Photo: Wireimage/Getty

In my comment section last week, one of my loyal readers, NC_NYer, advises black women not to hire a PI to follow their husbands and catch them in the act of cheating.

Accordint to NC_NYer, why waste money to confirm what she should already know?

This is the reason we as a race have the highest incidence of HIV/AIDS of any community.

A great number of men in Atlanta are cheating with other men - mainly male street hustlers who far outnumber female hookers.

A new study shows that 1 out of 5 men on average has slept with a hooker. According to the study, men sleep with hookers for any number of reasons: variety, getting something they can't get at home, or just the sheer thrill of it.

But if you don't ask, they don't tell.

"If I were asked point-blank, I would tell them the truth. But I wouldn't go out of my way to tell a girlfriend," says investment banker David, 27, who reports he really can't even count how many times he has been with a prostitute. He would only spill the beans if he thought he was going to get caught.

"If I thought I was going to let something slip, then I guess I would have to raise the issue," he says. "But if my girlfriend were really uptight, I would just never talk about it."

Psychologist and relationship expert Cooper Lawrence says the nicer the girlfriend, the more likely the guy might seek sex outside the relationship.

If you think your man doesn't cheat, remember that black women make up two-thirds of new HIV diagnoses among women.

  • shhhh

    Hahahaha, Sandra you are to f-ing crazy! hahaha, not that you put that girl pic up with this topic. Smh.

  • lexdiamonz

    shout outs from heidelberg germany but that is sad and sistas don't need a detective hell somebody need to hire us i KNOW i aint the only one who was riding dirty in a escort with keisha back in the day trying to catch her man creeping!!! LOL

  • bloggergirlz

    @lexdiamonz~i stayed in heidelberg during my first oversees trip to europe a few yrs ago!

    @sandra~you're wrong for putting that pic of gabby up w/ this story!

    this is scary! between men on the DL and male/female hookers, it just isn't safe out here...

  • MAJAHINEVERYWAY

    Stop hating on Gabrielle Sandra. Wives should continue the way they were before you married your man. We freak him while we are courting and then you get the ring, the kids come and you start being a prude. Check yourself married ladies. If he isn't getting it at home (and not just getting it, but getting freaked), he will somewhere else. Plain and simple.

  • AreUForReal

    Do all the digging you want ladies, but remember what grandma use to tell you back in the day.

    "Don't ask question you can't handle the answer to."

    What are you going to do after you confirm that he's cheating?

  • mizzdallas

    I live in Dallas, I'm single woman with no kids, I wonder if I ever met a straight guy. Recently, I went out on a date with this guy: He has his: own car, own professional job, own house, 1 kid, never been married etc., He seem like the idea candidate but since this DL stuff being good on within our community I'm always wondering if he is you know HOW U DOIN! so this guy took me to this nice restrauant, and we were having a nice conversation, toward the end of the night I told him I was ready to go home I have an early day tomorrow, HE said something that I still couldnt believe: HE told me that I dont have to go home I come home with him and his friend ( which is a men), we can have a three-some its whatever and oh yeah bye the way I'm married I ask him if he was gay he was like no I just have these urges and my guy friend is my best friend and thats how we get down.

    I couldnt believe I heard stories but never experience nothing like this, I ran out of that Damn restrauant and I told him to never ever F**kin call ME ever again!

  • kat

    ALL men don't cheat....but yes, it's alot that do. it's alot of women that cheat also, but not ALL of us do. and a man really has to be desperate, or gay, to pick up a hooker.

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    damn mizzdallas, thats some serious sh*t!!! At least he was honest, you know, so that you had the opportunity to run the hell up outta there, imagine the women who have no clue what so ever...Its far worse of a feeling I'm sure. I'm glad he gave you a heads up. Maybe Texas isn't the best place for you to find a catch, I heard they're DL and gay population is huge, almost like Atlanta's (even though Atlanta is a city)

  • mizzdallas

    Re: Krysi - yes the same one:

    You are so right DL & gay population is so HUGE in dallas its hard to find a straight dude here but luckily I'm able to travel more now so hopefully I will find someone.

