In an interview with ABC’s Barbara Walters, which is set to air on Sunday (Mar. 7), comedienne/actress Monique says the secret to longevity in her marriage is to allow her husband, Sidney Hicks, to stray.
“Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker,” she told Walters. “That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.’ We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”
Unlike many females who get married with unrealistic fantasies of what married life is supposed to be, Mo’Nique knows that a man is going to do what he was put on earth to do; and that is to populate the earth. It’s in the Bible and it goes against nature to expect a man with a healthy sexual appetite to put out for only one female his entire adult life.
Humans are the only species on earth with unrealistic viewpoints on sex. Rather than follow the rules of nature (to be fruitful and multiply) humans follow our hearts and beliefs, which are sometimes inconsistent with nature.
Asking a man not to creep is like asking him not to eat, sleep or breathe. A study shows that men think about sex on average of every 7 minutes. It’s doubtful that he’s thinking about his wife every 7 minutes.
Some people believe that disgraced golfer Tiger Woods would not be under fire for having sex with 20 women outside of his marriage if he hadn’t gotten married in the first place.
Does that mean that it’s okay for a man to violate his marriage vows? Only if the wife agrees with it — as in Mo’Nique and Sidney’s case. If she doesn’t agree, then it’s best to dissolve the marriage and go their separate ways.
Of course, Mo’Nique has a few tricks to keep her hubby from straying, and that includes her infamously unshaven gams.
“He loves the hairy legs,” Mo says, “and if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go.”
She even explains to Walters why she chooses to go au naturel: “I tried shaving one time, and it was so uncomfortable and painful. I said never again would I do that to myself.” Besides, says Mo’Nique, “I’m 42 and I’m very hairy.”
Source: NY Daily News
I’ve been married for awhile now, over 10 years. I am one of those that don’t put anything past a man. If my hubby was to cheat on me I wouldn’t be surprised or devasted,it would hurt but I would have to cross that road when I come to it. lol.
Those legs are just NASTY
talkingwithtami Says:
I’ve been married for awhile now, over 10 years. I am one of those that don’t put anything past a man. If my hubby was to cheat on me I wouldn’t be surprised or devasted,it would hurt but I would have to cross that road when I come to it. lol
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Exactly. I don’t think infidelity is the worst thing that can happen in a marriage. Men are very different from women and have very different views when it comes to sex. Not saying I want my husband to cheat but not saying that I will definitely leave him if he does.
I wouldn’t expect Mo to encourage her man to cheat, but hey that’s her choice.I think having that open communication will make her marriage work tho but as a man, I don’t get the hairy leg fetish lol. Wonder if Sid likes men and women since he likes hairy legs.
I KNOW I WOULD NEVER TRUST HIM SOOOO THAT WOULD MEAN I’D HAVE TO GET THE F$$K OUT OF DODGE. NOTICE THE $$$$ SIGNS…
Humans are the only species on earth with unrealistic viewpoints on sex. Rather than follow the rules of nature (to be fruitful and multiply) humans follow our hearts and beliefs, which are sometimes inconsistent with nature.
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damn sandra, you’re starting to convince me. i’m not with that “be fruitful” sh*t because children cost money. however, animals are not as intelligent as humans and i can’t roll w/hubby while he is out creeping. i think we could just continue to live together or something but we would be in separate bedrooms, no sexual relationship, and i’d be getting my groove on too.
Humans are the only species on earth with unrealistic viewpoints on sex. Rather than follow the rules of nature (to be fruitful and multiply) humans follow our hearts and beliefs, which are sometimes inconsistent with nature
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GOD MADE US SEPERATE FROM ANIMALS FOR A REASON. WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES WHO HAVE THE ABILITY TO DECIDE AND MEDITATE ON MATTERS. WE ARE NOT FROM APES. IF YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR SELF IN THE CATEGORY OF ANIMALS THATS FINE DO YOU BUT MY GOD CLEARLY STATED IN MY VOWS TO MY HUSBAND, WE ARE TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS.
AND MARRIAGE….WAS GODS FIRST ORDAINED ARRANGEMENT IN THE BIBLE..GENESIS BOO…
PLEASE STOP THE MADNESS…
Now that’s an “intelligent woman”! She knows how “Nature” operates and She’s playing the game Right! As far as hair on the legs…..only the greeks hates hair as much as yvonne does. Yvonne79, where you been child?? NOWHERE!
tampa813 Says:
I wouldn’t expect Mo to encourage her man to cheat, but hey that’s her choice.I think having that open communication will make her marriage work tho but as a man, I don’t get the hairy leg fetish lol. Wonder if Sid likes men and women since he likes hairy legs.
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Yep I wondered if he is cheating with both men and women. Her whole statement is so wrong. All men don’t cheat. If she has been friends w/him for over 25 yrs where is the respect. Cheating is a temptation.
I don’t agree with it all because I know several men that do not stray and run around in the streets looking for whatever is open. I’m sure her husband does whatever he wants because she allows that and after all, she married her best friend of 25 years…..why is that? because she figured out that it was best for her to just “settle” for something instead of having nothing at all….chile please…go sit down…no better yet go to the spa and let them remove that mess from your legs.
Morning Everyone,
I don’t think Mo’Nique is saying that it’s ok for him to cheat though. I guess she’s saying that’s not a deal breaker in her marriage. Everyone is different. What is a deal breaker for me, might not be one for you.
@ FREE
THEN THAT WOULD NOT BE MARRIAGE….
@ CHARBEE1
yes how can you live a peaceful life without trust?
the bible didnt make 2 seperate vows for men and woman just one.
thats all from me today…
Good Morning SR Family
The Devil is a Lie #thatisall
If they’ve been friends for 25 years then she knows what he is capable of doing and married him anyway… If he brings home one of those stds’ that keep on giving them would she feel the same way? Stop giving men free passes to cheat.
Did you compare human sexual behavior to animals?!
LOL….Pure comedy
When you were a nurse did you encourage your patients to lick their wounds?
BULLSHYT!!!
She is the reason why jumpoffs will stay in business and keep opening their legs to married men.
I’m not really agreeing with every word that is said. But I can understand that side of it. But not really. It sound stupid.
Quote
“It’s in the Bible and it goes against nature to expect a man with a healthy sexual appetite to put out for only one female his entire adult life.”
But NOT a married man. Adultry is BIGGER than all that in the Bible so I’ll just follow that. That is disgusting for a man be allowed to sleep around then bring his stankin azz home to get in our bed. NOT, I don’t think so Bruh. I wonder what kind of deep self esteem Monique has.
Them legs, is not the business.
@ RachelRachel:
I am a hairy ass woman myself and those legs are NOT the business. Besides, what REAL man wants to rub his leg against something that feels like HIS own leg?!? A woman should look, smell and most importantly feel feminine and those legs are most definitely not!!!
I will say it again…those legs are nasty as hell!!!
I guess Mo. Shaving is not the only way to remove hair from your legs but if she likes it, I love it.
After two failed marriages and I think another stood her up at the wedding, maybe she settled for her bestfriend instead of being alone. Whatever floats her boat
Morning
I am a world traveler and I don’t like hairy legs
I do believe it is a personal matter so if Mo likes it then more power to her but myself and others will speak our .02 on the matter as well (Hey Yvonne *waving*)
As far as marriage goes I want a FAITHFUL hubby yes I do. For those who believe in open marriages or what have you again more power to them but for me and my house we shall SERVE THE LORD AMEN AMEn and AMEN AGAIN
Sorry, I’m not buying that…sex outside the marriage IS a deal breaker, because if your husband caught you with your face down and azz up with some dude getting busy up in you he’d be done!
Then what’s the point of marriage vows.
Only RN I know with a PhD in Psychology……
And the only LESBIAN who is an expert in heterosexual relationships…. :surprised:
@VI, LOL!!
What up Daisy!!!
@Yvonne
right back at you! I stay shaving and getting waxed so I am >>>>>>>>here<<<< with you!
@So offical I asked that question a few wks back. How many men would stay if the woman cheated.
yvonne79 Says:
@ RachelRachel:
I am a hairy ass woman myself and those legs are NOT the business. Besides, what REAL man wants to rub his leg against something that feels like HIS own leg?!? A woman should look, smell and most importantly feel feminine and those legs are most definitely not!!!
I will say it again…those legs are nasty as hell!!!
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@Daisy – Not to say a man won’t stay with a cheating woman, but I don’t know ANY that will.
You are born with hair on your body so how does keeping hair on your legs make you look or feel less like a woman? #noshade either, I’m just asking. I may side eye a woman with a goatie(sp), but hairy legs, not so much.
And I shave my legs too, but only because I can get pale as hell and my hair is BLACK….hair on my legs look like ants..lol
@VI I have always had a issue with hairy legs on a women IF the hair is thick and can be seen. I hate in church when women have hair coming through their stocking/hose YUCK
like I said to each their own but I can’t get w/it at all.
I think Month n Sid make a cute couple though
VIBABY Says:
Only RN I know with a PhD in Psychology……
And the only LESBIAN who is an expert in heterosexual relationships….
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Speechless yet
I wonder if the same rules apply to her? can she cheat and come back and tell him and he act like it is ok…probably not!
@VIBaby:
I can agree, we as women are born with hair on our bodies. If I were to let my hair on grow in, my legs would look like the hairest dude on his best day. I couldn’t imagine a dude willingly rubbing his hands on my legs and they look like that. Hell, I don’t even want to touch that ish myself. In my opinion, all that hair on your legs just doesn’t appear feminine or ladylike to me.
Does that make sense?
@Daisy, I will take “Hail no I wouldn’t stay” for $1000 Alex.
Good morning everybody. While I don’t condone cheating, I don’t think it’s always a deal breaker in a marriage. If this works for Mo’Nique and her husband, then more power to them. Regarding her hairy legs,
I don’t care what anyone says, women should shave/wax their legs and armpits and other hairy places.
There is a difference in stepping out once and having a RELATIONSHIP outside of your marriage. The latter is a deal breaker, think Sanford. If my husband told me another woman is his soulmate….what the heck would I stay for? If you feel someone else is your soulmate and/or you love someone else, why should I stay?
I also agree with the person who stated that there were no separate vows created for men and women.
Dear Mo, If you can cornrow the hair on your legs, it’s time to shave.
ohpretty1 Says:
There is a difference in stepping out once and having a RELATIONSHIP outside of your marriage. The latter is a deal breaker, think Sanford. If my husband told me another woman is his soulmate….what the heck would I stay for? If you feel someone else is your soulmate and/or you love someone else, why should I stay?
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I agree. If that’s your soulmate, free yourself then! Sign these papers and allow me the freedome to find MY soulmate. Ya dig!?!
bigtyme Says:
I wonder if the same rules apply to her? can she cheat and come back and tell him and he act like it is ok…probably not!
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What does he do again? I think most bread winners get away with many things because they control the money.
Monique needs to stop making excuses for not shaving her nasty legs. I bet the women that Sid is cheating with have nice clean shaven legs. how do I know? because there can’t be that many women with legs like that considering no one I know has hairy legs (and I know a lot of people). Maybe that’s why he’s cheating! Get a clue Mo!
I have a friend who doesn’t shave her legs and the men LOVE her. I’m so serious. Yet, I get the :oopssumbroke: vibe from all of them.
A man’s point of view. Her comments are being taken out of context and simplified. Cheating encompasses more than an orgasim with another woman. Cheating really is about his availability and ability to support you emotionally, spritually, intellectully and also phyically. Does he support your dreams and ambitions? Does he make you smile do you enjoy being with him? Can his point of view at times give you a different perspective on an issue? Can he agree to disagree with you without becoming personally offended. Does he come home at night? I think she is saying that if you have a lot of those elements in a relationship and he sleeps with someone else he can and probably is still committed to the marriage. To men sex with someone you don’t care about is really just an orgasim. A man can have sex with a woman outside of his marriage get up take a shower and go home and tell his wife baby I love you mor and more everday and mean it.
I don’t think Mo’nique or any of the others here are saying it’s okay for their husbands to cheat. I think, like myself, these women don’t want it to happen, but feel that if it did then that it wouldn’t automatically put an end to the marital status. Things could be worked out and healed, I’ve seen it happen for others. This is one of those things where you’ll only know what your reaction and action will be if it happens. I certainly hope I’ll never know.
As far as the hair goes, I keep mine shaved because I like the way it looks and feel. WE are actually TAUGHT by family and the media that there is something “wrong” with being au naturel. I don’t know why the fact that she chooses to keep her legs hair means her man must like that and also like men. They ARE HER legs so maybe it’s just what SHE prefers. (shrug)
@so official, i know a couple of guys who have stayed w/their cheating wives. women can be some of the grimeyest (sp) w/their sh*t because i have a girlfriend who ran her husband through the ringer.
many older ladies will tell you they never let a jumpoff ruin their marriage, not back in the day. this is new school thinking because adultery is not new. it’s not that they condoned it, it just (like someone above said) was not a dealbreaker.
