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Dang, I was a hoe so quick I thought I’d come down here and claim it before I finish reading the list. I got to like 4 and I done did all dat shat except #4. *shrug*

Edit: Out of list of 9 lines items, I done did 6 of em. Hey I always did say that I was Soul Train hoe in my 20s. But shat, it was fun and I got stories to tell my grand babies to let them know I KNOW.

Hi my name is Bull and per the above I am a Hoe. Considering I’ve been in a drought, low key celibate for the last year+, I think my Hoe Card is revoked. I’m mad about that shyt too. I’ll get my card back one day.

I think the book is just for entertainment purposes.

*clutches pearls* I thought you had clean knees

????

tickled…

This applies to men, too. *files nails*

None of this uptop applies to me. If it applies to you, do you boo.

I hope this is for women only, because going by that list, 6 of those means I was a BIG a$$ young, hoe.

I see where you’re going. Proceed…lol

Lol I was a hoe by # 2.

Bruh! Way to come in and get shyt started. HAHAHAHA!

First date sex doesn’t necessarily mean he was a stranger.

I’m talking to a new guy. Trying to be good but I know I’m going to ‘slip’ and fall on stick soon enough if we spend any time alone alone.

LMAO……and I don’t do drugs and I got my own car, sooooo. LOL

I don’t agree with #7

If you’re fat , or a single parent can be on the list??

I would dispute #3. How you supposed to know back in third grade they kicked it hard?

Relatives…eh. You know some ppl don’t know/see all their cousins til the 4th anyway.

Welp, it’s official. I’m a hoe, but I’m a honest hoe!

Ion’t think so. I think all the babies got to have a differant daddy for that one. 3 ah yourn got the same daddy. You safe on that one.

Don’t matter, they all got different peen juice. LOL

Chile I guess so …. lol

LOL! I’m jealous!

Lol. True.

That’s what I wanted to know. ?

#6 most definitely! I mean, I want clothes and trips and if somebody else can provide them for me, with a lil “down payment” to help, then……

LMAO!

It’s almost rare to meet someone with more than one kid from the same person.

Does that count for Pronhub?

I’m a hoe then….

Why does that make you a hoe? Maybe you were on vacation, and you tried to save money and let your girls room with you….

Are you “les-been honest” or just honest honest? LOL

I am too. You can sit with me.

I think that when you are exchanging sex for material things you are most certainly a hoe. No shade. If you giving head for Coca-Cola and Skittles (real life story) you are a hoe.

I hate when people bring marriage into it…

Don’t agree with #9. I used to have a spot to go to every night of the week…Sunday to Sunday. Getting my drink on. Not b/c I was heauxing, just enjoying adulthood & freedom.

Check

it was a face down ass up moment…blame it on the remy

??????

Just honest, honest. I’ve never been hit on my a femme who was up to my standards. I guess I’m not as fine as I’d thought

Maybe… but said friends were passed out… and didn’t give two fux when they woke up anyway

I’m gon go right ahead and claim my hoeness but who wouldn’t be 1 according to this hoes list?

I get hit on by studs. Idk why.

LMAO

And since I’m pregnant and maybe getting divorced. I feel like being a hoe or pretending I am by telling my husband its not his baby. I know I know. It would be a lie. But I feel so angry I just want to get some get backs. But that’s the flesh. And I’m not going to fall to it. But some dack is what I need right now this minute. This pregnant Catt is so ready. All the time.

I’m considering one for next spring ?

..its ok…tink tink

LMAO

??????

10. If you write a book calling someone else a hoe you prolly one too. How you know so much ’bout dat?

That’s why I’m basking in my hoeness.

Yep…went on a girls trip…shared a room with my homegirl…she brought a random dude back to the room….they got it on….

I was impressed…?
Lol

https://media2.giphy.com/media/RkuWgLKm03f2w/giphy.gif

I guess the easier thing to decide is… who’s not a hoe? Based on the previous posts that list will be shorter. Stand up, non hoes who haven’t had your HoeFax scrubbed due to inactivity.

I’m a retired hoe too. I still got connects, but I font use them no more ….

