MOTIVE IS collecting Long-Standing Customers JUST LIKE Crack-Dealers collect Crack-Addicts

    The MORE People they can get hooked on some form of Medicine, The MORE MONEY they can make… I’ve SEEN Some People with anywhere from 5 to 12 different bottles of pills that were all prescribed by A DOCTOR

    --------------------

    :cosign: It's sad when people have to take medication to relieve side effects from ANOTHER medication and so on. That just doesn't seem healthy to me.

    I'm skeptical about ALL medication. I don't even own any tylenol, asprin, midol, cold medicine, none of that. Never have and never will.

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Choco
    You should stay away from that girl. Folks like that tend to destroy everything around them.............

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    LADYWOODS says:

    Sandra,

    Excellent post. Mental illness is a HUGE problem in our community. Our stigma with seeking therapy and taking medication does not help the problem. My daughter suffers from ADHD and takes ritalin.Her whole family told me she didn’t need it and so did some of my family who i thought would be on my side. Needless to say she went from being a d and f student to an a and b student. The medicine helps and we as black people need to understand that some people need help.
    _______________

    Likewise, there is a HUGE mental health problem in the gay community, but no one wants to address it. :coffee:

  • Feline Feminine

    @Choco
    You ain’t NEVA lied….I was actually mad at myself after the fact and wished I had woken up to the truth many years prior…but oh well, better late than never… :)

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    I’ve SEEN Some People with anywhere from 5 to 12 different bottles of pills that were all prescribed by A DOCTOR
    ___________________________
    My dr did that to me now mind you my body is not accustomed to taking medz but this fool wanted me to take three different medz at once - I took one for my blood pressure and scrapped the rest and glad I did come to find out two of them he prescribed I didn't need cuz he read my numbers wrong - My cardiologist told me that...

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Cha Chillin says:

    Sandrita .... Did I miss something :thinking: What happen to my MM on Lap Band
    ______________

    My bad. I thought this MM was more important. :)

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Sandra Rose says:
    OHoney says:
    Good post but the drugs they administer for it
    ________________

    I hear Abilify is excellent, as is low dose Remeron.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    If ever faced with depression drugs would not be my choice. I have a fear of drugs. Seen too many family members make bad choices. Hell I hate taking medicine for headaches. The side affects I've personally witnessed from "anti-depressants" is the reason I say :no: to them

  • Fayla

    I think different options work for different individuals there is no cookie cutter fix to all
    _____________

    :cosign: Hey Choco :waves:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Feline
    I know the feeling but like you said better late than never :hugs:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    The best medication for depression is :blunt:

    It always works for me!!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Awesome
    now my nephew is the most cool and laid back dude you could meet but he refuses to comprehehend why his son is so dam active

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    :waves: Faylaaaaaa

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Chiby
    True that - I will smoke :blunt: until I can't no mo!

  • SweetP1984

    "Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. For that reason, depression sufferers can’t just “get over it” without intervention such as medication (anti-depressants) and therapy."

    So true! I've been battling depression all of my life. Sometimes I'm depressed for no particular reason. Everything in my life could be perfect and I feel like life is just utter gloom and doom. I've been prescribed different meds and nothing has seemed to help so far. Hopefully I can get over this and through this.

  • http://myspace.com/foxybrown411 LADYWOODS

    SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME says:

    @Ladywoods
    My son is an A/B student and they tried to prescribe him adderall saying that he was too full of energy. I didn’t make him take it because he’s an active young boy and it seems to me they were just trying to sedate him. I never had any issues with the school about him disrupting class or noting like that. He’s still an A/B student but now he’s old enough to participate in sports that use up alot of that energy….
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    @ Samyell sometimes they do try to put our kids in a box, sometimes they're just bored in school, not being challenged,etc. However, i'm talking about the kids who actually need it. My daughters teacher called me because she got out of her seat 31 times in class. she counted :-( Medicine is not the answer for all kids but some kids DO need it.

  • Tyzgurl

    Afternoon luvlies! :grin:

    Late last year I was having a really tough time with a break-up...and I'm guessing I had a form of depression. Talking to friends and family didn't help, so I decided to talk to a professional. She helped me ALOT. My depression didn't get to the point of needing drugs, but my family did tell me that I just needed God. That's fine, but sometimes you need just a little more.......

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    I'm not down with taking meds for depression, but I think therapy is necessary. Black folks HATE going to therapy...cause we was raised to keep our business in the house! Personally, I think MOST black people NEED therapy.... most of us have been abused, gotten into fukked up relationships that have messed our heads up, confused about our sexuality, our have been invloved in some kind of racial altercation that has affected us....

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Awesome
    I know and it's really a disgusting thing to watch she is soooo effn ghetto that I really had to be like Tiff - do you really want to be involved with her directly or indirectly - Like I had to act like a snob and snub her outta my life - I also don't wanna be around when her chit hits the fan becuz it undoubtely will I worry about her kids - her daughter was molested before and now she brings another strange man into her home for money bish made me tell I would beat her azz like Im her mother! #GROSSLY DISGUSTED

  • yvonne79

    *giggles at ChiByTex's form of therapy*

  • Feline Feminine

    Lol@chiby
    :blunt: is my husband’s solution to everything too… :lol:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Sweet
    :hugs: sorry to hear of your suffering - I would start keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings and see if that will assist in revealing what is truly plaguing you deep within - and a spiritual relationship with GOD and prayer always helps--- GOD BLESS Babes

  • Cha Chillin

    SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME says:

    @Ladywoods
    My son is an A/B student and they tried to prescribe him adderall saying that he was too full of energy. I didn’t make him take it because he’s an active young boy and it seems to me they were just trying to sedate him. I never had any issues with the school about him disrupting class or noting like that. He’s still an A/B student but now he’s old enough to participate in sports that use up alot of that energy….

    Awesome.... How did you end up in the doctors office where the dr was prescribing that to him in the first place? Did you express concerns that led to the doctor prescribing that med to him?

    Im just curious because you started off saying he is an A/B student. Im just confused because I feel like people want to label everything these days.

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    So true! I’ve been battling depression all of my life. Sometimes I’m depressed for no particular reason. Everything in my life could be perfect and I feel like life is just utter gloom and doom. I’ve been prescribed different meds and nothing has seemed to help so far. Hopefully I can get over this and through this.
    __________________________________________________
    I can relate to this....A lot of my depression stems form my mother and my stepfather and my fukked up childhood...but now im mostly depressed cause I have a fukking master's dergee and no one will hire me. I feel like I put all this work into getting an education and it hasnt paid off. Chit is very depressing...so I spark up a :blunt: Its almost a never ending cycle....

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    SweetP1984 says:

    So true! I’ve been battling depression all of my life. Sometimes I’m depressed for no particular reason. Everything in my life could be perfect and I feel like life is just utter gloom and doom. I’ve been prescribed different meds and nothing has seemed to help so far. Hopefully I can get over this and through this.
    __________________

    Try going to a younger doctor, preferably at Emory. They have the latest up-to-date research and drugs that can help you. Good luck hun.

