Actress Jada Pinkett-Smith penned an open letter to a friend who has decided to get a divorce. In her letter, which she posted on her Facebook page, Jada said couples who hope to grow old together must give each other space and time apart to miss each other.
By sheer coincidence, actress Gabrielle Union and her boyfriend Dwyane Wade separated for a time over the summer when rumors swirled that Wade stepped out on Union with a sports groupie.
Jada, who admits to having an open marriage with husband Will Smith, wrote that marriages “inevitably” experience “difficult moments” that call for a break. Jada said she spent time speaking to elders who have been married for 25+ years to get a perspective on what Love is. She said one of the couples spent several years apart before they realized their Love for one another.
But the key to a successful marriage is a lot more complex than just giving each other space. The real problem is that women, who are raised to be “daddy’s little girl,” are obsessed with being married — something that men are not uniquely qualified for.
Until women understand that being married is not the goal (raising children is), and that they should allow men to be men — the divorce rate will continue to skyrocket.
Marriage is man-made. And like everything that is man-made, marriages are doomed to fail.
A letter to a dear friend:
You came to see me last night to tell me that you have decided to get a divorce. Last night I only listened, but this morning I woke up with a hope for you. For the past five years, I have been meeting with elders who have been married for 25+ years to get understanding from many perspectives as to what marriage and love is all about. Almost all the couples have said that at some point in their marriage they have stumbled upon inevitably difficult moments that called for a break. I spoke to one couple who had a few years apart only to re-discover their desire to grow old together and to do what was necessary to continue to deepen their love for one another. My hope for you is this, that you consider taking the route that some of our elders have taken in giving your marriage some space and time before the drastic decision of divorce. Answers to big questions need time to find lasting truth vs the truth of the moment. After this process the answer may be the same, but at least you will have the clarity to go about it all with certainty and integrity, but you may also find that spark that could save and rekindle your marriage.
My humble thoughts.
J
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