The following email is a long read. But this story is important because it highlights the injustice of a family court system that still favors the mother’s rights over the father’s.
In a society where delinquent fathers abandon their families and ignore their responsibility to their children, it’s a shame that loving fathers are being penalized by the courts for being the wrong sex.
Many of you will be touched by this story, as I was, because I personally know fathers who are being denied their parental rights when all they want is to spend quality time with their children.
After reading this email, you might want to rethink your decision to deal with a man who has children by other women. Many of those women have personal problems and lack the coping skills to move on with their lives after an emotional breakup. Many of them don’t consider the emotional health of their children. They are just bent on destroying your life and making you as miserable as they are.
Save yourself the heartache and pain.
Read the email after the break.
Loyal reader Ashley Lammie writes:
*My name is Ashley Lammie and I am writing you this letter in hopes that you will publish my story. My husband’s name is Clarence Lammie; he is 34 and has two children from two different women. However, he is the sweetest, most kindhearted person that you would ever want to meet. When we first met I was a little apprehensive about dating him because I had never dated a man with children before, and from the media depiction of single father’s, or baby daddy’s they get labeled as lazy, absent from the child’s life or not a good man. Initially I had some reservations, but the day I met Clarence, Chaz and London was the day I fell absolutely in love with them all.
We met at Centennial Olympic Park on a Saturday afternoon for our 2nd date. He was babysitting his two nieces and he had his two beautiful children, Chaz, who was 5 at the time, and London, who was 3 at the time. I saw the light in his eyes as he watched his kids play and laugh. It was something I have never witnessed before between a dad and his children, especially at his age. I was so smitten by his attentiveness and willingness to accommodate their every need; I thought something must be wrong with this man.
Clarence has a mother and father maternal instinct that is very rare. Later I found out that his son lived with him and that he and the son’s mother had a mutual agreement since 2006 that was not instructed by the courts. Clarence told me that after his daughter was born her mother became enraged and attacked him (he still has a bite scar) because he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with her due to her mental and physical abusive ways. After he expressed this to her, she kept his daughter from him for 6 months. Within those 6 months, Clarence went into a deep depression. He lost weight and almost lost his job. It was his boss that called him in her office and asked him what was going on and he explained his situation and she told him “you won’t be able to do anything to see your daughter without a job” and that was all the motivation he needed.
Clarence put himself on child support then got a lawyer and took his daughter’s mother to court. The mother made it very difficult; she would not comply with anything the courts asked of her and the courts would not hold her accountable. She also would not comply with the visitation that Clarence and his lawyer had requested in mediation. She was determined that Clarence not see his daughter at all. The end result was within a year and a half Clarence was given joint-legal custody in which we see London four days out of a month (every other weekend) and we get her on designated holidays per the court.
Now after being married (each for the first time) and enjoying all the great qualities of my husband, we have been suffering trying to get custody of his son Chaz. I stated at the beginning of this letter that he and the mother had a mutual agreement that Chaz would live with Clarence. From the day I met his son’s mother she was very rude and disrespectful to me. At the time the mother did not have stable residence nor did she have a car. Clarence would take his son to visit his mother and I would help her out as she fell on hard times. After he realized that his son’s mother was becoming even more disrespectful to his new relationship, he stopped doing those things for her. I asked my husband if he thought Chaz’s mother would come and take him back and he said, ”I would die before I let that happen.” Needless to say, it did happen!
When Chaz’s mother found out Clarence and I were getting married, she came and got Chaz on Saturday February 6, 2010 and we were married February 14, 2010. We tried to stop her from taking Chaz by calling the police but when the officer arrived he told my husband that because they did not have a custody order in place, his son would have to leave despite Clarence being his son’s primary caregiver sense 2006. I have never witnessed a grown man cry, but my husband cried all night and the rest of the next day. To watch his son walk out of the door was horrible, and not knowing what was going to happen was horrible. As soon as Monday morning arrived we went to the courts and filed papers for custody of Chaz on February 08, 2010. Because the courts are designed for the mother’s best interest, it has been a whirlwind trying to be heard.
