Leslie Jones
 
Comedienne Leslie Jones may be going through a midlife crisis.

On Tuesday, Jones, 50, tweeted a message that looked like a desperate cry for help.

In her post, Jones pondered the uselessness of working out “for nothing”.

“I really feel like “what’s it all for” if the people you want to notice don’t,” she tweeted. She added: “I just feel like I might die alone. Sorry that’s pretty heavy today!!”

Many of Jones’s followers were alarmed and expressed their concern for her well-being. Some wondered if she was going through a midlife crisis.

What is Midlife Crisis?

Stock photo - Middle-aged man laughing in limousine with prostitutes

Midlife crisis is defined as internal emotional conflict of self-esteem, confidence and identity. It usually affects men and women equally and occurs during the transition through middle age (40 to 64).

Midlife crisis is step 7 in Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development.

Eriksons Stages of Development

Midlife crisis is a stressful phase for people who believe time is running out to find their true purpose in life.

The condition is not a mental illness, but some people do experience temporary symptoms of depression and anxiety.

As middle age approaches, people tend to workout more, wear excessive makeup, and spend thousands of dollars on surgical procedures to improve their appearance.

People who are going through a midlife crisis often buy new clothes that are not age appropriate, or drive flashy cars and wear expensive jewelry to appeal to younger people.

What Causes Midlife Crisis?

Stock photo - midlife crisis

Midlife crisis can be triggered by a stressful event, such as a death in the family, loss of a job, divorce, illness, financial problems, empty nest, etc.

A midlife crisis is often diagnosed by friends or family members (“You’re going through a midlife crisis!”).

Though they mean well, family or friends can make a person feel worse by dispensing the wrong advice (“Find a boy toy to make you feel young again.”).

Well-intentioned advice may actually reinforce a person’s inner conflicts.

Signs & Symptoms

Signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis varies with the individual. The process of a midlife crisis often begins long before the person becomes aware.

Signs and symptoms includes, but is not limited to:

  • Boredom
  • Fixation on death or the process of death
  • Depression
  • Erectile dysfunction (in men)
  • Intrusive thoughts of failure or inadequacy
  • Irritability, sudden mood swings
  • Impulsive behavior, i.e., quitting your job, dating much younger men, buying a Porsche
  • Seeking external validation online
  • Constantly questioning your purpose in life
  • Unable to recognize yourself in the mirror
  • Fixating on signs of lost youth
  • Change in sleeping habits, insomnia
  • Change in diet, taking more vitamins & supplements
  • A desire to change the world around you
  • Cheating on your spouse
  • Flirting with married people
  • Getting plastic surgery to look younger
  • Working out more in the gym
  •  

    How Long Does Midlife Crisis Last?

    Midlife crisis can last a few months to a few years. It usually resolves when people accept the aging process, let go of their fears, and realize everything is going to be all right.

    This has been your Medical Minute.
     
    More Info On the Web

    Signs of a Midlife Crisis In a Woman | Woman’s Day

    Searching for Meaning Beyond the “Midlife Crisis” | Psychology Today

    Men’s Midlife Crisis: What to Do | WebMD

    Mid-Life Crisis | Psychology Today

    DISCLAIMER

    Any medical information published on this blog is for your general information only and is not intended as a substitute for informed medical advice. You should not take any action before consulting with your personal physician or a health care provider. Sandrarose.com and its affiliates cannot be held liable for any damages incurred by following information found on this blog.

    Stock photos by Getty Images




    • Doink_Ahanahue

      “It usually resolves when people accept the aging process, let go of their fears, and realize everything is going to be all right.”

      I think that is good advice and would add best the best YOU possible. You can’t based YOU off anyone else’s accomplishments, etc. If you want to workout, do it. Want to volunteer, do it. Whatever it is, do your best at it and you will feel better about yourself

    • Yoni7

      She might be. It happens. At the rate, future forecast outlook and state OUR black men are facing; I feel the same way sometimes.

    • You Could Never

      Sister circle and I discussed this yesterday evening. Leslie broke our hearts with this. Dating is ROUGH. Period. At any age. God bless this sister and may God send her someone nice to spend time with.

    • JRock

      A woman’s greatest fear is dying alone. Believe it or not it is also a man’s greatest fear. As we age, no one wants to die alone. She’s just sharing her thoughts on life. She mentions working out seems naught if the people you want to notice don’t. Sounds like she might be into someone and that person may not be reciprocating her feelings. Or she may have recently gone through a break up. All normal feelings. I wouldn’t go as far to say she is having a midlife crisis.

    • You Could Never

      Its someone out there for everyone. Dont be discouraged. And actually goes for everything like below poster said. Love. Work. Spirit. Encouragement is within ourselves.

    • Coco

      This is sad. I hope she finds what she’s looking for.

    • Kanyade

      Getting healthy and getting fit to look good should begin with you; wanting you to look good for you and feel better for you, first. Then the men will come. But as long as you ruminate over nothing happening, meh, that’s the vibe you give.

      I get where she’s coming from. I do. I have these moments, too. As soon as she stops looking, someone will come along. As YCN stated below, “there is someone for everyone”. I believe that. As India.Arie sang, “if you want a butterfly, you got to be a butterfly.” Okay, so maybe that song doesn’t apply, but ain’t it a beautiful song? LOL

      Leslie should just keep pushing, staying fit and healthy and living her best life for herself. The men will come.

    • Bonsai

      I understand what she’s saying, but you really do need to do it for yourself.

    • the conscious one

      No one wants to die alone.

    • WutizstillHERE!

      Here is what.. you put out what your recieve. If your energy is that of a person who feels she will die alone..you will because your attitude will project onto anybody who come in contact with it. Get some counseling.

    • Holler If Ya Hear Me

      OT but cardio without strength training IS for nothing. You will look like your regular self, just leaner. Pick up them weights and lift/squat heavy.

    • justlooking

      Chile I am thankful and blessed. May God send someone that is honest and truthful.

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      see a therapist chile… A energy healer or something … But crying on instagram for validation will never help your case… Instead you invite shyt. . . Leave that social media alone … I have no sympathy for anyone whining on instagram … Chile log off and heal thy self… Heal that self worth … Because instagram or any other platform will keep you in the rat race keeping your vibration low as fawk obviously … Smh

    • WutizstillHERE!

      HEY DIDN’T I READ SOMEWHERE ON HERE THAT FACEBOOK SAID THEY WEREN’T GOING TO BE ADVERTISING BITCOIN STUFF? WELL I GUESS MESSENGER ISN’T A PART OF FACEBOOK ANYMORE BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS..
      #olelyingasssfacebook https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f1af02c0ea564885746c99e26eb654e622323403c8a87d7b3b7411805999394.png

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      come through Wut …???

    • Quitedeliteful

      I think Leslie will be alright. Everybody has an off day. Hopefully she’ll start to work out and look good for herself and not other people. You like someone and they don’t seem to be that into you then it’s their loss…

    • Yoni7

      THIS!

    • justlooking

      but that’s spam. messenger is private. Correct?

    • You Could Never

      Lol. You made me lol with: but aint that a purdy ole song? *hugs ya neck*

    • Yoni7

      LOL Thanks sis. Sure is someone for everyone. Thing is, I’m not on the search at all. I’m on the total opposite end of the dating spectrum. Dating/relationship is not a top priority for me right now. I’m good. I just get where she’s coming from.

    • Jay

      I have a cousin going through this. She feels incomplete if she has no one in her life. To the point of detriment. She literally was messing around with a dude on house arrest, that was a pizza delivery guy, just so she wouldn’t be alone. It’s not healthy.

    • WutizstillHERE!

      Your right but they still run messenger so we will just be getting personal spam mail instead..how is that different from putting it on FB. just about everyone who has FB has messenger so the advertisement is still the same to me.

    • Ms.Vanilla

      This is what she said..“I really feel like “what’s it all for”…
      _________________________________________
      Girl you are realizing that without God life is empty. It’s all for nothing if you don’t have God in your life. Don’t let the devil kill you.

