A stressful marriage can take a toll on a woman’s health. Women who suspect their husbands may be cheating on them are especially vulnerable.
Kandi Burruss took to her Instagram Stories to confess that she gained 20 pounds since May. Ironically, that’s around the time when rumors swirled about her husband, Todd Tucker, and a certain voluptuous real estate agent.
The 44-year-old mom of three said she was struggling to lose 10 pounds, leaving her with 30 pounds as her weight loss goal.
“Okay so today is Wednesday, I believe it’s the, is it the 16th of September? This is the first day back to working out,” Burruss said.
Kandi added: “I gained 20 pounds since May. Since you know… well not at the beginning of Covid.”
Marital stress can cause symptoms such as fatigue, weight gain, forgetfulness, insomnia and mood swings.
Women tend to pile on the pounds by eating greasy, fatty foods, rather than healthy foods from all 5 food groups (dairy, vegetables, fruit, grain and protein).
Kandi continued: “The beginning of Covid i was working out and i was in shape. And even then I wanted to lose 10 pounds but I ended up getting lax and comfortable and I ended up gaining 20.”
“So that means I have have 30 pounds of which I would like to lose. I just want to better myself overall. I just want to get used to making working out a regular routine.”
In the video titled, “I need help! Thank God for family… I hope I can stick to this 7 am workout schedule,” Kandi explained that her cousin Patrick has volunteered to work out with her.
“He’s a trainer. He got up and came to my house at 7 to workout and that’s going to be my regular time. I hope I can stick to this.”
Kandi and Todd share two children. They also have grown daughters from previous relationships.
Here are some tips to handle stress in a marriage:
1. Seek Self-Awareness
Pick the most common stress response for you and your spouse. When you notice this behavior, acknowledge the presence of difficult emotions and discuss them.
Listen to your spouse. Sometimes thoughts and emotions are misinterpreted because you don’t listen. If you’re having a hard day, ask your husband to listen to you.
Encourage your spouse to explore his feelings and describe what’s going on inside him. Try not to be judgmental or accusatory, but have empathy for what your spouse is feeling. Name and validate painful emotions. Offering comfort for past hurts can help reduce painful emotions.
4. Seek out stressors from your spouse’s childhood
Seek out your husband’s feelings. Ask him about his childhood. If he feels overwhelmed, anxious and burdened, ask him if he felt overwhelmed, anxious and burdened as a child. Ask him what happens when he feels this way.
5. Resolve stress
After listening, ask, “How can I help?” Perhaps he needs some time alone after an emotionally exhausting conversation. You don’t have to anticipate what he needs, you just have to ask.