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First, the email from loyal reader Shalonda:
Hey Sandra,
I had to get out of my bed and log on for this…I am watching Gotti’s Way and his wife is on Gayle King’s show. Irv and some of his staff are listening at Murder Inc and the female has the nerve to say “If I was getting what she’s getting, I’d be good”.. IS SHE SERIOUS..? Is this what we do.? I am not going to believe that we as married women (which I am not) will just sit back and allow our husbands to cheat, pay the bills and you would be OK with this… I know you have an opinion on this.. I would love to see what everyone will say on this topic..
Shalonda
Now, here is my response to Shalonda’s question… “is this what we do?”
I have no personal experience with being married, but it would seem to me that black women in the distant past had no problem ‘settling’ for their men because their roles were clearly defined — back then.
Decades ago — before the women’s lib movement (which was organized by lesbians, by the way) — the black woman knew her place was to be homemaker, nurturer and caregiver to their children.
The husband’s role was to bring home the bread, so to speak.
Most black men today would rather spend their bread on gear, rims and other shiny things to attract other women (or other men as the case may be in Atlanta).
Therefore, if a man shows you by his words and actions that he LOVES you enough to provide for you and pay your bills, that says a lot about him as a man.
MORE scenes from the new season after the break!
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She definitely has an attitude problem based on this video. I don’t see why he keeps going back to her. She doesn’t deserve a real man in her life because she’s not a real woman. If she respected herself she wouldn’t disrespect herself or her man.
Ummmm.. men should be doing that ANYWAY… not to justify their cheating or excessive spending. But that’s what’s wrong with the women who raised my generation anyway.. some didn’t even need to have a provider.. just a MALE.
My grandfather (RIP) once said “there are no more men and women, only males and females” and I see alot of truth in that statement. NO ONE knows their roles anymore…
2bcontinued….
Please take the word “Black” out of the above…because this situation is not geared towards “Blacks”…
In fact…this is NOTRIOUSLY a “White” woman situation…because, I’m sorry…because of the messed up history and racism in this country…when have Black couples EVER BEEN ABLE TO LIVE LIKE OZZIE AND HARRIET on the whole? Where Daddy bought home the bacon and Mama stayed home?!?! Back in the Jim Crow days…it was easier for Black WOMEN to get work than BLACK MEN…it was all part of the plan…
I mean…SERIOUSLY…I’m currently reading a biography about Coco Channel…and among the HUNDREDS of names I have read about…there is NOT ONE MAN IN THAT BOOK WHO DID NOT CHEAT ON HIS WIFE!!! As long as they took care of home in the manner in which the wife was accustom to…she was down with that…
So…NO…this AIN’T a Black woman issue…this is HISTORICALLY A WHITE WOMAN’S ISSUE!!!
I agree Lala.. and my grandfather was white btw.. and HE knew it too.
I dont know why she had to get out of her bed to send that email like that was breaking news. Women(some) have BEEN looking the other way as long as the house was taking care of. How do you think our grandparents (some of them) remained together for all those years. Plenty of new age women do the same thing as well. If that is what a married woman chooses to do in order to keep her family together I say more power to them but its NOT for me! I do NOT want that kind of marriage. I watch this show and I pray Deb gets a backbone sooner than later. If she is going to stay stay if she is going to leave leave. Irv is NOT going to change and she has had EIGHT years to see such. Bless her heart! I am not judging or knocking her its her life her decision. I hope she figures out what is going to make her happy and GOES FOR IT!!
Morning Fam!
Lala I disagree, first of all you are basing your assumption on black AMERICAN women when that is a very small percentage of black women worldwide. Secondly I have African not AA from Africa and this goes on in their communitys as well. I am know it goes on in the latin community I grew up in that. This is a womens issue period.
Sandra please, black women came to America working, slavery remember that anybody?
Everyone knows Irv was cheating with at Superhead and Ashanti, she has a young daughter at home. Whatever arrangement people want to make with their lives is their business. If anything Deb was probably tired of the blatant disrespect. Irv acts like a teenage boy
I think everyone already knows how I feel about this….so my comment isn’t needed on this subject.
oh and I believe it goes on in the white womans world they are just more hush hush about it. You know them bishes all know all their men are doin the do and they just don’t talk about it.
Sandra the lib movement had STRAIGHT women as well STOP PLAYING..lol
I felt the same way when I watched it last night. Irv has a lotta damn nerve and his employee has even more. That pissed me off more than anything because she was basically saying money trumps repect.Fuxx that! It is a man’s job to provide but if disrespect, cheating, and a total disregard for my feelings comes along with providing, I will do bad by myself and provide for myself!!!
so what you’re saying is as long as my husband is paying the bills and all that crap i’m supposed to sit back accept that and allow him to cheat ? oh that’s bull crap . nope that’s some bullsh*t.
