According to online reports, Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson recently proposed to her fiance, David "Punk" Otunga, and presented him with a personally designed 5-carat Neil Lane engagement ring worth more than you and I make in a year.

The problem with this news is twofold: first, Punk already proposed to Jennifer 5 months ago; and second, her actions smacks of desperation.

It is never romantic for a woman to reverse the man's role. Punk has already proposed to Jennifer. So now she needs to concentrate on planning her upcoming nuptials with the help of her sistah girls -- instead of buying him expensive trinkets and making a grand show of proposing to him.

Ladies, play your role. Stay in your lane. YOU be the woman and let HIM be the man. The problem with black women today is that we've reversed the roles by raising our boys to be bitches instead of men. We coddle these boys, look the other way when they're bad, and encourage their total disrespect towards other women because of our own self-hate issues.

The only way I can co-sign J-Hud's behavior is if she knows her fiance is on the down low, and she wants to treat him like the queen that he is -- then this would all make sense. Otherwise, her behavior is all wrong and reflects the wrong image of strong black men.

Source

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    Hmmmm...if dude already proposed to her, why did she feel the need to propose to him? That's retarded. Perhaps a piece of the story is missing.

    But I agree with you Sandra. Everyone should know their role.

  • SunnyPA

    I'm just curious as to what kinda ring he gave her?

  • Daisy

    I knew you would post this story lol

    J huds ring is nice she showed it several times on various shows

  • Divinebrown

    I dont think the 2 issues are related. However, we need to remember she just lost over half of her immediate family and he has been there for her during this entire ordeal. Maybe she wanted to do something unconventional and out of the ordinary as a token and pledge of her love. In her case...I dont see anything wrong with it. I'm sure he was flattered.

    Honestly, it takes a very confident woman to propose to a man. Regardless of what he already did for her.

    GO ON JEN!!!!

  • melinla

    There has to be more to the story...I'm confused as to why she would propose to him if they already had pending nuptials...Maybe she never gave him a definite answer????

  • iscream

    I'm confused. What does HIM proposing to HER have to do with single mothers raising sons. & why does it always have to be a black woman thang. NEWS FLASH YOU'RE BLACK!

    & for all I know this could've been a birthday ring, a thank you for holding me down when shyt was tough ring, or hell what if its an actual wedding ring. I mean they are engaged to get married. If she is in fact pregnant they could be getting married this weekend.

    You just take any chance you get to take a stab at black men no matter how good or bad they are. DAVID is a lawyer who graduated from a great school. He never came across as disrespectful on I love NY & I doubt he is disresptful to Jen.

    You must be talking about that thugalicios nicca Monica is engaged to.

  • SunnyPA

    As long as he got her a nice engagement ring too. Anyway, I thought it's customary for the woman to get the man an engagement gift as well. I don't know about an engagement ring and proposing...

    I'm not married but was engaged and bought my man an expensive watch with a message engraved. I thought it was customary. When we broke up, he wanted the ring back but didn't give me the watch back.

    Oh well!!

  • LadyJustice

    she said on some show that she was in the process of planning the wedding... why would she back track and propose when he already done that? hmmm

  • goat76

    I need to know who wrote this post....WOMEN should play their role......Sandra did you write this?????

  • PAGESINADIARY

    IM NOT BUYING THE STORY

  • Lala11_7

    Auntie...

    I'M RIGHT HERE WITH YOU ON THIS ONE!!!

    (and by the way...a WATCH is the customary gift)...

  • The Divine Ms. K

    Lord, is everything this deep? Maybe she just wanted to do a nice gesture and show her love for him.

    I mean, I take out the trash sometimes and my hubby washes dishes - is this outta my lane?

  • BayArea

    Interesting post....

  • http://www.oneperfectassistant.com ggouch

    What happened did his proposal have an expiration date? I agree 200% with this post Sandra. This is one tradition I feel women should stay in their place.

    Yes I said it!! "stay in your place Jennifer!"

  • SunnyPA

    I think Jennifer proposing is okay...maybe reported out of context. I think it's customary to do something in return when engaged. Jennifer took it a step further by proposing.