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Sweet
    Or see someone professionaly I did that later in life and it was an amazing break thru for me

  • yvonne79

    chibytex aka lil red riding hood says:

    I’m not down with taking meds for depression, but I think therapy is necessary. Black folks HATE going to therapy…cause we was raised to keep our business in the house! Personally, I think MOST black people NEED therapy…. most of us have been abused, gotten into fukked up relationships that have messed our heads up, confused about our sexuality, our have been invloved in some kind of racial altercation that has affected us….
    May 24, 2011 at 1:06 pm
    *****************
    I couldn't agree with you more! We know rape, incest, molestation and depression takes place but heaven forbid, you better not talk about it! It's just taboo. If the Black community was made more aware of these issues and took strides to talk amongst ourselves about these issues or sought help when needed, a lot of the problems within our race wouldn't exist.As a person who suffered from depression, I encourage everyone to see a therapist. They work wonders!!!

  • C. Maria

    Great post, I wish more people would/could read this.

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @yvonne
    Its like Black people hate to face the 300lb elephant in the room. I guess that's how we handled being slaves....and now that cycle continues...i find that talking about my issues and getting positive feedback is the best THERAPY....it feels good to talk to other people that wont judge and can relate....

    Black people have so much pride that its killing us, LITERALLY. There so many mental problems in our community that we refuse to address. I know a lot of lil girls that have to deal with seeing their mother bring home different men, there are so many little black boys struggling with their sexuality, there a little kids having to deal with not having a daddy and the mental affects that has on them. Its like we sitting back waiting for someone to magically come and fix all this....that's not gonna happen cause we dont even acknowledge we have any fukking problems,,,,

  • KDub

    Your response is crucial. Do not dismiss your child with bad advice such as “Get over it” or “We all get the blues, it’ll pass.” It won’t pass.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    I work in clinical research. And I am currently assigned to a study for pediatric depression. It is REAL. And oh so SAD.

  • Starr

    Sandra....this is one of your best post. I have suffered from depression since I was kid. Of course it went ignored in my fam,and totally disregarded that something deeper could be wrong. I'm a skeptic of all medication, but I've met people who need it to just make it through the day. For some us, talking to a professional works just as fine.

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @KDub
    Can you talk about some the cases that you've studied?

  • Starr

    So true! I’ve been battling depression all of my life. Sometimes I’m depressed for no particular reason. Everything in my life could be perfect and I feel like life is just utter gloom and doom. I’ve been prescribed different meds and nothing has seemed to help so far. Hopefully I can get over this and through this.
    **********************

    This is me in a nutshell.

  • Feline Feminine

    My mother was constantly telling me that I didn’t need therapy and that I’d be ok and just let it go…yada yada yada…after I got therapy and felt so much better and my life was flourishing again she STILL did not want to give any credit to medication or therapy…it’s like black folks (especially in older generations) have some type of a mental block when it comes to getting mental help…smh…

  • Just_Kammie

    Working in the mental health field, I can tell you that diagnosing and prescibing the correct medications for people is not always easy. There are times where it may take several different medication trials before one is found that works for you. Just to claify; a medication working for you does not mean it solves your problem! Medication should be taken in conjunction with adequate therapy. The point of medication is to bring you back to a functional being to be able to work on your problem/condition/diagnosis. Therapy is just like taking meds; the first therapist you pick may not suit you. Keep looking and until your comfortable and satisfied. It's hard work getting yourself back to okay.

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    :applause: at Aunite Sandra for actually putting up a post dealing with a SERIOUS issue in our community......

    BTW Oprah has done plenty of shows dedicated to this issue.....since you all dissing her and everything....

    :coffee:

  • Cha Chillin

    Im in the mental health field as well KDUBB and its always disheartening to get a phone call for a child that is not even yet 3 years old that needs therapy.

    I thank the Lord for my children being healthy and productive. I thank GOD for my sanity as well... Too blessed to be stressed and depressed.

    #Humble

  • yvonne79

    @Chibytex: You better say it again! All of those issues, "lil girls that have to deal with seeing their mother bring home different men, there are so many little black boys struggling with their sexuality, there a little kids having to deal with not having a daddy and the mental affects that has on them", it all affects everyone's development; mentally and emotionally. Eventually if these issues aren't resolved, residual effects filter into your relationships with your peers, spouse, etc. and not in a positive way. It all can really take a toll on your preception of reality. Trust me, I've been there!

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    have some type of a mental block when it comes to getting mental help…smh…
    ____________________
    Its a shame REAL becuz it does affect them and their children...

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Cha
    The school nurse reccomended it and when his mom took him to the doctor they prescribed it. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary in his behavior and I was the one that got the kid dressed and out the door in the morning so I just told him not to take them. Funny shyt is after the school found out we had the prescription they never said anything about it again even though he never took the shyt.....

  • Long Time Lurker

    @Chiby & Choco... Shocked that it took almost 100 post for someone to suggest this.

    A fat :blunt: of that loud will put everything in perspective. :shrugs:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6YnCKsYXEM&feature=player_embedded#at=189 YSoSerious

    That pic is hilarious but I'd rather not get into the whole chicken-egg debate regarding suicidal gay teens.

    Afternoon and chit. :coffee:

  • yvonne79

    Long Time Lurker says:
    A fat of that loud will put everything in perspective.
    May 24, 2011 at 1:33 pm
    *******************
    It is what it is.... :lol:

  • SunRiseBlossom

    @ Sandra Rose:

    I can really relate to this article that you posted and I appreciate you for taking time out your busy schedule to post this helpful information! I suffered from depression and it was not a joke! My grandmother always said: "Never bite the hand that feeds you".... And you have fed our natural minds well with needful ingrediants to help us maintain a healty depressed free life... So with that being said: :bow: GOOD JOB... Thanks!

  • candibfly

    *head nod* @yso sup b

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    Did anyone hear of the Disgusting father who had several sexual encounters with his daughter ended up killing her and they found his semen in her body from 3 days prior to her murder - It's sad becuz he killed her and it's even sadder that she was having consensual sex with her biological father

  • SunRiseBlossom

    Hey candibfly!!! :waves:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @Long Time
    I was shocked too....that's why I had to throw that in there....

    I'd much rather get me $20 bag of :blunt: than pop 5 different pills everyday. I think God put weed on the earth for people with depression....its a natural cure.... REAL TALK!!!

  • KDub

    @KDub
    Can you talk about some the cases that you’ve studied?
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Yeah as long as I don't give the pt. initials or anything. One that REALLY had me and the girl who supported the study with me (she just left this month to go work at another clinical res. org.) just GONE was this little boy who was 8 who has been trying to commit suicide since he was FIVE. And yeah while that in itself was sad the most heart wrenching part...was the parent statement...his parents marriage had suffered. Their finances from trying to find him help for all of those years (depending on your insurance...psychiatric care can be astronomical). Said they felt alienated b/c NONE of their friends, co-workers, family, etc. understood. The dad said he even felt like they were neglecting their other two kids. Now ALL of them are in therapy. The whole family.

