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Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms recently commented on her strained relationship with her eldest son, Lance Bottoms, 16. Mayor Keisha and her husband share 4 children - 3 boys and a girl.

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In the caption of a photo of Lance with his prom date, the mayor wrote: "16 today and headed to the prom. WOW, WOW, WOW.... I've heard my sweet baby boy will like me again in about 5 years."

Her story is similar to millions of parents whose sons are going through puberty. The boys become moody and cantankerous. Gone is the little boy who was once the apple of his mommy's eye.

Some of the parents who follow the mayor on Instagram empathized with her and assured her that this is just a phase her eldest son is going through.

But why do children turn on their parents when they hit puberty?

The Parent/Child Relationship is Only Temporary

The Bible says the parent-child relationship is only temporary. The husband-wife relationship is the permanent one. All children are born into this world with one common purpose in life: to ensure the survival of the human race through procreation. The human body is specifically designed for that purpose.

There are 2 stages that a child must go through in order to achieve their purpose in life.

1. Puberty

Puberty is the physiological process in which a child's body matures into an adult for the purpose of reproduction. This is the stage when boys and girls become sexually active and girls are capable of being impregnated. Puberty is triggered by a rush of sex hormones that causes physiological changes in the body.

2. Leaving Home

Sex hormones causes physiological changes in the body. But they also cause emotional changes in the brain. The child-parent relationship becomes tense as the son begins the process of separating from his parents, becoming independent and ready to raise his own family.

At this stage the teenage child rebels against the authority and dependency on their parents. It is necessary for the child to leave the parents in order to become a mature, independent adult with a family of his own.

The Bible says: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

The Bible also says that in order to cleave to his new wife, a man must respectfully leave his parents.

"Leaving your home does not mean you permanently withdraw and no longer have a good relationship with your parents. That's isolating yourself from your parents, not leaving. The commandment in Exodus 20:12 to honor your parents means that when you leave them, you need to go with respect, love, admiration, and affirmation for their sacrifices and efforts in raising you."

"But you must make a break from them and sever your dependency on them. As time passes, you must be diligent to prevent any reestablishment of dependence at critical points in your marriage.” (Dennis and Barbara Rainey).

Read more at Marriagemissions.com.

Photos by Paras Griffin/Getty Images, Instagram.com

  • http://welfareinfo.org angrysolo

    root little piggy and fly

  • Aquaman evolved

    `This only happens in countries ruled by Neanderthals.Africa don't have this problem as a whole.

  • chan chan

    Where is his dad

  • TransMichelle

    This is not true of all "teens." But boys today are in trouble period. The way they're emasculating boys/men today, this boy hardly stands a chance.

  • Yardgirl

    Saturday post!! Halleluewyer!!! Thanks Miss Sandra!!
    https://media2.giphy.com/media/OnKlrHN7Decko/giphy.gif

  • DroneRivers

    Is this more common with boys and their mothers? I remember Wendy Williams crying about this on her show a few years ago.
    I think it might be kinda normal as kids try to flex their independence and figure out who they are and parents (especially moms) come to grips with having to let them go.

    Off-topic: There has been another mass shooting. This time in El Paso, Texas. At least 18 dead.

  • Jai

    You mean her husband? Because write up states "Mayor Keisha and her husband share 4 children - 3 boys and a girl". So her husband is around if that was point you tried to make

  • Virgoqween

    I feel like it’s not so much that they don’t like their parents as much as they just want separation and since they used to be all up under you it feels like a major rejection.

  • Jai

    I think seeking independence is a phase. We all went through it, has nothing to do with outgrowing bond or temporary parental bond. Humans desire a certain level of independence, some more than others. But in end teens still love their parents and as they get older they can understand and comprehend the purity of that love better especially if they become parents or care/nurture another person.

  • hottlanta

    19 people dead after shooting in Texas today. Dayum shame.

  • the guest

    Amen.

    Thank you.

  • the guest

    Happens only where disrespect of elders is socially encouraged.

    This does NOT happen in Africa, Asia, India, South America, or even Europe.

