Actress/singer Jada Pinkett-Smith has coined a new term for stepchildren. In a tweet she sent out over the weekend, Jada referred to her stepson Trey Smith as her “bonus-son.” Imagine being a child whose stepmom refers to you as a “bonus.”
Websters defines a ‘bonus’ as “Something that is welcome and often unexpected that accompanies and enhances something that is itself good.”
Moms, such as Tameka “Tiny” Harris (pictured above), happily accept their men’s children as their own. In the caption under the above photo, Tiny tweeted: “Damn my boys look good!” Tiny does not draw a distinction between her biological son, King Harris (front) and her stepson, Domani (in red jacket). They are both her sons as far as she’s concerned.
Similarly, Tiny’s husband, Tip Harris, refers to her daughter, Zonnique Pullins, as his own.
There’s an African motto that goes: “It takes a village to raise a child.” And the African proverb, ‘Omwana taba womoi,’ loosely translates to ‘A child belongs not to one parent or home.’
Tiny accepts the responsibility of helping to raise Domani regardless of the fact that Domani was conceived while Tiny was dating her husband T.I.
More from Sandrarose.com:
Sandra, I think you’re reading into this a tad bit much imo…
:eyeroll:
tsk tsk
reaching at its finest.
Hmmm.. not sure how I feel about this. I agree with it takes a village and all, and I don’t know how I feel about anyone claiming my kid as their kid, but then again … I would feel a way if .. nvm. To each its own, Jada aint mean no harm in that.
Don’t start none, won’t be none.
all i wanna know is, why does Trey have a song out?
the MG is beautiful
If you get a bonus at your job, wouldn’t you be dancing. If you got a bonus present, wouldn’t you be dancing. Same thing. A bonus is a WELCOMED addition.
Trey’s mom, or even Trey may not be comfortable with the title “mom”. Hopefully she is just being respectful of the boundaries and no ill will is meant. Btw, love your blog Sandra…gotta check in a couple times a day and be a lil nosey lol.
“Different strokes for different folks”!
or maybe Jada doesn’t want to take away from his birth mother and respects that Sheree is his mother…he is a bonus son…facts
Iyonah, I agree. Not sure how I would feel about another woman claiming my daughters as her own. Frankly, keeping it real…I prefer step or bonus if thats what suits your fancy but to CLAIM my children as your own likes there’s no clear distinction…HOUSTON, We may have a problem. #knowyourplace….
I think Jada is trying to be respectful of the fact that Trey HAS a mother. I’m happy that Tiny can call her stepson, “my boy” though. However, I don’t think Jada was trying to disrespect Trey in any way.
I’m coming from the fact that even though I’ve taken physical custody of my 2 year old niece recently, I’m not and never will be her “mother” because she has one and I have to respect that.
spongebobfan says:
all i wanna know is, why does Trey have a song out?
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cause his dad is Will Smith
Sandymae is REACHING!!!!!! But my co-worker calls her boyfriend’s son her STEP-MONSTER!
Your reaching Sandra.
Maybe because Trey’s REAL mom Sharee would put her shoe in Jada’s ass. JK I do always refer to mine as step-son, only because he was already 11 yrs old when I came thru the door.
My daddy’s wife CAN NOT stand for me to call her a stepmom. She’d rather be introduced by her name with no title or anything.. She simply calls me her daughter and that doesnt bother me… I cant just call her my mom though and especially so since my mom passed…
Jada went the PC route so as not to have folks coming for her. Dollar to a doughnut that she and Sheree have dscussed this and this is the compromise…
i personally dont like the terms “step” anything. especially when there is a close established relationship. i feel the same way about “1/2” siblings. ion agree with that terminology either. they still my peeps
Everyone has their “own thing”. Just because that is the way that Tiny does it in her house doesn’t mean that is the way Jada has to do it in her house. That is a cute nickname she made up for her stepson.
My kids’ sibilings call me their bonus mom.. :eyeroll:
stepmothers can’t win. they’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t
Me personally, I think the term ‘Step” anything is impersonal and sounds court appointed. I think they have an understanding of that term and thats why she uses it. My nephew calls my sisters husband “big guy” and he chose the name. SO, Im pretty sure it works for them.
S.N. I never thought I would see the day where someone’s morals and character is compared to that of a known ex drug dealer and ex felon, and his wife who sneaks in the jail to tickle the pickle
Dont ban me Auntie.
Im just doing what u do, observing the situation and reporting the facts 
I’ve taken physical custody of my 2 year old niece recently
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Ion think Jada meant any harm and I like how Tiny interacts with her step kids
Destinee says:
Everyone has their “own thing”. Just because that is the way that Tiny does it in her house doesn’t mean that is the way Jada has to do it in her house
Here we go..making something out of nothing again..
Fayyy Fayyy :wave:
tickle the pickle
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Angie
*walks u over to the pew & sits u down gently*
here suga have this fan &
OTB :2dance: sup bewski?
We are ((here)) @ 3halos. Its probably an accepted term by all, its not like his birth mother isn’t an active party in his life. And even if she was not, I am still not 100% comfortable with it. I have a family member who raised her sister after her their mom passed, and she was basically forced to call her sister mom, and her sisters husband dad. And ITS just not appropriate to exchange titles in certain scenarios. I don’t think a comparison between Tiny and Jada is warranted.
“I’m coming from the fact that even though I’ve taken physical custody of my 2 year old niece recently, I’m not and never will be her “mother” because she has one and I have to respect that.”
^^^

