Snoop to Kris Humphries: ‘You shouldn’t have tried to wife the b*tch!’
Rapper-turned-comedian Snoop Dogg gives sound advice to hopeless romantic Kris Humphries, who followed his heart — and not his brains — when he married narcissist Kim Kardashian in a made-for-TV wedding last year.
It’s not entirely Kris’ fault. It’s a holdover from evolutionary days that some men lose all common sense when they are in the presence of a pretty woman.
In another video making the rounds on the Internet yesterday, rapper Young Jeezy, weighed in by saying he would rather die than marry a Kardashian. We’re sure he meant Kim, not Khloe.
Halle’s Nanny Loses Restraining Order Request Against Aubry
Apparently Halle Berry’s nanny doesn’t have good karma because a judge today tossed out her restraining order petition against Gabriel Aubry.
As you know, Alliance Kamdem, 29, took out a police report last week accusing Aubry, 35, of “ongoing” verbal and physical abuse towards her. Kamdem claims Aubry hurled racial epithets at her and shoved her into a door while she was holding Nahla last Wednesday.
In her petition, Kamdem cited another alleged incident in June in which she claims Gabriel violently pushed her out a door.
According to celebrity gossip website, TMZ.com, Kamdem “also said Gabriel didn’t like her from the moment she began her duties as a nanny last June. She claims Gabriel said, “You are a spy,” and “Nahla doesn’t like you, she doesn’t want you here.”
She said that while she was performing her nanny duties on the set of Halle’s movie in Spain, Aubry “would walk over and violently grab/take Nahla away from me.”
But the judge wasn’t convinced. He called Kamdem’s accusations “insufficient and speculative” — and he advised her to take the matter up in family court. The judge rejected her claims probably because what Kamdem was saying didn’t make sense without Aubry’s side of the story.
Kamdem has since quit her position as Halle’s nanny.
Halle Berry Arrives at Court for Showdown With Gabe Aubry
TMZ.com reports that Halle Berry, 45, has arrived at court for her showdown with baby daddy Gabe Aubry, 35.
As you know, Halle’s nanny quit last week after Gabe flew into a rage and slammed her against a door — while she was holding Nahla in her arms.
A previous court order stipulated that a nanny must be present at all times while Aubry has custody of Nahla. But Aubry kept Nahla out of school last week without informing the nanny who went to the school to pick her up.
A police report was filed by the nanny accusing Aubry of assault.
Celebs Out & About: Kanye West, Queen Latifah, Rihanna, Chris Brown
Rumors started last week that ex lovers Rihanna and Chris Brown were seeing each other again, but the rumors are not true. Brown and his girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, were spotted leaving the Greystone Manor separately, and at different times, after a night of partying.
Chris Brown left the club through the front door and climbed into his Range Rover with his girlfriend, KT, and some friends, while Rihanna, looking desperate and lonely, left through a side door and got into a waiting SUV with a bodyguard. My sources tell me Rihanna and CB didn’t speak to each other. The media insists on putting these troubled kids back together, but the truth is they are just friends.
Meanwhile, Rihanna was spotted looking wasted as she arrived at LAX airport from Hawaii where she was spotted smoking pounds of weed and drinking to drunken excess. Rihanna looked terrible and we’re all worried for her. The way Rihanna looks now, even Chris Brown doesn’t want her.
Roseanne Barr Calls Jay Z and Beyonce ‘Arrogant’ in Twitter Rant
Yesterday, one of my Twitter.com followers informed me that comedienne Roseanne Barr went IN on Beyonce and President Obama for disrespecting Etta James while she was alive. It seems Miss Barr took offense to Obama giving Beyonce the honor of performing Etta’s classic “At Last” for his first dance.
Miss James herself expressed outrage at the snub. Particularly since Beyonce did such a horrible job of singing. Everyone agreed that Miss James would have done the song more justice than fame whore Beyonce.
But Roseanne Barr settled the score for Etta on Saturday when she tweeted:
“i have not listened to anything beyonce or jay z has said or recorded since they did that to Etta. Their arrogance was disgusting.”
Roseanne also dissed Beyonce’s singing, her lacefronts and her fake azz all in one classic tweet!
Naturally, Beyonce’s deranged Stans, who have nothing else to do with their boring lives, came for Miss Barr on Twitter with all the ferocity and venom of a pitbull with rabies.
And Roseanne pushed back!
She didn’t mince her words either! She let those fools have it with blasts from both barrels of her B*tch Be Gone shotgun! I wish I could have gotten in on the fun on Saturday. But it’s never too late to show Beyonce’s Stans for the desperate, lonely, psycho losers that they all are.
After the break, I have compiled more of my favorite Roseanne Barr tweets for your entertainment pleasure. Enjoy! 
Royce Reed Tweets Photo of Dwight Howard’s Son in Bed With Her Man
Now I can see why Orlando Magic star Dwight Howard went ballistic on his crazy baby mama and took her to court. She is very disrespectful! No man — not even Superman — would be happy with the idea of his seed in bed with another man.
Royce Reed had the Internet buzzing yesterday when she tweeted the above photo of her current man, Dezmon Briscoe, wide receiver for the Tampa Buccaneers, curled up in bed with her son, Braylon Howard.
Even if Royce is crazy — Dezmon should know better than to disrespect another man like that. I’m sure Braylon has his own bed to sleep in. And even if Dezmon does occasionally curl up with the kid, he shouldn’t let his girl tweet photos of him. Am I wrong?
Dwight Howard and Braylon when he was a baby.
Twitter FAIL: Evelyn Lozada exposes her own insecurities
Last night I was unwinding on social networking website Twitter.com when I decided to have a little fun with reality TV personality, Evelyn Lozada. You see, me, Evelyn and her (very annoying) publicist were cool back when nobody ever heard of her.
It was me who they came to to put out the first rumors about her and Chad Ochocinco being in a relationship. At the time when I started the rumor about them dating, they had only seen each other once (she lived in Florida and Chad was on the west coast filming his show).
Then we fell out over another issue that I won’t get into.
