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Mmmm’kay! ?
Dang, I was a hoe so quick I thought I’d come down here and claim it before I finish reading the list. I got to like 4 and I done did all dat shat except #4. *shrug*
Edit: Out of list of 9 lines items, I done did 6 of em. Hey I always did say that I was Soul Train hoe in my 20s. But shat, it was fun and I got stories to tell my grand babies to let them know I KNOW.
ROTFL….
Hi my name is Bull and per the above I am a Hoe. Considering I’ve been in a drought, low key celibate for the last year+, I think my Hoe Card is revoked. I’m mad about that shyt too. I’ll get my card back one day.
Wait whet???
I think the book is just for entertainment purposes.
What is the criteria for being a hoe? Like is it if you answered yes to at least 1 or do you have to answer yes to 3 or more. I need the answers.
*clutches pearls* I thought you had clean knees
#6 is a disputed question.
????
It appears as though one is sufficient.
tickled…
I wish folks would start back spelling words correctly.
You’re(to you ‘ur’) a dumb hoe, you can’t spell ?
This applies to men, too. *files nails*
None of this uptop applies to me. If it applies to you, do you boo.
You better preach! I too got cobwebs all about the cootie cat area, but I’d love nothing better than for some 20 something to dust em off. Bih better have my hoe card.
I hope this is for women only, because going by that list, 6 of those means I was a BIG a$$ young, hoe.
Brooke can u make a list of what it takes to be a lonely, bitter, basic bish?
I see where you’re going. Proceed…lol
6/9 Bird
?
Lol I was a hoe by # 2.
LOL !!!! Cause this up top
Bruh! Way to come in and get shyt started. HAHAHAHA!
Sooooo which numbers are we disputing because I feel like number 1 is clearly a sign of hoe-dom.
First date sex doesn’t necessarily mean he was a stranger.
Right! I was unsure on that one. I wasn’t expecting gifts, but the nigra took me shopping none the less. Oh nevermind. My hoeness was already established by that line.
I’m talking to a new guy. Trying to be good but I know I’m going to ‘slip’ and fall on stick soon enough if we spend any time alone alone.
Is that an excerpt from the book???
LMAO……and I don’t do drugs and I got my own car, sooooo. LOL
I got a few too. But the dad forced a DNA test cause he was an ass. I have 4 kids 3 with my ex and one otw from my husband. Do that still count for #7?
I don’t agree with #7
hey bew <3
If you’re fat , or a single parent can be on the list??
Hey honey bunny ??
I would dispute #3. How you supposed to know back in third grade they kicked it hard?
Relatives…eh. You know some ppl don’t know/see all their cousins til the 4th anyway.
Well…how many kids does said person have and how far apart are they?
Welp, it’s official. I’m a hoe, but I’m a honest hoe!
Why fo come? LOL
Ion’t think so. I think all the babies got to have a differant daddy for that one. 3 ah yourn got the same daddy. You safe on that one.
Same here I got trips, gifts and money. Guess I am an Retired Hoe?
Don’t matter, they all got different peen juice. LOL
I think associates may be a stretch. But I do agree with friends/relatives. I mean current friends. Lol…not back in third grade.
Chile I guess so …. lol
I am right with you……guess my momma is a hoe, my momma’s momma a hoe, my daughter, my auntie, my bestie (her husband said that good loving made him wife her, so she wouldn’t give it another soul…..Imma have to tell her that nice ring, deemed her a hoe.) Sheesh, it’s a world of hoes running amuck!!
LOL! I’m jealous!
Shyt, I be a Hoe then.
Lol. True.
Yes, the miles have been rolled back on your HoeFax and much of your hoeness has been erased.
That’s what I wanted to know. ?
1
6
?, oh ?
#6 most definitely! I mean, I want clothes and trips and if somebody else can provide them for me, with a lil “down payment” to help, then……
she a hoe for writing this
LMAO!
well i failed… but she forgot one,…if youve ever had sexx while another person watched…u a hoe
It’s almost rare to meet someone with more than one kid from the same person.
Lol. I think if your kids are more than four years a part, you can proceed down the list. But if they are 1 year a part, you can stop there at hoe-dom. No need to go any further.
Does that count for Pronhub?
LOL
I’m a hoe then….
Stop it….
Why does that make you a hoe? Maybe you were on vacation, and you tried to save money and let your girls room with you….
Oh hunty no. My knees actually bad today. Cain’t half exercise.
Are you “les-been honest” or just honest honest? LOL
Good afternoon all!
On topic:
According to this list, I’m just a little bit of a hoe, not a BIG hoe…but i’s married nah….
But my homegirl could write a book or teach a class on her “hoe-antics” tho ?
#hoeingfordummies
#hoeologynism101
I am too. You can sit with me.
aha! .ion even wanna talk bout porn
I think that when you are exchanging sex for material things you are most certainly a hoe. No shade. If you giving head for Coca-Cola and Skittles (real life story) you are a hoe.
I hate when people bring marriage into it…
Are you asking for a friend, Nanny? LMBO
Don’t agree with #9. I used to have a spot to go to every night of the week…Sunday to Sunday. Getting my drink on. Not b/c I was heauxing, just enjoying adulthood & freedom.
You got a good story to share?
Check
………and here lately, hoes been winning! <—– wants to be a certified hoe. LMAO
it was a face down ass up moment…blame it on the remy
Don’t be lately guys have been flucking things up right before I’m about to fall. So I won’t hold my breath. Maybe he’ll make it.
??????
I thought you were supposed to get gifts ???
Just honest, honest. I’ve never been hit on my a femme who was up to my standards. I guess I’m not as fine as I’d thought
Just came off a hoe-ass trip last week. And just sent a payment reminder for my hoe-ass trip in Dec.
