Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung said “Shame is a soul eating emotion”. Older millenials and some baby boomers are all too familiar with the burning fires of shame. The homosexual lifestyle is still considered sinful in the black community.
It is so sinful that some gays deny their homosexuality even to other homosexuals who live their lives openly.
It is why R&B legend Luther Vandross, who died in 2005, went to his grave without revealing his gay lifestyle. And it is the reason rumored gays such as Tyler Perry and Queen Latifah will probably do the same.
So when R&B icon Patti LaBelle shared her memories of a closeted Vandross with Andy Cohen on a segment of Watch What Happens Live, we nod our heads in agreement.
“He did not want his mother to be [upset] — although she might have known — he wasn’t going to come out and say this to the world,” LaBelle said. “And he had a lot of lady fans. He told me that he just didn’t want to upset the world,” she added. “It was hard for him.”
The reaction to LaBelle’s statement was wildly mixed, from anger to frustration to disappointment.
Wendy Williams ripped LaBelle for “outing” Vandross.
Most of us knew Vandross was gay and living with his boyfriend (who resembled a light skinned Gerald Levert). As others have noted, Vandross didn’t hide his gay lifestyle, he just didn’t discuss it.
TheGrio.com writer Gerren Keith Gaynor, a Morehouse grad, is among the crowd who believe it is a tragedy that Vandross had to hide his homosexuality in the first place.
He described Vandross as living his life in a prison. But from all outward appearances Vandross lived his life to the fullest. Apparently so do Perry, Latifah, Tichina Arnold and Murphy.
For that matter, the blog owner has never discussed her lesbianism with her mother, for the same reason that Vandross didn’t. Why is it necessary to force others to accept our lifestyle?
Gaynor says society still has a long way to go to achieve full acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle. But most of us know it will never happen as long as there black churches in the black community.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfT9sjc4bf4
Patti should have kept her mouth shut and told Andy that it wasn’t her truth to tell.
But like most black women she wanted people to think she knew something no one else did.
I think she should have, let him rest in peace.
Agreed. It’s not her secret to tell.
She’s disrespectful and should not have told. He lived that long without outing himself and she’s out of line.
It wasn’t a secret…I’m sure his mom knew
It was pretty clear that Luther and his child bearing hips didn’t want no pucee, but it was his truth to hold. I can’t say that what Patti said was bad, but it was in poor taste for a friend of the man
There is a difference between keeping your private life private and living in the closet. The worst kept secret in the world was that Luther wasn’t gay. Everybody knew, just like everyone knows Queen Latifah is a lesbian – she doesn’t try to hide it, she just doesn’t talk about it. In an age where everybody feels like they need to broadcast every second of their lives, I applaud those who value their privacy. What goes on in your bedroom is not everyone’s business.
??????
Everybody knew Luther was gay, especially in the Black community. I think many in the white community knew too. But I agree it wasn’t her truth to tell.
ikr… what goes on in people’s bedroom should stay private…?
You can live your truth without needing validation or anyone’s approval.
Patti doesn’t come across as malicious or attention seeking. She probably thought she was righting a wrong for him, and she probably didn’t think it was a secret. But you’re right, she should never have spoken on it, even though I don’t agree with that “like most black women” part LOL.
Whooaa Tichina Arnold too? damn..news to me.
This why they don’t watch hypocritical ass Wendy. She has been outing and insinuating about people’s sexuality for years. She’s disgusting.
If I didn’t speak it, it should never be spoken.
KMSL>
I agree with the other comments. Everybody knew Luther was gay as well as Queen Latifah, Eddie Murphy, Tichina Arnold, Tyler Perry, Oprah and Gayle, Sanaa Lathan, Tracy Ellis Ross, etc.
I know Oprah is probably super old school and as much as she has denied that she and Gayle were/are lesbian lovers, I have to disagree with her assertion because of a live segment I saw on Oprah’s show years ago.
This is what I saw with my own eyes. Gayle was on the show and Oprah and Gayle had apparently been arguing off set about something (probably men). Oprah was nearly in tears as they exchanged words. Suddenly, Gayle blurted out, I think I’m going to start dating men (I kid you not – she said that on air). Oprah, got even more teary eyed and said well maybe you should. I could not believe what I was seeing. Hearing and seeing that exchange on live TV confirmed for me that Oprah and Gayle were in a lesbian relationship. Stedman is/was just a hype man cover. They then went to a break. When they returned Oprah’s eyes were redder than a crayon. I was like wow. Why didn’t I have my VHS recording that (that’s how long ago it was).
This is my thing. I consider myself open-minded, however, the gay and lesbian lifestyle still causes me some type of mindset. I’m just being honest because I just could not imagine myself being a lesbian and having another woman touch me or my sons being gay and having men touch them. I just can’t. But I would still love my sons with all my heart if they came to me and said they are gay. I have a couple of relatives who have delved into lesbianism for a minute and then decided they wanted to marry men so they switched back. I’m still cool with those relatives.
But for those who have chosen that way of life, embrace who you are. Like some of the comments have mentioned, some of these people are not hiding it but they also are not discussing it openly because it’s their private life. I get that.
For that matter, the blog owner has never discussed her lesbianism with her mother
I’m sure she knows Sandra and that’s your choice. She is YOUR mum. Your call totally. God bless you. I’m sure it’s hard. I can’t imagine
Do people still watch Wendy? I don’t watch her show. She’s kind of repulsive to look at.
I agree. Hiding something and choosing not to talk about something are two separate things. But if you choosing not to talk about something because of how it affects someone else, then you are hiding. Let’s take the gay connotation out of it. If I was dating a much older man (I am a female) and did not discuss it, am I being private or hesitate because of the possible judgements? A very thin line that I think people don’t realize is there…
And yes, I am tripping off your Oprah/Gayle story. Wow! I am the last person on earth who really think Oprah is not gay and especially with Gayle. I really think they are friends lol.
Agreed.
That segment from the old “Oprah Winfrey Show” would have confirmed that they were lesbian lovers at the time. Whether they still are, whose to say but that show on that day was not about 2 platonic girlfriends. It was about one of them wanting to date men and the other being hurt by that revelation/comment. Trust and believe you would have drawn the same conclusions had you seen that show.
