If Essence editors weren’t aware before, they know now that the average, black, female demographic is fairly intelligent and not at all as gullible as Essence thinks they are.
I constantly tell my celebrity associates and industry execs not to underestimate my readers. My readers are not dumb and they tend to pick up on BS fairly rapidly.
Now Essence magazine is dealing with the wrath from their dwindling readership who are objecting strenuously to Essence putting NFL baller Reggie Bush on the cover of its “Love & relationships” issue.
Not only is the pic old (Essence can’t afford photo shoots at the moment) — but readers objected to the fact that Reggie could care less about dating black women. So why put him on the cover of a magazine that targets a majority black female demographic?
Here’s what blogger SisterToldja had to say about the controversy brewing over at Essence:
Kim Kardashian became famous for being the friend of Paris Hilton and for being in a sex tape with Brandy’s brother. She has a reality show [wherein] she portrays herself as a seemingly vapid, shallow woman. Kardashian is beautiful, and she’s also known for a body part that is largely associated with Black women. We all know that had Kim Kardashian been a Black woman, she would be considered damaged goods and it would be HIGHLY unlikely that she’d be wifed up by a man in the spotlight. The same men who write off sisters for what they perceive to be overly sexual reputations laud Reggie for having “a bad chick” like Kardashian by his side.
A lot of our ire about interrcial dating is about the seemingly different standards the Black men who date other women have for them as opposed to for us. On what planet would a Black 22-year-old domestic get to marry a Stanford grad who is one of the world’s most successful athletes? Or the Kendra woman from “Girls Next Door”: could a Black woman jump from Hugh Hefner’s bed to the altar with a handsome pro-baller? What Black female could escape a sex tape scandal only to become a telvision star with a gorgeous, succesful boyfriend? Read More…
who really cares who he dates? it’s his preference. get you a white man and move the h*ll on or STFU. why complain about ? if this black man don’t want you another one will.
This is kinda messed up. But black females do love Reggie Bush, don’t they? (shrugs shoulders)
even if they put tiger (loves blond hair) woods on the cover, why be outrage about who’s a black man giving it too! I thought y’all did a special on cnn dissing black mens over white mens!
Is he not on the cover as one of the 10 sexiest black men???
OK I’m a lil confused about how I feel about this. In Essence defense it does say Black Men, Love and Relationship. So maybe he’s just on there for the black men part!!!
anyway he looks good!
I don’t care who dates who but real talk I agree with a lot of what the blogger is saying about the standards/hypocrisy that black men use when dealing with women of their race compared to women of other races
it’s not like the article he’s in is talkin about how to love a black woman so I don’t see the problem
people need to worry bout themselves if him and Kim are happy why does anyone care who he dates.. im sure he has dated black women… people need to stop worrying bout everyone elses relationships thats why they own falling apart!
Just like you and me have a preference of who we date based on our type, attraction (physical and personality wise), so do men, of all races not just black men. Why put her down for what his preferences are? What if someone put you down for your preferences?
What difference does it make if you date outside your race? Didn’t God give us choice? Don’t we live in America? If the person makes you happy shouldnt that be enough?
I agree with some of what that letter said. Yes to each their own, or however the saying goes BUT if Kim was black so would be damaged goods, you cant turn a hoe into a house wife and everything else. She made a sex tape and made some sort of profit off it but it’s ok in some peoples mind and she is dateable/marriage material. And Kendra was one of three women who dated Hugh, posed naked in PB…. I dont really care too much if someone wants to date outside their race but I do agree with one of the points that are made.
What is all the fuss about?! The only issue with this cover is that the picture is old! Get over it!
Really?
Why make a big deal about nothing. Reggie is black..the is issue is about black men and the love they give not who they are giving their love too.
Also, I think it’s pretty funny when black women say having a big but is a attribute associated with black women. Really? Is that really an attribute you want associated to the black women race? A big butt.
I Co- sign with Shauny !
Now that is what’s up…. Hypocrisy… damn shame !
When WE stop looking at everything as balck and white THEN we can move on. Until then
I thought Kendras man was half white? Aren’t his parents always on the show?
So why would he be dating outta his race?
Dating outside his race is not an issue for me; I just think he could have done much better. He seems like a laid back guy who limits his exposure whereas kim seems to crave it more than air. If that’s his preference I wish him luck.
I think some people are missing the point. The title of the mag is about black love and relationships. Reggie is cute but he shouldn’t be on that cover b/c he can’t speak on black love or relationships. It’s like false advertisement.
The title is BLACK MEN, Love and relationships. Not black men and women, love and relationships. I think they were just trying to shed some light on the fella’s since magazines usually just feature the point of view of the ladies.
Is Reggie discussing his relationship in the magazine? I thought he was just part of the “10 Sexiest Men” section.
MWNY, the title of the mag reads: BLACK MEN, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP ISSUES….last i checked Reggie was a Black Man.
—
It doesnt say BLACK LOVE…..
I agree with some points the poster made also but i get tired of hearing the “black man dont want black women” ish. soooo and whats the point. why do black men have to stick to dating black women.
And also if a black man or woman dates outside of their race, are they not black anymore (am I not hispanic anymore since I am married to a white man) therefore excluding them from speaking of black love?
I’m all for interracial dating, date who you want…for the RIGHT REASONS. But on the real…i agree with alot of what the blogger wrote. Infact me and a friend was discussing somthing similar just a few weeks ago.
And I posted yesterday, that reggie lost his sexiness to me when he started messing with kim. He just doesn’t do it anymore. And i’m not gonna lie….my eyes rose up with i saw that it was black love and relationship above his pic…
As someone previously pointed out it says at the top: Black men, Love & Relationships issue. Not Black love or Black relationships. Reggie is featured in the 10 Sexiest Black men section. I don’t think their is an interview w/ him.
jazi65 Says:
Dating outside his race is not an issue for me; I just think he could have done much better. He seems like a laid back guy who limits his exposure whereas kim seems to crave it more than air. If that’s his preference I wish him luck.
*********
I think i agree. He could of done better. It just turned me off to him.
@Hermosa I don’t think anything is wrong with embracing curves that are known to black women
I am team Kim (WORK BISH) all day and I feel one of the reasons she likes/dates black men is because she is curvy and YT men (some) would think she is fat but she knows the brothas won’t.
I don’t think the point is about dating outside ur race.
I agree with @shauny about the hyprocrisy.
Im don’t know how to feel to be honest…I mean I will be honest I do get tried of seeing the succesful black men wifing up the “others” but hey love is blind right. I think I’m more so irritated that these jump offs seem to be getting to the alter quicker that us respectible women. What kind of message does that send to our daughters, nieces, grandaughters, etc… I mean it used to be the slut hid under a rock and was avoided by everyone except those men looking for a quick hit. Now its ok to submit to whoredom…I just hate that she has a sex tape out and obviously has no real talent and she was put on…
@ Lovely, I agree. Just because a Black man dates or marries outside the race doesn’t mean he hates or dislikes Black women. I have a Black co-worker who’s married to a White woman but he is one the nicest people you will ever meet. He treats everyone w/ respect, greets everyone at work and is more than willing to help you out when needed.
i’m hyped up on nyquil…my thoughts are all over the place
i’m not sure why some of us get SO worked up over this topic. it is neverending, and i’m sure it will not end with this couple. i personally don’t care who reggie bush dates or any black man for that matter. we come from a line where we were FORCED to stick together…and now that this is no longer an obligation people are choosing whomever they want to share their lives with.
in some cases we’d love to be treated as one in the same & in others we want to be segregated…i don’t understand. let that man live & date who he wants.
i am aware that essence is targeted towards black women but has reggie vocalized his distaste for black women?…maybe he has dated ALL different races of women & happened to date kim. k at this time.
i understand where a lot of the anger comes from.. i love my black people…and i love nothing more than seeing a black family…but we all have the ability and the right to choose whomever we want. i don’t have an attraction to men of other races/nationalities…that’s my personal preference one could argue the reason behind that with me…
:notworthy:
In the words of Mr. Burns EXCELLENT!