  • AreUForReal

    @ mizzdallas

    Damn sug!!! That's tough. I'm glad he was honest with you though. I just feel bad for his wife!!

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    Girl don't even look, just let him come to you...you'll know when its right...a woman's intuition is usually pretty accurate a lot of woman just ignore the signs, and like Sandra said when you find yourself falling for someone, a PI's touch wouldn't hurt. Even if you catch him cheating, don't trip out if its a woman....sh*t they're ain enough men who cheat on women with women left I don't think looking for the perfect man in the world we live in is reality anymore. This is the real world....that love our great grandmothers had is in the past. both of my grandaddy's cheated on my grandmother's on both sides (mother and father) and whats worse is they used to get their asses beat too! But they were married for 56 and over 20 yrs.

  • http://www.myspace.com/millyly milly

    AreUForReal Says:

    Do all the digging you want ladies, but remember what grandma use to tell you back in the day.

    “Don’t ask question you can’t handle the answer to.”

    What are you going to do after you confirm that he’s cheating?

    **********************************************************
    Let his sorry ass go!

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    ...and what? end up in the arms of a man who treats you right, sucks your toes, runs your bath, buys you gifts, calls you all day, spends time with you, takes care of his kids, never lays a hand on you, except his step kids, keeps a good job, makes you an honest woman, and ask for a divorce within 5 years so that he can be with his gay lover!

    Terri Mcmillan will tell you, you saw "How Stella got her Groove Back", girl be careful. She probably wish she would've taken her ex husband back now!

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    Life just ain't the same

  • http://www.myspace.com/millyly milly

    Krysi - yes the same one Says:

    Life just ain’t the same

    ***********************************
    It is actually, the only difference is the
    truth is actually coming to light now.

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    Yea, thats true, a lot of grandmother's are finding out the reason why one of their sons is gay and the other are on the DL is because their husbands molested them. A lot of Gay uncles and cousins are admitting that they raped fellow family members because of it. Which explains why the DL epidemic is spreading so fast and men are happily coming out of the closets. Thank God for men who were untouched who raised their sons not to have sex with men, but with woman....maybe too many women. You weigh the good with the bad in the world we live in now a man on the DLWM (Down Low with men) or a man on the DLWW both are heartbreaking experiences but unless you're willing to go at it alone (which is a choice you may have to make) which man would you prefer? Seriously someone answer that question

  • Anti-believer

    Krysi...

    Men(people) are not gay cause they were molested. You are born gay! This has nothing to do with single parent homes, being molested, the food you eat, looking at the sunlight, wiping yo' ass..... PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY!

    Wake the fuck up!

    People don't do this for attention. It's how they truly feel inside.

    Coming from fristhand, better recognize!

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    I'm sorry but I have to disagree, until science of the Bible speaks otherwise. If people are born GAY then MAN created the chromosome because GOD sure didn't.

  • NC_NYer

    Wow....I'm not going to get into that nature vs. nuture on the aspect of homosexuality - very, very touchy....

    But now that I think about it, Sandra - I guess a P.I. wouldn't be a total waste of money - or at least some kind of investigative work. In the end, a person has the right to know the truth; anything less is unfair. A person also has the duty to protect themselves...and if that means you need to occasionally check out the situation (in addition to at least ATTEMPTING to communicate with the person) - then I guess you have to do what you have to do.

    But realize that you've already gone down a certain path once you've decided that you suspect your mate is cheating, and it probably isn't a great idea to stick with them without at least trying to find out why.

  • NYCUTIE

    My homegirl just found out that her fiance' has homosexual tendencies.. She looked through the history on his laptop and found a BUNCH of "she male" porn sites. Woman BETTER do their research! A DL man can land in a woman's lap. Also, be leary of that guy buying you tons of lingerie and only wants to eat the triangle with no sex attached. Yeah it may seem like homie is a gentleman but deep down he is craving a lot more than you & others like you.
    Please stop thinking that a man is born gay and that a man is bisexual. If a dude is penetrated once willingly, then that dude can't ever say he was just experimenting. If he tried it and didn't like it, he is going to find a man that won't mind him doing it to them.