I feel like #3 should be on all the cuffin season posters.

Like call cousin Hattie, the family historian, tk get all your people’s last names so you don’t accidentally cuff your cousin.

Ok since you said that I had to check the list again. I only did 4 of them. 5 if you count the one where the dude took me shopping when I wasn’t expecting it.

Dang apparently Imma hoe too. “Sings yous a hooooe… yous a hoooe!!

Bird, stop. She said if you ever EXCHANGED…if you were ever like, pay my rent and I’ll give you some butt. Lol, yall are tripping.

They are out there tho’. LOL

I know I know. He might turn around. It will b his first and many say when the baby comes it may effect him in a good way. I’m just angry for being so good to him. But I know I would never be forgiven for that kind of lie. Its not worth it. But it feels good to imagine how upset he would b. Well now I type it. Not really. That ninja might try to kill my crazy ass. Lol!

Much shorter list…that I’m not on!

Thank goodness ??

RIGHT! LOL

Side eye. In my small mind, you’re talking about me. So you’s a HOE. There, judged.

Don’t do it Ms. Cielie

You in the median ?

What happened? Why aren’t yall together? Share, if you want ? Not too much though ?

11. If your name is Cherry Bomb den you a h– …
Do I hear a 12?

O_o

That’s strange. But you’re not a heaux for that.

That would be a good movie plot, btw

Honey Dip is 33 and doesn’t have any biological kids. He said that Lil Butter is enough and he doesn’t really want more kids. I told him that he can get snipped, because he is GNAT about to Neyo me.

Never tell a nigga the baby ain’t his…….HE’LL pay you for 18 years if you just introduce yo top lip to yo bottom lip and shet up. LOL
#hoelogic

13.

Me too, lol!

No. I have all three. I’m not a heaux.

13. If you still wearing Love Spell in 2015, youse a hoe.

I’m a hoe ?

I don’t listen to anybody with a 27 piece on top of her head sis.

Well. It was rocky before marriage. He has an alcohol problem. And some bad parenting experience from his child hood. And I put my foot down. Explained it just couldn’t be. So he left recently. He says he doesn’t want divorce. But hell his actions are what I’m looking at. I can’t even say I can imagine what or how its going to turn out.

I hate that you’re getting divorced but don’t want it. I’m kinda hoping yall get back together.

What does it mean? She wants to cheat?. Her hubby cheating?

Me just got one. Kid, do that count

“You’s a hoe, you’s a hoe, sideline hoe. You’s a sideline hoe, sideline hoe”. I like that song.

Chile you better say that shyt

I’ve been bouncing on the same peen for 7 years, surely that would knock off a couple of thousand miles, no?

me too hun …. good shyt

High five! Admittedly I’m a light weight hoe. No. 1 is tricky for me though. If I don’t remember your name, what do I need the pen and paper for anyway?

If you have to to ask then… UR a hoe! ,<— seem to be the common theme of this book! #dropsmic

But but… what if the people knew each other by default? I’m still a hoe? Can I still sit with you? The hoe bench is crowded lol. Seriously though, how Sway?

lol, no, not Love Spell.

They scare me……BAD!

lmao. I saw a pic of him at a Maze concert and just SMH. Curly wig in tow, of course.

They gay. LOL

does #2 apply to people that met their partner online, talked for a while, met each other in person for the first time, and THEN did the dew? that count as first date sex?

Far too many of us Women are far too quick to point fingers and try to bring one another down. First we have Dark VS Light, Team Natural VS Team Weave/Perm, and now we have Team Sanctified VS Team Hoe? Why does everything have to have a negative slant? Why not write a book on how to be a Lady instead of how not to be a hoe? This kind of mess gets me so tired. Using the same sexual language and imagery to belittle others who you consider to be “hoes” and make money off their life choices is worse than a “hoe” mind her own dam(n) business. We need to do better and dragging each other down isn’t helping. Mentor some young girls, teach your sons to look at more than an instagram pics when choosing a partner, support couples in relationships. When I read that list I had to ask myself what’s worse, being a happy Hoe or a judgemental Bish? I don’t see myself on that list but I do see a lot of things that are none of my business.