Shouldn’t Tiny be re-upping her azz injection shots?
Websters defines a ‘bonus’ as “Something that is welcome and often unexpected that accompanies and enhances something that is itself good.”
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by this definition of bonus u could think that Trey is welcome even though he was unexpected and enhances her life in a good way! @Sandra dont be so messy! I have custody of my cousin and even though i feel for him as I do my own sons, I still now that he had a Mother and that will always be his mother even if she is not with us anymore….
Harlem!
what it dewski?
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The Pu$$y Taste Scale:
Beyoncé: Cristal Champagne
Rihanna: A Delicious Barbadian Rum
Nicki Minaj: Strawberry Milkshake
Lana Del Rey: Pepsi Cola
Katy Perry: Curdled Milk
Ke$ha: Toilet Water
Lady Gaga: Bleach
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!!!!!! But my co-worker calls her boyfriend’s son her STEP-MONSTER!
^^
See that’s that ish I don’t like… lol.. seriously but playing but no, I am serious.
Sidebar: As awful of a message that Keef song is… I find myself using that phrase alot

She’s probably trying to be respectful to his biological mother.
S.N. I never thought I would see the day where someone’s morals and character is compared to that of a known ex drug dealer and ex felon, and his wife who sneaks in the jail to tickle the pickle
———————-
The reaching and the shade at the end hahahahahaha
@Fay, as long as Martin Luther Da kang is on one side of the fan and a local funeral home on the other, I shall sit in peace
We gonna get a Bey post in 5 4 3 2 1….the lovely couple lost the trademark battle for the name Blue Ivy!
Angiegirl says:
@Fay, as long as Martin Luther Da kang is on one side of the fan and a local funeral home on the other, I shall sit in peace
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Good old baptist church fans!!!!
lovezoe says:
If you get a bonus at your job, wouldn’t you be dancing. If you got a bonus present, wouldn’t you be dancing. Same thing. A bonus is a WELCOMED addition
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Thank You. My grand has a sister who I call my bonus Grand.
Milky that gravi
I like the term bonus… he is a welcomed surprise… shooo that’s a much better term than step… I am not something you stepped on to get to where you are…. Specially when they name these killing movies “The Stepfather”
Hey Everyone else that I hadn’t already spoken to today
Katy Perry: Curdled Milk
Ke$ha: Toilet Water
Lady Gaga: Bleach

