More stars making bad choices in men

Sandra Rose March 12, 2008

When are we going to stop moving men into our homes and make them move us into theirs? And if they don’t have a home to move us into, can we move on to a man who does?

How U doin’, Henry?

EDIT: I removed the cover since the couples on it didn’t have anything to do with this post. Thanks to loyal reader, West Coast Stud, for these scans from Us magazine on stands now.

http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

Where are the bad choices? Brad and Angelina are a happy couple creating and adopting babies left and right. Nia is getting her Stella on and ain’t nothing wrong with that. She has a child, probably a bigger house and a more stable career so it seems natural that he would move in with her. He’s a cutie. And what’s wrong with Michelle and Henry? I wish them luck.
http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

I just found out that pic of Nia and Kevin is a year old. If they are still together after that long moving in together is not strange at all. I bet she’s having the time of her life with that youngin. I want one!
dat803chic

Nia n her boo(if he still her boo) are CUTE together!!!!Who cares if he’s younger than her,their in LOVE RIGHT????
Anywayz Michelle n Henry is also CUTE together!!!!They look WAY better than B n Jay!!!!
*I’m JUST SAYIN*
shhhh

Nia can do NO wrong in my eyes, even if I saw her pull the trigger, lol.
http://www.myspace.com/millyly milly

They all look good together if you ask me
kat

i don’t see why these couples are labeled “bad choices”…
brwnsugga4you

i don’t have a bad comment to say about this one. nia, michelle do your thang ladies!
NYCUTIE

Good Morning All

A woman should never feel comfortable moving in with a man because that gives him the upper hand to treat or talk to you however he wants to. At least if the man lives with you , you could kick his tail out if he starts to act a fool. Of course there are a few exceptions.. If the two of you have been together for a while and he decides he wants to marry you then it is ok for you to move in with him because he may be ready to settle down. Only if the dude ask you to marry you without you EVER bringing the subject of marriage up.
NYCUTIE

That is my personal opinion! Some folks on here take peoples comments way too personal… It is never that serious! LOL!
zidane

Where’s the bad choices here Sandra? Do you know or have dealt with any of these men on a personal basis to consider them bad choices?
http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

NYCUTIE

I’m with you. I have been a prisoner in my own home because my man was the only one on the lease. Even when I tried to leave the police wouldn’t let me take my clothes because he said they were his. Nia did the right thing. Like I said she has a son to think about.
tbrown

Nia’s cool with me. Bad choice? Well that could happen with any man, be they a youngin’ or no. As for Michelle…I thought she was dating some rich, YT dude in Chi-town?
JustSaying

Nia and NO other woman should ever let a man move in with them if they are not married and especially if there is a child in the house. What kind of message is she sending her son? The message could very well be get you a suga mamma to take care of you son. Not a good message.

I am a Nia supporter but she dropped the ball on this one.
bloggergirlz

@ nycutie:

i agree w/ u as well…i moved for a nicca some yrs back for a hot sec and he started acting a damn fool! i politely found me an apartment and moved out!

on the flipside, i’ll probably be hesitant to move into “his” house if we got married…unfortunately in my “mind” i would still feel like it’s “his” house and wonder about other women who may have visited in the past and/or lived there! not a good look…let’s buy a NEW house TOGETHER!
http://usherworld sweetface

THIS IS OLD NEWS YOU GUYS TACK THOSE NEWS FROM THE STAR MANGIZINE AND US THEY NOY TRUE AT ALL IS ALL RUMBERS.IF IT WAS TRUE?WOULD THEY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT BY NOW SHM.
NyNy

Last I heard was that Nia was dating a football player and she has been out with him a lot with her child to different events. This news here is old news and and far as Michelle with Henry he is the same guy that Eva the Diva dumped because he is gay.
MzScorpo

How U doin’, Henry?

Dang Sandra, I wasn’t even going to say anything…….but I sure was wondering………LOL
http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

The pic of Nia and Kevin is very old, but I think the new story out of it is that they just moved in together. I don’t think it’s horrible for an unmarried couple to move in together if they are already fornicating. Now they are moving on to the next phase and will learn if they can live together before they take the plunge. That can be a good thing. Plus it’s obvious the age thing wasn’t sitting well with her since she has been doing a pretty good job of hiding the relationship. I just saw a pic of Bobby Brown’s fine a$$ son. If I could get my hands on that tenderoni I might move him in too.
Mississippigirl08

Yup that’s him. Eva use to date him…and word got out that he was gay. He hasn’t been seen or heard of being with a female since her. I don’t think.

