Pharrell Williams

Music producer Pharrell Williams says he maintains his youthful looks by exfoliating “like a narcissistic madman” everyday. The 44-year-old hit maker shared his daily skincare regimen with dazeddigital.com.

He explained that he removes the dead skin from his face with exfoliating scrub and he drinks at least 8 glasses of water daily.

“When you exfoliate and you drink a lot of water, that does good for you. To me, the key is just exfoliating, like a monster. There’s a lot of dead skin. All the time. Like a narcissistic madman.”

Men naturally exfoliate by shaving their faces daily. The razor scrapes off the dead skin that accumulates daily, allowing new skin cells to proliferate. As a result, middle aged men tend to look younger than their wives of the same age.

Over the weekend, Williams launched his newest tennis collection, a collaboration with Adidas Originals for AW17. He recently released a sneaker collaboration with Adidas that sold well.

Pharrell Williams

When asked who he looks to for fashion inspiration, the father-of-4 said:

“Everyday people. They have the best style, because it’s real. It’s like, the maintenance man, he does maintenance, and so his clothes have a utility function. He’s going to wear it with that kind of swagger, so he shows you how to wear it. When I started wearing trucker hats, maybe 20 years ago, that was because I was seeing truckers wearing them and was like, that’s kind of cool.”

Pharrell Williams

Pharrell Williams




  • Reina1718

    Please he is not looking as young as he use too…

  • Kanyade

    exfoliation is good. too much of it, is not. gotta give the skin time to heal/grow back, after sloughing it off.

    the outfits look good on those beautifully melanated bodies in the image. good luck to him on the collection.

  • Noirluv45

    Father of 4? I thought he had two kids. Hmph.

  • You Could Never

    P confuses me as of late. His flip flopping of black lives matter vs. all lives matter irritates me bc you cannot be both. All of that aside I still love his work, and I still think he is a vampire out in these streets who just started to age literally last year. Whatever he is doing to his skin deserved mention.

  • You Could Never

    He has lil Rocket and now triplets

  • Ni Ni

    I don’t want no man concerned with exfoliation and manicures. I bet he cain’t even change a flat tire ?.

  • You Could Never

    DACA Trump post in 5…4…3…2…

  • KcoolMuziq

    Pharrell is the coolest celebrity I ever met. VERY approachable. His spirit is youthful also.

  • NicoleZee

    If you want smooth skin, no need for fancy and costly treatments. I learned to just shave my face every few weeks or so. I got that tip from Caroline Manzo of The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Plus, if you have acne prone skin, use an acne treatment system. The Up & Up 3 Piece Acne Care System from Target is pretty good.

  • NicoleZee

    No one has to change a flat tire when you can call roadside assistance! LOL! But, men should care more about themselves. Bad hygiene and nasty bodies are a turnoff. Most men barely even bathe and most hardly ever go to the doctor or dentist! Sad.

  • Noirluv45

    Triplets? Wow, I’m late! Lol! Thanks for that.

  • stav

    This post was quite redundant!!

  • Shamari123
  • Nancy Drew-Natural & Luv’n It!

    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • NicoleZee

    He had one son with his wife years ago and they just had triplets a few months back. I could not imagine! That’s too much work, but they have nannies to help. I doubt if I would ever trust a nanny or anyone besides my mom to take care of my child. Scary world we live in. Most celebs pop out babies and hire people to do most of the work. I don’t get it, but to each their very own.

  • Look@m3

    I feel you. I cant be sitting up in the nail shop with you. I twist my lip at the ones I see up in there…sorry I need to feel a callus every now and then.

  • Look@m3

    me too….

  • Nancy Drew-Natural & Luv’n It!

    I need to see what Pharrell peepah look like. He prob just got them good genes, Lol!

  • You Could Never

    And…how do you know they have a nanny? A growing number of celebs dont have one and actually do rely on their family for assistance in child rearing. Whole list of folks out there who are raising their own kids.

  • Noirluv45

    I am so out of the loop. Lol! Yes, ma’am! Way too much work for us ordinary people who don’t have the funds to afford nannies for our children. I’m with you. Why have children and then pawn them off on others to raise. It doesn’t make sense, and it truly is a scary world. I’m scared for the children growing up in it.