I agree 100000000% with this post. Damn I’m about to do an email fwd of this. & I don’t care who he dates. I don’t even find him sexy (heard he used this photo before.) But as I said before…..
Why date outside your race to date a woman that has what your race is known for having. (& maybe he loves her for her but the Kardashians make it seem like they got black men for having black women feat).
In the real world Kim would be another video SLUT!
More than anything I’m just tired of seeing the same damn picture of him. Haven’t they used this same pic on the cover like… 3 years ago? He isn’t even that thick anymore! :/
Reggie is part of the Sexiest Men article but it is the Love & Relationships issue. Essence should have known they were going to catch flack about this. Remember how upset readers were a few years ago when Diddy & Kim were on the cover for this same issue???
Essence could have taken some new pictures of Reggie Bush. LOL
This picture from Sports Illustrated is still HOT though!
Ummmm, its 2010; AND We all God’s children.. Who cares about Race? Date whoever you want to!! I got a better point…Well WHO should have graced the cover? I cant think of 1 Black man in Hollywoood, Sports, etc, that would have been the “standard”,or the appropriate fit for a Black Magazine “Love & Relationships” issue…
Name 1???? NONE. My point. So whats the fuss about? Maybe they should used Tiger instead, lol…
@daisy
I never said not to embrace it. I embrace my big boobs but it’s not an attribute I associate with Latin women. I just think it’s funny when this big butt issue is being brought up when talking about Kim.
And you know I am Team Kim!
Girl Bye, I’m so over Essence. They lost me when they stopped putting articles of interest in the mag, and revamped with bigger advertisements and started featuring high end clothing.
But that’s what happens when you sell out – so actually, having Reggie on the cover is being amongst friends.
Fu*k, Essence, Ebony and Jet!
I think the point that many are missing is the hypocrisy and double standards, highlighted in the letter. Let’s be honest, the entire reason Tiger Woods’ whoring is in the news is because he was whoring with a bunch of white women AND his wife is a blonde Swede (top of white men’s fantasy list). Much of what has fueled the story is the fact that white women are placed on a high pedestal and this black guy had the ‘nerve’ to cheat on his ‘perfect wife.’ The wording of the reports are comical
I really don’t have a problem with interracial dating. I have and will continue to date outside of my race. If I like you, I like you.
I also agree with Shaunay about the hypocrisy. I have friends (black men) that won’t date a black woman because as Ray J would put it “she smashed the homies.” However, they will date a woman of another race who has done the exact same thing. To Each Its Own….
Even if the heading said Black Love, Reggie IS black and he can speak from his perspective! Dang some people can really make a mountain out of a molehill. I teach my kids that love is blind, no one knows who they are going to fall in love with beforehand. Just sayin’
Its hard to find a black man sexy who doesn’t even look twice or want anything to do with a black woman.Reggie Bush as always dated latina or white women.Yes it is 2010 and no it doesn’t matter about race or who you date..its just that black women aren’t the favored race when it comes to a man of any color looking for love especially white,asian,hispanic and even some/most black men for that matter.
@ Hermosa…I’m putting your dog on the dognap list too, Tex, Dani84 y’all are already there.
Is Kim not good enough bc her sex tape leaked?
What about all the regular girls who have made sex tapes but have not leaked, are they not good enough either?
@ ReadTheBlog – Yes, Essence lost me when they kept giving Kim Porter, PBM (professional baby mamma), an avenue to keep playing woe is me. She was in the magazine every other month talking about JLo, Sarah & her child. As a woman who ISN’T petty, I didn’t want to read that sh*t. Save it for a ghetto blog. And don’t get me started on the Halle Berry articles: “I triieed, trieeed to love black men.”
OhPretty, I get your point as well as the point the blogger was trying to make, but that’s the world in which we live.
I’m reading some of these comments and a lot of y’all are slave-minded indviduals that will settle for anything if handed to you! It is just like a slave to justify some bullsh*t, cause you think Massa is doing everything in an upright fashion – Everything on the plantation ain’t all good! Rebellious Negros know better!
Y’all slave-minded individuals need to take notes in 2010, and make some new friends.
Black men in general are attracted to a “younger” white or ethnic womens face and hair and a black womens body. Black women need to stop making demands on what they feel black men should be attracted too. The hard Aborigine looking sisters are not in demand, however, most sisters can compete with women of other races as long as they take care of themselves (Hair, teeth, body & attitude)however they don’t take care of what brothers like. Yeah skin color can be an issue however a darker skin sister who has those other things together will not have a problem getting a man. A black women can carry more weight than women of other races, however, none of you are more attractive at 200lbs plus than you would be if you were 140lbs to 170lbs. How many times have I heard a sister saying “You just have to accept me as I am”. Ok, if that’s how you feel cool, but, don’t be supprised when a brother takes a pass. Yeah, most of these celebrity black men are dating LSLH, but, look at their weight. How many of them are 200lbs plus? Even Khole Kardasian weights only about 160 and she is considered big.
Reggie Bush isn’t all that to me whatsoever. I’m so over these athletes and rappers who dating requirements limit them to light skin, Latino, or exotic looking women. What is wrong with a nice looking sister? But whatever.
@Hermosa having a big azz is just one thing sistas are known for anybody can have big boobs and now an azz if you pay for it BUT its not a matter of wanting or not wanting to be associated with big butts it just is IMO
I know you are team Kim. I think Kim gets to much flack for the s*x tape while I would never make one I am sure plenty of reg. chicks do and their ex boo may have showed it to the homies (pre or post break up) but they dont count.
After having numerous conversations with my single female friends on this issue, what I have learned is that they don’t really care that black men date outside of their race. They usually just find it disheartening when black men tend to go to women of other races, therefore leaving black women with a small pool to choose from. Most of them are more than willing to date men of other races/nationalities, but where I’m from, “other” men aren’t checking for black women like that. So, what you end up with is a demographic of women who may never get married (42%) due to the lack of available black men.
I know this isn’t the case for every black woman, but this is what I have come to learn through discussions with my friends and my geographical location.
wow just wow so now black women are the only ppl who weight over 200lbs
I knew this was coming at some point that is why I grabbed my
@Readtheblog
Wow…. At being slave minded for allowing myself to be loved by a MAN not a race and for recognizing that maybe Reggie is doing the same. How about not being slave minded to think that the only relationships out there for women of color is with a man of color.
To me making everything about black/white is more of a testament of slave-mindedness.
Thank heavens that seems to be a fading sentiment in our lifetimes.
#47 I hear this weight issue ALL of the time from brothers – who look pregnant! What is that about?! And no, I’m not big.
I am so sick of the black/white issue it is getting so old and so played out..
I don’t care who he likes and who he ends up dating and marrying…
People have preferences and if they choose something other than what is expected of them, then there is an uproar.
White women seem not to care to much who white men date, especially not as much as black women do… If we put all that energy into something positive, I think the world would be a better place.
Didn’t read the whole post, but I got the just of it. I don’t care who he date’s but as long as he’s not married… if I catch him in traffic, I’m got a condom with his name on it!
I think he’s so sexy 
readers objected to the fact that Reggie could care less about dating black women.
****************************************************
It’s not a “fact” unless you have a quote of him saying this. TEAM KIM & REGGIE…they are clearly in love. LET THEM BE GREAT, WOULDJA??????
@trynabeme
How about we let ANYONE be great that is able to find love and happiness with a whatever race individual, instead of focusing so much on what other people are doing with their hearts.
Just because YOU prefer to date within a shade of the rainbow does not make it wrong that SOMEONE ELSE prefers another.
@tryna-not specifically you, just you in a general sense (didn’t want any confusion
)
I could care less who dates who. I have my own preferences which is white men, so I can’t judge.
1. Reggie does NOT date black women (random lays dont count). I have read MANY bloggers and even know a USC alumni that have confirmed this.
