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Most narcissists (75%) are males. Male narcissists tend to emphasize their money, power status, good looks, or social status.

Female narcissists tend to emphasize their beauty, body, feminine wiles, charm, sexuality, social or celebrity status, and money.

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Female narcissists use their own children as significant sources of narcissistic supply. They present their children to the world as an extension of themselves. Children of a narcissist are expected to be perfect - like their mom.

They Seek Out Vulnerable Men

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Narcissists use their beauty and feminine wiles to obtain more narcissistic supply by getting their hooks into vulnerable men. Some men can't believe they lucked up with such a beautiful woman.

When a narcissist meets a vulnerable (weak-minded) man, she tends to bring up the subject of marriage and children early and repeatedly.

Be wary if your son suddenly announces he's engaged within 90 days of meeting his new love.

Masters of Control

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Narcissists use control tactics to reel in vulnerable men. "Love bombing" is a tactic the narcissist uses to reel in and control her victim.

Flattery gets a female narcissist everywhere. She begins by lavishing him with almost non-stop attention, such as constant and persistent text messages, phone calls, or social media messaging. The texts and calls will be relentless -- sometimes 100 text messages per day.

The calls and texts begin early in the morning and end late at night. Part of her motivation is to keep tabs on her victim. She learns his daily routine, habits, and work schedule so she can use them against him later on.

She will even use YOU to keep tabs on your own son for her.

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Singer August Alsina discussed an emotional phone call he received from Jada Pinkett Smith while he was on tour.

"That was the thing. To feel your emotion and to hear you bawling. That was a reality check for me. I was like, 'Wow, if someone else can love you that much that it hurts them, why doesn't it bother you that you are actually hurting yourself?' That moment really changed the trajectory of my life."

If she has money she will lavish him with gifts or exotic trips in the beginning -- only to pull back and drain him of his financial resources later on.

Be wary if your son brags about how much money his new woman spends on him. The attention can be overwhelming and intoxicating in the beginning. But it won't last. They use control tactics to win his trust and to manipulate him. This behavior is toxic.

Another tactic she uses is non-stop compliments and expressing her love for him in a short period of time. If a woman says she loves him after one week - that's usually a bad sign.

Common phrases used by narcissists include:

  • "You are perfect in every way."
  • "I've never met anyone like you!"
  • "I will never take you for granted"
  • "You're the only man I've ever loved."
  • These phrases seem harmless, but they are calculated to gain maximum control.

    "True love does not want all your time and energy focused on them alone. They respect other commitments, ideas, and boundaries." ~ Tabitha Westbrook, licensed professional counselor

    He is convinced he met his soulmate

    If your son is convinced he's met his soulmate after a short period of dating, he probably hasn't.

    Some phrases she might use on him include:

  • "We were born to be together."
  • "It was fate that we finally met."
  • "You understand me more than anyone."
  • "We're soulmates."
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    She's very needy or clingy

    Teach your son that true love is never clingy or needy. She is never satisfied with the time he gives her. She always wants more. She knows his schedule and his daily routine like the back of her hand. He is expected to give her all of his free time.

    Projection and Gaslighting

    This is a defense mechanism used by narcissists to protect their fragile egos.

    A narcissist will always accuse their victims of behaviors that they themselves are guilty of. Explain to your son that she will accuse him of the same things she does. She will deny saying or doing the things she accuses him of.

    She will say that his friends or strangers noticed the same behaviors in him ("Your friends even say that you [fill in the blank]"). She will distort reality to confuse him and make him doubt his own sanity.

    The more he resists, the more she argues. She will then abruptly change the subject. If he refuses to change the subject, she will fly into a rage unlike anything he's ever seen before.

    Narcissistic rage

    Narcissistic rage is an intense, over-the-top anger or aggressive outburst. It is a reaction to "narcissistic injury" - which is caused by refusing to let a narcissist have her way.

    Narcissistic rage is usually followed by the silent treatment until he either apologizes (for causing her narcissistic injury) or he submits to her demands.