Like Draya, all my hoeness been deleted.

When I tell you I DIED when folks were commenting on their favorite fragrances they wear, and people were saying Love Spell. I didn’t know Vicki still make that.

LOVE SPELL!!! Yall Roses be having the best comments. I got the Love Spell Collector’s bag (purse) from B&B back in the day. Gave it to my niece when she was 5 now she 15 out here tricking and snicking…Maybe you right on this one HAHAHA

Yes lawd. And some never change.

This chick said ” In my opinion if a man looks at you and SAYS you are a hoe or you are doing hoeish things then you are a hoe”…UHH HOE WHET?!

You a hoe sis.

Is it online somewhere for free?

Oh yeah, just to give an update adout my situation I posted on about my best friend getting married and me being her MOH in addition to her having 17 brides maids…and her being rude, disrespectful and demanding as heck…long story short

After not speaking to me after our last convo..She came to my house 2 days later with her future dude to talk to me and My hubby to try smooth things over…things were going ok until the money situation came up. After a few Dranks it came out, her dude was giving her money to pay for stuff, but she was squandering it away and basically using her friends trying to make a come up….he.was.HEATED! They got into a huge fight..Mr called over all the groomsmen and I called the bridesmaids over to the house…her future dude started calling the shots. He cut the wedding party down to 3 groomsmen/bridesmaids…food will be Buffett style…dress will be rented….no honeymoon vacation…took her brand new car back to the dealer….and wedding has been postponed…
I’m still her MOH tho…?

Her dude busted her down and got her together real quick…

#attitudeadjusted

Me too. LOL

They were dudes she used to mess with back in the day. She used to have relations with a few. I told her she may have unfinished business with her past

I’ve been sellabutt for almost 2 years. Is my hoeness revoked?

When I first got to college I tried to keep count… Now I don’t care. Been having the same peen since 2008. None of that chyt matter.

Alrighty then. Good for dude.

<——— likes Love Spell…..prefers Endless Love….but rocks Gucci………and Adidas. #wellroundedhoe

Well if you ever want to share, we is here

DAMN 40 WHOLE MINUTES JUST WENT BY? AND WHY OH WHY IS THIS RIGHT BEHIND VIOLA? SIGH.

I fuked a weed man or 2 or 3 or 4 ?

damn…do you boo

HONEY LISTEN!!!!!!!! They went IN on him and his all-white! I WAS SO WEAK!

You got that good good. I think that one only applied if you require them to have sex

I’m at work and why can’t these muhfuggin co-workers flush the got dam toilet. I mean shat!

#rachetness

It’s ok. ?

WE’Z HERE! #6 needs to be more defined. LOL

Me and my friends went to this annual convention we go to twice a year. Anyways at the end of the night me and my best friend are discussing this dude. I’m telling her she should sleep with him bc he is fine. She says I should. I thought he was way out of my league. He was beautiful. Anyways he ended up being into me. Our friend was already in the hotel room drunk and passed out. My best in said she was going to sleep. I asked him if he cared. He said no he liked an audience. It was dark I don’t think you could really see anything. We did stuff. My best friend fell asleep. The friend that was already asleep woke up and later told me she watched and got herself off without us noticing. She’s wild. Smh

I mean he the current dude. From the past. Who now my connect as well.

#6 got me fugged up.

lol… Did you like them? Are they shooting the normal crap?

Showed off with the lights and cable off. LOL

…………………

Look at God. Won’t he do it? Won’t he?

Well. I was best friends with mine and he slept with his half cousin sister. So he gave me permission to sleep with the halfhalf cousin. Her brother. Best dack ever. And me and him are still good friends. No sex in ovr ten years

I posted one

So if you put it on a man and he can’t walk afterwards are you a ho?

Asking for a friend.

Thing is….they small pharmaceutical. I’m CRO. I will probably mesh well. But I liked em. They seem cool.

Hmmm…I think she just said that she is going to help you be a better hoe.

Hoes rule the world then lol

My nigga! ?

He still going to marry her after that? She basically robbed him. No. She straight up robbed him. Wow. Interesting situation.