2. I do not support black men (or ppl in general) who dont support black women. Robin Thicke has a great appreciation for his black wife…why cant he be on the cover (of a bw magazine)?
3. More importantly, grown men who wife WHORES loose my respect. As a woman I cannot fantasize about someone I dont respect.
4. There are so many black men who date and even prefer to date black women. Why this? I’m still disgusted with Essence. Considering this cover & the reports of declining content, I hope the magazine folds
licia Says:
who really cares who he dates? it’s his preference. Get you a white man and move the h*ll on or STFU. why complain about ? if this black man don’t want you another one will
____________________________________________________Essence did not think this through!
It is so not a matter of who REGGIE dates. This is not a COMPLAINT about Reggie.
There is an under the surface issue, that simply if you’re not us…you simply cannot relate to. It is horrible that black women who speak up on things that affect us socially we are regarded as bitter, jealous or simply angry! . Black men deciding we are not worthy to wife affects us socially…whether we want to admit it.
Media tells “us” that “our” beauty is neither appreciated nor is it actively being sought after. Others want to ask “Why can’t you simply be a part of the melting pot?’ We are simply not being offered that opportunity as diligently, especially if we are not completely confirmed to the European preferred look.
Our black men use the excuse that we are too direct, too independent, and too aggressive, all adjectives that describe traits adapted out of necessity due to being left to fend for ourselves. When left in the wilderness alone you don’t have the privilege of submissiveness, dependency and timid. You have to GO GET IT, YOU HAVE To BE HEARD and you have to remain relevant. Otherwise we would really fade to black .no pun intended
I love all things BLACK. I love our BLACK MAN..AND Unlike some of our black men, I have no desire to date anyone other than a black man. I would prefer to give my gifts of loyalty and submissiveness to a BLACK MAN…the REAL KINGS
Can we find a new issue for 2010 puhleasseee??? I just don’t get it. Back in the day, you couldn’t even eat in the same place as a white person. People died for us to be desegregated, now we want to bring it back to that? Black guys are only supposed to date black women? I don’t get it?? Instead of complaining about how LSLH or white women are taking all the black men…get off your ars and try something new. Why don’t you stop being limited by race and allow yourself to be loved by a MAN REGARDLESS OF HIS RACE.
Black women have a small dating pool because they RESTRICT themselves to a small dating pool. Getting upset about Black men that don’t give a damn about me was never my forte. I’m not LSLH and have never had a problem with men period…and I chose to fall in LOVE with a white man or the “devil” as some of you would call him that is more socially aware than 99.9% of the people on this planet.
We Black women need to stop riding or dying for Black men and K.I.P on to the next one
That is all…
I agree, that when it comes to black women we are expected to settle for less. If we want a man with money, then we are gold-diggers, but white women are expected to be with a man with $$$. Why should we have to lower our standards because we are black? Why should I not be able to want a man with money, good credit, a good job, a car, and family values? This doesn’t make me a gold digger. I have those things, so why shouldn’t I be able to want a future prospect to have them too? Black women, shouldn’t have to lower our standards.
White women do what they have to, to get where they need to get in life. Why should it be any different for us? And maybe more black women should start dating out of our race, and stop waiting around and getting mad when black men date every other race on the planet. They do it all the time and don’t feel bad about it either. I like to keep my options open, I date any man that I find attractive, forget about having loyalty to black men. They obviously don’t have loyalty to black women.
@texa, @kcicero,
thank you. I’ve dated black and white men and I never looked at the color of their skin. They were wonderful men who loved me for me as I loved them for who they were.
All of you who are talking about Find LOVE!! What other races are checking for BLACK WOMEN? IF they were, than this would be a none issue. But they’re not
LOL @ Texa…you know I scrolled back up like, “what I say?”
I believe we’re on the same page…LOVE is LOVE…if you lucky enuff to find it, keep it!
Texarican, sweetie, *sigh* How do I say this nicely…dont’ ever challenge me when it comes to race unless you’re prepared to be sh*tted on
#noshade
I’m a very rebellious person, I’ve always been. I’m very outspoken. I do not settle for things that are put in front of me for face value. Those that do, those that do not question, those that try to justify what the Massa does, and brushes off subtle insults are lazy and slave-minded. Don’t shoot the messenger. Come back when you’ve been liberated, m’kay?
I’m telling y’all. Y’all better read some books instead of watching these stupid ass reality shows.
I understand both arguments…that everyone is making…..but I feel no one should be limited to one thing…..Reggie…can like w/e he wants as long as he doesn’t belittle/degrade black women I don’t care…..Me personally I like all races…and like some have said….it isn’t the color of the skin that counts…it is how they treat you that matters the most….
ReadTheBlog Says:
I’m reading some of these comments and a lot of y’all are slave-minded indviduals that will settle for anything if handed to you! It is just like a slave to justify some bullsh*t, cause you think Massa is doing everything in an upright fashion – Everything on the plantation ain’t all good! Rebellious Negros know better!
Y’all slave-minded individuals need to take notes in 2010, and make some new friends.
______________________________________
:WOOT:
ReadTheBlog Says:
I’m reading some of these comments and a lot of y’all are slave-minded indviduals that will settle for anything if handed to you! It is just like a slave to justify some bullsh*t, cause you think Massa is doing everything in an upright fashion – Everything on the plantation ain’t all good! Rebellious Negros know better!
Y’all slave-minded individuals need to take notes in 2010, and make some new friends.
_________________________________________
Raising my revulionnary fist!! RTB, I’m wth you
Well to those of you who are in the dirty…maybe there are no other races checking for Black women in your area but I’m in the Bay Area and here, best believe they are checkin’ for us!
Its like there are three different issues being conveyed in these comments.
RTB is on it today lol
@trynabeme
I’m from philly and in my hayday I was in relationships with a Cambodian, White, Black, Puerto Rican and Sudanese men. Those who say other races ain’t checkin for us obviously don’t get out much #noshade #justsaying…
Some of you commenting on slave mentality are the one’s with the complex…Slavery ended a long time ago. I’m not saying people aren’t still mistreated, because that wouldn’t be true. But you telling black men and women to only date their race is SLAVE MENTALITY…shiat, that’s racist. You know what we call white people who go around saying we shouldn’t mix races? The mother effin KKK! If black men ain’t checking for you, sounds like a personal problem to me…maybe you should fall back and evaluate yourself as a person.
>:(
It’s 2010 people! Not 1950!
WHY ARE BLACK WOMEN SUPPORTING A MAN (reggie) WHO HAS A HISTORY OF NOT BELIEVING BLACK WOMEN ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO DATE? I speak with my fiance about relationships a lot and he always tells me, most times (NOT ALL TIMES) women are responsible for their own failed relationships. That being said, this support of Reggie seems like many black women will accept anything! Its like staying with a man that you know is cheating on you. Why love someone who wont love you back?
Now there are some black men who are equal opportunists and date everyone. But Reggie is the type according to USC alumnis to date everyone EXCEPT black. Clearly there is a difference.
I cleary stated that geographical location was a part of the basis for my statement. I am the product of an interracial marriage (black mother, white father), thus being aware that it happens. But I speak only on what I know to be the case in the South (Alabama). And I can tell you, they are not checking for black women here.
relationships with a Cambodian, White, Black, Puerto Rican and Sudanese men.
______________________________________________________
REALLY? culturally they choose to “MARRY” one of their own!! Best believe that culturally, their temporary liberation is done behind the backs of family and their own community acceptance.
GUCCI WELL DAYUM
Why are we so angry and hurt? Are we hurt because “they” rather date “them”?
We really need to figure out the root of the problem…this is bigger than blk/white and right/wrong.
Hold up ain’t none of us(I know I am not) checking for Reggie..so whoever he dates doesn’t affect me…I think this is an endless debate…..we will like who we want..and think how we want to…..So to each its own..if your pro black …good for you..if you pro dating outside of your race….good for you…..As long as the person loves you that is all that matters…..
