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Hi Sandra,
As I write this email, I am sitting in the emergency room at a local hospital where I live. I have bruises on my face and in my head from where my husband, the man who is supposed to love me, attacked me this morning.I had spoken briefly over the weekend with some of the fellow Sandrarose family, whom all wished me well with my situation. I received some very encouraging words from Attorneymom, Daisy, KaRaz, KrazyKat, and a few others.
I opened up about what I was going through because I have been a loyal reader to Sandrarose.com for years and I even though I don’t personally know everyone who comments, I feel they are my family in my head.
Please do me a favor let your readers know that domestic violence of any kind is wrong. I heard a few people say we don’t know what happened in that car with Rihanna and Chris Brown, but guess what – it really doesn’t matter.
NO ONE has the right to put their hands on you. NO ONE.
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Ridiculous…
:cries1:
Wow. I don’t know who this reader is, but I hope she is taking steps to leave her husband. Please don’t stick around for another attack. I hope this was the first and LAST time this happens to you and your hubby has not done this before.
God bless.
Wow!!! Just wow!!! I hate this sh!t.
I will pray for you to keep moving forward and never looking back
I am pryin for you to get the strength to leave. Don’t allow him to continue to abuse you mentall or physically.
My heart goes out to you… please don’t stick around b/c if he did it onces he will do it again. I will keep you in my prayers my sista.
I’m praying for you. You will make the best decisions for yourself and come on back to Atlanta.
I know this is gonna sound clich`e but I wish you well. I hope that you make the right decision for you. I know exactly how you feel. I was once a victim…..but I got out. BE STRONG. Time heals ALL wounds. Trust you are better off without him.
for you.
I wish her the best but why is she bringing Chris and Rihanna into this and if she’s trying to make a point DV did not start with these young kids. Stay strong and know that God will see you thru.
Gather your strength and leave that situation…your is BETTER than that!!!
You are so brave! I am praying for you and wish you a speedy recovery so that you can start the real healing process. Bruises and scars heal a lot faster than the emotional scarring that domestic abuse causes. My
goes out to you.
run and dont look back!
life^
I am sorry this happened to you. I assume from the email that this isn’t the first time or the writing was on the wall recently. You have to reach deep down inside and find a way to free yourself. God bless.
Well I guess that answers my question I asked her on Sun. Praying that God will see you and your daughter through this situation. God Bless. I agree everybody needs to keep their hands to themselves. This is just heartbreaking.
I pray that God gives you the strength, courage, will and means to get out of this situation! In the name of Jesus, Amen!
Love doesn’t hurt. Hope this chic leaves dude alone.
WOW! I am praying for you and pray that God leads you in the right direction. Domestic Violence is a terrible.
LORD HAVE MERCY!!!
I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes…because my prayers didn’t come true…I see the evidence in your photo…
We use the internet for some much b.s….but YOU had the strength and bravery to use it to reach out to people you felt a connection with…and to share and offer a warning to those who are in a similar situation..
I hope that you get free and do what is right for you and yours…it won’t be easy…but you have a BUNCH of people out here in this universe pulling and praying for you…
I am one of them…
My heart goes out to you. Please know that it is okay to leave him. you will be okay. I have been there and there is NO reason to stay. None. Not money. Not the children. You have to put yourself first.
She is in my prayers
Wow…so sorry to hear about what happened to you. Find your stregth in the Lord and ask that he order your steps and keep you strong so that you can remove yourself from that situation….
I pray that you will have the strength to leave this situation.
Keep it moving my dear… I always live by “s.h.i.t on me once shame on you, s.h.i.t on me twice shame on me. Do what is best for u and ur daughter a child would rather come from a broken home than continuously live in one.
Time does heal all wounds, so do not go back when you are feeling weak. Prayer helps to stay strong. May God Bless you and keep you safe.
Pack and pray. There are plenty of resources available to you, so please do not feel alone or afraid if you have to make a hasty move. There are loads of organizations that may possibly be able to provide additional resources to you if you need help.
I don’t comment very much and I’m a loyal reader on my Auntie Sandra Rose. I’m sorry to see what your going through and my prayers are with you.
God created you because you are significant to this spinning world God’s love doesn’t batter, God’s love doesn’t call you foul names, bruise our ego, tear you down. Therefore he wouldn’t allow the man, from whose rib you were created, to do anything other than what he would. Please remember this and take the necessary steps to remain safe.
well..is charges being pressed? restraing order being processed? is the nigga in jail? do you have a place to go? is he gone? in any event..this ish is sad, and men always get out of pocket..smh @ society
I’M PRAYING FOR YOU!!!!
It’s obvious your already strong cause of the way your handling the situation. A weak woman would hide it and and in some way make it her fault. Pray, take care of you and yours, and dump his azz!!!
instead of sending an email from the emergency room she needs to take what happened to her more seriously and plot her escape and if shes serious she need to press charges against her husband and get a divorce
DOmestic violence is never the answer. My prayers are with at the difficult time. I pray that you look ahead and not back. I cant imagine what you might be going through but keep in mind its something better out there.
sweetie you already know waht to do, maybe hearing from someone esle’s perspective may give you the strength to do what needs to be done. if all else, crack his ass when he ain’t paying no attention and then call the police cus you all you’ll have to do is say youre scared and you’ll get away with it
You never know what someone is going through. We laugh and joke here and some may go home to this everyday.
Hey Snooty
Is calling a woman weak who hasn’t found her strength/self esteem or what have you to leave a DV situation the best choice of words #justsaying sounds like more verbal abuse on top of the physical abuse. Maybe its just me idk
MrsH, my heart just sunk, and tears welled up in my eyes. Sister, it’s time to make a move as others have stated. You, nor your daughter, deserve this. My heart goes out to you and your baby because when mama isn’t doing well, baby isn’t either. I know you are keeping her safe and sound, but your well-being is the most important for the both of you. You did not deserve this.
God will truly give you the strength to do what you need to do, and you have people here on SR who really care and will continue to encourage you. I pray you also have family and friends who will see you through as well.
