The gunman who killed 3 people at a Chicago hospital on Monday targeted his former fiancee, a doctor who worked in the hospital’s emergency room.
Dr. Tamara O’Neal was gunned down by her former fiancé, 32-year-old Juan Lopez, while walking into the hospital on Monday afternoon.
Witnesses saw Dr. O’Neal and Lopez arguing in the hospital parking lot. When a friend tried to intervene, Lopez lifted his shirt to reveal a handgun.
The friend ran into the hospital to find help, and gunfire rang out seconds later.
Police say Lopez shot O’Neal once, and when she fell to the ground, he stood over and shot several more times.
Lopez then shot and killed Chicago PD Officer Samuel Jimenez and pharmacy resident Dayna Less before turning the gun on himself.
Friends say Dr. O’Neal was “dedicated to her church” and she had “a heart of gold,” according to Chicago 5 News.
Colleagues described Dr. O’Neal as a hard worker who was tenacious and stood out among her peers. She showed leadership skills early in her training as a medical student at Southern Illinois University, and she was a volunteer and CPR trainer in Illinois Heart Rescue Project community outreach programs for underserved populations.
This is so sad. You don’t know what you getting into when dating people. Sometimes by the time you realize they aren’t the one for you, it’s too late like this situation. Praying for all the family, friends, and co-workers. so sad.
Trust…………..I’m a criminal justice major and a crime documentary
buff for over 30 years………..about to reenter the dating scene in a few months………….and SCARED to death of what I will be encountering as I go along in my journey………..I hope I find compatibility really fast so I can jump/leap/dive/header out of the dating game!!!!!!!!!!!! Pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!
F*cking coward , didn’t even have the courage to face the consequences .
Prayers for all the families affected by this senseless violence.
So very sad. Smh.
These unstable men with the mentality of “If I can’t have you, nobody else will”, is insane! We’re dealing with an ex judge that just killed his estranged wife! He’s an ex judge because he beat her severely in 2014! Education level, socio=economic standing none of it matters.
Smh…I knew him too
This hospital is about 2 miles from my house. It was pure chaos yesterday.
RIP to the her and the 2 other people that were killed. The police officer that was killed wasn’t even supposed to be there. He heard the call over the radio and went to assist. He had just finish his probationary period with the force. 28 years old with 3 little kids. Just sad. Prayers to his family.
And I don’t usually cape for the police, but this was sad and senseless…
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b5e9c9d10d9a8bae64b89dac70703e783add039dcc6c5d0030d2a9ced0f49eb0.jpg
It is insane! These people are psychopaths! He had the nerve to write a self help book and has a blog dedicated to his narcissism. He never took responsibility for his own actions and was always the victim. If you care to look the site is battlethru.com
Got to do your best to watch for the signs smh got a friend that came out of court yesterday and both her tires on the right side where flat smh and a couple weeks ago she was talking about marrying the same dude smh
This is 2 sad, womenz need 2 move like ghosts when trying to get away from these men (or become a ghost), if u have to u will know or do it just in case. *Oh he went out of town? Come back.* “Where did she go with the stuff and the kids?” Stay safe out there ladies!
Jesus, praying for her family.
Coincidentally, I witnessed a man drag his gf out of a car across the parking lot, climb on top of her and commence to choking the shyt out of her the other day at Walmart. F.cked my nerves up real bad.
omg this is so sad
I see stuff like that all the time smh it’s just sad.
Did you do anything to help her?
You help and dam near get killed then she right back with him in a week smh
What does this mean
Oh no!! And my instinct would be to run and help BUT these ppl so crazy these days they taking the person out and you right along with them. It’s scary
Or they have a gun like this man and shoot and kill you then her then himself ????? Had that friend not ran they would have most likely got shot too
Right. The problem was way before that assault.
It means God will protect U from ALL your enemies. If U believe In him.
Thanks for the interpretation.
I’ve seen many stories of “professional” so-called educated women with violent men. They have bachelor degrees, masters, Phds, the whole dynamics of education but when it comes tot heir personal life it’s a mess. Many times these women are engaged or married to these men even though they have already been abused by them.
This is true. My sister has been with her loser dead beat piece of ???? husband for over 25 years. He abuses her verbally and physically. I stopped getting involved because she goes right back to him or she’ll stick up for him if you say something bad.
They live 3k miles away in another state. I told that negro if he ever steps foot in NY or come to a family reunion down south it’s a wrap for him. ?
Lord have mercy on all the innocent souls that were lost yesterday. I hope when the gunman left this earth yesterday that he left in a gasoline filled bucket with meteors shooting at him from hell as he approached it. Sumbitch didn’t even have the nerve to face his crimes and do the time. Oh, but he finna do internal time in hell.
I could repeat what I have said in the past about domestic violence and getting out when the first red flag is raised (his hand) but I won’t because just when you think you’ve heard and seen all the crazy in this world something like this happens and you’re left kind of speechless and heartbroken.
Listen. Love should never hurt and it should never hurt you. If it does hurt, it ain’t love so let it go. Please be safe.
These church women with their I can save the world mentality.
RIP to all!!!
You’ve got the wrong approach. Why you want to ” find compatibility really fast so I can jump/leap/dive/header out of the dating game!!!!!!!!!!!!” Why do you want that? The last thing you want is to be with someone just to be with someone. And don’t jump in having sex either. Sex is powerful. See the person for who they are not what you want them to be. Dating is not a game as you can see from what happened to this woman.
I guess this bum dude finally realized she came to her senses and called it off.
I bet he was planning living a good life off of her hard work.
Sorry for all the victims involved.