    This disrespect and rejection of parents and elders is only considered normal in the United States of America, except for Hawaii where they put family first and take care of their parents and elders.

    Black people used to be the American face of respecting and taking care of elders but that time is long past. The way black kids are today, they'd leave their parents in slavery and run north for self and never look back.

    Respecting, honoring, and at least politely communicating with their parents has never stopped any young man in history from getting laid, a job, or married.

  • the guest

    My heart breaks for Mayor Bottoms.

    Her son is rude not rebelling.

    This only only where disrespect of elders is socially encouraged.

    This does NOT happen in Africa, Asia, India, South America, or even Europe.

    This disrespect and rejection of parents and elders is only considered normal in the United States of America, except for Hawaii where they put family first and take care of their parents and elders.

    Black people used to be the American face of respecting and taking care of elders but that time is long past. The way black kids are today, they'd leave their parents in slavery and run north for self and never look back.

    Respecting, honoring, and at least politely communicating with their parents has never stopped any young man in history from getting laid, a job, or married.

  • Aquaman evolved

    once again This only happens in countries ruled by Neanderthals

  • jeniefrumdabloc™

    New moon and yet another ritual ... shyt is sick .....

  • Madashelle

    I read the title, I thought the story would be about he cut her off - period. What she is going through is normal. Parents always talk about "the terrible twos" and "puberty".

    He'll be alright in a couple of years.

  • Kanyade

    ?

  • Lorenzo Chaps

    Click Bait. I thought something happened, Sandra. I think about my brothers and I. We didn't go through this, from where Im sitting. Now my youngest brother was always a diq to his mom (all have same no good daddy).

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Good. It didn't happen to you. But it does occur in other families, including mine.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    He cut her off emotionally. She was heartbroken enough to open up about it on social media. That wasn't her only comment on the subject on Instagram.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    He's going through puberty. How do you know about the behavior of hormonal teens in Africa, South America and Asia?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    This happened to my nephew. He was my little buddy. We went everywhere together. Then he hit puberty and he acted like I was a stranger to him after that.

  • Tammie Reed

    I know this ALL too well! lol!

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    I updated my post with a photo of her husband and children. Keisha fortunately married a good family man who shares the same values.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    I had time today! ?

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    I updated my post.

  • Virgoqween

    Aww I didn’t hang with my favorite aunt from like 16-25 now I’m with her almost every weekend (29)

  • Yardgirl

    And we appreciate it!!

  • pure_rachet

    When did boys start getting breasts during puberty?

  • ClaireHuxtable

    Fast food, plastic, poisoned water...

  • Chicagowise

    This phenomenon is not restricted to males. My parents had a horrible time with sisters. I, on the other hand, always enjoyed spending time with my parents and elders.

    However, this is one side of the story. Maybe there's a good explanation for her sons' behavior. Maybe there's an issue with her parenting skills. You can't take a one-size-fits-all approach to raising your children.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    "This only happens where disrespect of elders is socially accepted."
    Americans want everything fast or faster. We don't put a premium on Wisdom and old age.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    There should be No assault weapons sold in the United States.

  • ClaireHuxtable

    I don't understand why the average citizen needs a gun that sh00ts more than 6 bullets at a time.

  • the guest

    Travels and studies.

    For a child to completely sever emotionally ties from a parent is extreme and it is unfortunately condoned in America.

  • https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OSQR_GpCtEo ? Balance & Chaos

    Those are the most raggedy looking kids I’ve ever seen. They look like street urchins that will rob you if you’re not careful lol ?.

  • Madashelle

    I'd keep my eye on the one in the middle. He looks like he's pissed off about something. But with the older one - she may wanna keep her bedroom door locked. He looks like he may assassinate the family. Just joking ?

  • Alextra Ballard

    I remember Wendy cry’n? and breaking down on national t.v.because she felt Lil Kev was growing up and no longer needed her....she also felt he was distancing himself. I didn’t take Wendy seriously but I guess it really is a serious issue.