Maybe… but said friends were passed out… and didn’t give two fux when they woke up anyway
if it walks like hoe and sounds lika hoe…itsa hoe, thats all imma say
I’m gon go right ahead and claim my hoeness but who wouldn’t be 1 according to this hoes list?
Brooke, if you get your eyebrows professionally arched and they don’t match……you just might be a blind hoe.
I get hit on by studs. Idk why.
Hey some agree some don’t. Don’t nobody really curr. My babies got differant daddies, but they 12 years apart in age. Am I still a hoe for that one (not counting all the other ones I did)?
LMAO
I got the top 4 on lock….
*Cues Cube and Master P’s Im A Hoe
And since I’m pregnant and maybe getting divorced. I feel like being a hoe or pretending I am by telling my husband its not his baby. I know I know. It would be a lie. But I feel so angry I just want to get some get backs. But that’s the flesh. And I’m not going to fall to it. But some dack is what I need right now this minute. This pregnant Catt is so ready. All the time.
Skittles contain pork and Coke coats my teeth. So I’m no hoe. LOL
I’m considering one for next spring ?
YES! I so happy. But hoe’s have more fun… Shyt. Catch 22
..its ok…tink tink
LOL
LMAO
I get hit on by both. If I get with a girl though, she’s going to have to be FOINE- and not be pre-mursty.
??????
I have 4 and two daddies…….guess I am a double hoe.
10. If you write a book calling someone else a hoe you prolly one too. How you know so much ’bout dat?
I’m not…
That’s why I’m basking in my hoeness.
So am I a hoe because she and I are rocking similar hairstyles……..but my sides are NOT shaved, they are waved? QTNA
Yep…went on a girls trip…shared a room with my homegirl…she brought a random dude back to the room….they got it on….
I was impressed…?
Lol
https://media2.giphy.com/media/RkuWgLKm03f2w/giphy.gif
I feel like being a hoe or pretending I am by telling NY husband its not his baby.
————————————
Don’t do it Neicey. You might be mad at him now, but you never know if he’ll turn around and use the fact that you said it against you later. Don’t give him that power.
I guess the easier thing to decide is… who’s not a hoe? Based on the previous posts that list will be shorter. Stand up, non hoes who haven’t had your HoeFax scrubbed due to inactivity.
LOL!
I’m a retired hoe too. I still got connects, but I font use them no more ….
I don’t know if I’m gone be doin’ a whole lotta hoe’n come Dec…..we beefin’ right now. LOL
I feel like #3 should be on all the cuffin season posters.
Like call cousin Hattie, the family historian, tk get all your people’s last names so you don’t accidentally cuff your cousin.
*-*-*
Ok since you said that I had to check the list again. I only did 4 of them. 5 if you count the one where the dude took me shopping when I wasn’t expecting it.
I am stuck on #3, my current knew my ex in middle school. I knew neither one of them then, but apparently my hoe-dom was already written, by them associating aka played ball on the weekends. Le sigh
Dang apparently Imma hoe too. “Sings yous a hooooe… yous a hoooe!!
Agreed
Bird, stop. She said if you ever EXCHANGED…if you were ever like, pay my rent and I’ll give you some butt. Lol, yall are tripping.
LMAO!
They are out there tho’. LOL
Ok 4. I’m a midrange hoe.
I know I know. He might turn around. It will b his first and many say when the baby comes it may effect him in a good way. I’m just angry for being so good to him. But I know I would never be forgiven for that kind of lie. Its not worth it. But it feels good to imagine how upset he would b. Well now I type it. Not really. That ninja might try to kill my crazy ass. Lol!
This wack ass post for a wack ass book ????
I guess Viola was getting too much shine down below :rollseyes:
Much shorter list…that I’m not on!
I know they are. I’ve even met several men in a row with no kids. I was really surprised.
Thank goodness ??
I got you beat. 2 of mine became stepbrothers 4 years after I last had relations with either of them.
RIGHT! LOL
My HOE membership expired in 2002. I sometimes miss the benefits.
Side eye. In my small mind, you’re talking about me. So you’s a HOE. There, judged.
Lmfao at 5 if ?
Don’t do it Ms. Cielie
GIrl, if you don’t sit your frail self down somewhere. Don’t make stalker do a drive-by.
You in the median ?
They have been winning lately! Hell that Lira Galore won herself an whole lotta Rick Ross’s man boobies!
What happened? Why aren’t yall together? Share, if you want ? Not too much though ?
Too funny!
11. If your name is Cherry Bomb den you a h– …
Do I hear a 12?
???
O_o
That’s strange. But you’re not a heaux for that.
That would be a good movie plot, btw
Do those shaved sides, NYX lipstick and round azz hairline means she’s a hoe???
Honey Dip is 33 and doesn’t have any biological kids. He said that Lil Butter is enough and he doesn’t really want more kids. I told him that he can get snipped, because he is GNAT about to Neyo me.
12. Mirror mirror on the wall. You’re a HOE.
Never tell a nigga the baby ain’t his…….HE’LL pay you for 18 years if you just introduce yo top lip to yo bottom lip and shet up. LOL
#hoelogic
open post….. what should I cook today ??? Ideas
13.
Off topic, well not really:
I have friend that says she has dreams about sleeping with other men, but she married. Any dream interpreters in the garden?
Me too, lol!
Sweetie, you’re no hoe……..but that kit wearing wonder in yo gravi is. LOL
No. I have all three. I’m not a heaux.
Cue’s the Ludacris “Hooooeeeee, Hoe, you’s a hoe. Hoe! You’s a Hoe, I said that You’s a Hoe, Hoe! You doing hoe activities with hoe tendencies, hoe’s are your friends, hoe’s are your enemies”
13. If you still wearing Love Spell in 2015, youse a hoe.
I like dreams like this. The men I’ve screwed in my dreams would definitely make me a hoe.
I’m a hoe ?
Me too, when u find out let me know, #causeicare.
I don’t listen to anybody with a 27 piece on top of her head sis.