Money is nothing to a rich man, they give their mistresses money. Doesn’t mean they will respect them. Its broke men who are obssessed with holding on to the little they have
ill say this white men cheat but they take care of home better, they don’t bring here mistress around there kids or have them laid up in there home they share. all men cheat unless there trying to get into heaven. black men just be all disrespectful with it, the ninja got the nerve not to be working or paying a bill and want to have bishes over while ur out busting your back. at the end of the day men cheat soley because they can and if there getting away with it who’s at fault? men don’t have to be faithful and they know it, if u knew u could steal from the bank every other friday without getting caught or jail time unless u had morals u will do it. so men know there will always be a woman willing to lay down with him married or not so they will always rob the bank until they start living for the lord..and some of them men get the side eye still
@ Daisy
I saw Idris on Carson Daly’s show last night. He is so sexy and that accent just puts the finishing touches on him! He was dj-ing and partying! I gotta get to London to the club one of the nights he on the 1s and 2s!
Good morning everyone.
Darn it!!!!! I fell asleep and missed it.
Didn’t read comments yet but I do watch this show.
Gotti’s money has nothing to do with Deb “putting up with his mess” she puts up with it in hopes that he will one day come back home. Also he isn’t cheating on her. They are seperated and she allows him to have his cake and eat it to. She can easily file for divorce, get alimony, child support and all the other things that come along when a marriage is over.
She is always blaming herself for wanting better. And is always using the kids as an excuse to not move on. What people fail to see is you do more damage to your kids by staying in an unhealthy relationship. They can eaisly grow up thinking its okay to settle for less. The same way her mother put the thought in her head.
Okay scrolling back up to read comments.
Actually-Gotti and his wife are not black if you ask me his wife is hispanic/puerto-rican and it’s very common for puerto rican chics to be the ride or die chic who tolerate cheating from their spouse because they’ve been together umpteenth years. Actually Gotti’s parents, especially his father actually encourage this type of behavior. His father encouraged to hang in there or to work out an arrangement in regards to gotti’s cheating ways.
A woman doesn’t have to tolerate cheating to provide for herself or her children a court order will take care of all of that-and it’s sad that we as women and society as a whole continue to encourage & allow “men” to get aways with cheating etc. as long as he brings home the bacon.
Money is not equated with love and neither is respect-if you ask me she should have walked a long time ago-my two cents because this man has gone on tv and said that he will never be faithful and that is the reason he is not at home-he can’t even honor his vows as a husband
and last but not least, again I’ll probably recieve backlash for this, it is never a wise choice to place all of your trust in a man-except God. So many woman believe their greatest accomplishment in life is to find a man to marry. Marriage is great-but your best investment is “self”-therefore when and if that marriage ends you have the ability to support yourself and children and you won’t have to stay and tolerate a cheating husband just to have a place to live.
I bet his wife doesn’t have an education-just a guess, she had a child when her and gotti met (watch the show when he talked to his boys about hoes and what not) and she had his two boys. It’s okay to be a good wife and mother-but you should also have a life of your own and I’m glad that she is finally standing up for herself and breaking the cycle of tolerating a cheating man-which she also stated was the same thing her mother did.
Oh yeah and he did put her on blast and said she doesn’t cook or clean-basically making her look very slack and lazy. Even if it’s not true it looks that way, just sayin….
Damn Sandra is that you that other website is putting on blast for going hard at Tameaka about Usher’s product manager/possible side piece???…….Sandra you really went in on that gurl….LMAO….dang “Whats Beef”
well anyway, the site rhymes with the word Gossip….you might want to check and see if those quotes are yours they posted up….they only list you as a BLOGGER..
Deb is Jamaican, Irv is biracial his mother is black and his father looks Hispanic. They are basically carribean folks but American raised.
Deb liked the money, she was this young girl already with a baby and here comes this music industry guy (remember Irv was the man a few years ago) buying her LV bags, designer clothes etc. She wasn’t gonna leave that behind. She probably ain’t never worked a day in her life, b/c I never hear any career plans from her. She probably went from her moms house to Irvs house
iscream Says:
She is always blaming herself for wanting better. And is always using the kids as an excuse to not move on. What people fail to see is you do more damage to your kids by staying in an unhealthy relationship. They can eaisly grow up thinking its okay to settle for less. The same way her mother put the thought in her head.