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Damn what Katy Perry do
Ke$ha toilet water
Diva says:
Angiegirl says:
@Fay, as long as Martin Luther Da kang is on one side of the fan and a local funeral home on the other, I shall sit in peace
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Good old baptist church fans!!!!
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Yessssss Lawwwd!
,me shouting……..Diva get the white sheets. Dont want Bruh-Pastor to see my unmentionables
iyonah says:
!!!!!! But my co-worker calls her boyfriend’s son her STEP-MONSTER!
^^
See that’s that ish I don’t like… lol.. seriously but playing but no, I am serious.
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I know…I tell her she has gots to stop calling that boy that!
OTB
@TPTS LMAOOOO!!!
Angie gurrrrl yeen said nuffin but a werd mk? *saves the Mahalia Jackson one fa later*
Angiegirl says:
Diva says:
Angiegirl says:
@Fay, as long as Martin Luther Da kang is on one side of the fan and a local funeral home on the other, I shall sit in peace
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Good old baptist church fans!!!!
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Yessssss Lawwwd! ,me shouting……..Diva get the white sheets. Dont want Bruh-Pastor to see my unmentionables
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them sista be ready wif them white sheets!!!!
@Diva Yes girl… not cool. Even if he is a terror. You don’t breathe/speak life into that, if you think it.
@ANGIE GIRL
“S.N. I never thought I would see the day where someone’s morals and character is compared to that of a known ex drug dealer and ex felon, and his wife who sneaks in the jail to tickle the pickle ”
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Well, when you pay people enough to be your friend, who knows what all they would be willing to do for you.

@caramel I truly agree, but i have a stepdaughter and i only allow her to refer to me as Stepmom. Becuz i have been helping take care of her since she was one and now she is 19. she has always called me ma until she became a stanky fast ass teenager4, then she thought she would call me by my name. I thought that was a form of disrespect so just call me Stepmom Bish!! or Mrs. insert last name. Since u tryin to be funny heffa!
Any taste suggestions for the subject of this post?
S/N: Yall betta stay from round me. Ion love my login like I should.
#fairwarning
FAYLA
heyyyyy boo
Any taste suggestions for the subject of this post?
S/N: Yall betta stay from round me. Ion love my login like I should.
#fairwarning
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haterade
iyonah says:
@Diva Yes girl… not cool. Even if he is a terror. You don’t breathe/speak life into that, if you think it.
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Agree
Diva save the sheets. Just seen on anothet site that Ev went to a church benefit with Shaunie…..Jesus be a fence around my soul Lord
Either way is fine with me *shrugs*
I never knew that TI cheated on Tiny with his Baby Mama#1….
Well now that I’m thinking about it, he had to have cheated on her again with Baby Mama #2. Since Deyjah and Domani are “twins”
Now that I’m REALLY thinking about it. He cheated on Baby Mama#1 as well because I remember from “I Still Luv Ya” from Trap Muzik he said “not just Messiah’s mama, Hell I had told your Granny, 3 kids in 2 years baby, Daddy panicked”
adding b1tch to the end of sentences for emphasis b!tch<—chit im doing all day tea:
@Milky and your situation dictates that she needs to do that because of her own actions. I’ve had a stepmom since i was 12 and never called her ANYTHING until I was in my 20s when my dad put me in my place. Now after finally getting to know her… She is my Bonus Mom and I appreciate her.
What ya’ll talkin bout

Afternoon Roses
Who used “pickle” and “tickle” im blaming *yew* in advance…I think it’d be a southern delicacy…
pickled pork perhaps?
Is that Zonnique in the picture above?
@caramel I dont understand my stepdaughter becuz she lived with me for about 3 years when she was younger. When her fast ass got pregnant at 15 i was there with her all night when she went in labor two months early. (her Mother never showed up to the hospital even after the baby was born) And she still feel like im the enemy becuz i want her to be something more than a hoodrat. Needless to say she has had another baby so she is 19 with two sons and going down the path i tried so hard to keep her from!
Eazy says:
Is that Zonnique in the picture above?
she look grown don’t she
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TI cheated on Tiny with his Baby Mama#1
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He cheated on Lashon with Deja’s mom, hence the lyrics.
she look grown don’t she
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yes! wow. she look about 26yo.
Eazy :wave:
Nothing much..
@Milky: It sounds like she’s dealing with some “mommie” issues. Just be as supportive as you can
Milky says:
@caramel I dont understand my stepdaughter becuz she lived with me for about 3 years when she was younger. When her fast ass got pregnant at 15 i was there with her all night when she went in labor two months early. (her Mother never showed up to the hospital even after the baby was born) And she still feel like im the enemy becuz i want her to be something more than a hoodrat. Needless to say she has had another baby so she is 19 with two sons and going down the path i tried so hard to keep her from!
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Milky boo, u can lead a horse to water…..
I think Lashon was first..
He cheated on Lashon with Deja’s mom, hence the lyrics.
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all the while, no rubbers were being used hence all them damn kids
Right, so what you’re saying OTB is He was dating Lashon and then Tiny was his side piece?
anybody seen that show on vh1 about unlikely folks being married…white chick is married to dude that does gay porn
@OTB, tis I that spoke of the tickle of the pickle
And when u said pickled pork I thought of pickled pig feet…..for the life of me I never got how people could eat that shyt
i tried so hard to keep her from!
Every time I rail on my kids and say Ohhh when is 18 coming? Mom reminds me that if I truly care about my legacy and what I’m leaving, I’ll acknowledge my full-time, lifetime position as a mother.
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She’s justs 19. Dont give up on her yet.
Im still grappling with it.

