Blogger Ed Dunn, owner of Dreamandhustle.com, responded to comments received on this post where I noted Julia Hudson’s affinity for the low life thug mentality:
- My deepest condolence and prayers goes out to the Jennifer/Julia Hudson family and others involved because not many of us can truly understand the pain they are going through right now. To lose a mother and brother so violently, so quickly and not knowing where a young member of your family is devastating and emotionally irreversible. No one can recover from something like that, at best, we can cope with it but we need to count our blessings while we here because no one is guaranteed tomorrow.
Over at SandraRose.com, the following comment was made on the blog entry:
According to Illinois Dept. of Corrections, William Balfour, 27, was out on probation after serving 7 years in prison for attempted murder and car jacking. Jennifer’s sister Julia, who is a Chicago bus driver, saw the perfect thug in William with whom she had 7-year-old Julian.
And a few comments reacted to that statement:
The Divine Ms. K Says:
“Horribly sad and prayers out to the family, but why the comment on how Jennifer’s sister saw the ‘perfect thug’ in the brother-in-law? Was that necessary to say?”
dave Says:
“…The perfect thug in Williams, was that really called for?”
To those comments and anyone else who think SandraRose.com comments were unnecessary and uncalled for, I’ll be happy to answer that question – you damn right it was necessary and called for to point that out. There is a glorification in the Black community by Black women to date these thug scumbags and try to dismiss good brothas out there. Then when ish goes predictably bad, cats don’t want to talk about it. I’m tired of that kind of nonsense in the Black community – that’s why our communities are so f*cked up because people want to walk around pretending ish, playing with fire and act shocked when things go predictably wrong.
- According to the stuff I’m hearing – William Balfour went to jail for attempted murder and carjacking at the same time Julia Hudson was knocked up with a baby. So some reason or another, later in life, Julia Hudson chose that marginalized brotha even after he proven himself to have no respect for life and other people property. Why she made that move, that is the most important topic we need a discussion about. Most of these sistas have low self-esteem thinking these knuckleheads are all the Black men available and other sistas think it cute to have a “thug boyfriend” as if brothas like me would be intimidated if I decide to holler at her and her fine ass. And from what I’m gathering from Julia Hudson MySpace posting featured in TMZ.com, it appears she think she can “toy” around with a thug, calling him “bitch ass” thinking he won’t explode. See, we can’t ignore the underlying obvious issue that may be the biggest contributing factor to this tragedy that occurred to the Hudson family.
SandraRose.com had to go there because I hope every Black woman who hear this horrible news and know they in the same situation as Julia Hudson are personally shocked enough to decide these thugs ain’t worth it. Mainstream media don’t address these kind of issues that affect Black women and I appreciate bloggers like SandraRose.com that mention real hood topics the greater Black community are too chicken sh*t to address themselves. If a sista decide she going to leave her thug boyfriend because SandraRose.com made that comment, SandraRose.com done more than the NAACP, National Action Network, Operation Push, Essence Magazine and Nation of Islam combined because yall can’t show me any effort of them explicitly addressing this hug-a-thug issue that eroding the Black community. I really hope this hug-a-thug syndrome actually get addressed by the Black community because it is long overdue and it destroyed too many Black families to continue to ignore.
By the way, I hope that Lauren London chick really think long and hard about that stupid ish she said up in King Magazine about her preference for dating thugs. (Source)
I cant and I will NOT go there today
Is that a picture of Balfour?
imo a thug is an image–not a character trait. if women would look past the image and examine the traits of the person they are dealing with this would be a non issue.
for example like rick ross. he portrays himself to be a thug..when in reality he is not. it is an image–not who you are as a person.
and stop slapping yourself five auntie for someone giving you props…now is not the time. and that was messed up too for this dude to be calling out members of your community. again..in my opinion.
Well a college friend of mine was murdered by her lawyer husband about 4 years ago so I guess thugs can wear business suits too right?
The person who wrote this sounds like he has been rejected by women a lot. Its none of anyones business why people choose who they like/love.
Same way ppl choose to sleep with same the same sex. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to. & it has nothing to do with being black! Women of all races love thugs. The same way we also love doctors, lawyers, educated brothers.. Ect.
Ed said Sandra said, somebody said:
Julia, who is a Chicago bus driver, saw the perfect thug in William with whom she had 7-year-old Julian.
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Uhm I’ve been under the impression that Julian WAS NOT Balfour’s child. Did I miss something?
i Co Sign 94% of what sandra said and shes right she had fell in love with her perfect thug, the perfect gangster, i mean seriously why would you even entertain a known felon who has been in prison
HELLO BLACK WOMEN this is why most new AIDS cases are black women, they sleep with these thugs who were having all types of sex in prison with all types of men…………..