***************************************************************
It seems to me that she has forsaken her vows to be a wife to her husband if she won’t cook and clean the house. A man is right to leave the house if a woman doesn’t pull her weight and do what she’s supposed to do at home.
and also what can we do about this but be alone, most men cheat I leave a 5% chance theres some that don’t but lets live in the real world for a second. what are we going to do about it? even if u break up and get a new man he’ll cheat to, and im saying this because I have not seen one woman in my life say there man has never cheated. so I don’t see what we as woman can do about this? I seen men that I swear would never go cheat. idk I think it is what it is the only way I feel lik this will stop if we didn’t lay down with them when they came sniffing but we know that’s not going to happen so theres nothing we can do but stay alone or keep us a piece of peen on the low and say f it
No need to comment. She is doing exactly what she wants to do. Sit around with no job waiting for Irv to pay her bills and keep her ansking him for money. If she was smart she would have been using her time to learn something in the entertainment industry also. Then would have the life skills to survive rather than depend on him.
He know from jump she didn’t cook or clean-he also stated that last night and married her anyway. So what was his motivated-they both played the game aint no victims here
Sandra please, Irv didn’t leave she left him. And did Superhead and Ashanti clean for Irv I doubt it. He is just a ho
@21.just cause a man cheats once does not mean they will cheat forever.. some DO learn.. after they get that foot out they azz, hot grits off their face whatever the case maybe.
@iscream.. as usual we are >>><<<. I don’t understand why she hasn’t filed for divorce either… especially since he BLATANTLY said HAIL no.. AND he’s not putting the wang down for her… time to move on honey…
But I cannot judge… I’ve been in that situation before… well.. he didn’t flat out say “I will NEVER stop cheating”.. that woulda been the bottom line.. I mean dang nicca.. LIE or something.
( that last line was sarcasm)
I agree with Thundercat….yea she could learn a thing or 2 from Shaq’s wife or Kimora…somebody.
Sandra that doesn’t even make an ounce of sense. I’m sure he knew before he married her she wasn’t a great cook and or kept a clean house. Yet he married her anyway.
So in your world a man can leave if a woman doesn’t cook or clean. But a woman should stay if he is constantly cheating on her. If this is true I’m a little disappointed because even though some of your comments are radical I respect them. This I can not respect.
& I just want to go on record saying that cheating is not the be all/end all to all relationships. People have different tolerant levels and you honestly don’t know what you will do until you are in those shoes.
I don’t respect Deb because Irv moved out, told her he isn’t coming back, openly admits to sleeping with whomever, whenever and she still, after all these years thinks they have a chance. Doesn’t either of them think their children will see this show one day. Their school mates are probably laughing at them. Shame.
Irv was NOT Irv when he met Deb they were young. I think she had Angie in high school or shortly thereafter.
So if we saying Irv is separated and NOT cheating then that applies to AKeys as well cause Swizz says he was separated for SEVEN months before they hooked up. Just asking cause legally they are BOTH still married!
I know men who do not cheat. I never bought into the ALL men cheat motto. A man will only do what a woman allows them to do. The men who do cheat do so for many different reasons. Some women these days cheat just as much as men.
Both Deb and Irv are to blame for their marital issues and I believe they consider themselves BLACK..lol
she needs to just gwon and write a book like the rest of em… I’ll support her.
*side eye*
@ Everyone, scroll up and watch the 2nd video. Some women can drive a man to cheat!
The REAL reason why Deb has gotten a divorce is she is used to that lifestyle, she said so herself. They have been separated seven years and she still hasn’t gotten it through her thick skull that he is not coming back home. She said she wants a guy who is balling like Irv, not gonna happen as long as Irv is the picture, not gonna happen when the man finds out dude is Irv Gotti, a psuedothug. She is ghetto, hangs around the likes of Tasheera Simmons. She is a golddigger, plain and simple. She won’t divorce him because her nice gravy train will ship out of town.
Sandra hates women, you are really straight aren’t you
iscream Says:
Sandra that doesn’t even make an ounce of sense. I’m sure he knew before he married her she wasn’t a great cook and or kept a clean house. Yet he married her anyway.
So in your world a man can leave if a woman doesn’t cook or clean. But a woman should stay if he is constantly cheating on her. If this is true I’m a little disappointed because even though some of your comments are radical I respect them. This I can not respect.
^^^ thanks for saying this isc
She musta signed a prenup…*tsk tsk*… but hey.. he’s been cheating.. she’ll get something out of it.He’s gonna take care of her regardless.
But…*snaps out of it* what does that have to do with self respect? IMO, even her DAUGHTER looks at her with a side eye… like mom.. you’re dumb as hail.. but whateva. I know that’s how I viewed my mom for a long time and to some extent do hold her accountable for me and my sisters view on men. That’s where you learn about relationships and a womans role primarily: your mother and any other female figures in your life.
Anywho…He (Irv)is just as responsible of how his kids will view their mother AND him for allowing this to continue. Just divorce her if she won’t divorce you.The lifestyle can’t be that great.. Murder Inc kinda fell off… unless she didn’t come from much anyway.