  • SunnyPA

    Thanks Lala

  • Kymystry

    A Black Lesbian .. tellin Straight Black women to stay in their lanes ? ... follow with tradition ... ain't THAT ironic than a muffaga ... lol .. lol .. lol

    and I co-Sign with Divine ... still laffin my azz off

  • Charles

    This is a HOT MESS!

  • iscream

    @ divine I agree.

    Anyway...

    I Got my Christte cd (again thanks Iyonah for the link). & while she was sold out yesterday. Today there were about 5 left when I got there.

    But

    Super C still sat there collecting spider webs. There were about 25 to 30 cds on the rack for her. I almost brought one but I already have a coaster on my table at home. Sorry CiCi.

  • LadyJustice

    PEOPLE . com said it was his birthday she just wanted to do something nice for him. just wanted to let him know that she really wanted to marry him and to eff what the blogs say. lol

  • ReadTheBlog

    KYMMYYYY!!!!!! YOu are my new best friend! That's whta I am saying? How is a gay woman gonna tell a straight woman how to behave with men?

    Like Oil and Water - IT DON'T MIX!

  • KaraZ

    Sandra I agree with the general gist of the post, women need to concentrate on being women and not be everything to everyone; however I don't see how you related it back to JHud and Punk... but i'm sure it makes sense in SandraRoseville.

  • Lucy

    A Black Lesbian .. tellin Straight Black women to stay in their lanes ? … follow with tradition … ain’t THAT ironic than .

    ________________________________________________________

    Be it muffins or hot dogs a woman is still a woman.

  • iscream

    Thank you Lady Justice that's what I thought. This story didn't even make one ounce of sense. Just a way for Sandra to take a stab at something she doesn't understand.

    A man loving a woman. A woman having a child. Being black...

  • whatdoesitmatter

    Amen, SR, amen!!!!!!!! STAY IN YOUR LANE!!!!

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    yvonne Says:

    Hmmmm…if dude already proposed to her, why did she feel the need to propose to him? That’s retarded.

    ***************************************************************

    She proposed to him because she's desperate to show the world that she has a man. She should sit down and half a talk with Terry McMillian. Terry thought she had a man too. She wrote a whole book about him. :)

  • Naima

    First of all Punk mom is white. Second of all there probably is more to the story, they probably getting married soon and she doesn't want folks to find out when and where the wedding is

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    LadyJustice Says:

    PEOPLE . com said it was his birthday she just wanted to do something nice for him. just wanted to let him know that she really wanted to marry him and to eff what the blogs say. lol
    ------------
    So there you have it! Mystery solved. LOL

  • ELove

    Very Interesting indeed ...

  • carmelita79

    oh please if that's what she wants to do let her do it. it has nothing to do with her being desperate.

  • Charles

    Who the

  • http://myspace.com/eastpointvet eastpointvet

    i wouldn't want to get proposed 2 but i do want a ring while we engaged its only fair the women know im off the market other than by simply telling them

  • Kymystry

    Soooo .. Sandra .. is Ielon .. Bloggergirl... Prynsexxx going to be re-instated as well .. and the smiley's too ? ? ? ?

  • iscream

    @ the people saying stay in your lane please explain what that means. I'm a big advocate of to each its own.

    While I wouldn't propse to a man (at least not right now) what's wrong if a woman is tired of waiting & does it?

    The actor Michael Jai White's wife proposed to him and in his essence interview he never mentioned the word desperate. He said he was shocked & immediately said yes bc he knew he would spend the rest of his life with her.

    Once upon a time it was looked down for a woman to work and look at us now.

  • brenden

    When will Black women let their men be men,,,,,I often ask myself that while reading this blog,,,,Everyone is gay, everyone is suspect....If you're shaking hands with another guy, there's something hidden between the lines, if a man is smiling in a picture....Oh boy he must have had some good d*ck last night...If a man breaks down into tears while performing,,,,Oh yes now that's a real man?!?! Um ok. Being vulnerable makes you human, but it doesn't necessarily make you a man. A man cant be a man when there's way too many interpretations of what a real man is... *steps off soap box*heehee

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    Heeeeeee'sssssss baaaaaccccckkkkkkk

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    @Kymystry..don't forget Carmeldrop. Isn't she banned as well?