  • KcoolMuziq

    No Wendy straight out said her son didn't like her.

  • Allergic2dumbstuff

    The first I've ever heard of this is when I caught an episode of Wendy and she was talking about how her son didn't like her. Good to know (in most cases) it's just a phase.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    She seems like a good mom. She is very fond of her middle son, Langston. She dotes on him. Sibling rivalry, maybe?

  • Alextra Ballard

    Well damn.... I aino that!?

  • Alextra Ballard

    Folks tawkin bout it’s an hormone imbalance. Yew see more boys with breast now than yew did ten yrs ago.

  • KcoolMuziq
  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Unfortunately, a lot of Black women use their sons as substitutes for their boyfriends. When the boy wants his independence, it's difficult for clingy moms to let go.

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Hell girls too ??

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Yep see it all the time some women make their sons totally dependent upon them so much so they don’t know how to function in a relationship and they often take it out on the woman

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    When the amounts hormones in the food changed

  • Seldomseen

    Interesting family photo, with him off on his own and the rest of the family linked by physical touch. Is that his biological dad?

  • TheWildChild

    Very interesting read? but ? Are these her biological children or adopted? Just curious. I wonder how involved is the father? Seems like Mayor K is wearing both hats.

  • IyanlaVanzantoftheInterWebs
  • Dun Dilly

    I need MORE backstory on their relationship. It's NOT like a teen to totally "cut off" his mother without some sort of childhood trauma.

  • http://batman-news.com Roderick2011

    Auntie is quoting the Bible.

    Say it ain't so.

  • Yup, I said it

    Its it part of the evolutionary process. Psychology explains it that puberty causes the child to become more of an asshole so that the parents push the kids out the nest. Momma birds will push a baby bird out of the nest force them to fly. That is because if the baby bird will outgrown the nest and fall to the ground if they don't leave. Lawd knows some of these mothers have no respect for their sons and handicap them from becoming men

  • OvertheMississippi

    Nahhhh! That sh!t ain't normal. My son will be 17 next week, and he has always adored his mommy. He has a lil attitude just like me when he doesn't wanna be bothered, but it's abnormal for boys to turn on their moms at this age. NOPE!

  • OvertheMississippi

    THANK YOU! Boys adore their mommies.

  • Malificent

    Yes they do handicap their sons. The man I had my child with is in his 30’s and refuses to marry me or be a family with me and his child because his mother discourages it. She thinks her son is her man and he gets all his emotional support from her and only does things she approves of because he’s still seeking her love and approval. Smh. Such a shame. I don’t think it will end until the day she dies and I’m not wishing it upon her I’m just saying.

  • Malificent

    Good question!

  • Malificent

    Yes Sandra! Thank you for this post because I’m experiencing this now. The father of my child keeps saying he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else and this is a man in his 30’s and a father. His mother had him very young and I guess they grew up together and she treats him like her man. He eats up all the attention she gives him because he never got it as a child. I want to be with him because we have a child together. He runs from all the normal regular things people grow and strive for in life. His mother is always talking about what she never had in her life so I guess because no one married her he shouldn’t marry anyone else. He feels very obligated to her. I don’t know what to do. Please advise me Sandra.

  • Malificent

    Or run from a relationship

  • Malificent

    Me too!

  • Malificent

    Thank you for this and the website. God is always right on time. Im going thru something similar. My child’s father told me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else because he can’t deal with the changes. He doesn’t want to get married or have anymore kids. When we’re together it’s all good. I think it’s his mother. When he comes over to visit she tells him not to stay too long and who knows what else she tells me. All I know he runs from commitment and when we’re moving like a family unit it scares him. What do you suggest?

  • Rhyme and Reason

    This is sad, but it happens, quite often for different reasons!

    I see it with family members, and sometimes the resentment intensifies for years! Boys or men, never resent or dislike dads nearly as much!

    Many mothers stunt their son’s growth and development, as this older guy told me , “Black women love their sons to death!”

    And, no woman is good enough, especially if he loves her, and doesn’t abuse! They discourage marriage, and doing for their children if they don’t like the mom!

