Therapist Vanessa Milagros was a guest on Monday’s episode of the Tamron Hall Show where she explained the science behind the viral “bird theory” relationship trend.
The bird theory test indicates how strong your bond is with your partner if he or she stops what they’re doing and turns toward you.
When a person uses a mundane term such as “I saw a bird today,” their partner should turn toward them to hear more about the bird.
Therapists call the bird test theory “bids for connection.”
According to Vanessa, the bids for connection was popularized by the marriage researcher John Gottman and his wife Julie, who tested thousands of couples.
The research study concluded that couples who stay married turn toward each other’s bids around 86% of the time.
“So this is like a tiny, everyday moment that matters?” Tamron asked Vanessa. “You say it and then you’ll see how your partner is paying attention? Help me understand.”
Vanessa said the bid connections involves trying to connect with your partner in small ways throughout the day.
“So maybe you’re sharing something that happened during the day. A thought you had or an opinion, something interesting. And if your partner is kind of ignoring you, brushing you off or maybe they’re minimizing it. But if they turn towards you, if they say ‘Ok, well tell me more about that.’ If they engage with you, then you feel seen.”
Tamron is married to music executive Steven Greener. They share a 6-year-old son named Moses Greener. Moses is pictured with his mom while leaving a NY Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on December 7.
Watch the video below.
Therapist Vanessa Milagros goes behind the science of the viral "bird theory" trend! pic.twitter.com/QADwgp7sDv
— Tamron Hall Show (@TamronHallShow) December 8, 2025