LovelyOne hit the nail on the head! It’s not about embracing other races/cultures…it’s about EXCLUDING YOUR OWN! That’s where the problem lies.
southernbelle Says:
I cleary stated that geographical location was a part of the basis for my statement. I am the product of an interracial marriage (black mother, white father
________________________________________________
Please KNOW that I mean ABSOLUTELY no HARM!! when I say I felt that you were. As with anyone else on here who wants to tell us to “GET OVER IT”…you are in a position of simply not being able to RELATE.
For the record, @Read the blog it was not a “challenge” it was a response. And as far as being defecated on, I was not aware of anyone who was not in control of their bowel movements posting on here so
So much for adult conversation. Wow at you feeling that strongly against people that, like myself, have found someone who shares their values, love for life, goal oriented state of mind, and most of all, the drive to form a happy family for our children.
Thank you Lord, for taking my blinders off (or should I say for blinding me from skin color) so that I was able to accept the wonderful man you placed in my life. Thank you Jesus.
@Daisy
Never said blk women are the only women over 200lbs. I said “none of you are more attractive at 200lbs plus than you would be if you were 140lbs to 170lbs.”
I am from the south! There are plenty of other races checking for us here. Like renegadesince1985 said it is 2010 not 1950.
“I I like ’em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian with good conversation plenty big faces.” lol
Yep its 2010 & the US Census for has a choice of NEGRO to be checked off under race for black people. You can find that via the ny daily news this week.
@RTB & Ggouch
if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything
@rj thanks for clearing that up :yea:
interracial dating is frowned upon in the south STILL. I’ve dated outside my race and didn’t care about the stares.BUT it’s very rare that you see mixed couples like you see up north.
I bet if Kim Kardashian was SUPERHEAD!!!…..smh
Some of you commenting on slave mentality are the one’s with the complex…Slavery ended a long time ago. I’m not saying people aren’t still mistreated, because that wouldn’t be true. But you telling black men and women to only date their race is SLAVE MENTALITY…shiat, that’s racist. You know what we call white people who go around saying we shouldn’t mix races? The mother effin KKK! If black men ain’t checking for you, sounds like a personal problem to me…maybe you should fall back and evaluate yourself as a person. _____________________________
First!! WELCOME BACK!!…now I say WHAT the HELL!!! are you taking about? EVALUATE? evaluate what exactly? a personal problem? EVALUATE, root word VALUE!! Therefore I question men, whose mothers, sisters and aunties who look like me….decides that there is no worth.
As with most things I can see where ppl on both sides are coming from. I do wish we could lose the name calling but thats just wishful thinking..I digress.
I am only attracted to black/PR/Dominican men plain and simple. I could care less if somebody wants to date outside their race (male or female) as long as they DO NOT put down their own race in the process.
Yep it’s 2010…and I clearly stated that people are still being mistreated. Things aren’t equal. But how does segregating yourself help anything? Doesn’t that only further ensure inequality?
@Krysi wasnt superhead engaged and Bill Maher had no problem dating her and he is in the public eye but I feel where you coming from
@ va_shawty, I lived in Richmond and saw Black women dating and marrying non-Black men. I actually worked w/ a couple of White men who only dated Black women.
@southernbelle
Exactly!! I’m in Alabama too.
@Cinderella, yep, I saw that all of the time when I lived in Norfolk, Virginia Beach.
@ggouch…I do not hold to the belief of “Get over it” and trust me, I can relate. And believe me when I say that nobody cares that my father is white. I am a black woman…have always been and will always be. And extremely proud of that.
I say this to all of you are in the MATTRIX that racism does not exist!! You must be of the MTV generation ….therefore to attempt to provide you with accelerated understanding of what the TRUTH is…would be wasted.
I am from Austin where Reggie went to college (University of Texas); I have been told that he dated only black girls all throughout those years…just throws me that once he made it, he decided to share his wealth with a woman of another race….Did he all of sudden become too good??
@rene if you still around WHO is in your gravi?
@Cinderella and LaTechGrad02. Exactly! I lived in Richmond too. I saw it all the time. I also know several Black women who are are married to non-Black men.
Well i’m from Jersey and i’m currently living in Maryland. Back in Jersey i’ve seen alot of black women date hispanic men and white men. I’m in Maryland now and in the area I live all you see in black women with ALL different races. I myself am married to a filipino man(a tall fine 6’2 one at that with an amazing body lol)…so yes men of different races are checking for black women.
@ Daisy
Bill Maher is very open about loving his bachelor life and has admitted that he does not wanna get married. All of his relationships (black or white) are simply for the time being.
For a guy like him, its like “why not date her, its not like I will marry her” Just sayin’
I think this is an endless debate.
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As are MOST debates on here…
I’ve never dated outside my race…but that’s not to say that I wouldn’t. AND my preference is to marry a BROTHA!!!!
@Ggouch
Thanks for the welcome!
So because a black man chooses to date a different race it means he doesn’t value his own? I just don’t understand why people can’t love whoever they feel like without being under seige. In Jamaica, our motto is “Out of Many One People”…I learned to love people for WHO THEY ARE..NOT WHAT COLOR THEIR SKIN IS.
When MLK marched and gave his speech…Do you think he envisioned a world where blacks only dated blacks and whites only dated whites? If so, why don’t we just go back to segregated schools and restaurants etc…
And for all those commenting, has any black man ever told you they don’t want to date you because you’re black? #no shade…just asking I just want to understand where this is all coming from.
@ggouch I don’t think anyone says that racism doesn’t exist it’s just that most of us are not held back by this notion. My father has always taught me to live my life and never let anyone hold me back because of the color of my skin and don’t discriminate against others because of theirs.
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ggouch Says:
relationships with a Cambodian, White, Black, Puerto Rican and Sudanese men.
______________________________________________________
REALLY? culturally they choose to “MARRY” one of their own!! Best believe that culturally, their temporary liberation is done behind the backs of family and their own community acceptance.
Now as for this here bullshis…get ya weight up ma cause out of all of the different cultures that I dated the only one unwilling to take me home to momma was one of the Black men (in ma diddy voice) *take that*
And incase you’re apart of the reading *isn’t* fundamental club I married a white man…
@ Daisy….lol…That’s my future husband Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley. **runs out the door before VIBaby comes in to fight me for him**
@LaTech, In military towns like the Norfolk, VA beach area you will see a lot more interracial couples and families then in other places.
kcicero Says:
Black women have a small dating pool because they RESTRICT themselves to a small dating pool. Getting upset about Black men that don’t give a damn about me was never my forte. I’m not LSLH and have never had a problem with men period…and I chose to fall in LOVE with a white man or the “devil” as some of you would call him that is more socially aware than 99.9% of the people on this planet.
We Black women need to stop riding or dying for Black men and K.I.P on to the next one That is all…
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ooo i said the same thing about to my friend wen that study about single black women came out. Many black women waiting on a black man…I’m just waiting on a man lol
@daisy
How do you decipher a PR or Dominican man all other Latin men?
Latin people come in all shades. I’m just curious how you would be able to tell a pr man from a Mexican or a Dominican from a Cuban?
I am only attracted to black/PR/Dominican men plain and simple. I could care less if somebody wants to date outside their race (male or female) as long as they DO NOT put down their own race in the process.
*******
Thats all i say too
@Rene oh ok I would have never guessed that
@starr and KC I am waiting on a man I am attracted to and that happens to be black/latino but I dont complain when brothers step outside their race that is on them. I am just not attracted to YT men and I dont get hit on by them anyway so it aint like they knocking down my door either
Chica….Kcicero!! Get my weight up? BOI WHO?….. I laugh at your attempt to make this personal…which is why it will now take a turn from INTELLIGENT debate to something else. don’t do it babe…don’t come for me in that manner……Everyone knows….”You can GET IT”…
@Hermosa by asking
I say PR/Dominican because of spending summers in NY. I do see some cute Cubans in MIA and I know they arent the only latino men.