  • Kymystry

    and I concur with brenden .. for ONCE ... lol .. lol

  • Daisy

    Yall said it all then some

  • anti-PC

    I'm thinking that Jennifer gave it to him as a gift. I don't know the whole story but it makes no sense for her to propose to him if he has already popped the question to her.

  • Kymystry

    Thanks yvonne ... for the reminder ...

    Soooo .. Sandra .. is IELON .. BLOGGERGIRL… PRYNSEXXX AND CARMELDROP !!!

    going to be re-instated as well .. and the smiley’s too ? ? ? ?

  • brenden

    Kymystry Says:

    and I concur with brenden .. for ONCE … lol .. lol

    awwww u know u eluv me.lol

  • MistaO

    Sandra - you're making all kinds of sense with this post.

    I concur and far too many of our women refuse to accept the kind of knowledge you just dropped.

    Heres to hoping that more adopt this very logical manner of thinking, especially the statements concerning how many of these females have been trying to "raise" these boys...

  • iscream

    & Carameldrop is she coming back?

    @ topic

    Is there a difference between nagging a man for a ring (when are we getting married, why haven't you asked me to marry you, its been x amount of time if you don't pop the question I'm leaving)

    What's the difference btw saying, when will you marry me & will you marry me?

  • teecee

    i agree brenden.....

  • Daisy

    Ice good point and I have never done either and would never propose to a man as somebody pointed out it was Davids b day he had already asked her to marry him so I don't see the problem here
    Why is it always the black womans fault damn enough alredy

  • Kymystry

    Soooo .. Sandra .. is IELON .. BLOGGERGIRL… PRYNSEXXX AND CARMELDROP !!!

    going to be re-instated as well .. and the smiley’s too ? ? ? ?

  • iscream

    @ Mista O so I guess little girls don't need their fathers?

    *&%*@ !

    & Sandra for someone to be "republican" what's your view on abortions? I mean that's the only way to keep all these bastard son's from being born to these dumb ass single mothers.

    I swear you all have NO CLUE of what raising a kid is about. You say mothers coddle their sons. So only little girls need to be shown love!

    Can we please get another topic? Its Friday and I can't.

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    Is there a difference between nagging a man for a ring (when are we getting married, why haven’t you asked me to marry you, its been x amount of time if you don’t pop the question I’m leaving)
    ---------
    That's a great question!
    Everyone prior to getting involved in a relationship should know what the destination point is. If both parties have an understanding that the goal is to reach the finish line, I don't see anything wrong with having the "marriage" discussion. While the discussion is taking place, I believe we as women need to listen objectively to the words coming out of that man's mouth because they will tell you EXACTLY what his intentions are.

    As far as nagging, I don't think that is a good thing at all. He will give you a ring to shut up your holler and go about his business. Next thing you know, it will be three years later and still haven't walked to the alter.

  • iscream

    Or the woman will get knocked up, trap the man, he'll marry her, cheat, complain and 3 to 5 years later she's a single mother... or as Daisy likes to put it an ex wife.

    I see it all d time. All d time. Smh

  • http://myspace.com/necee518 yvonne79

    @IScream: Yep, you are so right about that one!

  • mizzdallas

    heeeey! charles e-waving hard lol!

    new post please!!!

  • PAHairston

    Hello All. My opinion? Since Punk proposed first, I see no reason why she proposed to him and bought him a ring. Now if he HADN'T proposed 1st, it would be a totally different story. Besides, Jennifer has been thru hell and back. (She must be a grounded Christian.) Let her be.

  • PAHairston

    I meant "I see no harm in her proposing to him and buying him a ring."

  • Kymystry

    Since it was a birthday present ... this post is Moot .. other than .. my lil tiny picket sign for my folks ...

    Ielon

    Bloggergirl

    CarmelDrop

    Prynsexxx

  • Divinebrown

    It's not like she had it on primetime NBC and webcasted for all to see.

    Bottom line....I've heard weay more weird shiet worse than this. Under no circumstances, would I ever consider proposing, but DONT NOBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY MEN. Unless you been married 20 plus GTFOH....

