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When and if troubled actress Lindsay Lohan finally makes it back home to LA, you can expect to see the largest mob of paparazzi ever assembled at LAX airport.

That is because every paparazzi in town will be vying for that money shot: the one that shows Lohan shackled and being led to a waiting squad car.

In case you haven’t been following Lohan’s latest misadventures, she was supposed to be in a LA courtroom today for a mandatory progress report on her probation. But Lindsay’s reps claim she’s stuck in the South of France after someone stole her passport in Cannes where she was attending the film festival this past weekend.

The judge isn’t buying Lohan’s excuses, and she ordered LiLo to appear today — or a bench warrant will be issued for her arrest. It probably didn’t help LiLo’s case that she’s been photographed partying hard every night in Cannes since losing her passport (see above pic).

X17 paps staked out the LAX airport last night in the hopes that LiLo would miraculously make it onto a plane from France, but LiLo was a no-show.

That sets the stage for the ginormous paparazzi zoo that will descend upon LAX for when LiLo finally does fly home.

LiLo’s father Michael Lohan, himself a media whore, says his daughter is deliberately trying to tee off the judge because she wants to go to jail for the publicity, ala Paris Hilton. If you recall, Ms. Hilton famously spent a few days in the relative comfort of the VIP section of LA county jail for violating her probation in 2007.

Lohan was given probation in 2007 after pleading guilty to two counts of DUI and one count of reckless driving.

Update:

Lindsay Lohan missed her 8:30 a.m. appearance in an LA court this morning, so the judge issued a bench warrant for the troubled actress.

Judge Marsha Revel, who brushed aside LiLo’s excuse that she lost her passport, set LiLo’s bond at $100,000 and imposed stiff restrictions on her activities once she returns from the South of France.

LiLo faces certain jail time if she’s caught drinking alcohol after she posts bail. She will also have to wear an ankle monitor.

LiLo rankled the judge’s ire by showing up two hours late for a previous court appearance. So she gets no breaks this time.