@kcicero
“Now as for this here bullshis…get ya weight up ma cause out of all of the different cultures that I dated the only one unwilling to take me home to momma was one of the Black men”
How about this is what happened to me while I lived in PR. My high school boyfriend’s mom would not accept me in her home because I was a negrita (black girl). Now keep in mind both of us were 100% Puerto Rican (whatever that means since we are all mixed). My own did not want me because I was a brown girl. (I am darker than most of my black friends
)
But my husbands country bumpkin Texas family accepted me for the woman that I am not the skin I wear
Aren’t there black men(hispanic etc. )who are pro black(or their race) but only like a light skin or dark skin person in their race….is it okay that they are pro black(dating inside their race)…to me No that doesn’t make it right…At the end of the day what we want to believe in we will believe in….But love has no boundaries or color IMO…
How do you decipher a PR or Dominican man all other Latin men?
Latin people come in all shades. I’m just curious how you would be able to tell a pr man from a Mexican or a Dominican from a Cuban?
I know you didn’t ask me…but i’m gonna answer anyway..lol
Dominicans are of African descents, so are most PR
Mexicans are from Indian descent (Aztecs, Mayans, etc..)
Cubans, (Cuba is my second home besides Jamaica) are all mixed up. Some are dark, some look white.
I hope I helped
Cinderella Says:
@LaTech, In military towns like the Norfolk, VA beach area you will see a lot more interracial couples and families then in other places.
I agree, I live in that area and all I see is interracial couples..
@missy
I actually have some issues with SOME(i don’t want to generalize) black men……
I say this to all of you are in the MATTRIX that racism does not exist!! You must be of the MTV generation ….therefore to attempt to provide you with accelerated understanding of what the TRUTH is…would be wasted.
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Admittedly, I haven’t the time to read alllllllll the comments. BUT I NEVER meant to imply, NOR do I believe for one minute racism does not exist. I just think folks can love whomever they choose.
If the issue is about Essence choosing to put RB on the cover…when he’s not dating a sistah and it’s a LOVE/RELATIONSHIP theme & yall think its sending the wrong message…I STILL SAY IT’S A MOOT POINT. Hell Steve Harvey (blk man, married to a blk woman) was just on the cover.
RB is a MAN, he is in LOVE & he is in a RELATIONSHIP…he’s just on the cover. I’m sure other men’s preferences are highlighted in the issue as well…aren’t men’s opinions of relationships in EVERY issue (I haven’t read Essence in a minute).
@rene and that is another reason I say PR or Dominicans cause I knew that lil history note as well
@missy
I actually have some issues with SOME(i don’t want to generalize) lightskin black men……
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edit*
@ggouch u made it personal hun AND ur threats don’t scare me…me long time poster and I can hold me own…
Exactly why I have to take self inflicted breaks from this blog, people one to get personal and then have the Becky “dear caught in the headlights syndrome” – “But what I say?”
@Daisy You will find him, if you haven’t already *wink* *wink* Just stay steadfast in your faith and the most High will send you a God fearing man when the time is right
@rene
I’m from PR and my fam is always kidding around that my mom has a bag of skittles for childrens. When people look at us w/o knowing us we look:one black, one indian/black, one arabic, and one white.
My two sisters are half Jordanian so that put a twist in her kids melanin.
@Rene
uhhhh, I know all my Latin history honey. I am Latina. And your are fooling your self if you actually can decipher a Latin men.
I’m Mexican so I know that my backround is Indian European and African. Just like puerto Rico Cuba Dominican republic and alot of central America.
I can’t tell latin men apart and I’m been around them all my life.
GG holding it down in here…Lovely too!
I don’t give a damn what year it iz
whyte women can take black men chew them up and spit them out, send them to jail, kill their futures over wack azz rape charges that cause the WHITE judge and jury to throw the BOOK at them, pull kobe bryants, take them to the bank for all they got and they are still considered the creme of the crop huh? Well I don’t have a problem with that….keep dem h-O-E-S, but no I don’t like it, AND NO I never will, because I would rather date a black man and continue the BLACK RACE, don’t try to make me feel less supportive of MLK for helping us get respect as human beings, so that we can eat in a resturant, so that we can attend college, own a house, etc…all the shyt he fought for….not the ability to DATE other races, because other races hated us which was the reason for the MARCH in the first place! MLK married a respectable black woman….and he LOVE his people so that has nothing to do with Reggie Bush dating a KIM KHARDASION.
@ Texa that’s crazy, isn’t it?! I think that self-hate is even worse than racism, it really ticks me off
I remember growing up all I had a preference for were light skin black men.. But as I grew and got out in the world my preference has grown to include other skin tones as well as other ethnicities.
I have men in my family (the majority) that prefer light skin women, and it is their preference. I am not going to go crazy because that is what they prefer. That is their preference, so be it…
I have asked a lot of men I know why they are more attracted to the LSLH and the most of them have said because they don’t want their kids to have nappy hair. What made me laugh is one of them had a kid that ended up with coarse nappy hair…
@Tex
exactly! I always get confused for italian my sister gets confused for puerto rican and some people swear my step father is black.
If you can decipher Latin men, then I need your crystal ball!
starr Says:
@missy
I actually have some issues with SOME(i don’t want to generalize) lightskin black men……
__________________________-
I also have issues with some light skin boys…..but that doesn’t stop me from being attracted to some of them
My little bro who is 12…..doesn’t like dark skin black girls….My bro is lighter than me and my other siblings(he is about T.I color but a little lighter)..but we tell him that he can like w/e he wants.as long as he doesn’t degrade darker skin women ……
Hmmmm…I still love me some Reggie! He need to kim alone…not becuz she white but cuz she a h*e!
How much sense does it make to demand that men want you? None
@ Krysi google the poor people’s movement and MLK, he cared about all races of people and towards the end of his life realized that poverty was enemy number one.
Also many people of other races including White and Jewish people fought and died along side us for our freedom vis-a-vis John Brown. We shouldn’t generalize a whole group of people.
@kcicero… Girl, I was sooo confused when I left nice diverse Paterson, NJ for Puerto Rico at 11 y.o. I had never had to deal with out right racism until I moved to the mother-island
I was like “how the hell these people so stupid, aren’t we all Puerto Rican?” When I joined the Army at 17 I was again among people that didn’t give a dang about race. The Army (for me) was and is the best diverse group to be around, even if the diversity is forced, it still makes people come together regardless of race.
rjk8 Says:
How much sense does it make to demand that men want you? None
_________________-
Dang folks are all touchy touch feely feely or in the words of Kanye oh they so sensative
LOL @ Daisy
@Daisy
Something tells me that was Sandra’s point in posting this
she is a ish starting mofo ain’t she, that wascally wabbit.
I guess it just hit home. I’s sowwy…
I’ve said what Im going to say…and that is all….no need for anything else.
@Tex I am good nobody came for me when I aint send for them
I like a healthy debate minus the name calling but again I forgot where I was and I disgressed gotta stop doing that
We have “snow” in the A
I know I know its not going to stick and it doesnt count!
@Hermosa
I wasn’t trying to imply any of those descriptions as a rule. Obviously a lot of latin people are mixed with different races. I was just saying that was what I had noticed. And I may not be latino..but I’m from the Caribbean and have been to all those places…more than once.
@Krysi J
I definitely was not trying to make anybody feel less than…MLK fought for EQUALITY and FREEDOM… and yes that includes the freedom to date whoever you choose! saying that blacks should only date blacks is the same thing as those wackass KKK people saying that whites shouldn’t date outside their race…It’s reverse racism…yes white people do effed up stuff…so do black people…more blacks kill each other than white people killing us…more black people doing each other dirty than white people doing us. A black woman is just as quick to take a brotha to the bank…**cough Kellis cough**… People are just people man…that’s all i’m saying…can’t we all just get along?
and with that..i’ll be back in an hour…going to meet my Black Southern fiance for lunch..just in case anybody wondered…lol
#80
rjk8 Says:
How much sense does it make to demand that men want you? None
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I can only speak for myself but I am not demanding that men want me or other black women. I am simply not supporting the men that do not want women that look like me.