God bless you to the utmost, Mrs.H. I know you will be all right!
Keep you head up and keep it moving Miss. A man that loves you, will never hit you.
To the ONLY negative person I’ve seen on this post so far, shame on you
First and foremost I would like to thank ALL of you guys for your encouraging words of support. It means a lot to me right now.
I went to the courthouse this morning and filed for a protective from abuse order, which was granted by the judge on a temporary basis. The hearing for the permanent order will be held on May 12th.
I was a little uneasy leaving the sheriffs’ office because they were unable to locate him at the jail to serve him with the papers. Something told me to call the social worker whom I had spoken with yesterday at the hospital. I was able to verify that he was admitted yesterday afternoon after they came to our home and arrested him because he had sustained a broken wrist and hand from the force he delivered when he punched me.
My daughter and I are safely resting from all the chaos at my mom’s house. Even though the temporary restraining order serves as an eviction for him effective immediately, I decided to be close to my family right now.
I would like to thank Sandrarose for giving me the opportunity to share my story and I sincerely hope that if anyone is going through a similar situation that they get out immediately. And once again thank you ALL for your words of support.
God Bless!
Jennifer
P.S.
Sandra, I’m gonna need a new screen name because MrsHawthorne is officially a part of my past.
May 4, 2010 at 2:45 pm
instead of sending an email from the emergency room she needs to take what happened to her more seriously and plot her escape and if shes serious she need to press charges against her husband and get a divorce
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She was brave enough to put her face out there for all to see. I say good for her and this is what I call a “paper trail”. Best wishes to you and it’s time that we start to vaule our worth and kick our abusers to the curb. We no don’t have to be victims but survivors.
This is sad !!!!! I wish you the best and please move foward , no man should ever put his hands on you !!!!!
Good luck to her and I’m sorry for what she’s been through. But to mimic someone else’s sentiments, why such a public forum? I know we all handle stress differently. But should she not be contacting her family and plotting ways to pick up the pieces rather than sending her photo and email to Sandra? It’s not being negative, I’m sure more than a couple ppl were wondering the same thing.
Wow. I was in a marriage that sounds too familiar to yours. I pray that you will seek God’s wisdom and hear his voice. I spent so many of my years forgetting who I was, so I could remember who he was. I don’t know the situation or circumstance, but I know the pain. I have been seperated from him for two years and recently finalized my divorce. There were times when I wanted to go back because I felt so lonely. God was my help! You have to just hold on. I started loving myself again and figuring out what I wanted and liked. It’s been on every since! I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about myself.
*Leave and start telling on them! Call the cops, big brother, daddy, mama, cousin, fire department and/or neighborhood watch. Abusers typically don’t want people to know about their “other side.” They get away with abuse so often because WE dont tell anybody until its too late.
Wow…You are in my prayers. I hope that you will have the strength to leave this situation and do what’s best for you.
I do feel bad for this reader. I hope you recover and find the strength to get out but I am in a tough situation. She stated the whole Chris Brown situation because we don’t know what all happen…but I feel we don’t know what all happen in this case or any DV case.
I just fell out with a friend because of what she did and I didnt agree with it. Her babydad was cheating…so she bleaches all of his clothes. I’m there..I’m watching this…He comes in and headed straight to his room bc he already knew what was gonna happen. She starts going off gettin in his face. He see’s his clothes and starts callin her a crazy B. and going off on her for doing that to his clothes. So she starts punchin him like real punches while he is duckin her. I am tryin to get her to stop she wont. She grabbed a lamp and was about to go across this dudes head when he grabs her arm turns her around and puts her in this choke hold. Not a hard one…he was using restraint…trust me. The girl is big heavy handed and wild! lol He pulls her hair a little and said “when I let you go stop the bs..im leaving” Did she…no…she starts swingin on him again so then he grabs her by the neck shakes her a little and pushes her against the wall. She calls the police and tries to get him arrested on DV charges. WHAT. I told the cops the truth and now she mad. She was beatin the mess out of this dude bc she was mad and he protected his self and she wants to send him to jail. That is not fair. LIKE THE READER SAID…NO ONE SHOULD TOUCH THE OTHER PERSON PERIOD..BEIN MAN OR WOMAN. I watch Maury (i know right…dont judge me..lol) and when women catch their spouses cheating the first thing they do is smack them and hit them. Let a man do that…the world would go crazy. I am sick of woman wanting equal rights and all this other crap…but can’t take the heat that comes with it. I don’t know..if i am wrong let me know. I can take it
My heart goes out to her & I hope that when she leaves the hospital, she makes immediate provisions to find a safe haven. I also hope that she reported this incident to the police. The hospital may have done it for her. As a 911 Operator, I hear & see domestic issues on a daily basis & it rarely changes. I know her husband is supposed to protect her but clearly he’s not, so what is he good for? It’s going to be hard to leave lil mama, but someone has to put your safety first & if he doesn’t… you must! XOXO
wow that was long…my fault..lol.
@ Anna, I agree with you. I guessn there was more than on negative comment because I totally missed that one. How rude!!!
Good Luck MsH
Jennifer
Thanks for sharing your story you never know who your story will help. I pray he gets the help he clearly needs as well to become a better man. Glad that you are ok and safe.
wow. Hope you don’t have to go through this again and find peace. Hope you press charges on him because he needs to own up to this. I never knew this whole time Mrs. Hawthorne. You’re p.s. rings a bell. Take care
Praying for your family. I went thru this…He just didnt seem to get that we were over.
Wow, its just so sad that a man still think its right to put his hands on a woman. I will always stand up for any woman that going through this. Its is not right. No excuse. Shame on any man that feels the need to hit a woman..
@speaknoevil
No, you weren’t in the wrong. I’m glad you told the truth. Not many friends would have enough balls to go against a friend. Eventually she will forgive you—-hopefully.
Broken wrist and hand? So glad you found the strength to leave.