As a man that’s what’s so confusing smh you can pass the bar exam but you can’t see Tyrone is a loser smh women are complex individuals
Not tuday chile …. not doing it … sending love to the family affected by this….. not feeding these death storiesno more https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/280af94b4e6f9837031514beb46cc09bda7bed2baab942ea4293410403dc0c19.gif …… Nerp!
A lot of this has to do with the relationship the man has with his mother in how he treats women and when they have issues with relationships with women
That’s what I was writing about in my other post. Many times these women know these men are abusive and stay with them anyway. People think it’s only uneducated hood type women but it’s professional women too.
Full Walmart Domestic Violence Story–
So I was putting my groceries in the car and I heard yelling and across the parking lot it looked like a commotion. But, I couldn’t tell if it was kids playing or not. I look around and I see people looking in the general direction but no one is doing anything. Then she starts yelling, “Why are you doing this to me? Stop!!” over and over again. That’s when I start walking over in the direction. I pull my phone out and start calling the police. This white dude is a little in front of me and he’s like, are you calling the police? I confirm. He then starts yelling for the dude to get off of her. I finally get over there and there is a black man (about 50 or so) standing there watching and he said he was on the phone with the cops. Two studs come running up the parking lot also yelling for him to get off of her.
Long story short because I’m tired of typing. He gets up, gets in his car and leaves. She stands around for like 2 minutes then she runs to her car and leaves before the police get there.
I knew about his book/site however I would never give him one click, what he did to Aisha was disgusting in 2014, she was driving in Shaker, witnesses called the police because he was beating her while she drove, hitting her head against the dashboard and all, the sick F! That the mayor wrote letters on his behalf to the parole board to get him released sooner is also DISGUSTING!
True The best you can do is call 911 and keep it stepping
She was chubby and probably had a low self esteem and the bum dude capitalized on that. But she came to her senses, but too late unfortunately.
That’s what I’m talking about.
Or the mother has nothing to do with it and these men are just sick F’s!
Even more to do with the relationship he has with his dad. In my humble opinion
Women stay because they can’t find a way out you should see how police treat women who report abuse they give that same attitude oh she’ll be back with him next week so ma’am there’s nothing we can do. And the moment you take legal action that person will become enraged and there is no protection for the woman.
Yes it was unfortunate
My daughter is in an abusive relationship lives in another state I have not seen her in 6 years. I just keep praying ? its a nightmare. I come here to laugh and joke everyday because my heart is completely broken…
There’s always a way out. Women need to be smarter about their choices and not excited about d*ck.
So sad! Ladies protect your hearts from falling for lunatics… Don’t ignore warning signs just to have a mate. Things always tend to escalate in abusive relationships; they don’t get better. This goes for mental and emotional abuse not only physical abuse….they are all connected
Rescue her, even if she hates you afterwards.
All over a ring. My condolences to the victims families. My mom and cousin go there for their doctor appointments.
Not trying to be funny but you just had to let us know it was two “studs”?
Did that numerous times she goes back…
When I was a teen, my mother told me to pray on EVERY single person I dated, and do it the moment I meet them or think I’m interested in them. She said if I waited until after we were dating I might catch feelings and then ignore the warning signs and red flags or blow them off because I would be too caught up. The reason she said that is because you don’t know who and what is introducing themselves to you. You just see someone attractive with a nice smile and potential. When I started out dating, I used to do it, but then got tired of doing it because I was young and didn’t think it was necessary. I thought my mother was just being old fashioned. One day I began dating someone. After about a month, I realized the person wasn’t for me, and I thought we weren’t together long enough to get attached, plus we had never had secks. I was wrong. THEY DIDN’T GO AWAY. I tried not taking calls, not returning calls, being nice, being stern, cussing them out, said I found someone else, nope….didn’t work. One day they told me the ole’ “if I can’t have you no one can” line. I was terrified to say the least. They eventually came up to my job, (I was just out of high school working at Taco Bell) I went outside to talk to him because I didn’t want a scene on my little job. He put his hands around my neck and said, “I want to know how it’s gonna feel to choke the life out of you.” I convinced him not to kill me on my job. He eventually let me go and I walked away and went back to work. I quit working that night. His threats and harassment went on for 2 months. One day he called and said he was on his way to kill me. I got mad at the threats by then and figured if I’m gonna die, I’m going out swinging, and told him to come because I got a 45 and bullet waiting on him. He was startled and got quiet on the other end of the phone. I said ‘while you’r looking for me, me and my brother are looking for you. We taped all those messages you left, so this will be self defense. I’m on my way to KILL YOU!’ I never heard from him again. After that, I listen to my mom and prayed on each and every person that entered my life. The prayer was simple. “God if you see ANYTHING I can see or can’t about this person that can cause me pain or harm in anyway remove them from my life now. Don’t let either one of us get attached or go any further.” I never had another problem. Sometimes they left after one phone call conversation. I live by that code. I was 17 at the time, but it scared me straight. I also pray over jobs before I take them too. You know how people love to shoot up their jobs. Sorry for being long winded, but you guys know me by now. Have a great day, and prayers and thoughts go out to the family.
OMG!! This is so sad….RIP to this woman. She had so much life and promise in her future, only to be killed by a maniac!!! My prayers go to her family and friends.
Wow. I don’t know but it seems to me that domestic violence increases around the holidays. I was also in a parking lot yesterday putting groceries in the trunk of my car and a car slowly road past and the guy was screaming at the top of his lungs at this woman and he was saying he was going to eff her up. When I heard that I looked up and when they saw me looking I immediately looked down like I didn’t see nothing. He continued driving slowly yelling at her. It almost looked like he was looking for a spot to pull over to whoop up on her. Now had he actually hit her or dragged her out of the car, I would have called 911. I am not the one to stand by and do nothing. My son’s tell me I need to mind my business and I tell them you definitely would want someone to help me if I were out and got robbed or something so I don’t want to hear it.
