Every time I watch this video I fall out laughing!
Posts Categorized: comedy
Struggling R&B singer Trey Songz is never at a loss to find ways to embarrass himself. If he isn't releasing homemade videos bragging about his (imagined) sexual exploits, then he's faking romantic liaisons with a blogger.
All of this is of course a desperate attempt to promote his new album and to cover up the fact that he reportedly goes both ways.
I am in possession of an email from a man who claims he once played hide the beef with Trey in an Atlanta hotel room. But I won't publish that email since the snitch wanted me to buy the cell phone photos of their sordid romp in the sack. Sorry, I'm not TMZ. If I'm going to spend my last dime on photos, it certainly wouldn't be spent on ol' butter teeth Trey Songz.
Anyway, the only reason I'm making a post about this bore is because he once again brought shame to his family name by lying about his prowess in the sack in an interview with Honey magazine. Somebody should sit this queen down and explain to him that men who CAN don't brag about it. They show and prove.
Trey discussed his worst moment in the sack (we're assuming this was with the aforementioned blogger):
"This girl threw up on me. She couldn't take the d*ck." Trey claims it happened twice so it couldn't have been an experienced groupie.
Trey also talks about his favorite sex game, which sounds frighteningly similar to the sex game that left "Kung Fu" actor David Carradine dead:
"I like to choke girls right before they cum, but you gotta continue hitting it at a rapid momentum. And I like girls that can take the whole d*ck."
Apparently, Trey also likes the boys that can take whole d*ck since this is a sex game that is very popular within the gay community. Not so much among heterosexuals.
To prove my point, I spoke with several female friends who are more knowledgeable about these things since I have no experience in that area. And they told me that if a man ever tried to choke them out at any point during sex they would jump up and deliver a savage beat down that would land his butt in a hospital emergency room. Maybe that's what happened to Trey's jacked up teeth?
Photo by Prince Williams/ATLPics.net
This old Mad TV skit is still hilarious after three years!
The Real Foreclosed And Bankrupt Housewives of Atlanta road show rolled into Atlanta last night for a premiere party at the W Hotel. The guests who attended the event are the types who slow down and crawl past multiple car pile ups on the highway. Never mind that by the time they get to the wreckage there's nothing left to see because the mangled bodies have been covered up or transported to the hospital.
In the case of the road show at the W Hotel last night, the bodies were still there for all to see. But instead of being covered in blood, they were draped in designer rags (with the tags still attached). In every picture they grinned and primped and preened -- all the while hoping not to spill anything on their designer rags so everything can go back to the boutique for a full refund.
It was harder deciding who to feel sorry for: the "housewives" who think they're celebrities because they display their dysfunctional lives on national TV for the world to see, or the well-heeled guests who flocked to the road show to sweat out their perms so they could have something to tell their friends.
I won't be watching the Real Foreclosed and Bankrupt Housewives Of Atlanta when it premieres because I don't find scripted ghetto buffoonery entertaining at all. But the show will probably garner high ratings because, sadly, we're in a recession and the hoodrats have a need to escape into a world where the ghetto fabulous hoodrats on TV are more pitiful than they are.
Tameka Cottle turned heads with her HAWT Louis Vuitton bag! It's a shame when another reality TV star outshines you at your own party
WE'RE HAVING FUN NOW
Tameka Cottle, left, and Antonia Carter, stars of The Tiny and Toya Show, already have the highest rated reality series in BET history
MORE pics from the party after the break!
If you don't follow Lil Duval on Twitter.com, you're missing out on the best comedy online.
Click below to see the Stephon Marbury video
This unbelievably corny video of a wedding party dancing down the aisle has garnered over 6 million views on YouTube. I can't believe a priest agreed to participate in this foolishness. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Thanks to loyal reader LaShawn for the link!
Radio and TV personality, LaLa Vazquez thought her baby daddy Carmelo Anthony of the Denver Nuggets was having too much fun in the ATL. So she flew in to be by his side when he went out for a night on the town last night. Even though LaLa used to live and work in Atlanta, I'm guessing she forgot that the down low men here ain't thinking 'bout her and will take her man while she's not looking.
My source told me that one dude gave Carmelo one of those "knowing glances" and LaLa shot him a "Don't make me go in my purse" look! Click the link to see the drama!