OMG!!! I am over here balling. I know what you are going through and I have been where you are but know that it get’s greater later. Lean on the Lord and he will provide. He will never leave you nor foresake you.
I will continue to pray for you and your baby as you begin the healing process. All I ask is that you never go back like I did. It took me years but I am free and better than ever and you will be too. Stay strong and be blessed
Yeah no one deserves this mess….will be sending up prayers honey…god bless
GOD Bless you
Leave him and don’t be scared to stay gone. Buy a gun. Be strong.
@Jennifer, I am very happy that you are with mom, safe and sound! You and daughter are on your way to a better life. I’m sure it’s an emotional journey, but hopefully, like others have said, you’ll find solice in knowing that you aren’t alone when it comes to DV. Hopefully, they will keep his abusive behind locked up.
People – men and women – need to keep their hands to themselves!
Anna says:
~~~~~~~~~~
She was brave enough to put her face out there for all to see. I say good for her and this is what I call a “paper trail”. Best wishes to you and it’s time that we start to vaule our worth and kick our abusers to the curb. We no don’t have to be victims but survivors.
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We really dont know whose who behind the gravi, behind the usernames…her post and her boldness to put herself out there, could very well change the course of someone lurking or one of our very own SR Fam members……I for one applaud you. I for one appreciate your message. I for one am proud of your courage Formally known as Mrshawthorne.
Speechless, I hope this woman finds the courage to leave and stay gone. If somebody is abusing you in any form mental, physical, or verbal you need to go immediately.
I am so sorry to hear this. I, just like others , has been abused by a spouse. It hasnt happened since 2003( I actually had to get him while he slept) but the emotional abuse was still there. Yes, it was very hard to leave but I left him 4 years ago and never looked back.
As the day is long, there is someone out there going thru the same thing; I’m sure of it. Perhaps your email will be the catalyst needed to get them to leave. Thank you Ms H for sharing your story. My prayers are with you!!!
And thanks to the Sandrarose community for provided support to this young lady when she reached out to you. It warms my heart to its core to see there are still people who geniunely care about their fellow man.
@speaknoevil…I can kind of see where you are coming from, BUT :lolol: a man knows his strength, 9 times out of 10, if a female punches a dude, he isn’t going to be hurt. But 10 times out of 10, if a male punches a female, then she IS going to be hurt. I just don’t see that as being equal.
that argument to me is kind of like the argument that killers and robbers should be punished the same. A killer is doing more damage than a robber, why should they be punished the same? In this situation, a man is doing more damage than a female, why should it be treated the same?
But ladies, although I am one that tends to want to fight whenever I get mad (male or female), I don’t approve of or think it is right for a female to beat up on a male. If you love each other, violence should never come to play in your relationship.
thanks ksmommy05
:hugs: @Jennifer.
We should help you pick a newer, cooler, jerk-free screen name!
I don’t know this person but I am definitely praying for her and her situation.
I have no words. My heart and my spirit goes out to this young lady for her well-being of great love and health. I pray that God be with her and touch in a way that bring goodness to her out of this situation.
You are in my prayers. I dealt with the same thing and left that asshole and never looked back. I learned the hardway that if they do it once they will do it again. Stay strong sister
My Prayers is with you hun. I too have been through this and I applaud you for deciding this is the end because far too many stay. Keep ya head up….
Thank you for sharing. It is my hope that because of your courage to tell others your story, those currently suffering in silence will realize that they do not have to.
Jennifer –
It takes alot to open up about a situation like this to ppl you hardly even know. I am praying for you and your family. You will get thru this! God Bless & keep your head up!
If there’s anything I can personally do, please get my contact info from Sandra.
My prayers are with you and your daughter. Both of you deserve better than what you have. Nobody deserves what you’ve been through and you are taking a step forward by sharing your story. YOU ARE STRONG!!!! You can fight any fight. STAY STRONG!
u/ur daughter are in my prayers. I pray that GOD will give u the strength/courage to continue to move forth w/o this man
PLEASE GET OUT NOW, and Get Help. He does not LOVE you…………he loves HIMSELF.
Any man punching on a woman is mentally unstable…………GET OUT NOW
@ms.truth…all men are not as strong as all women. i know that for a fact. but for the most part it is. But like with your example of a killer or robber…I don’t get how it relates. A man should not hit a woman not matter what and vice versa. If you are hitting a man bc you are mad, then you are no better then the man who beat this woman in this post. No different.
I just read your comment and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please, please leave, and think of you and your baby’s well being. It is not worth the hurt and pain to stay and deal with this. Love should never hurt, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
I, and I am sure many others here on this site, do not want to hear about something worse happening. Please keep the strength to stay away. I will
for you and your family.
Please be strong. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to email me at mirsmommy0806@yahoo.com
Oh my. I will pray for you and your daughter my dear. I’m sorry you had to go through this. You truly deserve someone better hun. And thank you for being so brave to share your story. I wish you well.
I am praying for you. I am sorry that you are going through such a terrible thing. Please do the right thing and don’t second guess yourself. You are right NO ONE has the right to put their hands on anyone. Be blessed and stay strong.
@blackbarbie I am in the A as well if you hear from Jennifer and she needs help let me know.
Auntie this is when you need a paypal acct so those who want to donate can do so. You know its a blessing to be a blessing
checking to see if my gravatar works with the new site.
who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.
Wow a broken wrist, what a punk.. Glad u have the strength to move on, all the best to u and ur daughter!!!
@ Daisy… Will do!
speaknoevil…I can kind of see where you are coming from, BUT a man knows his strength, 9 times out of 10, if a female punches a dude, he isn’t going to be hurt. But 10 times out of 10, if a male punches a female, then she IS going to be hurt. I just don’t see that as being equal. that argument to me is kind of like the argument that killers and robbers should be punished the same. A killer is doing more damage than a robber, why should they be punished the same? In this situation, a man is doing more damage than a female, why should it be treated the same?
But ladies, although I am one that tends to want to fight whenever I get mad (male or female), I don’t approve of or think it is right for a female to beat up on a male. If you love each other, violence should never come to play in your relationship.