I didn’t see the episode and can’t see the videos, but I will hit up my DVR when I get home tonight. SMh @ her saying she wants another industry dude…
There is an equal partnership in MY house, we both cook, clean, etc. Irv left because he wanted to leave, no other reason. When you truly love your wife, you do whatever you can to make it work. Hire a chef (instead of banging Ashanti’s back out), pay for cooking classes. No, Irv takes some blame in this matter as well.
This is ridiculous
heck yeah he can cheat when he is doing everything i ask of him. As long as he use a condom. go right a head cause best believe I’m do me when the time is right. all parties are satisfied right.go into the world be free if you bring me a disease i will chop your dick off or burn u with an iron with my name on it and pour alcohol over the burn. any who back in time the men had 20 wives 20 kids let him do him its a shortage folks. peace
i think deb did have dreams of them getting back together but after all these years she finally getting tired of it. now her putting IRV out was the funniest shit i seen in a min. whos house is this gotti? whos house is this gotti? lol he like what bill u paid. she said i paid when i had your kids that negro was quiet as a mouse.
@ Krysi I just went and saw the tweets.
*tapping foot with arms folded*
Uhm Ms. Rose why do your loyal readers have to search outside of your blog for the goods. Why are you keeping us out of the loop. Unacceptable, lol. Seriously, why?
Can’t see 2nd video somebody please tell what its about.
@37
To each their own… some folks are ok with that…but what about vows? What’s the purpose of marriage then? Might as well cohabitate if that’s the case…
Just wondering…
@ Sandra, let me get this one scripture off my chest.
Proverbs 14:1: The wise woman builds her house, [b]ut the foolish tears it down with her own hands [and mouth]. Selah.
Okay. Okay. I added the mouth part. LOL.
@ Sandra, are you the masculine partner in your lesbian relationship?
I agree with your comments about the Women’s lib movement. Black women should cease to white lesbians and frustrated black women when it comes to your relationship with men. Or else, you are going to find yourself alone and by yourself.
I coulda swore Auntie said she didn’t have a twitter acct… whomever is “posing” as her.. I am following…lol
@ Coa comment 34 I2I.
Even if she signed a prenup she can still get child support. If need be I would sell that house, get me a condo and live a happy, healty life. Remember the movie with Julia Roberts when she gave up her rich husband for a less lavish life, but she had a peace of mind. & I know Irv isn’t beating Deb near death but he is killing her nonetheless.
@ Lovezoi comment 31 I agree with you. Esp the part about DMX wife. Smh & rolling my eyes. ump
The “men” these women are dealing with are not real men…point blank peroid…a real man not gonna put his wife through those kinds of changes…point blank peroid…and that’s all I gotta say on this subject…money or no money a REAL MAN knows how to treat his wife..love..honor..respect…if he is doing thinks outside of that he anit no real man..he a boy pretending (irv) a big old a@@ boy at that
Deb is SET for LIFE she doesnt have to stay for the lifestyle. Irv said himself she will be straight and regardless a JUDGE will see to that. Deb loves Irv thats what it boils down to. She doesnt have to work a day in her life married to Irv or not. Its called child support and alimony! Her sons dont need to see their mom being disrespected and thinking it ok and Angie doesnt need to see her mother disrespected either. Deb is finally seeing the light slowly but surely. I def. agree she hung around thinking he would change and come back but he aint and has made that very clear. She will figure it out in time. I wish her the best.
You won’t die from being alone….
every woman doesn’t necessarily want to get married
some of you will put with anything just say you have a man
@ Attorneymom, I’ve never had a problem with your scriptures, lol. Preach on sister!
Oh, and to answer your question: I don’t discuss my private life on the Internet.
Sidebar: Some things should be non-negotiable like you should never sell your self worth and dignity for rent and food. When all know what happened to Esau when he sold his birthright (inheritance) for some food.
This is what is wrong with celebs wives. They are too busy shopping and sitting on their ass to realize when they being played for the fool. I would have went to school, bettered myself, so when time came I would have been prepared. It wouldn’t hurt to hide a few bucks in the process either. You see what Kimora did, got herself a business out the deal, got a baby by another man, AND still collecting alimony. Play on player.
“Black women should cease to white lesbians and frustrated black women when it comes to your relationship with men.”
huh?
@ Sandra, I was being smart about your personal relationship. : – ) We all know bloggers don’t put their business on blast. LOL
Sidebar: Some things should be non-negotiable like you should never sell your self worth and dignity for rent and food. When all know what happened to Esau when he sold his birthright (inheritance) for some food.
Can you delete my comment? I posted it twice by accident. I only meant to paste the about sidebar.
sigh, women of color feminism is different than WW feminism. Black women always put family first, and black women have always worked. They have different priorities. And what does Deb have to do with feminism, if she was at least half way feminist in the first place she would have he own money and not be in the position she is today.
