Over the weekend 'Saturday Night Live' aired an unfunny skit featuring SNL's Maya Rudolph as Beyonce, and singer Justin Timberlake as musician Bon Iver. In the skit, Beyonce and Jay Z are visited by their quirky celebrity friends, such as Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift, who stop by to see their daughter -- or son -- Blue Ivy.
Now we know why Beyonce was in the hospital for so long in January after her surrogate allegedly gave birth to her baby, Blue Ivy. Last night, Beyonce stepped out in public for the first time to attend her husband Jay Z's concert at Carnegie Hall. It was her first public appearance since the baby's birth. No one outside of the Metropolitan New York area even knew Jay Z had a concert last night. Which is a strong indication of the media's decreasing interest in him.
It is obvious from these pics that Beyonce had recent breast enhancement surgery. Beyonce wore a red dress with a plunging neckline so the paparazzi could get good shots of her padding, in a desperate attempt to fool the public into believing she's breast feeding. How pitiful is Beyonce? Well, you won't have time to come up with an answer because the attention whore will be in our faces every day for the next few months -- until the paparazzi grows tired of seeing her.
Rapper-turned-comedian Snoop Dogg gives sound advice to hopeless romantic Kris Humphries, who followed his heart -- and not his brains -- when he married narcissist Kim Kardashian in a made-for-TV wedding last year.
It's not entirely Kris' fault. It's a holdover from evolutionary days that some men lose all common sense when they are in the presence of a pretty woman.
In another video making the rounds on the Internet yesterday, rapper Young Jeezy, weighed in by saying he would rather die than marry a Kardashian. We're sure he meant Kim, not Khloe.
Yesterday, one of my Twitter.com followers informed me that comedienne Roseanne Barr went IN on Beyonce and President Obama for disrespecting Etta James while she was alive. It seems Miss Barr took offense to Obama giving Beyonce the honor of performing Etta's classic "At Last" for his first dance.
Miss James herself expressed outrage at the snub. Particularly since Beyonce did such a horrible job of singing. Everyone agreed that Miss James would have done the song more justice than fame whore Beyonce.
But Roseanne Barr settled the score for Etta on Saturday when she tweeted:
"i have not listened to anything beyonce or jay z has said or recorded since they did that to Etta. Their arrogance was disgusting."
Roseanne also dissed Beyonce's singing, her lacefronts and her fake azz all in one classic tweet!
Naturally, Beyonce's deranged Stans, who have nothing else to do with their boring lives, came for Miss Barr on Twitter with all the ferocity and venom of a pitbull with rabies.
And Roseanne pushed back!
She didn't mince her words either! She let those fools have it with blasts from both barrels of her B*tch Be Gone shotgun! I wish I could have gotten in on the fun on Saturday. But it's never too late to show Beyonce's Stans for the desperate, lonely, psycho losers that they all are.
After the break, I have compiled more of my favorite Roseanne Barr tweets for your entertainment pleasure. Enjoy!
On Monday night, VH1 aired the much-anticipated "fight" between newcomer Erica Mena and Juelz Santana's bustdown, Kimbella Vanderhee. As with Kimbella, Erica was introduced to the cast by Jim Jones' manager, Yandy Smith, aka Don King. It is no coincidence that both women immediately began snatching wigs within 5 minutes of meeting each other.
By now we are all familiar with how these "reality" shows work. Each show has totally scripted "fight" scenes that usually commences when one cast member tosses water on the other one.
But according to Erica, her fight scene may not have been totally scripted. In fact, Erica claims that she was caught completely by surprise, and she thinks she was set up by VH1.
Steve Harvey's best-selling book Think Like A Man has been turned into a movie with a star-studded cast. The movie is about 4 womanizing men whose girlfriends start reading Harvey's book -- and taking notes. The men get together and plot a strategy to turn the tables on the ladies by reading the book as well, so they know what they're up against.
Think Like A Man stars Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall, Taraji P. Henson, Jenifer Lewis, Terrence J, Meagan Good, with cameo appearances by Keri Hilson and La La Anthony. Watch the trailer for Think Like A Man after the break! Think Like A Man is in theaters March 9!
They say there is someone for everyone in this world, and it seems that former NBA star Shaquille O'Neal has found his perfect match in former reality TV personality, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander ('Flavor of Love'). Hoopz works out regularly, but carrying a 400-pound man on her back while balancing herself on 5-inch heels is a feat in itself. She should be commended for that.
It's highly doubtful that Shaq's ex-wife and baby mama, Shaunie O'Neal, would have given Shaq a ride on her back the way Hoopz did on Jimmy Kimmel Live show on Tuesday. Shaunie seems a little too stiff to bend over for any man to ride her back. But true love is expressed through actions, not just words. It is abundantly clear that Hoopz and Shaq share a special kind of love for each other. Good for them!
Watch the video after the break. Animated gifs courtesy of VH1 blog.