How much sense does it make to demand that men want you? None
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I agree, but I don’t have a problem with attracting black men….I just hate to see black men dating whyte women…thats just me. Maybe its because I know their whyte families will never truthfully except them, and they will always seem them as less of a human being or classless individuals that they’ll let pass for the time being because they have money, or their good at basketball, or football or track as soon as they step over the line whyte people will DEVOUR them. What could ever be attractive about people with those intentions or people whose family see you in that way….I just don’t like it.
I wasnt even going to comment on this bullshyt up in here but @ Miss RENEGADE I SEE YOU! Dont make us fall out ok…any additional comments regarding ma boo will result in
.
Krysi J Says:
GG holding it down in here…Lovely too!
I don’t give a damn what year it iz
whyte women can take black men chew them up and spit them out, send them to jail, kill their futures over wack azz rape charges that cause the WHITE judge and jury to throw the BOOK at them, pull kobe bryants, take them to the bank for all they got and they are still considered the creme of the crop huh? Well I don’t have a problem with that….keep dem h-O-E-S, but no I don’t like it, AND NO I never will, because I would rather date a black man and continue the BLACK RACE, don’t try to make me feel less supportive of MLK for helping us get respect as human beings, so that we can eat in a resturant, so that we can attend college, own a house, etc…all the shyt he fought for….not the ability to DATE other races, because other races hated us which was the reason for the MARCH in the first place! MLK married a respectable black woman….and he LOVE his people so that has nothing to do with Reggie Bush dating a KIM KHARDASION.
GURL YOU BETTA
I was wondering…..Is Kim K white?
She looks Arab or Indian or something to me….
WHO GIVES A FLYING FUG
I HAVE MY OWN BLACK MAN
I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT CHICK AND WHO SHE FUGGIN
WHEN YOU GOT YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MEDDLE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S
REGGIE ISN’T THE LAST BLACK MAN ALIVE-AND ANY WOMAN WHO WANTS A MAN AND GOT HER SHIAT TOGETHER CAN AND WILL GET A GOOD BLACK MAN-IF YOU GOT YOUR STUFF TOGETHER AND HE HASN’T COME THAT BECAUSE GOD IS PREPARING HIM AND GETTING HIM RIGHT FOR YOU-WAIT ON HIM HE’S COMING AND NEVER EVER SETTLE FOR LESS
I’M TIRED OF THIS OLD BLACK/WHITE/OTHER MESS-HE CAN DATE WHOMEVER HE CHOOSES AND SO CAN SHE
AND IN MY OPINION NO BLACK WOMAN WANTS A PITY DATE OR A MAN WHO DOESN’T WANT OR IS NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM-AND REGGIE IS IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP SO HE’S NOT AVAILABLE TO DATE ANY HOW
SO AGAIN WHY IS THIS A DISCUSSION……STATIN MY OPINION AND KEEPING IT MOVIN IT’S A WASTE OF TIME TO DEBATE OVER MEANINGLESS SHIAT
She looks Arab or Indian or something to me….
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don’t they consider US all black!! Mixed race or not, biggest example Obama = white and black but he is still the FIRST african american president.
I don’t like Essence. They have systematically drifted away from real blackness. I agree with the blogger 110%. When I see a black man that only dates white women, I’m so not attracted to him.
Why didn’t they put his ass on an Armenian magazine. You know why because those ppl would lose their minds and call Bush and all other blacks the N word in a heart beat.I live in L.A. and I can tell you the Armenians are not that culturally evolved, unless you got money.
Cause you can, doesn’t mean you oughta Essence!!!!!!!!!!!
@Tzy, She’s Armenian (sp)
The Dashes are Armenian
Oh LaTech, you beat me to it!@ :lolol:
@Try, lol, I was over here having a Jeopardy moment with the spelling.
@intense
Reggie Bush among others should not be on the cover of ANY magazine that targets beautiful black women.
He and others perfers other races put them on the cover of
vanity fair, people, etc
My take on the whole black man/white woman is this….
You can date who you want, just dont tear us down in the process. I see so many black men who struggle to become successful, be it professional sports, lawyer, dr…whatever. They have a black woman by their side the whole time, working two and three jobs to help them realize their vision, even when other naysayers are saying girl you should leave. As soon as some black men reach the level of success they wanted they are too good for us, they feel they have to get a white woman, or now the new white woman is actually an asian woman.
Thats where I have an issue. We are used and expected to hold it down when our men have nothing…but when they make something of themselves and we expect our due, such as marriage or just being loved and respected if we have the ring then we are gold-diggers, angry, pushy, bossy, b****Y and other less than positive names.
Thas is so wrong to me. If you are attracted to someone outside of your race more power to you, but dont degrade your own in the process…also some black men date white women because they feel they are “sticking” it to the man. That is also wrong.
Sorry for the long rant thats all over the place.
Please know that I am one of few posters that may joke a lot, but when it comes to real debates I don’t make things personal on here. I do speak up on what I stand for and what I stand against. If someone believes that I am directly attacking them…I don’t mind making amends. As I read through my post!! There is nothing offensive said about you or your opinion. W/your INTENSE AZZ
I am going to try and stay in the frame of mind that we are adults….so Hold your own by all means. I’m not here to change your opinion or minimize your experience. But I am not going to change my opinion cause you don’t like it…Where would I be if that could be done so easily.
One the part of your post that I captured…is what I choose to speak up on…could care less if you married 3 white men…THAT is not the TOPIC on the table…so keep up with me
If you were born in the 80’s 90’s you are of the MTV generation and typically do not have a relatable experience when it comes to racism. So I stand behind that statement.
Two, culturally, the nationality in which you listed do not traditionally “MARRY” outside their RACE. It is not a typical practice. I stand behind that statement. It is a fact…check your census.
To Renegade: No shade taken. Because a black man chooses to date a different race…consistently or without regard to black women, yes….I question his value in the black family structure..YES. I am in a relationship with black man and no I have never had a black man tell me he didn’t want to date me personally because of my race. This is where this is coming from….…Reggie BUSH is not a representation of Black Relationships that is the first issue. I see a growing trend of BLACK MEN preferring to not be with BLACK WOMEN…and their reasons are not always due to “WHAT THE WORLD NEEDs NOW IS LOVE” …it is origin is typically due to a superficial concept and social status and this makes me uncomfortable. I seek to understand….WHY they don’t. I seek to understand…What is wrong… AND I am one that ponders what will happen to the BLACK race as a whole if we continue to deviate from our own.
So, because I am black women that don’t revel in the idea of black men choosing OTHERS over one of their own…I’m a racist? I have self hate? Let me counter by saying….on the contrary….I am without hesitation a promoter of my race, without lowering the value of other races. I am a supporter of our men, our cultures and all things that hold us COHESSIVELY together. I choose not to be a part and will SPEAK AGAINST the e diluting or the extinction of those things that don’t represent me.
Correction: I choose not to be a part and will SPEAK AGAINST the diluting or the extinction of those things that represent me.
My son’s grandfather served 17 YEARS IN PRISON for RAPING a white gurl he had been dating for months….he was 20 years old when he went….he left behind to small children by a black women who didn’t see his face again until he was 37 years old. I think that is why his son will never date a white women nor has he ever had the desire to…..
I think a lot of you are making up excuses to be nasty and lay up with anything…Reggie too. If you a freak just say you a freak, don’t confuse it with love and being versatile and we are the world rainbow coalition.
Bottom Line:
Black Men are too stupid to understand that they are slowly but showly being phased out of existence.
Do the math: In say about 30 years from now, there will be a whole generation of “Black” individuals with white mothers, then another 30 years from then, a generation with white mothers and mixed fathers.
Black Men and Women will be totally wiped out.
Bottom Line-
Black Men are too stupid to understand that they are slowly but showly being phased out of existence.
Do the math: In say about 30 years from now, there will be a whole generation of “Black” individuals with white mothers, then another 30 years from then, a generation with white mothers and mixed fathers.