      God is knocking at your door, answer it and stamp the devil out.

    • justlooking

      I block anything or anyone that I don’t want to hear from. Try it, it should work on messenger.

    • Kanyade

      *sings* strength, courage and wisdom *sings*

      Mercy. Maybe I should just pull up that India.Arie record and put on repeat and shuffle.

    • Dystaney Kimble

      Right ! Been there . Had to pull myself back and delete it all and now I watch the rat race from afar . Social media RUNS my friends and family real life . It’s not real people , let it go and the people that’s making real moves can’t update you constantly . NEXT !

    • Yoni7

      That is so sad! I feel bad for women who can’t distinguish between being lonely and alone. There are other avenues to being and feeling complete.

    • SpillyNillie

      I keep telling folks, it’s hard out here in these dating skreetz!

    • V Dubb

      It’s called being lonely. It’s not a crisis! She’ll be fine.

    • SpillyNillie

      Leslie, baby, pull it together hun. You should be working out and improving for your sake and your sake only. Chile don’t waste your time trying to please people who don’t mean you NO GOOD! Self love is the key. Love thyself and all else will follow.

    • V Dubb

      Love this encouragement. It needs to spread abundantly!!!

    • Zeta Phi Beta 1920

      Good write up!

    • Zeta Phi Beta 1920

      I always say, “Get a puppy & a hobby”
      Something to love & something to do.
      You’re healed!
      You’re Welcome.

    • Renee26

      I’m pretty sure Leslie has dealt with internal emotional conflict of self-esteem, confidence and identity issues her whole life….I feel sorry for her. She can’t help how she looks or how society sets beauty standards….I’m sure there is someone out there for her. Don’t give up hope Leslie!!

    • Renee26

      She want’s her back blown out chile….a puppy won’t fix that

    • free

      sounds like she just needs some D.

    • free

      yes, exactly!! i saw that immediately lol.

    • Blaque Mahogany

      I don’t think she is going through a midlife crisis. I think she is insecure and she was simply being vulnerable. Not something I would do, but this apparently what social media is for now.

      I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for women that don’t feel beautiful or loved. It manifests in very damaging ways a lot of times. Hopefully she learns how to love herself…in spite of any perceived flaws.

    • Yoni7

      Get a hobby and GET PAID to do it……is what I’m on! Aye! Get paid for EVERY ASPECT that you are good at! EVERY. SINGLE. ONE!

    • hotntot95

      yeah it sounds like she likes someone and the feeling is not mutual..I would just curl up with myself and all my money…travel, donate to Saint Jude hospital regularly, save the rhinos, pamper my mom, spoil my grand baby…fuxk a man…lol

    • Yoni7

      LMAO Sounds like she wants the feelings included. LOL

    • Ms.Vanilla

      Excellent advice. Brilliant!!! I might just do that too. Lord knows a needy man is the last thing she needs…

    • Yoni7

      And keep my Yoni properly maintained..inside and out.

    • Nathan Hastings

      I feel the same way Leslie. Keep ya’ head up!

    • You Could Never

      Me too man. I totally understand. Why I felt some kind of way. Wish I could hug Leslie.*sads*

    • Zeta Phi Beta 1920

      LOL!
      That is why she is depressed. She needs to center herself.

    • Renee26

      Agreed, she may be living out her dreams and just wanting to share that with someone special; as we get older the pickings get slimmer. the men in her income bracket are more than likely looking for a “trophy” type woman and my very well be overlooking her…plus when you get that body together you feel good and look good and people start to notice and compliment you. You want someone of the opposite sex(or same) to notice and confirm your sexy too…That’s normal IMO

    • Renee26

      and on her same level…no Kendu types

    • pure_rachet

      My symptoms: feeling cold all the time and not wanting to go to work. Can you diagnose me?

    • Precious Kitten Heels

      lazy

    • hotntot95

      Yes ma’am?….all that

    • PLEASEDontTellMe

      Leslie is coming to grips with the fact, that her strong features are not visually symmetrically pleasing to the average person in the industry. She should consider internationally dating. JMO

    • 100milesperhour

      Then stop being so scarily aggressive w/men. That’s not a turn on to them. It may be funny on stage, but off? No. And it’s possible to like someone who just doesn’t like you in that way…men go thru it all the time.

    • pure_rachet

      Thanks! I was wondering what it was called!!

    • PLEASEDontTellMe

      yeah….she do look like she approach men, like she asking them to go shoot hoops

    • Renee26

      Yeah…but you get the gist of it

    • oshh16

      People get tired of being alone is all.

    • PLEASEDontTellMe
    • Renee26

      Yes! No more giving our brand away for the free free…I’m on the same thing

    • cherrypie

      Honestly, everyone wants someone to love them. She’s actually a beautiful woman. Just needs to soften the edges a bit

    • Yoni7

      All these folks getting rich off dumb sh!t. I’m “reclaiming MY coins.” LBVS

    • Renee26

      Tired of the BS

    • pure_rachet

      I didn’t know what that meant….UNTIL NOW

    • i troll it like i see it

      She may have been drunk posting. There is one thing I don’t like about her look, that spiked relaxer “I just got electrocuted” hair style is unattractive IMO.

    • SingleGalCrazyWorld

      Yes, Sandra with the Erik Erickson facts. I understand what Leslie is going through all too much. Its hard to find a great partner when your not famous so I can only imagine what she is going through. She needs to go overseas to find a man that would worship her. She is beautiful and funny and it shouldn’t be this hard for her…

    • Yoni7

      Yes.

    • justlooking

      It’s perfectly okay to say what she said. She is being honest.

      Everybody is always up in arms about somebody saying what they want. She want a man, and don’t have one. No shame in that..

      Matter of damn fact, it’s many that want one but to shame or stubborn to say just what she said.

      Speak and Know YOUR truth and WORTH https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2bd53730698d361574a8a7ba76f2c3ae8c41759a99ec76e38eb21778f4b11332.gif

    • You Could Never

      Over it-itis

    • PLEASEDontTellMe

      Mental health days are important for you and those you work with…. You wont catch a case and no one in the office will be murdered. Mental Health Days saves lives

    • Applebootay

      Throw this whole post away. It’s the truth. She just might die w/o a husband and so what? Marriage aint for everybody. And for all those commenting on her looks are pathetic. That’s exactly what’s wrong with our society. I’ve seen men much “uglier” according to society’s standard and women who have life partners. She’s living in hollywood and letting the pressure get to her. That’s the only thing we need to pray for is that she don’t let the evil of Hollywood change who she is.

    • WutizstillHERE!

      Well I just went on my facebook page and looky looky.. its on there too..
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1aa87bdbf6814a35de423e2d43fd2351937e2d094843ea7e29597d29c4813e0.png

    • SingleGalCrazyWorld

      “D” dont heal loneliness thats like putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound…thats a temporary fix or feeling… Leslie wants companionship Im sure she can get “D” whenever she want …thats the problem wit yall niccas yall think “D” gonna solve everything smh be all quick to whip it out LOL….

    • justlooking

      This is hard some times.

      Many black women have 15 degrees and if a man has 16 you have to have 22.. Then have 99 more million than he does with 7 homes. It’s like that in the DC area. From what my single friends tell me.

    • Yoni7

      So there is no confusion:
      INSIDE: yearly check-ups, steamed and cleaned/kegels
      OUT: shaved/waxed/Brazilian/lasered/trimmed/cleaned

      LOL

    • Applebootay

      and Jesus! you can find true peace w/o having you inner spirit in the right place….

    • justlooking

      email facebook , but I’malso sure the Russians still up there peddling lies as well. What can you do?

    • cherrypie

      Right! If she did something different with her hair, I think it would make all the difference. I actually think she has a pretty face

    • Noirluv45

      I understand the desire to have companionship. I think we are made that way. However, while you are waiting, work on yourself by building your self-esteem if it’s not already built. Enjoy life. Men can smell desperation a mile away.