    Folks always say they will do anything for their kids...but at what cost?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Wow who would have thought so many among us suffer or suffered from depression :applause: to SR and the posters who had the courage to share their story

  • SunRiseBlossom

    Choco aka Hippie says:

    Did anyone hear of the Disgusting father who had several sexual encounters with his daughter ended up killing her and they found his semen in her body from 3 days prior to her murder – It’s sad becuz he killed her and it’s even sadder that she was having consensual sex with her biological father
    .................................................................
    Now that is so sad!!! I wonder where her trifling azz mother was?! But if the lady is dead... Lord rest her soul... :ashamed:

  • Feline Feminine

    @OHoney
    The shyt is real, very real…I just wish more people would acknowledge it instead of brushing it aside and telling folks to “move on…”

  • Cha Chillin

    SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME says:

    @Cha
    The school nurse reccomended it and when his mom took him to the doctor they prescribed it. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary in his behavior and I was the one that got the kid dressed and out the door in the morning so I just told him not to take them. Funny shyt is after the school found out we had the prescription they never said anything about it again even though he never took the shyt…..

    My sentiments exactly. My girlfriend has all of her children on ADD meds. When Im around them they seem like the most functional children they are active as they should be at 6, 11 and 14 but the moment they start cutting up she is quick to be like "Go to take your medicine you getting on my nerves" that shyt burns me to no end. I be looking at her like you the dumb bish that need to take some medicine. Take they azzes to the park sometime or something. Or if they act up she'll say, "Girl dont pay him no mind he off his meds" and will joke like its funny. How about, she automatically diagnosed her last two children the 11 and 6 year old because the 14 year old had been on meds since he was about 5. All she ever says is, its in they blood, they always gon be on that medicine. :blink:

    #ignorant

  • Yardgirl

    OMG this post is so timely!! I just got out of a staff meeting where they announced that a male co-worker just checked into the psych ward. Last year he almost lost his arm when he punched the sliding glass door at home but the story his wife told was that he slipped and fell. We are the only 2 blacks in our department and I knew this was coming based on his "out of it" behaviour. We make good money, but he keeps trying to keep up with the clear people and his stress level has blossomed into severe depression.

    Thank you for the post Sandra, it touched me right when I needed it :applause:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    Takes my :bow: @OHONEY :wink:

  • yvonne79

    @KDub: It's a good thing that the entire family is in therapy. I'm curious to know why a child at the age of five would want to kill himself? Bless his heart.....

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Honey you get my email?

  • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

    @SANDRA U A FUKN MESS THE PIC IS PRICELESS!! :rofl:

  • candibfly

    sup blossom :wave:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @Choco
    Are you sure its was consensual???
    And I thought semen could only stay alive up to like 48 hrs...or maybe it its 72 hrs....

    This is a sticky topic for me...cause my stepfather got me sloppy drunk and took advantage of me...i dont know if I fought him off me ( I doubt it cause I had had 2 bottles of Mad 20/20 and 6 pack of beer) But I definately dont think I would say I was consenting with having sex with him cause if I would have been in my right mind, I would never ever, ever even remotely think of doing something like that with him.....

    BTW my mama said that I wanted it from him and that I seduced him :hurl: I think that's her way of "dealing" with it without taking any responsibility for not doing anything when I told ger...

  • Dawn Sheen

    I am depressed because Sandra keep omitting my medical minute. It's cause I am black ain't it Sandra? Guess I'll take the greyhound to China and find out about Lil Kim's transformation into a brink from the great wall and fill y'all in since Sandra doesn't care about me.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    *checking email now*

  • Cha Chillin

    OHoney says:

    Wow who would have thought so many among us suffer or suffered from depression to SR and the posters who had the courage to share their story

    Hey OHONEY... I cant remember if I spoke.... And yes girl your right.... And its no wonder that this topic speaks volumes. Now I understand why there are so many negative commentors that leave negative comments after comments about each other and the people we read about.

    Is it safe to say HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE :shrug:

  • SunRiseBlossom

    OHoney says:

    Wow who would have thought so many among us suffer or suffered from depression to SR and the posters who had the courage to share their story
    _____________________________________________________________________

    :cosign:

    IKR!!! When you deal with things you feel like you are in it all by yourself sometimes... It's not good that others are/were depressed, but it's good to know that if you were depressed you weren't crazy for being it... But I thank God I GOOD Now!!! :clap:

  • SexxxyDimeDiva

    Sandra, I love the fact that you take the time to inform your readers! I once suffered from depression and took medications for it, however I found counseling more effective (just being able to talk to someone)! Keep up the good work :claps:!!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    Good Morning Yall!

  • yvonne79

    @Cha Chillin': What's up chick? Didn't recognize you with the name/pic change and stuff.... :boobs: Oh and you girlfriend should be slapped..

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Brown :no:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Sunrise
    They said when in court it was discovered his semen was in her body the family cried out - Her mother was in her life and I believed she lived with her mom and her stepdad

  • lnp03

    Thank you for today's medical minute! Even mild depression can be dangerous. Many people are depressed and don't even know it. We have to get past this stigma in the black community that seeking help or therapy is a sign of weakness or a lack of faith.

  • Feline Feminine

    @Cha cha
    :lol:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    Is it safe to say HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
    ________________
    :nono: Not in my case I've never been one to spread my pain

  • Dawn Sheen

    Who is the basketball player in the icture? Is that Keyshia Cole new husband? Did he realize Frankie had his debit card?

  • KishaMinyonn

    Mental health untreated is so dangerous. We as people do not treat mental illness as any other illness such as heart disease. Mental health needs treatment as well. I'm a firm believer in God and that he can cure all things, but you also must use common sense. I know plenty of Christians and some leaders of churches who take medicine. Taking medicine does not make you less of a Christian.

    The other misconception is Clinical Depression versus a depressive episode. I work at a psychiatric hospital for children and adolescents and this depression things is real. Also depression doesn't always manifest it self with crying and being sad. Some children act out in anger and aggression because they lack the skills to express their feelings. Medication is not a cure all. You have to work along with the medicine be it through therapy, life style changes, or religion. Fact is depression is real and it is hurting and killing our youth.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Disregard that Brown I found it. In my spam folder

  • yvonne79

    chibytex aka lil red riding hood says:

    BTW my mama said that I wanted it from him and that I seduced him I think that’s her way of “dealing” with it without taking any responsibility for not doing anything when I told ger…
    May 24, 2011 at 1:47 pm
    ************************
    Sorry to hear this happened to you. Your mother's response is the typical response from that "older" generation. For some reason or another (and I have some of these women in my family), they believe it is better to have a piece of a man than no man at all. As long as he's paying the bills in the house, he has reign to do whatever he wants.Hell, they'll let him smang the cat too as long as that check's coming in. Not saying this is your mother's line of thinking......