I could really care less what she says…The only grounds for divorce in the Bible is adultery…cheating…infidelity…that should tell people that IT’S NOT RIGHT!! a marriage is sacred between a male and female…TWO PEOPLE, not THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, you get my drift…
rjk8 Says:
To men sex with someone you don’t care about is really just an orgasim. A man can have sex with a woman outside of his marriage get up take a shower and go home and tell his wife baby I love you mor and more everday and mean it.
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I respect what you’re saying however is it unrealistic to want a man who is COMPLETELY faithful to you and your marriage? When did it become the norm to tolerate a cheating man just because he “handles” his business when it comes to other dimensions of the relationship? When did it become acceptable for women to deal with this behavior? I’m not asking you per se; just speaking in general.
I’ve dealt with cheating men in the past and I REFUSE to deal with it in my marriage. I’ll be damned if I’m putting in 115% and being COMMITTED and FAITHFUL to you and dude has free reign to do whatever he wants to do and smooths it all over with a simple ” I love you”? GTFOH
@ms.truth, no one is saying adultery is right. God has given free will so it’s up to the individual. Just because the church says it’s cool to divorce if cheating occurs doesn’t mean they HAVE to get a divorce.
~LovLi~ Says: WE are actually TAUGHT by family and the media that there is something “wrong” with being au naturel.
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i’m hairy and my hubby doesn’t mind. i go way out of my way to hide it and he shakes his head sometimes at the lengths i go to. i really don’t think he would care either if i went out like that. i keep it real at home, esp this time of year, but i personally couldn’t do it in public.
@LovLi…I’m not saying people HAVE to get a divorce…I’m just saying that if adultery is the only case that the Bible allows for divorce, then that should tell us that God really has a problem with cheating and views marriage as something sacred between 2 people.
i love it when men speak and women don’t listen but then wonder what went wrong….
Monique needs to go SAT down somewhere! Why get married in the first place! I know people aren’t perfect, but when you give them free reign to destruction, that’s crazy. Her hubby cheating can open up other doors. STDs, children, deranged women ANYTHING! I think dude is gay anyway. Monique worships him to the point it’s so damn scary. I get so sick of her referencing her “gay boy”. I think she settled for him, after failed relationships. She was probably the fat girl who was his friend, all the while hoping he noticed her. I don’t believe God intended for marriage to be a mockery, as folks have made it!
Sid look like he loves some hairy balls too, i dont’ care what nobody says cheating is a sign of disrespect to the family, marriage, children everything and if a man don’t want to be with you and only u tell him to get to stepping ladies step your game up keep it tight and fresh and these old tired azz hoes won’t even bother!!! i agree somewhat with auntie i mean it is a part of an animalistic nature to procreate however that is when we fall above the level of animals God gave us knowledge and reasoning so if a man CHOOSES to be monogamous then so be it if not then the female can choose to find someone who will be.
@Free while I like hearing/listening to a mans point of view that doesnt mean I will scarifce my morals and values and co sign what they said. If I agree with a man then I will
otherwise I will take it as just another opinion I didnt agree with 
I think BOTH men and women need to listen to each other not just women listening to men.
@nevasanevva Sid is a producer on her show.
to me that says “I’m not worthy enough for a man to be faithful to me and me only!” I’m no fool by no means so I know there’s always a chance it could happen but you can’t continue to say you love me and you’re puttin God firsst if you have a side piece!
many older ladies will tell you they never let a jumpoff ruin their marriage, not back in the day. this is new school thinking because adultery is not new. it’s not that they condoned it, it just (like someone above said) was not a dealbreaker.
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I totally get what you’re saying here, but at the same time a lot of older women dissappoint me. Who cares if you’ve been married 50 years but Mr. Charlie has another FAMILY that you know about around the corner. And/or, you’re sitting front row at a funeral and in walks the spitting image of Mr. Charlie @ 30 that you didn’t know about. Upholding his blatant disrespect does not make you a good woman/wife contrary to some old school beliefs. Being disrespected does not fall under “for better or for worse” IMO.
Well maybe I know some “freaks of nature” because not only do I have a guy who would commit suicide before he cheated on me but I have friends of all races who have found men who are faithful to them and they are faithful to their husbands
Marriage does work!! Why did our grandmothers stay married for 50 years and our generation has a 50% divorce rate?
Because they had deeper faith, stronger communities because they had to stick together and because they knew not to confuse lust with love
I thank God for my husband every day
I sooooooo do not like Mo’ Nique that is all..
@53
You betta preach.
When you make a committment to someone it means you have done your dirt and are ready to spend the rest of you life with that person by your side. Marriage is not a fly by night thing and when you make that committment to someone it should not be taken lightly, it is already hard enough with money issues and children, why make it harder by adding another person.
It is also true that old school women made sure the jump offs knew their place and they didn’t take their vows lightly. They fought for and kept what was theirs. Nowadays men treat jump offs like the wifey so they get out of line and come at the wife disrespectfully and that is probably one of the reasons why cheating is so accepted, because women accept jump off status instead of wanting and demanding more. I think that jump off’s haven’t had a good beat down in a while to know that wifey’s in charge and once they do then things will go back to normal. (Not to advocate violence, but they need to be taught a lesson)
We as women need to demand more than just “cheating is ok” we need to demand respect and respect ourselves and then mess like this won’t happen. Cheating is not ok, it is not normal and it should not be accepted by someone as successful, beautiful and educated by Mo, but first she has to set boundaries and abide by them.
…you can’t continue to say you love me and you’re puttin God firsst if you have a side piece!
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Okay BrownSugaPoet #67, that I agree with. From my viewpoint I was saying if a person makes the mistake once. NOT just having someone else and me too. NOT doing it on the regular and saying “Oops, I Cheated Again”. My marriage is for the two of us, not “You, Me and He” (or Her). I meant as a mistake that was made and won’t happen again. I meant a renewing of the flesh that says, “I am sorry I succumbed to this and will work hard to keep my eyes open so that I’ll never disrespect my God or my spouse again.”
I don’t shave my legs in the winter, and will wear boots long skirts to church until it warms up so Mo’s legs don’t bother me per say, but the poster saying other countries veiw things different is not looking at the big picture…in France they don’t believe in deorderant, in Bahrain they only bathe 2x’s a month and use no deorderant so should we adapt those customs too?
I think not.
LuvMySailor Says:
Marriage does work!! Why did our grandmothers stay married for 50 years and our generation has a 50% divorce rate?
Because they had deeper faith, stronger communities because they had to stick together and because they knew not to confuse lust with love
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And because our grandmothers accepted the fact that a man is going to be a man and he is going to creep. Just because a man cheats does not devalue You as a woman.
@SouthernPrincess Says:
Did you compare human sexual behavior to animals?!
LOL….Pure comedy
When you were a nurse did you encourage your patients to lick their wounds?
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Too funny!
Cariblife – remember per Christianity (if thats your thing) you aren’t supposed to have sex until your married. Is it really realistic for a man (or a woman) to only have sex with one person? I can successful not cheat on my wife because I did my dirt like you mentioned above. But what about those that actually follow what God says?
@SouthernPrincess Says:
Did you compare human sexual behavior to animals?!
LOL….Pure comedy
When you were a nurse did you encourage your patients to lick their wounds?
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Do you have sex doggy style?
Sandra – do you believe woman aren’t programmed to cheat?
Do you have sex doggy style?
(shaking head)……….
Cheating ISN’T okay…
Thank goodness me and my guy don’t have that problem…
Because what’s good for the goose is good for the gander…so there’s NEVER any need to cheat…lie or steal…
Its not the jumpoff that ruins the marriage, its the husband who decided to cheat.
#73 brucebaner1 Says:
Sandra – do you believe woman aren’t programmed to cheat?
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I know you asked Sandra , but I don’t think anyone is “programmed” to cheat. It’s us, all us. We either give in to temptation or grow stronger from resisting it.
Good Topic
To each their own. But Sandra its funny you (and some of you) agree with MoNique. How many times has Sandra said Swizz broke up his home. How many homewreckers has A Keys been called. People were ready to protest her records sells.
OT… While I don’t believe cheating is the end all be all (its not what you do but how you do it) cheating breaks up just as many homes as drugs do. And when their are children involved I think it sends out the wrong message. What’s the point of getting married if you still want to live the single life.
brucebaner1 Says:
Sandra – do you believe woman aren’t programmed to cheat?
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Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant. Women are more emotional than men who see sex as a mechanical function.
uvMySailor Says:
Marriage does work!! Why did our grandmothers stay married for 50 years and our generation has a 50% divorce rate?
Because they had deeper faith, stronger communities because they had to stick together and because they knew not to confuse lust with love
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I know a bunch of older women that settled for gettin their azz beat too but that doesn’t make it right! IMO older women stayed because that’s what they were taught to do because I know a lot of older women that would say “well he married you didn’t he” because they were taught if you’re married and that man is takin care of the household financially you make it work no matter what and just turn the other cheek! What would be the purpose in gettin married if he’s gonna be with other people? We have got to start holdin these men to higher standards!
*blech* if she wants to look like a wilderbeast around about the legs that’s her buisness, but why put them on display?! And I’m a hairy woman myself, but I be damnned.
They’re not their.
& why are ppl so concerned with her hairy legs. She said her husband likes that’s why she doesn’t shave.
@ms.truth Says: I could really care less what she says…The only grounds for divorce in the Bible is adultery…cheating…infidelity…that should tell people that IT’S NOT RIGHT!! a marriage is sacred between a male and female…TWO PEOPLE, not THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, you get my drift
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Maybe that’s because “in the bible men had multiple wives.” Which is something that I do not advocate.
BROWNSUGAPOET Says:
uvMySailor Says:
Marriage does work!! Why did our grandmothers stay married for 50 years and our generation has a 50% divorce rate?
Because they had deeper faith, stronger communities because they had to stick together and because they knew not to confuse lust with love
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I know a bunch of older women that settled for gettin their azz beat too but that doesn’t make it right! IMO older women stayed because that’s what they were taught to do because I know a lot of older women that would say “well he married you didn’t he” because they were taught if you’re married and that man is takin care of the household financially you make it work no matter what and just turn the other cheek! What would be the purpose in gettin married if he’s gonna be with other people? We have got to start holdin these men to higher standards!
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I just wanted to piggy back off of these comments. I am 42 I know many kids I grew up with where the dad died first, the mothers spend 50/11 yrs. with their cheating, disrespecting, abusing husbands and when they died these women were not thinking about aother man. I think back then the women did stay with the husband through it all.
Soooo, if it’s ok to cheat and/or cheating isn’t a deal breaker in your relationship, why get married?! Why stand before GOD and VOW to be faithful, then say it’s OK for your mate to cheat? That makes absolutely no sense!
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant. Women are more emotional than men who see sex as a mechanical function.
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Couldnt agree more with you Sandra.. Men dont view sex the same way women do.. After women have sex, they are laying their dreaming up this relationship they want, in their mind, the relationship has started… In the man’s mind, the relationship just ended.. Unless he trully cares about the woman.. But when they cheat, its nothing but some a.s.s. She’ll never hold his heart.. She’ll never cook his food or share his home… Not saying I agree with it, but…..
I have 1 solution for those hairy legs…VEET! It’ll only take 3 minutes to remove that mess and make yo legs smooth!
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant. Women are more emotional than men who see sex as a mechanical function.
I guess I can see that. I just believe from my own personal perspective, that men cheat because they want to. Its not worth the risk for me, It’s too stressful and the worse case scenario is I could lose my kids.
Not every woman desires to be pregnant or be a mother, and everywoman is not a nurtuter. If people cheat on their mate, they cheat on their mate – they got weak, and let themselseves and likely others down. Everyone is not designed to be faithful, it’s knowing your strength and the consequences of your actions that keep us in control of our urges.
Please don’t compare trifling actions and greed and recklessness with that of animals. Having sex doggy-stle is not a factor, but it was funny
you tossed it in! By the way, did you know that there are some species in nature that actually do mate for life?
Paging Nichelle
Where are you girl.
Monique stated she doesn’t know if he cheats. In reality at least she is being honest with herself. Most (not all) men cheat. Cheating isn’t a problem until you get caught.
@precious1:
Why get married in the first place! I know people aren’t perfect, but when you give them free reign to destruction, that’s crazy. Her hubby cheating can open up other doors. STDs, children, deranged women ANYTHING!
She was probably the fat girl who was his friend, all the while hoping he noticed her. I don’t believe God intended for marriage to be a mockery, as folks have made it!
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Before we got the vows in, I made it know that cheating is a deal-breaker for the same reasons you mentioned. Some fatal attraction type stuff, kids, and more drama than I need in my life and I’m not going to deal with it. My grandparents were married a long time and yes my grandma put up with a LOT…kids, women, and all, but I am NOT my grandmother. Marriage is about sacrifice and if you can’t sacrifice your libido and member to me ONLY, then stay single. There were no objections.