      I remember a friend of my mom’s said her niece was at Home Depot with a knit cap on, sweats, and no make up when she met her husband. She wasn’t looking. It happened unexpectedly, and I’ve noticed that’s when it happens — when you least expect it.

    • Holler If Ya Hear Me

      With a handle of “Lesdoggg” I don’t know…

    • NeverSurprised

      Fifty is too old to not have learned discretion. Talk private matters over with a friend, not with the entire universe.

    • NeverSurprised

      ???????

    • You Could Never

      And I surely aint say a husband either. On purpose. Bc nope. It aint for everyone. I said someone to spend time with. And yes let Hollywood spare her bc she seems really nice.

    • i troll it like i see it

      She’s lost some weight and looks nice, then you look up to her head and it’s like seriously WTF.

    • GeekGirl627

      She has to be opened to it and gravitate towards women who feel the same way or solo if she can’t find women who do!

    • Holler If Ya Hear Me

      My husband and I lived in the same apartment complex. We met in the parking lot lol. He seen me struggling moving things into my apartment and offered to help- no strings attached. Didn’t even give him my number. Became casual friends first, he showed me around Atlanta and all the hot spots. He seen one or two exes in the process of two years. Then he made it known that he wanted to take things to another level. Marriage and three kids later (not in thst order) we still look back and laugh how everything transpired. Wasn’t looking at all and totally surprised he was in my circle the whole time.

    • justlooking

      Now this is the TRUTH! Hell sometimes I think these folks do thinks to get more work. She be running a campaign for weigh watchers next week.

      CHILE the Foolishness.

    • Mr.LeBrickJames

      It’s a man’s greatest fear too, I’d say. I read this article in the Washington Post dealing with that topic of dying alone, and it was both interesting and sobering at the same time..
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/world/wp/2018/01/24/feature/so-many-japanese-people-die-alone-theres-a-whole-industry-devoted-to-cleaning-up-after-them/?utm_term=.746199e7032a

    • Mr.LeBrickJames

      I agree. Some people are too prideful to say it.

    • Torae

      People put too much focus on relationships etc..my grandmother just turned 90 and she says dying alone is the least of her worries…she hasn’t had a spouse in 30 years….

    • Ni Ni

      Poor Leslie, she looks like an easy target to get “took” by some bum at this point?. I went through my mid life crisis around 32-36 although i only flirted. Now, I’m at my what i call my comfort stage,
      ijdgaf. Some people just have to face it…everyone is not going to be married or in relationships or have kids, esp in the world’s current state. Accept your life as it is and keep going.

    • pure_rachet

      LMAO I know how to groom but I didn’t know what a yoni was

    • Holler If Ya Hear Me

      Kendu in the bushes listening closely planning his move. Watch out Lesdogg- you social cry will get the attention of wolves.

    • MsPam

      She has to start loving herself before someone else can love her!

    • hottlanta

      So she gets in shape to get a man, he breaks her heart then she is right back where she started. My she-ro is the chick that is with her man and she orders everything on the menu desert and everything. Takes home a doggie bag and he pays. She ain’t thinking about no gym and he ain’t going no where. Imma be phune and healthy whether or not there is a man in my life or not. How many times you seen a man by his wife side crying and going on/falling all in the casket and when she dies and he has remarried 3 months later and the body is not even cold.

    • TMW

      Or too afraid to admit to themselves, let alone someone else.

    • hottlanta

      You want me to believe that you bought 4 bags of groceries for nothing. When it is time, it is time.

    • Bye Leslie!

      I thought 50 was past midlife. I was taught to stop checking for compliments way before that. Sad truth but nobody is checking for you. They assume you’re taken or too smart to fall for it. They’re looking for the youngest, dumbest, brightest eyed chick, and that’s not a bad thing. Women that age need to have validation from a man who loves them, that’s why you get married while you have the most options, because you’re not going to get it from strangers. Men aren’t checking out, or trying to holla at 50 year olds. Before a woman even turns 30, it’s time to stop chasing the latest trends, planning the outfits, imagining how good you’ll look in them, and sitting back waiting for the drinks to come and everybody to tell you how cute you are. There are so many more important things in life. I feel bad for Leslie because she’s probably been considered ugly her entire life, which she is not, and she’s probably put her career first.

    • hottlanta

      It is call needing a vacation

    • DeeFromLA

      So true, just made herself a mark

    • Debbie Downer

      Why are you so bitter and cynical? All men are not bad. Some love their wives.

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      It is. . First step to healing depression is to recognize it… Not post a saga to instagram.. . Chile … You think your followers give a damn. .. Probably not because they dealing with shyt too … Nobody is entertaining whiners chile ….

    • The Goode Queen

      Someone clearly reaches out for help….we laugh and tell her to shut up and not talk about it. Mmmkkkkaaayyyy

    • JV
    • the guest

      Because of colorism and racism, many black women will be elderly and alone.

      Colorism and racism has made black people vain and out of touch.

      In other races and cultures, particularly Asians and Indians, marriage is a standard, tradition, and expectation and not only beautiful looking model looking people get married.

      Marriage is considered a right of passage and natural necessity of life for procreation, family, and growing old.

    • ???

      Wait…you’re saying Leslie is lezzy????. You sound so certain. I don’t think she is. Lmao.

    • SweetTEE

      That lady aint going through a mid life crisis. It sounds like she wants a boo but men never approach or notice her and she feels insecure.

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      Or update at all…. I don’t post shyt on that platform … I see no point unless I’m ready to compete …. And that my dear I will never do… You did right …. Chile nothing but falacies on there… Steer clear …

    • the guest

      Leslie loves herself but the world systemically hates dark skinned black women with the exception of the conventionally pretty and exceptionally beautiful model looking dark skinned black women.

    • Stan4NoOne

      That’s not a midlife crisis… that’s someone who thinks they’re inferior because of society’s standard of beauty. Leslie, fall in love with you. The men will follow.

    • hottlanta

      Did I say ALL men. I stand by what I said. Soon as she is in the ground he is rushing down the aisle to marry someone else.

    • the guest

      Exactly.

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      absolutely correct … This is a self worth issue … We’ve all been there … But 2018 is not the time to be whimpering on instagram … Get dragged because it’s open field for mess to be shot right back to ya … Self worth .. Value thy self.. . And others will value you…. Self ..

    • Panther Charleston

      Yikes. This sounds more like suicide than a midlife crisis. Don’t do it, Leslie! To hell with who doesn’t notice you, you notice and appreciate you. ??????????

    • the guest

      Beautifully stated.

    • indano

      Prayers going up for Leslie

    • jeniefrumdabloc™

      is where the thirsty roam

    • Indies beauty

      I call that being in your feelings…. I’m always in my feelings.

      But she will be okay, there’s always one lurking in the text, in the inbox… family friend. Girl, get your man.

    • Yoni7

      OH. LOL

    • oshh16

      Not even about achievements, just finding someone heterosexual, compatible with, all about you. The many many many options for them here (DC) make a lot men feel like they don’t have to choose one when they can have many, they take the path of least resistance.

    • pure_rachet

      This is my third day off. I crashed my car, got robbed and had a death. I guess you can call it a vacation but my boss is pissed as hell and might fire me even with a doc note. He doesn’t pay me vacation time either. I’m shook.

    • Bye Leslie!

      Black men have a problem with getting married, period. In return, black women pretend they don’t want to be married.

      I get what you’re saying. White people find somebody and marry them once they get a certain age, this includes the ugliest of the ugliest and the poorest of the poor. A lot of black men are waiting for a virginal Beyoncé with an 800 credit score. In the media, all you see are black men who will only marry beautiful light skinned women or women who aren’t black at all.

      In real life, Black women like Leslie have husbands. I don’t know where she’s from but maybe she needed to move when she was younger. She’s not too “big and black” for a husband.

