Fan Mail: Fruitful advice to women who bed other women’s men

Here’s a fan mail from a loyal reader who wants to set all the groupies and hoochies straight on a few things. She wanted me to school you, but I have no experience in that area of groupie-dom and hoochie-ism.

There’s an entire cottage industry of websites devoted to women who can’t leave other women’s men alone – and this site is not one of them.

Anyway, it’s a long read, so grab a cup of coffee and make yourselves comfortable at your desks:

Hello Sandra,

First and foremost I’d like to say that I absolutely love your blog, and I read it everyday.

A few days ago, one of your posts about women making it easier for men to cheat (the one with BX and Usher). That is so true. The reason that I am emailing you, is to ask you to give some fruitful advice to all the women who end up bedding these “famous” men, thinking that if they sleep with them or have a baby by them that it will keep them from straying.. or even worse, get them to leave their wives & fiancees.

The fact of the matter is, when everything is said and done, the women are just another notch on the guys belt.. a groupie.. a jump off… a summer fling..etc.

Today, I received an email from an unknown person (who obviously wanted me to see something.. (which I am still trying to figure out what that something is) with a link to a website (for sports entertainment players & their fans) that has a forum that groupie’s apparently frequent.

The link I received in particular was a “fan site” for an individual that I had dated (we no longer have any contact) on and off for a period of 3 yrs (he was in the NFL and is now on the waiver wire) on Talk-Sports.net.

I checked out the link, which was for the “girlfriend forum”. There were multiple posts of jilted females that had encounters with this man. Most of them left nasty messages towards one another, which to me didn’t make any sense. Females, most of which are older than myself (I’m in my early twenties) claiming to be women bashing one another and attempting to place him on front street, instead of facing the music themselves.

They know they aren’t the only ones, yet they talk about how wrong he is and how they still love him all in the same paragraph!!!

I am from KS, and the city that this “man” is from has a close-knit black community. So, naturally EVERYONE knows EVERYONE and their business. Anyone that crosses this man’s path knows (or will find out after doing a little poking around) that he is indeed engaged to be married; and he is just doing what many guys like him that aren’t ready to face the reality of settling down do.. which is sowing his royal oats.

There are several players from different areas of the sports industry on that site alone that have threads from different women doing the same thing.

I am sure there are other forums out there like this one, where women comment thread, after thread, after thread…Now, keep in mind the purpose of my email is not to try to gain attention from the situation (If you should decide to do a post about my request~ Id rather remain unknown ), or to cry on your shoulder about what happened between that guy & myself, or to even put the women on blast (they do that themselves by stooping low enough to comment on their indiscretions)…

It’s just time for someone that has an influential voice in the black community to speak up to these women, so they can stop wasting their time chasing after what isn’t theirs and find happiness with a man that is actually interested in and willing to appreciate them.

We are all QUEENS, it’s time for us to start acting like it; and hopefully if more influential individuals speak to these audiences they can start getting the respect that they feel they deserve.

Thank you for your time.