I agree with this even if you KNOW it’s his baby. It could negatively affect the child since he may be hesitant to form that bond.
Well. It was rocky before marriage. He has an alcohol problem. And some bad parenting experience from his child hood. And I put my foot down. Explained it just couldn’t be. So he left recently. He says he doesn’t want divorce. But hell his actions are what I’m looking at. I can’t even say I can imagine what or how its going to turn out.
Winter is coming, she is no dummy….all that blubber on a cold night. All she gotta do is stick herself under his stomach to stay warm.
I hate that you’re getting divorced but don’t want it. I’m kinda hoping yall get back together.
Does this go for “sideline hoes” as well?
What does it mean? She wants to cheat?. Her hubby cheating?
Nah thats a tacky bish which means her Puss STANK.
Me just got one. Kid, do that count
??????
“You’s a hoe, you’s a hoe, sideline hoe. You’s a sideline hoe, sideline hoe”. I like that song.
lol
Chile you better say that shyt
And niggas be real petty these days too. And THEY be in the wrong.
I’ve been bouncing on the same peen for 7 years, surely that would knock off a couple of thousand miles, no?
LMAO
me too hun …. good shyt
Aww man. Alcoholics are bad man.
High five! Admittedly I’m a light weight hoe. No. 1 is tricky for me though. If I don’t remember your name, what do I need the pen and paper for anyway?
Ooh chile. I think I would hoe for travel. Hmmm
If you have to to ask then… UR a hoe! ,<— seem to be the common theme of this book! #dropsmic
She’s a hoe. I’m kidding. She’s having fantasies about other men. She wants to explore something new sexually, not necessarily other partners. Did she say who these men were or some randoms she doesn’t know in real life?
But but… what if the people knew each other by default? I’m still a hoe? Can I still sit with you? The hoe bench is crowded lol. Seriously though, how Sway?
Thanks. I do believe the time apart is good though. I’m too old to b stressed while pregnant. My momma said baby gonna be born with they fist balled up. She is funny.
lol, no, not Love Spell.
#AllTubesMatter
They scare me……BAD!
First of all the book is a Booklet and 27 pages
lmao. I saw a pic of him at a Maze concert and just SMH. Curly wig in tow, of course.
??
They gay. LOL
LmAo clean off. I know. That’s what Maury say all the time. It’s the devil talking to me. I’m not gonna listen though
does #2 apply to people that met their partner online, talked for a while, met each other in person for the first time, and THEN did the dew? that count as first date sex?
Those are some strong rules .. but shes right! The only rule that is wrong, is the fact that friends do sleep with each other, or become friends instead of enemies after a break up.
Far too many of us Women are far too quick to point fingers and try to bring one another down. First we have Dark VS Light, Team Natural VS Team Weave/Perm, and now we have Team Sanctified VS Team Hoe? Why does everything have to have a negative slant? Why not write a book on how to be a Lady instead of how not to be a hoe? This kind of mess gets me so tired. Using the same sexual language and imagery to belittle others who you consider to be “hoes” and make money off their life choices is worse than a “hoe” mind her own dam(n) business. We need to do better and dragging each other down isn’t helping. Mentor some young girls, teach your sons to look at more than an instagram pics when choosing a partner, support couples in relationships. When I read that list I had to ask myself what’s worse, being a happy Hoe or a judgemental Bish? I don’t see myself on that list but I do see a lot of things that are none of my business.
I think so. I mean HoeFax should be like your credit score. Bad things drop off after 7 years so you’re good.
Like Draya, all my hoeness been deleted.
That counts as HOE sex. There is no such thing as a first date. Refer back to your manual. LOL
When I tell you I DIED when folks were commenting on their favorite fragrances they wear, and people were saying Love Spell. I didn’t know Vicki still make that.
I have lots of stories ?
LOVE SPELL!!! Yall Roses be having the best comments. I got the Love Spell Collector’s bag (purse) from B&B back in the day. Gave it to my niece when she was 5 now she 15 out here tricking and snicking…Maybe you right on this one HAHAHA
Like some sh!t they pass out at Planned Parenthood? LOL
Yes lawd. And some never change.
LOL
This chick said ” In my opinion if a man looks at you and SAYS you are a hoe or you are doing hoeish things then you are a hoe”…UHH HOE WHET?!
……………….
You a hoe sis.
Well technically I’m born again virgin myself. Been with only one dude the past 7 years and ain’t gave him none in a year. My hyman done reattached at this point.
Is it online somewhere for free?
Well mean are like drug sniffing dogs when it comes to Hoe’s so maybe they sniffed the hoe out?
Oh yeah, just to give an update adout my situation I posted on about my best friend getting married and me being her MOH in addition to her having 17 brides maids…and her being rude, disrespectful and demanding as heck…long story short
After not speaking to me after our last convo..She came to my house 2 days later with her future dude to talk to me and My hubby to try smooth things over…things were going ok until the money situation came up. After a few Dranks it came out, her dude was giving her money to pay for stuff, but she was squandering it away and basically using her friends trying to make a come up….he.was.HEATED! They got into a huge fight..Mr called over all the groomsmen and I called the bridesmaids over to the house…her future dude started calling the shots. He cut the wedding party down to 3 groomsmen/bridesmaids…food will be Buffett style…dress will be rented….no honeymoon vacation…took her brand new car back to the dealer….and wedding has been postponed…
I’m still her MOH tho…?
Her dude busted her down and got her together real quick…
#attitudeadjusted
Pick that mic back up, potnah! You’ve said nothing to warrant a mic drop. NEXT!
Me too. LOL
Her youtube interview..channel is General Taylor
They were dudes she used to mess with back in the day. She used to have relations with a few. I told her she may have unfinished business with her past
Her youtube interview..channel is General Taylor.
I’ve been sellabutt for almost 2 years. Is my hoeness revoked?