It has been a year of no progress on the courts behalf until we wrote an urgent letter to the Judge requesting a court date. We had a recent court date [scheduled for] January 19, 2011, but the mother asked the Judge for a delay [which was granted]. My husband tried to explain to the judge his fury of not being able to see his son. Clarence went from seeing his son every day to seeing him only on Friday after 6pm, Saturday and Sunday of each week of the month. My husband is a great father who loves his kids very much. All he wants is to be a part of his kids life without having to go through the headache. At this time [his son’s mother] has 3 kids (pregnant with one now) and all three fathers are or have petitioned the courts for custody of their children. The day of our court hearing (which took us one year to get), Chaz’s mother asked the Judge to delay the case until she gets a lawyer. The Judge decided to honor her request for a delay of our case, which has been [pending] for a year. This is a perfect example of how hard fathers have to fight for their kids when they are the better parent.
It is unfair and should be brought to light. I became a stepmother because I wanted to be a part of my husband changing the world and because I love London and Chaz dearly. They are the epitome of their father. Clarence is a fantastic human being, Wonderful father, and an excellent husband. He plays with them, teaches them how to skate, ride bikes, and what being a good person is all about. My husband is not a [statistic] as hard as his children’s mothers try to make him weak, we prevail and become stronger.
I estimate there are hundreds of men who give up on obtaining custody of their children because the children’s mothers know the law and the courts make it extremely hard for the fathers to participate in the upbringing of their kid’s lives. They feel that paying child support is the only support a father should render. If it were not for a man, how could a child exist? Men should have equal parental rights as does the mother. They both helped create the child so they both should be able to raise the child without being put through so much tribulation. Clarence goes through the ringer just to spend quality and quantity time with his kids, which he does because they are his kids and nobody can take that away from him. He is a man of honesty [with] a heart of gold and was blessed with two beautiful children.
Clarence is a hard worker, he has been at the same job for 12 years, and he goes out of his way to help anybody. He is a GREAT father, the best I have ever met in my life. To see the smile and light in London and Chaz’s eyes when Clarence comes home is priceless. I am their stepmom, by the will of God, and I love them to pieces and they love me. I did not have kids before Clarence and I met, and now I have two. I want to let men know [who] may be going through this same situation: don’t give up. Keep fighting!
If you cannot afford a lawyer, you can do it by yourself. E-mail me your information at ashleylammie@att.net and my husband and I will direct you to the proper paperwork and how to get in court. It does not matter if you and the child’s mother were not married or have chosen to go your separate ways; your children deserve you in their life and no matter what happened with you and the mother – it’s about the child. Don’t let anyone strip you of your God given right of being a father. We are still in the process of getting custody of Chaz, who is now 7, and modifying custody for more time with London, who is now 5, and no matter how hard the courts or the children’s mothers make it for us, we will not give up!
*This email was edited for clarity
Well aint this some bullsh…..?!
This is one of the many reasons why I flat-out REFUSE to deal with a man who has children UNLESS the mother is deceased.
I will not.
Homegirl needs her azz dragged behind a car!
In a society where delinquent fathers abandon their families and ignore their responsibility to their children, it’s a shame that loving fathers are being penalized by the courts for being the wrong sex.
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This is soooo true!!!!!
I learned this when my husband and I got custody of my step-son. And when my Dad had issues with my lil brother’s Mom. The ish sucks when you have men trying to be there for their children, and they have to go through hell and high water to be in their lives or get custody.
I have a friend who is going through this sameeeee thing!! Had a short-relationship with a girl, the girl got pregnant, tried to pass the baby off as someone else’s. He had to FIGHT to get a paternity test because he KNEW the baby was his, turns out it was. Since then, he moved to one state to gain residence and a new job to get stability to get his kid and the mother moved clear across the country…..leaving the baby….with her parents and not seeing him for almost two years.
He has being fighting since 2009 to get the courts to grant him full custody and this chick who’s child doesn’t even recognize her (and has just had another baby while on AWOL, no job, no home, no stability) is only fighting him for the kid because she wants child support. He’s told the judge, he won’t even ever request child support from her- he just wants his son with him.
I be wanting to fight that bish about that….lawd, bitter azz females…again.