WOW!!!!
THat is scary! MAMA definitely taught you right!
The system failed her. Smh
I pray she gets out of that situation safely. Sorry that you’re going thru that.
ANOTHER Sad and senseless KILLING!
d*ck don’t care how smart you are…and let’s not act like p***y don’t have a lot of smart guys in jail or the grave either.
keep praying!!!
prayer is the only way and can do more than you can do.
How much you want to bet he was not on her level. She was going to make it work just to have a man to go along with the great life she created for herself, she came to her senses though and he couldn’t handle it or walk away because he had nothing to walk away to. She was his best shot in life. Bless her poor heart. I could be totally wrong but just a guess.
No she failed herself.
I had a stalker in college. A guy I dated, then decided I was not interested because I didn’t feel we were morally compatible and I didn’t have chemistry with him. This was a guy accustomed to getting what he wants at all times. He had money and thought he could buy me like he buys everything else. When I told him I wasn’t interested in dating him anymore, he began threatening to put pictures of me on his pornographic website and messaging me on phone and online messenger that he was going to find me, and sometimes he would describe what I wore that day. So disturbing. Ugh. Thank God he eventually got over it. Maybe he found someone else to harass.
No the system didn’t fail her cronyism did. When men can brutalize women and their peers continue to place them on a higher level, that’s not the system.
This breaks my heart. RIP beautiful. I wud love to know where Lopez will be buried so i can personally piss on his grave
Sad…they probably continued to fight somewhere else. I’m just like you, I will call the police and of I could get the plates I’d give that info too. It could save a life.
Cronyism is part of the system. You must not know how politics in Cleveland work.
Lol. I mean I was painting a picture. It wasn’t two regular females. I could have said “masive” studs…but I didn’t.
Yeah it’s hard to deal with.i don’t even speak to my sister anymore. I got tired of the b.s Last time I spoke with her he was in the background ask her who’s on the damn phone?? I told her to put that mofo on the phone and find out!! ?? I truly hate him. My sister is 9 years older than me, when I was younger he hit me and my mama was going to slice his ass up. She had her knife ready, he was crying begging my mom for forgiveness. Sadley the abuse started up when my mother died in 2001.
Nope let me give you my personal experience I met a guy within one month he showed he was crazy. I couldn’t just go and take a restraining order out because I had to prove he was a threat to my LIFE as in if I didn’t have the order he would kill me(apparently the city and county I was in had ppl that used restraining orders as get back so you had to have a solid case) It took me months to compile texts messages and document abuse and things he did I finally went to court to get a temporary order(you have to do that first) got that approved it took them a week to serve him and before they served him he showed up to my home beating on the door with a gun!! I called 911 and didn’t go to the door it took then police damn near 2 hours to show up I told the dispatcher I had a temporary restraining order and still took the police two hours when they got there of course he was gone they told me there was nothing they could do!! I asked if I could get a copy of the report they told me I had to go down to the station days AFTER to pick up the report once they complete it. Went to court almost a month later for the permanent order (one year order) there were 15 CASES BEFORE MINE ALL WERE DENIED!! Some cases I felt should have been approved I prayed the entire time mine would get approved and it did. He then started filing false stuff against me as retaliation even had me locked up!!!!!!! I had to MOVE to another state with no job no money!! About a year later a few days after the restraining order expired he sent me a msg on IG from an account he created because I had him blocked. I didn’t reply a few months later a female reached out to me wanted to know had he been abusive towards me because she had just got a restraining order on him and the way she found me is because she said my account always showed up in his search history because he kept stalking my IG page without my knowledge. SO in some cases it takes a lot and cost a lot to get away from someone it’s not as easy as just walking away I met that man in May and by October of that same year I had secured a restraining order that didn’t do much but piss him off. And cost me loads of money and two jobs. It took me 4months to build a solid case and then me moving to another state to get rid of him. And I’m not a rich or wealthy person leaving my home and place where I had established my life to get away from him left me homeless! Everybody can’t handle that some ppl think it’s easier to stay or hard to get out of. I gave up my establish life had to move to another state over a guy I had only known for 5 months!
Very similar…when/if she calls he’s in the background ranting. Its crazy and sad…
That part! Men who have something to lose carry themselves differently
Mmm there are questions that arise such as why they had contact with each other at all. But I’m not going to blame her for the actions of a mad man.
Awwwe I’ll add your baby to my prayer list. It find a way to get her up outta there! Sometimes women feel like they won’t have anything if they leave the abuser especially if they have become financially dependent on them
Wow. Good for you that you made it out.
And sociopaths and psychopaths can read their prey like a book.
Those are some scary mofos.
I’m really sorry to hear that. Isolation is a great tool for an abuser.
She knew he was mad and got 3 other people killed in the process. You’d be surprised at these women who know their men are abusive and stay with them. Many think that by staying with them they will change. Women have to stop thinking they can change a man to what they want.
I’m sorry to hear that. I guess it depends on which state you’re in. The law in Ohio is different. You don’t have to prove that they are a physically threat. Emotional distress is enough.
Oooo abusers do that to let their presence be known and also to force the person off the phone trying to alienate the victim.
Whoops I didn’t have to wait long before you decided your little talking points meant more than my knowledge of knowing EVERY party involved and the “REAL” of what happened. With that being said “Marsha Fudge” is NOT a part of the system, she’s now walking back her praise for Lance. That my dear is cronyism. I gave you one example, please find the others on your own and learn something. I’m done teaching and with you! See ya.