I don’t think the world is disappointed because we already new.
Yet she don’t want to discuss sharing her husband all these years.
Sandra, you know your mom better than any of us. If your mom isn’t ready to hear it from your mouth, yet she knows, allow her the time and space to deal with the truth. Whether you spoke it or not, your mom knows the truth and the truth cannot be changed. Live your peace, and if your mom wants to deal with the half-truth, then who’s living the bigger truth…
—
But on the other hand, a person is not grown or mature until they are able to stand before their parent, speak their truth (respectfully) and experience as the child of the parent. When my son told me about his experience as my child, I gain a whole lot of respect and saw him very different. He went from my child, to my grown son. It’s a difference. When we speak, speak from a place of bold and fearless, yet with extreme respect and honor. It releases you, but it grows up the parent to the point where they wished the same experience with their parent. A lot of times children become the teacher to the parent because the parent wasn’t taught by their own parent. It’s a turning and growing point only a few are able to achieve. Therefore, if you think (don’t go with feelings) telling your mom will grow you, then tell her. But if there is any other reason, then let the kind of peace that exists, continue.
Thank you
He was like her best friend, maybe he gave her his blessing before his passing to tell.
i’m just glad my family doesn’t give me grief about being gay, it is what it is. I don’t think it’s the most important part of me and trying to force acceptance among people hung up on that Leviticus verse is counter productive. I love living in America, because you don’t have to accept the way I live, and I don’t have to care!
True…
“Vandross didn’t hide his gay lifestyle, he just didn’t discuss it.” I believe this.
“Why is it necessary to force others to accept our lifestyle?” It isn’t.
“Gaynor says society still has a long way to go to achieve full acceptance of the homosexual lifestyle. But most of us know it will never happen as long as there black churches in the black community.” Here we got with “Blame the Black folks for why gays don’t come out.” At my church, we had three music directors. ALL of them were gay, including the pastor’s son. Everyone knew it, and to my knowledge, they weren’t ostracized. There have always been gays in the Black church.
As far as I can see, people bend over backwards to accept gays. People dare not say anything ever perceived to be anti-gay or they are finished.
Wow, at the Oprah and Gayle story. I remember Oprah always denying being gay saying, “If I were gay, I would tell you.” At one time I didn’t believe the rumors, but I noticed how Oprah goes out her way to feature the LGBT community and after what you wrote, I’m going ?.
THIS!
lmao aint chit!
Oh, and not keeping secrets is synonymous with Black women? Generalization much?
Right and I don’t agree with Roderick’s last comment either. Some Black people are always trying to generalize other Black people.
Luther was not “closeted.” He lived his life as a gay man, he had gay relationships, his friends and even acquaintances (like Patti Labelle) knew he was gay. While he didn’t wear a rainbow flag or hold a press conference to tell the world he practiced homosexuality, he NEVER said he was straight. But he was not married with kids creeping on the DL. “Closeted” has a distinct meaning and Luther did not fit it. I realize this is just a gossip blog but let’s try to keep some perspective and not dishonor the dearly departed.
Eddie murphy is not gay. He had a relationship with a very good friend of mine. Then again she wasn’t born the same sex she is now and was pre-op at the time.
I loved, and still do, love Luther. He would check a person in a minute. I heard once a woman threw her panties on the stage and he stopped the show. He said he wasn’t having that!
SMFH, now iF she threw her husband’s draws he would have met them backstage. LOL RIP Lutha
lmao I hate you!!! I am hollering!
Eddie Murphy is known (or at least one time he was) for picking up transgendered men (I don’t know the term people use) in West Hollywood. That was a well-known fact with the LAPD.
In my opinion, it’s obvious Oprah and Gayle are in a lifetime gay relationship. There’s really good friends and best friends sure. But their friendship appears more like a courtship to me with Oprah acting like a gentleman courting and spoiling Gayle. Sure friends can be generous but they take it to a suspect level. If Oprah were a man any man Gayle is with would be right to find such generosity peculiar.
I met Tyler Perry last week. I was shocked, he was very masculine.
LIES. Mr. Perry flames harder than them fires burnin in Cali.
Lol!!!!!!! ? You are SO wrong for that. Ditto. RIP Luther.
The only straight black man in hollywood is Denzel. Theyre all bisexual sex addicts.
Now, see, you are being messy and trying to out too many damn people who are not gay or lesbian. Oprah and Gayle are/were NOT a couple.
tell it!!! I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near her when her karma comes.
Chatty Patti was out of line. If Luther didn’t talk about it…neither should she. It’s not her place.
I’m heterosexual, my husband is my first love, we have two children we raise to regard people with respect. I must say, I think it’s inappropriate to discuss intimate affairs. I’ve always told my friends I don’t want to know what they and their man do and my life is not fodder for gossip. Why are people whatever their lifetsyle and preference discussing their own or anyone else’s most intimate details. It should be off limits. Society is losing its privacy and filter and it’s a dangerous thing. Outing is not just limited to gays. When you violate anyone’s privacy you are outing them and that is wrong. Period.
She was very hurt having her privacy violated yet she makes a living violating the privacy and hurting the feelings of others. Wendy Willams is all kinds of wrong. But she’s hurting inside and hurt people hurt people.
Yesss. He should have left that last comment off. It was very inappropriate.
Morris Chestnut?
Samuel Jackson?
At my church, we had three music directors
_________________
This?! Music directors, musicians, and leads have been gay for years and everybody, including pastor, knew. We are not homophobic.
Say that again. I wish more straight people would keep some of their business private too. We don’t need to know every details of what goes on in people’s relationship and bedroom.
Let’s not forget about Drake… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b816b965226809ca5a4ce74d1c6d5c54e3f5215fda15107c319088bf88034fb9.gif
In fact someone should confirm Mr. Perry’s whereabouts last weekend.
