Actress Nia Long is tired of reading blog comments about her marriage status. The Hollywood starlet is jaded by the dopamine-fueled “whirlwind” relationships that often ends in divorce.
“Marriage is not a priority for me. I’m not saying I’ll never do it; It’s just not where we are as a family,” Long, 41, reveals in the August issue of Essence.
“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
Admitting she has “never seen a marriage work,” Long is in a different place than most younger women who rely on their emotional “feelings” to dictate their relationships with men.
Long prides herself on reaching a level of maturity as she abandons the dopamine stage of her life.
“I’m a lot calmer. Less clingy and demanding., said Long, adding that she doesn’t feel anxious about what her baby daddy, Ime Udoka, is doing when he leaves home for long stretches at a time.
“I took it as an opportunity to nest,” she explains.
Already mom to 10-year-old son Massai from a previous relationship, Long and Udoka are parents to 8-month-old Kez Sunday. “Motherhood is not easy, but it’s natural,” she says. “I worked hard to have the career I wanted, but I’ve also been deliberate about my personal life. None of this is a mistake.”
More from Sandrarose.com:
Cover source: BCK
moanin…
What a beautiful family. I want to gobble that little baby up. #nobathsalts
That cutie looks just Like Nia, she has some handsome boys
Beautiful family and mature attitude toward her relationship and her reality…
Sup people.
Sandy will be spillin tea on this break up in 3..2..
Morning All :hey:
“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
_________________________________________________________________
Tell em how you feel Nia
Jenie
Ace
married or not, nia’s 1 badbish. that is all.
in other news:
TINK TINK GETS TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS
(CNN) — Double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius will compete at the Olympic Games after he was named in both the individual 400m and the South Africa 4x400m relay squad for London 2012.
Gagirl
CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs
Everyone have a nice 4th?
“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
________________
Do u Nia and give them your azz to kiss
myB, ty. i was jus cmn for yall
Nasir Rahim says:
CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
________________
That songs make me want to
my ear drums
@ BoogieNites GM hun
Morning people
Yup, Nia is on point! Completely agree…
Ty says:
U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs

_______________
TY we upstairs
SO IM DOWN BOTTOM AND DONT NOBODY SAY NEW POST.. RUDE PUTAS!!
forget her views on marriage, can we give her edges a slow clap?
most celebs don’t even know what an edge is.
@ Ace I had a lazy 4th too daymn hot
But I picked up bout 3 plates from my peoples houses doe. My lunch gone be straight tuday!!! 
jeniefrumdabloc says:
Nasir Rahim says:
CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
________________
That songs make me want to my ear drums
_________________
jeniefrumdabloc says:
Ty says:
U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs

_______________
TY we upstairs
____________
Halle should take notes. Nia needs to teach a class on how to be a fcking. A dignified, self sufficient, unattached woman. A lot of heauxs in 2012 might learn something. I
you, Nia
Moanin
Morning, Bibi, Ace, Mannie, Laker

Fay
Gagirl
Boogie
Ty
Nasir,
VDOT
Future
and anyone else I missed
BIBI :2dance:
KINGSTON
kingstonn says:
forget her views on marriage, can we give her edges a slow clap?