  • Ni Ni

    Right, or let me see some grease under them fingernails ?

  • Ni Ni

    Most men barely even bathe
    ____________
    Dead ?

  • You Could Never
  • Coy little wink

    What? Shave yo face??

  • Rayne

    And a tool belt around his waist.

  • Noirluv45

    Major, MAJOR turn off! I love a well-groomed good smellin man. Nasty men need not apply!

  • Quitedeliteful

    He should look youthful at 43. Black folks who take care of themselves can still get carded well into their 40s…. I do like the fact that he cares about himself though… Good grooming habits should not just be for women: get that dirt from under those nails, get your hair and beard cut and lined up properly and damn sure get those nose hairs clipped!!!!

  • bhavana

    One of my pet peeves is dirt under nails. I can’t stand long nails on anybody (not even women). They need to be trimmed low and clean!

  • JV
  • Nancy Drew-Natural & Luv’n It!

    awwwww…. I love this family! Dean & Deluca, huh… they not play pimpin’ LOL!
    I’ve always liked Pharrell’s lil smart self (I hope he aint said nothing foolish regarding BLM…. I hate to cut him off (as if he would know)) LOL!!!!

  • Elevated Soul

    He’s an annoying girly man…

    I prefer my Bentonite Clay over any of that mess, he uses.

  • Look@m3

    Yup…..right up my alley!

  • Quitedeliteful

    LOLLOLLOL!!!!!!! Nothing like a handyman….

  • bhavana

    Yuck! I can’t stand dirty nails. That is nasty.

  • Look@m3

    Say that out loud….or brush they darn teeth twice a day like the doc recommends. If he does then you need hire an investigator …lmao

  • Ni Ni

    Right, my dad can fix anything. They dont make em like that anymore ?.

  • Ni Ni

    I said some…he’d have to clean up now.

  • Look@m3

    Mines too. …came home every night sweaty and durty with black crud under his nails….He would get in that tub and scrub what he could from under his nails but he had callus and dark nails all day. That’s all I know. These new school men I just can’t. Got they girls pumping gas while they on IG on the phone in the passenger seat….cant open a door for anyone.

  • You Could Never

    He was BLM then All Lives then BACK to BLM. *shrugs*

  • You Could Never

    Power. Insert your thoughts.

  • Ni Ni

    Lmao…they’re pitiful.

  • Nancy Drew-Natural & Luv’n It!

    Girl, real talk! now my boo don’t mind GETTING dirty, but like any grown arse man should, he knows how to bathe after he’s completed his honey-do list. he knows I don’t want to hug up on no grass clippings, motor oil, brake dust, sawdust, etc., LOL!

  • Nancy Drew-Natural & Luv’n It!

    well i’ll give him another chance if he byke to Blyke, LOL!!!

  • Look@m3

    I literally stared at him……all the cuss words running through my head I’m sure was showing on my face!

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    I always thought he was a big fruity, but big ups to him on maximizing what nature gave him which wasn’t much

  • kennedy220

    i’ve been noticing that…i remember growing up my parents making sure my sister and i had a bath…now maybe it’s because i live in nyc now but i have never smelled so many musty, duck butter smelling people before….especially black guys….i’m like damn in my small town…you would hear your friends parents screaming for their child to hurry up and get home and get in the tub

  • SingleGalCrazyWorld

    Ole Henriksen pore-balance facial scrub is great for exfoliating. Once rubbed into your skin it gets kinda hot but you feel a difference. Also Ren’s Glow Girl radiance set is the best to help your skin look flawless… I didn’t care about my skin til I started my part time gig. Thought that drinking water and Clearasil was cool…once I got the regimen down I’ve had no breakouts or blackheads in years…

  • Blue

    Hahahaha. Smh

  • YES I SAID IT…

    U damn right they don’t! Your dad and my dad are not the normal any more. These menz today don’t care to try to do shiit around the house, they rather pay people to do it and they stay in the mirror longer then us ladies do, trying to impress these n**** out here more the we do.

  • https://twitter.com/Chicagowise Chicagowise

    I’m not going to lie… I drink nearly a gallon of water, per day. I also exfoliate at least three times a week. I’ll be 50 soon and everyone thinks I’m in my late 20s or early 30s.