********************************
I agree with speak no evil. I watched my childhood best friend stab her boyfriend in the back 2 times with a big kitchen knife and he never in there relationship hit her and then he didn’t press charges and after he got stiched came home to her (crazy). And my brother in law was killed by an ex in a club, she stabbed him in the heart and he never hit her. DV is both ways but people seem to think it’s cute when the women is the one being violent.
Although a man is stronger EVERYONE has a snapping point. What if the dude is trying to fend the girl off and after so much he just snaps? And especially if these hitting spells are the norm for the girl, then what? BTW, the tissue in the face is soft so man or women can do damage by hitting someone there.
At the end of the day EVERYONE needs to keep their hands to themselves.
As far as the analogy of a killer and a robber, well depending on what you steal from a person, they are one in the same.
Someone PLEASE tell me LuvKaya is a NEWBIE!!!!!! Because your ass asking for it!
@speaknoevil…I just don’t feel that a man hitting on a woman should be treated the same as a woman hitting on a man, in general. Neither is right, but I just don’t feel it’s the same thing. As far as the killer and robber, I was helping to explain why I feel the way I do. I don’t feel that a killer and robber should be treated the same because one does more damage than the other. Same thing with men and women. And if it’s a woman more powerful than a man, than yes, she should be treated the same as a man who has more power than a woman… My opinion though. Everybody not going to agree.
that’s the way world operates.
I pray that she leans on God for strength during and trying time, and that she leaves this person. Please beleive me honey God will send you someone else who is better for you and who knows that the power of love is not through his fist. God bless and take care.
LuvKaya says:
May 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm
who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.
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What an insensitive comment to make!!
Some things I will never understand.
Lawd, be a muzzle on some people.
@ Sandra,
Why is my comment awaiting moderation??? Maybe because I put my email address there???
Until my comment is approved, @ Jennifer,
I just read your comment and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please, please leave, and think of you and your baby’s well being. It is not worth the hurt and pain to stay and deal with this. Love should never hurt, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
I, and I am sure many others here on this site, do not want to hear about something worse happening. Please keep the strength to stay away. I will for you and your family.
I left my email for you in my previous comment which is awaiting moderation, so I’m not sure if you can see it. If you ever need to talk, or even vent, please feel free to do so.
not a newbie per se.
statistically speaking abused women always go back. you offer wisdom and advice and it gets ignored. *whistles*
@Daisy, you’re so positive!!
I bet you have all kinds of good energy around you.
Damn girl… i hope everythign works out well with you! I have to Thank the Good LORD that I’ve nevere been with a man that dared to lay his hands on me for the hell of it!
GlamCeo, just ignore the foolishness. Silence is indeed the best answer for a fool in any and every situation
My prayers are with you and your daughter always! Just keep looking forward and never look back!!
I hope you get better and leave the situation….cause you might not get to talk about the next attack hun….
Prayers are with you and your family. Be strong and be careful
Wow….ur story is very touching Jennifer. You are already in my prayers and you WILL make it through. Just continue to take each day as a step and of course keep yourself uplifted in prayer. May God continue to bless you and give you the strength and courage needed during this difficult time.
@KaraZ you’re right, what was I thinking???? lol
@ Jennifer
I am praying for not only the physical, but mental and emotional wounds to heal. My mom was beaten so bad that to this day my step-dad has a metal plate in his hand from when he broke it striking her in the head. It took her 13 years for her to leave and caused issues for both me and my younger brother.
Leave now while your daughter is still too young to understand what is happening….I still think about that day often and how scared I felt. You are so much stronger than you know by just allowing your story and face to be seen and heard! We dont have to know you to care about you and you have plenty of support and prayers/well wishes here. God Bless and continue to be strong.
Mskay>>>>>>>here<<<<<< stay out my head
Daisy says:
May 4, 2010 at 3:36 pm
@blackbarbie I am in the A as well if you hear from Jennifer and she needs help let me know.
Auntie this is when you need a paypal acct so those who want to donate can do so. You know its a blessing to be a blessing
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That would be great!! I support that
@KaraZ you can DM me if she needs any kind of help. I can use my resources. Thanks!
@Cinn we are >>>>here<<<< stay outta my head!
Just like that racist email girl from Harvard…let these idiots “speak” so we can out their asses. I hate a coward with a keyboard.
@Al…of course when you bring in different factors such as weapons or someone who continues to provoke the other person, that’s a different story. What I am speaking on is when a male and female simply argue and one goes overboard by abusing the other one with their hands, usually, the male causes more damage than the female.
@LUV KAYA
“who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.”
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Normally I would agree with you but he was already working on his second chance…
That’s terrible. I do counseling and that’s one thing I stress to my kids violence is NOT okay. My mom went through a similar situation when I was younger with my dad. It takes a lot of courage to leave and I hope that leaving will lead her to a brighter future.
Auntie this is when you need a paypal acct so those who want to donate can do so. You know its a blessing to be a blessing
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That would be great!! I support that
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Yup, that does sound like a great idea.
LuvKaya says:
May 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm
who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.
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Really?…I bet that just cracked you up as you typed that…. How about we take a bet that your ass will get clowned up in here!! Show some respect shawty…you don’t want it up in here.
I hope all is well with you and you are in my prayers, even though you may not leave him this time, eventually it has to happen, just look at all the love and sympathy you received he is not the only one who loves you, leave and soon.
Well said. @ggouch.
@Reader (aka New Beginnings)
Lift your head to the Lord and ask him to protect you while giving you the strength to move forward in life without him…It’s very easy to say leave but the act of leaving is still a sad situation and can make you want to think twice about it I don’t know your situation personally however I know how going back and forth can be-Not sure what your husband’s dilemma is and why he would want to attack you but pray for him also it’s therapeutic to let the anger go…being with family can be beneficial use this time to heal yourself and don’t forget to Lift your head and look to the Lord….
LuvKaya says:
May 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm
who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.