Yea and Nia is dating a baller now.
kpakpando

RE: Nia
Is that the boy she was with who started the fight at the mall with her ex-con/DL/ex-fiance/baby daddy? So he’s an “actor” right? What productions has he been in or is this one of those situations that she’s calling him an actor/producer because he does nothing and she’s carrying him?

RE: Michelle
I’m sorry I still don’t believe she’s anything less than 31. Henry is good looking, but for whatever reasons those gay rumors keep following him around
http://www.smokiesays.blogspot.com/ Smokie

When are we going to stop moving men into our homes and make them move us into theirs? And if they don’t have a home to move us into, can we move on to a man who does?
_______

Amen to that. Couldn’t agree more. But the women can’t WAIT on a man who has something going for himself. The hard working REAL men are busy, truthful, and not whispering b.s. promises in the women’s ear like easy-to-get men are so famous for. Women get so caught up in what a man is saying that they can’t even focus on what he is or is not DOING. It’s easy to get a half-azz man to fill your head with promises and to move in with you and d-ck you down, but a real woman knows that patience will land her a real man.
venitaapplebum

I guess its okay when the white’s do it (hint) Demi & Auston, Brad & Angelina must I go on. Sandra your cazy always trying to stir up some mess……….
AreUForReal

Sandra,

When you made this post did you know that Nia and Kevin have Kevin haev been together for years? That for a minute teir relationship was bi-coastal because he was on his grind, getting his acting career off the ground? Do you know anything about that mans background that qualifies him as a bad choice? Do you, becasue I know some things and he’s a good dude. Please don’t go back to dogging people to boost comments. You don’t need to. We already like you……sometimes. ;O)
pinkvirgo

I don’t see a problem with it and maybe her place was bigger or maybe she doesn’t want to leave her home.If it doesn’t work then she’ll be assed out,this way she has the upper hand and she can tell him get the hell on if she so chooses.
http://www.smokiesays.blogspot.com/ Smokie

NYCUTIE Says:

Good Morning All

A woman should never feel comfortable moving in with a man because that gives him the upper hand to treat or talk to you however he wants to. At least if the man lives with you , you could kick his tail out if he starts to act a fool.
____

Wow. I think that you can kind of guage a man before you marry/move in with him. A kind man with integrity who treats a woman like God says a man should treat a woman – would never have you as a prisoner in your home or kick you out… His upbringing and sense of decency wouldn’t allow it. So, maybe it’s the choices that we INTIALLY make that need to be re-examined. Saying “he can move in with me! I aint movin in with that n)gga so he can kick me out!” is a an indicator that you’ve probaby picked a bad one. When you are TRULY in a healthy relationship with a man you feel secure, protected, and loved. You don’t feel like “saving your azz cuz this fool might put me out.” That’s just an indication that you are with the wroooooong n*gga.
AreUForReal

@ kpakpando

He actually had one of the lead roles in Pride. The movie about the swim team with Bernie Mack and Terrance Howard.
AreUForReal

Smokie Says:

Wow. I think that you can kind of guage a man before you marry/move in with him. A kind man with integrity who treats a woman like God says a man should treat a woman – would never have you as a prisoner in your home or kick you out… His upbringing and sense of decency wouldn’t allow it. So, maybe it’s the choices that we INTIALLY make that need to be re-examined. Saying “he can move in with me! I aint movin in with that n)gga so he can kick me out!” is a an indicator that you’ve probaby picked a bad one. When you are TRULY in a healthy relationship with a man you feel secure, protected, and loved. You don’t feel like “saving your azz cuz this fool might put me out.” That’s just an indication that you are with the wroooooong n*gga.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You better preach girl!!!! I tell my friends all the time that men show you signs of crazy early in the relationship, and to pay close attention to those early signs of crazy.

Sorry for the multiple post y’all. I read the comments last this time. Backwards I know. ;O)
Nikki

All I can say is that she is grown and she pays her own bills. If she like it, I love it!!
HeyNow

AreUForReal Ditto to you!!!!As for Henry I haven’t heard the gay rumors when did this start?? He is a fine brotha to me.Go michelle if indeed they are dating.
Nicole

I don’t think that Henry is gay, but it’s really the “thug” types you have to look out for. Just because he is a handsome, clean-cut man makes him gay? In interviews, I have not gotten any tang vibes from him…however I could be wrong. I stick with my initial vote of “not gay”.
kpakpando

AreUForReal Says:

He actually had one of the lead roles in Pride. The movie about the swim team with Bernie Mack and Terrance Howard.