Black Men and Women will be totally wiped out.
Ladies,
Do not let who Reggie is dating validate your self-worth! He does nothing for you. Whether he dated outside or inside, you should still feel in your heart, beautiful and worthy of good love. Yes, there are double standards. To that I say, EFF IT!! Who cares?! LOVE YOURSELVES and please do NOT feel discouraged about finding true love. Go on and live your lives. Do laugh and love. But DON’T let the fact that Reggie is dating a woman who isn’t black determine how you see and love yourself. Whatever his choices are, HE knows he chose one of the most shallow and materialistic individuals,but guess what? Don’t worry about HIM problem; Let HIM deal with it. There are still some wonderful straight black men out here. Trust! I don’t care what CNN tells you (or whoever hosted that special on 20/20). Pray on it and live your lives.
WOW! All most of these comments. Readtheblog & ggouch, I completely agree with your comments.
I feel sorry for those that don’t understand that even though slavery ended, and this is not the 1950s, the same shyt is still going on, AT AN ALL TIME HIGH. The reason black women and black men are at odds is because that was the fuggin plan from DAY ONE! Do any of you realize how powerful black love is?? That’s why there has been a serious campaign to break up the black family, and they have succeeded for the most part. OMFG. Some of you have the “Willie Lynch” chip buried so deep in your minds, til you can’t see or understand the truth when it’s laid before you.
Even through slavery and the civil rights movement, we were our strongest when we were TOGETHER. Dummies are on that “melting pot” shyt, and don’t realize that mentality is why we are in this situation of disarray in the first place. Ummm…HELLO!! It’s not racist to prefer your own people. Stop letting the media dictate to you how you should think and feel. Can anybody seriously take a step back and see WTF is really going on?? WAKE UP!!
Black Men running behind white women aint gonna solve nothing.
Don’t believe me, but they will find out that the truth is the truth.
Unfortunately, it will be too late then.
Black Men and Women will be totally wiped out.
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White men playing chess, black men still stuck on tic-tac-toe
Yall Black Men better wake up fast.
I don’t care how a black women acts, yall black men better stick with your own.
This aint checkers, its chess.
ReadTheBlog Says:
I think a lot of you are making up excuses to be nasty and lay up with anything…Reggie too. If you a freak just say you a freak, don’t confuse it with love and being versatile and we are the world rainbow coalition.
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Dayum homie! :lolol:
Correct me if I am wrong but I thought the last female that reggie dated before kim was african american. I think two women, so I do not know where some black women are getting at he doesnt like black women.
Can anybody seriously take a step back and see WTF is really going on?? WAKE UP!!
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I see it ALL….they started with framing our men and throwing them in jail, then they put drugs in our neighborhoods, as the community got stronger so did they and if we weren’t responding by the masses they took it a step further and attempted to exterminate…with AIDS/HIV….then they attempted to take the mind of our children with the images the projected on television making this and that cool….when we know better!! I was born in 81, but GOD knows Im thankful everyday I was raised by my grandmother ….I may not be complete, but I see things for what they are, and I don’t allow people to sugarcoat shyt and feed it to me like its good.
I personally do not care what race a black man dates. But as some have mentioned here, do not bash in the process. Do not say that you do not like dating black women because of A, B, C and D. Just like men continuously tell black women that we need to stop holding grudges with ALL black men, then black men need not put all black women in that “ignant” category. Resepct your black women because you most definitely came from one. And I bet half the black men who sit there and click clack on about how bitter and ignorant black women are would get smacked soo bad by their mothers who raised them with a black woman attitude.
The problem I do have with other female races, and this depends on how they were raised, is that they are too submissive. They let their men do any thing and say anything to them resulting in a mental and physical breakdown. White woman let their men do anything to them and then run and try and seek help or END UP DEAD. I have met some gutta white girls so don’t get me wrong. But I believe that nothing is stronger than a black woman. Yes, some black women have become slaves to the media and try to be an imagination that the media tries to change who we are, those are women long gone and lost. But there are quite a few beautiful, strong, willing and successful black women in this country.
I do not and will not let a man run my life even in marriage. We are a team, I will let him be a man when needs be but in the end nothing will go past me unless it is discussed. This who shyt of men running the home is soo fuckin 50’s. This is not how things should go. We let men run our homes and look what happens foreclosures, they cheat, they dont care about the kids and soo much more. A real black man will love a real black woman that can take care of herself with or without him and any black man who doesnt want a woman like that needs to go seek the weaker races.
GGouch, RTB, et al –
Bravo!!!
A real black man will love a real black woman that can take care of herself with or without him and any black man who doesnt want a woman like that needs to go seek the weaker races.
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AND THAT IS ALL….THANK YOU CRIS…
have dem H-O-E-s, by all means..enjoy.
So…after reading all these comments..Krysi J said something that made me realize why my opinion differs from hers as well as GGouch and RTB
I didn’t grow up here, therefore I wasn’t raised with the notion of “blackness”. I am mixed with several races…My grandfathers from China, grandmother from India but half black, the other is black. I was taught to embrace all my cultural heritages…I was never seen as this one race…just a person with a diverse culture.
When I moved here it was startling to see that you had to check a freaking box to categorize yourself. You are forced to identify with one thing. If you look black, that’s what you are whether or not you’re mixed with indian, white, chinese..whatever the case. I understand people base their opinions on their experiences, but you can’t let a bad experience dictate how you live your life, you might miss out. What if there was a white (or latino or chinese etc) man out there who adores you for exactly the way you are, who wanted to treat you like the queen you are…you wouldn’t give him the time of day because of skin color?
So, that being said…I don’t agree with a black man dating a outside his race because he feels that another race is superior. That’s not what i’m saying at all. I’m just saying if a guy wants to date outside his race, he should be able to without people saying he has self-hatred issues, or he doesn’t value black women.
Do I think racism doesn’t exist? Of course not. Hell..I live in GA…my mother lives in NE GA where they fly confederate flags and have Klan meetings. I’ve been called a nigger..and I don’t even look black…i’ve been mistreated by the police. So don’t think I live in a fairy tale where nothing bad ever happens.
All I’m saying is that if two people honestly love each other, why should it matter if they’re from two different races? If my grandfathers decided to only date chinese women, I wouldn’t be here…and that same example goes for alot of us.
I just think people are people…The white man is not the enemy…the devil is…evil comes in all colors. All white people aren’t bad and all black people aren’t good
we are all equal in God’s sight…why can’t we treat each other as such?
*just walking in*
I didn’t read the above comments so excuse me if I repeat something somebody may have said.
I mean didn’t he date a black woman before he dated Kim? Even if he didn’t, everyone has their preference. I never heard Reggie talk like i.e. Taye Diggs, putting down black women, saying he won’t date a black woman because of x, y, and z. I see no problem with Reggie being on the cover, but Essence’s cheap azz should’ve at least got a new photo for the cover IMO. Reggie’s eye candy and that’s all.
@Redeemed777 Says:
Bottom Line- Black Men are too stupid to understand that they are slowly but showly being phased out of existence.
Do the math: In say about 30 years from now, there will be a whole generation of “Black” individuals with white mothers, then another 30 years from then, a generation with white mothers and mixed fathers. Black Men and Women will be totally wiped out.
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lmao That might be one of the silliest comments I’ve seen in a while. Interracial babies have been born in this country for hundreds of years. As a matter of fact, I think during slavery there were more mixed babies being born than there are being born now! The only difference is that its the white women having the babies. Hell an entire race (Puerto Ricans) was created from interracial sex.
@Redeemed- you are so correct. I do research and that is one of the reasons egypt pretends to be more white than black. The pharaohs started marrying the light skinned egyptian women and voila, they screwed themselves out of recognition and history. It won’t be funny for long.
you wouldn’t give him the time of day because of skin color?