Oh and I don’t buy for a second that they were “best friends”. Friends or acquaintances…okay, but besties…uh no.
FloridaChick81
Couldnt agree more with you Sandra.. Men dont view sex the same way women do.. After women have sex, they are laying their dreaming up this relationship they want, in their mind, the relationship has started… In the man’s mind, the relationship just ended.. Unless he trully cares about the woman.. But when they cheat, its nothing but some a.s.s. She’ll never hold his heart.. She’ll never cook his food or share his home… Not saying I agree with it, but…..
********************************
Great points, but I have a question to the woman in here. Why give it up to men so easy if you believe we aren’t going to be faithful? Even further, why not give it up until the guy REALLY likes you for you and not the sex?
i think if a man VALUES his woman he won’t cheat on her so many men feel like the are forced to marry for whatever reasons, family, money hide the fact they DL that they don’t care i dont think Mo worried about Sid because he getting something out there she can’t give him “The peen””
Man, woman, or dog…cheating should NEVER be ok when married (at all for that matter)!!!! Sandra, you quoting the Bible, but never mentioned the part about “Thou shall not commit adultery”.
When that ol’ ninja name HIV (or STD)creep up on those that think cheating is “ok”, they’ll sing another tune!!
So Official Says: Soooo, if it’s ok to cheat and/or cheating isn’t a deal breaker in your relationship, why get married?! Why stand before GOD and VOW to be faithful, then say it’s OK for your mate to cheat? That makes absolutely no sense!
**********************************************
because nobody knows the future, not even jesus.
@So Official #85
Who said it’s “okay” to cheat?
Actually, it has only been in recent years that my viewpoint has changed. I used to feel that adultery was a deal breaker. I got married then and stay married for the same reasons now; Because I love and am in love with him and because I want to spend my life with only him.
Anna, I think women like that are truly women that don’t want to be bothered again with the foolishness.
rjk8 Says:
@ms.truth Says: I could really care less what she says…The only grounds for divorce in the Bible is adultery…cheating…infidelity…that should tell people that IT’S NOT RIGHT!! a marriage is sacred between a male and female…TWO PEOPLE, not THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, you get my drift
*********
Maybe that’s because “in the bible men had multiple wives.” Which is something that I do not advocate.
***********************************************************
Just because men in the Bible had multiple wives does not mean that God approved of it. There was also homosexuality, murder, jealousy, etc. in the Bible.
@Isc Yes her hubby likes them but we do not
As I have stated before I am not fan nor have I ever been a fan of the word/term “homewrecker” because I feel ppl use it incorrectly if anything the person who took the vow decieded to step outside and WRECK their home
@Sandra
Where is Nichelle and Intense
@Bruce
lol@ Intense.Daisy, you crazy calling in CAPTAIN ALL CAPS
*typo Where are
And because our grandmothers accepted the fact that a man is going to be a man and he is going to creep. Just because a man cheats does not devalue You as a woman.
————————–
It devalues your marriage. I don’t buy into the boys will be boys mess. It takes a strong person to abide by their vows and some people should simply realize what is and isn’t for them. We as women get it thrown at us all day everyday so no person could tell me because they have a penis they aren’t capable of saying no.
@RTB this seems to be her fav topic same with Nicelle
yesindeedio
FloridaChick813 Says:
Couldnt agree more with you Sandra.. Men dont view sex the same way women do.. After women have sex, they are laying their dreaming up this relationship they want, in their mind, the relationship has started… In the man’s mind, the relationship just ended.. Unless he trully cares about the woman..
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Men engage in sex mechanically. So when their wives catch them cheating they don’t understand her rage. They think it’s just sex, which is separate from love. Whereas, women think love and sex are synonymous. That’s why we “save ourselves” for the “right man.”
brucebaner1 Says:
FloridaChick81
Couldnt agree more with you Sandra.. Men dont view sex the same way women do.. After women have sex, they are laying their dreaming up this relationship they want, in their mind, the relationship has started… In the man’s mind, the relationship just ended.. Unless he trully cares about the woman.. But when they cheat, its nothing but some a.s.s. She’ll never hold his heart.. She’ll never cook his food or share his home… Not saying I agree with it, but…..
********************************
Great points, but I have a question to the woman in here. Why give it up to men so easy if you believe we aren’t going to be faithful? Even further, why not give it up until the guy REALLY likes you for you and not the sex?
________________
I’m not gonna say “women” because once you grow up you realize this doesnt work.. But most “girls” give it up because they think this will make the guy like the more. Im in a relationship now, so I cant really speak on it. But I know from experience, I used to think the same thing.. Maybe its low self esteem, maybe its just the craving of acceptance.. But if I show him how good IT is, he’ll want to be with me.. In reality, he just got what he wanted, so the game is over.
a lot of older women were stay at home moms and felt they didn’t have many options if they left since the man was the breadwinner, i think that is why most of them stayed, they liked the lifestyle. things are different today. that is why my granny made sure all of her daughters got college degrees and the granddaughters too, so we never had to depend on a man. we love them and have a partnership with them and allow him to be the head of the house like God ordained, but we don’t depend on him.
and why would any woman want to share her man…the jumpoffs that he’s messing with aren’t the ones that have to clean up behind him, cook his meals, wash his clothes. If you give your husband permission to cheat, you’re making it easy for some other woman out there.
Alls I can say is if my husband knew I was setting it out for someone else – OH HE’D CUT MY HEAD OFF! So why should he get a pass?
I really can’t fathom that someone is truly OK with their mate sleeping around. At least not if they love them.
SANDRA
So Official Says:
Soooo, if it’s ok to cheat and/or cheating isn’t a deal breaker in your relationship, why get married?! Why stand before GOD and VOW to be faithful, then say it’s OK for your mate to cheat? That makes absolutely no sense!
**********************************************
Because that’s your belief based on the culture you were raised in. There is no rule in Nature that says a man and a woman have to be married or in a committed relationship in order to engage in sex. Marriage is a man’s law based on our religious and moral beliefs which are often inconsistent with Nature.
Point is, men cheat because they can.. There are soooo many lose women out there who are willing to give it to them, and dont care that they are married or in a relationship… Temptation is a bish…
and im def not saying its okay, because Cheating is WRONG when your in a committed relationship.. But at the end of the day, you never know what your getting when you choose your mate. All you can do is pray that God leads the relationship in the right direction!
ReadTheBlog Says:
Alls I can say is if my husband knew I was setting it out for someone else – OH HE’D CUT MY HEAD OFF! So why should he get a pass?
__________________
LOL Exactly
~LovLi~ Says:
@So Official #85
Who said it’s “okay” to cheat?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In reading the article, the way I comprehended it, Mo’Nique thinks it’s ok to cheat…that’s who! If you married your husband because you love him and he cheats on you and you stay with him because you love him so much then good for you! But I’m not having it…and that’s MY opinion.
I was raised by my grandparent’s and my grandfather crept on my grandmother. I am not sure how many times but there was one lady in particular that he crept w/ and once in a blue moon her name would pop up. It was crazy to me cuz my grandmother allowed it to happen.
When I got married and hubby cheated, I was ready to walk on out. I spoke to my grandmother and she talked me into giving him another chance. I did and everything is better now. Now I understand more and more why she stayed with my grandfather. The only difference is that she let my grandfather continue to do it. I will not stay w/ hubby id he does it again…
@Sandra
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant.
*************
Does that mean that at one point you had a strong desire to be pregnant?
ohpretty1,
I cosign 100%. This is a bunch of nonsense. Yep! Men have it great! The “boys will be boys” mantra works so well with them, and countless women have bought into it. They can be married and their wives totally expect them to cheat, and it’s okay with them because men are inhuman and can’t control where they decide to lay their pipe. Way to go, ladies! What a generation we live it. What are we going to teach our children. Are we going to start telling our daughters, “Baby, it’s wonderful to get married, but your husband is going to be weak and cheat on you, but it’s okay because, babygirl, that’s just what men do.” Where are people’s self respect? If you allow him to cheat, he’ll take you up on it.
It’s not a “deal breaker” to some people because sex has become so degraded and cheapened. It’s lost it meaning because everyone so quick to give it up. Many women are willing to put up with it because they don’t want to be manless. If you allow it once, he’ll do it again. If that’s not a problem with a woman, than more power to you. It would be a major problem to me. One “mistake” maybe, but a chronic cheater? I’m worth more than that.
@ 71
Religion wasn’t part of my statement but I will tell you this………
Marriage is a commitment that is cross cultural and a part of all religions except maybe scientology. Lol.
But really if you make that choice to wait until marriage then you really waited for love to enter your life, as you see it. When you love someone you work on the sex because sex is better when you are in love. When you decide to say those vows and sign that contract, and yes it is a contract, you are doing it “for better or for worse” just because there are good times means you have to create bad ones.
lexdiamonz Says:
i think if a man VALUES his woman he won’t cheat on her
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Men don’t think they devalue their wives when they cheat. Only women think that and they punish themselves and devalue themselves while the man goes
. Cheating is a mechanical function to a man. Once they hit it and quit it, they go home to their wives who they love with all their heart.
@ Chase – I applaud you lady for having the faith in your marriage and your husband.
Truth be told, no one knows what they would do if put in that situation.
Sandra Rose Says:
So Official Says:
Soooo, if it’s ok to cheat and/or cheating isn’t a deal breaker in your relationship, why get married?! Why stand before GOD and VOW to be faithful, then say it’s OK for your mate to cheat? That makes absolutely no sense!
**********************************************
Because that’s your belief based on the culture you were raised in. There is no rule in Nature that says a man and a woman have to be married or in a committed relationship in order to engage in sex. Marriage is a man’s law based on our religious and moral beliefs which are often inconsistent with Nature.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“
EXACTLY…so why get married? Stay single and screw any and everything that lets you! Why make a commitment that he knows (as you claim) he won’t be able to honor? I may be one of the few females that don’t believe in marriage, I don’t have a strong desire to be pregnant, I’m not nuturing. It’s NOT human nature for a man to cheat and it’s a cop out to use “I’m a man’ as an excuse for cheating…he cheats because he’s weak. PERIOD.
Not all women want kids. I want kids but I have 2 gfriends who could care less if it happens or not and they both can have kids so thats not it either.
#118 very well said
My definition of love is Biblical, and there is nothing in the Bible that would state, “Man, you can poke your penis in random women’s vaginas and wholeheartedly give yourself to your wife.” It isn’t there. Love is not selfish, and in my opinion, adultery is a selfish act. Love will always seek the best for the other person (man love your wives as Christ loved the church AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT. There’s a reason why God said, “Thou shall not commit adultery.”
Sandra, mature men with sense don’t analyze cheating like you just did. That really doesn’t make sense. To f*ck a chick then go home to your wife.
the strongest hold a women can have on a man is a sexual one. a man will never let a good piece of azz go easily. dont believe a man will cheat and thats that. if its good, that man aint going nowhere and that will eventually turn into a emotional relationship. Cheating is never ok. dont let a man believe that it is. we will always loose if we tell a man that cheating is ok.
I see it’s membership drive time for team lesbun and Sandra is head of the committee.
The only way you can expect you spouse not to stray (male or female) is if their commitment to God is greater than the commitment they have to you.
I wish Monique would stop acting like her situation is normal or that she’s even happy with it. She makes my azz itch with her hypocritical low self-esteem azz. Watch when she loses all that weight and gains more confidence, she’ll kick Sidney to the curb with the quickness.
@bigtime (108)
I was about to say the same thing. Women of today have more options then women of yesterday. They don’t have to put up with certain things just for the sake of keeping a roof over their families head. Now the courts will make sure of that.
I think the rate of divorce is higher now because so many more women refuse to put up with the BS
Sandra,
As much as I hate to admit it I agree with you 100% with men being mechanical and women being emotional (men are from mars women are from venus). Yes there are some exceptions to the rule but as a majority you are hitting some great points. So
for you.
I will say this – HIV AIDS and the rash spread of it throughout communities are the very basis for being in a monogomous relationship-Im certain if GOD wanted us all to be in one happy orgie he would’ve kept the STD’s at bay…Don’t agree- don’t share my man, and don’t allow him to think it’s okay to behave like a cave man-NOT!
@Sandra I dont think women should let a cheating man mess with their self esteem I agree w/you on that point. However, I do disagree a man will NOT feel VALUED if their mate cheats on them. What are your views on women who cheat?
All men are not mechanical I know this-I’ve had a cheating ex hubby and that mofo was very mechanical about cheating and actually couldn’t understand why I left him-my beau now is not mechanic and is younger than me and can not stand the thought of sleeping around becuz of STD’s and him just not trusting other peoples judgement…so don’t include my man in the men catagory I know this after being with 2 rottens eggs prior to him.