  • Aquaman evolved

    The white man's book that they stole from our ancestors,also says you shouldn't be g!@y Sandra!

  • Aquaman evolved

    but we're not birds though.

  • Pamela

    My nephew is currently acting like this towards me. He's 12. It hurts so much. It's comforting to know that he's otherwise a good, loving kid, and that would hopefully never change.

  • Aquaman evolved

    "Some" black women turn black men g!AY by cuddling them too much.Some black women don't know how to raise a boy into a man,however, this is all the black mans fault.

  • Pamela

    Damn??

  • Solstice

    Chile… ??

  • Pamela

    She and her husband make a perfect team. They adopted all 4 of their adorable children.

  • Madashelle

    I was wondering why they did not look alike.

  • the guest

    The oldest son looks like her.

  • the guest

    I noted that too. Also he is minority color wise in the family and he looks most like her. I wonder if he is biracial or mixed race and wanting to meet his birth parents and families?

  • Yup, I said it

    Right, birds are more evolved.

  • 6ue$$imh8n

    EXACTLY !! There are more cases not only boys but, girls tookilling their parents. Black ones. These kids are doing more than goung through puberty these.

  • 6ue$$imh8n

    Was he like that before you got with him? Are you going to wait around for your man to use his own mind?

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    Frankly, from what I've seen, girls are worse. They become much more distant and emotionally detached from their parents during the teenage years.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    I understand she's probably going through a lot with her son, but putting that on social media just doesn't seem very smart to me. I wouldn't be putting my family business out there for public consumption.

  • Seldomseen

    Oh ok, they are beautiful children

  • Chicagowise

    Do all her children have the same father?

  • Faithz

    Thank You for the Truth!!!

  • Faithz

    Cosigns You!!!!

  • Logan Roberts

    Thank you. He's really gonna hate/dislike her now.

  • Logan Roberts

    Well that's a chance you take with kids, biological or adopted. They can be ungrateful brats provoked or not ?

  • The Vet

    My son’s mad at mom stage lasted like a couple of hours a day for a couple of months. They have always been moma’s boys. My husband is a moma boy so he doesn’t mind it. I love them so much. Now there sister, Whoooooo.

  • Robert lee Bennett OG

    6 bullets no fun at the gun range

  • Tee Tee

    I don't know about this. I have 2 sons one is 16 on his way to the 11th grade he has NEVER been disrespectful, he tells me he loves me everyday with a hug and kiss. My 10 year old son is the exact same way.
    Maybe I was just blessed with 2 amazing kids?

  • guest

    The family pic speaks volume.

  • Shamwow

    It also takes a level of understanding. Just because he’s 16 doesn’t mean he’s a sit and shut up kind of child. Bottoms need to communicate with her boy. Ask him what upsets him. Communication can help them through his changes. Not saying she has to accept his stuff but understand what’s going on with your boy.

  • speakinmymind

    They are all adopted.

  • butterscotch

    ? hilarious cuddling a child makes them grow up to be physically and sexually attracted to another man?

  • speakinmymind

    Leave his ass. You're putting way more focus on him than yourself and your child. That is your first priority. As long as you stay and take it, nothing will change.

  • speakinmymind
  • speakinmymind

    You were blessed and so are those who are having struggles their children. Their not any less blessed or their kids any less amazing than yours. ??

    #closedminded

  • Tee Tee

    Chile bye you're seeking an argument

  • http://thedevereauxshow.com Ms.Devereaux

    Yep you are correct !!!!! Not a lie told

  • Hazel

    Thank you! A kid's personality isn't always a reflection of the parent. My son was standoffish in high school, now he calls me 3 three times a day. Just always be patient and understanding, but firm. And NEVER say anything you'll regret later.

  • Hazel

    No they don't. Perhaps the kids were tired of taking pictures and ready to go home!

  • SG

    People put any and everything on social media. I expect that from young people but grown folks are just as bad. Gone are the days of not putting your business in the street.