That wasn’t Patti’s story to tell. I hate that celebrities can’t rest in peace without other people adding to their story. If he didn’t come out when he was alive, let it go unless he told you to make that announcement to the world if he passes. Andy certainly isn’t someone to share sensitive info with. He’s proven himself to be messy and heartless. He didn’t need to ask that. Patti should have responded by saying out of respect for her friend she isn’t going to discuss any of his business that he didn’t discuss. He’s gone. It shouldn’t be an issue anymore.
I know. What do black churches have to do with all the white people who disown their gay kids? People just like making black people the scapegoat for everything and sadly a lot of black people have fallen for that too.
Be like Patti and sing the tea lol
Wow, really? Not angry Sam, too. Everyone else I can see it. Especially Cuba and Boris.
I read the story on yahoo the other day and white commenters said they knew, but didnt care of his good voice.
Thank you, Ang. We are the world’s scapegoats. I’m tired of it. Many of us believe the lie. I remember what Malcolm X said: “Who taught you to hate yourself.” The lies and brainwashing is so inculcated in many of our minds that nothing you say can change their minds.
Thank you. That fact has always been known.
No, I’m not being messy. If you saw that segment it would have been obvious to you that they were in a lesbian relationship at that time. And there are other things that pointed to it like Oprah publicly acknowledging things she does for Gayle that a man would do for his woman. So I figured Oprah was the man in their relationship. How are you going to emasculate Stedman by admitting those things in public? Girl, please.
When was that Oprah segment? If that really aired on live tv every magazine and tabloid would have reported it and everyone would still be talking about it. Why would Gayle need to announce she was going to start dating men? Oprah’s show premiered in 1986. Gayle was married to a man from 1982-1993.
Ang, you are so right. I got suckered in to believe that. I usually don’t jump to conclusions.
LOL you’re right some fam in ATL ran into him, just as flaming as P Diddy
Closeted means you don’t come out as a gay man he never came out thus, closeted.
Yes, he sure should have. It was very inappropriate.
The casting couch is as real as all the hollywierd r@pe & S-assault cases finally being confirmed to shush the rumors.
Now, it is no doubt how most ended up turnt out & behaving differently or reflecting what they’ve really gone through.
As the saying goes, one way of getting to the charts or landing those big roles (gigs or digs) is to allow oneself to be used, abused or violated (aka hazed) by those in power. smh
Girl we all do that sometimes. No shame. The Oprah and Gayle rumors just never make sense to me. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for people to believe that they are best friends. Lots of people have best friends. They worked together before Oprah got a show. There probably weren’t many black women in the news back in the 80s so I can see how they would bond.
I think Oprah is lucky to have a friend who knew her before her fame and fortune. Most people who reach the heights of fame and fortune have a hard time because they don’t have anyone they can trust, sometimes not even their own family. A lot of them end up very lonely or in bad situations because of the lack of genuine friendship/relationships. But, I’ve never seen anything about Oprah and Gayle that seemed any different than any other women friends. I don’t get why they are assumed gay because they’re so close but the Sex and the City characters are beloved because of their close friendship.
I made that mistake once. Innocently, I remarked on a deceased friend’s relationship not fully realizing in the moment that I was commenting on something she had kept secret. Andy took advantage of Patti with her guard down.
I think she’s saying he wasn’t really closeted if everyone in his real life knew. He just didn’t announce it to the world but no celebrity is required to tell the public anything.
Samuel Jackson use to be my favorite actor. Until I met him a few years ago at The NAACP Awards. His wife(LaTanya Richardson) is very funny and a pleasant woman to be around. But Samuel will never get my support again.
I can’t…whenever I’m messy Karma beats my @ss, without fail.
No, that’s not what it means. “Closeted” means you hide your sexual identity — from everyone or most everyone — and live as if you are not gay. You did not know Luther, so you had no cause/reason/right to know how he was smashing in his bedroom. But his family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues knew. Patti’s suggestion that he was keeping it from his mother was misstated. His mother knew he was gay but because she was a traditional and unevolved woman of a certain generation she was more concerned about how she (and he) would be perceived than her son’s well-being. She did not want the world to know he was gay. (see, Cissy Houston)
Hey Kcool Breeze I knew you would have a story to tell! ????? I’m just kidding!!!
Closeted means lying. Luther never said he wasn’t gay, he just never said he was. And I don’t get that. Why are gay people required to disclose? Do heterosexuals go around telling people they are straight? Why is a big deal if people who seem gay don’t say so?
When she started to date her drummer who’s old enough to be her grandson, did she go around talking about that?!
Yes, you are right. We do it sometimes, but I hate to jump to conclusions, you know? I agree with your statement about friendships. In fact, it’s a blessing to have a friendship like that. How many people can count their best friends on one hand.
Right. How many people at Oprah’s level can she trust? When people would accuse them of being gay, I’d scoff at them. I always admired their friendship.
Oh snaps. I didn’t know about that.
Girl, I didn’t know that either.
Exactly!
That’s called closeted. Example, Kevin Spacey, obviously many don’t know the definition of being in the closet. He was closeted, period. Many are/were. I’m not kissing his butt just cause he’s black a closet case is a closet case.
Y’all are reaching because you don’t want to believe 2 friends became lovers. I think it happened when Gayle got divorced. In any case, I know what I saw on TV that day. And as I said, it was back during the days of VHS tapes and I didn’t record it. I have no reason whatsoever to lie. It went down just as I said it did. And not having a date that the show aired or a recording of it doesn’t mean I am lying. It happened. I know my name and I know my address and no one can tell me differently. And I know what I saw and heard on that show on that day.
I think closeted has always referred to people who hid the fact that they were gay and tried to convince people they were straight. There are straight celebrities who don’t tell the public when they get married because they want their privacy. Everyone in their lives know about their spouse and they aren’t ashamed of their spouse they just don’t want the world in the business. There’s a difference between that and trying to convince people you’re still single like Michale Ealy did.
Yes. But, you’re mature for recognizing when you do something you don’t want to repeat.
I think a lot of celebrities have a ton of people they know and hang out with but most of those people aren’t real friends.
NOOOOO not chiwetel WHYYY.. .. I like that chocolate african..????????