_______

Thanks, I personally have never seen him before, good to know he’s a working actor. I don’t agree with any man moving into a woman’s house, hell I don’t really agree with a woman moving into a man’s house either but I was raised differently than many people.
Anti-believer

Re: Michelle & Henry isn’t even true. That’s really false.
Minnie

Hey I don’t see nothing wrong with these lovely couples !
Matter of fact I love to see grown, sexy and emancipated women getting their grub on with younger cats. Why not? Only men are able to do it ? Hell to the Nawwwww!
Michelle great pick!
pinkvirgo

You can someone gauge a man before but you truly don’t know anyone until you live with them and that doesn’t mean spending a few nights here and there.Furthermore I’m not saying thats why she did it I was just giving examples as to why she may have been comfortable in her home rather than his.Also you may not got kicked but hell you may just want to leave and it is true that there are telltale signs of crazy but sometimes ppl just spaz out.
pinkvirgo

I don’t think Henry is gay either,just pretty.
kpakpando

pinkvirgo Says:

You can someone gauge a man before but you truly don’t know anyone until you live with them and that doesn’t mean spending a few nights here and there.Furthermore I’m not saying thats why she did it I was just giving examples as to why she may have been comfortable in her home rather than his.Also you may not got kicked but hell you may just want to leave and it is true that there are telltale signs of crazy but sometimes ppl just spaz out.
____________

If a person have to live with everyone to gauge how they are, then it’s possible that the person is not a good judge of character to begin with.
Yanaja

Nicole Says:

I don’t think that Henry is gay, but it’s really the “thug” types you have to look out for. Just because he is a handsome, clean-cut man makes him gay? In interviews, I have not gotten any tang vibes from him…however I could be wrong. I stick with my initial vote of “not gay”.
——————–

I second that. I think he is gorgeous and very manly. I may be biased though because he’s from my hometown…wasn’t he the one who wanted to marry Eva and she flaked on his proposal or something?

As for Nia, I personally have always dated men who are on or above my level financially, but to each his own. I know alot of women who don’t mind being the primary bread winner. If he treats her well and respects her child than to hell with all that other shit. How is she making a bad choice? Has a story come out that he drained her bank account? Let me know Sandra…
pinkvirgo

kpakpando Says:
If a person have to live with everyone to gauge how they are, then it’s possible that the person is not a good judge of character to begin with.

Now you’re just being funny.You know exactly what I meant when I say you don’t know a person until u live with them.Some ppl have idiosyncrasies that you don’t know they have until you have lived with them but whatever continue to live oblivion if you choose.
JustSaying

Wow. I think that you can kind of guage a man before you marry/move in with him. A kind man with integrity who treats a woman like God says a man should treat a woman – would never have you as a prisoner in your home or kick you out… His upbringing and sense of decency wouldn’t allow it. So, maybe it’s the choices that we INTIALLY make that need to be re-examined. Saying “he can move in with me! I aint movin in with that n)gga so he can kick me out!” is a an indicator that you’ve probaby picked a bad one. When you are TRULY in a healthy relationship with a man you feel secure, protected, and loved. You don’t feel like “saving your azz cuz this fool might put me out.” That’s just an indication that you are with the wroooooong n*gga.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you are doing it as God says you would not be having premarital sex let alone living together. For me no living togeter at all. Like Mama said ‘Why buy the cow when you can get to milk for freww’.
Yanaja

pinkvirgo Says:

Some ppl have idiosyncrasies that you don’t know they have until you have lived with them.

————————

I agree with you. People feel comfortable in their homes so they let their outside guard down and are in their truest form. I have a non-relationship. This ex-coworker of mine was neurotic as hell about keeping her workspace clean. I kid you not, she used a whole box of those Clorox wipes in one week. She would come to my office and always comment about all the paperwork piled on my desk. So anyhow, we planned an outlet shopping trip and I stopped at her apartment to pick her up. As soon as I walked in, I was immediately put off by a stench. Her apartment was NASTY NASTY NASTY. Clothes everyone. Dishes piled up. Food containers and plates everywhere and she didn’t even apologize for the mess. I would have never known that she was a slob had I not been to her home.
kpakpando

pinkvirgo Says:

Now you’re just being funny.You know exactly what I meant when I say you don’t know a person until u live with them.Some ppl have idiosyncrasies that you don’t know they have until you have lived with them but whatever continue to live oblivion if you choose.
_____