@ prynsexx
I think I missed something also. I read that Balfour was not Julian’s father and that Julia was a school bus driver, not a city bus driver.
Still, the entire family is in my prayers.
we all love this site. i hate it when folks say something it. whether it be something mean about sandra or her community. i don’t know why that makes me so mad. but it does.
sandra provides us this forum and for other folks to say anything about our opinion or what we post..it just ticks me off.
i remember how i felt when i first saw all of the hate sandrarose websites. it made so so mad.
i felt the same way when i see this dude used some of the members as examples.
Dang Charles, I agree with you!
Excellent post, Ed Dunn!
@ 6 & 8 – that was posted before it came out that Julian was not William’s son.
IMO, I think Ed made a few of good points.
Someone other Charles cosigned on a Sandra statement!!! I’m playing mega millions tonight.
The only thing I will say that I agree with is that
people ignore obvious signals of dysfuntion in their potential mates… I don’t know why a grown woman would want someone like the one William Balfour is portrayed as so far in the media.
Why today yall can we do a post about how insensative bloggers are now a days….First of all half this “thugs” are pussy as niccas any how…a thug is a what I mean do I want a guy that can protect me yeah but does that mean im on a mission like yeah I want a drug dealing so and so the only thing i ask is when we talk this ish about the black community we do mention how our childred are neglected in the school systems which leads to alot of this mess. I dont have a problem having this discussion i just think its in poor taste to have it today….
As usual I’m co-signing with Charles…
However, I don’t necessarily think it was Balfour’s “thug appeal” that made Julia fall in love…I honestly think any man who paid her attention would make her fall in love.
I’m not trying to be mean or rude but, this seems more like a classic case of low self-esteem more than anything. This man gave her some much-needed attention and she fell for him…
It didn’t matter that he was a convicted criminal, he acknowledged her and called her his wife…therefore, she went for his bull nevermind the fact he is a proven loser and leech.
I actually agree with sandra. I just didn’t want to go there TODAY. But sandra is always on point on stuff like this. And this guy is on point too. Sandra brings the truth on stuff like this.
Agree with magnificent. Thats always seem to be the case.
auntie post us a feel good story. i think everyone’s emotions are high at this point. we are all just lashing out.
at you, at ed dunn, at each other. well i am still mad at ed dunn…
but for real we need something to make us feel good (in my halle berry monster ball voice)
It saddens me the things being focused on when this woman just lost 3 very close family members.
Why is Julia being so heavily criticized? I’ve read about low self esteem, dating a thug, getting her hair done, going to work but not going, her myspace page. She may not be a celeb but SHE JUST LOST HER F’ING SON! Goodness gracious. Is loving a thug really that important to start a thread? All these holier than thou people; I didn’t know Jesus made a return.
I completely agree w/ kwallace577. Being a thug has nothing to do with it; it’s the ‘personality/mind set’ of a person that makes them dangerous. So many white collar men have committed horrible murders too.
I don’t think anyone disagrees with Sandra I just wish we could have this convo on a different date and state all facts that lead to issues with in the black community dint be fooled into thinking that this isnt part of a bigger picture thats all im saying
Mz_Magnificent1 Says:
As usual I’m co-signing with Charles…
However, I don’t necessarily think it was Balfour’s “thug appeal” that made Julia fall in love…I honestly think any man who paid her attention would make her fall in love.
I’m not trying to be mean or rude but, this seems more like a classic case of low self-esteem more than anything. This man gave her some much-needed attention and she fell for him…
It didn’t matter that he was a convicted criminal, he acknowledged her and called her his wife…therefore, she went for his bull nevermind the fact he is a proven loser and leech.
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You are right!!!!!!!!
iscream GIRL you are on point I would love to see the men these chicks lay up with or have in the past i mean havent we all dated someone at some point that makes us shake our head in disdain I just think God he saw fit to spare me and those around me that I love when I made foolish chioces!!!
iscream Says:
It saddens me the things being focused on when this woman just lost 3 very close family members.
Why is Julia being so heavily criticized? I’ve read about low self esteem, dating a thug, getting her hair done, going to work but not going, her myspace page. She may not be a celeb but SHE JUST LOST HER F’ING SON! Goodness gracious. Is loving a thug really that important to start a thread? All these holier than thou people; I didn’t know Jesus made a return.
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@ iscream…don’t get me wrong my heart is bleeding for Julia and the Hudson family right now. I am sooo sad…any crime involving an innocent child is an act of SENSELESS violence.