    • hottlanta

      There are a lot of lonely married people as well.

    • Renee26

      It’s true…too many of the guys who are stable and “good catches” are not checking for the sistas. So many sistas that got it going on but they have a hard time getting chosen by a mate…then they settle for the man that’s less than because he gives them the attention that men on their level financially and educational wise REFUSES to give them. It’s tough out here for single ladies with standards

    • the guest

      If Leslie was Asian or Indian, she’d be married with a bunch of kids. Only blacks in America base marriage on superficiality which is a result of slavery and influence from white American ideals and culture.

    • justlooking

      Yes, unfortunately many in the DMV don’t kow their worth. You can spread your legs to every Tommy, William and Henston

    • Renee26

      Off topic: I get irritated when I can’t get all the tuna outta the corners and creases of my tuna packet….my coworkers look at me like I’m crazy for scrapping the container and coming up with tiny shreds of meat on my fork LOL

    • oshh16

      True and that is worse.

    • Renee26

      LMAO

    • Oretta Grace Smith

      That’s is sad!!! In reality, we all die alone. Now, I can understand wanting a decent companion. But, until then, just love yourself. Be healthy whether one comes or not. Don’t make yourself sick. Just like children are Not for everyone. We just have to accept our destiny. We may be missing a lot of heartaches!!!

    • justlooking

      It tough, but not impossible. Many of these ladies are playing games.

      Don’t answer your phone unless he calls twice.
      First date has to be at 5 star restaurant.
      When he ready to marry me the ring has to be at least 1 carat
      I must have a destination wedding in Bora Bora

      Asking for the impossible, set goals but be honest.

    • hottlanta

      Wow glad you okay. That is a lot. This might be your moment to find a new job where you are respected. Get off Sandra and get on Indeed.

    • oshh16

      Some women get desperate/pressed then men play that against them to their advantage, that happens everywhere. You have to be wise, and have your self worth, esteem, respect in check.

    • Mr.LeBrickJames

      True. I think most women I hear saying “I don’t need a man!” actually just don’t have one and wish they did.

    • Smith Jane

      I don’t think that’s midlife crisis. I think a lot of women, of all ages, feel like this at one point. If you don’t fit the mold of beauty (physique/skin tone/etc) then sometimes, it does feel like what’s the point

    • the guest

      Women like Leslie are married in church and she’s not a church woman.

      College men, everyday professional men black or white or other in America are not looking for Leslies. They are conditioned with colorism and racism.

      Leslie’s husband and life companion is waiting for her in a black African country or a remote rural village in Nordic Scandinavia.

    • Mark mcharm

      “Marriage is the standard”, are you looking into the fact that most indian and Asian women are miserable, get beat by the husband and he is allowed to cheat in india wonen can be rap/ed and they find fault in the female. marriage is a business arrangement it was never founded in love. love is founded on love married or not.

    • oshh16

      What she really needs is the right someone for her attached to the D.

    • pure_rachet

      I think I need to leave this city. If he fires me OK. I have money saved, also have a doc note so he’d be in the wrong.

    • Smith Jane

      Exactly

    • Renee26

      Oh, those females are playing games…they can’t be serious…I will answer if I’m available; if not I will get back when I can. I prefer phone calls over text if I’m trying to get to know a guy; so if he refuses to call and just texts it may get to a point where I stop wasting my time and begin to ignore them. First date needs to be a real date, no Netflix and chill. Ring…just let him be able to afford it and it look nice. … They petty

    • Smith Jane

      Yep

    • oshh16

      How many women go round proclaiming that though? The opposite is true in my experience, they want the right man for themselves, if he exists LOL

    • shell

      This the point most women, especially us at black women, need to accept. You can love yourself and think you’re beautiful all you want, but people have choices and preferences on what they find attractive, and sadly, that determines your choices of a mate.

    • Smith Jane

      That’s rhetoric & not supported by fact. Even Indian/Asian-Americans – who were born and raised with American ideals – still uphold the most basic traditions associated with marriage. Only black women are taught to be “independent” or “strong blackr women who don’t need no man”, the con being that marriage or submission somehow automatically means the man can abuse and whup your ass. Not everyone – he’ll not even 25% of the worlds population subscribed to that nonsensical bullshit except black women

    • Bye Leslie!

      Leslie’s problem now is that she is old. When she was younger, she could have found a man in America. I don’t believe nobody wanted Leslie. There is somebody for everybody. I’m shocked she didn’t find another comedian who she could have bonded with. Also, she should have tried looking working out and looking nicer before she turned 50.

    • Scromes1212

      Lol

    • Smith Jane

      Yes

    • shell

      Truth, it’s nothing wrong admitting you want a partner in your life.

    • Mark mcharm

      Well no because the Now movement was started by white women, what is the difference between a loving relationship and marriage?

    • Smith Jane

      The only husbands waiting around for Leslie are men like Jill Scott’s ex, MJB’s ex, or Sherry Shepherds ex. Black men are vain and shallow as hell. When they reach 50, they looking at chicks under 30. Also, the standards that black men create when looking for a partner, begins with their mother. It starts in the home. Always.

    • Mark mcharm

      Marry a white man

    • Mark mcharm

      So you are saying white men will marry anything ? which you know is not true.

    • Mark mcharm

      Leslie is not looking for a man did you see her on wendy williams ? i thought she was about to kiss her go see it on yt. always blaming black men for everything

    • shell

      But black women fell for it and are not suffering the consequences. The highest rates for marriages in this country are upper middle and rich people.

    • Scromes1212

      My question is who are the people she wants to notice her? It’s plenty dudes out here that would wife her up quick.

    • Guest©

      This is why this blog stands out. The medical minutes are so informative. Thanks Sandra!!

    • Bye Leslie!

      I’m saying her chances are slim to none at this point. She should have decided she wanted to be noticed before 50. That’s strange to me.

    • Zeta Phi Beta 1920

      That right there!

    • Mark mcharm

      Do you think black women treat black men fairly nowadays

    • Junkanoo

      She should spend a month vacationing in the Caribbeaan she will be sure to find some action there. Sometimes it seems if you can look outside the country for romance do it its hard finding quality people for romance

    • free

      the beautiful ones feel it too. i feel like she had her eye on somebody specific and it didn’t work out. he ain’t interested.

    • Scromes1212

      She right in a sense. Most dudes her age live by the 80/20 rule. She gonna have to lower her standards or find her a diamond in the rough.

    • hottlanta

      Marry a white man and die in a suitcase.

    • Bye Leslie!

      What’s the 80/20 rule?

    • Knocked Kneed and Pigeon Toed

      It’s no mid life crisis all this is is a cry for the attention of whatever female shes interested in. I don’t think shes checking for men in the least bit.

    • SweetTEE

      I dont think anyone is blaming black men boo. I dont think shes gay, she likes men A LOT. She is just not the normal type that men would approach genuinely. They probably always trying to smash, period. Her personality is a bit much and she may not be whats considered attractive to most of them. She kinda lacks femininity. She knows this and she figured her fame might make it easier and it hasnt.

    • Scromes1212

      Lol it’s the rule that applies to men when they hit around 40 they start seeing how it changes up. Don’t kill the messenger lol it changes for a man at around 35. When you turn 35 if your in shape and you not broke you have about a 80% chance of smashing the moma and about a 20% chance of smashing the daughter. That’s based off the moma being around 40 and the daughter being in her 20’s. Females it’s different. There options get smaller as they get older. For a man it opens up around mid life. Just facts.

    • shun king

      and that is the harsh truth

    • SweetTEE

      100% facts. In my mind, I’m the most beautiful chocolate natural fro’wearing sista God created *giggles in hand* but when I’m with my beautiful friends who are lighter/exotic, I’m usually invisible to black men. They will approach my friends and completely ignore me so much so that my friends are now offended when it happens lol…If I were not secure in my worth, I would feel some type of way. So I can see how she can feel the way she does to a certain point. She feels invisible because she doesnt fit the Hollywood standards of beauty, even for a black woman. But men, especially black men, have real preferences when it comes to us. What can you do?