I meant to write “above” not “about”.
@Wiggy see thats why I choose to IGNORE that comment..lol I did not have time to go there with Perfect Patty this am
Daisy, I got out of bed as it was 12:35 am and I could not believe she actually said this ON AIR..I was shocked and could not believe she really believed what she was saying herself, as she started to say different things later on in the show..now if she believes this is the case since she is a single mom doing it by herself, then keep that in the privacy of your own home…but to be crazy enough to say this in front of people that will see this then talk about it..crazy….you don’t see the other jump off (mentioned above) letting in on all the dirt they did to keep them in the house..@ #21, if you have NO friends in a serious committed relationships without the cheating, you need to add to your circle of friends….I also have never believed in the theory of All Men Cheat..that’s a COP OUT to me….
@48
Ooooo attorney mom why can’t you respond to my post that I wrote, and here you go quoting scriptures again girl blewp
@intensemocha
GIRL FINALLY SOMETHING WE AGREE ON! only thing I would disagree with is anticipation that a marriage would END..I never think about it..if your going around planning for divorce you will be…
@fly Jada said in last mths Ebony that she told Will they would be married forever she said we may be sleeping in separate bedrooms but we will still be married or something like that and I felt/got what she was saying.
i have no problem with accepting my role as a wife, but i will not be a fool and let a NUCCA treat me any kind of way just because he’s paying the bills or contributing to the bills . i guess i’ll be alone .
@Daisy
yeah I subscribe to ebony she was looking cute in her pics..did you see her hair all real….I’m like damn what she using…but yeah I saw that and thought wow we have something in common..i say it all the time & so does my baby.
@ sandra I believe attorneymom said get this one off because and I quote yesterday she said
@ Sandra, I think this will be my last scripture post (unless compelled otherwise, LOL). I will take my scripture posting activities back to Character Corner (The Blog Where Hip Hop Meets Scripture) where they belong.
right before she advised all of us to
On a serious note, I would advise the Sandra Rose family to review their company’s employee handbook for its internet usage policy. I am sure corporate policy does not recommend that you surf the internet during work hours (absent lunch breaks, of course). Also check your productivity at work: Can it use an upgrade?
Then ask yourself: Have I prioritized my life such that my internet usage is not causing me to neglect my health, spirit, spouse or family? If the answer is no, then you need some help. LOL.
I’ve NEVER watched this show. Based on the comments above, I don’t believe I’m missing out on much.
*shrugging my shoulders*
Can we get at least ONE show that displays people of color maintaining a healthy relationship? Is that too much to ask?
@62
runs house is pretty good.
@55 I think that any one who took vows are in a committed relationship however it always seem to end with cheating, 90% of my friends are married but hey a ninja gone be a ninja aint nothing u can do about it. hell my cousin husband was the pefect men in my eyes and she just found out he was cheating. he took care of home the bills the kids a sweet person and very respectful. he has agreat job very close to his family a chruch going man but still a cheater. what could u do u think everything is perfect than the other woman calls and spills the beans. I give up myself cuz when u think u moved on to a better pick of a man who seems to be right he still a ninja at the end of the day. there just weak and if u think he’s a great man he next woman is plotting to take him. im staying single
sandra I thought u said ur not on twitter does ms bitchie need to police that account?
@ Yvonne79, Runs House is probably the closest we are going to get to a healthy relationship. I love the show. It does not send the Civil Rights Movement back a thousand years.
Deb is just an example of a bad situation.
As far as the top in general, LaLa comments and a few others. As usual some of you are just hot messes.
I guess I was raised to be independent because I’ve always made sure I had my own and didn’t have to depend on ANYONE. Even if I did I’m not the one to sit back and accept a cheating azz dude. I’m not going
@yvonne
thats runs house and snoops show
@64 damn someone burned you bad. I do not believe that ALL man cheat.
And lets be real, most black women don’t even have the option whether or not to be independent, we have to be in order to survive. A lot of brothas aren’t exactly ballin’, some cities have black male unemployment at 50%.
I think deep down all women want to be taken care of but we know in this day and age we must have our own thing going on.
snoop was a cheater too.. they were gonna get divorced and all that… I applaud them for getting it together though… if they did.
@Naima/Shauny: I agree with your comments. I’ve always had my own and never looked for a man to take care of me. At the end of the day, it would be REAL nice to turn over the reins to someone who is well qualified to handle everything.
Being independant is EXHAUSTING at times. Rest assured if my man/husband was taking care of me financially, I will have something on the side in the event a rainy day comes. You just never know…
@coaretained: I love Snopp and Shaunte in Charlie Wilson’s video. Contrary to belief, every relationship is not perfect. It’s good to see the two of them are working thru it all.