#6 got me stuck. I’m currently in a situationship with my herbal connect. I mean….we was at one time engaged and shared a residence and shat. But if he gone make my bag fatter than eery body elses…I can’t throw it back to the man a lil extra?
He also picked me up from dropping my car off last Saturday to get serviced. And then we was naked. I mean…?
QTNA
When I first got to college I tried to keep count… Now I don’t care. Been having the same peen since 2008. None of that chyt matter.
Seriously tho is that a man?
Alrighty then. Good for dude.
WOW!
She got put on punishment.
I wonder what she did with the money . .
<——— likes Love Spell…..prefers Endless Love….but rocks Gucci………and Adidas. #wellroundedhoe
You had your interview yet?
Well if you ever want to share, we is here
I think it’s a best seller. LOL
DAMN 40 WHOLE MINUTES JUST WENT BY? AND WHY OH WHY IS THIS RIGHT BEHIND VIOLA? SIGH.
The writer is right, except when it comes to friends/ family.. You may break up with someone and just remain friends … or you had a friend and had feelings for them,, It doesn’t make you a Whore<– correct spelling! #droppingthemicagain
I fuked a weed man or 2 or 3 or 4 ?
Meatloaf with Brown Gravy & Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes.
damn…do you boo
Yes. On Thursday morning. Which Is normally afternoon delight DAY WITH HERBAL MAN.
HONEY LISTEN!!!!!!!! They went IN on him and his all-white! I WAS SO WEAK!
You got that good good. I think that one only applied if you require them to have sex
Taking herself on shopping sprees, spa visits…by herself…smh
He got her punka$$ together real quick
I’m at work and why can’t these muhfuggin co-workers flush the got dam toilet. I mean shat!
Oh shoot! I’m clean as the driven snow then.
#rachetness
So mad that’s a thing, getting Neyo’d
It’s ok. ?
They prolly won’t make it down the aisle. I’m gone just be honest….
WE’Z HERE! #6 needs to be more defined. LOL
Totally.
Me and my friends went to this annual convention we go to twice a year. Anyways at the end of the night me and my best friend are discussing this dude. I’m telling her she should sleep with him bc he is fine. She says I should. I thought he was way out of my league. He was beautiful. Anyways he ended up being into me. Our friend was already in the hotel room drunk and passed out. My best in said she was going to sleep. I asked him if he cared. He said no he liked an audience. It was dark I don’t think you could really see anything. We did stuff. My best friend fell asleep. The friend that was already asleep woke up and later told me she watched and got herself off without us noticing. She’s wild. Smh
I asked that 2.
I mean he the current dude. From the past. Who now my connect as well.
#6 got me fugged up.
She what being a HOOD hoe will getcha’. What kinda car was it? LOL
lol… Did you like them? Are they shooting the normal crap?
Just read the book summary and a handful of reviews. The book is a comedy.
Showed off with the lights and cable off. LOL
What if you did some of this stuff when you were young and stupid? Are you still a hoe? LOL LOL
…………………
Oh I believe they will….but I’ll have to wait and see *shrugs*
Look at God. Won’t he do it? Won’t he?
Tacos
Spaghetti
or
BLT’s (LOL I just had one of these. So good!)
Well. I was best friends with mine and he slept with his half cousin sister. So he gave me permission to sleep with the halfhalf cousin. Her brother. Best dack ever. And me and him are still good friends. No sex in ovr ten years
I was like rides. What kind of rides.?
Trips. I mean that be the purpose of the trip. To fugg. I’m supposed to pay for the room? Foh.
I’m so confused
I posted one
I know, right? Is there an expiration date on the hoeism period…or is it permanent?
So if you put it on a man and he can’t walk afterwards are you a ho?
Asking for a friend.
“This article number 6 in the quoted text of the author’s memoir does not coincide with what philosophies I have encountered therefore I rebuke the notion of this philosophy” (T.I. Voice) HAHAHAHA
Thing is….they small pharmaceutical. I’m CRO. I will probably mesh well. But I liked em. They seem cool.
My daddies six years apart. I’m starting to think. Maybe I wasn’t a hoe. I’m starting to null and void a few..
Hmmm…I think she just said that she is going to help you be a better hoe.
Lol lol
Hoes rule the world then lol
Ok Neicey
Try not to worry. GOD got the final say….
This will be his 1st child, so that may snap him out of it. I will say a prayer for you/yall. Again don’t worry, it’s not healthy for you or the baby.
DO NOT TELL HIM the lie of it not being his
My nigga! ?
is it a book of satire? I read a couple of pages but I got bored.
He still going to marry her after that? She basically robbed him. No. She straight up robbed him. Wow. Interesting situation.
My homegirl took a trip on her baby college graduation & paid for the room. I was so disappointed in her when I found out ?
LOL!
Worrying about someone’s elses sexual history you aren’t involved with makes you a busy bish. If other people want to hoe and you don’t fine. I’m not a heaux and unless I’m screwing you I don’t care!
He workin up on it. We beefin bad and I’m being petty and shadin’ him in the process. LMAO
LOL!
YES, THAT’S THE ONE. ok. I saw it and could not stop laughing. Eddie was dead ass in that pic.
BRUH!! It was a 2015 BMW 650i Series Coupe…black with chrome custom rims…
Early wedding gift to her
I drove it and they had to peel me out that drivers seat…
But when he confiscated that car? I tried hard to get him to sell it to me….
She said that you should consider your relationship your job. You should conduct yourself as if your boyfriend is your boss and the relationship is a means to provide for yourself. So, if your man wants you to wear stilletos and chew Juicy Fruit bubblegum….you better do it.
This hoe bet not be on the New York Times bestseller list ?
OK, stop talking. She missing that old thang is what it is. Yep, un-finished business. I wonder if she’s satisfied sexually by hubby.
