How many times have you met a man who by all intents and purposes seems like your perfect match? It’s love at first sight as you fall head over heels for him, only to realize later that he was the Devil’s spawn?
This is happening more and more frequently as upwardly mobile, successful single ladies sacrifice starting a family to focus on their careers instead. By the time a successful, independent sista in her mid 30s decides to settle down with a man and start a family, she finds the pickings are very slim.
Among the down low men, the cheaters, the con artists and the play boys, there is a more sinister man lurking: the Sociopath.
You’re probably thinking you can spot a psycho from a mile away, but you’re wrong. These sociopath/borderline personalities are the dudes you see up in the clubs who look like walking Billboards. They’re fine, suave, debonair, charming, and one look from them can melt your panties off.
But before you give him your number (or your panties); ask yourself: why is he single? Often times these men are sociopaths on the hunt for prey: and you are their perfect victim. They’re not looking for a relationship, and they will tell you that right off the bat. So please listen to them.
I found the following tips on how to spot a Sociopath/Borderline personality on another blog. Ladies, study these tips so you don’t fall victim to a sociopath who destroys you mentally and financially.
How to Know When You’re Dating a Psychopath
1. Charisma and charm — He’s a smooth talker, always has an answer, he’s quick witted and never misses a beat. He seems to be very exciting. If he’s too good to be true, it’s because he is!
2. Enormous ego — He acts like the smartest, richest or most successful man in the club. He wears expensive clothes, shoes and jewelry (all bought by his last victim). He is handsome and charming and he knows it. He will brag on himself and often parties with his “boys” who back up his lies.
3. Overly attentive In the beginning, he will call, text, e-mail or Tweet you constantly. He will make you feel like you’re the special one who deserves all of his attention. But don’t be fooled! This is important because all that attention does not mean he’s that into you: it’s really the beginning of a stalker relationship.
4. Jekyll and Hyde personality — One minute he loves you; the next minute he’s upset with you. His personality changes like flipping a switch. This will begin about a month or two after you meet him. That’s when he lets his guard down and his true dark side begins to emerge. He will apologize for his outbursts — even as they increase in intensity.
5. Blames others – Nothing is ever his fault. He always has an excuse for everything. Someone else causes his problems. Pretty soon it will be you who causes his problems.
6. Lies and gaps in the story — You ask questions, and the answers are vague. He tells stupid lies, outrageous lies. He lies when he doesn’t have to. This is a classic sign!
7. Intense eye contact — Call it the predatory stare. If you meet a guy in the club who seems like he can’t take his eyes off of you when you speak, do not be flattered. Most normal/healthy men often look away when they speak to you.
8. He Moves Fast — He wines & dines you every night and picks up the tab (for now). He quickly proclaims that you’re his true love and soul mate. He wants to move in together or get married quickly. If you find yourself asking him “what’s your hurry?” — Please run!
9. Pity Play. He appeals to your sympathy. He always has a sob story. He wants you to feel sorry for his abusive childhood, psychotic ex, troubles at work or financial setbacks. If a man starts out making you feel sorry for him; please run!
10. Can’t Let Go — This is very important: if you meet a man for dinner, and he starts off talking negatively about his ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, baby mama, or even a friend: you need to excuse yourself from the table, find the nearest exit and leave! Just cut him off completely because that relationship won’t end well.
This type of sociopath has issues letting go. He wants to make himself out to be the victim in every situation. A perfect example of this would be Chris Brown crying for sympathy during the 2010 BET Awards. Real men suck it up and move on with their lives. They don’t blame their problems on others or look for sympathy for problems that they cause themselves.