Gary Coleman says he’s married to a woman he met on the Internet. Okay, I’m kidding. He didn’t meet her on the Internet, but the former Different Strokes star tells Inside Edition that he’s secretly married and this is his first ever romantic relationship:

“I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone,” he says. “I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

The couple’s nuptials happened, “on a mountaintop,” according to Coleman. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us. That was all that was there. There was nobody else.” (Source)

Considering the times that we’re living in, this smells like a made-for-tv marriage to me. Look for the annulment proceedings to begin in 4…3..2