What dried up sterile bish wrote this. So I’m a hoe for accepting gifts?? Who would have thunk it. The shame I feel until my next date.
I’ve paid for a cheap motel one time..the kind where you pay by the hour…don’t judge me.
Yeah it is…That’s why the wedding is postponed…they got some thangs to work out….but we’ll see I guess…
Whitty! Is you a hoe too? I would hang my head but then I realized I ain’t shamed ?
No you are just good at what you do, which in turn will get you clothes, money, trips, drugs and rides………which according to the featured brochure…….will surely qualify you as a HOE. So wait, yeah, you’re a hoe. #ownit
Well dayum
Hey babes…do not yet…but I got time
Sometimes it’s good entertainment. Lol.
I know right! I just want to know. LOL LOL
Not a deal breaker for all.
omg gIRL i JUST DIED LAUGHING AT U AZZ ON THE JOB……………#FLATLINED
Then that might make you a CHEAP hoe. LOL
Shyt my cousin and I was messing with the same dude for years. She used to talk to him on the phone. But I used to come to town we’d get DOWN. She talked about it, EYE was about it….I told her to talk to him about not me….so yeah I’m #3 for sure.
Ok, I got a real life situation that just happened this weekend. Me and my buddies were tailgaiting after the Janet concert and a drunk dude was wondering around looking for his car. So he chatted with us for a while and revealed that he was a truck driver who lived alone and came to the concert alone. He flashed a wad of cash to prove that he wasn’t a bum. Also brought a whole cooler full of drinks to share with us after he found his car. Am I a hoe for considering taking advantage of him?
You mean to tell me I been a hoe all this time? I was done before we hit #5!
Dang. Lol
I was lowkey scared. He was like I can’t walk. I can’t move.
Smh. Big baby
This her firstborn college graduation. She didn’t even buy him a gift, but you paying for you & a dude to lay up.
Giggles you and me both!
I just watched an interview with her and she is really Deadazz…she is always a hoe who even married will never retire just be a hoe for her husband…bc being a good girl gets you cheated on
Oh shyt. Hail no.
That doesn’t bother me my homegirl & her priorities bothered me.
Anybody ever tried the KFC potpie?
yes an E-moral HOE
Thank you. Prayer is appreciated. And I’m not gonna lie to him. I will continue to be a good wife. I won’t do wrong. I’m just gonna b stress free.
Ion’t know. Superhead good at what she do.
LMMFAO – Yes that still counts for #7! I need some water!
No. He was showing you what he had to offer in his natural habitat.
For a reason
NO
He is just lonely and needs ah fren
Since I missed the post I asked for I will just have to comment here… I’m letting my petty shine through cause I love Viola speech but then she had to include Gabrielle union in her should out >.> #yougonetoofar Megan was reaching (but she has a new show coming to Fox so I let it slide) then she came with Gabby *vomit* for why Viola?
And then we was naked
**************
This part is what kilt me dead right here. Clothes just fell off and nobody knows how. You know you made him late to drop off somebody medicine.
New post.
BTW…that is a woman uptop..right?
You a mess!!!!!!!!
He was my Htown bew, but we was both from Dallas. We ended up being in Dallas for Thanksgiving break at the sam time. It was too many folks at his crib and mine. So we had to get up on a room R. Kelly style….
You know you’re a ‘Hoe’ when you’re able to write all the things whore’s do , or have done. Sounds like examples of her personal experiences.
Yes delicious!!
See see see! That’s what I’m sayin. He was offering it. My buddies were clowning him something terrible…..but I got the digits right quick.
No. He came with I’m sangle and I got a job and not a bunch a kids taking 3/4 my check in CS… He basically sent up the poosay bat signal… Do what nature intended
I’m not on there aayyee!!!! But… Since its no specific Topic…
I be fucking my pastor! It started when Hurricane Ike hit Galveston in 2008 and our Brother Church in Dallas, god bless them, offered to pay for our hotels and host our Sunday Services together. I had only known him a year and the first day I saw him up there 1 of my braids fell out in front of him and he picked it up, I said “thankyou” and told me “”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9″
LONG STORY SHORT
l laughed so loud that everyone looked at us which made his wife jealous, she kicked him out the room that night over it, he came to my room, we got it on, I found out that even men of god like their butt licked, and we been fucking ever since 3 times a week while his wife takes her mom to Dialysis. #DontJudge #HeavenKnows #iLuhGod
Hoe violation.
Children come first. I can be a hoe on my own time. He shouldn’t have even BEEN at the college function unless that’s been her dude for years. I hate that too. Why you got your dude who ain’t been part of your child life for long at MILESTONE events? Unless yall been together….say 5 years plus at time of event? Leave his azz at home.
Meh…you may be hoeish or have hoe tendencies, but I don’t think that act qualifies you into the hoedom.
Get it Bird. Lol
I’m not on there aayyee!!!! But… Since its no specific Topic…
I be doing my pastor! It started when Hurricane Ike hit Galveston in 2008 and our Brother Church in Dallas, god bless them, offered to pay for our hotels and host our Sunday Services together. I had only known him a year and the first day I saw him up there 1 of my braids fell out in front of him and he picked it up, I said “thankyou” and told me “”Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9″
LONG STORY SHORT
l laughed so loud that everyone looked at us which made his wife jealous, she kicked him out the room that night over it, he came to my room, we got it on, I found out that even men of god like their butt licked, and we been sexing ever since 3 times a week while his wife takes her mom to Dialysis. #DontJudge #HeavenKnows #iLuhGod
yeah. I dont even know her and I’m disappointed in her. Was she never gonna get to see this dyck again or some chit?
And what island yall was on later that year?
She been dealing with dude for a minute, but her kids aren’t a part of it. Example she spent Thanksgiving with dude in another city & her kids weren’t invited.
Disappointed? Nah I would have beat her azz then adopted said grown baby…don’t be hurting chirrens feelings
That friends 1 is BS.