Actually I wasn’t trying to be funny, but you don’t need to live with someone to know their major faults and discover a lack of compatibility, you should be able to figure that out in the course of any relationship if you are(want to be) observant. Actually if you really wanted to know, you could find out most of their peculiar habits, but I think too many people are caught up and decide to gloss over the details until a later time.
Personally, I don’t think it’s the little idiosyncrasies that breaks up most relationships, and you would have to question yourself (your level of commitment/actual non-erotic love for your partner) if one of their habits will make you walk away from what you have presumably spent time building.
http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

pinkvirgo

I was just sitting here looking at the comments thinking to each his own I guess. We all have differant life experiences. kpakpando may really think you can get to know a person completely BEFORE you move in with them. Those of us who have ever lived with anyone, rather it be a lover or ust a roommate, knows that is not true. BUT I still applaud women who refuse to live with a man before marraige. I pray they get a husband out of that deal, but I know from life experience that many of them won’t. Some of them will lose their man over it. I know a couple going through that right now. Anywho, it’s interesting to read the differant opinions on this topic while I know someone in this situation. I think I might tell the person to read the blog.
Mia

@ Smokie ~ I’m with you.

I think you’d have to be a pretty insecure person to worry about moving in with someone and worrying about who was there before you. And if you think you’re significant other is treating you like shit just because you’re in his place, it’s time to move on because it’s not just about you “giving him control” by moving in with him.
kpakpando

@Bird

like you said we all have different life experiences and it is these experiences that lead us to make decisions about the next steps we want to take in our lives. I don’t think you can ever really know someone else completely, whether you live with them or not; I’m sure so many wives/husbands of 15+ years are finding something new or shocking about their spouses today and are surprised that this is the same person they’ve been living/sharing a life with for x amount of years.
I’m saying AMEN to your prayer too
http://www.findentertainmentnow.com miesha@FindEntertainmentNow.com

I agree with Smokie, Kpakpando, & Just Sayin…
Many people say they are Christians but live the watered down version, making their own rules, comforts and justifications. It may be hard to say no and yes times have changed but living with a man before you married, him with you or you with him isn’t the right idea. Waiting is good and trusting God is worth it. But even in saying that i do not come down on Nia. I don’t agree with her choices but i don’t have to either. It is her life and her judgement before God, not man. We all do things that are not righteous daily and living with a guy before marriage is not above or below the rest of that other stuff. But it’s still good to see that there are some people on here that still try to really follow the Bible!
NYCUTIE

Most woman don’t learn from the mistakes they made in their previous relationships. That is the reason they end up dating the same type of man over & over.. If you don’t learn from your past experiences, then you will NEVER find the right man.
As far as premarital sex is concerned, I wouldn’t want to save myself for a man that is not as pure as I am. A lot of woman I have spoken to don’t care if their man is a virgin or not. Doesn’t make sense to me..
gemini83

Is he the one that played in 300?? He was the weird GAYISH looking ruler that had on all that jewelry? Somebody let me know. He looks like him.
gemini83

Oh, I’m talking about Michelle’s boo.
hellava10

My,my,my—(I’m not talking the R Kelly age difference) there is nothing wrong with a Cougar. It’s absolutley wonderful. I skip to work on a regular! I’ll bet my 2 nickels she has a smile on her face EVERY morning and gets a good night sleep after she sweats out her perm.

Now, moving in a personal decision and nobody else can tell you when they are ready–Especially when there is a child involved. I KNOW it’s against everything God would want, but so is having sex without being married–but we all know the deal with that. You shouldn’t live together but you have a toothbrush at his crib and giving up the snacks daily – twice on Saturday? You have to be smart and think about your children first.
eishaKC

How about we get MARRIED
THEN
buy a house TOGETHER ?

When will adults set the example to teach the youth that if you don’t know a person well enough to get married then you certainly don’t know them well enough to live with them or be mixing body fluids.

If a man or woman is immature enough to put off marriage because a someone doesn’t want to live with them first then s/he should thank God for dodging that bullet; a person who is truly in love or anywhere near it will respect and accept that.
That’s a rule not made to be broken, it could save heartache and headache.

AND even once married you still learn things about the other person so you don’t know them fully just because you lived together before matrimony.
( Personal experience speaking here.)
gemini83

Ok, maybe not, because I can’t find it anywhere on the net.
eishaKC

gemini83 Says:
“Is he the one that played in 300?? He was the weird GAYISH looking ruler that had on all that jewelry? Somebody let me know. He looks like him.”