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker

    He’s right though

  • Renee26

    Those shoes look….familiar

    LMAO because he thinks he has the BEST style

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker

    I like the Bentonite Clay too

  • Renee26

    I love my Queen Helene honey and oatmeal scrub…cheap and effective

  • Elevated Soul

    I like using it on my hair too…

  • Reina1718

    I bet larenze tate dont do all that lol

  • Reina1718

    Thank u!! Lol

  • DJ

    Exactly. The obvious response to his youthful looks would be melanin, genetics and then his skin care regimen.

  • Nina Ross

    He needs a skincare collection NOT tennis!

  • minkyfinky

    I just saw an article on that and I heard this before. I’m going to try it.

  • Quitedeliteful

    LOLLOLLOL!!!!!!

  • SouthernGirlAZWorld

    I’m about to start using this! I keep hearing how great it is for hair and skin

  • SouthernGirlAZWorld

    Thank you for the recommendation! My skin is going through hell right now.

  • KcoolMuziq

    Larenz still looks like he’s in his 20’s

  • Elevated Soul

    It’s awesome……

  • SouthernGirlAZWorld

    Thank you for the recommendation

  • Reina1718

    Yessss with soap & water lol

  • dontgetblocked

    He gives me a bisexual vibe. I bet he wears negligees and heels around the house.

  • dontgetblocked

    I thought that was him on Power but he looked so young I couldn’t believe it.

  • EMILY POST

    How old is Pharrell?

  • Jennifer

    Those are great tips, but the man looks great due to his genetics. Tracee can give us her complete product list, but Diana Ross is why her hair is so beautiful. Don’t go out and buy a ton of exfoliators!

  • Evillene

    “Men naturally exfoliate by shaving their faces daily. The razor scrapes off the dead skin that accumulates daily, allowing new skin cells to proliferate.’
    Umm…what? I don’t think so. Nowadays most men don’t even shave. Exfoliation is done with gels, creams and cleanser.

  • SumthinSweeter

    He is definitely 1 one of is my celebrity crushes and the list is very small. He throwback fine as wine.

  • KcoolMuziq

    I was absolutely SHOCKED when I found out he had a debilitating disease. The way he has managed it without no indication is AMAZING!

  • SumthinSweeter

    Larenz has health problems?

  • Stan4NoOne

    Pharrell hasn’t looked young in years… he now looks like his age.

  • NicoleZee

    You should! But be careful, it’s better to use a twin blade razor on your face to prevent cuts. I use the ones at Walmart, the Equate twin blade razors that come with 10 in a pack.

  • NicoleZee

    Thank you!!!! But you know as we keep living, we learn what not to keep doing. Now, if I have to tell a guy to take a bath or wash his hands or even if I have to remind him to use mouthwash, that’s a no for me. He should be doing those things without having to be told to do so. I don’t get it. I guess some dudes just don’t care about themselves or suffer from mental illness. Very sad. I think mental illness is more prevalent than we think, especially in the Black community. I see it all the time. It is very sad and most people are not even seeking help, they just live day to day without treatment. I can’t be bothered with that, I encourage people to get help, they get angry, and I’m done. All I do now is pray for people, but I’m done allowing toxic nutcases into my life. Done!

  • NicoleZee

    Yep! It works, your skin will be smoother. However, if you already have acne or bad skin, it’s best to see a dermatologist first!

  • NicoleZee

    Ni Ni, I could telly you some stories and then some. I make it clear that no one is touching me unless they shower 1-2 times a day and go to the doctor regularly. Some men get mad, but they can also go out the door! Here is my thing, if I take care of myself, have excellent hygiene and go to the doctor and dentist regularly, WHY should I have to settle for some nasty man who probably has mental illness and bad hygiene??? The f*ck?? And then, if you tell them about their hygiene they get upset. Really??? As if bad hygiene is okay??? I just can’t!!!

  • NicoleZee

    My mom says the same thing all the time!!! Hell, if I carry another human for 9 months, he is stuck with me all the time whether he likes it or not! Maybe some women are different. I just think that when you make the decision to carry out a pregnancy and give birth, you need to do what it takes to be the best parent you can be and you should be doing most of the work, mom AND dad!!!! But we all know that whether the father is around or not, women still do the most when it comes to raising children. I guess most men are just lazy and don’t care. Sad.