~~~~~~~
I doubt it. When you don’t tell you stay longer from fear and shame. When you tell, it sets you free to move on. Everybody knows your secret, going back or allowing him back would be the real shame.
@Al…of course when you bring different factors into the situation such as weapons or provocation, then it’s a different situation. I was speaking about a simple argument between a male and female and one decides to abuse the other with their hands. Usually, a male causes more damage than a female.
ughh….did my comments really posting twice.
they weren’t showing up on my blackberry or computer.
I am just speechless that he broke his wrist and hand from hitting you. My heart goes out to you. You and your baby girl are in my prayers. Stay strong!
I am distraught.
Lord, please please give my dear sister the strength she needs to rid her life of anyone who does not love, cherish and honor her. Surround her with people who will help her through the process of healing. Let her know that she is fully loved and accepted by you and her blog family and that this is not your destiny for her life. In the power and authority of Jesus Christ, I pray.
I am praying for you. Please contact me at attorneymom96@yahoo.com.
Wow. To think I watched The Burning Bed last night. I hope that you find the strength to leave this situation permanently, for you and especially for your daughter. Thank you for not being ashamed to tell your story and bring awareness to the realness of domestic violence.
ooooooooooo…so now you have to click for newer comments. hmph.
WOW, who let the loser in here???
@MKM and cinnamon…that was freaky!
I am really sorry to about this. I have been there and know what you are going through. I use to be the one telling women I knew what they should do, I’ve learned from my ordeal, it’s so easy to speak from the outside. NO ONE should have to go through this, male or female.
TRUE STORY!!!
so where did he have to hit her too break his wrist cause i broke mine in a car accident and it a pretty hard impact?????
Yup yup @ mskay…..too funny.
I just want to say I think we have A LOT of people on this blog with good hearts and spirits. I luuuubs my SR fam
Hello Jen, I saw your story this weekend and didn’t weigh in since all my opinions were expressed as well. Stay at your mom’s with your kid or whatever you need to do. I’m told He looks out for babies and fools so your daughter should be fine but don’t you be the other by returning home.
Uhm, Miss LuvKaya, that wasn’t nice. While some women do return to their abusers it could have something to do with the negativity and misunderstandings of the people they turn to for help. I, for one, am glad YOU didn’t weigh in this weekend.
For those who wondered why she went public, I’m gonna say that’s part of her strength to leave. Lots of times abusers get away with it because the victims are silent and unaware of the support system around them. By going publc she sends a cry for help, see who rallies around her and realizes the shame is not her own.
And oh yeah… Hey everybody!
ms.truth says: @speaknoevil…I can kind of see where you are coming from, BUT a man knows his strength, 9 times out of 10, if a female punches a dude, he isn’t going to be hurt. But 10 times out of 10, if a male punches a female, then she IS going to be hurt. I just don’t see that as being equal.
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hypocritical.
I am distraught.
Lord, please please give my dear sister the strength she needs to rid her life of anyone who does not love, cherish and honor her. Surround her with people who will help her through the process of healing. Let her know that she is fully loved and accepted by you and her blog family and that this is not your destiny for her life. In the power and authority of Jesus Christ, I pray.
I am praying for you. Please contact me at attorneymom96 at yahoo dot com.
@Free…feel free to elaborate.
@ mstruth……yes it was. But great minds think alike
Some of you are heartless for real. This is not the time for any ignorant comments.
Anna says:
LuvKaya says: who wants to place a bet that they will be back together next week.
~~~~~~~
I doubt it. When you don’t tell you stay longer from fear and shame. When you tell, it sets you free to move on. Everybody knows your secret, going back or allowing him back would be the real shame.
****************************************************************
it’s hard to tell. i had a friend who everybody (including family) knew was getting beat but she just had to make up her mind to let him go and she finally did after 10 years. it’s something that i can’t understand but it’s never happened to me. this n***** was a fool too, absolutely nothing going for himself. one day she just woke up and left.
I can kind of see where you are coming from, BUT a man knows his strength, 9 times out of 10, if a female punches a dude, he isn’t going to be hurt. But 10 times out of 10, if a male punches a female, then she IS going to be hurt. I just don’t see that as being equal.
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Where the hail these statistics comin from?
“10 times out of 10” WTF?
Naw, neither should hit each other. End of story. SMH.
I grew up in a household where DV was prevalent so for those who can look at this situation and find something negative to say to the victim… GOD BLESS YOU and I pray you are never in this situation… good day!
and to the Ex- Mrs. Hawthore… i will keep you and your daughter in my prayers and rememeber there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
ms.truth says: @Free…feel free to elaborate.
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it should go without saying that abuse is abuse. even the original poster said NO ONE has the right to put hands on somebody else. that includes a female hitting a male. the degree of pain one feels should have no bearing on whether it’s justifiable or not. verbal abuse is not physically painful but it has a mental effect. hitting someone may not be physically painful but it has a mental effect also. and once you start hitting, you don’t stop. and the receiver does feel something. i don’t understand why you think it’s acceptable for a woman to hit a man.
Man, I just don’t care™ says:
May 4, 2010 at 4:21 pm
I can kind of see where you are coming from, BUT a man knows his strength, 9 times out of 10, if a female punches a dude, he isn’t going to be hurt. But 10 times out of 10, if a male punches a female, then she IS going to be hurt. I just don’t see that as being equal.
______________________________________________________________________________
Where the hail these statistics comin from?
“10 times out of 10? WTF?
Naw, neither should hit each other. End of story. SMH.
——————–
why are you taking my stats as literal???
I didn’t cite any sources, which if I give some real stats I will, so therefore, I was just making a point. I’ve never known a male to hit a female during an argument and she not get hurt…I’m just speaking from what I know. and as I said in a previous statement, it’s MY OPINION. everybody, as a matter of fact, no one has to agree with me. 
Where are my comments?
Never. I see them. I had to refresh the page.
To whomever this woman is, may God bless you and keep you on your journey OUT of this situation. I’ll say a prayer for you; pray your strength as you EXIT from this. God bless you!