@isc men find emotion if you cheat
The only way you can expect you spouse not to stray (male or female) is if their commitment to God is greater than the commitment they have to you.
______________
AMEN
Daisy, you better let Joel go now… I won’t warn you again!
Ladies don’t sip Sandra’s kool-aid its not true… there are men out there who respect themselves too much to cheat on the woman they chose to be with… do not be desperate and settle for less than what you know you deserve.
@Ms TruthJust because men in the Bible had multiple wives does not mean that God approved of it. There was also homosexuality, murder, jealousy, etc. in the Bible.
************
This is why most educated young adults reject the bible as factual. There are some great lessons that can be learned, but man uses it to TRY to validate whatever point they are trying to make while rejecting or dismissing other parts that contradict that same point of view.
Seriously, if you love your mate, you care about their emotional well being and you don’t do anything to cause pain, you don’t do anything to disappoint or let your mate down.
People that cheat like that have other issues, usually deep-rooted. *Pulling out my DSM-IV TR*
Please when I cheated on my ex husband that nicca was like it’s okay we can work this and Im thinking mofo if I cheated on you I don’t want to be with you…
rjk8 Says:
@Sandra
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant.
*************
Does that mean that at one point you had a strong desire to be pregnant?
*************************************************
Yes I did. At one time. But I quickly got over it when I turned 6.
Choco Says:
I will say this – HIV AIDS and the rash spread of it throughout communities are the very basis for being in a monogomous relationship-Im certain if GOD wanted us all to be in one happy orgie he would’ve kept the STD’s at bay…Don’t agree- don’t share my man, and don’t allow him to think it’s okay to behave like a cave man-NOT!
_____________
Sooo very true!!!!
KrayZKat Says:
My definition of love is Biblical, and there is nothing in the Bible that would state, “Man, you can poke your penis in random women’s vaginas and wholeheartedly give yourself to your wife.” It isn’t there. Love is not selfish, and in my opinion, adultery is a selfish act. Love will always seek the best for the other person (man love your wives as Christ loved the church AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT. There’s a reason why God said, “Thou shall not commit adultery.”
************************************************************
just something to back up what you said…
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
this does not say many wives or husbands, or many girlfriends (jumpoffs) or boyfriends
Yes, men do find emotoin when they get cheated on. How many men do we know have went off the deep end when they get cheated on? :gunfire:
Sandra Rose Says:
rjk8 Says:
@Sandra
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant.
*************
Does that mean that at one point you had a strong desire to be pregnant?
*************************************************
Yes I did. At one time. But I quickly got over it when I turned 6.
————————————————————
So going by that a man can get over his desire to bed every woman he finds attractive who is offering. SANDRA RENEE ROSE JENKINS, STOP THE MADNESS
So Official Says:
~LovLi~ Says:
@So Official #85
Who said it’s “okay” to cheat?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In reading the article, the way I comprehended it, Mo’Nique thinks it’s ok to cheat…that’s who! If you married your husband because you love him and he cheats on you and you stay with him because you love him so much then good for you! But I’m not having it…and that’s MY opinion.
~~~~~~~~
@ the “and that’s MY opinion”
Wow. Really? (Raises one eyebrow) Your emphasis makes me think you read something in my question that wasn’t there. It’s cool.
This is why most educated young adults reject the bible as factual. There are some great lessons that can be learned, but man uses it to TRY to validate whatever point they are trying to make while rejecting or dismissing other parts that contradict that same point of view.
_______________________
This is sooo accurate for me and why I do not claim one religion I am spiritual….
Shoutout to all the people who look at marriage from a SPIRITUAL aspect :woot: I want a man of God who will serve and honor God and ME *goes to shout*
chase Says: When I got married and hubby cheated, I was ready to walk on out. I spoke to my grandmother and she talked me into giving him another chance. I did and everything is better now. Now I understand more and more why she stayed with my grandfather.
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every woman thinks her husband and children are perfect…until she finds out they aren’t.
the longer i am married, the more i ask for wisdom to understand and deal with all things.
that doesn’t mean condoning cheating, telling your daughters it’s ok, telling the man he can do what he wants, knowing when you get married you’re going to cheat, etc. some people are taking it a bit far.
Hello All. Hairy legs or no hairy legs, that is the question. I say to each his own. If you’re fair-skinned–light, bright, damn-near-white, and hairy as hell, then by all means shave. If you’re darker and it doesn’t show as much, don’t shave. To each its own. As for men cheating, my Momma, God rest her soul, said that when it comes to fidelity/infidelity, men ain’t no good, riding or walking. I guess that bout sums it up. (But not ALL men cheat.) As we get older, some women get tired of all the trappings: make-up, hair, shaving, panty hose, nails, eyebrows, etc. Staying naturally sexy and beautiful helps! I’m just saying, peace.
Ladies, do you think if your husband cheats,and you stick around, should you be able to cheat, too?
Monique talks about what she allows her husband to do, but I wonder if he allows the same thing?
Does that make it all any better?
@Chase
I know what you mean but girl please let me tell you a secret about a cheater-once a cheater always a cheater all he does is get better at making sure you don’t find out-I for one couldn’t tolerate it in my marriage and was proud to be divorced as a result…icing on the cake is that to this day my ex hubby knows the loss of a family…
bigtyme Says:
a lot of older women were stay at home moms and felt they didn’t have many options if they left since the man was the breadwinner, i think that is why most of them stayed, they liked the lifestyle. things are different today. that is why my granny made sure all of her daughters got college degrees and the granddaughters too, so we never had to depend on a man. we love them and have a partnership with them and allow him to be the head of the house like God ordained, but we don’t depend on him.
——————–
GIVE ME A HUG!!!! That’s what I’m saying. It’s in how you were raised. I have a friend whose husband gave her a step child and a STD. She’s divorcing him. An ‘old schooler’ told her she was stupid along with the rest of us ‘young girls.’ “He’s a good man. Look at the house you live in!” *record scratches* I had to get up and leave b/c I didn’t want to disrespect an elder. That type of thinking is a generational curse that needs to be done away with. If the divorce rate is 50% because people, not just women, aren’t standing for being disrespected, then so be it. I’d rather have my self respect than bragging about being married for other people’s sake. Did I mention, he wants her to raise the child as theirs and they don’t have children together? Ninja please.
ms.truth Says:
just something to back up what you said…
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
this does not say many wives or husbands, or many girlfriends (jumpoffs) or boyfriends
******************************
We are forgetting that the man probably had sex with the woman before he loved and respected her for the person she is. Even if you marry that man you did under the assumption he loved you when in reality he probably loved the sex. Could it be that the bigger picture is men don’t respect their women because the women don’t deserve it? Why would you assume that a guy that met you to have sex with you, would have morals later?
Let me say it AGAIN, BULLSHYT. Men dont understand the rage women feel when they are caught cheating?!?! Mofo what!?!? Its the SAME rage they feel when they are the ones cheated on. WTF are you talking about?
We are the damn same! That men are different BULLSHYT is an excuse created by a sorry azz MAN. If I can wake up to your stupid azz everyday and be happy you can do it too. I’m not a saint (being a woman doesnt make me special) and it aint that damn hard.
If you feel the need to fluck everything moving something is WRONG with you! Dont blame that shyt on mother nature, blame the debil..lol
Sandra Rose Says:
LuvMySailor Says:
Marriage does work!! Why did our grandmothers stay married for 50 years and our generation has a 50% divorce rate?
Because they had deeper faith, stronger communities because they had to stick together and because they knew not to confuse lust with love
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And because our grandmothers accepted the fact that a man is going to be a man and he is going to creep. Just because a man cheats does not devalue You as a woman.
————————————————
Not every man is going to creep, just like very woman is giong to stay faithful either. Not to throw religion in the mix, but I know plenty of couples who are grounded in the Word of God who are happy and would never cheat because they love each other and love the Lord more to follow His command not to cheat. I have too many single male friends looking for a non gold-digging kind woman with no chip on your shoulder and know too many happily married 20 somethings to give into that lie. Marriage works
@RTB
Ladies, do you think if your husband cheats,and you stick around, should you be able to cheat, too?
__________________
For me it wasn’t a matter of should I it was a matter of don’t get mad get even…especially after him being caught countless times LOL….I wish a bish would sit back like June Cleaver thinking everything’s alright
rjk8 Says:
@Ms TruthJust because men in the Bible had multiple wives does not mean that God approved of it. There was also homosexuality, murder, jealousy, etc. in the Bible.
************
This is why most educated young adults reject the bible as factual. There are some great lessons that can be learned, but man uses it to TRY to validate whatever point they are trying to make while rejecting or dismissing other parts that contradict that same point of view.
************************************************************
I have yet to find anything that contradicts itself in the Bible…you were right by saying that most people want to take parts of the Bible and apply it…that could be either to approve of the Bible or not approve it…but I do know that if you read the Bible as a whole, not just a few scriptures here and a few here…everything is explained in there. And if you have a good understanding of it, then you will see the truth in it.
Choco Says: I know what you mean but girl please let me tell you a secret about a cheater-once a cheater always a cheater all he does is get better at making sure you don’t find out-I for one couldn’t tolerate it in my marriage and was proud to be divorced as a result…icing on the cake is that to this day my ex hubby knows the loss of a family…
*********************************
didn’t you say you were a cheater too?
@Free
What is your question to me? If you read my post I cheated to get even after he cheated do I cheat in my relationships NO! Will I get even on anyone who cheats on me constantly YES..DOES that make me a cheater F NO IMO!
@Daisy and ms.truth,
THAT’S what I’m talking about, ladies.
This whole “boys will be boys” mantra is bullshit. Woman have a sex drive too. We are conditioned to control ours on the threat of being a “whore, jump off, loose”. America is has the markings of a patriarchal society so of course those who are in power will not change the rules because then they loose some of their power.
Men are not pubically penilized for their loose ways. It is not until they find that one woman they want who turns them down on the basis of their being a man whore that they realize the error of their ways, or the fact they gain crazy ass baby mamas who milk them dry.
Monogamy in marriage is still possible. My mother and father had a beautiful marriage before cancer took him away. I have a great one now, as do my friends.
rjk8 Says
I have yet to find anything that contradicts itself in the Bible…
*********************************************
I can give you at least 100……..here is a few
He who finds a wife finds a good thing. (Proverbs 18:22)
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (1 Corinthians 7:1)
A man shall marry his brother’s widow. (Deuteronomy 25:5)
A marriage between a man and his brother’s widow is unclean. (Leviticus 20:21)
It is better to be unmarried and a virgin, and live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (Paul — 1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
@Luv
Truth be told women sex drives increase as they get older just sayin…
i meant ms. truth
truth be told, i can get dick before i can get a free meal…so i have a lot of options to cheat and i choose not to and most women have these same options.
@bruce banner… what’s contradictory in those verses you pulled?
rjk8 Says:
@Sandra
Women are programmed to be nurturers and that’s why we have such a strong desire to be pregnant.
*************
Does that mean that at one point you had a strong desire to be pregnant?
*************************************************
Yes I did. At one time. But I quickly got over it when I turned 6.
———-
I know that you were being 100% but that was the funniest comment!!!
Why get married? I answered that point in my first comment. (Sorry for typos) There is no community or country in the world that can progress with 70% illegitimacy. None! This has been shown and learned throughout history from the begginging of civilization. Married is required to control the masses to maintain accountability and commitment to your spouse, emotionally, legally and financially. If we didn’t have marriage the world would be one big GHETTO.
brucebaner1 Says:
rjk8 Says
I have yet to find anything that contradicts itself in the Bible…
*********************************************
I can give you at least 100……..here is a few
He who finds a wife finds a good thing. (Proverbs 18:22)
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. (1 Corinthians 7:1)
A man shall marry his brother’s widow. (Deuteronomy 25:5)
A marriage between a man and his brother’s widow is unclean. (Leviticus 20:21)
It is better to be unmarried and a virgin, and live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (Paul — 1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
************************************************************
Thanks for proving my point. As I said, you’re just pulling scriptures out. Did you read the surrounding scriptures?? Did you read the entire book that those scriptures came from?? I’m positive they had scriptures before them and after them that explained what was being said.
brucebaner1 Says:
I can give you at least 100……..here is a few
**************************************************
bruce, it’s called CONTEXT.
Gone are the days of The Jeffersons, 227, Family Matters, The Cosbys, My Wife and Kids et al where the nuclear black monogamous family was celebrated and demonstrated.
Now we make reality stars out of crazy jumpoffs like Danger or baby mamas like Tiny and Toya.
Our community is in more trouble than we realized
FloridaChick813 Says:
@ Chase – I applaud you lady for having the faith in your marriage and your husband.
Truth be told, no one knows what they would do if put in that situation.
————————-
Exactly, for me I knew it was bound to happen we have bee together since hs. I did not expect him to be 100% faithful since being together since age 17… I also don’t expect it on my end, it has not happen yet but who knows what the future holds…
Choco Says:
@Free
What is your question to me? If you read my post I cheated to get even after he cheated do I cheat in my relationships NO! Will I get even on anyone who cheats on me constantly YES..DOES that make me a cheater F NO IMO!