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    Whats up Ohoney?
    @ Cha Cha how you baby?

  • ELove

    @Feline Feminine
    It's NOT A "Mental Block" ... It's the ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE Mentality that THAT GENERATION of Black People had to have just to survive Each & Every day BACK THEN (Real...)

    That Generation of Black People were the STRONGEST we ever had because of the THINGS they had to ENDURE... Medicine for Mental ISSUES don't make you STRONGER MENTALLY but Love & Support-n-Understanding from people you VALUE IN YOUR LIFE WILL !!! :yes:

  • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

    I NO LIKIE THIS TOPIC :no:

  • Feline Feminine

    Who is the basketball player in the icture? Is that Keyshia Cole new husband? Did he realize Frankie had his debit card?
    __
    :casket:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    Damn at KDub's story....that's so sad. To wanna die at 8...

    I remember watching this documenatry about a lil boy who killed himself at 13...His parents seemed to be good parents...but they say ever since he was born he suffered from depression.... it was sad cause he left behind like 2 siblings and they was all fukked up behind their brother killing himself....

    BTW I have pledged to STOP talking about Chris Bosh...even though its so hard...my gay friend doesnt think its funny that I talk about Chris Bosh being gay...so I promised him I'd stop!!!

  • Dawn Sheen

    ALBoy says:

    Good Morning Yall!

    -----

    Hey... today has been post rapture doom and gloom day... we had a post about Harpo which went totally left... we had a post abot beaver and his bird chest... we had a post about Keyshia cole and her new tax write off... we had a post about Lady Gaga and her half naked monkey fist.. now we in the red pill, blue pill post... where u been pimpin?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    :lol: @ Dawn whats up baby? It Kevin Derant after they lost to Dallas last night! Boobie bet not leave any valuables around any of Keishas folks :lol:

  • !*LaKErCHiC@*!

    Medicine for Mental ISSUES don’t make you STRONGER MENTALLY but Love & Support-n-Understanding from people you VALUE IN YOUR LIFE WILL !!!

    _________________________________
    :cosign: Real...

  • Feline Feminine

    Medication is not a cure all. You have to work along with the medicine be it through therapy, life style changes, or religion. Fact is depression is real and it is hurting and killing our youth.
    __
    :applause:

  • Long Time Lurker

    Dawn Sheen says:

    Is that Keyshia Cole new husband? Did he realize Frankie had his debit card?

    :dead:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Hey Al :hi:
    Hey ELove :hi:

  • Feline Feminine

    For some reason or another (and I have some of these women in my family), they believe it is better to have a piece of a man than no man at all.
    __
    This is SOOOOO true…I’ve heard my grandmother give power to this very thought…me personally, I’d rather be alone…

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Dawn been chilling/working just finished lunch so I here for now>

  • SunRiseBlossom

    @ Choco aka Hippie says:

    @Sunrise
    They said when in court it was discovered his semen was in her body the family cried out – Her mother was in her life and I believed she lived with her mom and her stepdad
    ______________________________________________________________________
    Woooooooooooooow!!! That is so sad... Thanks for responding back!!!
    ......................................................................
    Feline Feminine says:

    Did he realize Frankie had his debit card?
    _____________________________________________________________________

    OMG!!! That was Hella Funny... :rofl:

  • Feline Feminine

    @ELove
    You make a salient point, but look at how that coping and dealing possibly affected the next generations… I mean, honestly, I am looking at older people in my family who are in dire need of therapy but will likely NEVER get it because of this attitude…
    Like chibytex said in an earlier post, black folks as a whole need therapy…our life experiences in this country have fcked us up royally and this is visible in the way we deal with our communities and with each other… :shrugs:

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    I agree a lil :blunt:
    will mellow you right out lol. And I love the pic with the story! Ya'll didn't see how quickly those boys smiles faded on the bench when we came back? Depression set in!!! They need therapy!!! Go MAVS!!!!

  • prynsexxx

    Dawn Sheen says:

    Who is the basketball player in the icture? Is that Keyshia Cole new husband? Did he realize Frankie had his debit card?
    _________________________________

    He probably did b/c they shole left him to play in them $15 Walmart Danskin gym shoes! No wonder they lost.

  • Dawn Sheen

    ALBoy says:

    Boobie bet not leave any valuables around any of Keishas folks
    ----

    Tisk, tisk my friend anyone who has a crackhead, methhead, coke head, or even tail light in their family knows you don't have to leave stuff around for them to steal it. When a "j" is around, things grow legs... I mean they will steal the stank out of chit, the sweet out of sugar...IJS

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Cha
    Some of these chicks will do whatever is needed to their children so they can try and get that SSI check...... :coffee:

  • ELove

    OHHHHHH Honey... Whaddup baby !!! :hug:

    @LTL
    Yeah THAT "Tax-Writeoff" was Too F-ing FUNNY !!! :rofl:

  • SunRiseBlossom

    prynsexxx says:

    He probably did b/c they shole left him to play in them $15 Walmart Danskin gym shoes! No wonder they lost
    ___________________________________________________________________

    :rofl: I'm gone need you to BEHAVE now!!! Lol...

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    As long as he’s paying the bills in the house, he has reign to do whatever he wants.Hell, they’ll let him smang the cat too as long as that check’s coming in. Not saying this is your mother’s line of thinking……
    __________________________________________
    He WASNT no fukking bills AT. ALL. I cant remember my step father keeping a job for more than 6 months ever. I dont even know why she stayed with him. He fought dogs...that was his income....

    What hurts the most is that she stayed with him for YEARS after I was raped. Like she didnt divorce him until I was damn finished with undergrad...I was raped by him when I was 15 or 16. That's hard a hard pill to swallow... No pun intended

    Molestation in rape is a curse in my family.....I recently found out my mother's father was molesting her older sister (which wasnt his child)....my aunt then went on to marry a man that molested her daughter...my other aunt's daughter got molested by one of her husband's nephews.....BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT...and if somebody brings it up...they getting cuss the fulkk out!!!

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    On the cool no one can say what another needs to do to help themselves. It's an individual journey

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Dawn you right just thought about when Birth father stole 26 cents in pennies off my dresser then came back later on talking bout oh I borrowed so money from you :blink: for real it was 26 cent :no: things that dope will make you do! :no:

  • SunRiseBlossom

    mrsloveleighwilliams says:

    On the cool no one can say what another needs to do to help themselves. It’s an individual journey

    ______________________________________________________________________

    Well Stated!!! :cosign:

  • Cha Chillin

    CANDI *slides down your bump it ... :wave: Hey Sugah!

  • sexyphillygirl

    Depression runs in my family on both sides. Yes sometimes I am depressed, not enough to kill myself or take meds but I have managed to have a great doctor to talk to and what I did for myself was get a journal and write everything down in it that I am feeling, I read it outloud and put it in the universe, take some deep breaths, pray and go about my day. Im not saying that will work for everybody but it works for me. I do believe in taking meds, but personally I dont think I need them, however if someone does as long as they dont use it as a crutch its cool. I have a cousin who is depressed and uses the drugs as an excuse not to leave the house she is getting worse each time I see her.