Oops meant have good hearts and spirits.
@Free…maybe you missed the rest of my comment? In case you did, this is what I also said.
But ladies, although I am one that tends to want to fight whenever I get mad (male or female), I don’t approve of or think it is right for a female to beat up on a male. If you love each other, violence should never come to play in your relationship.
Neither is right, but I just don’t feel it’s the same thing.
@attorneymom, hit “newer comments”
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope things will get better. I read your first email a few hours ago about what happened this weekend and wondered what was going on with you. Keep your head up and take care of yourself and your daughter.
@Ms. Truth, thanks.
the father is watching and has sent his angels to protect you. the family is praying for you and the message has been received. now walk in faith get the lords footprints guide you. god bless my sister.
oh and mkm and cinn yall asses gettin emails right now! yall just cant act right for shyt!
I wish you well my dear. You have to remove yourself from that situation because chances are it will happen again and maybe at a higher degree. Why do men do this? I will never understand why?
Sis, it isn’t your fault. You’re doing all the right things to remove yourself from the situation. As hard as it is to do it, press forward and leave. Especially if you are out of immediate harms way. You’re serving as an example to many who will not and acannot leave because of their fear and broken spririt.
My heart and prayers go out to you and yours…
If it’s any consolation, if we were friends, I’d put on my black jogging suit and wait until dark and light that n*gga ass up for ya! We don’t play that where I’m from.
AYYYYYE @ Brown, what did I do?
@Mstruth, that was freaky! LOL!
I hope that you drop him faster than a hot potato! You do not have to take this crap from any man! As a person who grew up in a home with domestic violence, please find the strength to leave. God will carry you! Def in my prayers =)
wait… I missed somethin freaky?????
I am a loyal reader don’t comment often but you & ur family are in prayers..
Oh Brown!
am i the only one that don’t see any bruises or is this not the pic from the er?????
@ Ms. Truth, please stop with the fcuketry, I mean really.
First off, that is how it generally starts, first the hitting and when that goes uncheck the female/male starts picking up stuff, using weapons and destroying property.
Second off, just like rape is not about sex, abuse not about inflicting pain, it’s about control. The person getting hurt is just a byproduct of the other person hitting them in an attempt to try and control them. For instance, my ex husband didn’t want me to go anywhere or talk to anyone so I would get my hair done and get dressed and he would throw a big cup of orange soda in my hair and all over my clothes, or when he spit in my face and told me I wasn’t sh*t and no one would want me. It didn’t physically hurt but it was abusive. He wanted me to do what he wanted me to do. GET IT?
So it doesn’t matter if pain is being afflicted abuse is about breaking a person’s spirit so they will be obedient to you. And it is wrong! Just like people may read this and get help, there are also women that will get validation off the BS that you are spewing about it not being the same. IT IS THE SAME and IT IS WRONG!
And FYI how many of us were taught if someone hits you hit them back as young children? Well if a woman slaps the he.ll out of a man, it may be an automatic response that he hits her back without even thinking. Plus you never know what demons a person is dealing with, they may be a potential abuser or grew up in an environment where abuse is the norm but have never acted on it and they don’t need some maniac women hitting on them all cuz she mad and only weighs a 120 pounds and he weighs 200 pounds.
Ok now I’m done. I normally don’t do this but DV issues are too close to my heart. I have been abused the better part of my life and seen the other side where good men have some crazy azz chick hitting on them.
Peace and Blessings.
oh well I’m out so yall have a good one!
Wow, I am so sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered. Keep your head up and do not look back. You are a strong woman who deserves so much better. No woman deserves that type of treatment. I wish you well and I will keep you in my prayers.
Sending prayers for strength and resilience to you and your daughter. <3
God bless you. You are in my prayers. I’m glad you had the courage to leave. I pray God continues to give you the strength you need to overcome this situation.
Been there, done that and I hope the OP never goes back. Usually, the woman will go back 3 to 5 times before she decides she’s had enough. I know, because that was me. You would heave never know by looking at me that my ex-husband was beating my ass. We were the perfect family but he was volatile, controlling and horribly insecure. I found the courage to get away and I never looked back. It’s easy for women to fall into this trap cause the abusive husband/boyfriend is super duper nice and then BAM out of no where the monster appears and it’s all down hill after that.
I hope the OP gets help, she’s going to need it.
People are getting ready to start knocking “LuvKaya” but you gotta keep it real with yourself. You know what she is sayin is true. But in this case I think its different. It’s probably not his first time but it seems its her last time takin it! GO GIRL!
@Al, you can call it ‘fvkerty’ or whatever you want. It’s my opinion, and I do understand why you would get mad cause I stated my opinion.
Anything I say from here on out would be repeating what I already said and I didn’t read the rest of your comment so all I can say is ok.
Meant don’t* understand
OMG-Even though this is happening to you, you have to muster up the courage to love yourself more and LEAVE- you- no one for that matter deserves abuse- please dont tolerate it. SAVE YOUR LIFE BECUASE YOU ARE WORTH IT
IM PRAYING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW BABE- AND PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!!
WOW! I’m so sorry Jennifer, but I comend you on your strength and your decision to leave. Much love and support to you. God will not let you down, its already done.
Amen.
Jennifer says:
P.S.
Sandra, I’m gonna need a new screen name because MrsHawthorne is officially a part of my past.
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You are so strong. I commend you for being brave enough to write in and share your experience with your sister readers. You can edit your profile to change how your username displays by selecting a different nickname. Your username that you registered with is permanent.
I read MrsH story in the comment section back when she posted the OT comments but everyone was already gone so I couldn’t chime in.
Sista I am so sorry this has happened to you but I applaud your courage in not only speaking up but providing your very personal photo to show your husband’s cowardness. Stay stong and keep moving forward WITHOUT him in your life.
Some of you bishes need Jesus SMH
I dont know where you live- seems like some of these sista on this site has your back, but there are community programs that will and can help you- especially if children are involved-
Oh and big ups to all of the other women who have also shared their personal stories of abuse on here as well. You never know who you may help.