Hi-res footage of LeBron James getting dunked on by Jordan Crawford, a teenage hoop star at his own NIKE camp. Word has it that NIKE reps went through the stands confiscating footage of the devastating in-yo-face dunk because they feared it would ruin LeBron's pristine image. Either that or LeBron -- being the crybaby that he is -- ordered them to do it.
Ad attacking Barack Obama's "mama" jeans.
If you are waiting for me to post my summary of the BET Awards that aired last night, you should know that I only watch awards shows on rare occasions. Last night was not one of those rare occasions.
For me, awards shows jumped the shark a long time ago. I can't bare to watch the buffoonery any more. There was a time when awards shows were actually entertaining. But this was when the music industry was still a profession instead of a sideshow, and stars were actually people with talent.
Anyway, loyal reader Krysi J has a brief summary of last night's events. I hope this helps if you missed the show last night:
Krysi J Says: We gon start it off wit Jamie [Foxx]… he was a damn jerk the whole time and I LOVED IT.. Especially when he tried to put that big man booty in those tight Mike outfits…LOL! The jokes were pretty good too, and tasteful.
Keri [Hilson] did her thing before the end where she almost messed up… But I can’t take away from her for the running out of breathe struggle cuz shyt almost errbody struggled tonight except for B….. which leads me my next performance summary...
I’d like to start by first saying…. what the hell was B talking/singing about….and WHY?
MORE BET Awards review by Krysi J after the break!
Flamethrower Dwight Eubanks gives NeNe Leakes a lesson on the art of bottle poppin' in this short clip from the 2nd season of RHOA.
The scene opens with NeNe showing Dwight her newly leased or rented digs that she was able to afford with a portion of the $168,000 check she got from Bravo (I hear she blew through that check and the money is gone now).
While watching this clip, a thought occurred to me that I could be living large like a fake millionaire as well.
There are so many foreclosed mansions and mini mansions in the Atlanta area that are just sitting there empty. I bet I could rent a 5,000 sq. ft. crib like NeNe's for less than $1800 a month. I'm going to look into that.
According to EURweb.com, soon-to-be divorced gold digger Tameka Foster-Raymond inadvertently sent a private tweet dissing her attorney to famed attorney and former talk show hostess Star Jones on Twitter.com. But the tweet that Foster thought was private ended up on the public timeline for all to see.
"On Wednesday, Foster performed a notorious twitter snafu when she inadvertently posted a message to Star Jones on her public page instead of sending it as a private direct message," Murray wrote in BV Voices.
"@starjonesesq my lawyer= horrible. Need the name/number of a good one in Atlanta," Foster submitted to the former co-host of 'The View' publicly on Twitter.
Recognizing her mistake -- the 38-year-old, mother of five immediately posted another tweet asking: "Please delete this...it was a DM mistake. Not for ppl to see. I'm sorry."
Kessler is the lawyer who told The Associated Press last week that Tameka was a "faithful wife and loving mother," but declined to comment about Usher's conduct during the marriage.
He also told People.com that he and his client will respond to the divorce filing in a "timely manner," adding, "We were hoping this case would be resolved privately, but since Usher filed it publicly we will have to respond." READ MORE...
Click here if you can't view the video
Poor Gabrielle Union is about to go broke. In addition to being labeled the industry bicycle due to her rumored exploits with married men, she's now claiming to be under attack by urban blogs. Mind you, no one would be talking about Gabby at all if it weren't for these same blogs 'attacking' her.
Anyway, Gabrielle followed the advice of some legal goon who convinced her that she could win a defamation case against a certain blog that she claims slandered her good name. The only problem is that blogs, like all media, are protected under the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of speech and freedom of the press.
Additionally, Gabby is a public figure who is considered to be "incapable of further defamation" -- meaning that her reputation (as the aforementioned industry bicycle) is so poor that defaming her can do no further damage to her reputation (yes, the law actually recognizes people like that).
TMZ.com ran a hilarious gallery featuring convicted murderer Phil Spector and the newest Hollywood hair trend -- styles inspired by that other sexy spector, The Crypt Keeper from TV's long running series Tales From the Crypt.
TMZ compared Spector's style to those of other trend setters from Britney Spears to Benjamin Franklin. But they left out one other: Cassie of one-hit-wonder fame. So I did the honors!