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How do you know your ex didn’t cheat on you “to get even” too?
Bottom line is you admitted to cheating, that makes you a cheat, no matter how you try to justify it. So according to your theory, you’re always going to cheat…
Ok I don’t comment much on here but this is a good topic.
Anyway I have to disagree with you Sandra about women being programmed to be nuturers and wanting to be pregnant. I know many women who don’t want children not even a pet for the matter. Did you ever stop to think that the women who desire to be pregnant want to because of the man they’re dealing with? Most women I know become pregnant because their man wants a baby, they try to keep that man or they were just careless by not using protection so they got caught up. Most of the wome I know who have children hated being pregnant and try always always say wait before you have children. Not that they don’t love their kids but if they knew then what they know now it wouldn’t have happen so soon. I feel women were trained by men that our greatess accomplishment in life was to bear children and that’s BULLSHYT! Now that women have become educated and understand that we are worth more than that men can’t handle it. Most our grandmothers who took most of the crap from their men were not educated and had to depend on the mans funds to live a certain lifestyle so that’s why the shut the hell up and came up with that dumb azz saying “a man is going to be a man”. Ain’t nothing new up under the sun because the new generation follows suit (gold diggers) with women who want to stay uneducated but have the finer things in life. As long as they don’t have to work hard to receive the finer things in life they will let their man cheat and remain dumb azz women. All fault can’t be put on men either because they wouldn’t have anyone to cheat with if these women didn’t exist. Women like Monique are the one who keep the cycle going. Low self esteem is really an issue with women but I would rather be a Oprah or Jennifer Aniston first before I settle as some mans child bearing ho.
A man shall marry his brother’s widow. (Deuteronomy 25:5)
A marriage between a man and his brother’s widow is unclean. (Leviticus 20:21)
This is obvious should a man marry his brothers widow? Yes and No
It is better to be unmarried and a virgin, and live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (Paul — 1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
This is huge, I thought it was better to be married. Going by this it is no wonder the divorce rates are so high…..here are some really obvious contradictions:
Thou shalt not kill
– Exodus 20:13
Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side… and slay every man his brother…
– Exodus 32:27
thou shalt give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,
hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.
– Exodus 21:23-25
… resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
– Matthew 5:39
The Lord is good to all.
– Psalm 145:6
I make peace and create evil. I the Lord do all these things.
– Isaiah 45:7
@LuvMySailor… yes we’re under attack in such obvious ways, yet we get distracted by little things.
For people quoting scripture, you all are leaving out how often temptation is talked about. It is to be resisted, it does exists all day, every day. Have any of you have ever been tempted to do the wrong thing AND given in to it? ” Tell the truth and shame the devil” Lol.
Since we’re going to church in here the Bible also says love bears no record of wrong. So if someone has had infidelity in their marriage and worked it out I say good for them. If they decided to part ways I still say good for them.
It’s interesting how all the fidelity scriptures are being quoted, but in the same vows that say “I will forsake all others” also says we will remain together for “better or worse”. SO it still comes down to what those two people decide is the best solution to their problem.
I’ve been married for 4 years we were together for 5 years before we got married. 9 years together I know my husband would never cheat on me, nor would I cheat on him. This whole every man cheats is a bunch of bull crap. My husband takes his oath under GOD seriously. Eff that all men cheat mess. My man don’t and would never do it. My grandparents have been married for 55 years, my grandfather til this day he treats my grandmother like a queen and she never had to deal with him cheating on her with other women.
Now growing up my parents were married, but guess who did the cheating? My mother had an affair with someone for 7 years before my dad found out. My mom was the one stepping out, effing around. She was the one that tore the family apart. All men don’t cheat. There are still some good men out here that value their marriages and families.
@ rjk8, As an educated young person, I don’t reject the Bible as factual but I don’t think it’s 100% truth. Since I have always been on the outside looking in regarding any kind of religion, I am able to see both sides without blinders on.
@Karaz
How I know is becuz I was blessed with intuition…I’m not in the mood for silly questions coming from young girls and I don’t intend on proving any point to you-If you think I’m a cheater that is fine with me-cuz what you eat don’t make me shyt! Carry on!
If you can’t commit to one man/woman, then marriage is not for you. It’s a waste of time to go through marriage and still live a single life…that is, unless you marry for the wrong reasons like, money and healthcare benefits.
First she tells fat woman to stay fat, and she lose weight. Now she suggest that cheating keeps her with her man.
free Says:
bruce, it’s called CONTEXT.
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It is actually perception. You see how Ms. Truth doesn’t see the contradiction. This is my problem with religion as a whole, but that is for another time……unless you up for it
brucebanner… you’re straight chopping & screwing the Bible to fit your arguments. You can’t removes a few words from context, the meaning is lost without the surrounding words.
Carry on
Wow. Sandra I gotta cosign with you for the most part. What I dont understand is why in this day and age people need to define other people’s marriages. Your marriage is defined by you and yours, and if God is the mix thats up to you. I know for me, a marriage can only be sacred when both people are happy. If Monique is happy with being able to cheat, thats her. Who the hell am I to judge? People stay in marriages for all kinda reasons these days.
But back to the topic. Sandra I dont why you left out the part about her husband getting it in with men on the side! She said he likes hairy legs, I bet you he does! :homoswitch:
Cinderella Says:As an educated young person, I don’t reject the Bible as factual but I don’t think it’s 100% truth. Since I have always been on the outside looking in regarding any kind of religion, I am able to see both sides without blinders on.
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I agree with you, I believe the “intent” of the bible was great. However, it was written by man, hence the mistakes.
Choco Says:
@Karaz
How I know is becuz I was blessed with intuition…I’m not in the mood for silly questions coming from young girls and I don’t intend on proving any point to you-If you think I’m a cheater that is fine with me-cuz what you eat don’t make me shyt! Carry on!
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Hold up, you look at my picture and think I’m a young girl
Hot damn, Clinique works y’all! I was looking old in the eye area a few months ago.
But however you splice it, the definition of a cheater remains the same: One who cheats
KaraZ Says:brucebanner… you’re straight chopping & screwing the Bible to fit your arguments. You can’t removes a few words from context, the meaning is lost without the surrounding words.
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Of course I am……its that perception that has the youths going away from the church. The bible shouldn’t be able to be chopped and screwed. If it truly came from a perfect being, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. And no I’m not an Atheist….lol…just open minded,,,,,,
Mother Jefferson Says:
But back to the topic. Sandra I dont why you left out the part about her husband getting it in with men on the side! She said he likes hairy legs, I bet you he does!
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that smiley is so wrong.
Coming from a background of Muslims (who don’t use the Bible) and Jehovah’s Witnesses (who use their own Bible), and finding the truth in the Bible and being a born again Christian, yes, I have YET to find any contradiction in the Bible, and I stand by that. You spitting scriptures at me without telling me what the entire book says, does not for me…But to each his own. We all will have to stand alone before God one day.
@KaraZ
What makes me think you are young is your question to me about how do I know my man cheated-you are either young or inexperienced-oh and don’t flatter yourself your pic is not why I think you are young… but allow me to end with this once more-What you think about me doesn’t make the radar of my list of concerns…TTFN!
@brucebanner… The words came from God, they’re not open for interpretation in my book. I know what it says, others do too, but it’s our human nature to try and make God fit our purposes. I feel like a Bible Ninja today… this is the 4th conversation I’ve had today alone.
KaraZ Says:
Choco Says:
@Karaz
How I know is becuz I was blessed with intuition…I’m not in the mood for silly questions coming from young girls and I don’t intend on proving any point to you-If you think I’m a cheater that is fine with me-cuz what you eat don’t make me shyt! Carry on!
————————————————————–
Hold up, you look at my picture and think I’m a young girl Hot damn, Clinique works y’all! I was looking old in the eye area a few months ago.
But however you splice it, the definition of a cheater remains the same: One who cheats
____________
@KaraZ What did I miss> What’s with some people taking this stuff personal?
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@ Choco Respectfully I remind you that you said “Once a cheater always a cheater”. Initially you didn’t give any stipulation to it. Otherwise you should have said,” Once a REVENGE cheater always a revenge cheater” Lol
motherjefferson: I know for me, a marriage can only be sacred when both people are happy.
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i think this is the key. enuf said.
A person having faith in God/Jesus doesn’t mean he/she is immune to temptation. It’s unfair to expect a person to be walking perfection: A man or woman who does the right thing ALL of the time.
@Choco, reading is not only FUN, it’s FUNdamental… I asked you, “How do you know your ex didn’t cheat on you “to get even” too?”
You said your cheating wasn’t really cheating because you were trying to get even, that’s why I asked. Maybe his cheating wasn’t really cheating for the same reason as yours.
And I choose to continue to flatter myself. Thanks boo
@Kara and Lovli
You are not on my level so keep your inquiries moving I really have no intention of being politically correct with you so move on and once again girls stop being so anal!
@KaraZ – LOL at the bible ninja….too many inconsistencies for me, but to each his own……put that numchuck away!!!!
@Kara
Sorry your bored but I’m know bored with you – I mean honeslty honey why the fuk are you so concerned move on I will let you know what I want you to know and you are really trying to theorize me off of blanket statements-choose your battles wisely….
@choco what does TTFN mean?
@LovLi your guess is as good as mine… I was asking questions for clarifications, I guess she didn’t like them. Though it’s clear to me, she didn’t read the question, so i’m not getting my answer and I can STFU in the process.
Choco Says: What makes me think you are young is your question to me about how do I know my man cheated-you are either young or inexperienced-oh and don’t flatter yourself your pic is not why I think you are young… but allow me to end with this once more-What you think about me doesn’t make the radar of my list of concerns…TTFN!
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i think her point was your man probably had a “good reason” (in his mind) just like you have a “good reason” (in your mind). you could have just divorced him while still maintaining your dignity and honoring your vows but you deliberately put yourself on his level (cause you wanted to) and now, according to your own words, you are no good for any future man you might have.
thanks for asking brucebanner, I’m too young or inexperienced to know that too…
~LovLi~ Says:
For people quoting scripture, you all are leaving out how often temptation is talked about. It is to be resisted, it does exists all day, every day. Have any of you have ever been tempted to do the wrong thing AND given in to it? ” Tell the truth and shame the devil” Lol.
Since we’re going to church in here the Bible also says love bears no record of wrong. So if someone has had infidelity in their marriage and worked it out I say good for them. If they decided to part ways I still say good for them.
It’s interesting how all the fidelity scriptures are being quoted, but in the same vows that say “I will forsake all others” also says we will remain together for “better or worse”. SO it still comes down to what those two people decide is the best solution to their problem.
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Yes! I’ll be the first to raise my hand. I have been tempted to do wrong and gave into it before and oten suffered the dire consequences. Temptation isn’t a sin, it’s the yielding to the temptation. We’ve all done it because we’ve all sinned.
If a person gave into the temptation of cheating (which the Bible says is grounds for divorce because it’s so serious), that doesn’t mean you can’t forgive them. Repent, get counseling, if necessary, and keep it moving, but if that person continues to sin against God, you, and the marriage, it’s time for action. That saying, “you reap what you sow” is so true, and everyone will one day answer to God. That’s my belief.
@Bruce
TTFN ta ta for now….
KaraZ Says: You said your cheating wasn’t really cheating because you were trying to get even, that’s why I asked. Maybe his cheating wasn’t really cheating for the same reason as yours.
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ok so i intepreted yours correctly. i guess i’ll shut the f*ck up too, lol!!
That’s a nice pic of them, but he looks
They have known each other for a long time, maybe they made a pact long ago that if by a certain age they were single that they would get married. I’m just wondering if she says what she says about her marriage as a way of telling us “I know what my husband does, I let him so don’t go gossiping about it”. 
This marriage seems like a cover up to me, or just a marriage of convience.
@Choco, you’re soo right, we’re definitely not on the same level. We’re so obviously different, there was no need for you to put it writing with your colorful language.
Carry on.
so i’m not getting my answer and I can STFU in the process.
__________________
No we see eye to eye
@FREE
STFU you know nothing of my value and once again honey worry about your home don’t get so involved in mine I’m starting to feel as though you both are lil tooo interested if you catch my drift and one more thing don’t ask questions that you yourself may not be able to answer one day….Again chick if you are in a relationship focus more on that if not check yourself and find out why but in the process leave me and mine alone-TTFN!
@KaraZ – I’m staying out of your cat fight, but I do see what you are saying…
Their is only ONE GOD….and I don’t want no modern bible I want the bible just how it is…No need to change it to fit people and how they live..if you are trying to justify your actions then you know you are wrong…
#thatisall
As far as the Bible is concerned, the original language of the Bible was written in Hebrew (old testament) and Greek (new testament). Everyone who picks it up cannot understand it. It’s a complex book that must be studied to be understood. Some scriptures are literal, some must be pulled apart. I think that’s why so many people see it as a contridiction, but the Bible is not a contradition at all. It was written thousands of years ago, and has predicted the very things going on to this day ACCURATELY.