  • hellava10

    1 in 5 have slept with A hooker or THIS hooker?

  • Anti-believer

    Kriysi...

    The book was written by man. Man saids in the book do not trust man. Man wrote about gay activity at the beginning of time, which means same sex people existed as long as str8 people did.

    christians are some fycked up people! Just because you read something doesn't mean it is true. the book has been revised, re-written, transcribe from another language, interpret, etc.

    your silly azz has been trained to think that way by hearing the same thing over and over again. Doesn't mean it's correct. just you been trained!

    Religion makes people CRAZY!

  • http://www.myspace.com/millyly milly

    Anti-believer is about to get it from Krysi

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    No! Your silly azz has been trained by similar GAYS to believe that f*ckery of people being born GAY! Its something you uplift to make you feel better about the lifestyle you live, you do all that sh*t for nothing...the Bible and who it was written by depends on your faith and belief and If GOD said its the word than I have faith in him and I believe it! I could careless what a man trying to find an excuse for being GAY and how he FEELS tries to come up with to make him look better in the eyes of others. If you are so damn proud you wouldn't give a damn what the Bible said or who wrote it, the choice to be GAY would be yours proudly, obviously you are still having issues with that.

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    But don't blame it on Christians honey...Its your soul not theirs, plenty of Christians have their own sins to account for.

  • kpakpando

    Sandra we knew you were talking about Luda the other day, but putting his picture with this post...lol! What happened to the new leaf you're turning Sandra?

    Why you always pumping this agenda on your website that all men cheat or go with hookers? I hope you're not trying to sour your heterosexual female population on the opposite sex for your own motives :)

  • AreUForReal

    @ Anti-believer

    The book was written by man. Man saids in the book do not trust man. Man wrote about gay activity at the beginning of time, which means same sex people existed as long as str8 people did.

    christians are some fycked up people! Just because you read something doesn’t mean it is true. the book has been revised, re-written, transcribe from another language, interpret, etc.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Uhm......... sweetie...... you do realize that the first 5 books of the BOOK you are speaking of are the same in the Torah and Koran? Did you know that Leviticus is the 3rd book of all of these books? And, that Leviticus contains the rules that we are suppose to live our lives by according God. Which means that these are the rules that govern all of the major religions in the world. So before you come in here attacking someones faith because of your personal beliefs know your history. The full history.

  • Anti-believer

    That's your opinion, sweetie bytch

  • Anti-believer

    Kyrsii...

    No, i don't have issues with who I am. Proud and happy that I am gay. NEXT!

  • Bsoul

    Anit-believer, are you male or female? I don't want to assume your gender.

  • AreUForReal

    Anti-believer Says:

    That’s your opinion, sweetie bytch

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    Look here you lil scamp I didn't call you anything derogatory originally, so don't come at me like that. I don't care who you sleep with, just leave faith out of it.

    The statement that I made to you is FACT. You do know the difference between opinions and facts right. The rhetoric you were spouting about Christians is an opinion. The statement I made about the Bible, Torah, and Koran all being linked is a FACT. You can research it anywhere you choose on the internet.

    You might want to brush up on exchanging ideas with other adults without having to attack them. That is so unbecoming whether your straight, gay, or undecided.

  • https://www.sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    AreUForReal Says:

    What are you going to do after you confirm that he’s cheating?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Get an HIV/STD test? :/

  • AreUForReal

    Anti-believer Says:

    That’s your opinion, sweetie bytch
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    And, by the way, It is extremely comical that after having so much to say before that this is the only come back you had to my post. Is it because you couldn't think of a better arguement? Because you were speaking off of pure emotion before and have no idea about the history you were disrespecting? Or what?

    LMAO. This comeback was so pathetic it's hilarious.