  • minkyfinky

    Thanks for the advice. I’ll try those.

  • NicoleZee

    LMAO!!! No disrespect to New Yorkers, but most people from New York are nasty as shit. Sorry, not sorry. Anytime I am around New Yorkers, they have the nastiest habits. Nasty houses, they eat like wild animals, and don’t bathe often. I don’t understand. I guess since New York is nasty and filled with rodents people just get used to it and adapt. No way in hell I’m living with vermin, no way! I am thankful every day to have a clean home to live in, clean water, and I can bathe as much as I want. Praise God! I was born and raised in Atlanta, I’ve only seen a rat once, it was in the train station a few years back. I almost lost it and jumped on this White guy! LOL! Gross! Rodents are in every city, but damn, I’m not about to go about my day stepping over them like they’re supposed to be here like us!!! Hell naw!!

  • Guntoter

    WOW!

  • Guntoter

    LOL.

  • Guntoter

    WOW!

  • ?Royalty?

    Yes. Exfoliate not just your face, but your whole body – even your feet!

  • pure_rachet

    Sickle Cell

  • pure_rachet

    Doesn’t that make hair more stubbled? You won’t catch me doing this.

  • Noirluv45

    Yes to everything you wrote! You hit the nail on the head! ?????? Ultimately, our babies are our responsibility. Girl, can’t count on some of these men today. Best to have babies by men who prove themselves mature and daddy-ready.

  • Noirluv45

    You should not have to tell a grown man to take care of his hygiene. Girl, if you have to tell a man that, he definitely isn’t right for you. Chile, you said it: mental illness. A lot of that going on around. Mental illness and drug abuse is rampant. Many in our community are ashamed to talk about it because I think we tend to be very conservative in that we don’t like to tell our business. You’re right. You can only advise people. If they choose to get help, they will; if not, they won’t. Same with drugs. No, you cannot allow toxicity in your life!

  • NicoleZee

    I just can’t with these men today and many of them have the nastiest attitudes along with nasty bodies. I remember dating a guy and I simply asked if he could please wash his hands before eating, he got upset!!! Like, what in the entire hell??? Who eats without washing their hands first??? That is disgusting and why people stay so sick because they don’t ever wash their hands and many don’t know how to properly prepare and store food. Long story short, my mom and I both concluded that that guy suffered from some type of mental illness. He just had the nastiest attitude I’ve ever seen in my life, bad hygiene, and was very creepy and possessive. I have learned and I will NOT date anymore lowlifes with bad hygiene or bad attitudes; it is a huge turnoff!!! I will never get it. Seems like most people do not care about themselves or their health. Sometimes, I feel like I’m in the twilight zone or on X-Files with Mulder and Scully :). Life seems so unreal half the time!!!! Sad.

  • https://disqus.com/home/forum/thug-land/ ?Flash ? ? #Thug Life ?

    Hey can you come check out my disqus page its called thug land the link is in my bio

  • Noirluv45

    It’s pathetic! I think these are men who didn’t have fathers in the home teaching them. There’s a whole generation of men like that. I’m watching Divorce Court right now. This dude is 37, no GED, no career just side jobs, and when the judge asked him why he hasn’t gotten his GED, he said because he doesn’t have his wife’s support. Why in the blazes would she marry a loser like that? She’s carrying everything and he’s bringing in about $500 a month! You should’ve had to tell him to wash his nasty hands. Geez! Exactly! Isn’t that one of the first things we learn as kids: “Wash your hands before you eat.” My mom used to make us wash our hands after we came in from outside. Some people don’t have home training. Nasty. Just nasty! Yeah, dude sounds like he had mental illness for sure! I’m glad you back away from him because he sounds like the kid of guy who’d go off! Nope, losers need not apply. You are much better than that and deserve better. I say at the first sign that something is off, run! It’s bad enough his attitude was nasty, but his body was nasty too! Makes me want to puke. In my MJ voice, “You are not alone” in your assessment of this world today. We ARE in the Twilight Zone. I’ve never seen it more evident than when I moved down South. Unbelievable. I’m glad you see your value! ??

  • Darkandlovely617?