Choco Says:
@Kara and Lovli
You are not on my level …
~~~~~
@Choco Thanks! That was really nice of you to say.
@KaraZ Congrats on not being on Choc’s “level” .
Yes free, i rarely try to fool myself with words, so my words are usually interpreted correctly… I’ll go back to sipping my cup of STFU now —>
I hear the drummers.
@choco….LOL….you crazy….
@LovLi, congrats to you too…do we start a club now? What are our colors? Gosh I feel so special
@Krazy Kat comment 208
10000000000000000%
@missy (long time no type) which God is the only one? Which bible is the right one?
@brucebanner, I don’t cat fight… and my mama told me never to fight a fool. She’ll bring me down to her “level” and beat me with her experience EVERYTIME… nooo sir I’m not fighting Choco. NOPE. won’t do it.
@kara
She’ll bring me down to her “level”
_____________________
This rings very untrue if anything sweety I will uplift and get all them immature cobwebs out of your head! But enuf of this – cya in the next one!
KrayZKat – Nostradomous arguably predicted stuff that has happened now, does that make him God. The bible definately has contradictions, because it was written by man. Why would a perfect God create a book for us to live our life by and make it soooo hard to decipher? God was omnipotent too, didnt he see this coming? Could it be God had nothing to do with the bible and man created as a control mechanism? These are just questions……
did I say their was a right bible or did I say no need to change to bible to fit the times…THEIR IS ONLY ONE GOD I KNOW ABOUT AND ACKNOWLEDGE…
I don’t debate about religion …..so #thatisall
@LaTechGrad02 may I please have some of that
The bible was written by men who were inspired and experienced the love,care, and first hand experience of the great things Jesus did…
God does give people knowledge and gifts…..#thatisall
@Mother Jefferson,
I love the show Divorce Court because Judge Lynn spits out a lot of wisdom and good advice. I’m not married, but I do know what happy marriages look like.
The thing about happiness is that it comes and goes oftentimes based on the circumstances of life. One thing Judge Lynn (and other married couples I know) have said, in a marriage, you are not always happy. You have great moments and moments of trials and tribulation. That doesn’t always diminish the love people have for one another, so does that mean that during those times of “not so happy moments” their marriage is not sacred? Just asking.
brucebaner1 Says: KrayZKat – Nostradomous arguably predicted stuff that has happened now, does that make him God. The bible definately has contradictions, because it was written by man.
INSPIRED BY GOD
Why would a perfect God create a book for us to live our life by and make it soooo hard to decipher?
NOT HARD. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE DILIGENT, DISCIPLINED, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT HELPS A LOT TOO. THE AVERAGE MAN CANNOT PICK UP A BIBLE AND READ IT LIKE A NOVEL. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO. IT WAS DESIGNED THAT WAY. ALSO IT’S A LIFE-LONG PROCESS. YOU CAN READ SOMETHNG OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL MISS THINGS YOU PICK UP LATER.
God was omnipotent too, didnt he see this coming? Could it be God had nothing to do with the bible and man created as a control mechanism?
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY “THIS”. MAN ISN’T SMART ENOUGH TO WRITE THE BIBLE ON HIS OWN. PLUS CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW CRAZY IT WOULD BE IF SO?
A man liking hairy legs does not equate to being gay or bi. My mom had beautiful legs with fine black hair and my dad loved it. Trust me when I say that NOTHING about my dad is gay or bi! He’s a rural Southern man who simply liked that.
Monique has said in the past that she and her hubby have an open marriage. Around the same time Will Smith said the same thing and got a lot of flack. After that, I didn’t hear Monique say anything else about it until now. Ruby Dee and her husband were swingers back in the 70s according to one of them. None of it is my cup of tea. I’m with #7.
I’m so mad at her for misquoting the Bible COMPLETELY, because if the shyt she were saying were true the ten commandments would not state “THOU SHALT NOT COMMITT ADULTRY” Monique needs to leave GOD completely out of that foolishness!!
And further more this is nothing more than a woman whose content with a piece of man, as long as she can say she is married or is not alone…willing to settle for less and sell herself short of respect just because she feels no one else will won’t her azz with those hairy azz legs and fake azz self esteem should she get a divorce. What kind of female would continue to let a man cheat on her??? Okay first time may not be a deal breaker in a marriage but continuously huh?? Obviously the man is not satisfied with what you have together, and desires something else….who the hell would take all that hurt and pain off of ANYBODY less long a husband?? You sit round and let a man continue you to cheat if you want, keep hiz azz around and see if he don’t end up divorcing YOUR azz in the end….”A wise woman LEAVES before she is LEFT”
Monique gurl….”Im so disappointed this evening” SMH
@missy – those men were (probably) inspired to find a way to control people. Think of how the bible views women, you are to “support” the man, be submissive, stay a virgin, speak softly. If you go back 4000 yrs you would be amazed at the amount of women in power…….being a woman that should make you think……
@KaraZ, Thanks. Colors… hmmm… I’m not sure what colors signify not being on someone’s leaving. I’ll leave the colors to you and I’ll work on a logo. Lol
Seriously, I think Choco is lashing out because her all-knowing intuition did not allow her to see the foolery and hypocrisy of her own p.o.v. that she CHOSE to make public. Her anger is just a displacement– rather than see the contradiction of what she stated and reevaluate or clarify it’s easier for her to act as if everyone is has the problem; It’s really quite common from those on her “level”.
@Karaz, yes ma’am, I just sprinkled some Creole seasoning on it
Choco Says: STFU you know nothing of my value and once again honey worry about your home don’t get so involved in mine I’m starting to feel as though you both are lil tooo interested if you catch my drift and one more thing don’t ask questions that you yourself may not be able to answer one day
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if you look far enough above, i said i might get my groove on too if we decided to stay together. however, i can’t then go on to throw shade like i’m all that and a bag of chips. sorry, you can’t have it both ways.
all this is just for me to say it’s easy for people to point fingers and say this and that but nobody knows how they will ultimately react when faced with this situation.
free Says: I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY “THIS”. MAN ISN’T SMART ENOUGH TO WRITE THE BIBLE ON HIS OWN. PLUS CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW CRAZY IT WOULD BE IF SO?
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This is my point, look around it is CRAZY!!!!!! BTW omnipotence is having the abilty to know what is going to happen before it does…….
NOT HARD. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE DILIGENT, DISCIPLINED, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT HELPS A LOT TOO. THE AVERAGE MAN CANNOT PICK UP A BIBLE AND READ IT LIKE A NOVEL. HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO. IT WAS DESIGNED THAT WAY. ALSO IT’S A LIFE-LONG PROCESS. YOU CAN READ SOMETHNG OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL MISS THINGS YOU PICK UP LATER.
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I can’t argue with this belief, so you are saying an uneducated, average person should not be able to understand the bible? That doesn’t seem fair…..its actually quite cruel…..
Panus disclaimers reads as follows: “Baby, you can have me but chances are I may sleep with other women. If you’re okay with that, sign here x__________________.”
Stop giving men passes to cheat because they are men. That’s like saying all pitbulls attack people. Not comparing men to animals but the same logic.
brucebaner1 Says:
KrayZKat – Nostradomous arguably predicted stuff that has happened now, does that make him God. The bible definately has contradictions, because it was written by man. Why would a perfect God create a book for us to live our life by and make it soooo hard to decipher? God was omnipotent too, didnt he see this coming? Could it be God had nothing to do with the bible and man created as a control mechanism? These are just questions……
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I guarantee you he is not God. The Bible has PERCEIVED contradictions to those who do not understand it. Every prediction in the Bible has come to past, and there’s more yet to come. It is 100% accurate (that has been studied and proven). Nostradomous was a mear man and could not predict something with precision accuracy.
Yes, the Bible was written by man as they were inspired by God. It’s not hard to decipher and He has made a way for everyone to understand it if they want to. We receive it by faith and faith alone. He wouldn’t give us a command and not provide the means to fulfill it.
brucebaner1, I completely understand how you feel about it. I really do. It’s such a complex thing to explain, but the best way I can explain it is that everyone who wants to know God and His Word, it is available if they go to Him. Maybe others here can add more wisdom as well.
Can we get a kumbaya minute?
@Lovli
DONT” WORRY ABOUT IT-that’s the easiest route to take but you both are so dormant in your own lives that you wanna keep tryn to check me NO “Who gonna check me boo” LOL Back the fuk off MUAH Besos Besos
Girl you rambling is meaningless and my answer is all to clear and the fact that the both of you who want to appear intellectual by debating with me signifies that you are not…A man who cheats constantly will always cheat…I don’t cheat constantly in fact he is the only man I have ever cheated on so that does not make me a cheater imo-but you two are showing such boxed in frame of mind which is why I wont’ and never really will break it all down for you live your own life and get your own life experiences-I know who I am why are you so desperate in trying to get to know who I am—SMH
@Free, thank you for breaking that down.
@ohpretty1, lol
@ ohpretty1
Sure!
(singing softly with eyes closed) Kumbaya, my Lord. Kumbayaaa…
~LovLi~ Says:
@KaraZ, Thanks. Colors… hmmm… I’m not sure what colors signify not being on someone’s leaving. I’ll leave the colors to you and I’ll work on a logo. Lol
Seriously, I think Choco is lashing out because her all-knowing intuition did not allow her to see the foolery and hypocrisy of her own p.o.v. that she CHOSE to make public. Her anger is just a displacement– rather than see the contradiction of what she stated and reevaluate or clarify it’s easier for her to act as if everyone is has the problem; It’s really quite common from those on her “level”.
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The “level” that we’re not on by the way. I also think much of her anger is rooted in the fact that she’s still hurt from the breakup and as much as she’s happy that her husband now “knows the loss of a family”, she also knows the same loss. I can’t imagine she’s a very happy individual, to be lashing out so bitterly at people that don’t even know her and clearly couldn’t give a flying rat’s turd about her cussing them out.
I’m happy not to be on that level or anger, hurt, bitterness, disillusionment and hypocrisy… so our colors can only be happy and lively colors.
@Free and Lovli
You both need to get lives this is sickning I won’t be responding becuz I find your debate meaningless like you both are to me-I mean lets be honest we don’t know one another DAYUM!
@LaTechGrad, thanks for the seasoning girl, I need it since i’m not on levels and ish…
@Kara
Yeah hun that pretty much sums it up “rolls eyes” lmao!
Well Choco has monopolized this post enuf- thanks for all the adoration and attention Lovli, Free and KaraZ….
@KrayZKat – Very eloquently said! The problem is the bible has not predicted specifically anything that has happened in history.(I’m theology/philosophy major) I guess if you are looking to believe in something, you won’t see what will make you not believe. I’m not here to do that, just to give you an alternate perspective. I assume you live your life doing good by all, that is all that matters. (even if there isn’t a heaven)
@Choco, go with God, hope you resolve your issues. Not trying to be cheeky, you just seem disturbed and I really do wish you well, so you can be happy again and leave your e-gangsta ways behind.
brucebaner1 Says: I can’t argue with this belief, so you are saying an uneducated, average person should not be able to understand the bible? That doesn’t seem fair…..its actually quite cruel…..
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what i’m saying is that you need the holy spirit. it’s really not about education. the bible has to be unlocked, for lack of a better word. the average person can gain knowledge of the bible but it’s based upon their own understanding–that’s why we have so many misquotes, falsehoods, and misconceptions about what it states. the holy spirit, put very simply, is like a teacher. helping to guide, affirm, deny, etc. if you don’t have it and you are diligent about learning the word, you will receive it sooner or later. if you are just browsing, you can study and possibly understand some things but you are more susceptible to misinterpretation or CONFUSION.
@Kara
I’m not trying to be cheeky but you really do seem obsessed get some help….
Choco says: Blah, blah, my level, blah blah blah my level
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Now LovLi says: A woman who publicly contradicts herself will either
A) Clarify in a mature manner or B) Get on her “level” and lash out while channeling some random RHOA as if something could really pop off online.
Now back to the singing… (slowly swaying side to side)… o Lord, kumbaya
@free – ok; how would an uneducated, average person receive the Holy Spirit? If they have no knowledge of Jesus (becuase they don’t “understand” the bible) but are doing good things in life, do they go to heaven?
Choco Says: You both need to get lives this is sickning I won’t be responding becuz I find your debate meaningless like you both are to me-I mean lets be honest we don’t know one another DAYUM!
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hey i don’t take it personally and neither should you. i think you got caught up in the crusades and forgot you were a heretic, lol. i’ll have forgotten all about this once i leave this page.