  • AreUForReal

    Sandra Rose Says:

    AreUForReal Says:

    What are you going to do after you confirm that he’s cheating?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Get an HIV/STD test? :/
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I know that's right!! And, make sure it's a blood test for all STD's. I recently learned from a friend, who had the unfortunate mispleasure of falling for an unfaithful man, that herpes CAN NOT be detected through a normal OB/GYN swab test. It can only be detected through a blood test. So all of you who have been trying to do right and live healthy lives please go get a blood test.

    I actually contacted the department of health after talking to her to ask why herpes is not included in the normal STD testing group, and was told that it is not considered a serious health risk. So don't think you can go to the local clinic and get checked out. You will need to contact your personal physician.

  • Krysi – yes the same one

    No, i don’t have issues with who I am. Proud and happy that I am gay. NEXT!

    ___________________________________________________________

    Yea boo, your happy now, after I've informed you of how to be so. NEXT!

  • ms.peaches

    AreUforReal....Ok sweetie calm down don't even let anyone take you out of your character on this website!! trust me I been there & done that(lol)
    If I may though try to put 2 & 2 together remember that post Sandra put up about when FreddyO did the interview with that male prostitute & he was naming name & all that well after that Sandra put up another post about the same topic & if Im not mistaken Ludacris name was on there well actually she had it like this L******* but I think we all pretty much figured that out, anyway it's just odd to me that she would choose to put his pic up under this post, with Gabby right next to him hmmm how appropriate!! so are we speaking of Luda supposedly messing around with hookers or are we actually calling Gabby the Hooker(lol) Im hungry so Im sure Im reading way too much into this!!! & it's time to go!!

  • hellava10

    Yep, AreUForReal & Krysi--let it roll. The name calling wasn't called for-there are enough men calling females bytches--we don't have to add to it. Stay true to you. One thing I found (primarily when discussing religion/politics-which is why I refrain) when you know that you know that you know that you know, you speak the Word and He will take care of the rest. Just plant the seed and walk away. He brings the sunshine and the rain.

    @ Milly, I could see it brewing too

  • kpakpando

    AreUForReal Says:

    I know that’s right!! And, make sure it’s a blood test for all STD’s. I recently learned from a friend, who had the unfortunate mispleasure of falling for an unfaithful man, that herpes CAN NOT be detected through a normal OB/GYN swab test. It can only be detected through a blood test. So all of you who have been trying to do right and live healthy lives please go get a blood test.

    I actually contacted the department of health after talking to her to ask why herpes is not included in the normal STD testing group, and was told that it is not considered a serious health risk. So don’t think you can go to the local clinic and get checked out. You will need to contact your personal physician.

    ________________________________________________

    So many health care providers fail their patients when it comes to sexual health. I'm always shocked that people don't know to ask specifically for certain screenings, and I'm just appalled that these health care providers don't bother to explain the difference. Fugg that, I expect to get my $15 co-pay's worth of medical attention.

  • NYCUTIE

    I thought everyone knew that you must specifically ask to be tested for Herpes. Now I am even more scared! People aren't as scared as they should be when it comes to STD's. Curable or not, everyone should be petrified of them!

  • NYCUTIE

    Women need to value their triangles.

  • AreUForReal

    I thought everyone knew that you must specifically ask to be tested for Herpes. Now I am even more scared! People aren’t as scared as they should be when it comes to STD’s. Curable or not, everyone should be petrified of them!

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    When your screened at the clinic (@ least here in NC) you are only given a swab test, which will only give inconclusive results. You would be surprised what people don't know to ask for. I'm not ashamed to admit that I didn't know, and I was a teen voice educator for ARC. most of us only know the information that is presented to us. Which is usually only prevention and symptoms. More information needs to be giving about appropriate screening procedures.

  • https://www.sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    MAJAHINEVERYWAY Says:

    Stop hating on Gabrielle Sandra.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    If I was hating on her my post title would have been, "1 in 5 Men Has Slept With Gabrielle Union."

  • mzzphateegirl@yahoo.com

    lol@ gabrielle union. her azz is always somewhere, yeah put her azz on blast.

  • http://www.findentertainmentnow.com miesha@FindEntertainmentNow.com

    "the nicer the girlfriend the more likely the man is the cheat??" WTF?! :(