Earlier this week, Jada Pinkett Smith denied allegations that she manipulated August Alsina into a relationship with her husband Will Smith‘s blessings.
The 27-year-old “No Love” singer made headlines when he sat down for an interview with New York radio personality Angela Yee about his alleged affair with the 48-year-old star.
“I actually sat down with Will and had a conversation,” August said. “Due to the transformation from their marriage to life partnership that they spoke on several times, and not involving romanticism, he gave me his blessing.”
August explained the deep emotional bond he’d developed with the older woman who convinced him it was love.
“I totally gave myself to that relationship for years of my life. I truly and really, really deeply loved, and have a ton of love for her. I devoted myself to it, I gave my full self to it. So much so to the point that I can die right now and be OK with knowing that I truly gave myself to somebody. I really loved the person that I experienced that (with) and know what (that feels) like – if some people never get that in this lifetime.”
How did August end up in a situation that most men would not find themselves in? August appears to be an emotionally weak man who struggles with self-esteem and a desire to be loved by a narcissistic mother figure.
Jada, a mother-of-two children who practically raised themselves, has admitted to being a narcissist.
Narcissism is a mental disorder characterized by a preoccupation with self. A narcissist puts her own aspirations, needs, success, and personal preferences above others.
It is important for parents to teach their children how to spot a narcissist to avoid falling into their trap. A vulnerable teen or man who is dumped by a narcissist can be left feeling depressed, confused, disoriented, lethargic, or suicidal.
Vulnerable people like August are like fish bait to a narcissist once she gets her hook into them.
Which brings us to the first sign that a woman may be a narcissist.
1. Narcissists are very attractive
Most narcissists are very attractive people. They are physically stunning, beautiful and irresistible. Their beauty makes it easier for people to gravitate towards them.
They are experts at spotting prey in a crowded room. Once they meet, they will know within minutes if your son is emotionally weak and vulnerable. They will prey on his weakness and his strong desire to be loved.
That’s why it’s important to teach your son the basics – how to spot a narcissist at an early age.
If your son has a healthy, loving, secure upbringing – half of the battle is won. You must constantly tell your minor son how much he is loved – until he gets tired of hearing it. Tell him you love him by your words and actions. Begin early, before he is 7 and has developed a personality.
2. Narcissists love being the center of attention
Warn your son that a narcissist is usually the most popular woman in the room. She can be a celebrity, an executive, professional athlete, or CEO of her own company. Or she can be the girl next door.
What sets them apart from others is their ability to draw a crowd. Once she gets her hooks into your son she will use him, drain him, and then dispose of him like a piece of trash.
3. Love bombing
Love bombing is the narcissist’s most potent weapon. That’s how she gets her hooks into your son. It begins within hours after the exchange of phone numbers.
Narcissists are extremely manipulative and dangerous. Once they have a victim on the hook they will do everything to make sure he stays there. Communication technology makes it easier for a predator to hook her prey. She begins by showering him with text messages and/or phone calls.
The texts will be excessive – multiple texts per hour. Sometimes 100 texts per day. The weak-minded, vulnerable man will be flattered by all the attention from a celebrity. But the healthy, secure man will not be impressed with her excess text messages. He will be aware that something is wrong.
Love bombs can also take the form of notes left on the bathroom mirror or a car windshield. Flowers delivered to his job is a favorite tactic of a narcissist. Her goal is to get him to spend more time with her, and less time with others.
While exhilarating at first, love bombing can feel like being stalked. A weak, vulnerable man won’t think he is being stalked. The lavish attention will be so intoxicating, he will invite the predator to move in with him because he craves the nonstop attention. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last.
“If you’re feeling that something just isn’t right about the person or your relationship, these constant reminders of “how good you are together” — when you suspect that you really aren’t — can be an effort to keep you tethered. It’s often the first line used by a potential abuser.”
Sometimes there are “love at first sight” stories that end well. The relationship builds quickly, but stays at a healthy pace that is comfortable for both parties involved.
A relationship with a narcissist rarely ends well – unless she’s involved with another narcissist or a man who has more wealth and power than she does. Then she will form a “life partnership” with him and use him to lure in her victims.
Stay tuned for part 2 of Teaching your son how to spot a narcissist.
