Jay Z and Solange Explain Elevator Fight Video

Hip Hop mogul Jay Z Knowles-Carter and his twisted stepsister Solange Knowles appeared on Saturday Night Live to explain the elevator surveillance video that captivated America last week. The video was leaked to a gossip tabloid by a former employee of the posh Standard Hotel for an undisclosed sum of cash.

Solange’s innocent explanation is that she was merely kicking a spider off of Jay Z’s rented tuxedo. Jay Z’s bodyguard, Julius, stood by nervously, ready to do nothing again if things got out of hand.

In a surprise appearance, Solange’s older sister (and main financial supporter) Beyonce Knowles-Carter also stopped by to give her version of the elevator fiasco. “Last week, we was all at the Met Ball having a great time,” she said. “We’d been dranking watermelon. But the next morning we woke up and saw that people had posted a picture of us. We was like, “Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, na na na!”

That explains everything.