Oprah Winfrey featured transsexual Thomas Beattie, who is 5 months pregnant, and his “wife” on her show yesterday. I shook my head as Oprah fed into the couple’s delusions that Beattie was a pregnant man. Over and over Oprah repeated (for the benefit of Beattie’s psyche) that Beattie was a man and she incorrectly stated that Beattie had a penis.

In fact, Beattie’s vagina is intact as are her female reproductive organs. Beattie has no penis.

We learned a lot from Oprah yesterday – and I hope your kids were watching because it was monumental. Oprah basically taught us that all it takes to be a man is some facial hair and no breasts. Did anyone mention that to God? It seems to me that God went to all that trouble of creating two separate sexes for nothing.


According to the mighty Oprah – and let’s not forget People magazine – God should have created all humans as females and then let the females decide whether they wanted to be men or not. Think of it: if God had created all females there would be no wars, no Holocaust, no triple digit budget deficit (since women manage money so much better than men), and there would be no September 11.

Oh, wait, I just discovered a flaw in my theory: If God created all women from the very beginning, He would have had to create prehistoric turkey basters for the cave women to impregnate each other with.