Choco and Free – Could I get you ladies to hold hands also and join in. One grab my left and the other grab my right. Let’s close our eyes…kumbaya and woosah. (I’m not being sarcastic I just enjoy the family affair).
I must say there are worst things in a marriage than cheating It would not be a deal breaker for myself either. But that’s just me. If my fiance were to hit me or do something even worse to our child, then yes those are deal breakers. But I understand that sometimes things happen. While it’s not pleasant and it may hurt like hell, you work to overcome it.
Why put on airs and act as if you’re gonna kick him to the curb when that’s the love of your life? There are the issues of serial cheating, children outside the marriage, spending money on strippers, porn, hookers etc…..not sure how I feel about that. But if he laid down with a woman and it was his only time doing it, then I can’t say for sure I’d pack my bags and leave. When you’re married with children you have more to think about than your own personal pride.
@~LovLi~ – shaking head……..
@ohPretty
im good but I will nix on the hand holding IMO I think I did enuf of that with all three of them ditzis : )
#241 Choco says: “I won’t be responding …”
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SMH. More contradiction. Will it never end? < rhetorical
Someone’s sleep my Lord, kumbaya …
brucebaner1 Says: @free – ok; how would an uneducated, average person receive the Holy Spirit? If they have no knowledge of Jesus (becuase they don’t “understand” the bible) but are doing good things in life, do they go to heaven?
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oh, god will come to them. they needn’t worry about that.
sorry to be a party pooper but simply doing good things in life will not get you into heaven. that’s the bad news.
everyone of the age of understanding will have an opportunity to receive the holy spirit. this is the good news.
@brucebaner1, I understand your viewpoint. I personally think the writers of the Bible, manipulated some passages. If man can slaughter a nation of people for their land and resources, kidnap, rape and beat people and force them into slavery, create a government that is crooked and injust, and setup an economic system that keeps certain individuals at the bottom and certain ones at the top then man is capable of writing some Bible passages.
#241 Choco says: “I won’t be responding …”
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SMH. More contradiction. Will it never end? < rhetorical
Someone’s sleep my Lord, kumbaya
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You too are obsessed-SMDH
ohpretty1 Says: Choco and Free – Could I get you ladies to hold hands also and join in. One grab my left and the other grab my right. Let’s close our eyes…kumbaya and woosah. (I’m not being sarcastic I just enjoy the family affair).
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i’m done. bruce and i are kicking it now! hopefully, this does not carry on to the next topic because i don’t hold e-grudges.
@Cinderella – brucebaner1, I understand your viewpoint. I personally think the writers of the Bible, manipulated some passages. If man can slaughter a nation of people for their land and resources, kidnap, rape and beat people and force them into slavery, create a government that is crooked and injust, and setup an economic system that keeps certain individuals at the bottom and certain ones at the top then man is capable of writing some Bible passages.
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I love you!!!! LOL……
Free – oh, god will come to them. they needn’t worry about that.
sorry to be a party pooper but simply doing good things in life will not get you into heaven. that’s the bad news.
everyone of the age of understanding will have an opportunity to receive the holy spirit. this is the good news.
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This is very disturbing, what about all the indigenous nations/religions that have no access to a secular religion? This is why “religion” is bad. If what you say above is true, God cannot be perfect, because a perfect God would have found a better way to make us ALL believe. Better yet, he would have seen that the bible and religion would cause social conflict and over a hundred million deaths and decide on something different. This means one of two things, God has no control over anything, or God is not perfect.
@Free – On another note why is God a man? Didn’t he created man in his image? If he is perfect why aren’t we. Another thing why isn’t God a woman? Life would cease to exist if women stopped having children. Shouldn’t woman be above men? Very strange……
@ Free – going to lunch, liked the chat, very mature….
@Lovli #258
STOPPPPPPPPp!!!
*SMH* ..this is why I hate religious debates people question you and your beliefs because you don’t agree with them…. *SMH* .
I know I’m late on this as usual but part of the problem is that we look to people like Monique and these other celebrities, friends, family etc to tell us what is right or wrong in our marriages/relationships. I stayed with an abusive, cheating, lying asshole for years because I listened to what other people had to say and tried to model my relationship after other peoples. Was I screwed over in my marriage? Yes. Do I believe all men are like my ex husband? Hell no. I still believe in marriage just as strongly as I believe in love but I do know that without both parties putting God first a marriage can not be truly successful. I also don’t believe that once a cheater always a cheater saying because I believe everyone has the power to change and most importantly God can turn a bad situation into a good one through prayer. People are human, they make mistakes, Lord knows I have but I wish someone would try to tell me that because I did something in my past ill never do better so why do we put that on men?
hmmm bruce….it’s not a religion…it’s a relationship. When you’ve been touched by God, you’ll understand. I was once in your shoes, until God used his Almighty power and MADE me a believer. It’s a beautiful thing. I’m glad to see we have some warriors for God on here…
aidansmom Says:
I must say there are worst things in a marriage than cheating It would not be a deal breaker for myself either. But that’s just me. If my fiance were to hit me or do something even worse to our child, then yes those are deal breakers. But I understand that sometimes things happen. While it’s not pleasant and it may hurt like hell, you work to overcome it.
Why put on airs and act as if you’re gonna kick him to the curb when that’s the love of your life? There are the issues of serial cheating, children outside the marriage, spending money on strippers, porn, hookers etc…..not sure how I feel about that. But if he laid down with a woman and it was his only time doing it, then I can’t say for sure I’d pack my bags and leave. When you’re married with children you have more to think about than your own personal pride.
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You know, whatever works for you. Some women allow their men to spend money on hookers, go to strip clubs, cheat, etc. in order to keep him. If that’s good enough for them, more power to them. I believe as long as women hold on to a man who clearly isn’t respectful of the marriage (especially if he’s a chronic cheater), then the love is only being received but not given. JMO. There are no consequences. You mentioned his being the love of your life. The hypothetical question I have is, if he’s cheating, are you the love of HIS life? I know relationship are so complex especially when kids are involved so each woman/man has to decide for themselves what they will and will not tolerate. I would never tolerate a man cheating on me. EVER, because I love me too much. Break ups are hard and painful (been there, done that), but like the old R&B song goes, “I will survive.” Also, what if he brings something unwanted home? People don’t think about that. His cheating (even once) could cause a child to be born outside the marriage. When does it become grounds to drop his cheating tail and keep it moving, love or no love?
Here legs are disgusting….I know I wouldn’t want to rub those things, her joints have more hair then me, you can not caress those legs, you have to brush and comb them.
@missy – I never even asked you what your beliefs were. What is wrong with questions, if you don’t have the answers, then find them!
@ms.truth – if that EVER happens I’ll look forward to it. I’m guessing the hand of God is enough proof to believe God exist
bruce god was perfect but Adam and Eve brought the sin on
God won’t make us do anything, he gives us a choice
brucebaner1 Says: This is very disturbing, what about all the indigenous nations/religions that have no access to a secular religion?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY LACK UNDERSTANDING OR INTELLIGENCE? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY LACK RELIGION, FOR THAT MATTER?
This is why “religion” is bad. If what you say above is true, God cannot be perfect, because a perfect God would have found a better way to make us ALL believe.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE HASN’T? EVERYBODY BELIEVES IN SOMETHING, EVEN ATHIESTS.
Better yet, he would have seen that the bible and religion would cause social conflict and over a hundred million deaths and decide on something different. This means one of two things, God has no control over anything, or God is not perfect.
NOT HIS FAULT. SAVE FOR ADAM AND EVE, WE WOULDN’T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS. SIN CAUSES CONFLICT NOT GOD, NOT THE BIBLE, NOT RELIGION. DON’T CONFUSE THE HUMAN ELEMENT (MAN’S ATTEMPT TO REACH GOD) W/THE SPIRITUAL (GODS ATTEMPT TO REACH MAN) ONE.
Lord knows I have but I wish someone would try to tell me that because I did something in my past ill never do better so why do we put that on men?
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gurl cuz some men (not ALL) take it TOO DAMN FAR….yea you cheated in your past, but you are continuously cheating, again and again….and now it seems as if you have cheated the entire time we were together, or the same amount of years our child have lived upon this earth, or you keep finding excuses to seperate so you can be with other bytches, or now this hoe tom bout you might be the father, or this hoe called and said you gave her herpes/hiv, or some trick keeps calling you on this cell and when I answered it sounded like a damn man, or its been 12 years and Im still miserable cuz i don’t trust you…etc…thIS IS WHEN IT BECOMES A CONCERN IN A MARRIAGE
So Official Says:
Soooo, if it’s ok to cheat and/or cheating isn’t a deal breaker in your relationship, why get married?! Why stand before GOD and VOW to be faithful, then say it’s OK for your mate to cheat? That makes absolutely no sense!
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Sandra Rose Says:
Because that’s your belief based on the culture you were raised in. There is no rule in Nature that says a man and a woman have to be married or in a committed relationship in order to engage in sex. Marriage is a man’s law based on our religious and moral beliefs which are often inconsistent with Nature.
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So Official Says:
EXACTLY…so why get married? Stay single and screw any and everything that lets you!
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Exactly. That’s what nature intended. Marriage is a manmade institution, and like anything that’s manmade, it’s doomed to failure.
brucebaner1 Says: On another note why is God a man?
HE TOOK ON THE FORM OF MAN (JESUS) FOR A PURPOSE
Didn’t he created man in his image? If he is perfect why aren’t we.
YES, BUT WE NOW HAVE SHORTCOMINGS THANKS TO ADAM. GOD GAVE HIM FREE WILL [IN HIS IMAGE] AND LOOK WHAT HE DID W/IT!
Another thing why isn’t God a woman? Life would cease to exist if women stopped having children. Shouldn’t woman be above men? Very strange……
HE’S NEITHER. HE JUST MADE JESUS IN THE FORM OF A MAN. PERHAPS TO APPEAL TO THE MEN OF THOSE DAYS FOR HIS PURPOSE. A WOMAN CANNOT MAKE A CHILD W/O A MAN SO THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
This is why “religion” is bad. If what you say above is true, God cannot be perfect, because a perfect God would have found a better way to make us ALL believe.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE HASN’T? EVERYBODY BELIEVES IN SOMETHING, EVEN ATHIESTS.
P.S. THIS GOES TO FREE WILL ALSO. YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT TO. HE WANTS US TO EMBRACE HIM BY OUR OWN VOLITION NOT BECAUSE HE’S MAKING US. SO, HE PUTS HIMSELF OUT THERE AND YOU CAN EITHER JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON OR NOT.
I TEND TO THINK OF IT LIKE A PARENT. YOU CAN LISTEN OR NOT LISTEN. IF YOU DON’T THAT’S COOL BUT YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. IF YOU DON’T THINK THERE WILL BE ANY CONSEQUENCES, MORE POWER TO YOU–ENJOY YOURSELF AND RELAX! SOONER OR LATER, YOU’LL FIND OUT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
so, according to you religious types, the Bible says for us get married, that adultery is a sin but it’s ok for a man (married or not) to spread his seed all over the planet…..LOL….makes no sense –> religion is bullsh*t, so I say SIN SIN SIN cause it’s more fun to sin than trying to decode that book of fairytales called the BIBLE.
I hate when people use the Bible to justify nonsense. ANYONE can be faithful IF THEY WANT TO BE. Women need to stop making excuses for men and putting up with their bullsh*t because “he’s a man and he’s only doing what a man is suppose to do”…oh yeah? well, then tell me what is the women suppose to do? Hello- ladies –> we have RIGHTS we have VOICES –> USE THEM instead of bowing down to that loose peen.
BTW – Sidney looks gay, so I hope Monique don’t mind that his cheating may involve slobbing on that hard, black knob.
ReadTheBlog Says:
Sandra, mature men with sense don’t analyze cheating like you just did. That really doesn’t make sense. To f*ck a chick then go home to your wife.
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Really? Men do that every day. I guess you’ve never heard of prostitution?
iscream Says:
Sandra,
As much as I hate to admit it I agree with you 100% with men being mechanical and women being emotional (men are from mars women are from venus). Yes there are some exceptions to the rule but as a majority you are hitting some great points. So for you.
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Thanks. I’m happy to see that women are finally gaining some insight into why men cheat, and why a woman shouldn’t blame herself.
@Free – The fact that God gave us free will to do bad as well as good, shows that he could not have been perfect. He didnt have to make us robots he could have just made us to make ONLY GOOD decisions. This is a HUGE mis-caculation. By allowing us to make bad decisions we do. So lets see God created us to have free will, we use that free will to do bad things (like cheat), when we die we live an enternal afterlife of “fire and brimestone”. Thanks God………
@Free – *HE’S* NEITHER. HE JUST MADE JESUS IN THE FORM OF A MAN. PERHAPS TO APPEAL TO THE MEN OF THOSE DAYS FOR HIS PURPOSE. A WOMAN CANNOT MAKE A CHILD W/O A MAN SO THAT’S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
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You just said He, why not she when referring to God? You made my point
@Free – I TEND TO THINK OF IT LIKE A PARENT. YOU CAN LISTEN OR NOT LISTEN. IF YOU DON’T THAT’S COOL BUT YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. IF YOU DON’T THINK THERE WILL BE ANY CONSEQUENCES, MORE POWER TO YOU–ENJOY YOURSELF AND RELAX! SOONER OR LATER, YOU’LL FIND OUT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
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The major difference is you can see your parents and see their direction. Imagine if you had to be raised by what was in a book, with no parents just someone saying your parents exist, but you can’t see them.