  • Hazel

    Although the teen years can be tough, I have to say, when you adopt a child, you have the added concern of more serious genetic mental issues about which you might not be aware. I'd be sleeping with one eye open...

  • Scromes1212

    Young dudes start to get older and there feelings aren't based off emotional attachment anymore. It's easier to see mom may not be who you thought she was mentally. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you the same. The things she put in your head maybe about your father are other people around you may not have been based in truth but more her emotions. He will adjust but this doesn't help smh he was probably enjoying his prom weekend just chilling and now he got to answer questions about his mom smh

  • Goodii2Shoes

    Lord. Meeting the men who momma's think she number one til he married is a psych story! SMH. I'm looking at some mom's like "if u arent offering him fellatio, intercourse and a date to look at while clubhopping this bxtxh, u second after she 18 or a weirdo giving the world another lose to raise "! ugh
    ?

  • Goodii2Shoes

    Lol, some heauxz are birds.(according to modern slang) Just without wings and the good sense the animals have

  • currvalicious

    Exactly. I hate when people comment like their shut is so perfect. And just b/c someone else may be having struggles somehow they're doing something wrong. They're less blessed, less fortunate,... Yada,yada...

  • http://yourpushfactor.com/ Sheila Makena

    I'm African. We are not immune to assholes for children in these parts, trust me! It may not be as rampant as it is out there, but I don't have to look that far to find children who mistreat their parents.

  • Goodii2Shoes

    If the risks of child support, single Parenthood, and or the COSTS of children don't make you disinterested in having children, teenagers will lol

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    Yes. Her husband, Derek Bottoms.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    It's just a phase he's going through on his journey to manhood. He will be fine once his body adjusts to the testosterone.

  • http://sandrarose.com SandraRose

    I suggest counseling for both of you. It sounds like he has a lot of aggression bottled up inside him. Also, read this link >> https://marriagemissions.com/respectfully-leaving-your-father-and-mother/

  • Malificent

    Thanks!

  • Malificent

    No he wasn’t but this was the first child for both of us. I’m not going to wait around I’m already on the prowl. I’m so mad I just picture myself telling him I met someone else and I’m getting married so he can hurt like I hurt. I just wish he would wake up and do right. I’m ready though for someone who wants me.

  • abby500

    Thank you thank you THANK YOU! And who knows what those children are really doing

  • abby500

    No she just checked u and dropped the mike. And so am I...#next

  • Tee Tee

    You think so lmao????

  • 6ue$$imh8n

    Ok that's good.

  • Chicagowise

    Thanks. That helps create a much clearer picture.

  • Jeffery Allen

    Peace....Thank You!!!! Especially as the Mayor of a city!! I understand that she’s trying to remain a leader by being one w the masses but this social media shit has become the new language!

    (If this saying, social media is the new language) is used without acknowledgement and/or financial gain, then it is not to be used and those that violate this agreement are subject to lawsuit)

  • yvette46

    Not always the case.. Parents can be devious especially some Mothers one way in front of folks at home totally different story..

  • KarmaBackAround

    Idk..me and my husband were jus sayin our boys will probably never leave the house lol those lil things are spoiled rotten!

  • Applebootay

    Damn....I need to send this article to my 26 yr. old son who won't leave!!

  • Rita

    Awww I love your comment.

  • Rita

    Totally agree Shamwow totally.

  • Rita

    Mr.LeBrickJames your my bro...I always read your comments from here to MT0.

  • Mr.LeBrickJames

    Thank you for the kind words, sister.

  • Queen B

    Idk someone needs to take a DNA test

  • MistaO

    You might just be a self absorbed b itch! ? Females are quick to blame errr body and anything (puberty) for s hit that's more than likely due to some ole foolery they spilling onto their kids....see dumb mommy getting two daughters killed for example!

    Looking at that picture none of these kids look remotely happy. Maybe sit your asses down for a minute and try to be an actual mother and your kids just might have a better impression of you. Oh, but that would require putting someone else before you and a new pair of shoes won't cut it??

    The average mother today is worthless, yea I said it!