LOL!

He workin up on it. We beefin bad and I’m being petty and shadin’ him in the process. LMAO

YES, THAT’S THE ONE. ok. I saw it and could not stop laughing. Eddie was dead ass in that pic.

She said that you should consider your relationship your job. You should conduct yourself as if your boyfriend is your boss and the relationship is a means to provide for yourself. So, if your man wants you to wear stilletos and chew Juicy Fruit bubblegum….you better do it.

OK, stop talking. She missing that old thang is what it is. Yep, un-finished business. I wonder if she’s satisfied sexually by hubby.

I’ve paid for a cheap motel one time..the kind where you pay by the hour…don’t judge me.

Whitty! Is you a hoe too? I would hang my head but then I realized I ain’t shamed ?

Well dayum

Sometimes it’s good entertainment. Lol.

Not a deal breaker for all.

Then that might make you a CHEAP hoe. LOL

Ok, I got a real life situation that just happened this weekend. Me and my buddies were tailgaiting after the Janet concert and a drunk dude was wondering around looking for his car. So he chatted with us for a while and revealed that he was a truck driver who lived alone and came to the concert alone. He flashed a wad of cash to prove that he wasn’t a bum. Also brought a whole cooler full of drinks to share with us after he found his car. Am I a hoe for considering taking advantage of him?

Dang. Lol

I was lowkey scared. He was like I can’t walk. I can’t move.

Smh. Big baby

Giggles you and me both!

Oh shyt. Hail no.

Anybody ever tried the KFC potpie?

Thank you. Prayer is appreciated. And I’m not gonna lie to him. I will continue to be a good wife. I won’t do wrong. I’m just gonna b stress free.

LMMFAO – Yes that still counts for #7! I need some water!

NO

He is just lonely and needs ah fren

And then we was naked

**************
This part is what kilt me dead right here. Clothes just fell off and nobody knows how. You know you made him late to drop off somebody medicine.

You a mess!!!!!!!!

You know you’re a ‘Hoe’ when you’re able to write all the things whore’s do , or have done. Sounds like examples of her personal experiences.

See see see! That’s what I’m sayin. He was offering it. My buddies were clowning him something terrible…..but I got the digits right quick.

I’m not on there aayyee!!!! But… Since its no specific Topic…
I be fucking my pastor! It started when Hurricane Ike hit Galveston in 2008 and our Brother Church in Dallas, god bless them, offered to pay for our hotels and host our Sunday Services together. I had only known him a year and the first day I saw him up there 1 of my braids fell out in front of him and he picked it up, I said “thankyou” and told me “”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9″
LONG STORY SHORT
l laughed so loud that everyone looked at us which made his wife jealous, she kicked him out the room that night over it, he came to my room, we got it on, I found out that even men of god like their butt licked, and we been fucking ever since 3 times a week while his wife takes her mom to Dialysis. #DontJudge #HeavenKnows #iLuhGod

Children come first. I can be a hoe on my own time. He shouldn’t have even BEEN at the college function unless that’s been her dude for years. I hate that too. Why you got your dude who ain’t been part of your child life for long at MILESTONE events? Unless yall been together….say 5 years plus at time of event? Leave his azz at home.

Get it Bird. Lol

yeah. I dont even know her and I’m disappointed in her. Was she never gonna get to see this dyck again or some chit?

She been dealing with dude for a minute, but her kids aren’t a part of it. Example she spent Thanksgiving with dude in another city & her kids weren’t invited.

That friends 1 is BS.

So this JUST happened to my girl like a month ago. She pregnant by her dude. The side chick popped up when she was over there. She talmbout can we talk for a minute.. He go outside and ol girl cussing, crying, talmbout how you gon have her over here… My girl called me dying laughing……
i shook my head at the whle thing cause I wouldn’t be either one of them chicks but still funny

What is wrong with you LOL!!!!! I rebuke you devil and grabs my holy water!

You made it to #5?!!

Thanksgiving is the only holiday I like. It’s a big deal in my family.

I saw R. Kelly style and imagined yall pissing on each other.