    • shell

      Honestly, I don’t think black men or women know how to treat the opposite sex. If we’re honest, we confess to our unrealistic views of love and relationships.

    • Bye Leslie!

      I’m not mad I was just curious. That’s kinda trashy, but yeah, women’s options shrink as they get older. Men’s options for genuine love shrink as well, they just don’t realize it.

    • Karen Brady

      Beautifully said Oretta.

    • Karen Brady

      If you don’t log out..

    • Karen Brady

      chuckling

    • Oretta Grace Smith

      Thank you!!!

    • Scromes1212

      It’s trashy but it’s facts. Most dudes don’t know what genuine love is. We just trying to get that old feeling back. And viagra didn’t help smh a dude with erectile dysfunction would stay with there wife prior 2000 but now he can get his grove back just from pills. So he back in the game. In mostly black areas it’s a lot of poverty. A fine young female will mess with descent looking older dude just because she looks at it as a way out. So our options changed around that time. But that’s just life smh

    • Karen Brady

      Don’t they though?!! Damn. And God bless your grandmother!

    • MsPam

      When Leslie learns self love, she needs to pass it on to you with that stupid ase comment you made!

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      Disgusting. Trying to keep it in the family? I have two daughters and I’ll beat the fuck outta someone who was trying to get with me and/or 1 of them, gross!

    • SweetTEE

      Damn right. Marriage aint the end all for everybody, but damn, it aint nothing wrong with wanting companionship, to be liked, to have a man show genuine interest. And theres nothing wrong with getting pissed bc u 50 years old and want some hard D and bubble gum and these fools acting like coochie got a face.

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      I heard Jill Scott’s husband and Kendu were available for rent for a few years. She may want to get their number.

    • Scromes1212

      You missed the point lol I’m just speaking on ages, not mothers and daughters. It’s just the fact that you in a position to have a chance with a 25 year old and a 45 year old. The mother daughter reference was just to show the range of a mans options.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      I got your point. I’m just commenting on your example. Just thinking about that is like ?

    • SweetTEE

      That hair style burns my damn grits, bc its like they are trying to purposely make her look unattractive. She needs a hairstyle that flatters her face, therefore she needs to take her ass to the hood.

    • TMW

      A lot of people are saying it’s a self-worth issue. I don’t think it’s that or a mid life crisis. I think sometimes you just look up one day after things haven’t worked out the way you’d planned and draw some conclusions about the way things might end up as you try to make peace with your life. I’ve said this same thing, not because I don’t love myself, but because it seems realistic, and the best way to make peace with a situation is to see the truth in it. The great thing is, we don’t have the last word. What God has for me, is for me. Imma wait.

    • SweetTEE

      She’s already 8 feet tall barefoot and big boned. She cant be hella aggressive too, she might be scaring them away. I just want her to be more sensual with her approach.

    • SweetTEE

      I agree and that was a really nice way to put that.

    • shell

      Yes, a lot of people fall for the ‘you don’t love yourself’ magically form of thinking. A wise person understands you can feel good about yourself and still not have things go your way and unfortunately, end up alone. Just because you ‘love yourself’ doesn’t mean everyone else does or want to.

    • RoniV

      Glad you found each other:)

    • Scromes1212

      Maybe it was a bad example but my point still stands as truth lol

    • Scromes1212

      Do you think you played a part in it? If you don’t mind me asking

    • RoniV

      My condolences on the death of someone close to you. You’ve been through a lot in a short period of time. Maybe time to start looking at other options, because if your boss is so indifferent to this situation things probably won’t get any better down the road. Blessings Sister.

    • SweetTEE

      THAT is not the 80/20 rule…ugh. The 80/20 rule is basically the realization that no one will ever be 100% of what you need and desire in a mate, because no one is perfect. The most you will have is 80%, the other 20% are things that you dont like about the person or relationship and would change if you could. People in relationships will often be so displeased with the 20% that their mate cant offer and will cheat with someone who possesses the 20% of what they WANT. The person they cheat with will gratify them for a moment, but ultimately not have the 80% that you NEED, thus people end up with less than they started out with.

    • TMW

      My husband passed away 5 years ago. My daughter is grown and away at college. Ending up alone can just sometimes be a result of the circumstances, and not anything anyone has done or caused. My part in it at this point in my life is that I don’t want a warm body just to say I have someone, so yeah, I’m making choices that may leave me alone, but ultimately at peace.

    • Scromes1212

      How you gonna dictate my sh*t lol y’all a trip. How you gonna change my sh*t up lol?

    • Scromes1212

      I can respect that. But that’s not what I think most black women’s reality is. But I can understand it in your situation.

    • Kemi

      Genuine love and companionship are hard to find! This is not about mid life crisis. This is about finding someone that have your best interest at heart. Ppl are too selfish and self absorbed nowadays.

    • Tequila Mockingbird

      Ok. I didn’t doubt you ?

    • i troll it like i see it

      I’ve thought the same thing, why go out of your way to ugly yourself? The hairstyle is like a porcupine and it takes away from her looks. So she may want to start there, that one thing may have been a turn off for some men who are interested, since she’s looking to meet someone. If she wasn’t looking to meet someone, I’d say who cares, but she is and this kind of stuff matters to men. She would literally look better with no damn hair at all.

    • Bye Leslie!

      Lol. Thanks!

      I guess that’s his version.

      That describes why most people have relationship problems. Unrealistic and never satisfied.

    • shell

      Exactly! I’ve learned this years ago and that’s now my attitude about it all. Most men value aesthetics; they won’t see your value inside until they find value in your outside. Most black men I know are married to light skin or black women with European features: wavy hair texture and slim figure.

    • NeverSurprised

      I think men in their mid-40s and up are deluding themselves if they think a 25 year old is interested in them for anything other than money. But then, men always seem to have an inflated sense of their self-worth. The only “option” the man in your scenario has is the option to open his wallet to a young woman who will turn around and spend his money on the young man she is ACTUALLY interested in.

    • Scromes1212

      Yeah because a woman would never marry a man based off money alone lol ok…

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      Part One: Okay, so I’ll chime in here about the Law of Attraction. It is very real. I use it like clock work. If my money is running low, I know I’m dealing with childhood issues of ‘lack and the belief that there is not enough’. If I am in a jam, I get honest about what I REALLY want, and then spend 20 minutes in bed before I get up in the morning, and 20 minutes in bed before I fall asleep visualizing and most importantly feeling like it is happening right at that moment. God as my witness, within days the OT comes in, the situation got handled, the window of opportunity opens up….. I live by it. With that being said, I had to learn that there were just some things that I was believing about myself, my upbringing, etc. that would always stand in the way. It wasn’t true, but I BELIEVED it was true, so it WAS true for me. Not others, but me. Once I learned HOW to change my thinking, I used the method as an antidote or a how to guide to fix things in my life. Long story short, I believe Leslie has been told all of her life that she was big, black, and ugly and no man was ever going to want her. And because she BELIEVES that, then it is a reality for HER. It’s not that men AREN’T interested in her, it’s just that she can’t get to them or them to her because of her belief. I believe if she really believed that she was pretty, or even just ‘good enough’ she would meet him. So if any of you out there reading this feels like Leslie, know that your situation can change in a matter of days, if you change your thinking and feeling about it.

