Actress Jada Pinkett-Smith penned an open letter to a friend who has decided to get a divorce. In her letter, which she posted on her Facebook page, Jada said couples who hope to grow old together must give each other space and time apart to miss each other.
By sheer coincidence, actress Gabrielle Union and her boyfriend Dwyane Wade separated for a time over the summer when rumors swirled that Wade stepped out on Union with a sports groupie.
Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith, wrote that marriages “inevitably” experience “difficult moments” that call for a break. Jada said she spent time speaking to elders who have been married for 25+ years to get a perspective on what Love is. She said one of the couples spent several years apart before they realized their Love for one another.
But the key to a successful marriage is a lot more complex than just giving each other space. The real problem is that women, who are raised to be “daddy’s little girl,” are obsessed with being married — something that men are not uniquely qualified for.
Until women understand that being married is not the goal (raising children is), and that they should allow men to be men — the divorce rate will continue to skyrocket.
Marriage is man-made. And like everything that is man-made, marriages are doomed to fail.
A letter to a dear friend:
You came to see me last night to tell me that you have decided to get a divorce. Last night I only listened, but this morning I woke up with a hope for you. For the past five years, I have been meeting with elders who have been married for 25+ years to get understanding from many perspectives as to what marriage and love is all about. Almost all the couples have said that at some point in their marriage they have stumbled upon inevitably difficult moments that called for a break. I spoke to one couple who had a few years apart only to re-discover their desire to grow old together and to do what was necessary to continue to deepen their love for one another. My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce. Answers to big questions need time to find lasting truth vs the truth of the moment. After this process the answer may be the same, but at least you will have the clarity to go about it all with certainty and integrity, but you may also find that spark that could save and rekindle your marriage.
My humble thoughts.
J
More from Sandrarose.com:
This hoe always blabbin her mouth.
Until women understand that being married is not the goal (raising children is), and that they should allow men to be men — the divorce rate will continue to skyrocket.
________
She couldn’t call her and tell her this tho? Good Morning!
Marriage is man-made. And like everything that is man-made, marriages are doomed to fail.
_____________________________________________________
*Passes Sandra a snickers* :rollseyes:
Shut up Jada. Why you tryin to raise adults, but you think kids don’t need raising. Hollywierd done turned Jada into a totally differant person. I don’t like her anymore.
My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce.
_____________
She couldn’t call her and tell her this tho? Good Morning!
____________
Merning!! :wave:
I think she does this for the wider audiences benefit. Her FB is one of my faves.
Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith,
~~~~~~~~
I missed that memo.
Hmmm the question I wanna know the answer to is… Who is getting a divorce? #nosey
On topic I have to agree some relationships need space to breathe or rekindle a spark.
women are obsessed with being married
————————-
I believe in marriage but this is true
I wonder why Jada and Will sold their dream house
This hoe always blabbin her mouth.
_____________
Or fonting her fukking fingers but
#semantics.
Im curious why is marriage always a goal for some people? For some people marriage the wedding is more important than anything. I dont get it.
She does have a lot of free time to pen open letters.
Signed,
Daddy’s lil girl
Single
No kids
Homeowner
B.S. MBA
#poorme
:rollseyes:
During this break, does she recommend seeing other people too?
Bird says:
Shut up Jada. Why you tryin to raise adults, but you think kids don’t need raising. Hollywierd done turned Jada into a totally differant person. I don’t like her anymore.
Imma leave the Smith kids alone u know they’re rich 
__________
She couldn’t tell her friend this vs face to face? What’d she wait till she left then
everybody gin be like who was at her house last night
Lawd, can we get the old Jada back?
I missed that memo.
___________
Will prolly did too. He had me DYING laughing talking about he was laYed up in the bed and Jada was sound asleep and he got a Google notif about her filing for Divorce from him.
Ahhh I feel for the friend who read this and was like “This big mouth hoe subbing me :lol:, can’t tell her shyt no mo”
Sandra, Marriage is NOT MAN-MADE, it is ordained by God, meaning when you are READY with no ulterior motives, you make your vows to each other and to God to honor each other. If that involves a separation period, so be it. There is supposed to be respect, honor and loyalty there. People think marriage is supposed to change your relationship, make it magically better, or to change the people in the relationship. Nope, you’re sadly mistaken if you think a ceremony or a piece of paper will do that. It’s the MINDFRAME of marriage itself that will either end in love for life or divorce
Again, if respect, loyalty, and love aren’t present, they have no business getting married. Vows ain’t nothing to play with.