WHAT SIS.

Dammit! Gone for real now.

You da real life Ms. Parker?

LOLOLOL Oh I can’t with you. You are hella funny!

So he was giving her wedding checks and she was buying weave then trying to scam her friends into paying off her wedding??? Like she did it on purpose, like schemed or one of those things where you mean to pay the cable bill but buy a pair of shoes instead… Oh no this chick would find herself dumped and with no friends…

You & the pastor ? Are you married also?

Crakin Up!!

OK so clearly some of these are questionable but #1 is clear signs of hoedom. If you can’t remember all the people you’ve slept with yikes..that’s some hoe ish lol. I’m wondering if this list applies to men too?

CRACKING ALL THE WAY UP!! This list shows I’m a hoe and so is my mama, grandmama and great grandmama. I blame genetics.

I hollered!!!!!!

She so descriptive that I don’t think she playing!

Ok, you lyin. Whew! Had me over here praying and throwing holy Deer Park water at my computer screen.

LMAO HOLY DEER PARK!!!

Cue…Tina Turner…I’m your private dancer…dancer for money…I’ll do what you want me to do…..

of course not! Im fine with what we got. He is the best man I know, He is the reason I went back and got my associates and Straight up… I’m just in love with him and if his wife was with it I wouldnt mind a polyandry relationship

got a weave. I’m being an ass. Sorry Seavooplay bff.

Thanks for answering

LOL

Hahaha

Chile??

Well that’s what I’m waiting to see…but the groom was like

“Say bruh, gone head and keep helping her plan, but we go some $hit to work thru…but it’s postponed till further notice”

I was like ? Ok

I’m bout to talk about your fren. This dumb wanch is driving around in THIS kinda car and dont know how to do right. Who is her damn Momma cause she has a retarded doorter and dont know it. :rollseys: and stomps off mad as fugg.

I wouldnt marry her azz she showing you she can not be trusted.

He lives about three hrs away, but I think she just wanted to show him off to her ex husband

If you don’t get somewhere and set down. You gotta put that pride aside sometimes, boo.

There go an azz licker.

up there ^^^^^

You stay accusing ME

I’m done at the azz eating

She tossing the pastor’s salad you and me both girl!

The expert knows

IF IT AIN’T CADILLACS AND FURS? CLINK CLINK…

I grew up really religious. I’m kind of going through a hoe phase right now. I sleep with anyone who wants me. So far my number’s 3

Hellllllll Noooooo-(In Tony the Tiger voice).

LOL! Mama always sayin the baby gone be stressed out for one reason or another.

Thank you!! We are!!?

Let me scroll up to see if a Basketball Wife wrote this ish.

Thank you for fonting this before I did! It’s a wonder he still wants to get married after she stole money from him all the while riding around in a $65K car.

Alot of folks I know that go to Pharma don’t want to go back to CRO world. I almost went Pharma once and am still considering going after a position that I should’ve gotten the first time around. We’ll see though, these folks around these parts are about to get the deuces if they don’t get some act right.

I didn’t thank I was a ho but I’ve been made aware by number 9 lol and his father who looks just like him requested it out of spite lol. Lawdt.

I kinda agree ?

??????

Why do you care what someone else does with their vagina anyway?

5 out of 10 bad girl turn good with some old hoeish ways

1-3, will be me…. But NO KIDS!! LOLOLOL

(Hangs bead in shame)LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY…(throws head back and WAILS)ONE THRU SEVEN IS ME!!!TAKE ME TO THE KANG!!!!!

WOW

NO….does he have a big #$%&

Anybody crazy with a K if they think I’m PHUCKING for anything less than sum shit I can use.but you gone be working with sumthin from the get go.my patience so shawt Jesus!!!