Nope.??
So this JUST happened to my girl like a month ago. She pregnant by her dude. The side chick popped up when she was over there. She talmbout can we talk for a minute.. He go outside and ol girl cussing, crying, talmbout how you gon have her over here… My girl called me dying laughing……
i shook my head at the whle thing cause I wouldn’t be either one of them chicks but still funny
My kids would’ve been pissed!
What is wrong with you LOL!!!!! I rebuke you devil and grabs my holy water!
stop talking bout this hoe b4 i end up in chi town looking for her tracks
You made it to #5?!!
hole the fugg up. Thanksgiving!!! Heffa you spent Thanksgiving away from your kids to be with some nicca. I dont give a damn holidays are for FAMILY if you cant brang your azz around and eat some of this food we will get together over the damn weekend.
Thanksgiving is the only holiday I like. It’s a big deal in my family.
My friend had a birthday gangbang. I swear! It was her and 7 or 8 dudes. We all watched at her bday party.
I saw R. Kelly style and imagined yall pissing on each other.
Almost had to think about #4 again LOL!
WHAT SIS.
Pastor Peen
?????????
Dammit! Gone for real now.
Its been so long, i dont think its wrong anymore. Hell, i even donated a kidney to their son.
You da real life Ms. Parker?
Wtf
Welp
LOLOLOL Oh I can’t with you. You are hella funny!
I just Devoured it. It was so big, and I ate it all
So he was giving her wedding checks and she was buying weave then trying to scam her friends into paying off her wedding??? Like she did it on purpose, like schemed or one of those things where you mean to pay the cable bill but buy a pair of shoes instead… Oh no this chick would find herself dumped and with no friends…
I needed this laugh: nowaygirl.com/memes/when-that-direct-deposit-hits-memes
You & the pastor ? Are you married also?
This a joke right
Crakin Up!!
Lmao. This happened last night
OK so clearly some of these are questionable but #1 is clear signs of hoedom. If you can’t remember all the people you’ve slept with yikes..that’s some hoe ish lol. I’m wondering if this list applies to men too?
How on earth did ole girl miss this shat on the list? Chile you better kick that demon out of your bed. Nothing good can come of this. Ooh, I’m scarred to mess with the Lord like that.
CRACKING ALL THE WAY UP!! This list shows I’m a hoe and so is my mama, grandmama and great grandmama. I blame genetics.
Screaming Laughter!!! I was to scared to finish the list.
I hollered!!!!!!
LMAO!!
She so descriptive that I don’t think she playing!
I broke 3 and 5 and seems like the last one about DNA is alot of people I know. I guess I never thought of myself a hoe but a person who was flawed and overcame it?
Ok, you lyin. Whew! Had me over here praying and throwing holy Deer Park water at my computer screen.
Exactly we call put that in the hoe hall of fame!
LMAO HOLY DEER PARK!!!
BIRD you are a trip
Cue…Tina Turner…I’m your private dancer…dancer for money…I’ll do what you want me to do…..
Chile
of course not! Im fine with what we got. He is the best man I know, He is the reason I went back and got my associates and Straight up… I’m just in love with him and if his wife was with it I wouldnt mind a polyandry relationship
oh shyt!!. good for dude. Cause she was being a bit too damn much. I dont like to say bad things but I dont see this marriage lasting long if it happens at all.
got a weave. I’m being an ass. Sorry Seavooplay bff.
My mouth literally dropped
Thanks for answering
She was trying to come up off of us…skraight scamming us
LOL
#BlackLivesMatter ??
Hahaha
How can being single and in the club every nite make you a hoe? You have to be screwing to go out?
Chile??
That chit about him being at her baby college function period got me heated. My hg did that chit.? And my cousin too. My mama got my cousin all the way together on that chit. Damn dude at my niece prom send off (its like a huge party etc) and she had only been with dude a year, maybe 1.5 at that point. And same deal. He wont even involved with her daughter like that. We not saying no Ciara type chit. Don’t have man round your kids etc. But damn it. Now we got this man in pics, video of this baby moment and yall not even together 6-7 years later. Wtf.
Well that’s what I’m waiting to see…but the groom was like
“Say bruh, gone head and keep helping her plan, but we go some $hit to work thru…but it’s postponed till further notice”
I was like ? Ok
Small town living….
I’m bout to talk about your fren. This dumb wanch is driving around in THIS kinda car and dont know how to do right. Who is her damn Momma cause she has a retarded doorter and dont know it. :rollseys: and stomps off mad as fugg.
No judgement cuz I frequented one in my younger days
I wouldnt marry her azz she showing you she can not be trusted.
You eat azz?
He lives about three hrs away, but I think she just wanted to show him off to her ex husband
As soon as I saw number 2 and 4 im like uh oh!
If you don’t get somewhere and set down. You gotta put that pride aside sometimes, boo.
Well
There go an azz licker.
up there ^^^^^
You stay accusing ME
Is ICDC college hiring?
I’m done at the azz eating
??? Sanctified ass at that??? Chile??
She tossing the pastor’s salad you and me both girl!
??Yeen the only one???
The expert knows
I HAD MY PHASE AND A SLIGHT PHASE AT THAT…ONLY .5 OF ONE OF THESE APPLIES
IF IT AIN’T CADILLACS AND FURS? CLINK CLINK…
-PULLS STOMACH FLAB OVER BODY-
I grew up really religious. I’m kind of going through a hoe phase right now. I sleep with anyone who wants me. So far my number’s 3
I will never understand people who post nude pics online or save them on their phone.
Your body is one of the most sacred things you can share with another person, and if you give it away like tap water, it’s no longer special.
Hellllllll Noooooo-(In Tony the Tiger voice).
It was nice!! NY plane. Kc car! Texas car!; It was the same fool still trying get back. Nope I am taken now!!