    __________________________________________________________

    Bring back the homies campaign 09....CaramelDrop and Bloggergirl, Prynn!!! Bring back the homies.....Bring back the homies

  • mizzdallas

    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies
    Sandra bring back the homies

  • Divinebrown

    Where'd Charles go? All that campaigning we did to get him back he better get up in here and say some funny shiet! ASAP!!!

  • Daisy

    Ice yes I like to refer to ex wives as just that ex wives not all of them trapped their hubby I do not knock single mothers either though to each their own as for me and mine I do want to be married when I have kids I pray that I am blessed to have that one day if not I still would like to have kids as well

    Give us free let freedom ring fight the power all that for the banned folks

  • Charles

    SANDRA sis when you gawn post about ciara flip flopping up and down the charts

    DEAD @ her selling 70k first week, and to think you said brandy was the biggest flop, BRANDY OUTsold ciara HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

  • Charles

    Hey divine, you know i really wanted you back i asked about you and kwallace a while back before i was banned and lemme tell you i was banned over foolishness cuz i said something that A) was a joke and B) wasnt even directed to anyone, and i got banned. no shade intended!!!!!!

  • Charles

    All the homies are back, except for that one chick what was her name and she had the alien from american dad i liked her, speakinmymind or some shit

  • iscream

    Off topic.

    I just came across my first divorce btw

    A Woman

    And

    A Woman.

    Guess those marriages were legal.

  • Divinebrown

    Charles...The homies aren't back yet! There's 4 missing. We gotta get it back poppin!! These posts have died down so bad!!

    I was sitting here thinking about:

    *Who wants to get snatched by the lacefront* That makes me holler every damn time!

  • Charles

    But divine people will e-mail sandra and put us on blast if we happen to have to read a *** like dr suess...... some people simply cant take.

    but its ok ill keep it all the way cute =D

  • daninicole

    Kym, I feel you. That is just the pot calling the kettle black. How is Auntie gonna be telling somebody how to act and what role they should play? Auntie in your relationships what role do you play? Who's the man? Who does the man's job? Who is taking out the trash? Who is cutting the grass? Who is gonna defend who if it comes to that point? Who is gonna get and give the last name if there is ever a marriage between you and your partner?Whoever does it is no longer playing her role. Folk kill me with passing judgement on people. I personally would not propose to my boyfriend, but that is me. Shyt, more than half of marriages end in divorce anyways so what the hell is big deal for a woman to propose to a man. Hell their marriage will probably last forever!!

  • ReadTheBlog

    It's really annoying when the posts get off topic because the homies want to hold court about personal stuff. Some of y'all are straight annoying...

    I am glad to see Charles back, though. Wouldn't mind seeing Hermosa, but she left voluntarily, right?

  • Anna

    iscream Says:

    Off topic.

    I just came across my first divorce btw

    A Woman

    And

    A Woman.

    Guess those marriages were legal.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    I don't care if same sex couples want to get married. I can't wait to see the stats in 10 years to see the divorce rate. Hetrosexuals divorce rate is 50 % for fisrt time marriages. Iscream it's funny how they were so happy that they were able to get married and many were filing for divorce within the first year.

    Charles nice to see you back. I guess I expected a speech something like :Thanks to the sandrarose folks posting over 100 comments to get me reinstated. LOL.

  • Charles

    HErmosa doesnt left she has a job and cant post as much

  • Charles

    hasnt*

  • Charles

    Hey read the blog and hey anna =D

    ANd yes remeber the "CLIQUES" it used to be poppin, but sandra didnt like us attacking the other memebers which is right we shouldnt becaus eyou alienate people and they cant enjoy the blog as much. so i wont be attacking anyone, especially since they cry and e-mail sandra and get me banned =[

  • DivaMama

    Honestly even if she did propose, I don't see what the big deal is. A couple generally knows what the plan is at some point in the relationship, so if they are going to get married, then does it really matter? Roles are reversed all the time nowadays.. can anything be considered the norm anymore?

    Hey Charles!

  • Divinebrown

    Those were the days back then Charles...lmao!!!