? this is dumb as hell judgemental bull. So if your husband/bf does something wonderful for you and then you proceed to f@&k the shit out of him you a hoe? If G-d forbid you were in a relationship with someone and you have a child if it doesnt work out in the end your womb must go on hiatus? Even if you meet the man of your dreams? Why does it matter if you have two sexual partners that are friends? What if you live in a small town where everyone knows everybody else? Or maybe you and your ex’s friend just really hit it off? Like what? Just why to this whole list

Tired of seeing theses types of books for Blacks… I went to 125th in HARLEM. Black Owned bookstores are now closed and replaced with Corporate Owned Chicken Wings Spots.. The bookstores owners sells theses THOT books in every street corners. Such a sad sight now…

I was guilty of number two!

who the fugg cares??!!! really who cares about the fugg shii… good lawd… folk still checkin other folk puzzay odometers in 2015?

I got 1 on the list. Guess im a hoe. Oh well

YOU TOO!!!??? I mean, uh…my FRIEND… oh, nevermind. ???

Lmao ??

Sandra if this is the best you can do you should think about pulling a Necole Bitchie.

Will you please fax me some ho-ness? Sometimes, I break out singing, “There’s some hos in this house! There’s some hos in this house!” Then I start crying, because there ain’t nothing but some cobwebs and regenerated hymens in this house.

Signed,

Willing to bust it open for a goon, and possibly a goblin ?

I’m 53 years old. According to this list, I’ve been a hoe a time or two or three or four…

#1 i dont necessarily need a pen and paper but i need more than 2 hands lol ????????????????? at least i remember the names

Ok, so my current bf use to b homies/associates with my baby daddy. They went to middle school together and use to trap together about 4 yrs ago. Ive been with my bf for about 3.5 yrs and i was with my baby daddy for 9 yrs until i ended the rltshp 4/2011. I love my bf ssssooo fuckin much he’s a good person, a man of character, reserved, etc not to mention he mks love to me and eat the box like no man has ever done ? im kinda afraid to tell my baby daddy that im dating his ex-homeboy bc i kno he’s gonna have a bitch fit lol does that mk me a hoe? Me and my bf have this strong connection its crazy!!

Is that a man or a woman?

Okay um#2? guess ima h oe LOL

Says the girl with a toupee on her head…and named Cherry Bomb lol!!!!!!!!?????

Some girls kill me who had no CHOICE but to keep their legs closed (because of obvious reason)! Want to act like they chose not to f?k- no one wanted to f?k u!!!!

#openpost

Tap water…??????

Hey 100??????

I didn’t think about that. That is real real. Sorry so early. The baby don’t let me sleep at night.

Fugg him. I’m about to go use up all his Kroger fuel points. #pettycrocker

Well start planning. Come to “the ‘hamas” with me/us in Dec. LOL

WHALE, for the last year or so, I’ve been a part-time hoe since Honey Dip and I are doing the long distance thing. After conversing with some Roses, it’s been determined that I’m probably not a hoe at all

And I KNOW he has EXACTLY THAT $0.30. LMAO He started it. We having profile wars on da book of faces and errything.

Of course you aren’t. But it is fun to fantasize/pretend. I believe it is possible to be a “ho,” if you will, for the one you love. That, IMHO (<~ no pun intended) is pretty awesome.

Signed,

The only dip I have is queso fundido. ???

Teal Deer is a a HOE!

Wait. Is this a real book though. How the eff gave a person whose pen name is Cherry Bomb a publishing deal. Hooked On Phonics needs to make a comeback.

I’m a hoe

Hey???
I’m good – how are you?

To quote my girl Jill Scott: “Shit, I was a hoe!”

I’m great, thanks! ?

whenever a b calls me a hoe I tell her “it takes one to know one.”
I know some of the best undercover hoes in town

I knew it. See baby daddy let his friend know too much. When guys are friends. They pretend its all good they homeboys being a dog. They are thinking all along how they can treat u better. If bd stop talking to the baby. He ain’t shat. But I’m sure he must at least be a good dad. And if you and bf get real serious bd will eventually find out. And he will learn what all women know. Don’t tell your friends about your mate and keep your dirt to yourself…

“If more than one person has ever called you a hoe, ur a Hoe.”

Lesson: Old hoes can’t afford decent punctuation.

Glad to know that she can afford the “w” and the “r”.

When you need to write a book called, “I am not a hoe,” then ur a hoe.

you know what. women cant do shit without them being whores. #oppressed