LOL! Mama always sayin the baby gone be stressed out for one reason or another.
This book is dumb, if you have a child by your husband divorce and get married to another man how is that a hoe ? If ur spouse is insecure and wants a dna test for the child, how is a woman a hoe. Family member relatives and etc….
Anyone with common sense is not going to do that.. This book was made for dumb low ball ratchet women.. Details details make a world of difference. Research helps a lot when than using dumb shit you seen ur friends do to make a book to vent.
Thank you!! We are!!?
You the good good. Kiss and make up!!???
Let me scroll up to see if a Basketball Wife wrote this ish.
You’re good now. 7 years means your HoeFax is cleared of all negatives entries.
Thank you for fonting this before I did! It’s a wonder he still wants to get married after she stole money from him all the while riding around in a $65K car.
LMAO LMAO
Alot of folks I know that go to Pharma don’t want to go back to CRO world. I almost went Pharma once and am still considering going after a position that I should’ve gotten the first time around. We’ll see though, these folks around these parts are about to get the deuces if they don’t get some act right.
Aren’t women tired of shaming each other with this crap? Everyone has a past, granted some much more sordid than others….but let folks live. As long as these people are protecting themselves, it ain’t my bizness. The same folk who are quick to condemn are usually the ones who’ll have their legs in the air the min they get a whiff of some d ??.
I didn’t thank I was a ho but I’ve been made aware by number 9 lol and his father who looks just like him requested it out of spite lol. Lawdt.
3 out of 9…
I thought your hoeness could be deleted though ?
I kinda agree ?
Straight from a hoe..to try and tell someone else..bish betta sat down somewhere… she was just revealing her last few weeks of lifestyle activities…
??????
Why we never saw you font, just today. Sorry my culable cup is full?
Why do you care what someone else does with their vagina anyway?
I don’t consider number 6 whoreish behavior….it should fall under maintenance…..and upkeep.
5 out of 10 bad girl turn good with some old hoeish ways
#1-You can’t possibly expect me to remember the 90’s…. #2-See #1…. #3-5 Nope, I’m good. #6 Exchanged or Was Given? There’s a difference. #7-9 Nope, I’m good.
1-3, will be me…. But NO KIDS!! LOLOLOL
So my sex life hasn’t hit any of these “hoe” benchmarks BUT #6…hmmm…that’s a little debatable for most women being as though 3 good consecutive dates will get you entry to the wild kingdom. What would that be considered? Escort-ism?
(Hangs bead in shame)LAWDY LAWDY LAWDY…(throws head back and WAILS)ONE THRU SEVEN IS ME!!!TAKE ME TO THE KANG!!!!!
You STOOOPID!!!!!:’))))
WOW
(Runs in looking for you from upstairs in a panic)UNY,IM 1 TO 7!!!!
NO….does he have a big #$%&
BEST FRIENDS AND BROTHA IN LAWS…(Forrest Gump vc)and that’s all imma say about that!
Anybody crazy with a K if they think I’m PHUCKING for anything less than sum shit I can use.but you gone be working with sumthin from the get go.my patience so shawt Jesus!!!
True!
? this is dumb as hell judgemental bull. So if your husband/bf does something wonderful for you and then you proceed to f@&k the shit out of him you a hoe? If G-d forbid you were in a relationship with someone and you have a child if it doesnt work out in the end your womb must go on hiatus? Even if you meet the man of your dreams? Why does it matter if you have two sexual partners that are friends? What if you live in a small town where everyone knows everybody else? Or maybe you and your ex’s friend just really hit it off? Like what? Just why to this whole list
Guess I’m a hoe ?
Tired of seeing theses types of books for Blacks… I went to 125th in HARLEM. Black Owned bookstores are now closed and replaced with Corporate Owned Chicken Wings Spots.. The bookstores owners sells theses THOT books in every street corners. Such a sad sight now…
??? I’m here for this!!!
I was guilty of number two!
Why the labels?
who the fugg cares??!!! really who cares about the fugg shii… good lawd… folk still checkin other folk puzzay odometers in 2015?
bout time I got to 6 I had to sat down somewhere..so I guess im a sitting hoe. lmfao!!
I got 1 on the list. Guess im a hoe. Oh well
I got 3 out of 9 lol.
YOU TOO!!!??? I mean, uh…my FRIEND… oh, nevermind. ???
Well….sounds about right…
Lmao ??
If you’ve only been celibate a year, then I still consider you a ho (with love). I’m trying to figure out if Bush or Obama was in office the last time I was the recipient of an *ahem* eggplant. *Drake voice* No lie, no lie, no liiieeeeeee. Lol. That’s the peril of having taken care of folks for years and devoting your life to their recovery when you probably should’ve just allowed them to transition. Oh, well. ??????? I’m the REAL born again virgin. (Not that I was ever doing much to begin with, but yeah.)
Sandra if this is the best you can do you should think about pulling a Necole Bitchie.
You’s a hot azz mess chile. No worries I also flunked the test! ??
Will you please fax me some ho-ness? Sometimes, I break out singing, “There’s some hos in this house! There’s some hos in this house!” Then I start crying, because there ain’t nothing but some cobwebs and regenerated hymens in this house.
Signed,
Willing to bust it open for a goon, and possibly a goblin ?
Well sense I’m now an OFFICIALLY QUALIFIED HOE! (thumb in suspenders,rocks back and forth on toe and heel)…you think I can get on AMBER ROSE’S crew for SLUT WALK?
I’m 53 years old. According to this list, I’ve been a hoe a time or two or three or four…
BTW I put a year+ I wasn’t specific about the actual number. Good for you on your status. Do what works for you but I’ll determine my ho status. Thanks.