  • Anna

    71DivaMama Says:

    Honestly even if she did propose, I don’t see what the big deal is. A couple generally knows what the plan is at some point in the relationship, so if they are going to get married, then does it really matter? Roles are reversed all the time nowadays.. can anything be considered the norm anymore?
    ~~~~~~~~~
    I don't get what the big fuss is. Men may be use to rejection but they don't want to hear no after a marriage proposal. So being I said lets get married and hubby said yes, techniquely(sp) I am still letting a "man be a man" because I did not propose. LOL. I don't get why it matters if you end up with the same result. I's married.

  • DivaMama

    I's married, too, and I agree with the rejection aspect. I remember when hubby proposed to me, but I said it so low that he didn't hear me and had the look of death on his face because he thought that I rejected him. It took him all of 5 minutes for him to request an answer again because he thought I was going to say no and didn't want to hear that. He later told a friend that if I did in fact say no, he would never propose to another woman again for fear of rejection, lol!

  • DivaMama

    ***scrolling up and seeing the petition****

    Auntie!!

    bloggergirlz
    ielon
    prynsexx
    carameldrop

    PLEASE LET THEM COME HOME!!!

  • Anna

    DivaMama Says:

    I’s married, too, and I agree with the rejection aspect. I remember when hubby proposed to me, but I said it so low that he didn’t hear me and had the look of death on his face because he thought that I rejected him. It took him all of 5 minutes for him to request an answer again because he thought I was going to say no and didn’t want to hear that. He later told a friend that if I did in fact say no, he would never propose to another woman again for fear of rejection, lol!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    That was funny. It has to be tuff being a male. My daughter and I always talk about how men have to man up or if they are dared by another male to do something they have to do it instead of punking out. When females are together there really is no peer pressure because we will cuss you out and "just say no".

  • Charles

    @divine yesss this place was so fun I got no work done lol :)

    Hey divamama

    Why did all those people get banned? Are u sure they just don't post anymore??

  • Shauny

    Hey SR fam, I see I left earlier and came back to the same ole same ole.

    Brenden - you never disappoint

    On topic - if she brought the ring for his birthday why is the even still and issue? If she proposed to him and they're already engaged, I would take that to mean she wanted to show him that she appreciated him being with her through the worst period in her life and assured him that they are in it together, again what the hell is the big deal. This whole stay in your lane chit is retarded.

    Off topic - Folks give themselves way too much credit for chit..ya know.

  • DivaMama

    No...I'm sure...they got banned on a wave. All on the same day just about, too.

  • Charles

    @79

    I wonder what the t was? or what they did?? I remember before I ever came to the site sandra wrote a article about banning a ton of people and opening registration, this was a long ass time ago

  • Kymystry

    Hey Shauny ... nodding head up and down .. YUP .. shole do

  • iyonah

    I don't see what the big deal is, if she did ask him back, especially since he has already asked her. As someone else mentioned, maybethis was just a kind gesture of her heart.

    Happy Mothers Day to you all!

  • Divinebrown

    We all got banned together. How could you forget? lol

    That was right before the *crickets* took over this joint!

    SORRY READ THE BLOG IF OUR OFF TOPIC POSTS ANNOY YOU...You just gon have to eat this one. Folks are getting re-aquainted. Matter of fact, you gon be eatin a lot of my posts, I talk about whatever...whenever!! Chomp, chomp sucka! lmao....

    Did ya'll Watch The Fashion Show, the Project Runway Knock off?

  • iscream

    @ Daisy I'm glad you ended that the way you did. & good luck with that. (Love, marriage and baby carriage)

    I know not all women "trap" men to marry them. I don't even believe in the trap part. It takes two to make a baby.

    Hey Shuny!!!!

    I got to read that rick ross mess when I got home... girl I was feeling what you were saying there & I'm feeling what you are saying here...

  • Charles

    Uh oh divine! Yesss I remember now when yall dragged amulet by her quickweave yes I do remember we had like 500 posts in one day! On one topic.... that was hilarious though! I was sad to see everyone banned thoough it got real boring. Remember when hune got banned anyoone remember her?

  • goat76

    @Chuck.....didn't know she was banned.....but she was funny wit her post......

  • Charles

    @readtheblog

    Sis you sound mad? We both commented on the topic and have moved on.......

  • DivaMama

    I don't think that HunE got banned.. didn't she just stop posting?