I’m not reaching for anything. I don’t have a reason to. But, I know the tabloids have been calling them gay for years so if there was hardcore proof on television I’m sure that would have been headline news and it would be referenced everytime the topic comes up. But, if you saw that then fine. You don’t have to care if anyone agrees.
It is a sin. God’s Word changes for no one.
It is not necessary to “come out”. People need to mind their business. Whoever I have sex with is intimate and not for public compustion. As long as you are not lying and tricking and taking someone’s Freedom of Choice away, do you.
No she’s saying these men are 100% straight as well, not just Denzel.
Anything in Atlanta, is HIGH suspect, all of them…ALL
Just living the character he plays lol…
Ooohhhhh, I was crying….thanks…..
I hatchu for that….lmaooooo
Patti was wrong for letting Andy ooze this info out on him.. No wonder why Aretha don’t like her…
With friends like Patti, who needs enemies!
If Luther didn’t want to publicly speak on it, what makes her think she has the right to do so?
People love exposing others personal business while keeping their dirty little secrets hidden.
Attention seeking by any means necessary. Smh
Add Kenny Latimore to the list.
No not Kenny?
Sadly, yes Kenny.
Girl I would be too if these fine a// men were gay.
IT IS ALSO A sin FOR YOU TO BE ON A GOSSIP SITE!!!!!!MISSY!
There are many rumors about Samuel Jackson having slept with George Lucas to get his role in Star Wars. I don’t know about the others mentioned
I, for one, am unmoved by Patty spilling it. I don’t think it was intentionally done. Andy is a slick, and phrased the question in an assumptive tense leaving little room for denial; it’s journalistic trickery on his part. On the flip side, the man has been gone for over a decade, and everyone and their mammy knew what time it was. I’m a gay guy myself, and while I don’t broadcast it openly, I’m not stupid enough to think everyone is oblivious either. Once I’m gone, I could care less what anyone thinks or says. Well I take that back, as long as nobody dreams of implying that I was HIV+; that’s about the only thing that would thave me doing somersaults in my grave!
Lol.
Everybody knew Luther was gay. He just never admitted it. Queen Latifah and Tyler aren’t admitting it either, but everybody knows.
Totally agree, and I essentially practice the same principle myself. I don’t broadcast it, but if you’re bold enough to ask, I’ll tell it lol
????
Lmaoo??
Don’t you dare say anything about Eddie Luther KAng!?
Gay or straight, Luther Vandross was a massively talented artist and he is greatly missed .
In NY he was well known to NYPD for having sex with trannies at the old salt mines. When he was still on SNL.
Absolutely. A talent like Luther comes along only once in a generation.
Yes, exactly!!!
?????
I heard Lenny was gay too. How u know it’s true?
Why was Patti on that man’s show? I don’t understand why black people go on his show. He’s obviously a racist who hates women.
I agree with you 110%. They became friends as soon as Oprah got her first on air broadcast job. Two struggling young professional black women became understandably close in a white-dominated work environment. They have remained friends through the years. I don’t understand why people are desperate to read more into it.
I don’t think it’s necessary for anyone to have to discuss their lifestyle unless they choose to….I don’t care who people choose, it’s weird for me to have to care about something like that.
Everyone knew Luther was gay but also is mad at Patti for “outing” him? which is it? nevermind the fact that he has been dead over a decade.
Also everyone who assumes certain people are gay, like eddie or tyler for example are doing more harm than good as well. people think drake is gay for various reasons etc etc because you think you can but gay and lesbians in one little box, dont work like that
Can we get a house is not home bio pic..I thought it was common knowledge that his long time friend ( which is what the family would have referred to him as)was his lead background singer.
Eddie is bisexual, but Tyler is gay. That is not speculation. Straight men don’t frequent gay house parties and gay clubs. Tyler is well known in the gay community in Atlanta.
I used to think they were lesbians, but not anymore. I think she’s straight.
I remember when Eddie Murphy was at the top of his career; when he did a live “Eddie Raw” HBO stand-up comedy show. He bashed the hell out of gays to a thunderous burst of crowd laughter. Little did anyone know that he would be caught with a tyranny years later.
They’re usually the main ones.
Why was she even on that messy queen’s show in the first place?
That’s the guy. I remember when Luther did a magazine photo shoot at home with his boyfriend, and his female fans were still in denial. ? That Luther’s way of confirming the rumors without admitting it.
Luther did come out as gay in his personal life. His intimate life was not the public’s business. Only his music was the public’s business.
Tyler Perry makes too much money off old church women. They are his base supporters. Those plays, those old women would go to straight from church. They probably would not continue to support him if he lived an openly gay lifestyle but apparently haven’t made the connection themselves nor do they mind at all watching him in that dress and wig. The truth is stranger than fiction.
Are you gay????
Doesn’t matter to me if Luther was, what does matter is he was extremely talented and I miss him!
I prefer when people just live their lives and don’t make a big deal out of announcing their sexuality to the world. Live and let live.
It is sooooo fashionable nowadays to bash the black church. Part of it is ignorance; hello, the mega church is not the old black church. The other part is hubris; if it weren;t for the black church, the civil rights movement would not have materialized.
I can hardly wait for gay to be so mainstream that a retrospective is undertaken: Like Eddie Murphy, the biggest gay bashers and bullies were gays.
And it is simple dollars and sense: those folks stay in the closet because gays are the MINORITY in this country and those folks want to keep a cash flow so they go with the flow.
Right
Sandra Rose??????
Well then I hope “whoever [you] have sex with” is your husband/wife or else you’re sinning too!
I agree with your last sentence though
Look at the shame Terry Crews got from y’all! He’s not even gay and he got ripped apart! Want men to come out but ready to burn them at the stake!
Chile I still watch my Luther Concert (Live at WemblyDvd)…. Love Luther through and through
Luther didn’t have to admit shyt …. last I checked Luther never tried to get with anyone … there were rumors with Lisa Fischer but they were just close friends …. He owed no one nothing… so WTF! … Luther was an amazing man and talented … Who he fawks has nothing to do with his craft at the time… So technically not up for discussion … Nosey… Messy folks just gotta insert some mess… Where there is none …. Who he smashed had nothing to do with the quality of music he presented to his fans and if it did … He did something right… Because I still rides and bumps Luther down 285 …75 too…. Queen and Tyler owes no one nothing either … As much as both give and try to help folks… Why do folks think they are owed an explanation as to who they smash… Why??? … They owe you nothing …. (shrugs) but the back of their azz to put it frank…
“Like Eddie Murphy, the biggest gay bashers and bullies were gays.”