Wow I didn’t even know this post was up. I pray for you Ms. H. Be strong
Wow this is surreal. Especially after reading the comment from sunday. We post so much here, and some of us for so long…that it feels like we all know each other, so it feels like it hits close to home. Wishing Jennifer the best, and it sounds like she’s on track to do whats best for and her daughter already.
Oh Jennifer… I am happy that you found a way out of your situation…I am glad you got the strength and courage to leave and and Yes You deserve a new name you have been emancipated… Girl..I wish you the best and God will bless you with the right person to treat you as you should be treated like a Queen…
God bless you I am so proud you opened up about this…You have given someone strength to do better..and not to settle for less
And to the fool who said she will go back…do you personally know her that well that you can predict the future of what she will do …GTFOH some idiots crack me up….
GET OUT NOW! HE WILL NOT STOP BEATIBG YOU! Prayer is a powerful thing!
Dear God, please give this young lady the Strength and Courage to stay strong and believe that there is a God who is able to heal all wounds. God deliver her from this situation and rain blessings upon her, in yor name I pray. AMEN.
LMAO @ LuvKaya
but the issue isn’t funny- but I guess you shut that down real quick- lol
weather she’s battling staying or leaving, as Black women, we need to show support to one another. I haven’t experienced domestic violence, but I’m smart enough to know that the abuse is not only physical but also mental and emotional. Meaning this is most likely to be a very touchy subject for the victim.. she’s reading the comments… lets be respectful- we’re all adults in here…
I rarely comment but this really moved me. @MrsH- I wish you all the best and will keep and your fam in my prayers. Keep looking to God for strength and the ability to make the right decision regarding this situation.
Best,
Bella
yeah, yeah, yeah…wake me IF she LEAVES him…or will she go back for more…..
@MistressD, I guess that’s why you are a mistress and not a MRS…I never comment only lurks but whether she LEAVES or STAYS was that comment really necessary? It amazes me that you took the time to log in and actually post that.
God bless you mama. Nobody deserves abuse..Nobody.
Jennifer,
We spoke Sunday and my heart went out to you…now my eyes are filled with tears. I pray and know that God will keep you and your daughter in his arms and give you strength too be a strong mother. Its time to go to Atlanta and make a fresh start. I will continue to keep you in my prayers sister.
Sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad u went ahead and took the next appropriate steps before your situation could have gotten out of control. I wish u and ur daughter the best and will most definitely keep u n my prayers. No one derserves to go through this. (And u r 1 brave woman, to display ur photo).
Men who beat women up are the SCUM OF THE EARTH!!
I was watching VH1 recently and the story about Big Punisher and how he mercilessly, cruelly and relentlessly abused his wife, and the mother of his children, just made me PHYSICALLY ILL.
I am SO GLAD HE DIED!! He did his family a HUGE FAVOR!!
I hope he is burning right now in hell as I write this!!
SCUM OF THE EARTH!
@Mskay thanks I have my flaws like everybody else
I have just always been into helping and giving back. You never know when you will/may need a helping hand.
Everything thats “true” doesnt need to be said or can be said with tact and class. In her original comment she said he struck her before she hit him back they “fought” she left and they separated #thatisall
I agree that sometimes silence is the best answer, but sometimes you just have to call a spade a shovel and best believe this is one such time. Statistic or no statistic it is insensitive, callous and downright cold-hearted to suggest taking a bet on this woman’s misfortune, especially when this is the time she needs encouragement and support most. I hope and pray that you nor yours will never have to experience the terrors of DV, but you will at least cultivate some compassion. Jennifer, even though some of us don’t know you, keep your head up. Lots of people are praying for you and I know God will deliver and give you the strength to overcome.
@ Daisy, not sure if that is directed at me but I have not read nor replied to any post regarding Mrs.H’s situation. I am responding to a comment made by speak no evil and Ms Truth. So in her situation I don’t know who hit who first or what is going on. I feel like what she is going thru is a personal matter and would never judge her specific situation because no one but the parties involved really knows what really happened.
I don’t post ofter Hi to my Sandra Rose fam, praying for you!
MistressD says:
May 4, 2010 at 6:43 pm
yeah, yeah, yeah…wake me IF she LEAVES him…or will she go back for more…..
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Why would she go through all this knowing that not all on his site are empathic? Why would she say that she has a temp. protecion order and is not in the home they shared together if she was not fed up? Many women cry wolf way too much. Who the heck cries wolf on a site where “we are family”, if she was not truly asking for help/advice? I really don’t know many battered women who want this much attention. Not sure if the man who did this to her is the father of her daugher or not but that is not the case. The man who did this has family just as she does. Why would one take the time to showcase their business online if she was not willing to leave, and she may have even opened more wounds in some of us. I am apart of the “been there done that club”. It’s peace of mind to not wake up bruised, a mentally broken hearted and knowing you have to pick up the pieces for you and the kids and to not really know where you are going. If you don’t get out, revenge is the next step . If they can’t get to you, they will sure get your family. To me this is her “paper trail”. We should only be praying for her and her family and pray her husband leaves her and her family alone.
@Brownsugarpoet
Just to play devil’s advocate. Maybe he broke his wrist hitting the wall or some other object while they were fighting? And I do see a little bruising beneath her eye. Could be the lighting, though.
Just because I felt so lost in the post, i went back and read the original post everyone was referencing. Each one of us will have our own opinions that will differ. All we know is what she is telling us. I bet the story he’s giving his friends and family, is in such a way that is sympathetic to him also. Frankly, none of this is really us our business. But since it was put out there, i guess we have a right to comment.
Jumpoffs are really out of order this year…SMH
I pray that you continue with the strength and courage to leave him!!!
No one deserves to be abused!!
You will be in my prayers..Stay strong. I am glad you found someone to talk to like Sandra Rose and her readers..Stay strong and be blessed..