@Yvonne I prefer to call it being SINGLE..lol When you are single I feel one is supposed to take care of themselves and any kids they may have simple as that. I agree I am ready to turn over the reins to my husband when that day happens.
@Perfect Patty I mean AttyMom its called MULTI TASKING
You have Lincoln Heights as well that comes on ABC family. The show is about a black working family.
@ Shauny I agree All men do not cheat and secondly
Absolute statements are always unfair and judgemental.
What would be more truthful perhaps is all the men you know or know of cheat
@Daisy: I agree. When I woman is single, she HAS to provide for herself. If that’s the case, why label a woman as being “high maintenance”? I’ve always thought this statement was interesting…
Wiggy2272003 writes, ““Black women should cease to white lesbians and frustrated black women when it comes to your relationship with men.”
huh?”
_____
Black women should cease listening to white lesbians’ and frustrated black women’s advice when it comes to their relationship with men.
I feel sorry for the women that think all men cheat. I know for a fact that my husband doesn’t, he worships the ground that I walk on and that’s how it should be. In our religion he could have another wife but he always says he’s never because he’s to afraid the woman would be just like me and I’m tooo much for him to handle, lol.
I think women just need to choose better. The signs are always there on whether a man will be a good man, if your willing to look for them.
yvonne said
I’ve always had my own and never looked for a man to take care of me. At the end of the day, it would be REAL nice to turn over the reins to someone who is well qualified to handle everything.
Being independant is EXHAUSTING at times. Rest assured if my man/husband was taking care of me financially, I will have something on the side in the event a rainy day comes. You just never know…
^5s on this. We are I2I on this one.
Lmao @ Shauny comment 68.
She always/only pops her head in when these types of issues are brought up to drill that all men cheat into our pretty little heads.
I usually skip the books. *shrugs*
Lmao @ attrnymom do you quote the bible to your children when they come to you with a problem? Or do you only save your blessings for your Sandra Rose Fam?
& I’m not coming @ you I’m asking.
@kcicero:
Hey lady!(waving madly)…how are you feeling?
@KC there are not always signs per say. I feel there are some “good men and women” who have fallen short as far as cheating. I do believe that sometimes there are signs and women choose to ignore them and look the other way. While I dont think all men cheat I wouldnt put it past any man or woman.
@Yvonne I did not read the book but I do listen to Steve Harveys show and he said men created the term golddigger so I am guessing they may have created the term high maintenance for the same reason..lol I think you have some men and women who are high maintanance but I do not fit into that category. I dont think there is anything wrong with it some ppl require more attn per say than others.
Hey yvonne!!! Waving madly right back, lol. I feel better today, but the weekend was a little crazy. Went to the hospital for stomach cramps and got admitted for extreme dehydration and kidney disfunction, lol. The doctor was looking at me with a side-eye like did you know your blood was congealing…I’m like no…I just know I can’t keep anything down. Thank goodness for reglan and vitamin B, they’re finally doing something!
Anyways we’ll be going house hunting soon so that always makes me happy! i can’t wait to get out of this apartment, lol. Keep those prayers coming though!
@KC I love watching house hunters on HGTV! Make sure you take care of yourself and the baby on the way! That is an order NOT a request..lol
@Daisy:
Here’s what I think…
If I can pay my own mortgage, utilities, car note and take myself and/or my children on a nice vacation, etc-any man desiring to be with me should be able to do this while we are together. My life should not change for the worst because I’m in a relationship. Believe me, I’ve seen girlfriends enter “coupledom” on a good note and during the relationship everything goes downhill. That doesn’t make sense to me. If that’s the case, I will take the “high maintenance” title and stay by myself.
Although I’ve been dogged out, lied to, cheated on; I still believe there is a man out there somewhere who is worthy of all my love and affection and will treat me the way a woman should be treated.
Some (Actually ALOT of) women are incapable of being happy and more importantly they are unwilling to put forth the effort to MAKE SURE that their man is in fact HAPPY…
And I do believe that women, ALONG with some B-I-T-C-H Made men, can drive their mate to cheat OR RATHER seek the attention-n-affection of another individual who is More-Than-Willing to give them what they are So Dearly Lacking in their relationship/marriage!!!
BTW there are some very interesting comments …
LOL
@kcicero:
Good luck on the house hunting. The process is exciting but can also be mentally exhausting. It’ll be well worth it once it’s all said and done. I wish you, the hubby and the babies nothing but the best!
Sandra is there something your gurl Tiny is doing that her man will not marry her. She had his kids and support,helped him start his career, doing his bid with him. She is being a “good woman” right?