——————–
Will Smith often incorporated gay parodies into his Fresh Prince series. Without warning, he would lapse into a lisp or a limp wrist and a sashay as a way of soliciting a laugh at the expense of gays.
At the time, Smith was one of the biggest customers of a Hollywood madam who procured young men for him on a regular basis.
In NY we knew about Murphy going back to his SNL days when he was in his 20s. He was caught several times with trannies at the old salt mines. As soon as he started making money he used it to hire pre-op hookers.
“Straight men don’t frequent gay house parties and gay clubs.”
Yes him was, Superstar is my jizzam.
naw he go ripped apart because he traded his manhood for money and fame! he accepted a man groping him in front of his wife to stay in Hollywood! plus he playa alot of gay roles they maybe comedic bit gay none the less
I wouldn’t know what Luther did in his personal life, so I was speaking about his public one. And I agree, he owed no one any explanation for how he loved and lived privately.
I’m at the traffic light blasting love won’t let me wait. Driver on my left trying to get my attention. Excuse me while I gingerly turn up the volume.
So Patty was trying to get that groove back?
Hell she’s still groovin! I believe they are still together!
Sandra, that is very unfortunate you feel trapped by your sexuality, and I’m with Wendy on this one. Patti should of just ate her cereal.
SMH some friend. She should
have STFU and just sold them saltyass pies
U sure about that? So if Tyler Perry read your comment, he couldn’t sue you for slander?
Exactly!!!!
Trapped how? Do you expect her to make some formal announcement about it? So far in this post, I haven’t seen a single declaration of anyone’s heterosexuality, so why doesn’t the same standard apply! Stay outta folks draws LOL
Gossiping is a sin, but I don’t see the error in commenting on a gossip site unless the comment is gossip/messy.
You can be the voice of reason via your comments.
To promote/sell her cookbook or something like that (so I heard)
Wow. How/ Where’d you meet him?!!
Trapped in regards to her mother…. because she can’t be 100% with her. But
I’m with you as well, I don’t think anyone should declare their sexuality. People tend to get judged based on sexuality…so I can understand why it’s private for some.
It is a sin before God!
Patty LaBelle had no right to OUT Luther!
Well I’m in a similar situation myself. My mom knows, but it’s clearly something she’ll never be totally comfortable discussing. It just is what it is, and I’ve tried over the years but it’s just not gonna happen. So I’m essentially forced into a box that I’ve tried repeatedly to break out of. My guess is that heterosexuals immediately think of sex when it comes to gays, particularly gay men. They have no ideal that there are preferences, do’s/dont’s etc. They automatically assumed that gay = well, I’ll just leave it there.?
One of his producers has a new play debuting in February. There was a test dress rehearsal held last Friday, at one of Tyler’s studios. Tyler was sitting in front of my friend and I. He was not feminine acting at all to me. Doesn’t rule out him being gay.. I just didn’t pick that up from him.
“Out” of where, a glass closet? Goodness gracious this was no secret to keep.
Patty not attention seeking???? All that yelling she be doing on them tracks and performances?? Anyone yelling wants attention.
I miss Luther he put on an extravaganza it was everything. I saw him with a young Witney Houston.Houston . s would sing much slower than the song. Oh but Luther was everything. In a way I am glad Ms Patti clarified what we were assuming.
That’s dope!! Are you in the film/movie/stage industry? How’d you get into the TPS? I’ve been wanting to take my nieces for a tour.
It still wasn’t her place.
I was talking about in the interview. Not how she performs. Anyone who chooses to entertain for a living is attention seeking.
Written defamation is libel, not slander. Spoken defamation is slander, and the truth is an absolute defense to both. Tyler’s not suing anyone.
Period. If he wanted other non-essential members of his life knowing his sexuality, he would have made it known. It was not her place, and I’d question their friendship. You owe your friends/loved ones MORE respect when they’re dead (defenseless). This was the epitome of trifling
Sandra’s not trapped by anything. She’s merely showing respect for the woman who gave her life.
In NY too! I wonder if he still has that penchant for them? Oh well.
Yes, you’re right. The good thing is recognizing things.
Exactly. How do celebrities know who to trust? There are so many hangers-on.
Your response was very genuine and insightful. Thats why I said Sandra probably feels trapped in that regard as well as others in that situation.
And your absolutely right, when someone comes out, they often get painted with one paint brush (one gay narrative).
I can see that as well.
Chile good tunes right there … Yes Gawd ….
I just don’t believe it was done maliciously. I think Andy caught her off guard by posing the question in an assumption tense and she fell for it.
Well thank you. Maybe you can talk to my mom.?
Wendy.. I dont want to hear her talk about ish but her cheating husband. Until that is addressed I render her opinion on any topic VOID.
No one truly knows anything about this man but him and his eggplant. Let them both r.i.p!! accusations and assumptions aren’t facts unless proven indefinitely otherwise. What ppl fail to realize is ppl will only tell you what you want to know. Whatever he kept private and took to his grave is his business. Let it go.
No, I’m not in the entertainment industry. I was invited by my friend, who’s friends with Tyler’s right hand producer. I wish I could help.
Lol I can barely with mines on some topics.
ON TOPIC: Why are people so interested in the bedrooms of other people is BEYOND me. There are so many other things to discuss besides who’s TomDickAndHairy goes in what hole and why.
I’m a 20 something that absolutely LOVE the music of Luther Vandross as well as the duets he did with other artists….
I feel that his song “Dance With My Father” explain what he lacked after his father died, so I feel he transferred the fatherly love into a love for men.I feel that was his business and more people whether straight or gay need to keep their business to themselves…..The problems comes from when people try to “force their will on others”….