No one deserves to go through what their family is dealing with…
However…this incident goes to show you life is NOT a game. You can’t go around hanging around sinister people and not expect to be pulled into the evil that surrounds them…anything that is not of God is by no means good.
I’m not her to judge her or anyone else for that matter but, an innocent child was just tortured and murdered for NOTHING…all because, his mama do not take heed to some man, not to mention J.Hud’s mother and brother as well.
The saying…”one mistake can lead to a lifetime of pain” was not just created for no reason at all. This is something she has to live with forever, and that man has zero remorse for Julia or her family.
Even if he gets away with this crime he cannot escape Judgement Day…
sexyma078 Says:
i mean havent we all dated someone at some point that makes us shake our head in disdain ********************************************************
Girl, I know I have!
*I’m not HERE to judge her…sorry for any typos.
Again, this is not jump on Julia day… BUT…
I do think self esteem had something to do with it. A news article i read late Saturday said that they’ve been married for several years.
So they got married while he was in prison – right? How many of us have heard about women marrying all kind of kooks in jail because the guy has the gift of gab and talk a good game and the woman is desperate.
Umm, ok, since my comment was one of the ones thrown out there…
…I stand by what I said – love it or leave it. At the time when all of this was breaking, no, I didn’t feel it necessary to throw in a comment about how the mother saw the perfect thug in her estranged/ex/whatever husband. A child was missing and no one knew whether he was dead or alive.
As some have stated, that could have been brought up in a later thread. At the time, I felt it was a jab made at an inappropriate time and I’m not changing/regretting/apologizing for what I said. Since I’m a member of this community, I stated my opinion like everyone else.
So, someone from another blog trying to use my comment to draw attention to something or try and call me out…does not sit well with me at all, but ok. Do what you do.
I think we should wait till a complete investigation is complete before jumping on this “Thug”. We don’t know for sure if he had anything to do with this, yet we’re quick to judge. Lets let it play out. It could be a kidnapping/house invasion gone bad. This is Chicago (Southside to be exact).
Mz_Magnificent1 you may not be intending to judge but you certainly sound very judgmental all the things that are being said are going through this womans head…had she been married to a minister, a lawyer a doctor or anyone else that took the life od her son she would still have these same questions to deal with…my biggest issue is that when she should be getting words of condolences we are judging her pick in a husband…when she should be getting prayers we are tearing her down for not showing enough emotion…like i said there are many issues in the black commnuity hell the whole USA for that matter and we as a people do need to get it together but for now lets just lift this woman up pray for her strenght thats all i ask…but hey it not my blog
Yeah, he looks like a thug, and I’m pretty sure he IS a thug — but do we know he did it yet? I mean, dude hasn’t been charged with ANYTHING related to the murders yet. And, what about her brother? RIP, but he looks thugalicious TOO. And then, look at Julia– you just can’t be that fat — with hair like that — and not be a little guilty.
It sounds to me like a kidnapping gone bad. I’m pretty sure that that Julia knows something.
@Mz_Magnificent1: you hit it on the head…
@charles: you can’t knock everyone that is a felon…some people change or in jail for crimes they didn’t commit…i know what you’re getting at though and black women (and men) be in denial way too often…this guy should’ve been on the “do not date list”…it doesn’t sound like he cleaned up his act at all…
i think some people thought it was insentivte due to the timing of when sandra posted it…my question to you is, when should this be discussed, over tea?! the police picked this guy up for a reason (whether or not they charged him)…trust me if sandra wouldn’t have mentioned this, one of us would have…REAL TALK
@-prynsexxx your right That is not his child, only by marriage, Greg King is Julians father.
As far as him(Balfour) going to jail at some point while she was pregnant I’m unsure however its reported that he was incarcerated when the baby was concieved.
Nonetheless, yea he was NOT a great choice in a husband. At all. I do agree though that there needs to be more thought into who you lay with & marry and have around your child.That is nothing but truth. Hell I dont allow all my friends platonic or otherwise around my child. You have to protect them from as much as possible not to say my friends would harm him, but who is to say they wouldnt whether from the conversation to the way they carry themselves. Not to say they are all bad but the same way you censor certain music, and tv shows from them, I censor a lil extra. Wehn we see our friends an family in these distructive relationships soemtimes all it takes is a little love an guidance to help them back on the right path, other times it does more harm than good. The yor wrong about him/her syndrome and forces them to try harder to prove the world wrong. You dont have to like it or agree but me personally I’d rather risk losing a firend or fmaily member to them being pissed for me speaking about there best interest, rather than losing them to some sensless violence.