    But the key thing is talking about your issues you gotta get them out of your system...

  • Feline Feminine

    BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT…and if somebody brings it up…they getting cuss the fulkk out!!!
    __
    My cousin was molested by her step-father. She told me in confidence but it never got brought to the forefront…and you bettt not! bring that up to anyone eva eva eva…black folks like to get amnesia with this type of stuff…it’s so fcked up…

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    chibytex aka lil red riding hood says:
    BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT…and if somebody brings it up…they getting cuss the fulkk out!!!
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    WOW that is so fuked up! :shocked:

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    @ChiByTex
    It really is a sad thing that black families tend to sweep molestation under the rug. I had family members that were molested as children and they never got any help. I often wonder how they deal with it. How do you go on and trust men after that?

  • prynsexxx

    @AL

    NOT 26 cents in brown American pennies!

    BYE!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    Honey sent

    Dawm I will not have you talkin bad about Kevin Durant!!!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ CHI I dont know why folks wont deal with these type issues we had some similar things happen but folks act like nothin ever happened but everybody knows it did :no: It puts you in an awkward position trying to gain closer when nobody is willing to acknowledge what happened is hard. I really had to search myself and really get me together so I put it all out there and let it go! I realized I was hurting me more than they had so I had to free my mind from that prison!

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Chiby :hugs: girl that's really tough to deal down and I'm glad you are able to speak on it freely it really shows you have healed from it - Im saying it was consensual on her part becuz they had sex on several different occassions - not her being taken advantage of she was having sex with her father on different days -

    Your mother is avoiding the responsibility of having to deal with a sexual abuser who she happens to be in love with - the saddest thing with your mom is that she didn't stand behind you - over some peen that is undoubtedly sharing with everyone else - Sometime women like your mother anger me but then it turns to pitty....

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    Thanks @SunRiseBlossom

  • Cha Chillin

    yvonne79 says:

    @Cha Chillin’: What’s up chick? Didn’t recognize you with the name/pic change and stuff…. Oh and you girlfriend should be slapped..

    GIRL..... :mad: You aint got to tell me!

    @ CHOCO...its a general statement, I have never taken you for the vindictive type REAL

    ALBOY... HEY my favorite FACIAL CLEANSER :kiss:

    Awesome YOU AINT NEVA LIED!

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    the drugs as an excuse not to leave the house she is getting worse each time I see her.

    But the key thing is talking about your issues you gotta get them out of your system…
    _______________
    I so agree getting it out of your system by talking about it is very literal in this sense...

    How come your cousin doesn't want to leave the house - Im certain its stemming from her depression but there has to be something deeper??? Just wondering becuz I remember days like that but it wasn't that I didn't want to leave the house - I didn't feel like dealing with folks

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Pryn I only remember because I was going to get a chocolate milk 25 cent and it was gone MIA when I woke up like the inner thigh of all Moniques pants :no:

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    Choco said: Sometime women like your mother anger me but then it turns to pitty….
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    :no:
    please don't pity these women! As a mother your sole purpose is to protect your child...period!!! Women who turn the blind eye are just as bad as the men doing the dirt. I will say this when it happened in my family the Mama was gone immediatly! No questions as to who is telling the truth and who misunderstood what. Gone

  • Feline Feminine

    and it was gone MIA when I woke up like the inner thigh of all Moniques pants
    :ghost:

  • ELove

    @Feline Feminine
    THAT may very well be TRUE but my Counter to that is when "It TAKES a Village to raise A CHILD" went the way of the DoDo-Bird... THAT'S when things started BOILING OUT OF CONTROL for the Black Community (As A Whole...)

    We STOPPED LQQKING out for one another ...
    We STOPPED Truly Caring for one another...
    We STOPPED supporting (Black Owned Business in the Neighborhood) one another...
    We STOPPED sharing knowledge & Stressing eduction for one another...

    There was a time if a KID did something Stupid or Mildly Criminal THE NEIGHBORHOOD Parents would get IN THAT AZZ... And it was an Accepted Practice and NO ONE had any problem or issues with that

    Then THESE STR8 HOODRAT Mentality Adults started catching FEELINGS when somebody tried to CHECK THEIR Criminal-Minded as KIDS and THAT'S WHEN this spiral of ALL-OUT Foolishness started cropping up everywhere with OUR COMMUNITY (Sad But TRUE...)

  • http://www.twitter.com/cocoabana Cocoabana

    Damn Chiby, I could not IMAGINE going through what you went through.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    ALBoy says:
    @ Pryn I only remember because I was going to get a chocolate milk 25 cent and it was gone MIA when I woke up like the inner thigh of all Moniques pants
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    :wail: Al why must you hurt me? I lost a pair of pants that fell victim to my Honey thighs

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    ELove I :cosign:

  • sexyphillygirl

    @CHI-My step grandfather touched me on my private parts when I was 12, I told my grandmother who then told him if he ever touched me again she would tell my dad, he never touched me again but I always wondered why not throw him out. she dealt with it by not leaving me with him. I totally agree us black folks deal with molestation in our own way, we catch the "uncle" beat the crap out of him and never talk about it again.....

  • yvonne79

    @chibytex: My older two sisters, the oldest was molested by our uncle and the next to the oldest claims she wasn't molested by her father BUT he did have a pornography ring involving her friends (in which he paid my sister to solicit her friends' involvement). It was a huge news story in California back in the 90s. To be honest, I think these issues are a major part of the reason why their lives are the way they are. My oldest sister was diagnosed as a schizophrenic but won't take her medication because "she doesn't want to be azombie" and my other sister just has unresolved issues. She uses her body to gain the love and affection from men that she never received from her father. In the midst of the desruction, you have TEN children who are affected! Three in which I am trying to get custody of but that is another story for a different say... (sigh)

  • candibfly

    @cha cha :yahoo:

    *stretches like a cat then plops down on ur keyboard for a nap* kdaljfkdlafjda

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    mrsloveleighwilliams says:

    @ChiByTex
    It really is a sad thing that black families tend to sweep molestation under the rug. I had family members that were molested as children and they never got any help. I often wonder how they deal with it. How do you go on and trust men after that?
    _________________________________________________
    I didnt really deal with it until recently...i think thats why I was so promiscuious in high school in college...i felt like I had already been taken advantage of any way...might as well just GIVE it away....I felt like I didnt have any value....especially because my own fukking mother didnt see any worth in me...I hid all of this from my real daddy up until the day before I went off to college....

    I didnt tell my real daddy about the rape cause I knew my daddy would have pull an "A Time to Kill" ala Samuel Jackson style on my step father...and I didnt want him to go to jail.

    Right now I dont trust my daugther with any man 100%...I mean I even be checking husband to make sure he aint on no bull chit....It gets on his nerves that I do it, but he understands WHY I do it....

