EDITED: to correct the quote.
So it's all over the Internets that producer Swizz Beats' wife Mashonda is all but accusing Alicia Keys of taking her man. I ignored this story the first time around because it was rumors and conjecture and you know we here at Sandrarose.com hold ourselves to a higher standard than that.
But now that Mashonda has come out and said in so many words, "that b*tch stole my man!", it's given the story front page status - at least in the hood.
But let's turn our attention to Alicia Keys. She never fooled me. It's a gift that I have to cut through the bulls*t to be able to spot a skank a mile away. And they know it too. We already know from experience that AK likes light skin funny looking men. So it should come as no surprise that she and Swizz Beats hooked up.
One of her reps at her record label once pleaded with me to leave Alicia alone. The rep's reasoning was, "she's so nice. She's the sweetest person I know." But aren't they all nice and sweet? Isn't that how they get your man?
Isn't it the extra nice sweet ones that you have to worry about? They work their way into your lives with all that sweet talk, making you think they're your best friend and would do anything for you and your kids - when their real target is your man.
And once she gets your man, she's not so nice any more, right? She hangs up on you when you call your man to ask about that late child support check. And you're left holding the phone feeling stupid and used. Talking 'bout, "I didn't know... she seemed so nice and sweet!"
So why are we shocked and awed that a man couldn't turn down a beautiful woman like Alicia Keys? We are talking about a man, right? Mashonda's first big mistake was trusting a beautiful woman around her man. I keep telling y'all: ain't no man on earth turning down a beautiful woman unless he's gay, comatose or on life support. Keep fooling yourselves.
But in that respect, I guess God made women dumb as rocks for a reason. Because if women were smart enough to catch on at the first sign that their men were cheating - man as a species would be extinct. Dinosaurs would still be roaming the earth in 2008.
In a recent magazine interview, Mashonda said this about Alicia Keys,
She's her own woman and she has made her own choices. I don't have a problem with her. I wall say this though, I am not a scorned woman.
I beg to differ, Mashonda,
queen of the jungle. If you were not scorned you wouldn't have left him. If you were not scorned you wouldn't be giving interviews.
We know that you are scorned just like we know you didn't take your kids and leave quietly into that gentle night. We know you did some damage to a few of Swizz Beats' prized vehicles. But considering the damage he did to your heart - it all balanced itself out.
Thanks to loyal reader Tye Jackson for the tip!