According to my Aunt, who actually plays his music everywhere she goes which is how I became familiar with him,when I visited her.My Aunt said it was well known, that Luther Vandross was gay.He just separated that from his music career…
Thank God for the artists of yesterday because the “so called artists of today” are pure trash in most cases.
Massive indeed on both points
Luther Vandross was gay? I thought he was a man’s – man – Ooh, that came out wrong, haha! I guess in the end Patti LaBelle couldn’t keep his secret, she just had to blurt it out. Maybe she felt she needed to get that off of her chest.
That’s number #1 on their minds. Every time I hear a conversation it’s always “who is your boyfriend or girlfriend?” or “who are you dating?” People are so nosy, when it comes to “others” sex lives. They wanna know what is going on in them. Well those who are into sex-talk. And that is most of this new generation. Me? I don’t talk about those things in public – shameful, but some people just don’t care what they say.
Wendy’s two-faced, so she will ignore what is currently going on in her personal life and jump on someone else. Well like people said, she is a “gossip” and has been going in on people for years. She went in on people who do drugs, and she did drugs so what does that tell you? Most people can point the finger, but they usually forget about what is going on in their personal lives. And being as Williams personal life is open to the public – we know all about her juicy gossip.
LaBelle said; “He just didn’t want to upset the world.”
I believe its called self respect..we tell too much of our business now days..luther was brilliant for personally not publicly being who he was..n it would’ve killed his album sales to be honest ???
Andy asked her a direct question… Did he struggle with the idea of coming out publicly..Is that something you talked about?
She said, “we talked about it…“He did not want his mother to be [upset]–although she might have known–he wasn’t going to come out and say this to the world,” she revealed. “And he had a lot of lady fans. He told me that he just didn’t want to upset the world,” she added. “It was hard for him.”
https://thegrio.com/2017/12/09/real-tragedy-patti-labelles-outing-luther-vandross/
What’s known does not always have to be spoken.
EVERYBODY knew Luther was gay, he just wasn’t flamboyant and ignorant with it like Magic Johnsons’ son.
Queen Latifah hasn’t publicly come out? Maybe these people feel like it’s so obvious that they don’t need to address it. Aside from Tyler Perry, who is clearly still in denial.
I recall Kim saying North designed that dress and picked out the color.
before who?
You find out
god don’t got no love for black folks..lol
What he do
As Luther’s friend Patti should have kept that to herself. It wasn’t her place to out him. We all knew something wasn’t quite right with him.
You’ll get there, stay strong
Exactly, the black community always have these double standards for gay people while the so called straight blacks can enjoy unlimited sinful acts and be absolved by prayer and confession.
Exactly, the black community always have these double standards for gay people while the so called straight blacks can enjoy unlimited sinful acts and be absolved by prayer and confession.
Luther was a vocalist without peer and an electrifying showman. Everything about him was just “right” and everyone agrees…except for the former members of En Vogue.
I aND many others will not accept it as long as God’s word is what it is 1 Corinthians 6:9, and God does not change! Stop trying to force feed us homosexuality! I’m sure as people first there are many with great characteristics amongst the LGBTQ community,as well as any other people, however their sexual acts are deplorable to God, and He sets the standards, not imperfect mankind, that wants to live independently from God, and make up their own unrighteous standards.
Fortunately we’re becoming a more enlightened society and coming out of the dark ages of religious myth’s. Its good that people are becoming more empowered to be true to themselves openly.
The fact that christianity is anti gay AND also pro misogynistic male chauvinist pig attitudes towards women is because, like ALL religion’s, they are FABRICATIONS (that means lies) created by men. So of course they contain the arrogant, backward’s, uneducated prejudices of the1st century men who wrote (made up) that shyt. And that shyt has been re-wrritten and added to long after the 1st century. A book filled with fabricated story’s, there’s nothing “holy” about that. Which “holy” are they talking about the butt holy? LOL
Why has the world made it the topic that it has become, why has homosexuality been glamorised? When it’s thrown out there as much as it has been, it allows people to speak their opinions and truths!
Petty Pattie, classless!
Alright now Patricia
I don’t discuss my kids straightness so why should I discuss their gayness. I stay outta their business and they stay outta mine’s. If my babies did bring a gay partner home they might accuse me of not liking them because they are gay because I am not gah gahing all over them as if they are special. I do all my kids mates like that. I never develop a close relationship with them for them call me mom and for me to call them son. Now I feel like Tyrese what more to the gay community want from me. I don’t bother you and I don’t care about you being gay and I am still called homophobic because I am not making a big deal about your lifestyle.The only time someone being gay is my business when he is in my head and bed all up in my business. Gotta admit it that Ellen got her lesbian game on point, She knows if she had a show where she went on all female glammed up with stylist clothes, makeup, dress and high heels no one will take her gayness seriously She knows she had to get a short pixie cut, hush puppies, khakis and a vest to pull the light butch lesbian non-threatening imagine off to please the public. You know if TransJenner tried on a dress when he got home Ellen does the same thing as well.
Anita Baker as well. I saw that show with the both of them and it was the best ever. They said behind the scenes he was a messy diva.
Let me assure that I don’t feel trapped. My sexuality does not define me in any way. It is not important to me that my mom knows I have a sexual disorder that makes me desire sex with women. If I had a child who came to me and revealed she was gay I would feel sad for my child. The gay lifestyle is very unhealthy. We have the highest rates of HIV, STDs, mental disorders, suicide, you name it.
“So I’m essentially forced into a box that I’ve tried repeatedly to break out of.”
Maybe if you understood your mom’s point of view you wouldn’t feel forced into a box. I don’t know if my mom knows about my sexuality or not. I’ve never discussed it with her. It’s not important to me that she knows. In fact, I would rather she not worry herself that I’m different or abnormal.
Exactly. My mom is 86. She’s from a totally different world where homosexuality will always be a sin regardless of how it’s presented to her.
I feel the same way, sexuality shouldn’t have to define anyone. I was looking at it from another point of view. I would feel limited by my mother’s reaction, But I understand your perspective about it. That’s great you don’t feel trapped.
My mom has not shown a reaction, therefore I don’t feel limited. I don’t concern myself with how she might react because we will never have that discussion. So there’s that. lol.