At this point rather than knock her down, we need to lift her & the family up in prayer.
well i was the one who said over in the other post about julia having low self esteem. i ALSO said i feel so so sorry for her.
cause you know she gonna blame herself for the rest of her life…for all of the loses. she is gonna feel like her b/c of the choice she made in a mate it is her fault. which is where i beg to differ. this was not her choice. it was his to do this and for being an azz. a thug ain’t got squat to do with it.
everyone eventually meets their maker thug or not.
After reading all this.. maybe we SHOULD not jump to conclusions.. maybe he didn’t do it ( I think he did.. but..) We should all honor the innocent until proven guilty line. I would hate to stick my foot in mouth if it comes out it wasn’t him ( even though I think it was) but we can condemn him on this site and others and MAKE him guilty in the court of public opinion to where he doesn’t get a fair trial ( if it wasn’t him.. I think it was though.. he had something to do with it)
I’m just saying….
initially a kidnapping/ransom was thrown out there, however that story quickly vanished…
cosigning with Civic…
you took the words right off my hands… got yt all over me ( it’s book close) can’t formulate my thoughts correctly.
There was nothing wrong with what was said, it was the timing. And still, women need to check themselves in regards to the men they choose to keep as company. No it may not be our business who dates who, but it becomes our business when Amber alerts, and abuse charges are issued out on behalf of poor choices.
For some reason I keep seeing a scene from the Bodyguard in my head ( the hit gone wrong).
I don’t know bout this one…
u go girl!
well put sandra. well put.
Just to add to @smokie comment…
Her brother (Julia/J-Hud) was a Str8-Up THUG and I’m speaking from True Experience… I HAVE plenty in my family and It’s beyond disgusting. Trust this wasn’t the ONLY time he’s been shot or shot at
Beyond that fact THIS is still a tragedy…
And this young boy DIDN’T deserve to die like that
Hey Mz. Magnificent…. We don’t know if this guy had anything to do with this crime. & even if he did that gives no one the right to judge his mother for loving him @ one time. She just lost her son and not more than 8 hours in SOOOOO many negative comments are being said.
“New reports about the body believed to be Julian King, Jennifer Hudson’s 7-year-old nephew.
The Chicago Tribune cites law enforcement sources who say the boy was shot multiple times while in the back of the vehicle. Police are testing the clothing of the suspect in custody for gunshot residue — we believe that to be William Balfour, the estranged husband of Jennifer Hudson’s sister.”
exactly what does him being a thug have to do with WHO MURDERED THIS FAMILY, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. i think this is jumping the gun and it’s a lot of crimes where the family kills others and their not thugs their are thugs everywhere your ceo your dentist and your lawyer it doesn’t have to be a black thing and i think this is brainwashing it ain’t always the white man brainwashing.
and just cuz your in a business suit and pushing a lex and got your degree guess what he still can be just as doggish and thuggish as the next brother on the corner please stop getting it twisted.
Thank you @ toosexy. Being a thug is a mentality – not just based on someone’s appearance. I mean, if Balfour is the guilty party and he happened to be an executive or something – then what would everyone be saying?
now my question is.. who the hell is logging into his myspace page for him???
I’m wit you @toosexy
Julia, who is a Chicago bus driver, saw the perfect thug in William with whom she had 7-year-old Julian.
*****
Julian wasn’t this man’s biological son!!!!
@ The entire SR Fam
What this should each all of us is to be cautious about the company u let into your home and into your family lives. Just when u think u might know a person they can do some stuff to you that will rock your world. That includes husbands to no matter how long you’ve been married to them. I personally don’t trust people I put all of my trust in the LORD!!
You have to stay prayed up daily and pray that god protects you and your family daily.
As far as the comment that SR made I feel as though that is she felt at the time. Do I agree the timing was right? Maybe not, but I understand the point she was trying to get across. Nobody knows Julia personally to say she has low self esteem that is why she went with a “Thug”. Just pray for her strength to be able to deal with this tragedy and put yourself in her shoes. The devil is truly busy.
SMH!
Sooooooooo when all these women kill their men on Snapped are they considered thugs to? Were all the men wrong for falling in love with the perfect female thugs?
Well to address this topic, I can speak on it because I personally have made some of the same poor choices, so to the blogger who is upset with Sandra that the reality of “voicing your opinion” some of us speak and learn from experience. The turth is the truth, especially if it hurts!
It’s not just black women, it’s all women. Women have been attracted to bad boys since the begining of time. Also, how many times have we heard of white men killing there families and they don’t appear to have that thug appeal. I think it’s kind of interesting that bc it’s a black man being questioned we have to add the thug tag to him. Obviously, he had a record but alot of people who commit these kind of crimes have clean records.
@ sexyma078 and iscream…you are right, he hasn’t been charged with a thing except violating his probation.
