Jenifer Lewis opened up about her bipolar disorder and how the delusions helped her pursue a career in acting.
The 68-year-old comedic actress was first diagnosed bipolar in 1990. She documented her delusional disorder in her 2017 book, titled “The Mother of Black Hollywood.”
Jenifer explained her bipolar disorder in an appearance on former first lady Michelle Obama’s and Craig Robinson’s podcast, “IMO.”
‘Well, you know I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was in my early thirties,” she told Michelle and Craig. “And I wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor and I wasn’t. You know, I came out with that, Michelle, I came out with hope… I was born with it. It was a gift, the gift of leadership, the gift of joy. My job my entire life was to make people laugh. But I wasn’t happy.”
She continued: “And I wanted on my face what I left with everybody’s else’s face. I wanted to be happy.”
She said she began therapy at age 32 during the AIDS epidemic when more than 200 of her friends died from the AIDS virus.
“Everybody’s gay on Broadway and those were my friends and I was on Broadway at the time,” Jenifer said.
“And Craig and Michelle, they dropped like flies. That was a pandemic – we were too young to see all that death. We weren’t prepared to experience that.”
Jenifer said she had a nervous breakdown, and a friend who was a social worker told her she needed help.
She said the “highs” of mania can cause harm to others, but she also credits the disorder with helping her to pursue a career in acting by giving her confidence.
“It can ruin your entire life, and your family’s life, and those who love you,” Jenifer told The Root.
“I became a leader,” she said. “Captain of the cheerleading squad, president of my class. When I got to college, I didn’t look at the call board to see if I had been cast. I knew I had been cast.”
Jenifer said she felt “bigger” than the city of New York itself when she was experiencing a manic episode. “The arrogance, the omnipotence, the delusions of grandeur came with the mania,” she said. “You’re unstoppable.”