  • Cha Chillin

    ELove says:
    Then THESE STR8 HOODRAT Mentality Adults started catching FEELINGS when somebody tried to CHECK THEIR Criminal-Minded as KIDS and THAT’S WHEN this spiral of ALL-OUT Foolishness started cropping up everywhere with OUR COMMUNITY (Sad But TRUE…)

    :applause: Sits on your lap kicking my feet for you to continue

  • Feline Feminine

    @ELove
    I agree with you about the problems plaguing us…my rebuttal is what is the ROOT CAUSE of this? WHY are we behaving this way and allowing these things to negatively affect our lives? Our minds were up for grabs the moment our ancestors stepped off the ships and entered the Western world… from there it’s been an ongoing battle for acceptance and a struggle to survive in a world that was not built for us. After reading books like ‘The Miseducation of the Negro’ I started to realize how deep this root grows… :shrugs:

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    Yvonne79 I applaud you for trying to break that cycle by giving the three children you are trying to get a better option to life. Somethimes that's all it takes to save a kid. Someone to show real intrest in them

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    For some reason or another (and I have some of these women in my family), they believe it is better to have a piece of a man than no man at all.
    ____________________
    And I think this stigma is what really forced me to leave my husband at 23 and do you know what my mother said to me - this is your divorce you deal with it - Me okay I swear my mom turned me away from her so many times when I truly needed her advice the great thing about her turning me away is that I made my own decisions based on how I felt :champ:

  • sexyphillygirl

    @Choco-its more to her sickness I believe but I never talked to her about it. I think she is manic depressive, her older brother was but im not a doctor so im not sure. She will leave the house but she stays in most days. Plus she was a crack addict and I think she is physically sick and is afraid of that.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Elove you right about that now you better not try to tell someone else's child the Right thing to do you will ened up fighting a child and parent :no: I still check wrong when I see it though. I think once men quit speaking up then everybody else just followed suit> men need to take back their communities and homes.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    Cha Chillin says:
    ELove says:
    Then THESE STR8 HOODRAT Mentality Adults started catching FEELINGS when somebody tried to CHECK THEIR Criminal-Minded as KIDS and THAT’S WHEN this spiral of ALL-OUT Foolishness started cropping up everywhere with OUR COMMUNITY (Sad But TRUE…)

    :applause: Sits on your lap kicking my feet for you to continue
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *accidentally pushes you off his lap*
    Oooops excuse me Cha-Cha I'm just tyring to get to my lounge chair

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    especially because my own fukking mother didnt see any worth in me
    ___________________
    Wow sooo knows how that feels and still tryn to please SMDH

    Trust your hubby tho I know its really hard but don't do that to him it's unfair!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Ohoney why are you ever wearing Pants :no: Naked or dresses thanks :coffee:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    please don’t pity these women! As a mother your sole purpose is to protect your child…period!!! Women who turn the blind eye are just as bad as the men doing the dirt. I will say this when it happened in my family the Mama was gone immediatly! No questions as to who is telling the truth and who misunderstood what. Gone
    _______________________________________
    :clap: This is so true!! I have forgiven my stepfather for what he did....but I still have a lot of unresolved issues with my mother...I mean I want to forgive her and move on...but everytime I try...she does or says some bogus chit that makes me hate her all over again.... I blame her for the whole thing...cause she was in the next room when he raped me...I felt like she damn near told him to do or something...its weird and real fukked up how I feel.... I just pray and smoke my :blunt: and try to talk about what happened to me whenever I get a platform to tell it...cause I know there are millions of girls who have been through similar chit!!

    @Yvonne: like I totally feel the pain of your story...so many people affected by ONE fukking monster....

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    Plus she was a crack addict and I think she is physically sick and is afraid of that.
    ______________
    It makes sense she is really coping with recovery and doesn't trust herself perhaps - doesn't want to relapse

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    @ChiByTex I understand where you are coming from. I still haven't really dealt with my feelings about things. And just like you it's hard to trust men around my daughter. My hubby is the exception. He is really the only man i've let be around and he's been there since she was 2. i felt like molestation ruined my family members because they went on to have kids very early. I fell had they not been touched this would not be the case.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    @chibytex she was in the next room?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IW7_eSIXp4 OHoney

    AL :lol: really?

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    men need to take back their communities and homes
    _______________________________________________________
    :applause:
    Even though that's harder to do than say. It's in alot of people's best interest to keep it the way it is.........

  • Cha Chillin

    OHoney says:
    *accidentally pushes you off his lap*
    Oooops excuse me Cha-Cha I’m just tyring to get to my lounge

    *smacks dat azz :nana:
    You better watch that big ol thang!

  • sexyphillygirl

    @Chi-Wait your mom was in the next room when he raped you? WTF!?! Sorry but thats crazy was they on drugs was she passed out, how do you not know something is going on right next door. My grandmother wasnt home when my step grandfather touched me but as soon as she came home I told her. I recently told my cousin and she said oh yeah he touched me to he was a dirty old man, wtf maybe if you would have said something back when he touched you it could have been prevented but im not blaming her cuz she was younger than I was when he touched her.

  • yvonne79

    @Elove and Alboy: You said that! :cheer:

    @mrsloveleighwilliams: Thanks but I'm just thankful I'm able to assist in whatever way I can. I know it will be hard. Hell, I am a single parent of two children myself however the kids have been in the system long enough waiting for my sister to get herself together. Oh, and did I mention how the father of the children who is currently in jail himself was molesting them? Yep, three girls and one boys. Phukking around with all of them. My sister, a victim of molestation herself, didn't do a damn thing about it. To date, she still denies it happen. The oldest one just graduated this weekend with honors and is on her way to come to college near me. I look at her and what she's been through and it's another example of how good God is. By taking these kids, I know I'm doing the right thing. God provided me with the wisdom and the means to care for the two I have, He will make a way for the other two.......

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Ohoney Im just saying I love to see the thighs is all Im saying you wear what you want you look good in anything Im sure but Im saying STAYNAKEDMYFRIEND :coffee:

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    @ChibyTex whatever works for you do.

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    @Ms and Chiby
    I do pitty a weak women I don't like judging or harboring ill feelings so instead of being irritated and annoyed I just pity the fool!

    @Chiby
    You will forgive her and you will accept that who she is is who she is - once you do that your forgiveness will come my mother is 68 she didn't admit or acknowledge the hurt she gave me until just a couple of years back - She treated me like a stepchild but it only made me stronger REAL!

  • Dawn Sheen

    LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS says:

    Honey sent

    Dawm I will not have you talkin bad about Kevin Durant!!!