If he did commit the crime then like I previously stated…you cannot escape Judgement Day. I just pray that justice will be served for whoever the individual maybe and J.Hud’s family can at least have closure…
As for my comments about Julia like said before, I don’t want to come across rude…nasty…or judgemental. I apologize if I offended anyone but, that is my opinion and I’m standing by it.
@dc
MAN THOSE B-I-T-C-H-E-S be str8 Offing dudes
Some of those chicks ARE SCARY For Real…
They take TIL DEATH to a WHOLE-Nother-LEVEL
@dcwife1622 you betta preach. they made a whole entire series devoted to bout it azz women.
and speaking of snapped…i watch it so much it pure scares my husband. does that make me a thug? LOL.
the one about the woman who answered the dayum door for the shooter but the boyfriend did not die and lived to tell the story. that did it for my husband. he was like that was so cold mess right there@ smh.
Well I think we all know a little bit of Julia with someone in our family.I was worried about my sister marrying that thug she with now.She wants to leave him, and I’m afraid for her.
But…we really should not be thinking about how he was “the perfect thug” Jennifer’s family is enduring 3 deaths in her family right now.We should be praying for her and wishing the best for her family.Let’s not be judgmental.
@ hermosa
I think it’s kind of interesting that bc it’s a black man being questioned we have to add the thug tag to him.
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That’s what I felt when I read the post. I read Sandra everyday and she always has something negative to say about black men (especially Obama and he’s not a damn thug). So when it comes to her, I always think she hates black men, unless they are dating Tiny or Monica. I think the guy is guilty, but to me that took away from her story. There are so many murderers of different races but I bet the women they date wont be labeled as thug lovers!!!!!!!!!!!!
@kwall!OMG I stay looking at Snapped too, I be looking through my TV Guide just to see if there is like back-to-back episodes.People think women aren’t capable then me…shooo you better watch Snapped if you think men are that bad.
Bringing it back to the original topic….
who gives a rat’s azz about what he agrees with…I DON’T EVEN READ HIS BLOG! Who made him the moral muthaphuckin’ compass of the world?
We come here to communicate with each other, express ourselves, and gain insight from other people’s point of view. NEWSFLASH: WHAT THE OWNER OF THE BLOG WRITES…IS BASED ON OPINION! So just because we don’t see eye to eye, doesn’t make me anymore wrong than it makes him right. He can say what he wants, just like “we” can!
MAYBE I’LL START MY OWN BLOG, SO WHAT I SAY CAN BE THE END ALL TO personal point of view and opinion!
TELL DUDE TO QUIT THE PULPITTIN! BLOG OWNERS ARE NOT GOD! OR EVEN GODLY…therefore, we can say what we want to!
Real talk…what is a blogger without fans and someone there to read, process and comment on what they are saying?
Just anotha’ nukka with something to say!
and for everyone on here who has an opinion and voiced it and are sticking by what they said…good for you. that is what is supposed to happen and i think that is what sandra wants to happen too.
@kwallace
I was mad at my husband one saturday and watched a snapped marathon for at least 6 hours with the tv up loud. I was thinking I could really kill the mf’er and get away with it!
Take away the fact that Julia has a famous sister and look at the reality of the situation I have to agree with Sandrarose. I myself have family members (including a sister) that make POOR decisions when it comes to the men they let into their lives and around their kids. I pray nothing ever happens to me nephews or niece or my sister for that matter (or should I say “predictably wrong”) but as much as we preach to her (she is older than me) she doesn’t listen! She attracts (or should I say accepts) the same dead beats every time!
Snapped comes on back to back starting SUnday mornings. My dude gets scared because I go to sleep watching it and wake p watching it. Watch the same episodes over too.
Reading some of these comments about “Snapped” and I KNOW I made the right decision in NOT getting married again (Whew)
Furthermore…WE DATE WHO WE WANT TO!
ADVICE IS JUST THAT. Advice!
Even I…in my divine rightousness (lmao) have picked the wrong man once or twice! LMAO… The difference is MR. RIGHT NOW IS STILL MR. RIGHT NOW…months down the line after you’ve developed feelings for him.
Goes along with turning a hoe into a housewife.
BUT FOR REAL…you can’t force someone to stop dating someone that has their attention. People do what they want! Regardless of who has what to say about it.
@ ELove
Me and you are >>>.<<< bc I ain’t NEVER getting married. And I hate it when people think that it takes real man to ask a woman for her hand in marriage. Marriage is an outdated institution. It just a way for the government to keep tabs on your sh!T.
Well I’m definitely sticking with my opinion that thugs can come in all packages. Its easy to point the finger because this guy has a rap sheet, but I don’t think Julia should have guilt heaped on her shoulders for what has happened to her family. Many people have sick minds and do sick things and this man is obviously twisted if he committed this crime. Hell, some common criminals out here wouldn’t murder a mother or a child.