I agree and I am so glad you posted this story. The system is so pro-mother that they look over things just to keep the child with the mothers. That is not right! I have a male friend who tried to get custody of his (now 3) year old daughter about a year ago after the mothers boyfriend beat her while she was at work!!! Why was there even an issue here?? He beat that baby terribly, she was in NICU for weeks and now has a scar from the front of her forehead to the back og her head
*of
Thank her for this story. It really touched me. Im proud to say I have a GREAT FATHER that has always been there for me and my two brothers. I have to take my hat off to this gentlemen, you are doing what you have to do for your kids. But seeing this happen with other guy friends I know, it is hard when you want to be there for your child but the baby moma does not want to let go of you. So I hope all the best for this couple and I will be praying for them. This story will help someone else…trust me. Have a great Friday!
StillASassyOne says:
I have a friend who is going through this sameeeee thing!! Had a short-relationship with a girl, the girl got pregnant, tried to pass the baby off as someone else’s. He had to FIGHT to get a paternity test because he KNEW the baby was his, turns out it was. Since then, he moved to one state to gain residence and a new job to get stability to get his kid and the mother moved clear across the country…..leaving the baby….with her parents and not seeing him for almost two years.
He has being fighting since 2009 to get the courts to grant him full custody and this chick who’s child doesn’t even recognize her (and has just had another baby while on AWOL, no job, no home, no stability) is only fighting him for the kid because she wants child support. He’s told the judge, he won’t even ever request child support from her- he just wants his son with him.
I be wanting to fight that bish about that….lawd, bitter azz females…again.
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Some bishes ain’t shyt!!!!
Oooh the STORIES I could tell….we would be on this post ALL DAY! I despise bitter ass baby mama’s and triflin ass baby daddy’s (the deadbeats). They make me sick to my stomach!
OHoney says:
I agree and I am so glad you posted this story. The system is so pro-mother that they look over things just to keep the child with the mothers. That is not right! I have a male friend who tried to get custody of his (now 3) year old daughter about a year ago after the mothers boyfriend beat her while she was at work!!! Why was there even an issue here?? He beat that baby terribly, she was in NICU for weeks and now has a scar from the front of her forehead to the back og her head
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And I also know chicks that will keep the fathers from seeing the kid if he doesn’t pay child support. Burns me up!!!
Yes- he should be helping you to take care of the child’s costs and all but if that man suddenly DIES, all the paid-up child support in the world is not going to bring him back and make-up for the lost time when YOU kept him from his child!
Grrr! Getting heated just thinking about it. I cannot stand women sometimes. Or men. Hell- just people. And cats. And some dogs. And most bugs.
I’m cranky today….
I read as much as I could of that bullsh*t before I had enough. She acts like her husband deserves a medal for being a father to his children that he chose to make with what she believes to be questionable women. She is not complaining that he can’t see his son at all. She is complaining because the mom has custody. By her own account he has the child every single weekend.
Also by her own account the mom didn’t even take the son until dad stopped bringing the son to visit her AS WELL SHE SHOULD. This ain’t about you (scrolling up) Ashley. Why should she not see her child because she doesn’t respect you? Why does she ever need to lay eyes on you?
Stop whining, keep fighting it in court if that is what you guys want to do and keep it moving. Don’t try to give us some sob story about how terrible the baby mamas are. YOUR MAN HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH THOSE WOMEN. He is not better than the moms. He’s in the same boat. It sounds like you just look down on the situation and want to elevate your husband above it. He ain’t.
This story was very touching!!! I wish her and Clarence the best in obtaining custody of the children. They are beautiful and deserve a GREAT father in the life!!
Gives MsOsOSassy a big
please love the animals
I have a male friend who ended up with custody of his two sons (3 and 6 at the time) all over vistation rights. He told the judge he wasnt seeking full custody just wanted to be able to see his kids during his set time. The judge gave the ex wife one last warning to keep the visitation schedule well of course she didnt he took her back to court and the judge granted him full legal custody and the mother vistation rights. He tried to tell the judge again that was not his goal (he loves his kids but didnt want to take them from their mother) the judge told him he didnt have a choice anymore that was the ruling and that was that.
I was just saying yesterday that SOMETIMES good fathers are made to jump through so many hoops to see their chidren and that is not fair. Some good men/fathers do give up and walk away and although I dont think that is right either I def. understand.