Blessings to you; thanks for sharing
So your choice is everybody else’s fault?
I’m referring to the woman that was killed in Cleveland. But I do agree that you can’t make an abusive man stop.
I thought she mentioned it to show that they did more than the man who stood there watching.
Still she made her choices.
God bless mamas! They know! They Know!
So glad that you’re still here with us and that demon was able to vamoose and move on.
That’s what I got from it too
Yes honey I had to get an attorney to represent me just to get a damn restraining order!!! He told me ma’am you need solid proof I’m not talking about no text msgs here and there what threats has he made that you have documented do you have pictures of any marks or bruises unfortunately and fortunately I did that’s what got me the order. Each star city and county have different laws and standards. It’s a shame.
Huh? Okay you got it girl. ?
Coward ass fiance smhhh prayers up to the victims families
Daym what is in the MoFo WATER? This is sooo SAD.
It’s a chance to take. Especially if the attacker is arrested that might give the victim a window of opportunity to escape
What does your comment “all over a ring” mean?
Huh I didn’t know he was crazy until a month after dealing with him at that point I started cutting ties it took me 5 months to go through it the legal way. When you met someone and trying to get to know them you don’t know they are crazy until they show you. My point is everybody ain’t staying but it costs a lot to get rid of a person due to laws. So it’s not as easy as you saying they can just leave a woman can leave and have no protection legally which will in some cases end badly like it did for this lady
Awwwww I’m sorry to hear that…may she be protected by God’s hands
Save the world by being a doctor?
You made a poor choice. That’s it. Many of you women jump in the bed with these men too soon. Thinking they “care about you,” It’s very immature.
That is crazy!
That was honestly the first time I witnessed something like that in public. It was like 6:30pm/7pm in the evening during the holidays so the store was pretty busy. And to top it off, I’m pretty sure worked at the store. As one of their little customer service managers.
Ignore that troll. Glad you’re ok.
She was probably taking care of him… got TIED of his crap and let him go! Him being trifling, did not want to lose “the good” free lifestyle, made up in his mind that if he couldn’t free load off of her… NO ONE ELSE will, so he killed her! So Sad… My prayer to the family and friends of the deceased.
?????????? I had a similar experience only knew the guy for a month as well!! But I think I’ll take your mother’s advice here I pray a lot but preventative prayer is what’s need pray before something happens! Thanks for sharing
It aint the water. It’s these worthless triflin men unable to accept that they are unwanted and no longer have the control they once thought they had. I won’t speak as any authority, but the shooter couldn’t cut it in the firefighters academy. And this woman was a PHYSICIAN. A firefighter drop out and a whole mf in doctor. His b i t ch a s s knew he hit the jackpot in life and when she realized she was getting the short end of the stick the relationship crumbled. I hope he burns in hell
This is my same exact thought!!! So sad…
That makes me so damn mad.
Darn, and I thought the same thing before reading this post.
Terrible! What state??
*sigh*
No save the world by dating someone who has less than you do.
Obviously he didn’t bring anything of value to the relationship.
AFter last comment I realized that was a troll. At first I thought it was someone that missed the point but nope
Just a troll ?? I don’t understand how ppl can be so miserable ?????
I know it must have felt real good to be able to tell his broke a$$ friends coworkers and family, that his fiancé was a doctor, and it must have really hit him hard when she broke things off and he realized he wasn’t going to get a shot like this again. He was just a fragile low life that had no business with this woman from the start. Do not date down just stay single!
You worked hard to make something out of your life for a reason and deserve better. Don’t listen to these men telling us to date someone below the poverty line, and just “dust him off,” you’ve got a lot more to lose than he does. What bothers me is that it’s only black women being told to take in these dusties!
Yes he was a dusty.
I have a cousin who helped his gf financially through college and she later got 2 degrees and a great job in her career field. They were not on the same level intellectually from jump and our family believed she used him. No one could tell him anything about this girl. Long story short, she left him and he went smooth out his mind…even started stalking her and everyone feared he was gonna kill her. Luckily he was able to get help and later found someone else. I hope it wasn’t the same scenario with this doctor lady. Cases like my cousin’s happen more often than we think and is one of the main causes of domestic violence. RIP Dr. Tamara and the others who were murdered….smh
Why are you waiting a few months to start??
TransUgly is the queen ?of misery.
it’s a figure of speaking. i agree. thank you.
Lmao I think he means the young woman was dealing with a guy who was not equally yoked, because she was a good Christian woman who thought she could elevate a man who was her lesser in every way …
? at “a dusty”
Sad…did he do all that without marrying her?
??????Preach!!!! And I side eye the men that carry on about wanting a woman to hold him down until he come up!! Oooo I can’t stand that shiiit it really burns my biscuits! ?
Women should NOT date BELOW them.
I think it’s cultural. Especially for black women. We’re given certain adjectives describing the type of man to go for (hyper masculinity), and they sometimes end up with an abusive @$$hole that wants to actually prove their masculinity
“Cases like my cousin’s happen more often than we think and is one of the main causes of domestic violence.”
With all due respect, what’s your source for this statement? Or is it just speculation based on your own anecdotal evidence?
Amen! Theres an entire subculture om Facebook that i believe does nothing but sit around and make memes trying to convince [black] women that having a broke and broken man is some sort of prize. Ole “real women dont care if you broke” face asses
Wtf?! Mfers are actually doing this sh*t in broad daylight and in public?! They must not fear any consequences.
Many of them like thugs and swagger. To them that’s a real man and this goes for so-called educated women too.
YES !!
Chile love gone wrong, jealousy, and greed are at the top of the list for murders….and this sounded like all 3 ?