Ok but ummmm….Julian was NOT William’s son Sandra….
hermosa Says:
@ ELove
Me and you are >>>.<<< bc I ain’t NEVER getting married. And I hate it when people think that it takes real man to ask a woman for her hand in marriage. Marriage is an outdated institution. It just a way for the government to keep tabs on your sh!T.
^ You right about that.The definition of marriage has definitely changed.Some still believe the moral of marriage, and some don’t.
This is some bull. For one it has been said over and over estranged husband…as in not actively together. This probably had everything to do with money. Regardless if she married a plumber or a loser that doesn’t mean by all means they are to kill your damn family. The fact that you gave this a post pissing me the f-off. You should be ashamed…God don’t like ugly….
sexyma078 Says:
i mean havent we all dated someone at some point that makes us shake our head in disdain
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Did you do so with kids? Were they murderers, rapists, child molesters, thieves, etc?
I dated a loser in high school. I was 16 years old. He tried some shit with me ONE time. I told myself never again because I was too good for his ass.
The issue isn’t Julia per se. The issue is this lack of self-love and self-esteem black women are suffering because they feel black men are running out or disappearing. I just recently read in Essence that several experts have concluded that black women are throwing caution to the wind and dating questionable black men because they feel there is a shortage.
I know this happens all around, and it could even be an American cultural issue. I just think that the convo needs to be had eventually because if you go over to WhatAboutOurDaughters you can see these black women suffering at the hands of these “thugs” in uniform, suits or timbs. What is really going on?
Black women need to get that self-esteem back. We do not value ourselves enough and that’s a terrible shame.
LMAO @ “hug-a-thug”
It is sad that lessons come out of a tragic situation, but God has his reasons for everything. When I first started reading about this story, it reminded me of one of my sisters who has a loser that beats the crap out of her and threatens to do harm to her, her kids, and her family, but yet, she stays and will defend him by every means necessary. It’s hard to get through to people like that. It’s been over 7 years, and everytime we think she has had enough when she is laying in the hospital beaten, she turns around and ends right back with him, so I am deeply sadden about this loss.
It is a horrible situation, but I hope women that are in those type of situations take heed and learn.
And in the same breath, I wish that blog sites would not turn this situation into a debate for the sake of traffic numbers. I appreciate the updates, but when commentaries are added just for the sake of saying something, it’s very disrespectful to everyone involved in this. Wait till all the facts come out and you have a complete story to go by. The victims aren’t buried yet and opinions are already out there.
I hope a positive message can be sent out of these tradegies.
“Black women need to get that self-esteem back. We do not value ourselves enough and that’s a terrible shame.”
—–
No TRUE-ER Words could be said…
The IMAGE that is being portrayed TODAY (Since late 1980’s) of The Black Woman is Booty-Popping videos, Hip-Hop Men’s magazines, Underground Hip-Hop sex vids, Very Extremely SEXIST-Lyrics which most of the time are Very Demeaning-n-Disrespectful, ETC ETC ETC
And So Many females are Buying into this mess OR outright supporting it by participating WITH-A-THOUGHT!!!
Now I like me Some Strippers and Video Vixens (Don’t get it twisted) BUT the VILE-Way & Nature that THIS Hip-Hop inspired SEXPLOTAION-Behavior has affected OUR Community in a Far More devasting way than I ever imagined
@ #73 …The issue isn’t Julia per se. The issue is this lack of self-love and self-esteem black women are suffering because they feel black men are running out or disappearing.
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True. But i think some people are saying let’s not act as if we will never be in this position. Part of these arguments are about making poor decisions. Your poor decision may not have been a thug boyfriend that put your children in jepardy but I’ll bet in your lifetime you done something dumb. Getting behind a wheel after drinking too much can kill a family just a quickly as JHud’s family died and that would make us equally stupid as marrying a thug -because we know better. Yet all of us have done it at some point.
I meant “WITHOUT-A-THOUGHT!!!”
I skipped thru all the comments so if this has been said prior…my bad. Sandra, does Ed Dunn read your blog? Does he know how much you post stories/blogs about your 2 favorite thugh lovers Monica and Tiny? Does he know how much you ride T.I.P’S tip? Get off your high horse and take a long look in the mirror…..you are not the judge or jury in this lifetime or the next. You clearly don’t know what the fug you are talking about (as usual). I have to ask, what if this was your family, and someone played NYPD with that case? I swear you get on my nerves with you reckless reports.
^^^^
I co-sign 100%, Sandra needs to forward this story to Tiny and Monica ASAP!!!