I love gotti’s wife/ex, etc. She seems so sweet, but yes, yall women do settle for stuff. WOMEN determine how a man will treat them, not the man. if you come across an asshole and shut him down, he now knows you aint tolerating that bs. he must now come at u the right way.
she allowed gotti to get away with the cheatin and living the life of a single man. what gotti should be paying attn to his how this is affecting the boys back home who may grow up and do the exact same thing. they’re watching him treat mom like a well kept piece. but again, as sweet as she is, she allowed it to happen. the first time he did it and just came home and showered and ate dinner like shit aint never happened, she shoulda went anna mae bullock in the limo on his ass, screwed him, ran his bath water, fed him breakfast the next morning, then have that ass served with divorce papers at his office. nigga, a bytch aint playin with u. but she didn’t.
@ Daisy Yes, Maam, Yes! Lol I love HGTV that is my channel, I feel I’m an expert on house hunting after watching that so much, lol.
@ Yvonne thanks!!! I’m def looking forward to it!
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yvonne79 Says:
Although I’ve been dogged out, lied to, cheated on; I still believe there is a man out there somewhere who is worthy of all my love and affection and will treat me the way a woman should be treated.
Yes there is Yvonne, and he will come when God see’s fit! Hopefully, it’s sometime soon, lol.
Deb is Tiny in about 10 years, a least Deb is getting out while she is still young
I agree with Sandra that there are certain roles that need to be played in a marriage. A man should be a provider but I believe that a woman should know how to earn her own as well should something happen that leaves her as the sole caregiver. Life is not promised. White women love to rely on their husbands, but many of them are left in a bad situation when their husbands leave them or if they pass. They do not have the neccessary skills to survive when left alone. Women and men both need to be taight the skills to survive independently but also be taught that marriage is a partnership that comes with distinct responsibilities for each partner.
I love cleaning and cooking for my man and I am able to do it and still hold a job and side job to make my own money. I am like this with him and we aren’t even married yet. With that being said Irv Gotti knew what Deb was before he married her. He knew she couldn’t cook or clean yet he stayed with her for that long. He sayi he needs a woman who can cook, clean and be a whore in the bedroom for him so why didn’t he marry someone like that? Instead he saw a pretty fair skinned girl and he assumed he could change her into what he wanted. I believe that she also spent many years trying to change him into what she wanted as well.
The lesson here is that you can’t change anyone! The sooner people realize this, the happier they will be. Stop settling for a work in progress and wait for someone who embodies the qulaities that are most important to you.
Naima Says:
Sandra is there something your gurl Tiny is doing that her man will not marry her. She had his kids and support,helped him start his career, doing his bid with him. She is being a “good woman” right?
^^^ lmfao
I am not going to even read all the comments, but I feel sorry for this woman. And Irv Gotti is not even a CUTE catch – to hell w/ the money he has! Irv is a clown and is really embarrasing himself.
Knowing my role as a wife does NOT include taking my husband cheating on me and me turning a blind eye just because the bills are paid. I have a relative doing that now and I think she is certifiable, but that’s her life. I don’t have a secret account stashed or anything like that right now, but trust and believe if my hubby cheats, I’d be gone, money or not.
As far as the Women’s Lib movement, I studied it in college. Black women did not have time to really get involved in it like white women did. Africana Womanism by Dr. Clenora Hudson Weems – look it up. We didn’t have time to just make sure black women’s rights were taken care of – we had a whole RACE of people to uplift.
lol @ pointhimout. Exactly. Anna Mae. lol
Don’t tolerate the bs for years – all a man will do is know he can do that to you over and over again.
If you don’t value yourself, why would you think another person will value you? Me and my husband are blessed past the $$$$! I’m not taking NO bs from him and I don’t give him no bs. Just because a person has $$$$$ they can treat all willie nillie! Hell Nah but I’m speaking for me!
ELove- Some (Actually ALOT of) women are incapable of being happy and more importantly they are unwilling to put forth the effort to MAKE SURE that their man is in fact HAPPY
Really WOW! I know plenty of women who loose themselves(very sad) in order to make sure their man is satisfied and that still isnt good enough. Although you started with some you felt the need to add alot like that is what happens the majority of the time. I disagree with that being the case. I see where you are going and what have you though. People need to be HAPPY before entering into a relationship anyway. Relationships have their ups and downs and men(some) need to be able to handle and deal with the rough patches w/o looking for what they think is the next best thing. Yes the other woman/jumpoff can make you feel like a KING 24/7 thats because you dont have anything to worry about with her but doing the pants off dance off. The man doesnt have to worry about kids, bills, LIFE w/ the jumpoff/other woman.
@Daisy
I’m GLAD you saw where I was going and you’re right
THOSE women bend over backwards for the WRONG MAN because A REAL MAN values-n-respects a woman that puts forth the EFFORT and UNTIL an individual learns Self-Respect along with Love for Oneself… Then HOW can you possibly satisfy a FULL-BLOWN Relationship-Marriage to the degree it deserves for Longevity and Love Ever-Lasting !!!