I can't believe Kim Kardashian has the nerve to hug her hair stylist after he did this to her head. Ha ha ha! She's so funny.
I love Dwight "Superman" Howard's comedic angle on the T.I. vs Tip debates. As you know, Dwight and his Orlando Magic lost game 2 to the Lakers last night.
But the only consolation (besides his ridiculous paycheck) is that Dwight remained so much sexier than Kobe Bean while doing so!
Honestly, is there a finer man walking the planet today than Dwight Howard?
Rapper Eminem is looking like the biggest fool in Hip Hop right now -- not because the world's unfunniest comedian (Sascha "Bruno" Baron) teabagged him on national TV on the MTV Movie Awards Sunday night -- but because Eminem was in on it!
Em showed up last night at the grand opening of his friend Travis Barker’s store Fast Life located in L.A. He also performed live with that other has-been Jay Z during the launch of "DJ Hero" event at the Wiltern in L.A. last night.
TV Guide pretty much confirmed all speculation that Eminem's MTV stunt was pre-arranged:
While Em remained tight-lipped about the incident last night, speculation continues to grow. TV Guide claims they’re “certain” that the Eminem-Bruno stunt was prearranged. “There’s no way it was an accident,” an industry insider who was seated a few rows in front of Eminem says. “You don’t let two stars collide without a detailed plan.”
The stunt worked perfectly only because Eminem was a willing participant. There is no other way MTV could have pulled that stunt off without his full cooperation. If it had been any other man, there would have been shots fired and bloodshed.
More info on the Web:
I shouldn't be laughing so hard, but some of you ladies take the rainbow Skittles quick weaves to whole new heights, lol! I can't believe this woman sat still and allowed someone to do this injustice to her head!
Only a flaming queen hairdresser could have done this to her head because if a female did this she was straight up hating on homegirl!
Lawd knows I didn't want to post this video and subject your ears to this torture, but an industry friend (a male) called me just now and literally begged me to post this video of Ciara's appearance on Jay Leno.
What is the problem with untalented individuals like Beyonce, Ciara, Keri Hilson, Ashanti and others who KNOW they can't sing but choose to torture us anyway? Are they delusional or just in denial? Can we file charges against them for assaulting our eardrums? And what about the major labels who continue to market, finance and package this garbage to foist onto consumers like you and me?
I have never understood why unfunny people like Wanda Sykes and D.L. Hughley get their own tv shows. Anyway, some people took offense to Wanda's "jokes" at a recent White House Correspondents dinner. Yawn.
Thanks to loyal reader Imalover for the link...
This should put an end to all that nonsense about Barack Obama being such a great public speaker. Apparently Obama is only as great as his teleprompter -- when it doesn't get ahead of him, that is.
In typical fashion, Obama and his teleprompter are blaming each other for the screw up. Obama has yet to address the gaffe publicly, but we're sure there was some furniture moving in the Oval office when he got back there yesterday.
Here's what Obama's teleprompter had to say about the mishap on it's blog yesterday:
I cannot believe the level of incompetence I have to deal with on a daily basis. If it isn't the cold hand of my operator, it's Big Guy not moving his lips fast enough to keep up with my text. I can say this much: there's no truth to the rumor that swine flu had anything to do with my scroll this morning. Would it be possible to blame President Bush for this too?
I can't, and I won't. So I'll let Toya do it for me:
Ciara performed at nightclub G-A-Y Heaven in London on Saturday night (April 25th) and tore the whole entire house DOWN. This performance meets the end of the road for her London promotional stint as she returns to New York this week to kickstart her U.S. promotional tour. Meanwhile, check out a couple of flicks of her performance. READ MORE...
Thanks to loyal reader Christine for sending this link to a review for Beyonce's movie "Obsessed" which opened nationally in theaters this weekend. I went to see "American Violet" at Atlantic Station last night and I didn't see anyone going to see "Obsessed". The theater staff I spoke with blamed the lack of interest in the movie on Beyonce -- despite the fact that critics say actor Idris Elba shines in the movie.