I wonder if these friends are in her head. If I knew her I would never share personal things with her cause she stays putting people business on FB.
As far as her message. Different strokes for different folks. Do what makes you happy in your marriage. Trying to follow what works for others can leave you unhappy.
Daddy’s lil girl
Single
No kids
Homeowner
B.S. MBA
#poorme
______
That was funny.
Woo woo woo. #first worl’ prollems craig.
@ JMO probably aren’t her and Will swingers
Jada just cause you and Will work hard at being sister wives don’t mean other want to be
And nah, some women are desparate for a fukking WEDDING but not Marriage. Two separate things. One is pomp n circumstance, the other is the reality.
A party with a nice dress ain’t nothing but a party. Marriage is the life after the party. Niggs ain’t ready for that life but so damn desparate for it
cause she stays putting people business on FB.
____________
Jada said couples who hope to grow old together must give each other space and time apart to miss each other.
_________________
Why do folks think this lady is so smart….. I mean Ion get that shyt one bit
*Passes Sandra a snickers*
___________
She read like herself to me.
Brownskin Cutie (Carrington’s E-boo) says:
Lawd, can we get the old Jada back?
____________________
Jmo (regarding your friend)
In IL that’s the law.
He signed (green) paternity papers and that’s ALL that’s recognized
No matter what any dna tests or anything say
He shouldn’t have signed anything!!! Unless he was certain that it was his kid
#dontsignthegreenpapers 
Theee only way for him to not pay is for her to end the cs case against him, otherwise, he’ll be paying
and she’ll likely keep taking him back to court yearly or every two years to get increases.
Who is getting a divorce? #nosey
________
That part. Prolly one of her “church” frens tho.
Oh please.
Gigi26 says:
Ahhh I feel for the friend who read this and was like “This big mouth hoe subbing me
, can’t tell her shyt no mo”
Sandra, Marriage is NOT MAN-MADE, it is ordained by God, meaning when you are READY with no ulterior motives, you make your vows to each other and to God to honor each other. If that involves a separation period, so be it. There is supposed to be respect, honor and loyalty there. People think marriage is supposed to change your relationship, make it magically better, or to change the people in the relationship. Nope, you’re sadly mistaken if you think a ceremony or a piece of paper will do that. It’s the MINDFRAME of marriage itself that will either end in love for life or divorce
Again, if respect, loyalty, and love aren’t present, they have no business getting married. Vows ain’t nothing to play with.
____________
I didn’t read this
Somebody ‘recap Jada’s letter’ pls
And Jada need to worry about her weirdo ass kids, one telling kids to drop out of school and the other looking like some sorta freak of nature. FOH Jada, if I were that friend I would curse her straight out in the comments section if she posted this on FB or call her
Maybe i’ll sub her ass on twitter too, since she so damn finga happy
Again, if respect, loyalty, and love aren’t present, they have no business getting married. Vows ain’t nothing to play with
_______________
Gigi26 says:
And nah, some women are desparate for a fukking WEDDING but not Marriage. Two separate things. One is pomp n circumstance, the other is the reality.
____________
Or spend thousands on a wedding and the bride and groom have to move in their parents basement to pay it off
Marriage is not man-made. Marriage was ordained by God.
I’m pretty sure it’s easy to be married to Will Smith. When you husband is Will Smith it’s probably easy to have a good attitude about him getting some cookie from other women on the side, maybe when your husband is Will Smith, you don’t mind him taking a risk with your life. But in reality I had a really hard time being married to a man that thinks marriage is not something to be serious about. I’m giving you, as my husband, the ability to choose life or death for me, should something happen and I cannot make that decision for myself, and you can’t do something as simple as keep your d!ck in your pants? You think it’s ok to take a risk with my life you so can get a little extra on the side? You think you are entitled to a little something extra on the side when you have me doing handstands and swinging from the chandeliers at home?
No, I don’t think you’re ready for the responsibility of being a spouse, and so, sometimes, divorce is the right decision. And I feel just fine about that.