Zonnique is a cute girl!
But I guess if you dont have rough sex and he doesnt like anal sex you too can be HIV free
@Milky: It sounds like she’s dealing with some “mommie” issues. Just be as supportive as you can
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thanks for the advice Gigi, I have tried that for many years, but know im just letting her do her and i be bothered with the grandbabies when i feel like it. She’s so called grown now so there’s nothing more for me to do, but make sure my bonus grandchildren are okay!!
I aint about this work life, today
How old would TIP and Tiny’s stillborn be had it lived?
NVM, she would be 5.
@Naija: I saw that joint when it first premiered and dude is GAY GAY GAY! That chick is living in utter denial
I wonder if he’s a top or a bottom
He was dating Lashon and then Tiny was his side piece?
it seems she held on and got the prize huh
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I see OTB. Aunty need to open registration or let our people back in. (we miss ya’ll
)
EAZY!

It was right around the time Tiny wrote No Scrubs.. but this is what SHE HAS SAID about Tip, whom she intitally did not want..
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“And it was only when she agreed to attend one of his early concerts that she finally fell for the rapper. She says, “Finally I let him come by, but I still wasn’t sure because I felt like, ‘Oh, he’s a baby’ and I treated it like that and he kinda felt like, ‘You trying to play me like I’m a little boy.’
“>b>And one night, and it’s probably the best thing he could’ve did, he invited me to one of his shows… First of all, it was jam-packed outside, it was crazy and I’m like, ‘All these people (are) here for this guy?’ We went in there and he tore the house down. And I was like, ‘OK, I think I like him.’ He’s got something there.”
But I guess if you dont have rough sex and he doesnt like anal sex you too can be HIV free<———- Bullchit Nurse Sandra Ratchett Rose says
@Milky she must have some other things going on. I know for me personally, as Overdramatic and Intimidating as my mother can be, it would mess me up for her not to be there for me. I’m
for your stepdaughter because until she gets to the root of what’s really going on, there will be more children.
NaijaGal says:
anybody seen that show on vh1 about unlikely folks being married…white chick is married to dude that does gay porn
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i saw this last night. there’s no way in hell i could be married to my husband and he is doing gay porn. I couldnt even date a man that does gay porn. YUCK!!!
Angiegirl says:
S.N. Inever thought I would see the day where someone’s morals and character is compared to that of a known ex drug dealer and 8 TIME felon, and his wife who sneaks in the jail to tickle the pickle
————–
Corrected that for you!
But didn’t you know the Harris fam is the modern day Huxtable family…we should take cues from them :
@bombshell Esq

:wave:
<-Looking hard are you New??
the Cat’s meow
And I was like, ‘OK, I think I like him.’ He’s got something there.”

