Colin Kaepernick and baby

NFL star Colin Kaepernick has plenty of time on his hands these days. Contract extension negotiations between the San Francisco 49ers and their star quarterback are at a standstill in light of his Miami troubles.

A Miami woman accused Kaepernick and his friends of having their way with her while she was under the influence of a sedative placed in her food or drink.

Meanwhile, Kaepernick’s contract negotiations have been put on hold.

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49ers Quarterback Colin Kaepernick relaxes with Chanel Iman in Miami

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick is reportedly under investigation for sexually assaulting an unwilling female. Even a highly paid NFL quarterback may have trouble scoring with women if he resembles a pelican.

The 49ers front office reacted swiftly to the allegations being reported by gossip tabloid TMZ.

“The 49ers organization is aware of the recent media report regarding Colin Kaepernick and is in the process of gathering the pertinent facts.”

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Richard Sherman

Seattle Seahawks Cornerback Richard Sherman may hail from Compton, California, but he insists he is not a thug or a gangsta — despite his thuggish rant in the most talked-about post-NFC title game interview ever.

Most of the country is still buzzing about Sherman’s post-game interview with FOX Sports reporter Erin Andrews, in which he disses San Francisco receiver Michael Crabtree for disrespecting him after the game.

“I’m the best corner in the game!,” he shouted. “When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that’s the result you gonna get! Don’t you ever talk about me!”

A befuddled Andrews asked, “Who was talking about you?”

“N– Crabtree!,” said Sherman, who caught himself just as he was about to blurt out the N-word on national TV.

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Kerry Washington may not be married

A loyal reader thinks she knows the real reason why no one has seen Scandal star Kerry Washington in public with her “husband” Nnamdi Asomugha.

Washington and Asomugha were the subjects of a rumor that they staged a secret wedding ceremony in Idaho (of all places) after Kerry learned she was pregnant.

Radaronline.com unearthed an official looking Idaho marriage certificate bearing the names of Washington and Asomugha.

But, according to my loyal reader, the marriage certificate is fake.

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Kerry Washington may not be married

‘Scandal’ actress Kerry Washington, 36, and unemployed NFL player Nnamdi Asomugha, 32, are indeed married, Radaronline.com reports exclusively.

Radaronline uncovered what appears to be a legit marriage certificate with their names on it on file in the Blaine County clerk’s office.

The couple was the subject of a rumor that alleged they pretended to marry in a secret ceremony in Idaho after Kerry learned she was knocked up.

The San Francisco 49ers waived Asomugha on Nov. 4.

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Chris Culliver

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If you didn’t know who Chris Culliver was before today, you will be very familiar with him by tomorrow. That is because the gays are coming for his neck after what the San Francisco 49ers cornerback had to say about gays in the NFL.

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San Francisco 49ers defeat Atlanta Falcons

San Francisco 49ers defeated the hapless Atlanta Falcons 28-24 after falling behind 17-0 at halftime in the NFC championship game Sunday. The Falcons’ momentum faltered after fumbling the ball twice in the 3rd quarter.

The 49ers scrambling quarterback Colin Kaepernick, 25, rushed for only 21 yards in the game. But it was the mere threat of him running that discombobulated the Falcons defense. Kaepernick passed for 233 yards and one touchdown to earn himself a shot at winning his 1st Super Bowl ring.

The Falcons had a chance to win the game in the final seconds of the 4th quarter. But the 49ers defense held quarterback Matt Ryan and the Falcons on 4th-and-4 to win their first trip back to the Super Bowl in 18 years.

The 49ers will face the Baltimore Ravens in the big game that has been dubbed the ‘Beyonce Bowl’ in New Orleans on February 3.

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