This is so sad, and she’s just one of many! I don’t know how this can end! People are so angry, and men are so fragile. She was highly spoken so, what a loss!
Most or many women have been involved with crazy (I have), we just were able to escape in one peace!
Ladies believe what you see the first time, they really do tell you who they are!
Don’t show a man your world, too soon because often, they can’t imagine or live without what they didn’t, ultimately feel worthy of (you)!
You could call the cops. Run and get help from a security guard, another male in vicinity. Anything! Who cares if she ends up with dude in a week? The priority is to save her life in that moment. None of us are mind readers. For all you know, that incident could be the last incident. Smdh.
yea, I agree with you. Just sounded like the OP was blaming the crime victim.
???????? I don’t want to believe this is true.
Exactly.
Someone with a Masters Degree is dating below the poverty line? I hate him for doing this but he wasnt a scrub seems like.
Yesss I agree!!
I know someone who isn’t exactly a dusty, but he is white trash. He said he wants to leave his wife and be single, but he makes less money than his doctor wife (a hell of a lot less), and also loves telling people what she does for a living because of the way it makes him feel. He said he wanted a divorce but can’t leave because of the money, but I think it has a hell of a lot more to do with the prestige of telling folks that a doctor chose his white trash a$$. I believe this man who just murdered this poor woman, didn’t want to let go of the EGO BOOST of being with a doctor, lost his mind, and killed her.
Sorry to hear…praying for you and her!
That’s an excellent point. We don’t want to encourage that sort of conversation (she’ll go back). These women need help and counseling.
You didnt have to do this Juan. Rot in hayle. RIP to the lady. Didnt deserve this.
O, I’m getting major body work done in February so I’m not stepping into the dating scene until I am SNATCHED…….lol
Juan lopez? Did she change her mind about marrying him? Did he have his green card already orrrr?
It’s not that simple. There are so many complexities that go much further than just needing some d.
Smh that is crazy as hell.
Hun, I’m in my early 40’s with 2 almost grown teenagers……..As far as dating I’m NOT new to this I’m TRUE to this….thanks for the words but I know exactly what I’m doing and Y……..Take care………..
Your words cut like a knife, I thought similarly!
I was waiting to hear ex-convict, prison ministry crusade, her Lyft driver, etc.
But, also…this madness crosses all socioeconomic levels, but desperate people or those who have nothing to lose scare me, and I don’t want them around!
Where was that listed? I read he worked at the housing authority but nothing listed about his education besides, I need to know what and where he got his degree because I hate to say it but I know some folks that have degrees not worth the paper they were printed on.
Ok ok
Needing some “d” is one of the main problems for women who get attached afterwards. It is quite simple if women smarten up and start making better choices, and stop being afraid to be on their own. Much of it is from emotional immaturity. Many times women think they can change a man into what they want and overlook important signs telling them to stay away.
I can’t stand it either. I’m not holding down sh*t. Nobody held me down, I made it just fine on my own. I didn’t even ask.
Well said. Straight to the point.
That idiot has nothing but negative things to say about Black women. I acknowledged her accomplishment because I know what he was trying to do.
Thank you
b i t c h a s s n e s s is a disease.
Lol I know
you sound dumb as f#ck, at no point did she say she slept with the crazy guy and u honestly think that sehx is the foundation of abuse? Get educated to the fact my ni99a and hope and pray none of your loved ones have to endure abuse at any level.
I was so sad about this tragedy! We really must be careful who we date and trust. Now we know why she called off the engagement…he was a damn fool! Just sorry she didn’t get away alive!
Still waiting to see HIS face! They have shown all the victims faces. Thanksgiving is THURSDAY…praying for all the affected families
Just because you are in your early 40s with two grown children doesn’t mean you are emotionally mature. You wrote you’re about to re-enter the “dating game.” Dating is not a game.
Ok!!
How can you minimize her experience to a “choice”? Did you even read the hoopla that authorities put her through when she REALIZED a man she was dealing with was going to cause physical harm?
Are you naive enough to believe that abusers walk around with a sign on their neck asking to beat, r@p3, maim, & k!ll you? These men appear like normal everyday citizens. Should everyone avoid basic human interaction for fear that one of those humans will try to harm them? You can’t be this naive and gullible. And honestly, this really isn’t the thread to play the contrarian or indifference. Have some empathy, my goodness.
Crazy… I couldn’t do it. When I get up and go to work my man needs to be doing the same.
Chile BYE…….
With all due respect, I was just sharing to give a different perspective on how messed up relationships can get. I’ve heard of a couple other situations like this and that’s my source so no…wasn’t speculating.
Yeah…sounds like cuz was a sucka and fell for the okie doke. Glad he got help though…and hopefully won’t repeat that same behavior in the future
that man is a disgusting narcissist.
So I see she was 38 and he was 32. It just seems like a lot of the times when I see killings like this, the woman is dating some dude who is younger and relatively immature.
I’m starting to have this theory now that maybe women need to reconsider dating dudes 5 or more years younger than them, since there can be a huge mental gap between them… and sometimes that doesn’t really reveal itself till the relationship goes bad.
Toodles
That was part of the long story. He claimed she kept putting it off.
She still made her choice and she paid the consequences for it. I have no sympathy for this person. Women want to change men and ignore the signs telling them to stay away.
And no one else had to hear this mess but us, and it also makes men feel like something is wrong with women who want established men. I had a friend call me a gold digger once, I’m like why? Because I date men with careers? I take care of myself but I’m supposed to want a man who doesn’t?
