Please click the link to read a very informative email about child abuse from the perspective of a surgeon who treats abused children and struggles to undo the damage that parents inflict under the guise of discipline.
A loyal reader who asked to remain anonymous writes:
I always appreciate your attempts to educate your readers on all color of things from the dangerous pursuits driven by the transient pleasures dopamine provides to child abuse. It saddened me deeply to see so many people in the comments defending the brutal violence this man inflicted on those two girls. Some said that he was right to do it because it would “keep them off the pole” or “it would keep them from doing it again.” Piffle. I wonder if that father lives in the home or is close enough with his daughters to give them paternal guidance. That, not vicious beatings, is the way to influence your child.
And anyone who thinks this sort of beating will benefit these girls is ignorant of peer reviewed studies from the CDC, Justice Department, NIH, Mayo Clinic, AMA, APA, American Pediatric Association, and other institutes covering child development. All these commenters have is what is derisively known as “anecdata” which are anecdotes from their lives they present as actual data on behavioral trends when they are little more than their own life stories.
The well-regarded and authoritative bodies I’ve listed above concur with your conclusion: that children who have violence inflicted upon them by enraged parents are more likely to further engage in bad behavior, run away, and, for girls, get into abusive relationships. The girls grow up thinking that if her father can beat her to get her under control, then what’s the problem if her boyfriend beats her down as well. Boys grow up to be abusers or engage in violent criminal activities. Some of these children absorb their parents’ rage and turn it inward by getting into drugs. I am hard pressed to see how any of these consequences are worth allowing a petulant parent exorcise his or her anger or frustration with their child by beating him or her. Abuse is not parenting, it is just violence; violence, unfortunately, our people embrace far too often.
I’m a surgeon now, but when I was doing my ER rotation. I can’t tell you how many children I see with broken bones, burns, bruises, and welts from abusive parents. And, because our people have been conditioned to accept violence as a solution to disobedience (I believe that this is a carry over from slavery), no one, even the relatives of these children, intervenes.
Last year I pronounced a two year old child dead. He had dozens of fractures (old and new), a punctured lung, and massive internal bleeding because he did something his father had repeatedly told him not to do. The relatives of the child, who had to know that this boy was being systematically abused, all fell out and acted brand new when I told them that the boy had expired. They are just as guilty as the father because they too have adopted the mind forged manacles of cyclical abuse. They knew damn well what was going on, but could only muster up feelings about it when that precious beautiful boy was nothing but a broken bag of bones. I didn’t have a shred of sympathy for any of their wailing because none of their hands were clean. They had the blood of an innocent child on their hands because they’ve adopted the mind forged manacles of “biblical justice.”
Maybe one day these people would like to take a trip to my ER or the morgue in the hospital to view the broken bodies of murdered children; the broken spirits and bones of girls of violent parents who’ve grown up to be the partners of violent men; or the self-destructive black men who were once sweet little boys who are killed or wounded because their counterparts, who were raised in similar environments, were taught that violence is the solution to disputes; or the drug abusers of either gender whose lives are nothing but a spiral of misery. Maybe then they will see the hard and cruel realities, backed up by hard numbers and statistics, of those who didn’t make it through the violence as unscathed as they did.
They should count themselves lucky that they didn’t meet the fates of these unfortunate others, not as success stories of violence. The KKK doesn’t have s**t on inflicting violence on our people anymore; they’ve outsourced it to us with great success. We have to do way better.
Keep educating and spilling tea,
A Loyal Reader
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