I spotted this on Perezhilton.com who posted the song in honor of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s alleged nuptials.

The song is a remix of Mariah Carey’s hit “Touch My Body” called “Retouch My Body” and it is hee-larious! I actually like this version better than the original because Jackie is spittin’ the truth about these image obsessed celebrities.

Check out the lyrics:

    If there’s a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
    Then it’s true, that you
    Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
    tellin’ you, what to do
    ‘Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
    I will hunt you down
    ‘Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
    Don’t even try it, this is my diet

    Retouch my body
    Stretch me some more
    Take off sixty pounds
    Then take off ten more
    Retouch my body
    Re-size my head
    Clean up my skin
    Please tone down the red
    Retouch my body
    Lipo my thighs
    With your computer mouse
    I’m as big as a house
    Retouch my body
    Remove every curve
    I’m goin’ to the mall to get a soft serve

LISTEN:
Retouch My Body by Jackie Beat