Good Luck and God Bless this family
I swear I know Clarence personally for last couple years.. More like a professional relationship.. He works for —-x company, and i always thought he was a great guy, and very down to earth and humble. To this day, he always is in a upbeat mode whenever I see him.. He always mentioned his kids… Just a great all around dude.. It takes one to know one, and its few of us out her.. Last year sometime, They also had an article in the AJC newspaper about his wedding with his wife, beautiful pictures and how they met, things of that.. Great article…
But it really hurts to know that he was going through all of that, and still kept his composure.. Keep your head up clarence.. God got you!!
wow
@Bird
I think you’re reading a different story:
“At the time the mother did not have stable residence nor did she have a car. Clarence would take his son to visit his mother and I would help her out as she fell on hard times. After he realized that his son’s mother was becoming even more disrespectful to his new relationship, he stopped doing those things for her.”
^^^She didn’t say he kept the child from the mother, she said they would help her out during hard times and because she didn’t have a car, they would take the child to her. Him “keeping” the child from his mother, and her being too lazy to catch a risde, bus, hack or whatever to go see HER child are two different situations.
“When Chaz’s mother found out Clarence and I were getting married, she came and got Chaz on Saturday February 6, 2010 and we were married February 14, 2010.”
^^^^@Bird- so you see NO problem with this bitter ho not giving a damn about keeping her child until she heard her babydaddy was about to get married?! Really?
We really need to stop villainizing the men for every f**ked up thing that a woman does wrong. It ain’t always THEM, sometimes, it really is US!!
I LOVE THIS POST SANDY THANKS FOR POSTING THIS
AND THIS POST MADE ME REALIZE THAT I GOT FRIENDS THAT ACT JUST LIKE THIS CWZY HEFFA!!!
@SASSY I HATE BITTER BISHES TOO!!!
@Bird
No Mirs, he left the state. Went back to New Orleans
SO Sad!!!!
OHoney says:
No Mirs, he left the state. Went back to New Orleans
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No jailtime, no azz whoopin, nuthin????
I do feel that courts are biased towards mothers but I hear too many stories where fathers want to be there but refuse to deal with the courts and simply let the mothers have their way. That isn’t right. Fight that fight and do right by your children no matter how long it takes.
Hey Fab!!!

Yeah- I have a few friends like this too and when they start telling me about how “trifling” their baby fathers are because they’re not paying and how they’re not letting them see the kid until they pay, I always roll my eyes and tell them the same thing: “ya’ll were the perfect match because apparently, ya’ll are both trifling when it comes to your kid.” *walks off*
I can’t stand that. Some men may not always have the money, but money and the love from a parent are in two different stratospheres and should never be interchangeable!
StillASassyOne says:
I can’t stand that. Some men may not always have the money, but money and the love from a parent are in two different stratospheres and should never be interchangeable!
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Soooo true.
My Dad is broker than a joke, and cheap as all hail, but he is damn sure the best Daddy. 
See it’s reasons like this.. why I RE-Fall in Love with Sandra Rose (the person)…..Thank you for posting this story. As a woman whose involved with a man who has custody of his child..I THANK YOU!! SINCERLY!!
These are the men who don’t get enough recognition and support. They are the forgotten ones. I really really appreciate this post. GREAT JOB Sandra
Wow after reading all of that, I didnt come to the conclusion they were keeping the child from his mother….I came to the conclusion that mother is bitter and spiteful….but each to his/her own.
This must be a nightmare for them. I am pretty much going through the same thing. My husband of 11 years had 2 kids before he met me. The mother and him were already broken up when I got with him, but ever since I came into his life the mother of his kids does not let him see the kids. When in fact she had another child from another man shortly after they broke up, and ended up giving that child to the father to raise. He has paid child support since the begining. Everytime we get a phone number for her she changes it. She moves alot. We have talked to lawyers but since they live in another state its even more difficult. The kids are now 14 and 16. They have never met me, or our kids. I feel like if I would have been mean or a hater, then she would have forced the kids on us, but since I was willing to welcome them with open arms she decided to make it difficult. My husband came to the decision about 4 years ago that he would just continue to pay the child support and when they get older and are able to come around on their own he is going to tell them what their mom has done. Its very sad.
i love when you post stories like this sandra. Sadly….his story is not uncommon.
Isn’t there some group out there that fights for father’s rights. I can’t remembe the name i saw them on dr. phil once. He may want to get in touch with something like that.
We really need to stop villainizing the men for every f**ked up thing that a woman does wrong. It ain’t always THEM, sometimes, it really is US!!