    Stay tuned for the final installment of Teaching Your Son to Spot a Narcissist.
     

    Disclaimer:

    Photos used in Blind Item posts are for illustration purposes only and are not intended to identify any particular individual as the subject of this post. We take no responsibility or liability for the assumptions made by our readers.

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    Jada Pinkett Smith is an expert of sorts when it comes to spotting narcissists. It's so much easier to pick a narcissist out of the crowd when you've been in intimate relationships with them.

    According to PEOPLE, the 48-year-old Real Table Talk show host sat down with her co-hosts — daughter Willow, 18, and mom Adrienne, 66 — and a guest, clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, to discuss the negative impact narcissists can have on people's lives.

    "In this industry, you come across all kinds of narcissists," Jada said on Monday's episode of her popular Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk.

    She told Dr. Durvasula she was hurt and devastated "big time" by a narcissist.

    "Definitely. Big time. Big time. Devastated," Jada said. "Because you bring people into your inner sanctum. They make you believe that they're one thing, and then something happens, and you realize that they are something completely and utterly different. It can be very painful and dangerous."

    A new study shows that narcissists are happiest when they are making other people's lives miserable.

    The study shows that narcissists who have an inflated sense of self-importance and disregard for others, are less likely to be depressed and stressed out than normal people.

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    Dr. Durvasula says certain personalities are drawn to narcissists despite being hurt by them in the past.

    "People pleasers are very vulnerable to narcissism," she said. "They fall for it because they want to fix... they run around in circles, and they keep giving that narcissist all the supply the narcissist wants."

    "Oh, God. Yeah," Willow agreed. "Low key, I might have a little bit of that."

    "A lot of people do," said Durvasula. "A lot of people - again, especially women - grow up believing they have to do to earn love."

    Jada, admitted she may be co-dependent on narcissists for her emotional well-being. "I need to start seeing her for my co-dependencies!" she said, referring to Dr. Durvasula.

    Watch the Red Table Talk trailer below.
     

    The Female Narcissist

    Here is another post in my ongoing series on narcissism. For you men who are healthy and would never fall into a female narcissist's trap, another post will be up shortly.

    When the female narcissist targets you, she moves with great speed. The first time you meet her she seems to appear out of nowhere. But in fact, she has been watching you for a minute and sizing you up for the kill.

    She has figured out your vulnerabilities and she will use them to get what she wants: fame (if you're a celebrity), power, or wealth.

    The female Narcissist is attractive, intelligent, very charming and highly confident that she can take everything you own. These women lack what healthy women possess naturally; a conscience, character, empathy for others, etc.

    Read more »

    Rihanna and Chris Brown at Knicks vs Lakers Game

    It was hard to ignore singer Rihanna shamelessly draping herself all over her former lover Chris Brown during the NY Knicks vs LA Lakers game at the Staples Center Tuesday. Rihanna, who was holidaying in her native Barbados with friends and family, jetted to Brown's side on Christmas day -- despite rumors that Brown hooked back up with his long-suffering girlfriend, Karrueche Tran.

    It doesn't matter how many photos Rihanna takes with Brown, everyone can see how desperate, needy and clingy she is. She knows that Brown is using her to revive his failing career but she doesn't care, because Brown provides the vital source of Narcissistic Supply that she craves.

    Read more »

    Yesterday, we noted a CNN reporter labeled Kim Kardashian a narcissist. In the comments section we mentioned Kim K. using Reggie Bush (if they are back together) as her source of Narcissistic Supply. Many of you were unfamiliar with this term, which is also known as NS.

    According to psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel, the Malignant Narcissist requires 'narcissistic supply' from the environment the same way a baby needs a bottle. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg referred to the coldness in a narcissist's relationships as the "tendency to disregard others except in temporary idealization of narcissistic supply".

    Lisa E. Scott explains that narcissists have no innate sense of self or self identity. So they tend to "look outward" for objects or people that will reflect him or her as wonderful, such as a trophy wife or an expensive car.

    Read more »