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I don’t have a problem with other races….but NO i don’t appreciate black men dating whyte women….of all people…HELL NO!….I didn’t say I had a problem with black men dating someone with mixed races/black…or usually considered a LSLH….as long as she’s BLACK…continue THE BLACK RACE….and take pride in it, thats it!
lmao That might be one of the silliest comments I’ve seen in a while. Interracial babies have been born in this country for hundreds of years. As a matter of fact, Hell an entire race (Puerto Ricans) was created from interracial sex.___________________________________________________
@rjk8, you think @Redeemed777 statement is silly? YET you write:_________________________________ I think during slavery there were more mixed babies being born than there are being born now! The only difference is that its the white women having the babies._____________RAPE!! the DIFFERENCE was RAPE!! are you insane? Do you even understand the argument you’re trying to make here
@ggouch
I understand exactly what the argument that I made. She stated that the black race was to being “phased out of existence”. And I addressed that point only. Mixed babies is not something new it has been going on for hundreds of years and will continue to go on. My argument to her was that we existed then and we exist now.
Okay…let me say this and qualify the statemnt by adding that I don’t mean anything disrespectful!! That is exactly why you and others may very well have a lack of understanding of where I and some others are coming from…because you are of mixed descent, you don’t have the same tangible experiences. There will be history that you will not actively seek to know…because it doesn’t affect you.
Believe it or not my biological father is biracial B&W.
I don’t know a white or biracial experience… With the exception of a few waves in my hair….I look and accept proudly that I am a black woman….
We have to stop getting the issue of “Preference”..confused with the fact that…historically going as far back as slavery….our families are under destruction…Some simply want us to seiest to exsist…..Did you know the during the ATLANTA CHild Murders, why the victims were predominantly males?….because it was an attempt to erase our very being.
So understand…when OUR BLACK men and SOME BLACK women want to CONVIENENTLY forget this and ignore this systimatic gencide….I take issue!!! WE are being PHASED out of exsistence…does that statement mean….that I don’t want people of mixed descent to exsist?
I do however want to put the issue on the table…that over looking your own…will one day be to your (black men)own detriment.
I understand exactly what the argument that I made. She stated that the black race was to being “phased out of existence”. And I addressed that point only. Mixed babies is not something new it has been going on for hundreds of years and will continue to go on. My argument to her was that we existed then and we exist now.
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YOU DON’t get it…the RAPE contaminated our RACE…ie PHASE OUT??
If we seperated mixed blacks away from pure blacks….where would our race be?……surely NO WHERE NEAR where it was when we first GOT SHIPPED OVER HERE.
Now we embrace our babies and they found YET ANOTHER WAY TO KEEP US SEPERATED by treating the race of mixed blood better than the pure bloods….NOW YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRSsssss down the road look where we are!!! trying to convince one another that we should date other races…….because BLACK men don’t value black women anymore
nobody sees a pattern at all? anyhoo, it is what it is im done.
bye yall.
Krysi J Says:
YOU DON’t get it…the RAPE contaminated our RACE…ie PHASE OUT??
If we seperated mixed blacks away from pure blacks….where would our race be?……surely NO WHERE NEAR where it was when we first GOT SHIPPED OVER HERE.
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I totally agree. In 50 years, our black race will be no more. Sadly, we will look like a race of light skinned people similar to the mongoloid aboriginal race of Australia.
Who said I was of mixed descent? I sure in the hell didn’t.
What? Are you saying that seven black kids being killed is an attempt to erase the entire black race? The black child murders were committed by a crazy black man.
You’re argument is as stupid as the people who want the poorest black ghettos to remain black, because of some ignorant belief that if the people move out, they will lose their cultural identity. If interracial couples increase, there still will be a black race and if black people move out of the ghetto there still will be a black culture. The white racist say the same thing about the white race. That was the reason for all of the Jim Crow laws and the laws against interracial marriage. Don’t you see. You are no better than the racist who enslaved us and then segregated/ discriminated against us. The love of your race and culture does not have to encompass the disdain of other races or cultures.
@rjk8 – I think she was referring to my post when she was talking about being mixed. Oh and I agree with you 100%
Yes, black men can date whom they want. The issue is the double standard. Black men will date a woman of another race, yet shun, put down, or down right criticize black women of the same ilk. What other race puts down its women like the the black race does? We talk about how people should not see color as long as the color isn’t black.
To say it’s 2010 is irrelevant. Black men have always dated white women (can we say Jack Johnson, boxer in the early 1900s and his affinity for white women). The issue is we as a race are being destroyed from the outside in and from the inside out. If we as blacks don’t stick together, the demise of our race is eminent.
You ask, “What difference does it make whom black men date?” Well, let’s see:
If black men are dating white women, they aren’t procreating thus we will cease as a people.
Where are the white females working on behalf of the countless numbers of brothers in prison (many of whom have been falsely imprisoned), killed, treated unfairly, and many other social issues we as blacks go through on a daily basis. If not us, whom?
GGouch and some others put it very well. The issue is not that sometimes people just happen to meet someone of another race and begin to date and fall in love. The issue is when one decides that their own race is inferior and another is superior. Sometimes it’s subconscious. No matter though, it’s far too common these days. It’s sad. There is a huge difference between preferring to stick with your own race over preferring to go outside of it. Pride and love of self is the difference PREFERENCE makes.
Of course it’s a “to each their own” thing. But I am a black woman, happily married to a wonderful black man and we have beautiful black children.
I have dated men of other races, however, my hope, my preference was to marry a black man. No other man, kind as he may have been, could ever understand my pain, joy, struggles, mindset, viewpoint and life the way my black man does.
Who cares who Reggie dates? I actually like Kim and watch Keeping up with the Kardashians.
Thanks for this article cause I don’t buy Essence, but I will be running to the store to buy that issue. Reggie is so fine!!
Its sad to say but sistertoldja is right. To make matters worse, alot of brothers (athletes) will not date an educated black woman. But will date an uneducated woman of another race. My BF tried to explain to me why this is, but it is still not a good enough reason. He thinks that black man date woman of another race because those women are on his level. (When you make it to the top you need someone who is on top with you). I just can not fully agree with this. I do not mind you dating, living with, or marrying some one of a different race, but be with them because you love them. Not because you like their appearance or think you and that person can make beautiful children.
Read the Blog…. speak that truth!
Krysi J Says:
GG holding it down in here…Lovely too!
with #61, #62, and #80
I don’t give a damn what year it iz
whyte women can take black men chew them up and spit them out, send them to jail, kill their futures over wack azz rape charges that cause the WHITE judge and jury to throw the BOOK at them, pull kobe bryants, take them to the bank for all they got and they are still considered the creme of the crop huh? Well I don’t have a problem with that….keep dem h-O-E-S, but no I don’t like it, AND NO I never will, because I would rather date a black man and continue the BLACK RACE, don’t try to make me feel less supportive of MLK for helping us get respect as human beings, so that we can eat in a resturant, so that we can attend college, own a house, etc…all the shyt he fought for….not the ability to DATE other races, because other races hated us which was the reason for the MARCH in the first place! MLK married a respectable black woman….and he LOVE his people so that has nothing to do with Reggie Bush dating a KIM KHARDASION.
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Honestly, I could care less about Reggie Bush because he is a child to me, but Sista Toldja made some excellent points and just because we are “tired” of the whole black/white issue does not mean it will disappear overnight. Her post was hella relevant.
After viewing most of the comments I noticed that we are always talking about we don’t care about who dates who. We are apparently the only race or cultural group that does not care. Look as many racial/cultural groups around the world. They make it a priority to stay within their group. Black folks are always the ones trying to play nice while everyone else is doing what is best for “their” people. Furthermore, love is not blind…it can see just fine. If it is was so blind why do people turn it on and off based on the situation. I am tired of us further insulting black women for caring about the cultivation of black relationships. Black love is not a sin.
Lmaof!!!!
Black folks are always the ones trying to play nice while everyone else is doing what is best for “their” people.
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EXACTLY….thats what GOT US WHERE WE ARE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Too busy waiting on other people to acknowledge the way that we treat THEM instead of demanding respect like everyone else.