New England Patriots star Randy Moss responded to accusations of battery by a Miami woman by reminding fans that he is a family man with kids at home. Who knew bad boy Randy Moss was married with kids?

Moss claims he has never in his life put his hands on a woman in anger. So maybe he wasn't angry when he slapped his baby mama in 1996 or tapped a female traffic officer with his car in 2002? Charges were later dropped in that case.

Moss asserts the accusations by Rachelle Washington are false and that she is trying to extort millions from him. He also admits (reluctantly) that he and Washington have been "friends" for 11 years now.

Isn't it funny how athletes suddenly become saints and family men when their jump offs expose their dirty laundry to the world? Ms. Washington is simply following in the tradition of professional jump offs like Kim Porter, Shaunie O'Neal and Sarah Chapman who play their role patiently until it's time to cash in their chips.

"Everything's been positive," Moss said of his experience with the undefeated New England Patriots, "so why would I bring something negative on?"

Yeah, sure, Randy. Take him to the cleaners, girl!