There’s an element of narcissism in homosexuality in that we feel our sexuality is the center of our being. That’s why some of us want others to acknowledge our gay lifestyle because that’s the thing that defines some gay people who pursue sexual pleasure and intimacy rather than the unselfish act of procreation and reproduction.
I guess my case is a bit different, in that I was outed (well not really because a mother knows her child) by a bitter queen way back in 94. So my parents are fully aware, but here it is 23 years after officially coming clean and she still sort of acts as though its non-existent. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect to share intimate details of anything with her, I just expect the same sense of curiosity (or some sense at least) with regard to my personal life that she clearly displays when it comes to my sister’s. The inequality was easier to deal with when I was younger, but I’m 43 now and I’ve grown more and more resentful. I once told her that I’d recently ended an 11 year relationship… she never even bothered to ask his name, let alone anything else. That was like 10 years ago, so my animosity has only grown over time.
I get that – thank you. My daughter is struggling to try to figure it out, and I know a part of her is concerned what her “bible thumping “ mother (
Can you prove he fks men is the question. You can not just say someone is gay as if it is a fact. Tyler Perry has never said he was gay and noone has pictures of him in bed with men. Where is the proof that he goes th gay parties, I have seen straight women going to gay parties, does that make them gay. So if you go to a gay party or a straight club does that make you one nor the other. lol. Tyler Perry probably doesnt care because he was to so, he his great grand kids probably would get the money. Because aint noway Sandra got the money to pay him.
Two gay roles. Prolly got the second one bc of the first. In White Chicks he was gay bc of a drug anyway lol. He didn’t accept it he complained about it and is gonna prolly get paid!
I’m so nosey I was actually waiting for the answer for that too lol but I think a high majority of the men who come here are gay no???? What say you?
nah! he played gay in white chicks,Friday after next,this movie called big big stan,he voice a prisoner raping a man in the boondocks cartoon! and in the longest yard! see a pattern?
I didn’t care on iota about who Luffah was seeing the music was awesome. Back in the day folks kept their business just to themselves and in these days of using Twitter for fake and real beef I wish we could return to it.
He’s dead he may have been closeted but it was no sercret.
No closeted doesn’t mean lying it means not talking about your same sex lifestyle but living it behind closed doors, example Kevin Spacey was closeted till he came out in a statement last moth.
Wrong. I take it none of yall know or live around closeted gay people and just speaking of celebs you’ve never met. You can go to gay bars live with a man but if you don’t claim yourself as gay, that’s closeted.
Nope. Are you or your daddy????
Who gives AF what some anon font on a black gossip board think about me. I’m not gay if so I’d admit it.
Oh I’m sorry Hun…I didn’t say ALL the men just most I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with…I know you’re not really offended but if you are non intended my dear
Latifah has admitted she has a female “partner”, so in effect she’s admitted she’s gay. Scratch her off your list.
If a person wants to stay in the closet, let them. It’s their life. All of the above mentioned are so rich they could retire from show business tomorrow, admit they’re gay (which they’re not) and live quite well.
I don’t believe Eddie Murphy is gay. Just because he has a lisp doesn’t make him gay. If Murphy is gay, he’s dropping a lot of sperm and making a lot of babies….gay men don’t do that.
You think Perry is in “denial”? IF he’s gay – or bisexual – it’s none of our business. Perry seems to be quite level headed and smart. A man like him doesn’t get that far by stupidity. He must be doing something right.
I don’t know why Sandra thought this was an interesting topic. So what Pattie Labelle went on TV and talked about Luther’s sexuality? She was sitting in between 2 gay men – so what else was she supposed to do?
“So my parents are fully aware, but here it is 23 years after officially coming clean and she still sort of acts as though its non-existent. ”
Try and see things from your mother’s perspective. She probably is not comfortable discussing homosexuality with anyone, much less her son. Also, you’re 43, let go of the sibling rivalry. You aren’t equal to your sister; you’re a man and you’re gay. Which means, unless you hire a surrogate, you’re not giving your mom any grandchildren. Live your life for YOU, not for anyone else. You don’t need external validation.
ion care. If I’m your friend I will take your secrets to the grave with me. Whether or not its really a secret. You won’t hear me say it. smh
Maybe, maybe not. Is your daddy or boyfriend is???
If you want to keep a secret, don’t tell a Gemini or a Sagittarius, they can’t hold water. But Sag can hold it a little longer than Gemini. Gemini for some reason can’t keep their mouth shut. Yes, Patti was wrong, because while Luther was alive, he told people it was none of their business. If he didn’t tell on himself, why would she tell? Patti wants to let everybody know that she “knew” Luther. Gemini’s have to tell somebody to get it off of themselves. So when you have something you don’t want known, DO NOT, I repeat…DO NOT — tell a Gemini. You have been warned. They are the so called “Messenger of the Gods” in the Astrological World.
Not her place. He trusted her and trust should not expire upon death. But Patti is petty anyway.
If Murphy is gay, he’s dropping a lot of sperm and making a lot of babies….gay men don’t do that.
HAHAHAHA yes they do! Eddie was caught with a tranny before and Yusef Mack has a gang of kids and is gay…DL gay men marry women and gay men have children….look at Bruce Jenner ooops I mean Kaitlyn Jenner. Just a couple of famous examples
You forgot about that wrestler who had a ton of kids and then did that gay porn. first he said he was bi sessal..now he owns his truth.. Alot of gay guys will grow their own beards with other women so people won’t suspect them of anything. There are a lot of very married men with kids who are super DL
That’s him the boxer dude…I think
In my personal view christianity is anti-sin period. WE as humans put different stigma on different types of sin. but sin is sin. Having sex out of marriage is sinful period. Whether I do it or whoever. There are a ton of sins Christians these days except because it is in their lifestyle but judge others sins.. but Christianity itself is nothing like that..
Yeaaahh the boxer dude I knew it was one or the other LOL
I have just one general question.. why is this important to be spoken of? He is dead. ON TOP of that. He did what MOST should do..keep his sex life private. What he did in his life outside of music is zero business of ours..
Plenty of gay men and women have families….