I concur with many of your blog supporters. Now is not the time to discuss Ms. Julia Hudson’s choice in men and myspace page updates. It is inappropriate and shows very little regard for the trauma that the she and Jennifer Hudson are experiencing at this present time.
Can we at least allow the Hudson family to bury their beloved family members before we pass judgment on them?? Is time of the essence to the point that man choice and myspace updates had to be addressed at this time?
I may have to add some bloggers (and anyone else who felt the need to address these issues at this particular time) to my “Sit Your Azz Down” list. Your actions are tantamount to embalming the bodies during the funeral services while their loved ones are present.
I am flabbergasted that anyone can be so cold and heartless or indifferent to the magnitude of these women’s loss.
Remember just because you think does not mean you have to write or say it. Selah.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:00 am
24 dave Says:
“Jennifer’s sister Julia, who is a Chicago bus driver, saw the perfect thug in William with whom she had 7-year-old Julian” The perfect thug in williams, was that really called
Please quote me correctly Ed Dunn. This is some bullshit. Yeah i think it was fu*ked up statement that sandra used. How in the hell does she know what julia was looking for in a man. This is a touchy subject and her extra comments were not need.
Remember just because you think it does not mean you have to write or say it. Selah.
Seattle slim i am glad you learned early some don’t have I had the wrong people around my kids probably I had them at 16, unlike most that come on this site I will keep it gansta I have been there and done that and thanks to Jesus Christ me and my kids and my family are safe and keepin it moving but I have learned that in making judgements of others we are often judging ourselves. Sandra I don’t know you but this was very wrong to put this out there this soon but yes lets have this discussion we need to, just not now!!!!
No one is disputing the fact that Julia made a piss poor choice for a husband, but I don’t know if this is the time to rip her to shreds over it. Jennifer’s mother allowed that man to live in her house. Are we going to start pointing the finger at her too?
All I have are prayers for the Hudson family.
ladies please take idle threats and heated arguments seriously. let a man telling you ‘i’ll kill you’ one time, be one time to many and get the hell on.
julia said she didn’t think he was serious or would go through with it. i can’t see why not; and i dont say that simply because of the horrific events we’re all reading about. there’s no crying wolf when it comes to those type threats. ladies please. i know we joke about a lot of stuff, but this is serious.
her family will never be the same after all of this. as we all know, you dont get to mourn the death until after the the burial and sometimes later, in her case (celebrity and the magnitude of this case). i can not imagine man. this is really crazy. shoot a kid twice in the head????
At the end of the day. Two children have lost their mother, brother, son/nephew. Did Julia make a poor choice for a husband? YES, but don’t we all make stupid decisions at some point in time? And when we look back on them we think damn I was soo stupid. The only difference is Julia’s decision backfired it could have very well happened to a number of people. What we need to be focusing on is who did these horrible crimes and not let them get off easy by giving them the death penalty. Instead allow that victim to live and rot under the jail for what he did. And if it is indeed William Balfour who did these murders if I were his family I would move OUT of Chicago cause I guarantee someone is going to want some revenge. Someone should advise his mother to keep her mouth closed and not talk to press it just creates more anamosity. Hell I was angered by her and I’m not even in the Hudson family. This whole thing has really saddened and angered me. I’m saddened that innocent people were killed and a child excuse me a baby my lawd had to suffer also. I’m angered that the person who did it has not been accused or found and severely punished. My heart, prayers, and everything go out to the Hudson family I can’t even fathom the type of pain they are feeling. Oh Lord, please be with them. This is just so sad. This is probably everyones worse nightmare.
They need our love and support!
I got to jump in and say this: People need to wake up. We have made any thug the “it” guy by letting people like all the Rappers who have no respect for Women or Children or their own family rule. I am talking about all of these fat cats that are shacking up and dropping babies all over the world and still call themselves a man.
Sandra, if you said it, just remember all of these thugs you promote on your site is no better. And all of the girls and women that are having babies need their behinds kick because you don’t have too! Most of you think some guy is supposed to foot the bill when “If you can’t feed them, you don’t need them”!
A THUG is a Thug no matter who he or she happen to be!
” WHEN YOU STAND FOR NOTHING, YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING!”
I think Julia made the same choice alot of women make. They see the image of thugs in videos, movies, music and think that shit is cool… But you can’t just blame the thugs you have to blame these silly ass women that keep them posted on their sites and dating them… I’ve seen many ass whipping my these so called thugs on their women and a week later they still with them… Once women wake up, which will never happen then things will change… But it will never change in the hood, so ladies you are stuck sorry.