    • BadAss Will

      We all felt that way before…. Stay strong and positive

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      Part 2: I just gave you a long speech, but the question you may be asking is how. What I do, and have done for the last 10 years to change my situations is this. Step by step. I’m honest with myself. If I hate my job, want another one, want love, want to be alone, want more money, don’t want money, want good health, don’t want to work out, etc. I stop lying to me and say the truth. It’s ONLY when you are honest with yourself that the energy can flow. Then I picture what it would be like to live with everything going right. How would it look like if the money were here, the person was here, the new job, etc. Then I imagine while laying in bed with eyes closed, how it would feel. I get giddy about the money, I’m excited about the love, I can see their features, I can taste their kiss, etc. The job, I see me walking into a building, it’s friendly, I’m eating lunch having fun with co-workers, etc. THE KEY: I ACT LIKE I’M ALREADY LIVING IT. I AM ALREADY IN THE NEW SITUATION!!! I do this for however long it takes, but I can see things happening within days. DAYS I tell you!!!

    • justlooking

      Chile, I had to go get me some some tea and biscuits to read this font.

      I see where you going, been and saying. I’m happily married, and prior to that and for years into my marriage I stayed far away from social media. I thank GOD that he has led me from negative people and doubtful mindset.

      Some have not taken the time to educate themselves about self worth and typically that will cause great pain for years or a lifetime. There are many ways to claim your truth and she did it in this fashion. It is what it is.

      Say it , Claim it and it will come. Last but least the day we are born we are destined to die, will all gonna be alone at some point.

    • justlooking

      LMAO

      No I was not asking, I was calling my housekeeper to see if she can come on Friday or Saturday. we gonna sleep in do the nasty and watch movies.

    • ~~eb

      No, because she may end up like Terry McMillan.

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      Part 3: The key is to know the difference between fantasy and visualization with purpose. Fantasy is wishing and day dreaming. Visualization with purpose is BELIVEING it is going to happen. Yep, when you lay in bed for 20 minutes, just act and feel like it is happening at that time. Let your doubts fall away and give yourself permission to just believe it’s true for those 20 minutes. And I promise each and every one of you, you will see the change. Things that I listen to is ‘Getting Into The Vortex’ by Esther and Jerry Hicks, it is music that puts you to sleep. “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace Wattles, “Sara, Book One”, by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and yes it’s in like a child like book, but it keeps it simple. I know I rambled on ALOT, but I hope it was worth it for any of you trying to change situations in your life. I no longer feel powerless over things in my life, because I know, I only have to start visualizing a new reality. Love and peace to you all.

    • ?Sugar&Spice?

      It’s not unusual to feel a bit down from time to time. She’ll be OK.

    • justlooking

      What strain do you smoke?

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      It’s okay, I was just still rambling. I’m just now reading your reply. LOL!!!

    • justlooking

      You funny as hell.

      Best of the Best to you Friend

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      I don’t smoke. I was just giving some info, but you were replying while I was still writing, so it seemed like I was writing to you, but I was just still rambling. This wasn’t directed to YOU in particular, it was just timing I guess. LOL! I can tell by your first reply that you got your life together.

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      Likewise. :)

    • Toni ToniToni

      Haha. Wow. Never thought about her being that way. She may get some Pitty PUSC.
      Shoulder to cry on and then it happens…or not.. Who knows.

      I hope that she can get over whatever she is going thru and come out on the happy end. Everyone deserves happiness! :)

    • Smith Jane

      Where’d I mention yt men?

    • Trace da Ace

      well if that is the case….I go through mid life crisis “events” every month around the time mother nature shows up…..I dont think she is having a mid life crisis….I think she is just lonely…..and that is understandable. Leslie needs to keep the faith cause God will send her somebody special in time.

    • Bye Leslie!

      Or she has some serious daddy issues. But she’ll grow out of that and regret wasting her youth on an old ass man who couldn’t flip her all over the bed.

    • Blue

      Why ain’t not one of Erikson’s Stages include “waiting on my direct deposit to hit”? Cause thats the stage I’m at.

    • SumthinSweeter

      lol!

    • SumthinSweeter

      Idk, but she comes across too masculine and not in reference to her looks. Her mannerisms, like no one showed her growing up how to be lady like. Plus acting desperate and this dumb ass social media attention seeking turns me the f-off. So I’m sure it turns off men too. But I guess ppl are either thirst trapping or doing this…

    • justlooking

      I’m just messing with you. Life has it’s up and downs I am Blessed

    • Ozad

      Really…she just sounds lonely and wanting someone she likes to notice her….basic stuff for people over 50…mid life crisis would be if she went and bought a expensive car, rented out a young model then paraded it on social media.

    • Toni ToniToni

      PREACH! PPL are COLD HEARTED AS A MUGG these days!

    • SweetTEE

      Yes, we just all need to be real about this. I have a close relationship with a man who is a popular professional athlete (unfortunately). We been crushing on each other since like 2004 before he went pro, but both just needed to grow. Fast forward and now he’s one of the best in the league and we know that if we would pursue something real, we would have a good change at happiness bc we are sooo compatible in multiple ways, but I know that essentially I dont fit that “mode” that his wack ass hasnt matured past yet. He would of wifed me long ago if he were regular. Even though he is uber attracted to me physically and mentally, he’s more concerned with his counterparts and their opinions ( I’ve heard a group of them talking). Aint too many chocolate, natural nappy hair, thick brick house, educated women being chosen for the dumbest shit…color struck shit. He would say that he’s still trying to make sure we’re ready but I’m not dumb..tuh…F him.

    • http://www.beautyisland.weebly.com Indigo

      So mad she mad me tear up a lil..
      *looks@ calendar

    • SweetTEE

      I so agree. She lacks sensuality and it’s a turn off. Shes already kinda Amazonian and looks like she can palm a damn basketball. But even still, coochie doesnt have face.

    • PLEASEDontTellMe
    • TheOwley

      I love your take. Leslie could find someone to make her happy and giving her love and companionship but then things happen, he starts showing douchery symptoms and then you have a Mary J. Bligh type situation, these ladies never see it coming. It’s not about playing it safe but knowing in your heart of hearts that sometimes being alone and not forcing things is a very good thing.

    • Junkanoo

      She would have a hit book and a movie she should buy her ticket immediately

    • GeekGirl627

      No up I’m saying hang out with women who are also looking to date overseas

    • Goochi

      Everybody from
      Babies to 99yr olds go through many of those signs and symptoms this is why I don’t trust all “medical bs”….that’s just stupid!!!!! She can’t just be feeling down!!!??? We gotta always have a freaking title for every little thing people in this world go through??? So stupid!!!! Dear Leslie if u see this comment, You are never alone God is always with you!!!!! And you have YOU!!! Try to appreciate your life and the gift that it is and all your accomplishments and the people even if it’s just one true friend call them and just say you need a reason to smile…. pray that God brings someone or some meaning that makes you feel fulfilled and happy just at the thought of it ????I wish her peace love clarity and blessings….no matter how famous you are it means nothing if you aren’t surrounded by genuine people that truly love you unconditionally!!! It’s so sad to know I think celebrities go through that the worst!!!???? I wonder what’s the DOCTORS TERM FOR THAT ???

    • Mister Fantastic

      That erectile dysfunction tag though…

    • Kayke

      Heartbreak on a full moon…..
      It’s 40 something songs Leslie, somewhere in there you’ll dance and feel better.

    • sheila

      wow u are so ignorant for that answer that is so untrue when i was 20yrs old and got married to a man that was 34 14yrs older than me and we were married for 30yrs until he passed away 10/2015 and it was NEVER about the money and he was a great provider and truly my best friend,,,i was going to say that u must be really young but that is not a defense u r just stupid and wrong on sooo many levels again…WOW

    • ?Royalty?

      She’s just lonely. ? The dating scene is scary as hail, with people of both sexes feeling like they won’t find what they are looking for.
      Some people aren’t meant to be alone, while some seem happier alone.
      I’ve always felt I was happiest single, but I recently realized……. I might just be commitment phobic.?

      She should be working out for her satisfaction and no one else’s. ?

    • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

      She needs to run the other way, if she see those two coming. Smh

    • NicoleZee

      How is she going through a mid-life crisis just because she wants love and a companion??? I swear I get tired of websites giving out health and mental health info unless they are licensed medical doctors. Nothing wrong with wanting companionship and nothing wrong with being single either. These days being single is a blessing for many because they don’t have to deal with the diseased garbage that’s out there. Do what is best for YOU, not for some POS criticizing you and your situation!

    • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

      “I’ve always felt I was happiest single” #metoo…lol

      Everyone who is alone isn’t always lonely. I think if you’ve experienced both sides of the coin (in a relationship/marriage and single) you know what you want, regardless if others understand it or not.

      Plus, I think once you’ve gotten to a certain age and are single, people automatically assume you are deserperate, so they think you’ll settle for or tolerate anything. NOPE! LOL.

    • NicoleZee

      Being alone is paradise, but the loneliness can be debilitating for some. We’re all different. However, no one should judge someone because they want love nor should they be judged if they want to be alone. I’m single now and I finally have a peace of mind that I haven’t had in a long time. I am not about to rush into a relationship or into another pregnancy again just because people want me to. SMDH!

    • Malcom Flex

      BUTCH. No good man wants a butch female except to play her, like scrubs do.

    • KcoolMuziq

      There are many men that are standing in line for Da Brat & Queen Latifah. Especially Da Brat.So that’s far from the truth.
      Also MCLyte just snagged a man and married him! So there is hope. Doesn’t matter.

    • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

      Smart.

    • Malcom Flex

      Lies. Not men – SCRUBS. Stop lying LOL

    • Malcom Flex

      She way butch.

    • Y’all Jealous Cuz I’m Prudy

      ??? Sandra a mess at times..lol

    • Scromes1212

      Sandra is a RN

    • NicoleZee

      An RN is not a psychiatrist. Implying someone is going through a midlife crisis is implying they have mental health issues. Plenty of people are single and want love, that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with them physically or mentally.

    • the guest

      I’m talking about the act and tradition of getting married that eludes some women because of color and race prejudice and thats not right. Every woman deserves to get married if that is what she desires and her color, race, size, should not be a negative factor. In other races and cultures marriage is mandate and expectation.

    • the guest

      Amen.

    • the guest

      White women used feminism to manipulate black women into being controlled by and non-competitive with white women. All those NOW white women including their queen Gloria Steinem had husbands and in tact traditional two parent homes for their children as they preached for black women to be single with fatherless children and on welfare.

      Nothing makes a white woman angrier than to see a married black woman with children in wedlock.

    • Scromes1212

      I notice whenever it’s a post about being a single black woman you come in the comment section and go nuts lol you think being single bothers you?

    • the guest

      Exactly.

      If black people married they would change the black economic landscape. Marriage has always been a foundation of community and building block for multi-generational stability.

    • the guest

      Speak.

    • the guest

      I hope she finds a nice 50 year old man to marry and they adopt a child and make a family. She deserves it as any other woman does.

    • SweetTEE

      Her ass go could Amber Rose bald and it would probably suit her better. That porcupine style is not the business.

    • Sleepy One

      This lady is not going through a mid life
      crisis, she wants love. There are ppl who wish they had someone to share their lives with.

    • the guest

      This is a racist colorist world. I observed what dark skinned girls went through in college. I personally would not date a man who I found to be prejudiced against my dark skinned sisters.

    • the guest

      So beautifully articulated.

    • SweetTEE

      Bc you made a WHOLE FALSE discription that has literally been discussed everywhere from tv shows to movies to relationship experts. Its all over google for Christ sake. Htf did u even comprehend it like you did? Waab

    • SkittlesDUH

      Same girl same… People try to set me up all the time or seem shocked as hell that I’m single… I was in seriously coo coo crazy relationships the past 7 yrs can I breathe for a min? Sheesh I love not having to worry about nobody else or what they like or don’t like to do.. I just do what I want ??

    • Scromes1212

      What are you talking about? I Literally made that up myself. You thought I was talking about something you seen on tv and ran with it smh that’s MY rule! How you gonna tell me the definition of MY rule smh that’s crazy

    • SweetTEE

      Mannnn she aint butch, you being mean lol. My momma is butch. Leslie just isnt whats considered attractive to men…but once again- coochie dont have a face.

    • SweetTEE

      Aint a darn thing with it. We all deserve love.

    • SweetTEE

      Probably bothers her no more that you always being an asshole bothers you *kanye shrug*. By the way you always comment, i cant guarantee your single and aint no decent coochie being thrown your way either.

    • Scromes1212

      You “can’t” guarantee I’m single? Lol was that suppose to be a diss

    • SweetTEE

      Bc the 80/20 rule already existed idiot. Google and educate yourself. How you think you came up with a rule AND discription to something that was already LITERALLY called the 80/20 rule. Should of named your dumb ass logic a different name.

    • Malcom Flex

      Yall blind she butch AF a major butch just like Whoopi some so called straight brauds are butch AF. But Brat is a butch dyke not str8.

    • MsPam

      True! The saddest part is we’re racist against one other. Until we respect ourselves no other race will respect us.

    • Scromes1212

      It’s my rule! Dam fool lol they don’t have a copyright on that name lol it’s my rule my name. Period. You just jumped out the window thinking you know something and you played yourself trying to be smart smh just can’t say you made a mistake can you smh

    • bo

      she should come back to memphis and get her a country boy

    • SweetTEE

      Ok ok so shes a butch straight woman? Waab..yo ass crazy! But i can dig it

    • SweetTEE

      Naw..an observation. I can almost guarantee you dont have the juice. Ive lurked for a while and like the old user Man, from the majority of your comments, my educated guess it that your personality would blow many women. Sahara desert coochie.

    • SweetTEE

      Keep it cute. You know damn well i meant CAN

    • SweetTEE

      Being single and kidless has been BOMB, but I can understand being at a point where you’ve had all the fun and accomplished your goals and now u want more. Like the next chapter. Im 31 and Im there now. But I aint settling for ish. Might as well stay single if it aint worth it.

    • Scromes1212

      You don’t even believe that lol my personality is my personality. Period. I can’t get a women but you a women and you been going back and forth with me since earlier today? And you replied to my comment, right? Lol I got you with the Jedi mind trick lol we go together now lol

    • SweetTEE

      You read all that and still dont understand. Its kinda sad. “Paying it forward” is not copyrighted, but most intelligent people know what it means ( or would at the least research) and wouldnt make a new definition and then say it theirs AND explain that dumb shit to other people. Lol, jump out the window into some sense.

    • Scromes1212

      If your paying it forward referred to something different then mine then it is two different things and 80/20 rule is not a common saying so that’s different. The fact remains I said it and I gave my definition. So you know I was not talking about the same thing you talking about. Period

    • kekeb

      This is a BLOG!!! SANDRA PROBABLY DID THIS FOR CLICK BAIT. y’all seen Girls Trip. Damn

    • SweetTEE

      Its been an hour! And you’s a fool.

    • Scromes1212

      Ok Bae

    • Queen B

      I went through something similar when i turned 30 y/o mainly just feeling depressed and anxious

    • SweetTEE

      Ok boo

    • NicoleZee

      Girl, complete strangers love to tell me that I need to give my son a sibling and that it’s selfish to have an only child! I’m like really??? Since when did I become the baby warehouse?!?! No thanks. The last thing I need is another baby, not on my agenda at the moment, I don’t give two shits how old I’m getting! I sent my ex packing last year and I now finally have a peace of mind. It really is nice to just be in peace not having to deal with anyone or their bullshit. I’m not against relationships, but there is nothing wrong with embracing being single and loving it. My life, my rules, my way :).

    • NicoleZee

      You must have sat in the back of the class back in the stone age when you were in school. I don’t understand your comment. If someone doesn’t want to be single, then they would just get a man or a woman. I left him and he still tells whomever will listen. If being with someone mattered that much to me, I would have stayed with him or on to the next one. I was unhappy, he was a complete idiot, so I left! No regrets. And if you dislike my comments so much feel free to block me because I sure as shit will block you. Have a lovely evening.