  • Charles

    No she got banned I remember it well she said something about f**k this blog and she would go somewhere and then sandra said something witty(can't recall) something along the lines of if u wanna leave leave don't be so dramatic and banned her.......

    Goat u been quiet!

  • http://myspace.com/tamarlese Peachizz

    "The only way I can co-sign J-Hud’s behavior is if she knows her fiance is on the down low, and she wants to treat him like the queen that he is — then this would all make sense." LOL...... Sandra maybe she just loves him that much!

    Yes Charles Hune was super funny, I think it ws goat or Elove who said she just left because of the hate or something and was suppose to come back after the elections, not sure...

  • Divinebrown

    Charles Says:

    Uh oh divine! Yesss I remember now when yall dragged amulet by her quickweave

    ___________________________________________________________

    HOLLERIN!!! Damn you Charles, Damn you!! *on the gat dang flo'* GOOD OLE AMI!!!!!

  • Shauny

    Isc - girl that was a mess yesterday. I don't know what was up with that person. There are some absolute character on here. As long as they leave me be, I could care less what they say, do, or care how much relevance they have on here.

  • http://myspace.com/tamarlese Peachizz

    what happen to amulet?

  • Charles

    Yesss divine and she good talk sideways but then when people came back she couldn't take....... that day was out of control though I remember loging in and seeing 200+ comments I was like @.@ ...... where is amulet did the banned train take her too?

  • Naima

    Does anyone have proof of Punk being on the DL other than him and Terry McMillans ex using the same brand of hair products?

    Sandra has been quiet about Ciaras flop and Cassie's photo "leak"

  • DivaMama

    She just stopped commenting one day... I'm not sure, but she could just be lurking.

  • Kymystry

    ON DA DAYUM FLOOOOOO DVB .

  • Kymystry

    Mullett was the one hollering "cliques" ... it was priceless ... absolutely priceless .. lol

  • Divinebrown

    Cliques.....aint no cliques!!!

    I think Ami just fell off. I dont know...I"m lost just like you.

  • goat76

    100

  • DivaMama

    Daag, goat, I wanted to break that! LOL!

  • Charles

    Yess cliuques what he hailll

    And hey kym I love how u was acting brand new the past few days I thought we got along...

  • Kymystry

    Charles ... I don't ACT anything ... you called me a Ho .. I spoke to u since then and don't have a problem speaking to know now .. one way or the other ... m'Kay

  • iscream

    @ Divine

    Did you have to bring out the *crickets* on us. Sorry we bored you.
    ****************
    HunE (miss 100 post party) did not get banned. She left bc of the Obama hate.

    The person who said something about the site was I wanna say speakinmymind. She said another spot was better and Sandra said why don't you stay there BANNED!

    Amulet left once she got on everyones nerve & got people banned.

    @ shuny I feel you. Wasted energy.

  • ELove

    I MISS My E-Wife (HunE) !!!

  • Divinebrown

    Charles, charles, Charles...you's a damn fool!!! Are you on Facebook?

    Damn....iscream, you be on it!!! Ami got banned? Dayum...SR was clipping mugs lef and right. (lol)

  • Charles

    Yesss cbann88 at gmail.com and you should find my facebook

    Usmc network
    And atl georgia

  • Daisy

    I did not miss that either DB I just did not comment on you callin us boring matter of opinion I guess like with everything else lol

  • Shauny

    Daisy - I caught it too and just let it go. I don't need another yesterday. To each it's own.

  • Divinebrown

    Daisy...I didnt call ya'll boring. I didnt even read that much when I was banned.

    I'm talking about the posts...when is the last time a post hit 300. Ya'll were quiet! Posts used to hit 100 like 2-3 times during the day. Ummmm...git it right!!

    Comment all you want to....I'm sturdy, I can handle it.

  • http://sandrarose.com Sandra Rose

    To Divinebrown and others:
    I just want to make it CLEAR that I didn't reinstate you guys to raise my comment count. So PLEASE don't get it twisted!!! I keep telling you that comments does not affect blog ranking. I thought you wanted to come back to contribute positively to the community? But if you're just coming back to start up cliques and drama, then you will find yourself back on the other side looking in!