This story is nothing new…unfortunately…women are bitter and use their kids to get back at the man. Some women use kids to keep a man and when they realize that ish don’t work they use those same kids to spite them. It’s sad really
Some women need to build a bridge and get over some shyt…so the relationship didn’t work out…Have some self respect and move the hell on! Why put your kids at a disadvantage to be on some “imma get him back” shyt. That stuff makes me sooooo angry >:( Then they’re the ones complaining about being a single mother….SMH
Mirs, nope, no jail time, no beat down.
Trust me a few beat downs were on the way for him. The dad lived like an hour away in a different city. Once him and his family arrived, the guy was nowhere to be found. We speculate she was covering for him because she claimed she didn’t know where he was. She was “in shock” at the situation and didn’t cooperate with the cops for at least a day or two!
To prove my point.. I know Clarence, and like I said dude is all around.. These are the pics i was mentioning in my 1st comment.. Beautiful wedding.. http://projects.ajc.com/gallery/view/living/rhodes-wedding-0214/
You know what, I hate to say it because I find it very lazy, unethical and mentality set for failure but I truly do understand when some fathers say: “f-it, I’ll just see the kids when they’re old enough to make their own decisions not controlled by the mother” because some of these women are trifling and really shouldn’t have custody in the 1st damn place.
PLEASE, PLEASe be careful who you have kids with! I know we can’t always predict the future, but you know if this chick you’re not married to has the potential to be a vindictive, spiteful, bitter, jealous, baby mama if in that situation. Run while your azz can!
My family member and I had a discussion last night about the REAL DEFINITION of a “DEAD-BEAT Dad”
Which father in these two scenrios would you consider a deadbeat?
Father #1..father of 2. Has the financial means to support his child. He pays a monthly amount of $1296.00. Every January he writes out all 12 checks all at once and gives it to the mother.,,,,,BUT he doesn’t spend time with his girls. He doesn’t call. He just pays.
Father #2…father of 1. Is involved in every academic, social, sports and etc of his son’s life. Believes in being around his son everyday. Heavily and extremely active in important decisions that affect his son’s life and future,,,,,,,,BUT…he doesn’t have a job and can’t fully support his child financially. He doesn’t pay support.
Are either of these fathers….DEAD-BEATS? What is a DEAD-BEAT?
Thanks for posting this story. I know custody battles can be expensive, long and exhausting, so good luck to them…. What I got from what Bird was saying(I could be wrong) is that women are just expected to take care of their children but when men do it(pay child support or are a part of their children’s life), it’s considered some great feat. He doesn’t get brownie points for putting himself on child support IMO, that’s what he was supposed to do…..
Wow! I really hope this letter doesn’t stop here. I hope he continues to fight the bitter bytch.
to the wife standing by her husband and reaching out to find help.
What God brings you to, He will bring you through!
Sandra, keep us updated. Hey Everyone
I agree and I am so glad you posted this story. The system is so pro-mother that they look over things just to keep the child with the mothers. That is not right! I have a male friend who tried to get custody of his (now 3) year old daughter about a year ago after the mothers boyfriend beat her while she was at work!!! Why was there even an issue here?? He beat that baby terribly, she was in NICU for weeks and now has a scar from the front of her forehead to the back og her head
i would have killed him No Question I cant do this with the babies
Im going back to the other post Team REALFATHERS
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This Right here has me shaking
The courts need to look into these so called mothers lives just as deeply as they do the men. Birthing a child does not automatically make you a fit mother. I see and hear stories like this everyday. I think the mother should have to fight just has hard as the men, it shouldn’t automatically be given to them. Women can be so deceitful.
@Genia I would say #1 is a deadbeat. It’s so not about the money in a child’s life. Its about being a part of their lives.
I read the whole story. And even in her rendition of it the mother’s are not all bad. She doesn’t want to deal with them at all. She did say that he stopped bringing the child to the mom because she was disrespectful to his wife. Why is the wife dealing with the mom if they don’t have a good relationship? Even though the mom took custody of the child he still gets him every weekend. Now tell me how that equates to mom keeping the child from Dad?
Like I said, the impression I get from this young lady is she doesn’t appreciate her hubby having baby mamas at all and if she had her way her and hubby would ride off into the sunset with the kids. I ain’t falling for the okie doke. I have seen some very difficult co-parenting situations and this does not fit the bill. He sees his kids. Him not being the custodial parent is not the end of the world.