________________
Hows school?
mannie why u ain’t tell me we could telework today too?!
why am i here? 
Cute boys and that lil one with fat thighs
I could just eat him up.
Mannie says:
jeniefrumdabloc says:
Nasir Rahim says:
CAN GET A REFILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
________________
That songs make me want to my ear drums
_________________
___________
Who gave that heffa a record deal
who ever did that needs to be stoned 
!*LaKErCHiC@*! says:
SO IM DOWN BOTTOM AND DONT NOBODY SAY NEW POST.. RUDE PUTAS!!
————————————————————————-
I gots an excuse….. I was nver down dere!
How’s my warm K-sa-D-a?
JENI
i lubs Nia
she seems very smart to me. i LUVS me a smart woman 
dumb women get on my last effin nerve.
GM Auntie! thanks for the post!
I for one can’t wait to get married
i hate that refill song
fayla! :wave: <— ur credit card info so i can register for ancestry dot com
You’ll see it work if you met me Nia.
candibfly says:
mannie why u ain’t tell me we could telework today too?! why am i here?
________________________
Sorry boo i cant telework my office doesnt have an agreement with the union yet so i dont even look for the annoucements anymore…
Good Morning everyone
Cute family
ACE
IM NICE AND WARM.. NICE AND WARM SIR
HOW WAS THE 4TH? *HANDS U UR TO GO PLATE**
Good for her. People need to do what works for them.
@ BiBi fellow leo lioness
“None of this is a mistake” mmmhmmmm, dat bish bad
OH AND NIA IF I WAS A LESB FO REALZ FO REALZ U COULD GET IT
FAWK A HALLE BERRY U IS SESSY TO ME BISH!
GAGIRL87 says:
I for one can’t wait to get married
_______________
I want to be married one day
but It has to be with the right person, so I am patiently waiting for him 
!*LaKErCHiC@*! says:
ACE
IM NICE AND WARM.. NICE AND WARM SIR
HOW WAS THE 4TH? *HANDS U UR TO GO PLATE**
————————————————————————-
You got your phone? or access to email?
mannie what?! that’s insance. let’s write a letter. iono who we writin it too but is that really the point? can ur office step into 2012?! #rude
Nia is beautiful and her kids are adorable. The oldest one looks just like her. I say as long as you and your significant other are happy with how things are who cares what others think!!
lakesssssss!
@ Ty
i just have to do a year of rotations and then I’ll be done.
I’m done with the lecture part!
it’s kinda surreal to know ill have an abbreviation after my name
So this where we at? Oh Fay and I are not here for the Elle Varner slander. Nope. Not at all.
omg. i used too many smilies.
I feel like starting a marriage debate…but don’t know how i want to do it yet…
@ Jenie you don’t like Elle Varner? I think she has a nice voice!!!!
If that works for her than I approve.
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THE ELLE VARNER DISSING!
Ace says:
I feel like starting a marriage debate…but don’t know how i want to do it yet…
candibfly says:
mannie what?! that’s insance. let’s write a letter. iono who we writin it too but is that really the point? can ur office step into 2012?! #rude
_____________________
It kills me!!!!!!!!!!! I mean we are the only office in the organization that doesnt allow it…
kingstonn says:
lakesssssss!
@ Ty
Making moves and shyt love it 
I’m done with the lecture part! i just have to do a year of rotations and then I’ll be done.
it’s kinda surreal to know ill have an abbreviation after my name
_______________
ACE HIT ME ON MY
U CAN DO IT!!
KINGSTON U ESSMART SESSY BISH U!
@ Jeniefrumdabloc
LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that’s why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.
50
jeniefrumdabloc says:
GAGIRL87 says:
I for one can’t wait to get married
_______________
I want to be married one day but It has to be with the right person, so I am patiently waiting for him
________________________________________________________________
@ Jenie GOD already has BOTH our husbands picked out bew
i love how we say goodmorning/ hi to each other like 80 times on here
MORNING ! 
@FAyla
Beautiful family. If she, her kids and her man are happy who are we to judge.
Nia (as if you are reading this) live your life girl.
Mornin’ all!
Danielle says:
I say as long as you and your significant other are happy with how things are who cares what others think!!
____________________________
What works for me and mine, may not work for you and yourn.
lovezoe says:
So this where we at? Oh Fay and I are not here for the Elle Varner slander. Nope. Not at all.
u gyat damb right Bew!

BOOGIE
DONT WE..OLD FRIENDLY FUKAS!
FuturedocDonte says:
On Sandra to post about Evelyn Hozada and Ochocinco’s wedding yesterday
__________
Was Chad even there
Danielle says:
@ Jeniefrumdabloc
LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that’s why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.
^^^^^
).
werd. she’s ahhite to me (as in good
BoogieNites says:
Danielle says:
@ Jeniefrumdabloc
LOL I like Elle Varner. Her raspy voice is different and her lyrics are good. Maybe that’s why I like her idk. You should listen to her EP Conversational lush.
^^^^^
).
werd. she’s ahhite to me (as in good
_________________
:stop: nah that’s ok anyhoo
i guess it happened, someone RT on twitter and he wrote WIFE (all caps) and the profile pic was of two hands showing wedding bands
Something tells me those two really got married. Now, whether it is legal in America or not is another story.
Ace says:
I feel like starting a marriage debate…but don’t know how i want to do it yet…
^^^^^^^^^^^
OH EM GEE. get out me head yo

FuturedocDonte says:
On Sandra to post about Evelyn Hozada and Ochocinco’s wedding yesterday
_______________________________
Sandy didn’t even wish us a Happy 4th yesterday. I don’t know what has gotten into her here lately.
i just don’t like the song, i be like damn get up and get a refill then, they free anyway
(my $.02)
Elle is refreshing ….the current pallet of R&B female vocalist are getting boring played and too comfortable with what they are doing…Elle might not reach some of thier plateau’s but as of right now i can
Conversation Lush Mixtape… (Fav song is El where she is rapping)
Oh and Nia stop reading those damn comments only setting yourself up live your life how you want and forget the haters.
Congrats Lakes
My fave Elle Varner song is WTF. Real or fake, them curls are to die for! I think she needs better stage presence, but give her some time. She WILL go far. She higher on the charts than some other folks.
GAGIRL87 says:
I for one can’t wait to get married
*******************
I hope you never let anyone convince you that is a bad thing. Of course black women have to get comfortable with not being single because black men refuse to marry them, but there is nothing wrong with wanting that. It’s natural. To be perfectly honest, I’m only half confinced that Nia believes what she’s saying. If dude asked, would she turn him down?
can i get a reeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeee fillllllllllll?

