Emo rapper Aubrey Drake Graham is set to host the 2014 ESPY Awards. The 27-year-old Canadian rapper is known to have an affinity for hard leg professional athletes. Although sports purists are complaining bitterly about Drake’s ESPY hosting duties, his credentials as a
team mascot “global ambassador” for the Toronto Raptors NBA franchise uniquely qualifies him to handle the ESPYs gig.
— Drizzy (@Drake) April 9, 2014
Drake hastily signed a partnership deal with his hometown Raptors shortly after he was publicly humiliated by the American Airlines Arena security staff following the Miami HEAT’s back-to-back NBA Championship win last season.
The arena security guards refused to allow Drake access into the HEAT locker room to celebrate with the team.
Drake has battled gay rumors his entire career. In an effort to dispel the rumors that he prefers manly back rubs, Drake hangs out with drug addled, alcoholic singer Rihanna.
Drake broke the news Wednesday that, to go along with his many other talents, he’ll show off his “award show host” chops this summer when he hosts the 2014 ESPY ceremony. There are trophies for that.
The Toronto-native and Raptors’ global ambassador made the announcement over Twitter, with a golf-themed spoof of his last album cover:
Drake is no stranger to the sports world — you heard “Draft Day,” right? — so it makes some sense for ESPN to name him the host. (His attempts to hang out with athletes are not always successful, though) Most recently Drake was seen sneaking into the Kentucky locker room to congratulate the team for making the NCAA national title game. (Maybe he’s cursed? Uh oh.)