At no time did she say she didn’t sleep with him either. But that’s besides the point She made a bad choice and should be smarter next time. If she can’t see where SHE went wrong, she will do the same thing again. Be smarter
I teach that to my daughter and she hasn’t even began to date yet……But I tell her NOW…….A man must be able to (at least) match my finances just to start off……..I’m not nor do I assist in “charity cases” = broke men……..I make sure my daughter knows about every dime my man spends on me/us just so she sees exactly what she is worth and don’t except anything less…..I DONT…..
So didnt finish yet. But read somewhere else he was set to be a Dec.2018 grad.
https://heavy.com/news/2018/11/juan-lopez/
“Juan Lopez graduated from DePaul University and worked at the Chicago Housing Authority, according to his Facebook page. On his Linkedin profile, Lopez said he worked as a housing program specialist at the housing authority. He started working there in February 2018. Officials with the Chicago Housing Authority did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Heavy.
Lopez was also completing his master’s degree in public service, land use and management/development at DePaul. He graduated from the Chicago university with a degree in public administration in 2013.”
Duh, I know what he meant, so save your sighs. Where in the write up is it obvious that the ex had less and didn’t bring anything of value to the relationship?
Red flag… Both sexes ignore them
I just don’t know why that’s acceptable. Why can’t folks promote self sufficiency and then coming together to combine resources, instead of milking someone else who has quadruple what you have, because they worked hard and sacrificed. I’ve never stopped working to improve myself as a woman never will. I can’t just let any damn body have access to my life.
Dont show a man our world too soon as if it is her fault. Had he married her n murdered her that would have made it better. It dont matter. Her lifestyle was not the cause of her death n marriage is not the answer if she wanted 2 live.They sentenced the man who murdered his pregnant wife n put in kids in an oil well. What advice would u have given her 2 save her n her kids lives.
This does not take away from his overall dustiness, but good on him for staying the course in school! Still turned out to be a worthless POS.
Be careful of who we marry.
He could have been older n did the same thing. I know a lot of immature men u tneir 50s.
I personally believe it starts with men growing up in fatherless homes and seeing their mothers carry the burden of everything. They become habituated to the idea that it is normal for a woman to take care of you
VERY true. And very pathetic ?
Very sad. You here about these cases way to much. Rest in peace to all the victims.
Not trying to be insensitive at all but I swear Migos Fight Night popped in my head. ? broke nuccas stand to left, my rich nucca stand to the right…..??
Yes, I do understand that. I’m just saying if he’s significantly younger, there might be some maturity issues where he cant handle rejection, a breakup, etc, and he ends up acting out violently as a result of that. I just think it’s something to keep an eye on sometimes.
(Still singing ?Migos Fight Night from my post up top) ?Rich nucca, I could never be a broke nucca. Broke nucca, I could never get along with em? ?
Clearly she was right to keep putting it off. Something about him was probably “off” all this time.
Now I see why some employers want go through people’s social media before hiring them. People bring a lot of baggage with them like this woman did and 4 people were killed because of it. Employers have to be careful who they let into their establishments.
He was working on his Masters degree. With her being a doctor, I guess we’d say he wasn’t on her level, but he was no slouch either.
are you suggesting this was her fault?
If the person is planning to kill themselves, like he did, they don’t care about any consequences.
Yes she knew the man was abusive and continued in a relationship with him. I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s acted crazy on her. If her job knew about her abusive relationship they probably wouldn’t have hired her. I know I wouldn’t have. You are responsible for your choices not the authorities.
I’m thinking she is stating it’s her fault, which is puzzling me, because no one asked to be killed.
Horrible statement.
Omg Coy!! I am terribly sorry!!! I can’t imagine how that must hurt you. ?? hugs love.
You must be the killers sister..smh.
No but you have to stop making everybody out to be a victim. Many times these women see the signs and ignore them because they want to change the man. The only people I feel that they may not be responsible are children who are unable to make many choices for themselves up to a certain age and people who are disabled. A grown woman who stays in a relationship with an abusive man is not a victim.
Men rejection has more 2 do with ego than his azz. It aint over until they say it is over. Tired of folks blaming the woman for a man’s actions.
It’s not about asking to be killed. She remained in an abusive relationship which never ends well. She is a grown woman and should have understood the consequences. This isn’t personal against the woman. It’s a common sense suggestion.
You are wrong af for what you said.
Where am I wrong?
You can see his face here if you want to
https://heavy.com/news/2018/11/juan-lopez/
Thank you
It’s definitely not personal but it seems you knew both people well enough to make such a statement.
Abuse is 4-way-ramp and you never know where you’re going to end up when you’re mentally tied to the routine of abuse. Grown, they both were but in hands he decided her life was his to take regardless of her and the heart beating inside of her. She decided to leave when she knew it was over between them. “never ends well” implies that all victims of abuse meet fatality.
No matter what it took despite multiple trips back to a bad relationship, i can count about 9 women who have all left an abusive relationship and we’re NOT fatally killed.
But people make choices. You make choices. You have to understand that. Be smarter about your choices. People don’t grow up and mature it’s all about being a victim. The only people I feel sorry for are children and disabled people for various reason. There are many women who don’t take no shish. It’s about choices and being self aware. Women want to try and change a man and look over the signs telling them to stay away.
So this woman told you she was abused?
You knew her?
Stop asking stupid questions. Either you have common sense and insight or you can remain a fool. Don’t bother me with stupidity.
How could you POSSIBLY know the details of what went on in their relationship?? She clearly left him if she’s the EX fiance. to place the blame on this woman for her own death is sick. There is no reason in hell anyone has a right to take the life of another. regardless of whether she chose him or not. everybody don’t show signs of being crazy right off. maybe she left when she did see the signs.
Calm down.
Not that deep to call names but my common sense tells me you’re a fool who can’t handle questions. You made the statement. Back that Sh7t up with facts SHIM.