________________________________
Yeah I bet
1) im bout to train this youngsta
2) him actually chasing me?? 1st time ever
3) money being made around here!
4) somebody actually chasing meeeeee!!
@ Eazy she surely did: 2 children born (from 2 different women), 2 jail visits,the end of her singing career, and a stillborn before she got that ring though…. I damn sure wouldn’t have been able to go thru all of that. Must be one of them dingalings of gold that Tamar was singing about
@ OTB no ma’am you said NO such thing
I actually like that term. He was a bonus, Let’s be glad she has no ill feelings and move on.
CATS MEOW, BOMBSHELL
to the jungle
Thanks @ luVn
:hugs: @Caramel
@luVn Yes, I am new…
Thanks @ Nija
And I was like, ‘OK, I think I like him.’ He’s got something there.”
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Tamar pretty much said the same ish about Vince
OutsidetheBox says:
I’ve taken physical custody of my 2 year old niece recently
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Blessings and good will to you and yours.
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Thank you. It’s rough but worth it. She is a doll. She would not been nowhere in life with her two knucklehead parents
@Naija
:2dance:
That cat looks bad as hell at Cat’s Meow.
Reminds me of my Chico that I had finally found a better home for.
That fell through though.
TI said Lashon and the other chick were his “friends” he smashed.
cat’s meow and bombshell u are welcome welcome welcome. (like they say in church)
Has anyone every ever thought that Tamar AND Tiny are very, VERY similar?If you watch both shows, how they both throw that hand, and hold their necks when they talk? The only difference is that Tiny damn near whispers when she talks to TI and she’s resumes her regular volume when she’s talking to Shekinah?
Diva says:
We gonna get a Bey post in 5 4 3 2 1….the lovely couple lost the trademark battle for the name Blue Ivy!
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
lovezoe says:
TI said Lashon and the other chick were his “friends” he smashed.
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even though he made a song where he told Lashon had she been on her act right, she’d be living Tiny’s life….mmmmmkay
@Milky
Thanks!
is Shekinah on T&V and Tiny and TIP show?
@ Milky…Yup she is. I noticed that last week.
Yeah I was definitely under the impression that Lashon was more of a childhood sweetheart “situation” <—– the term he REGULARLY used when referring to his relationship before he got married. He loved to say if you know me you know my situation
TI said Lashon and the other chick were his “friends” he smashed.
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What
They wrote No Scrubs in 98-99…Domani and Messiah are like 10 and 12 right (born in 200 and ’01)…Hmm. Tiny followed Sandra’s advice for a marriage I see.
I don’t know what to say about this post but I wouldn’t want some other lady calling nan one of my kids hers! Nope, I’m doing a fine a** job of being a mom! Thanks very much! Carry on!
I think Tiny is the only one who put up with his ways. He rewarded her kindly.
If I’m not mistaken TI has said a few times in interviews that the death of their daughter changed the way he viewed Tiny, he even went as far as saying he felt guilty because of the stress he had put her through
GROWN SECURE WOMEN DO THIS, INSECURE IMMATURE WOMEN DON’T
CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT AND THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE CHOICES THEIR PARENTS MAKE, SO THEY SHOULD BE REFERRED TO AS A BONUS WHEN GOD BLESSES YOU WITH ONE YOU DIDN’T GIVE BIRTH TO
Bonus-son sounds much better then step-son. I see nothing wrong with this.
Tiny accepts the responsibility of helping to raise Domani regardless of the fact that Domani was conceived while Tiny was dating her husband T.I.
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:stop: He was still dating Lashawn Dixon and he cheated on her w/ Deja’s mom right????
Get yo life Sandra
I think it is dependent on the relationship between the adult and the child. Right now, my child calls my boyfriend “Mr…..” because there is a father in my child’s life and there is not a need for another father figure. This is not the case in all situations so, I think it is something that the adults should work out prior to introducing the child to a new person.
Hi Everyone! I only logged on to say that today’s Morning Glory, mateernity is gorgeous! LOVEEEEE the natural look!
I think calling them his/her own works for Tiny and TI probably because they will be met with little resistance from the bio mom and dad; however, I think Jada runs the risk of being cursed out by Tre’s mother. I don’t believe she would go for it.
Slow news day? Does Tiny have u on pay roll? U also have to keep in mind how Trey’s biological mother feels about Jada calling Trey her son, that maybe the reason Jada coined the term “Bonus Son” but who really give a f*ck..
My babies call me their bonus mom and their mom does too. Depending on whose asking my answer is I have two boys and for others I might say I have bonus babies. It’s the same. They know they are my kids I share responsibility with my husband and their mom to help support and raise them.