Somebody ‘recap Jada’s letter’ pls
__________
Dymond says:
OutsidetheBox says:
Somebody ‘recap Jada’s letter’ pls
__________
(stubborn only child voice) BUT, ION wanna read
OTB:
Yall
Oh GG!
if I were that friend I would curse her straight out in the comments section if she posted this on FB or call her
__________
But then you would give yourself up.
Prolly call her.
My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce
____________________
All I know is, no elder in my family did this shyt
Jada on that shyt ! <<<Gotta be …
Ty, Is Esq still letting dem babies roast?
I had a really hard time being married to a man that thinks marriage is not something to be serious about. I’m giving you, as my husband, the ability to choose life or death for me, should something happen and I cannot make that decision for myself, and you can’t do something as simple as keep your d!ck in your pants? You think it’s ok to take a risk with my life you so can get a little extra on the side? You think you are entitled to a little something extra on the side when you have me doing handstands and swinging from the chandeliers at home?
No, I don’t think you’re ready for the responsibility of being a spouse, and so, sometimes, divorce is the right decision. And I feel just fine about that.
————————————————–
I agree 100%
DTS
Jada ol sickening azz must be a friend of the blog.
But then you would give yourself up. Prolly call her.
————————
So if I curse her out in the third person i’ll still blow myself up?
I’mma eat a bone-in filetm today, and I’mma finish it
#yallcare
Jada wrote this letter to Will
ain’t no “friend” 
Stay together long enough and someone is bound to cheat.
*low growl* @DTTS
Ummm Her friend came to see her the night before saying she was getting a divorce.
Jada talked about meeting with “elders” for the last couple of yrs, those who have been married for 25+ yrs, in an effort to gain marital advice.
Almost all the couples go thru a moment when they don’t want to be together. They recommend talking a cooling off period. Give the marriage space and time, however you see fit, before you say goodbye for good.
She acknowledges that your feelings may not change but at least you have given it sincere thought and not just emotional action.
I really cant understand why everyone so annoyed by it. ?my thoughts, not herN.
Brought to you today. i think its the
2223rd.@ Yall I think so
Imma leave her stroller on the porch u ring the bell and we will run off at the same time
Jenny
for having me thinking about your azz everytime I see an Applebee’s outta town 
===========
Man, THANKS
OutsidetheBox says:
*low growl* @DTTS
Jada wrote this letter to Will ain’t no “friend”
by Dymond on Sep 23, 2013 at 1:17 pm
____
I concur.
Ty, we shall employ a getaway driver
So if I curse her out in the third person i’ll still blow myself up?
______
Im sure somebody handling it on her timeline as we font.
@DTTS
“Man, THANKS for having me thinking about your azz everytime I see an Applebee’s outta”
________
U should get a lil moist too cause u know
Applebee’s = Give that puzzy up!
Stay together long enough and someone is bound to cheat.
__________
Clearly you missed the thread where it was decided that we all some bad b!tches.
*breaks off that snickers and passes it to Man*
:rollseyes:
Im sure these old people Jada consulted with told her to eat something and feed her kids and put actual clothes on them.
She aint include that part tho.
“Man, THANKS for having me thinking about your azz everytime I see an Applebee’s outta”
___________________________________________________
This! I thought it was just me … I just shake my damn head
@OTB
“Stay together long enough and someone is bound to cheat.
__________
Clearly you missed the thread where it was decided that we all some bad b!tches. ”
______
Bad as in how?
All I know is, no elder in my family did this shyt
_____________
maybe Im misunderstanding what jada is saying..
Youre saying no elder in your family has had to think about their marriage?
Bad as in how?
______________
Im sure these old people Jada consulted with told her to eat something and feed her kids and put actual clothes on them.
She aint include that part tho
________________
LordT.
Man assuming you be IN the applebee’s.
I can use a few days to myself nah and I ain’t even married yet
Im sure these old people Jada consulted with told her to eat something and feed her kids and put actual clothes on them.
She aint include that part tho
you ain’t shyt!
—————————————–
Clearly you missed the thread where it was decided that we all some bad b!tches. ”
Signed,
Bad Bish
Jmo, you see what I fonted to you up there
<–not an eyeroll 
Awww @Fay. Come mere.
yeah @ Fay. I’ve been featured on the radio show a few times spreading my message of not being shyt when I was still down there. I know the founders really well actually. They really ain’t shyt.
by ChanAintShyt on Sep 23, 2013 at 12:49 pm
———–
So tell. So you know Crip :hahaha/
OutsidetheBox says:
All I know is, no elder in my family did this shyt
Youre saying no elder in your family has had to think about their marriage?