    A good bath afterwards = ?

  • Darkandlovely617?

    Yes, with scalp massage

  • NicoleZee

    Girrrrl, it is horrible!!! I’m done settling for losers and I will never help anyone ever again unless it’s my mom or my son. The last guy I dated wanted me to “help” him do everything. He needed a place to stay, wanted me to help him get a better job, etc. I just can’t with these sorry dudes today and they have the worst attitudes. How the hell can I be nice or tolerate someone with a stank attitude??? It makes no sense. In his case, he had both of his parents that raised him, but I think he grew up poor and hadn’t had the best life, so he took out his anger on everybody. His dad never had much money and they all live together now with his siblings in a crappy small apartment, so he needed a woman to use for s*x and shelter basically. He never lived with me but when he did shower and we did our thing, the d*ck was never that great either, just okay! Sad. I told him he will end up alone in the nursing home with nobody and I bet he will. No one wants to put up with someone like that. He still even today tries to get me back, but never again!!!! I think being single is better for a lot of people right now until they can improve their own lives and learn (if possible) to be a better and more humble person. We learn from our mistakes and I’ve learned that settling for someone you don’t really want is not fair to them or you. Plus, when you’re lonely and depressed, it’s best to just be by yourself and not settle for some lowlife user that will take advantage of you!!!!

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker

    I haven’t tried it on my hair yet

  • Ni Ni

    Lmao…a mess ?

  • Noirluv45

    You can do bad all by yourself. It makes no sense to be with a man that can’t do for himself because she sure enough isn’t gonna do for you. I think we date men that we know aren’t right for us and they teach us what we will never, ever do again. You know what you want and will not compromise. ?????? We all kiss from frogs at one time or another. What gets me too about the guys of today is they think because there’s a shortage of Black men that every woman should jump at the opportunity to be with them even when they are losers. Nah uh! So many of them seem angry, and I wonder why. You’ve talked about their attitudes. I don’t know what’s happening. Chile, so he wants sex AND shelter. Boy, bye! SMH. He grew up under negative circumstances, so he’s just gonna take his anger out of everyone? Why doesn’t he change his path instead of depending on a woman to help him. Hey, understand people get down on their luck, but if they are at least trying to do something about it, that’s one thing, but to act as if he’s entitled. Nope! Just okay peen too! Nope x 2! It sounds like your assessment of his is spot on. With that kind of attitude, not too many people want to put up with that nonsense. I’ve said it for years. It’s better to be single than to be with someone who isn’t right. When it’s right, it flows. When it’s wrong, there’s conflict and confusion. I’m not saying relationships don’t get tested because they do, but there’s something about it that makes you both want to work through it. It flows. It’s good to know that you will never allow him or anyone like him back in your life. You hit the nail on the head about being single and individuals working on themselves. I’ve been there. I’ve jumped in relationships, in my earlier years, because I thought I needed a man. I learned that I didn’t, and I worked on why I thought I needed a man. It was because I wasn’t, at that time, happy with myself, so he was going to be my “savior.” Doesn’t work. No one can save another person. They can contribute to another person’s life, but because we are all human beings, we are not perfect, so no man/woman can fix everything that is wrong. Like you said, it’s not fair to either party because you are both working with halves and not wholes. We live in learn and that’s the wonderful thing about life.

  • NicoleZee

    EVERYTHING YOU SAID! ONE MILLION UPVOTES FOR THAT!!! You hit the nail on the head by mentioning entitlement. I have no idea why some sorry men feel that they should be entitled to women doing things for them. That particular guy I spoke of wanted a woman to cook his food, give him shelter, and give him money and free s*x when he wanted it. Not today! Most men seem to want surrogate mothers that do everything for them. I’m thinking that a lot of women raising sons coddle them too much so they grow up to be sorry men that cannot care for themselves and cannot provide for their families. And if a father was in the home, the father was probably a lowlife who couldn’t provide well either. I just don’t get it, but even if I don’t, no one should have to put up with an unkind, nasty, evil loser. I just can’t.