Did I say he had the right to take her life? I wrote she made a poor choice and paid the consequences for it. There’s always a sign. Women look over them because they want to try and change the man. There’s always a sign. Women need to be more intelligent and not all giddy and emotional because a man is paying them attention. Think Think Think
Again, how long have you known these two people? are you a family member? you seem to know an awful lot about what went on in the relationship.
Exactly.
This person writing this statement is clearly not the brightest crayon in the box and a mind reader too.
men of all ages kill their (ex) girlfriends. has nothing to do with age. more about mental illness
I cant stand a dusty nicca…We got plenty of them in Philly…its like walking through a dust storm everyday…
Wow. good for you mama. thanks for sharing!
I’ve been answering on this thread I can handle questions. You asked “So this woman told you she was abused? You knew her?”
So I can ask you the same thing. “Did this woman tell you she was wasn’t being abused? You knew her?” See how that works. This wasn’t the first time this man was abusive. Many times these women stay because a considerable number of women felt their abusive male partners still possessed some good qualities: More than half (54%) saw their partners as highly dependable, while one in five (21%) felt the men in their lives possessed significant positive traits (i.e., being affectionate).
Often when an abusive situation happens, it is followed by the abuser doing something nice or apologizing and promising that they will never do it again. This makes their partner minimize the original abusive behavior. This woman made her choices and she and 3 other people were killed because of it. If a man is abusive to you get out no questions asked. There’s always a choice. Always
… that’s why I blocked he/she/it a long time ago. Some people in here just give off negative vibes constantly.
The man killed her and 3 other people. If you think this is the first time he went-off on her then you’re living in a bubble. It’s always the story “he was abusive blah blah blah. People in abusive relationships many times have low self esteem and don’t value themselves. I don’t care how many degrees they have. It’s like Rihanna with Chris Brown. She went back to him after he abused her. It’s not unusual.
Your mother taught you well my love….. bless her and bless you https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cda4925ca1d357264787be9b5ccd589f4b0940cb9442847e1840c0a193a331e3.gif
Done! Shim needs to get a life and some sense.
Agreed.
Your mom is a gem! She was and still is very right!
I am so happy you survived that ordeal!
These men think women won’t roll up with the hammer!
Show them they ain’t doing nothing but talking!
I just want to hug you, thank you for sharing your story.
https://media.giphy.com/media/qLEDGdMoyTT9e/giphy.gif
So now it’s her fault that he committed a mass murder? Damn. That’s cold. RIP sis
AND HOW IN TF is it her FAULT DO-DO? SHE BROKE IT OFF WITH HIM MONTHS AGO..you fool…that’s not her fault, its HIS AND HIS MAMMY’s
LOL
STFU…you’re making a poor choice now by talking dumb. SHE LEFT HIM…obviously she saw all the signs your blind azz is choosing to ignore…log off and go read a book….
I want to block her azz now…if she say one more dumb thing…see because what I’m not going to do is trying to insert logic where clearly she is illogical and irrational.
SHE DID NOT REMAIN…OK ..Lets all block her 5…4…3…2..1..
TEA: a FORMER GIRLFRIEND FILED FOR A ORDER OF PROTECTION IN 2014.
HOWEVER, the gunman still had a conceal and carry license. The bigger
picture here is stricter gun laws and gun control. don’t let the trolls
distract you with their hair brain conspiracies.
Yeah, I started dating at 15 and she went into the whole use a condom, take the pill, don’t let anyone hit you, and so on, but she stressed that the most important thing is to have God look over the person for you because you never know how things will look 5 or 10 years down the road. It stuck with me after that looney tune entered my life. Pray and ask God if it’s right BEFORE the first date.
He was a city worker too. CHA. He wasn’t a doctor but he obviously wasnt a bum either.
Please log off….
Who said he was broke? He was a city worker. what story are yall reading?
But let’s not get distracted by age, money or any of that shat. He had an order of protection placed on him by a former GF and still had a conceal and carry license. THIS IS ABOUT GUN CONTROL
Folks make up stuff here in their mind to support their POV. It’s rampant here now. Hardly anyone is factual.
I can accept the gun control argument, at the same time what can really be done about it, realistically. Whenever this comes up, I don’t ever hear a realistic solution because “abolishing the 2nd amendment” like some want to do, is ridiculous. I also have no idea where to start.
Okay yes he was employed and had an education but was it comparable to her lifestyle? If so fine, I can leave that part alone, but generally speaking, I have heard many many times, that single women who have their stuff together, should make allowances for men who don’t, which has always bothered me.
tomatoes, tomatoes…NONE OF THAT MEANS A CAN OF BEANS…this had nothing to do with status…a former GF filed for an order of protection back in 2014 AND he still had a conceal and carry license. This conversation should be about stricter gun laws not how much money he made.
at the same time what can really be done about it,…..that’s the whole point sweetie…if you make gun laws stricter (and I’m sure you know how that works) more periodical back ground checks, if someone files a freaking order of protection, you gun should be revoked immediately, I could go on and on. AND if you haven’t heard a realistic solution and or antidotes then you need to jump off SR and check in with your local gun law to find out more information. Start here > https://www.gunstocarry.com/gun-laws-state/
He was her fiance. She was with him for a while. Stop making up excuses for people making poor choices. Then you are an example of the black folks way of thinking. There’s never any blame. So glad so many of us have left you niccas on the plantation. Child Bye
When dating we should all look for the bad vibes and when you see them ghost that person. You don’t owe them any explanation. Your instincts are more reliable than calling the police or get a PFA after the fact.
This is not a matter of maturity. It’s a matter of MENTAL STABILITY.