Errbody knew Luther was gay. Errbody knows Tyler is gay. Errbody knows Latifah is Gay. Errbody heard the rumors about Eddie and the rest of Gay Hollywood. Nobody really cares. If I like your body of work then I will support you. As long as you are not hiding behind a beard while bashing gays you are all right with me…
lmbo!!!
LOLLOLLOL!!!!!! Horrible aren’t they?
Lmao….Lies…… I’m a Sag and I got a list of chit that people told me in confidence that I’m taking to my grave! Don’t paint all Sag’s with the same brush! Cause if u a friend and we care about u, we’re loyal to no end! That mean keeping secrets too!
Why is this the black church’s fault???? Please back up off the black church!!! I’m not here for it today! There are plenty of gay and homosexuals of other ethnicities that still struggle to come out of the closet. This is an issue in our society as a whole!
If Luther and the rest of them want to keep their sexuality PRIVATE FOR WHATEVER REASON let it be. WHY WHY SHOULD THAT BE A PILL FOR SOCIETY to swallow. I personally am not interested nor do I PERSONALY GAF about somebody SEXUAL PREFERENCE. THAT’S BETWEEN THEN AND THEIR PARTNER. WTH an I gonna do if it’s disclosed? Hope will this benefit my life? Love and let live but don’t impose on my beliefs. If I don’t like you then that’s my cross to bare. If I break the law then that’s my punishment.
It’s none of my biznezz…i got enough bones in my own damn closet ?
I’m really going to try and heed your advice about seeing things from her prospective. I know it’s no cakewalk for her, but I just wish she’d make more of an attempt to see my POV. As a grown azz man, I shouldn’t have to live in secret when nobody else’s life is suppressed except mine. And there’s really no rivalry with my sister generally speaking. I just want to be treated as if my real life matters too. And my mom isn’t one of those old school “when are you gonna give me some grandkids” types. She’s more of a career oriented lady. Never pressured either of us like that; she’s more of a “get your education and career in place, the rest will follow” types. But I’m listening, and will make more of an attempt to just let things be, hell I’ve done it 43 years.?
Gay, straight, Bi or Tri Sexual. Luther’s music is timeless!!! He will always be R&B’s endless love. RIP Luth ??
He is.
Black women do marry.
Black & I am Proud.
Thank you!! ???? I too am a Sag and girl anything spoken to me, I’m taking to the grave!! Yes m extremely private my damn self so trying to get info from me is like pulling teeth! LITERALLY ???
I get so sick of people shitting on shame. Shame is a very useful emotion b/c if it wasn’t we wouldn’t feel it (even I believe the 1st mentioning of shame comes from the bible after Adam and Eve ate the fruit-they his their naked bodies but cha-no ). I call this new generation Feelenials b/c everything is about how it makes you feel. If it makes you feel bad that means it must be bad but that’s not always true. Thats why society is the way it is and it seems like everyone thinks the world is crazy but no one wants to say anything. The Matrix is breaking down.
Luther being gay is one of the worst kept secret. Him and Freddie both yeah I said it.
LIES! Everybody didn’t know or suspect Luther was anything until way later in his career. Luther hit it big with his very first single. Back then it was a career death for ANY RnB black singer to be even thought of as gay.
He did right and stayed deep in the closet to the very end.
Me working in the industry for as long as I have. I know a LOT about a LOT of people. Enough to start my own blog and trust me it would be the TOP blog in the black community(which is the only community that even cares about irrelevant things like that)
But I’m loyal to my craft and will NEVER throw ANYONE under the bus. Like messy Patti has. I lost ALL respect for her. Smh
Just to good it should be a crime.
Awe sh*t now, here I am underestimating Patty. Her milkshake bringing all the men to the yard. Lol.
I’m a Gemini, & I’ve known a secret since 1990 and still haven’t/never will tell my HS best friend. I know more than that one from way back in the 90s and never told, because if someone says”Don’t tell anyone”, I feel like they’re trusting me with the information, and if I do tell someone, it’s surely going to get back to them that I told.
I approve of this message ~ from a fellow gemini!
Tell us about some of those bones…
Exactly my point! We all fall short of the glory! Good to know you’re not Greek! Peace…
Queen came out years ago and was major Dee at long beach gay pride in 2013
NEVA!
LOL…dang it!
Honey, I am IN a Greek Org. Stop trying so hard to be deep.
It’s simplicity 101 @ it’s finest! Peace ?
What black organization have U pledged to????Sis!!!!Step on that!!!
Chile, like I said ! U chose to remain asleep! I’m not deep, I just chose to think for myself! Never have been a follower!
Fake Deep.
Move Along.
Bye Greek Sister! LMAO ????
Well Sandra, when are you going to come out of the closet?
But she’s NEVER spoke about it. She didn’t come out on her own accord. She was caught by the paparazzi making hömösëxual moves.
Duh…
Not so. She has been out a long time……. Trust me it is hard not to be out in Los Angeles when your going to gay bars and hugged up on a personal trainer who is also lesbian. And i mean hugged up.
Please show me a video or interview where this lady has acknowledged her hömösëxuality. I’ll wait…
She did it on her own show.
Video please…
do not have a video but Sandra has been posting pictures for 6 years now. ask her it is her site…
Well you’re the one that made the claim! She ain’t had that shît on her show. Yo äss making shït up and can’t back your words. GTFOH dümbäss.
Girl bye. My mother did her hair and Luthers…… If i am a dumb ass then you are the queen.I accept it and never bow down.
Bïtch your ranky dank àss mother ain’t did nobodies hair, but the old lady working in the soup kitchen at the homeless shelter. Nice fücking try! If that were true you wouldn’t have made up those easy to debunk LIE’S you attempted to sale. GTFOHWTBS
So now your talking about my mom. Seriously. My mom is dead now and she had a standing room only funeral for all the hair she did. My did allot of famous black people when she lived. She was one of the few black owned hair salons in Los Angeles in the 80s and 90s. I am proud of the door my mom opened for me allow me to always look good and have a great life. Shame of you.
Everybody mama dead! That shït doesn’t mean nothing! She still ranky dank, even in her grave.