Yall are a hot mess =)
@ Daisy, I am far from perfect. As long as there is breath in my body, there is room for growth and improvement. One thing I have not mastered is the turn the other cheek thing yet. I still believe in whipping azz when someone physically hit you. I teach my children if someone hits you, you better *&^% them up. So you see, I am not perfect.
@ iscream, my children are no joke. I train them to think according scripture and basic common sense. My husband and I live by example. My life is my message.
@ attorneymom, my mother and father was like that, I converted to Islam when I was 16…
@Attymom I figured you would say such and I get and respect all that but I wanted to let you know how you can come off at times. As a fellow christian I can see why others who may not be or who still may be young in Christ can be turned off from God/church(which I know is not your intent) when people can at times come off as so holy that they are no earthly good. I love your comments and even the scriptures (anybody can find one to back up their point as well which is why I never use them)..lol *cyber hug/air kiss*
@KC my mother was like that as well and I still have issues..lol It’s hard when you are young and so much pressure to be perfect and live holy and what have you is placed on you. I finally had to say we are ALL sinners saved by grace and God loves the SINNER yet hates the SIN!
Warren B. played a speech by Min. Farakhan(sp) today on his show. I love the great Min!
@ kcicero, As-Sal?mu `Alaykum
2 kcicero, As-Salamu `Alaykum!!
@ Daisy exactly…I haven’t really listened to anything from Farakhan but I do appreciate what he’s trying to do for the incarcerated brothers.
@ attorneymom Walaikum Salaam warahmatullah hir barakatuh.
I hear you attrnymom. I need to visit your site sometime to see if you can give me some advice on raising kids cause my son drives me freaking batty.
& lmao at you telling them to bust ass. That’s funny.
@ licia Jada says she used all Carol Daughters products but she has a financial interest in the company sooo
The products are really good and all natural, maybe you want to check it out.
On another note I found this site last week(I make as much as I can of my familys health and beauty products) will be happy to give recipes product advice to any who wants. Very interesting considering 60% of what we put on our body is absorbed in our body.
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/index.php
@ iscream, here is a video of my family. Enjoy!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBAeOmgQNrQ
I said if a man is not living for the lord he will more than likely cheat. so that does not include all men, and im just fine I just see the truth about the world if your not walking for god than how can you expect more than what u get.
and iscream i m not drilling nothing into anyone head life is only what u make it
So darling my dear try and make it I know that you will. Try and make it, gone try and make it, try and it, gone try and make it.
Ragga muffin love come, give me the ragga muffin love.
Wow – SMH I was empathizing with her on the first clip but the second – she was wrong on plenty of levels. She’s angry b/c he cheated and she needs to deal with that or else she wont be raising beautiful children for long.
Dont we have enough to tear apart our families – why r we helping with this dayum show? This just pissed me off.
FOR ALL THE DUMMIES, THIS SCENE WAS STAGED AS HELL..FIRST OFF, DEB DON’T HAVE THE BALLS TO DO WHAT SHE JUST DID, AND THE WHOLE THING APPEARED TO BE STAGED. GO LOOK AT IT AGAIN.
PLUS, GOTTI WOULD NEVER HAVE REACTED LIKE THAT, AND DEB SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS READING LINES, AS IF SHE HAD REHEARSED. ANY ONE THAT KNOWS IRV KNOWS HE HAS AN EXPLOSIVE TEMPER, AND EVEN THOUGH HE WAS ON CAMERA, WOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED HIMSELF TO HAVE BEEN PUNKED LIKE THAT BY HER, NEVER.
I THINK IT WAS STAGED. SHE DIDN’T EVEN SOUND MAD FOR REAL.
I THINK IRV AND THE SHOW’S WRITER WANT TO PUNCH THE SHOW UP A BIT FOR RATINGS AND WHAT BETTER TO GET PEOPLE TALKING THAN A FIGHT, WHICH WAS STAGED. I SWEAR IT WAS STAGED. JUST WATCH IT AGAIN. SHE WAS READING THEM LINES, AND WHY WOULDN’T SHE CALL HIM IRV, WHY SHE GONE CALL HIM GOTTI? THAT SHYT WAS STAGED AS HELL..MIGHT HAVE FOOLED SOME, BUT YA DIDN’T FOOL ME.
Irv Gotti needs to grow the *&^% up and his wife needs to learn to value herself. She does not have any fire or life in her soul. She is just existing.
The most powerful pray I prayed was “Father God, teach me how to love myself.” And it has been on every since.
I am glad that she is in counseling. She must now surround herself with strong and powerful women and learn what her purpose in life.