And if you’re paying close attention, you will know whether you’re dealing with someone with a full deck or not. Again, that’s if you’re paying attention. The problem is people don’t pay attention and let loneliness, low self-esteem/self-worth take over.
Had it already. May have been born here legally. But had a legal weapons license
He/she/it is such a f00l. Who wants to get sh0t in a parking lot?
His mind is the color Black.
almost daily and especially when the post can be divisive.
He was her ex fiance not a stranger. She was with him for a while. I could imagine how many times they were back-and-forth. She knew he was abusive and paid the price for it.
“Just one day before Dr. Tamara O’Neal and two others at Chicago’s Mercy Hospital were shot and killed by her ex-fiancé, the former couple and her family were in church together, her father told CNN. Tammy, as her relatives knew her, attended church services Sunday with Lopez and her family in Indiana, where she was from, Tom O’Neal said.”
“Witnesses saw Lopez demanding Dr O’Neal give back the ring he gave her, WGNTV reports, before shooting her three times when she told him she didn’t have it.”
Why didn’t she give this fool the ring back? She arguing with him about a ring? And now 4 people are dead.
If you continuously invite someone into your home and you know they steal from you.,whose fault is it for allowing this person to keep stealing from you?. It’s your fault. You don’t have to let them in your door. Be smarter
I said she made a bad choice in a mate and paid the consequences for it. Interpret it as you will.
I want no one to profess to love me like that it isn’t love. Bless those families, anytime hurts but the holidays are thee worst…
This is why I hesitated to respond to you. I remember you being real condescending and rude the last time I responded to a post of yours. Some folks on here can chat peacefully, some have to feel superior in some way and get snarky and snide.
I apologize that wasn’t my intent.
I couldn’t believe the comment!
This person has so many negative opinions about everything except Trump.
We don’t know enough about Dr. Tamara O’Neal…
So sorry that she and the others were murdered by a ruthless KILLER!
Dr. Tamara O’Neal did not deserve to be murdered!
You really shouldn’t speak on it because you have no idea what she did or didn’t know about this man. You could be making a bad decision in your mate or who you are dating but you wouldn’t know either until he is standing over you pulling the trigger. Stop judging the victim.
Omg, I was not expecting that. No harm no foul, happy thanksgiving.
Worth the read. I’m taking your mom’s advice!
NO, it wasn’t her lifestyle or her fault, but I was speaking of how women can show a man, just how much they care, and find out, dude is not the one!
Crazy is crazy no matter what your station in life is, who you know or how you travel! I was speaking of the backlash of being with an individual who is unworthy because they can’t receive ALL that you have to give them!
Take your time, hold back, believe the red flags (not the potential) because they’re almost, always there, IMO and as many women have professed!
Women are dealing with this from any background, people I know or have known!
Exactly! You don’t always see the signs befkre something happens or someone snaps.
You’re tactless. This is not Dr. O’Neal’s fault, nor is it appropriate to speak about since she can’t explain her side.
Someone should be seeing “a sign” in you right now based on how easy it is for you to blame a victim for her murder and the deaths of others.
Can’t speak on common sense when you lack it.
Omg not a dust storm ???
Good for you. You took the right road. There’s always a warning sign but many times women and it can also be men choose to ignore it.
exactly!!!!! blew my mind at the audacity that commenter had to say those things.
There are 3 posters that are very mean-spirited about ALL except Trump!
No empathy… lots of name calling… I think they are the same person!
Thank you for this!!!
well she did call the wedding off
Yep it is a lot easier when your mate has a similar upbringing, decision making processes, beliefs, finances, education, and degree of attractiveness. MONEY may work as an equalizer for awhile but even that is not a permanent fix. Like the bible say you must be equally yoked.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what [a]fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what [b]communion has light with darkness?
I have to agree with you. I know a few women who do this. They KNOW the man is NOT right for them from the very beginning. They will tell you about all the red flags and still go out with him, still talk to him. When he shows that first sign of “crazy” they think it’s cute and then when he does something else they BRIEFLY stop talking to him, thinking they are “teaching him a lesson” and “oh, he’s not gonna treat me like that” and as soon as he calls saying, “baby, I’m sorry”, “I didn’t mean it”, “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me”, etc then they are right back with him and the cycle keeps going until he flips ALL THE OUT and unfortunately things like this happen. I’m not saying this is the case with this young lady but I’ve seen it happen a few times. My condolences to this lady’s family and friends.
You’ll can be mad at her comments all you want but she is speaking FACTS! It may not have been the case with this doctor and it’s not every abused woman’s case but what she said is REAL.
I love Sade.
Very true but whats stranger is that even in a two parent home, the father can be neglectful and still leave the burden on the woman. It’s not just a fact of being in a two parent home, both parents have to be active role models.
I agree that she called off the marriage, but why did she still have the ring?? That ring probably cost a lot of money. Do you think he deserved to have it back?
Woah! So she engaged a man that once had an order of protection? She dropped the ball.
You’re definitely right. Just having the father there as a place holder isn’t enough
I can’t stand that this beautiful sista who dedicated her life to saving the lives of others was senselessly murdered. Hurts my heart.
Accomplished women who can not secured an emotionally mature/stable man.
You made your point.
A masters don’t mean nothing these days. That was his meal ticket. She was earning a guaranteed 6 figures.
Just because he has a masters doesn’t mean he’s banking or not a scrub. Plus the housing specialist at CHA don’t earn that much….from what I heard….
Why do you think she broke off the relationship? The article said he was her ex. Now your stance is cold. Really cold!
But even if someone leaves right away, sometimes people become so fixated on someone that no matter what they try to do to avoid them, they still always manage to stalk them.