_____________
maybe Im misunderstanding what jada is saying..
__________________________
Yep u misunderstanding, no elder in my fam that I know of took a break from each other. Even the miserable marriages…. they stuck it out, even if it wasn’t healthy marriage till death
That’s how them old country folks did things back in the day
I can use a few days to myself nah and I ain’t even married yet
___________
Naw. Married ppl cant be introverts.
@DTTS
OutsidetheBox says:
Awww @Fay. Come mere.
Ok. I wasnt misunderstanding but thats something @Jenie. Wow. Interesting.
They was just like twin beds for us.
So tell. So you know Crip :hahaha/
___________
I tried to nig-nore you down sturrs.
I be he do.
*raises my voice* Is everything ok?
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
OutsidetheBox says:
So tell. So you know Crip :hahaha/
___________
I tried to nig-nore you down sturrs.
======
She is REALLY ‘something else’, isn’t she?!
DTTS
she was/is having some feelings about being a Black. Thas all. Or maybe its more about them feeling she a “black.” Inbox her. 
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
Even if you have to think about all the J names *snickers*, and not seeing them as usual
#hypotheticalyougot3kidsquestion
Calgon please take my co-worker the eff away! There! I put it in the universe!!!!!!!! She is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!
<–Doesn't Talk To Strangers says:
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
#hypotheticalyougot3kidsquestion
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
Even if you have to think about all the J names *snickers*, and not seeing them as usual
____________________
OutsidetheBox says:
DTTS
she was/is having some feelings about being a Black. Thas all. Or maybe its more about them feeling she a “black.” Inbox her. 
I am really silly & not gonna font what is in my head right now :straightfacenow:
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
________________
Most folks will
and get married in a heart beat !
I tried to nig-nore you down sturrs.
======
She is REALLY ‘something else’, isn’t she?!
by <–Doesn't Talk To Strangers on Sep 23, 2013 at 1:33 pm
——–
The people wanna know
Nosey: who don't wanna be blk
on lunch bored
#hypotheticalyougot3kidsquestion
_____________
Im sure he’s prepared.
@DTS
What do my children’s names startig wit “J” have to do with me gettin a divorce?
Most folks will and get married in a heart beat !
_____________
Jenny
You fukk with me, you put a rang on it, you stuck with me.
no matter what? Not I, said the cat
————————————
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
_________________________________________
and that my friends is the problem smh
who don’t wanna be blk
_____________
LTOSR.
She Black (with a big B) and she proud.
I cant take MissusTee. @DTTS And our sorry ass falcons lost to them “retarded sharks” <–her words so she been sour since yester-dee.
Tee cray!!!
by OutsidetheBox on Sep 23, 2013 at 1:36 pm
———-
I was hurt :crying1: I was the only woman and Falcons fan in a room full of in-law men
They falcons ways start out strong and then the secondary loses it for us.
Me first half
Me second half
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
@DTS
What do my children’s names startig wit “J” have to do with me gettin a divorce?
Settle Down Cowboy
I just couldn’t remember the spelling of your (future) kids names, and was trying to make you think about them, when you’re typing that you’d do it ‘in a heartbeat’. Tis all. #justhinkaboutthekids
no matter what? Not I, said the cat
_______________
Kinda of. Its why I’m not married. I cant get over the “what ifs”.
#commitmentphobe
#ireallydontevenlikepeople
#lovecats
now I do believe in working through all of your options first, but I’m not staying married forever just because
Anyone see dem BEARS though?!
These KIND bars are so good. Peanut butter and dark chocolate. Oh and Bizzle I saw that I before E shyt…nigga you aint slick!
I was hurt :crying1: I was the only woman and Falcons fan in a room full of in-law men
NOBODY CARES!!!!
and that my friends is the problem smh
________________
You got a 50/50 chance of being happy.
Them some terrible odds.
Da Burrs. :woot:
OutsidetheBox says:
no matter what? Not I, said the cat
_______________
Kinda of. Its why I’m not married. I cant get over the “what ifs”.