From UK Metrolife:
Beyoncé Knowles is standing tall at the top of the US box office but her plans to become a giant of the big screen have been blasted as a joke by critics. Knowles latest on screen efforts took a pummelling from naysayers despite her stalking thriller Obsessed amassing an impressive £19.6million ($28.5m) at the weekend. The singer was blasted 'laughable', after her flick was dubbed a b-rate re-run of 1987's Fatal Attraction. One acid-tongued reviewer said: ''Obsessed' is your typical stalker thriller, but is horrifically written and terribly overacted. Beyonce Knowles' performance is completely laughable.'
Another stepped up to put in the blows, telling: 'It's doubtful that 'Obsessed' will stick in the popular imagination for more than two weeks, because the movie is borderline ludicrous.' The floundering Destiny's Child singer, 27, plays the wife of a successful asset manager who has just received a promotion. But things go horribly wrong when a temp work turns on the screws and starts stalking him.[LINK]
Loyal reader Ola sent this video to me. I don't know where people find the time to create these videos. LOL @ "If you haven't won an Oscar by now, you will never, never, never, never win one."
Rapper-turned-DJ-turned celebrity photographer DJ D-Nice just posted this on his Twitter page. Obviously D-Nice thinks Luda could be legendary crooner Lionel Richie's spawn. Come on Luda, you know this is funny!
I know some of you have seen this already, but bear with me. Some of my readers probably don't watch The David Letterman Show, and therefore weren't witnesses to this horrible spectacle last night. Beyonce attempted to prove all her music critics wrong by singing without a backing track -- and she fell flat on her face! Let's face it, Beyonce is a burlesque singer who shakes her azz and slides across the stage on her back. We don't expect anymore from her than that.
Burlesque singer Beyonce gave the paparazzi a good laugh today as she arrived at The David Letterman Show in NYC. All she had to do was navigate around a bright neon orange cone in the street as she stepped out of her car. Instead, she walked into the cone knocking the thing over. I'm told the paparazzi fell out laughing. Poor Beyonce. I blame her bodyguard for not making sure her path was clear of all obstacles. He knows she's a little slow.
Photos: Splash News Online
Apparently Beyonce's manager, Mathew Knowles is furious at TMZ.com for giving fans the opportunity to hear what Beyonce really sounds like without autotunes and studio trickery. Knowles fired off an email to TMZ.com telling them to believe him -- not their lying ears.
Beyonce's dad is on the warpath against the people attacking his daughter for the supposed "board mix" audio of B singing at "The Today Show" -- claiming all doubters of her ability are "idiots."
In a fiery statement to TMZ, Mathew Knowles, who's also Bey's manager, says his daughter was set up. It's one of the best statements we've ever gotten.
"If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them.
If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot.
At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability.
That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered."
But that's the point. We all heard Beyonce crowing on the inauguration and she didn't sound much different then than she did on the Today Show.
I saw this Burger King commercial spoof of Sir Mix-a-Lot's hit on Bill O'Reilly last night and I laughed my azz off! This is the funniest commercial I've seen this year! The funniest part of the segment was O'Reilly feigning unfamiliarity with rap music in general and the concept of big butts: "that's a cigarette?" he asked.
We already know that O'Reilly listens to Hip-Hop on a consistent basis because he routinely targets rappers in his on air rants. But O'Reilly's antics aside, this commercial is hysterical!
Comedian Jamie Fox has stirred up a hornet's nest after making crude remarks about teenager Miley Cyrus during his Sirius radio show “The Foxxhole.”
Mainstream bloggers are going for Jamie's throat for disrespecting their sacred cow, so to speak. Bloggers are questioning how a man with a teenage daughter himself can make such obscene statements toward a 16-year-old.
They say that unlike witty intellectuals such as Eddie Murphy, Jamie is just an obtuse thug with good comedic timing. His arrogance has put off many potential fans who can't get past his particular brand of in-your-face humor.
This is from Perezrevenge.com:
As a favor to a Twitter friend Sarah O’Conner the producer of Power 105.1 in NYC, sister station to Z-100, we posted an [interview] with Jamie Foxx.
We then received information about the following Jamie Foxx show that aired over the weekend on his Sirius radio show “The Foxxhole.”
Had we known about this prior, we never would have promoted him on our site.
Jamie Foxx who is 41 years old and has a 15 year old daughter, decided it would be appropriate to insult Miley Cyrus, 16. Jamie can be heard saying that Miley needs to get a gum transplant and to “make a sex tape and grow up… Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin… get some crack in your pipe… Catch chlamydia on a bicycle seat."