    I am southern and I was raised to be kind and to appreciate kindness. But kindness gets taken for granted. And men like that guy will do something nice only to hold it over your head and make you feel guilty. When I do nice things for people, I expect nothing in return. I think parents need to do better raising children. I am determined not to raise an evil, sick, unkind, disrespectful criminal. I’d rather die first than raise a sorry or demented child. I just want my son to be a good and kind person that respects others and that never uses people. In the world we live in now, I have never seen such sorry, manipulative, evil, sick people in my life. It’s sad. I wish people would get help for their issues instead of just walking around with mental problems that will only get worse. SMDH!

  • Elevated Soul

    It’s like a a really good conditioner that really CLARIFY the hair.It also will leave natural hair in the “state it was as a baby” for a couple of days but I don’t really care about that part. but I like it!

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker

    That’s what’s up. I’ll try it on my hair to see how I like it.

  • Noirluv45

    You see, that’s what gets me. They want entitlements, but they don’t want to give anything in return. Like the guy you mentioned, you couldn’t even get good sex, not that it should be the sole thing sought after, but dang! You know, I was having a discussion about the 80’s and the crack epidemic. There are pre-crack and post-crack babies. I’m not saying his parent(s) did crack, but there’s a certain mentality and that includes mental illness. Many Black men believe that since there’s a “shortage,” that everyone should be willing to align with them. They think Black women should be thirsty. Nah uh! Times are changing. These “men” just aren’t keeping up. Yes! A lot of mothers raising sons are coddling them! Many of them have no man, not only in the household, but one outside to teach them, so they go looking for women who will take mommy’s place. No doubt, no one should have to put up with a nasty, unkind, abusive male. Never! You sound like a great person and mother. That’s what GOOD parenting looks like! You are his teacher. Some people don’t know how to parent. Thanks to Reagan, the mental hospitals were closed down, but there is a way to get help. They need not send in their own way. There’s no shame in getting help.

  • NicoleZee

    Out of all the men I have been with, men of color seem to have the most issues. I hate to say that, but that has been MY experience. Whenever I get involved with a Black or Hispanic man, for example, there seems to be some sense of entitlement as if I should be grateful to be with them no matter how broke and busted they are. Plus, they have the worst attitudes. Now when I’ve dated White men, their way of doing things seems different. I have NEVER had a White guy ask me for money or for food or a place to stay, they’re the ones that try to help even when we don’t need it! What I can say about White men is they move quick. I was with this cutie pie red head years ago, I had only known him about two weeks. He worked in retail, had his own car, and got a new apartment and said I could move in whenever I’m ready!!! I didn’t even need a place to stay!!! He was cute as apple pie but he was a smoker and that’s a big no-no for me. He had a nice body though ;).

    Now, no man is better than the other, but my experiences have always been different with White dudes even if it was just casual. I have pretty much dated just about every race and ethnicity and I have come to one conclusion: MEN AIN’T SH*T!!! LOL!

  • NicoleZee

    I think what I don’t understand the most is why men AND women abandon their children. I don’t get that. How can you lay down and have s*x, make a baby, then just not care about the innocent life you helped create??? It’s heart wrenching because the child will suffer and wonder why their other parent or why both parents just threw them away. I dated a guy years ago who was adopted. After he was born, his mother left him in a trash can and thankfully someone found him, he never knew who his father was. After I got to know him, I could see why he was abusing drugs, had low self-esteem, suffered from depression, and did not care much about himself. He resented me because I had my mom in my life; I was hurt by that.

    Why should I feel guilty that I had a real mother who wanted us and who cared about her children??? That is something to be thankful for. That is why parents need to quit being sh*tty parents. I could not imagine carrying a child for 9 months, which is almost a damn year, and then throwing him away. I could have never done that to my son, never. How the hell do people wake up each day knowing that they have children in the world that they have no relationship with and some have never even met their own kids??? Sick and sad. This world gets more evil by the second it seems.

  • Elevated Soul

    Just go to You-Tube and check out what some of the sistahs are saying about it….

  • Mama Dee’s Wig Maker

    Thanks! I will check them out.

  • Liah

    ME TOO..

  • Noirluv45

    Hey, it beats me too how someone can bring forth life from their body and not give a damn. I cannot comprehend that either. That’s why so many adults have abandonment issues. Those kinds of people are so irresponsible and it makes me angry. At least give the child up for adoption. I cannot imagine what it would feel like to know my mother and/or father didn’t want me. The child definitely suffers. Lord hammercy! Left the baby in the trash can?! I cannot imagine what that child/adult feels like once they know they were tossed away like garbage. I cannot and will never understand that. Wow! How sad is that? The guy was broken. SMH.