that song is catchy as hell. i keep singing it at work.
!*LaKErCHiC@*! says:
————————————————————————
Babe …it’s the cubans that are the swimmers..he needs to learn hurdles for fence jumpin to get his Messican status.. #slightlyinsensitive
I really dont want to leave this post for the fooloery up above…
Xena68 says:
Oh and Nia stop reading those damn comments only setting yourself up live your life how you want and forget the haters.
**********************
I was wondering how they were having a perfectly loving time while she was on the internet.
ACE BABE.. HIM LEARND THAT BEFORE THE SWIMMING.. U KNOW “THROW THAT MOFUKA IN THE WATER.. LET HIM LEARN..” HE KNOWS HOW TO DO CANNON BALLS.. BELLY FLOPS.. BACK FLIPS.. WHILE STILL LEARNING HOW TO SWIM
@ ace
Mexicans actually cross a lil river to get over here.
BIBI GIRL HE WAS SOO ESSITED TO FINNALY BE ABLE TO FOLLOW MY AZZ IN THE 8FT.. HE WAS LIKE A FUKN DOLPHIN JUMPING IN AND OUT BISH LEGS ARMS NECK BACK IS SORE..
KINGSTON RIO GRANDE..
AND 90% OF US LIVE IN CALI.. SO WE ARE ONE WITH THE WATER 
I agree w/Nia,she’s really on point w/how I feel. Mernin’ Roses!
89
Bird says:
GAGIRL87 says:
I for one can’t wait to get married
*******************
I hope you never let anyone convince you that is a bad thing. Of course black women have to get comfortable with not being single because black men refuse to marry them, but there is nothing wrong with wanting that. It’s natural. To be perfectly honest, I’m only half confinced that Nia believes what she’s saying. If dude asked, would she turn him down?
__________________________________________________________________
EXACTLY she wouldn’t turn him down, who wouldn’t want someone you LOVE to ask your hand in marriage?
Ty says:
U rude heffas coulda told me yall was going upstairs

_______________
100% agreed Nia.
In the bible days all it took was to give a man a lil’ sum’sum, and y’all was husband and wife. All this other extra stuff may very well be for economic & tax purposes.
I ain’t never seen the sun rise in China either, but I’m pretty sure it does. Sometimes we have to look beyond the narrow perspective of our own lives to see other possibilities.
Just because Nia hasn’t seen marriage work that doesn’t mean it isn’t working for people every day.
Then again I live among many examples of long standing strong marriages – not perfect marriages, but where the faith, love, and commitment is still real years later.
I know how she feels people be looking at you crazy when you that you dont care or want to be married. Too many women out here wait around for a man to complete them rather than one to complement them, thats the reason marriages nowadays dont work
I’m still waiting to see marriage work also, on average. There’s always an exception or two. I’m not ignorant to that fact, but generally speaking, marriage doesn’t appear to work. I think as you grow older and learn from experience(s), the dopamine SR speaks of does wear off. You’re no longer doing things or being in positions cuz it’s what society has dictated to you, or cuz you snapped the hell out of it and asked “wtf am I doing?”
Love your pets, but marriage is a business. I heard this in my 20’s and thought naw, you have to love, yada yada yada. eff that. it’s business first.
Look at the chubby lil baby.
“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”
———————————————————————
Lauryn Hill felt the same way too
Good Morning @Jeanie :))
It’s just not where we are as a family,” Long, 41, reveals in the August issue of Essence.
OAN:that lil baby just looks so friggin cute & scrumptious!
#teammarriage
I would rather marry than burn. That being said I don’t knock those who don’t want to get married for whatever reason. If you like it I love it. People who don’t want to get married shouldn’t!
Nia’s just saying that because dude hasn’t asked for her hand in marriage, if he does it will be a different story.
well, unlike nia long, i have seen marriage work. and please know that not every relationship is a dopamine fueled relationship sandra sheesh. its depends on what you you seen growing up. plenty of marriages work when both people are realistic. when i was young i thought all you needed was love and now i know love is compliment to everything else. its takes more. when you realize and understand what it takes, marriage will work. maybe she doesnt realized that. if shes happy then thats her business. if he asked her i bet she wouldnt say no lets just leave it as is.