    ----

    Hell I wouldn't be able to tell Kevin Durcell from Kevin Hart.. I don't follow basketball

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    By taking these kids, I know I’m doing the right thing. God provided me with the wisdom and the means to care for the two I have, He will make a way for the other two…….
    ___________________
    :preach: :applause:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    :applause: cuz what she said deserves it

  • ELove

    :rofl: at Ohhh Honey and HOTT Cha Cha

    @ALBoy
    I FEEL the SAME Way... But it isn't ENOUGH OF US around mainly because of the IGNORANCE of SOME Females that keep FATHERS from their child's life (For WHATEVER Trivial Reason they come up with...) and THOSE FEMALES Options for Male Figures are THEIR Trifling AZZ Brothers or Uncles that ain't ABOUT SHYT Anyway... YES I'm back to the HOODRAT Mentality Adults that PLAGUE OUR COMMUNITY (MF-ing Real...)

  • yvonne79

    @chibytex she was in the next room?? :shocked:
    You know what......hearing things like that pisses me the phukk off. Women like that deserve to be burned alive! I wish a mofo would touch anyone of my kids; my son or my daughter. Trust, it would be hell to pay. That would be a life sentence worth serving.......

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    @Yvonne79 it will be hard but the pay off will be worth it. Nothing like making a difference. I don't know what it is but some women just seem to attract that type of man.

  • ELove

    @Yvonne
    Heeeyyyy There MY Amazon-Goddess !!! :kiss:

  • Feline Feminine

    @chiby
    Was she passed out or sleeping in the next room?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_hqwXZtBVc LUSCIOUS LOLITA AKA SUGA WALLS

    I'm glad I dont have any kids!

  • ELove

    @ALBoy (Comment #210) :thumbsup: ... :yes:

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA ALBoy

    @ Awesome I know its been like that for a while more money in No men around more men in prison less in schools free homes the whole nine and we go with it because oh she got that ebt wic welfare and a crib for $8 a month she balling. ( I have nothing against any Government assistance if you need it Im talking about people who take advantage of it because they are lazy ) To many dudes accept that they dont have to be a man or a factor in their homes or communities so yeah it is a good bit of people who would rather it stay the way it is than actually Try or work to teach these kids something.

  • yvonne79

    @Elove: Hey there handsome! :wink:

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    I felt like she damn near told him to do or something…its weird and real fukked up how I feel
    _______________
    Maybe she did Chiby its not unheard of for a mother to give her daughter to her man in order to keep him around or to make him happier as some weird azz profession of unconditional love - I say go with your instinct I think my mother had an affair and I'm the result of her affair - it puzzled me for years as to why I felt as though I was always treated more harshly a light bulb went off in my head one day - and I started looking at my siblings and chit - the rest is history I asked her and she denied it - problem is is that it's been a hush secret in my extended family for years

  • sexyphillygirl

    @Luscious-this is my biggest fear if I ever have kids somebody taking advantage of them, its some sick people out here and most times its a family member that is molesting the kids.

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    Choco aka Hippie says:

    :applause: cuz what she said deserves it
    _______________

    Agreed :yes:

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    Yes! She was in their bedroom...

    Before the rape took place she had to call the ambulance on me because I gotten so drunk that it scared her...his ass got ghost when they came.... ( I even lied and told her and the ambulance people that I got the liquor from a friend, but me and my stepfather had been getting drunk together since I was 13...I didnt wanna get him in trouble) The ambulance left after I finally started throwing up......

    Finally everybody went to sleep...I kept complaining that it was hot.....well he kept getting up to adjust the air...finally the last time I complained.... he came in my room and started having sex with me....while my mother slept right through everything....when i woke up my puzzi felt like a Mack trunk had ran through...I couldnt even walk...I told my mom that somebody had sex with me...she said it was the ambulance people...she ask my stepfather if he touched me...he said no...and that was the end of it....she even gave a chit....she kept calling me a bish saying that I shouldnt never got drunk and thats what my ass get if the ambulance people did do it to me!!

  • loveme77

    @ sandra thanks for this post!!!!!! sometimes life can take a toll on you and depression will creep on you sooner then you think..

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    he said no…and that was the end of it….she even gave a chit….she kept calling me a bish saying that I shouldnt never got drunk and thats what my ass get if the ambulance people did do it to me!!
    _____________________
    Your mother should've been treated for her mental illness a long time ago - first becuz she knew were drinking under the age of consent but at 13 and with her boyfriend - Honestly speaking is your mom on drugs - becuz there would have to be an illegal substance in her system to just let all this chit knowingly happen - WTF so the ambulance ppl broke into your house and they all screwed you right!

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    ALBoy says:

    @ Awesome I know its been like that for a while more money in No men around more men in prison less in schools free homes the whole nine and we go with it because oh she got that ebt wic welfare and a crib for $8 a month she balling. ( I have nothing against any Government assistance if you need it Im talking about people who take advantage of it because they are lazy ) To many dudes accept that they dont have to be a man or a factor in their homes or communities so yeah it is a good bit of people who would rather it stay the way it is than actually Try or work to teach these kids something.
    ______________________________________________________
    Another vicious ass cycle that is destroying our community...I used to work for Chicago Housing Authority...and the chit you see up in there is no joke...its like the great grandmother started off there in the 50's and 60's...then the grandmother ends up living there cause she had a baby at 16...then her daughter gets preganat and ends up living there...and so on and so on....

    That's why they had tear most of them down and NOT rebuild any more....they had to break the cycle of project living...

  • SamYell JacksEm is AWESOME

    @Al
    My cuz came up about 2 years ago, got him a girl with section 8, 2 kids that she gets child support for, 1 she gets an SSI check for, and food stamps. He said when he found her he wasn't going nowhere because with all that, he ain't gotta pay no bills because everything including lights, cable and health insurance is taken care of. REAL.....

  • Feline Feminine

    @chiby
    I’m so sorry to hear about your unfortunate encounter at such a young age. I know you :blunt: every time you get down, but it really may help you to get some therapy so you can truly forgive your mother for her negligence…your story really makes me angry… :cuss:

  • yvonne79

    @chibytex: The Ambulance people did that to you? She really said that...you know what, I am leaving this post. I'm starting to get heated. Before I go Chibytex, I will tell you this.....

    None of what went down that night was your fault sweetie. For starters, your mother shouldn't have allowed this man to drink with her underaged daughter, period! For some reason or another, I don't know what the explanation, she felt it was ok to do so. Fine. There's nothing we can do about that, it already happened. For her to go as far as saying the ambulance people did this to you and then to blame you for getting drunk is beyond comprehension. Here we are 15 plus years later and she still cannot assume personal responsibility for her actions, she is a toxic person and doesn't deserve to be in your life. Forgive her one final time, and cut her off until she seeks treatment! Protect yourself from further abuse. You have to be here mentally and emotionally for your daughter. Every statement your mother says, the offense is occuring all over again and it's not good for you. Again, I know that's your mother but some things are just more important than blood.......

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    :clap: @ Yvonne the first sentence says it all

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @Choco
    My mother HATES drugs....she always saying that I'm a dope fiend like my daddy....I've barely even seen her drink.....she just comes from a real fukked up family herself....