    You shouldn’t feel guilty for having a mother who loved and cared for you. His abandonment was not your fault, but some people take their anger out on others. I can’t imagine it either! I mean, you feel that child inside you kicking; you hear the heartbeat, see the baby through a sonogram, and then toss it? Wow! I cannot, like you, wrap my mind around that! Anyone who does that has, in my opinion, disconnected emotions. A normal person could NEVER carry their baby and do away with it. NEVER! Yes, the world is getting more and more evil by the moment. I hate to think of the future kids born today have to face. Sad, very sad.

  • Noirluv45

    I agree with you about men of color. So many of them have so many issues. That “entitlement” mentality is so unfortunately common. I think they’ve been made to think they are a commodity to be fought over and to get one of them, regardless of how busted they are, a woman should be honored. Ha! You know what? For some reason, White men are easier to talk to and deal with. I’ve noticed that, Nicole. I think it’s because they, for the most part, are privileged, and have more contacts than we know. They are connected! You see that White guy you were talking about…he’s not inhibited. He may not have the baggage a lot of men of color carry around. Too bad he was a smoker. I don’t blame you for that being a deal breaker. I believe you when you talk about your experiences with White men vs. others. I’ve noticed there’s an ease with them. Lol @ men ain’t shi*t! I have to say there are some out there that have it together. I know some personally. Those are the ones that are married or have a S/O. Sadly, they don’t make em like they used too.

  • NicoleZee

    All of that makes sense. Plus, people seem to forget that love comes when you least expect it. It’s like when you stop looking for someone, that’s when you meet someone unexpectedly! I stopped looking. I’ve dated online and I’ve met men in public places, and it does not matter where you meet them, they can still be toxic. I don’t think I would date online again though, I did enough of that and I just ended up with complete scum and I had to do so much research to find out who they really were, if I ever did find out! I think people find it easier to hide things about themselves online. It’s rare to even meet another single person, most men are in relationships or married it seems but they lie so much about it, that’s the sick part. No woman should have to settle for somebody else’s man. Ridiculous.

    Most women involved with someone think that they have good faithful men, naw, if they only knew. I hope these women check their husband’s cell, GPS, computer, work computer, everything. Some of them turn out to be sickos if you really get into their computers. Women need to do more investigating before considering building a life with anyone. One minute you think you’re in love, then you find out you’re really with someone’s husband or some sick rapist or child molester. I can’t!!!! Too much!!!

  • Noirluv45

    Yes, yes. That’s so true about love coming when you least expect it. Right. The best thing to do is to not look. He’ll find you. That’s the thing about dating online. People can be whatever they desire to be. You think you are meeting a prince and you end up with a frog. The pickings are slim. Gotta do research and background checks. SMH. It’s really pathetic! I know those who are happily married or involved are happy they no longer have to deal with the frogs. It’s exhausting and it’s hard work weeding out the bums. You’re right. No woman should have to settle for another woman’s man. The character traits today seem to be lacking. It’s so disheartening sometimes. It is ridiculous! You better say that again about some women thinking they have these good faithful men! I’ve said that for years. My family member has several gay Black male friends, and both of them have had secret hook ups with White married men! She’s thinking her husband’s all that, and he’ll all that alright. He’s all that crap! I hear people say that meeting someone and marrying them right away can be a good idea because there are incidences where people have known each other for years and get a divorced, and there are also those who met, got married within a short period of time and they are still together. I think the later is the exception to the rule. How does one really know someone after only a few days, weeks, or months. It’s hard enough knowing who someone REALLY is after knowing them for years. I mean they are thinking of building a life with that person. They haven’t been throught the think and thins of life, so how do they know how that person will handle it? How does the person handle their finances? There are so many things to consider, ESPECIALLY if one has children! I’m amazed at women bringing men into their child(ren) life after a short time. She doesn’t know if he’s a child abuser or what. I thank God we never woke up with men leaving my mom’s bedroom. I’m not saying mothers can’t have fun, but beware!!!