CHYLLLLLLLLLLlllllleeeee BOOOOOOOoooooo!
#capitalN-Othanks
@Free YES, BUT WE NOW HAVE SHORTCOMINGS THANKS TO ADAM. GOD GAVE HIM FREE WILL [IN HIS IMAGE] AND LOOK WHAT HE DID W/IT!
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Gods free will is the ability to be perfect. We were not created in that image. What image were we created in? Just the story of Adam and Eve is an oxymoron to God. You are made in Gods image but you aren’t smart enough not to eat an apple from a snake? That doesn’t make sense. Additionally, at this point why didn’t God start over? Didn’t he want peace and love for his people? Seeing how Adam and Eve conducted themselves would have made any normal person rethink humans. This goes to show that man created these stories, not guidance or input from a perfect being.
Sandra – We are forgetting that the man probably had sex with the woman before he loved and respected her for the person she is. Even if you marry that man you did under the assumption he loved you when in reality he probably loved the sex. Could it be that the bigger picture is men don’t respect their women because the women don’t deserve it? Why would you assume that a guy that met you to have sex with you, would have morals later?
All I an say is Wow! about some of these comments about God SMH…. I personally would not be okay with my husband cheating, I just would for that he doesn’t have any respect for me or the marriage so I would leave thats just me
Sandra – We are forgetting that the man probably had sex with the woman before he loved and respected her for the person she is. Even if you marry that man you did under the assumption he loved you when in reality he probably loved the sex. Could it be that the bigger picture is men don’t respect their women because the women don’t deserve it? Why would you assume that a guy that met you to have sex with you, would have morals later?
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I don’t agree with you on religion, but I must say with this statement you do have a point. Basically the way of the world has caused all this kaos, no man will marry a woman who will not give him sex, and most men would prefer a woman who has sexual experience over a virgin, both genders act immorally so yes, what is the point of anything anymore. However I would say to that its your choice either you stand for something and fall for nothing or you don’t and end up in a miserable situation regardless….now a days you ask yourself whats the point. I would honestly rather go unmarried than live unhappily with a man who can’t treat me as I would treat him, Its not worth it to me. I do not wish to leave this world unhappy I had enough of that coming into this world dealing with my mom and dad’s issues and living from pillow to post, I refuse to put my children thru the same or settle for a piece of man just to say I have one and leave this world feeling the same way i came in. NEVER!
brucebaner1 Says: @Free – The fact that God gave us free will to do bad as well as good, shows that he could not have been perfect.
I’M NOT SURE HOW YOU CAME TO THIS CONCLUSION. HE GAVE US FREE WILL BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. IT REALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS PERFECTION. DON’T BLAME HIM BECAUSE ADAM SUCCUMBED.
He didnt have to make us robots he could have just made us to make ONLY GOOD decisions.
ROBOTS ARE PROGRAMMED TO BEHAVE WITHIN CERTAIN PARAMETERS SO WE WOULD BE ROBOTS.
This is a HUGE mis-caculation. By allowing us to make bad decisions we do. So lets see God created us to have free will, we use that free will to do bad things (like cheat), when we die we live an enternal afterlife of “fire and brimestone”.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE AN ETERNAL AFTERLIFE OF FIRE AND BRIMSTONE THOUGH. YOU CAN MAKE BAD DECISIONS AND GO TO HEAVEN. AND YOU CAN MAKE GOOD DECISIONS AND GO TO HELL.
You just said He, why not she when referring to God? You made my point
NOT REALLY. “IT” WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE APPROPRIATE BUT “HE” IS WIDELY USED AND ACCEPTED.
The major difference is you can see your parents and see their direction. Imagine if you had to be raised by what was in a book, with no parents just someone saying your parents exist, but you can’t see them.
RIGHT, THAT’S THE PLAN FOR NOW. YOU MUST WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT GOD WILL MAKE CONTACT IN SOME SHAPE, FORM, OR FASHION WITH EACH PERSON. SO THEY MAY NOT NECESSARILY BE READY FOR THIS AT A CERTAIN TIME.
Gods free will is the ability to be perfect.
NO IT’S NOT. FREE WILL SIMPLY MEANS WE ARE FREE TO MAKE CHOICES. PERFECTION IS OUT OF THE QUESTION AT THIS POINT.
We were not created in that image. What image were we created in?
DON’T GET STUCK ON LITERAL INTERPRETATIONS. HE COULD HAVE CREATED US AS ROCKS BUT HE DIDN’T. WE ARE LIVING, THINKING, BEINGS.
Just the story of Adam and Eve is an oxymoron to God. You are made in Gods image but you aren’t smart enough not to eat an apple from a snake? That doesn’t make sense.
SEE ABOVE.
Additionally, at this point why didn’t God start over? Didn’t he want peace and love for his people? Seeing how Adam and Eve conducted themselves would have made any normal person rethink humans. This goes to show that man created these stories, not guidance or input from a perfect being.
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT WHAT YOU WOULD DO ON GOD? HE CREATED US TO BE JUST AS YOU HOPED FOR BUT IT DIDN’T WORK OUT. HE CHOSE NOT TO START OVER. HE WAS DISAPPOINTED BUT HE DIDN’T DESTROY US. TO ME, IT’S BETTER THAN STARTING OVER. HE GAVE MANKIND A CHANCE, AND CONTINUES TO DO SO, DESPITE ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED UP TO NOW. ALL THIS WHILE KNOWING THAT SOME OF US SIMPLY DON’T BELIEVE IN HIM.
@ Free well said
I BELIEVE…..unlike Teeny who “BELEVES”
@Krysi You cant spell either, its beleaves…
NOTE TO MO: MAKE SID GET A VASECTOMY, SO YOU WON’T HAVE TO PAY A BITCH CHILD SUPPORT FOR THE NEXT EIGHTEEN YEARS. YOU KNOW SID WOULDN’T HAVE A DIME IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU. HELL, YOU’RE PROBABLY ALREADY PAING FOR THE KIDS HE BROUGHT TO THE RELATIONSHIP. YOU’VE KNOWN HIM FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, AND HE JUST DECIDED THAT YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH TO MARRY? YOU CAN’T BUY LOVE MO.
YOUR LEGS ARE DISGUSTING. MAYBE WHEN YOUR HAIRY LEGS TURN GRAY (AND THEY WILL), YOU’LL SHAVE THEM. ANY WOMAN WHO GIVES HER HUSBAND PERMISSION TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, IS TOTALLY INSECURE WITH HER OWN SEXUAL OWN SEXUAL IMAGE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THAT. GUESS NOT.
So while I was trying to do homework (and basically slacking) I found this quote about Mo’Nique’s open marriage:
“Let me say this: I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney,” the Academy Award nominee says in this year’s 29th – and final – Barbara Walters Oscar special.
“Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That’s not a deal-breaker. That’s not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let’s end the marriage.’”
And what if the “Precious” star discovered that Hicks had, well, stepped out more than once? No sweat.
“What if it’s 20 times?” asks the openminded actress. “So what? We’ve been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don’t know who they’re laying next to. I’m very comfortable and secure with my husband.”
This is what I don’t understand, you’re OK with your husband stepping out on you, even while you’re faithful to him? That doesn’t make sense. I have to agree with the people who say that cheating is a deal-breaker for them. If i’m faithful to ONLY you, and I find out that you’re cheating, I would have to kick you to the curb. It’s like what one poster said, “I love me too much.” For me, once trust is gone, it’s damn near impossible to get it back.
To the people (men and women) who have stayed with their significant others while they cheated – I commend you because I couldn’t do it. I know my best friend stayed with her high school sweetheart after he cheated 3 years ago. I have to admit that I wanted her to leave (we were 22 at the time, and they were together since 16), but then I had to sit and think, “You don’t know their entire relationship. You only see a fraction of what goes on, so if she’s happy then I have no choice, but to support her.” Now they’re expecting a baby in September. Make no mistake, if he does it again, she said that she’s leaving.
To me, open ANYTHING whether it be relationships or marriages do not work. At one point one person is going to invest more feelings than the other and ultimately will get their feelings hurt. It NEVER works. Yes, Ossie and Ruby had an “open relationship” until one day Ossie said he wasn’t going to share Ruby anymore.
I’m feeling a certain kind of way about Mo’Nique. Before these quotes, I thought her marriage was a monogamous one. I seriously hope she didn’t “settle” on Sid because for someone who talks about being “comfortable in their own skin” that would seem like a contradiction. All I have to say is if Mo likes it I love it because ultimately she’s the one who has to live the life…
@Krysi You cant spell either, its beleaves…
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aww shyt oops, it was a typo
Monique sounds like she is making excuses for her Hubby!! She is trying to come across as someone that is secure about herself but she really isn’t because if you accepts someone’s misbehaviour than you can’t complain. If she is fine with him doing a bunch of other chicks, then more power to him of course there is no need to leave, she makes the money provides a good life and he gets to bang whoever he wants. Seems like a good deal to me.
But speaking from Man’s point of view. We are in control of all our actions. There is a thing called discipline, just like you know you are not suppose to steal from a store, its the exact same thing. We go on about loyalty, integrity, etc. Well this is when you suppose to put it to use. We as human will try and make excuses for all of our faults and flaws, instead of bettering yourself, you want everybody just to accept it. I was raised unforgiven, if I made mistakes i received the worst punishements, I hardly got second chances or any sympathy. So now I live my life just like that. If I have a good woman, that I decide to make my better half, that means that she passed my requirements and why would I jeopardize over some cheap piece of pu**y.
I guess if you had to pay a price for your mistakes people would not be so free with it. If you can always get away with sh!t why would they even want to stop??
You wanna know why crimes in other countries are so low in other countries, because if your ass gets caught stealing your hand comes off, no questions asked. People over there think about the price they have to pay and what the benefit is.
Some of you are killing me with the low self-esteem!!!!! These comments are hilarious. For all of you who say you’d stay with a man…TRUST that he will leave you if you’re doing the cheating. I’m so sick of women being weak and having to carry the burden when a man cheats. Maybe if he brought your ass an STD home you’d feel a little differently. A lot of you sound PATHETIC. I think Monique simply doesn’t value herself the way she’s led you to believe and therefore is settling for an “open marriage” because she doesn’t believe she’s good enough for a man to not cheat on her. Just like she tried to make everyone believe she loved being fat and hated “skinny bitches”. Yeah well, we see who’s losing weight now don’t we??? She doesn’t have me fooled for a second. Oh and what Sandra wrote was just ridiculous.
agree with gagirl08 199%….matter fact make that 1000%
she ain fooling me either with that stupid shyt….and I ain even trippen off what Sandra said, her opinion of how a man and woman’s relationship or marriage should work does not count on any level…love you auntie!
Wow…….I hope those of you living your life like there isn’t a higher being is right.
I hope one day Monique can value herself……that she can see she does not have to be cheated on. I @ one point had Mo’s problem….BUT I did some soul searching and realized I deserve better…..not only for me but my children as well.
oh please, Mo’ and her wolfman legs need to stop.
I recall waiting in a hotel lobby for some friends to leave for dinner and noticed Sidney looking in our direction; one of my friends said “uhm he’s kinda-fly I just might have to die” and exchanged smiles, me’ not knowing who the hell he was until Ms. Wolf-P*zzy comes thru the elevator and immediately mauled us with a look that would have stabbed us. At first, we really didnt recognize her, because she seemed too thin for Mo’Nique. So she grabbed that tall sexy Sid’ and hurried to the limo waiting at the door. Mo’ is very insecure when it comes to Sid’
Why is he going out of his way tosay “how you doin”?
I am glad I skipped this debate however I don’t care who says it’s okay to cheat. Your wife can say it’s okay, your mother, your pastor, your sister, your bestfriend. Hell everybody that’s walking this earth can say it’s okay to step out and cheat on your spouse. However the bible says “YOU will have to answer to go for YOURSELF!” So when he comes back for the last time and he is coming back. He said in his word ~~that it will be fire this time around.~~
He will cast your cheating azz to hell~~~~ because his words says THOU SHALT NOT COMMITT ADULTRY. And he’s not going to care that your wife/husband said it was okay! He said obey my words not folks……. So you can fool yourself into believing as long as my spouse says it’s okay… but you will pay because it’s his words you have to live by not men….
And if you don’t believe in God then I guess you will have to see it for yourself….
***God***