    Her mother's mother died during child birth, and her husband left them children with her sister and ran off with a white lady...(this was back in the 20's and 30's...)so my mother's mother and her siblings ended up living with their aunt who used to mentally and physically abuse them....so my mother's mother never experienced any real love....which in return is how she treated her daughters... she always played one against the other...then she ended up with my grandfather who was an alcoholic mess....all they did was fight... so my mother never really knew what a mother's love is/was

    I thank God that my daddy married my stepmother...cause she was the one who showed me what love from a mother really is...

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    loveme77 says:

    @ sandra thanks for this post!!!!!! sometimes life can take a toll on you and depression will creep on you sooner then you think..
    __________________

    You're welcome, hun. :)

  • http://youtu.be/8A2Mfu0Yc5Q chibytex aka lil red riding hood

    @Yvonne
    She blamed it on the ambulance man cause she didnt want to accept what REALLY happened...I mean she was in the damn room with me when the ambulance was there.... (i remember talking mad chit to her while they was there, so that coulda pissed her off)

    Girl my mother tried to act like she didnt know I was drinking with him...some days I would be fukked up before she got home from work...Thr first time he ever got me drunk was when she went to Guam for 2 weeks for annaul Navy reserve training...he took me and my cousin to the store and told to pick out what he wanted...i picked up some cheap Cisco.... I will never forget that..cause I got so drunk I passed out...and him and my cousin had to throw me in the shower....

    Oh and here's the kicker...my step father was 9 years YOUNGER than my mama...so when he raped me at 16, he was like 24...so he probably had been looking at me.....we were closer in age than he was to his own wife!!

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    I will never forget that..cause I got so drunk I passed out…and him and my cousin had to throw me in the shower….

    Oh and here’s the kicker…my step father was 9 years YOUNGER than my mama…so when he raped me at 16, he was like 24…so he probably had been looking at me…..we were closer in age than he was to his own wife!!
    ________________________
    Why did she leave you with a 24 y o man :shrugs: I understand her upbringing but she seemed like absent parent - parenting ain't easy but it damn sure aint' that hard either - You could've been raped more than you realize

  • sexyphillygirl

    smh Cisco wasnt no joke that was my drink of choice when I was a teen we use to call it liquid crack.

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    Wow Chiby...just wow. your story is heartbreaking. It's a shame so many of us bonded over such a horrible thing today. Makes me love my Sandra Rose fam even more to know we aren't that different :love:

  • change

    Its heartbreaking reading these stories, it's also liberating that it's being talked about and people are growing and learning themselves through these traumatic experiences. We all have the ability to break the cycle of dysfunction with our own kids.

    Going up I was always taught to watch out for stranger danger but never uncle rod, or stepdaddy james...so kids don't tell because these aren't strangers these are supposedly love ones. Most cases of molestation are FAMILY MEMBERS uncles, brothers, stepfathers, fathers, grandfathers. Kids are scared because they love these people too and don't want them to "get in trouble".

    It takes alot of strenght and courage to share your stories too help others. This is what community is.

  • sexyphillygirl

    I agree I normally dont comment I sit on the side lines and read but this one was close to my heard so I had to say something, glad I did.

  • mrsloveleighwilliams

    You are so right @Change. wehn it happened in my family the kids were confused because this person was supposed to love them. i remember feeling like--even at a young age--I didn't want to break up a family

  • change

    @mswilliams,

    I think that's the start of the problem, you don't know how to act when it's someone you love. These people are suppose to love and protect you, you are suppose to come to them when you need help what do you do when they hurt you? I know someone whose uncle abused all of his girls and they still sit around at holidays like nothing is wrong nothing happen, they just sit around and "gossip" about it. I don't want to sit at a table and break bread with a pedophile so i don't go around them. When you associate with it it's like condoning it in my eyes. I think it's different if someone has a problem and they are working to correct there errors, but just sweeping it under the rug like it never happened???

    It takes courage to stop cycles because they are habits. It took for me to move to a completely different side of town to get away from the dysfunction of my family, and I made my own family with my friends. My kids call them aunts and uncles, and are actually closer. It's sad but sometimes the family would treat you worse than a ni$$a in the streets...real talk

  • http://chokolatemilk.blogspot.com Choco aka Hippie

    I made my own family with my friends. My kids call them aunts and uncles, and are actually closer. It’s sad but sometimes the family would treat you worse than a ni$$a in the streets…real talk
    ____________
    OMG I was just telling a good friend of mine that the other day you can mos def find family in friends

  • flsun99

    I know a young women only 29, with advance degrees, had great job, a home, a nice car and a large savings account. Her spirit is broken. She walked off her job and has basically become a hermit. Her mother & I are good friends and she is so afraid for her. The young woman won't seek help. She went to a therapist once just to shut up her parents but haven't since returned. She looks like she is older than her mom. She won't talk. Its said because I remember just a few years ago this young woman was sharp and so polished. It's so sad. I also see my 20 year old daughter in the 29 year old. I had to go pick up my child from college because she called me in the middle of the night screaming and crying. I think she had a nervous breakdown or something happened to her that she won't tell me. My daughter has sought out help but decided it wasn't for her. She's at home with us. I just let her know daily that I love her no matter what. I pray that she goes to therapy. I pray that whatever happened to her she eventually talk to someone about it. I pray for my friend's dauther too.
    This is a REAL problem in our community people....really serious. But as stated the stigma behind seeking help is what's killing our people.

  • SweetP1984

    Thanks Sandra and Choco for your input and I'm sorry for those of you that also deal with the same issues @Starr and Chibytex as depression is no joke.

    It's crazy because I can be fine all week and for some reason I'll wake one day out of the blue just hating life for no reason. This issue has been detrimental to my relationships and job ethics. It really is a mental sickness that should be taken seriously.

    Sorry it took so long for me to reply, I was at work and came back to over two hundred and something odd comments. I'm sure you guys are off topic now. Typical Sandra Rose fam. :-P

  • Akiba

    I am a 33 year old mother of three. I am active duty in the Air Force. A few years ago I went through a divorce and was seperated from my family for 1 year(had to do a remote tour). That was the hardest year in my life. There were many of times i couldn't get out of bed. After i got off work on Friday i would lay in bed until Monday. I would cry at the drop of a hat, needless to say i went to the doctor and was diagnosed as clinical depressed. I was prescribed Zooloft, that was 4 years ago. I am still on Zooloft today and it has worked great for me. I can tell a difference in myself when i haven't taken it. Both my Auntie and my Mother are on anti-depressant. We still pray and believe in God's healing, but we are smart about it.

  • pointhimout

    yeah, black folks have to get away from thinking you can pray everything away or fix issues by praying about it.

  • http://www.myspace.com/kristle1 kristlelicious1

    Thanks for the post Sandra! I suffered from Depression once and found an excellent therapist. Some of them would really rather treat you with behavioral therapy and not prescribe medications at all.

    Sometimes just having someone listen, care, acknowledge and not judge you for your situation does a world of good. My depression left me feeling as though I couldn't pick up the pieces because I had no idea where to begin.

    Therapy was the place to begin.

    Excellent MM!