Definitely in my prayers, Be strong. Peace & Blessings…
Shauny……..fa real…….I swear
taking over. I think I need to order some muzzle’s by the dozen SMH…..
i will definately keep you in my prayers
sad, keep your head up.
I am praying for you. This is NOT an easy situation. God will never put more on us than we can bear. Take this as an eye opener and a chance to move towards a new, peaceful life. Surround yourself with positive people that wants the best for you. Keep God first and continue to pray for strength.
Who are all of these new people?
I was lurking over the weekend and saw the original convo. I didn’t post but I did pray for your situation. Never did I expect to log on and see this. I will continue to keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Be blessed all.
I pray she gets out. She is definitely in my prayers. Even her husband.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I just finished reading the conversation regarding your relationship from over the weekend…This really makes me sad that you are going thru so much and the fact that you are on medication that your doctor increased the dosage of just further indicates how much of toxic relationship this is. I’m sure you already know this but I will repeat what 90% of what everyone has already said on here, leave and don’t look back. By the looks of it your health can only get worse, that on top of the physical and emotional abuse will only drive you to an early grave (sorry to be so blunt but I believe in scare tactics when you are in desperate situations). You want to be the best mother you can be to your daughter and you can’t be that if you are running scared and also stressed. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING in this type of situation God’s stregth tends to carry us thru when we can’t carry ourselves. I will truly keep you in my prayers and as soon as I finish writing this I will pray over your situation. God bless!
My prayers are with you and your daughter Jennifer. Every move that you make should be in the best interest of your daughter first!!!! Continue to pray, I believe you did the best thing for you and your daughter’s sake, by leaving! Kudos and good luck!
May God give you the strength.
I need to know if you are okay!! Post a comment or send me a tweet or email.
Be strong! You are doing the right thing by leaving and turning to your family for support. It’s okay to cry, but let those tears be your strength.
I don’t know what resources your city/county has as far as assisting dv victims; but see if there are resources to assist you with relocation costs. Make sure that you follow up with the permamnent order of protection; have your children included as protected persons as well. Visitations rights can still be worked out; and that will be the only time he sees them.. yet he cannot physical abuse, threaten, or harass them.
Again, be strong and you have the prayers of your biological family, SR family and friends with you. God bless!
**Please check to see what resources there are to assist you in starting over.
Be strong and get out! DV is neither a joke or a game to be played with. It rarely gets better, only progressive worse.
Stay safe!
I will keep you in my prayers…God will lead you in the right direction to have the strengh to leave this marriage(if you are willing & ready to leave)….This is so sad…my cousin is in the same situation just that its her babydaddy & they are both violent towards each other….keep your head up & stay strong..do what’s best for YOU not what he tells you what’s best for the both of you…sending my love,higs,& prayer your way
Damn, I hate to see anyone get jumped on but is there a hind story to this? Just asking as there is always something that led up to these events and usually the only people who really know are those involved directly.
While I feel bad for the lady I mostly feel bad for any children involved. If you have children at home, whether it’s the man or woman, one should extricate themself from the home if you get even an inkling that some violence is about to pop off. How tramatic for the kids to bear witness to stuff like this.
That is just sorry, No Man should hit a women and vice versa, Keep yo damn hands to yourself, Real Talk. I wish a mofo would lay hands on any of my kids… I don’t care how grown they get and where they live. Its gone be some serious Furniture Moving around the world. Had to vent.. But to soon to be ex MsHawthorne Keep your head up and trust and believe in GOD and keep your friends and family close those who will help provide the support and assistance you need. Stay Blessed.
Jennifer–Good for you to get out now. Think about your daughter. That should always give you strength. I’m praying for you and your daughter. This is going to be a emotional rollercoaster but never give up!!
My prayers are with you and your daughter. I’ve been there before and wouldn’t wished this on my worst enemy. God Bless Jennifer!
Hold your head up because He has his hands on your life! You walked away, and that’s proof ur strong enough to move onward and upward. Look at all the people behind u and rooting for u. We’re all praying for u. Don’t worry about that sucka, he’ll get his.
My prayers go out to you and your family. Your situation is not an easy one, and you and your baby deserve better. Whatever the cause of the situation, you’re absolutely right – no one has the right to hit another person. IMO, violence committed by a man against a woman is just plain evil. Yes, he may need to get some help, but don’t let that be your concern. Take the necessary steps to protect yourself – you can pray for hubby from a distance.
Be strong, and God Bless!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!
I don’t have the words to express how grateful I am to have all of you guys wishing me and my daughter well despite our current circumstances. Between my immediate family, friends, and the sandrarose family my spirits are lifted to a high that warms my heart.
I am doing fine, still resting at my mom’s home until the court date next Wednesday. I have also decided to go ahead and make that move back to Atlanta, so within the next weeks I will begin to pick the pieces up and begin looking for employment there.
If itLs okay, I’d like to keep you guys updated with what’s going on.
God bless you all and a million thanks for for your support.
Jennifer
My heart goes out to you for what you have been going through. I am sending thoughts and prayers that things start to look better for you in the near future. It took courage and strengh to let us in and tell us your story and by doing that, you have blessed each one of us. Stay strong.
MrsH I wish you the best and I will keep your health, sanity, and well-being in my prayers. You are a very strong woman. As I read some of these comments, I realize that it is very easy for a person to sit behind a pc and type insensitive sarcasms and remarks but how hard it must have been for you to put your situation out here for everyone to see. Keep your head up and remember that you have LOTS of people praying for you.
Mrs.Hawthorne 77, I am sending up prayers for you and your daugther during this difficult time. I’m a Community Outreach Advocate for the largest domestic violence agency in Georgia ad would like to offer my assistance if needed. Not sure how to use this site so if you can contact me privately, please do so.
@LuvKaya. While true, this really wasnt the time or place for your statement.
I think it’s extremely courageous of you to tell your story. You’re in my prayers & I wish you the best.
I pray to GOd to give you the strength to leave and get yourself in a better space to allow happiness in once again.