#1 i dont necessarily need a pen and paper but i need more than 2 hands lol ????????????????? at least i remember the names
Ok, so my current bf use to b homies/associates with my baby daddy. They went to middle school together and use to trap together about 4 yrs ago. Ive been with my bf for about 3.5 yrs and i was with my baby daddy for 9 yrs until i ended the rltshp 4/2011. I love my bf ssssooo fuckin much he’s a good person, a man of character, reserved, etc not to mention he mks love to me and eat the box like no man has ever done ? im kinda afraid to tell my baby daddy that im dating his ex-homeboy bc i kno he’s gonna have a bitch fit lol does that mk me a hoe? Me and my bf have this strong connection its crazy!!
Lawd lol Nia is Tripping
Is that a man or a woman?
I was being facetious when I replied to you. Your comment was hilarious, IMO. I placed “(with love)” in my reply in hopes that you would know I was joking and not actually referring to you or anyone else here as a “ho.” Attempt at being self depricating FAIL. Have a wonderful night, and congratulations to you on your status.
Okay um#2? guess ima h oe LOL
If you’re too damn sorry to spell out simply words and wear that hoe bun on your head Cherry Bomb “UR” a hoe.
Who hasn’t done #3? Shyt that’s how you met to begin with.
Says the girl with a toupee on her head…and named Cherry Bomb lol!!!!!!!!?????
Some girls kill me who had no CHOICE but to keep their legs closed (because of obvious reason)! Want to act like they chose not to f?k- no one wanted to f?k u!!!!
#openpost
we all know the chick who wrote this post is a whore
Tap water…??????
Hey 100??????
Hey, long time no see! How are you?
I didn’t think about that. That is real real. Sorry so early. The baby don’t let me sleep at night.
Well. I can’t really tell. 9 years with one kinda makes the homeboy off limits. Bd must have told bf some good shat about you. And if bd still dont know almost 4 years later. Either they are not cool or u might may b an undercover hoe. Maybe. But I’m not knocking u. According to the list I’s a hoe too.
Fugg him. I’m about to go use up all his Kroger fuel points. #pettycrocker
<——— not done being petty. I'm about to go use up all of his Kroger fuel points. #pettywap
Well start planning. Come to “the ‘hamas” with me/us in Dec. LOL
See, you’re trying to get body slammed. You gone have that man go up to the pump thinking he’s getting $0.30 off per gallon, and you’ve already redeemed them. I’ll pray for you, sister. LMBO
WHALE, for the last year or so, I’ve been a part-time hoe since Honey Dip and I are doing the long distance thing. After conversing with some Roses, it’s been determined that I’m probably not a hoe at all
Any old song will do……
And I KNOW he has EXACTLY THAT $0.30. LMAO He started it. We having profile wars on da book of faces and errything.
Reformed 12 years looool
Of course you aren’t. But it is fun to fantasize/pretend. I believe it is possible to be a “ho,” if you will, for the one you love. That, IMHO (<~ no pun intended) is pretty awesome.
Signed,
The only dip I have is queso fundido. ???
oh digitty damn. I’m the biggest hoe. oh boy
Teal Deer is a a HOE!
Ya’ll are too funny…
Wait. Is this a real book though. How the eff gave a person whose pen name is Cherry Bomb a publishing deal. Hooked On Phonics needs to make a comeback.
Alrighty then.
I’m a hoe
@ least one of these 99.9% of women in the world can relate to …People kill me trying to justify what others are….Stay in your lane social media gangster>>>>>…..SMH!!!
Hey???
I’m good – how are you?
FREE PRYNN
When you’re not upset anymore SR. She only said what all of us have said in the past. This new change is difficult, and doesn’t seem as nice as it used to be. Lurkers have contacted us all saying the same thing.
To quote my girl Jill Scott: “Shit, I was a hoe!”
lol.
I’m great, thanks! ?
You young hoes ain’t got nothing on a old hoe; I am headed to my 40th high school class reunion and I can’t wait to bust it open for my high school crush. I got commitment issues anyway, can’t commit to one man.
p.s. I want to emphasize being a good hoe and looking out for your future, he a hoe too so your min. hoe fee should be $500.00 and don’t ever give him a gift, never, he just want that hot stuff for nothing, leaving you with his dirty stuff and he don’t love you either, he love that hot stuff.
Best hoe story: old dude called but now he got grand kids he has to support so his money ain’t what it used to be right. So I told him when he called I’d just seen some sandals for $537, he seemed disappointed and hung up. After not hearing from him after 2 wks I called him and told him I saw the same sandals for $400 something–we just friends now.
whenever a b calls me a hoe I tell her “it takes one to know one.”
I know some of the best undercover hoes in town
Lol….yes my bd homeboys knew i was a good woman….and he wasnt shit!! My bf always tell me that he has loved me even b4 I knew it but he cudnt tell me bc i was still with my bd. He said “ive always felt this connection with u even tho we never really talked to each other” lol he doesnt talk to my bd anymore thats y he doesnt know but i surely havent told him either. Im kinda afraid that he will get really upset and stop talking to our child ?
I knew it. See baby daddy let his friend know too much. When guys are friends. They pretend its all good they homeboys being a dog. They are thinking all along how they can treat u better. If bd stop talking to the baby. He ain’t shat. But I’m sure he must at least be a good dad. And if you and bf get real serious bd will eventually find out. And he will learn what all women know. Don’t tell your friends about your mate and keep your dirt to yourself…
Lol straight facts!!
“If more than one person has ever called you a hoe, ur a Hoe.”
“If more than one person has ever called you a hoe, ur a Hoe.”
Lesson: Old hoes can’t afford decent punctuation.
Lesson: Old hoes can’t afford decent punctuation.
Glad to know that she can afford the “w” and the “r”.
Glad to know that she can afford the “w” and the “r”.
When you need to write a book called, “I am not a hoe,” then ur a hoe.
When you need to write a book called, “I am not a hoe,” then ur a hoe.
you know what. women cant do shit without them being whores. #oppressed
besides. i forgot all of their names.