#commitmentphobe
#ireallydontevenlikepeople
#lovecats
*chortle-snorts*
<<<will divorce in a heart beat
_________________________________________
and that my friends is the problem smh
by JMO on Sep 23, 2013 at 1:40 pm
in forgiving that ….. But God knows my heart
———-
Amen
Aside from battery and cheating you gotta work it out. And if you look at some of the happiest couples today (25 years in) some of them have cheated and are still together. Now I ain't there yet
now I do believe in working through all of your options first, but I’m not staying married forever just because
_____________
I think most logical ppl think this way.
Settle Down Cowboy
_____________
Cause cowboy boots have at least a 2in heel amiright
SR where’s our ‘football’ emo to match
Oh and a B’Please one, and maybe a Windmill one
Don’t nobody care about dem funky bears
bitter party of one your table is ready
Waiter on the SR speaker
Whats a KIND bar?
#hungry #hippo-ish
OutsidetheBox says:
Settle Down Cowboy
_____________
Cause cowboy boots have at least a 2in heel amiright
(coutry voice)
Man, how many cowboy boots you got? What color?
My team plays tonight!!
unfortunately it’s against Mr. Manning 
where gyps and that gravi come from
MsTake
Did you let that baby go outside Friday?
you do NOT seem like a cat person OTB
____________
Really?!?!
I love felines!!! 
I havent had one in so many yurrs. Stil getting over
from my very first.
They are independant. They dont smell. And they like to Take Care. Perfect for me. Nothing like me chirren.
Ultimately, every relationship is different. You never know what you will tolerate UNTIL you are in that situation; HOW MUTHAFKIN EVA, some of the stories I hear from friends ….
aint … no …… way …… in hell
… makes you look at your own man like, damnn, maybe you aint that bad
I agree with her advice….but did she have to post the letter?
MisTaken
The Black Mamba says:
Don’t nobody care about dem funky bears
bitter party of one your table is ready
Waiter on the SR speaker
________________________________________
*adds to 128
I don’t mind cats, but they are banned from my house. I got a boxer tho
with ADHD 
and by the way, anybody want a dog? I’m looking to get rid of mine
….. But God knows my heart
___________________
OutsidetheBox says:
you do NOT seem like a cat person OTB
____________
Really?!?!
I love felines!!! 
___________________________________________
wait til y’all see the new post
where gyps and that gravi come from
_________
The depths of hell.
Thats Miley and the big woman who (tried) to learn Miley how to Twerk.
JMO says:
OutsidetheBox says:
you do NOT seem like a cat person OTB
____________
Really?!?!
I love felines!!! 
___________________________________________
Along with a tattoo of a Pitt “Killa” on her calf
#ikidikid
Yeah, and ‘special occasion bleaching’ them babies
Oh and I didn’t get a chance to speak on Jon Gosselin. That nigga was buying snow boards, ski mobiles and shyt. Trying to ball out like he didn’t have 8 kids. She just wanted to be realistic about the shyt that is why she didnt want other family members to be on the show,they weren’t helping until the cameras started rolling so she wanted the money herself. He is getting what he deserved. Cheating with the nanny when he up and quit his job as an IT guy when he should have just worked part time.
Thats why he about you not letting that baby go outside cause it warnt no more bleach. Shame on it Missus. Shame on it.
by OutsidetheBox on Sep 23, 2013 at 1:49 pm
if I say don’t knock on my door or ring my bell no more then you better not. They gotta learn. I run my house not them kids. TUH karate:
———-
Nope she didn’t go out DTTS. She gotta learn to pick smarter more obedient friends
what y’all trying to say about OTB? she ratchet?
yeah Jon ain’t shit
“Marriage is man-made. And like everything that is man-made, marriages are doomed to fail.”
Aunty,
I don’t post much, but I had to comment on this one. Marriage was designed to form a permanent bond of union between man and woman, that they might be mutually helpful to each other. Living together in love and confidence, they could enjoy great happiness. God created woman as a mate for man by using the man’s rib as a base, thereby making woman man’s closest fleshly relative on earth, his own flesh.
In Matthew 19:4-6 Jesus acknowledged the marriage arrangement: “In reply he said: “Did YOU not read that he who created them from [the] beginning made them male and female+ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother+ and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’?+ 6 So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.”
#foodforthought #truth