    • NicoleZee

      He’ll probably end up old and alone rotting in the nursing home with no one visiting him. The sickos and lowlifes always end up that way if they’re not in prison somewhere and they definitely deserve it!

    • Bye Leslie!

      I hope she does too. If she wants a child, I hope she can adopt one or marry a nice man with kids, or at her age, grandkids, or grandkids coming soon. She could love on them. I just hope she’s not running around L.A. trying to catch the eye of a man. It’s probably not going to happen. She should try a dating service that caters to her age and her income. No rich woman should be alone. Lol. Leslie better boss up!

    • Chaseboogie The Prince

      Lol

    • Bye Leslie!

      I did also. They say it’s the worst birthday. I hope so. I didn’t celebrate it, and I don’t plan on celebrating one again. I might do something big for my 35th because I certainly won’t for 40. Life is definitely less fun, but I feel so confident with myself. I feel like I know myself and I wouldn’t trade that. I spend less time on my appearance and more time on my money. I stopped going out and have get togethers at home, and my friends do the same. When I go out, I leave early before the youngins show up. I sit at a table and enjoy myself. It’s definitely different than being in your 20s. I think 30 is the new midlife. I’ve watched it happen with most of my friends. Turning 30 is the worst!

    • Bye Leslie!

      I hope you mean that. You sound beautiful! Don’t waste anymore thought on him. He doesn’t deserve you!

    • Rhyme and Reason

      Preach!!! I see it all the time, I volunteer with Seniors, and it’s quite pitiful!

      Even if some stay in their marriages, they often cheat all the way through, and then have a stroke or some illness that renders them almost helpless!

      Or worried their wives to a premature death, earned a good living and their kids WON’T put them away because they don’t have a land trust, and the nursing home will get all of his money and assets (others w/o money really perish)!

      They are often tolerated, neglected and spin their days looking out of a window or staring at a wall!

      Real Talk!

    • Rhyme and Reason

      I think it’s even more difficult for celebrities to be with themselves!

      They somehow feel entitled to have someone because they hit the jackpot in other areas of their lives, reaching heights that only a select few will!

      But, at the end of the day, we ALL still have the job of loving and taking care of ourselves! Most marriages are a sham or for conveniences (motives) of sorts, IMO!

      “Most people aren’t healthy enough to have a front row seat in your life,” according to Susan L. Taylor (Former Editor-in-Chief, Essence Magazine), let alone to be your life partner!

      This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t want to share your life with someone, being SINGLE is a circumstance that shouldn’t define you or determine your happiness!

      You have WAY too many dimensions, components, aspects, and WORTH!

      People come and people go, sometimes unexpectedly or suddenly, then what?

      Live in the fullness (your blessings) of today!

    • SkittlesDUH

      We are here >< …. People say I need to have more kids too I'm like are you gonna help pay for them or naw? I broke up with my ex of years too last year & I'm not against relationships or marriage either im just not about living for everyone else and being miserable like I see a lot of people that have rushed to get married…. They love throwing that marriage thing in your face too don't they? Lol

    • SweetTEE

      F*ck that ***** lol

    • Lovely1

      I feel like her feelings are normal. Just wish she had someone else to say it to as opposed to social media. Ya know?

    • Queen B

      You’re absolutely right! I focus more on getting money than getting dolled up. Life definitely isn’t fun bc i spend most of my time working ? Although im self employed its a discipline that u must have. I made the best out of my 30th!! Went to a really nice restaurant with family/friends and went clubbing one last time lol I got a really nice suite at the W hotel with man and ended the night very well!!!

    • NicoleZee

      My grandmother lived in nursing homes for years before she passed and I saw the same things you did. A lot of those old folks had no one and it was sad to see. But I learned a lot from the good old folks that were there, many of them are very wise and when they tell you something, you better listen. I’ve told a few people throughout my life that they will end up that way because your attitude and how you treat others matters more than you think. No one wants to deal with a nasty, stank attitude person, it makes me see red anytime I meet someone like that. I really commend the good people that work and volunteer in nursing homes like yourself. I’ve seen how ugly things can get and I have seen some old people treat the staff lie dog shit, couldn’t be me. Hitting, kicking, calling nurses the N-word, some of those old people don’t even deserve to be in the home!!! SMDH!

    • NicoleZee

      You are so right, we have to live for OURSELVES, not other people. I have never ever in life had issues being single, other people seem to be uncomfortable with me being this way as if I’m upset about it. WTF??? I’m introverted, so you best believe any time that I can get alone is paradise. Alone time is hard with a toddler, but I do get it when I can. I’m used to the comments and questions by now, but if someone catches me on the wrong day they might get these hands and get cursed out! LOL! So when people make comments or ask about me getting married, having another baby, who is my baby daddy, what is my baby mixed with, is my baby black, etc., I mainly try to ignore it and not let it get to me. Thankfully, I live in Georgia, they put needles in arms here, so that’s enough to make me calm down from my temper any day of the week!!! No one is worth my freedom, I have a child to raise and my own life to finish!

    • Rhyme and Reason

      Thanks!

      The one thing most say, “If I had known I’d live this long, I would have taken better care of myself or did things differently,” like NOT messing up their home, causing so much pain!

    • WiserWords2

      Sandra left out a more likely cause–menopause. Around 50, fluctuating hormones can wreak havoc emotionally.

    • Lorenzo Chaps

      She wants a guy in her life. I feel bad for people, mainly women, like her who think no one will want them. I’ve heard so many people call her ugly. It doesn’t help hearing that when she has possibly felt that way her entire life. Guys would sex her and probably do all kinda disgusting stuff to her and she’d allow it cuz hell, who knows when she’ll have intimacy again? I’m probably reaching, but Leslie is hurting badly.

      We used to laugh until it was realized she’s seriously throwing herself at the different guys. IDK what that’s like to not be wanted and FEEL it. I really don’t. I know how it feels to like sm1 that doesn’t like you back, but I think for LJ, it’s deeper. It’s almost like she has no options.

    • Cannelle

      So many people call her ugly without acknowledging that the standard of beauty in our countries does not work in her favor. I do not believe that she cannot find anyone; I’ve seen all types of people with mates. ALL types. But it is harder when you don’t match the standard of beauty that favors white skin, long hair, tall, thin, no disability, etc.

      I don’t know this lady’s circle. She is rich and famous but I wonder if she has tried her options with non-American men. Cultural standards vary.

    • Cannelle

      Aww, I’m sorry you feel that way. When I turned 30, I wasn’t in the best spot either, but more due to professional issues frequent with people in our generation and less to do with getting over the 30 hump.
      I’m nearly 35 now, and I don’t feel particularly old and I don’t have less fun because I live abroad and travel so there is always something new. But I understand you feelings. I wonder if a lot of these feels have to do with society pressuring us to always work towards/have the best, and when that doesn’t work out at the age we anticipate, there is a spiraling depression that follows. Society also puts too much value on being and attempting to stay young, especially since if you don’t die, you get older! And most human beings are not in their 20s.

      I don’t have any answers, I just try to be thankful for what I do have, including health. I think of people who cannot even get out bed and leave the house because of some ailment, and the fact that I can helps calm me.

    • Cannelle

      Well said Nicole! Best comment.

    • Guess

      If the William sisters can find someone so can Leslie. She need more confidence men love confidence and can smell it a mile away. She is not ugly and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Good luck Leslie.

    • Cannelle

      I agree. Confidence is the key. It is hard to have confidence when the world keeps trying to break you down. It is hard to have it, when you aren’t taught as a child to love yourself. I know the feeling, but I am married now (somehow, lol). It is possible.

    • SweetTEE

      Oh I do, in fact, if anything would ever transpire between us, it would be bc I planned it & I’m 100% sure I would be grimy just bc they got me messed up :)

    • Lunatic Frank

      what many are not addressing is this many of these educated sistas struggle in the dating department mainly because they are not conventionally attractive.

    • Lunatic Frank

      its not gonna be easy