No, that’s not him.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Simmons
pinkvirgo

Here I go again.I have a very close and personal relationship with God I go to church and I read the bible. I am really working on things that I have issues with and I am not here to have p*ssing contest over who is gonna be sitting front row in heaven. I think what works for me may not work for you. I am by no means a virgin! I can’ believe I’m saying this again but if you are then hooray.But I am 26 years old and I don’t know any virgins other than a few kids and I look at some of them to the left.Call it watered down if you like we all sin and fall short(I mean we all).I Maybe I have sex maybe you do whatever it is you do but trust me you are doing something that someone is shaking their head at.I am a realist and for that reason I should really stay off the internet b/c ppl kill me with all the e-fronting that they do.The same ones that are talking about buying cows and omg I would never do that are getting tossed on a regular.lmao.I respect everyones opinion but at the end of the day lets do a hand count of the virgins and saints and trust we won’t come up with many.
http://www.smokiesays.blogspot.com/ Smokie

I just think we could save ourselves a lot of heartache if we paid attention to the signs of a bum n*gga at first — and stopped making excuses and rationalizing why we are even with his sorry azz. I can remember being 22 and letting a nut move in with me. I knew he was a nut when we met, knew he was a nut when I got pregnant, knew he was a nut when it ended. But that was 13 years ago. I’ll be d@mned if I hook up with another NUT and just “hope it works out”… it never does. And now, with a son, I couldn’t live with a man if I wanted to. Little boys have a way of holding you accountable for the dumb decisions that we, as women, can make. (Oh yeah, we can make some real dumb fly by night decisions.) My son will question me to no end if I let a man do something that he innately knows a GOOD man wouldn’t do.

I’m getting married in May, and I had to wait wait wait for a real dude to come along who could help ME mentally, emotional, physically, and financially. I told him from day one, “I don’t shack. And I don’t date forever either. Period”. I’ve noticed that real men respect that declaration. And if they don’t… NEXT! Someone else is always ready to scoop up a good woman.

I don’t think that little idiosyncrasies will break up a relationship. However, when you get out of DENIAL and face the fact that you rushed to move in with someone who you KNEW was mean, lazy, irresponsible, uncaring, etc…well, that might send you packing.
hellava10

Congrats Smokie!!!!!!! I commend you–marriage is a wonderful thing, with the One.
Lisa

The source is US Weekly..enough said!!!!
pmap

I don’t really care what anyones opinion is. Everyone has had different experiences and i can respect that.

My problem is simple.
What happened to this?
https://sandrarose.com/2008/02/28/a-new-day-is-dawning/

I see it didn’t take long for the coonery to return. What a waste of a post.
http://www.myspace.com/bettathaniwasb4 2bme

desperation is at an alltime high i see
http://www.myspace.com/birdshu Bird

Congratulations Smokie!! I have not met a good man in a long long long long long long time. lol. Did I say long? Now I have met a man that appears to be marraige material, but there are no sparks. I’m trying to be patient and get to know him better but it’s tough. Were sparks flying when you first met your fiance?
pinkvirgo

Congrats Smokie ur in my city maybe I’ll crash the wedding lol.
http://www.smokiesays.blogspot.com/ Smokie

Thanks, y’all… Yeah Bird, there were sparks. I was very physically attracted to him and vice versa, but I was not used to someone so incredibly NICE and dependable and just genuinely kind. I like nice men, but he was super nice and traditional, put me up way high on a pedistal (basically, loving me like the bible says a man should love a woman). When we first met I did wonder, “Is he too nice for me?? Can I break him down and make him a little mean?” ’cause you know how synical I can be. lol But I fought that “undeserving talk” because I had just prayed for a husband for the first time in my life… and then we met 3 days later and he had all of the qualities I’d asked for – including “real nice” and “tall”. Now, I really appreciate his niceness SO much and I can relax and just be happy and secure.

Sorry for the long posts. I’m talkative today.
http://www.smokiesays.blogspot.com/ Smokie

…and “very physically attracted to” does not mean he looks like a model. It just means that he was physically what I like. You know, we all have characteristics that we are attracted to…
katgirl33

Looks like Michelle got herself a winner!!!! Henry is FINE FINE FINE!!!

Go Girl!!!
bloggergirlz

@ smokie:

i truly enjoyed reading post #54. stay blessed and congrats on the marriage…u got me sitting here thinking about some things…ur words were strong and on point…
NYCUTIE

Congrats Smokie!!! I totally agree with everything you wrote in #54! I really appreciate your honesty! You are DEFINITELY a real strong woman!!! Shacking is definitely NOT the s*** when you have kids..

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