WOW SO THESE MOTHERF$$$CKERS ARE THUGS AND RUNNING AROUND KILLING FOLKS AND ALL WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS THE WOMEN THEY DATE??????????????????????????????????????
THERE IS AN OBSESSION WITH BLACK WOMEN IN AMERICA AND WE ARE ALWAYS AT FAULT FOR ANY DESPAIR WE SUFFER, WE DAMN IF WE DO AND DAMN IF WE DON’T
NICCAS CONSTANTLY COMPLAIN ABOUT THEY WANT A DOWN AZZ CHICK-MEANING SOMEONE WHO WILL TOLERATE HIS BULLSH$T AND NOT LEAVE HIS AZZ NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES-IF A BLACK WOMAN DOES THIS SHE’S DUMB AND DESERVES WHATEVER THE OUTCOME MAY BE, HENCE JULIA HUDSON
IF SHE DOESN’T THEN SHE IS NOT CONSIDERED DATEABLE BY BLACK MEN AND THEY SEEK SUBMISSIVE PARTNERS WHO OBEY OR OVERLOOK THEIR CHEATING AND ABUSIVE WAYS-SUCH AS WHITE WOMEN AND PUERTO RICANS-YEP I SAID IT!!!!
HOW ABOUT THIS???? WHY DON’T THESE NICCAS START TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS-FUC$KING A NICCA DON’T MAKE YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND WHEN JOHNNY LAW RIDE UP ON HIS IGNANT AZZ THEN HE’S GOING TO JAIL FOR A MURDER NOT THE WOMAN HE’S FU$$KING
TRUTH BE TOLD I’M SICK OF SORRY BLACK NICCAS THAT AINT ABOUT SH$T FROM JUMP AND CONSTANTLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BLAME FOR THEIR SHORTCOMINGS OR WEAKNESSES-AND THEIR EGOS ARE SO FRAGILE THEY WILL KILL YOU, DISRESPECT YOU, OR BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU IF YOU BRING ATTENTION TO THEIR OBVIOUS DEVIANT BEHAVIOR
HOW ABOUT BIG GO FU$K YOURSELVES AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE ROBBING, KILLING, PHILANDERING, AND NOT TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN KILL ONE ANOTHER OR GET LOCKED UP ASAP-I’M SICK OF YOUR AZZES AND NOW I SEE WHY THEY DO RACIAL PROFILING BECAUSE WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE-A BLACK MAN IS THE CULPRIT!!!!!! DON’T GET MAD AT ME GET MAD AT YOUR DAMNS SELVES!
IF OBAMA DON’T GET ELECTED AS THE NEXT PRESIDENT BLACK WOMEN HOLD ON….. SOMEHOW THAT WILL BE OUR FAULTS AS WELL
OH YEAH THE SOLUTION IS DON’T DATE A THUG-WELL NOTE TO SOME OF YOU
MOST OF THE THUGS ARE GOING MORE LOVING IN THE JAIL AND PRISON THAN A SISTA CAN GIVE EM A LIFE TIME
WHY DON’T YOU FORWARD YOUR ADVICE TO THE BIATCHES IN JAIL POKING THEIR THUG PASSIONS…..
AS IF, IF WOMEN DIDN’T DATE THEM THEY WOULD MIRACOUSLY DISAPPEAR, BLACK MEN DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT OUR OPINIONS OF THEM WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN WOULD THEY START CARING NOW BEING A THUG AINT GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH GETTING A WOMAN…A THUG IMAGE IS ABOUT ROBBING,KILLING, AND SELLING DOPE AND HAVING A REPUTATION FOR NOT TAKING NO SH$T-I GUESS WE CREATED THAT ISH TOO…..WHEN GANGSTA RAP CAME ABOUT THEY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE WOMEN IN THE DAMN VIDEOS-BLAME THE NICCAS WHO CELEBRATE AND GLORIFY THUG MENTALITY-BLOODS AND CRIPS AND GOT MUCH TO DO WITH BEING POPULAR WITH THE LADIES-IT’S ABOUT “MACHISMO” AND BEING CONSIDERED TOUGH
YALL MOFOS DON’T STRUCK A NERVE WITH THIS NONSENSE-NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WE ALWAYS LECTURE WOMEN AND HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR CHOICES AND ACTIONS-BUT WHEN IT COMES TO NICCAS THEIR IS ALWAYS SOME LAME AZZ EXCUSE MORESO A REASON WHY HE’S NOT TO BLAME FOR HIS ACTIONS-THIS EXACT TYPE OF THINKING IS WHAT HAS LEAD US TO WHERE WE ARE NOW-FATHER’S ARE NOT RAISING THEIR SON’S TO BE MEN!!!!!!