And I didn’t even say anything about her meeting both kids on their second date. That’s a whole other can of worms. I’m not judging her, but I think she is being awfully hard on the moms. Pick out all the bad things she said in her letter and you will find that it doesn’t amount to anything.
I don’t think this man cares about paying child support. He just wants to have a part of kid’s life…..and in the long run, a child is gonna remember spending time with than daddy than the check is his mother is gonna blow..
Terri B says:
The courts need to look into these so called mothers lives just as deeply as they do the men. Birthing a child does not automatically make you a fit mother. I see and hear stories like this everyday. I think the mother should have to fight just has hard as the men, it shouldn’t automatically be given to them. Women can be so deceitful.
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@Genia
Deadbeat is #1. Your child is not a bill to be paid once a year like property taxes. And I truly despise with a passion anybody who really believes that they are “taking care of” their child just because they pull out their wallet and only as MANDATED by a court, at that!
Hell- I pay taxes, taxes cover welfare and social services, soc srvcs covers food stamps, cash assistance, housing and vouchers…
So technically, using that reasoning- I’m a parent to every kid in the state of Maryland whose parents are on welfare because I pay some of it from my check every week, right?
All I can say is having kids is no joke and a whole of responsibility.
WOW How sad. I hope things work out for him and his family. I hate when good fathers have to be put through unnecessary things just because the women is bitter and cant move on. Child support is necessary but it doesn’t take the place of a man having/developing a relationship with his kids.
OHoney says:
Mirs, nope, no jail time, no beat down.
Trust me a few beat downs were on the way for him. The dad lived like an hour away in a different city. Once him and his family arrived, the guy was nowhere to be found. We speculate she was covering for him because she claimed she didn’t know where he was. She was “in shock” at the situation and didn’t cooperate with the cops for at least a day or two!
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I don’t think yall are feeling me. Read her letter again and answer me this one question: Is the father still to this day seeing both of his children regularly. If the answer is yes, please tell me what the real problem is here. Please.
The reality of it is some people are not as mature as they should be in the situations involving children. A man should not have to pay monthly dues in order to see his child. If he has the funds and is not providing them, that does not mean he should not be able to see his child! I do belive in child support through courts IF the man is not providing for his child or there is some kind of serious reason (abuse) that he is not able to see you or the child. IMO
I am SO SO MAD…just angry. Just SHEWWWW…
I got a friend who went thru some ish like this TOO…BM not nothing and still having babies. Now he got his lil girl (finally) and she can’t pay him child support but he had to pay HER $600 a month when SHE had custody. Even if she could she won’t…she told him AND the csupport folks such…
@starr you are right there are groups and one man was on Tom Joyner not to long ago talking about his org that helps fathers see their children.
Ok so we all read the same story except Bird
You can read stories all day on dreamin demon about womens’ boyfriends beatin the shyt out of other men’s children, alot of time, till they die. In almost every case the women somehow try to justify their boyfriends actions. SICK!!!!!
I think the problem is that he is a better able parent (more stable) and he wants full custody.
So glad my upcoming child is a first for both of us.
I remember a story a few years back a woman who drowned her kids in the bath tub….all of the baby daddys was tryna to get custody of their respective kids because mom’s was being unstable….none of those guys had a chance…. the court needs to stop being so unfair to fathers
Sorry Bird, I did not get that from her letter.
@Bird
Im sorta with you on this I stopped reading the bullchit letter also and what the fuck is she writing Sandra for this is not helping her case. She need to handle her business privately putting others ppls business out there is not KOOL! She sound a the sucka that’s born every minute!
I haven’t had the chance to read the comments so please forgive me if some of my thoughts were previously communicated.
Ashley, thanks for sharing you and your husband’s story. It saddens me to know in this day and age where a hands on father is rare, a mother would use her children as a pawn to inflict revenge on the father. How spiteful can you be? And the fact that the baby’s mom (hate that term) has three children by three other men and they ALL want custody of their children as well is truly disturbing. Not that it matters now, we have to be more selective when it comes to choosing our mates because this mess right here isbeyond ridiculous. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this situation better for you because the ones who are truly suffering during this conflict are the children. My prayers go out to you and your husband. Regardless of what monkey wrenches are being thrown you way please stay hopeful that justice will prevail. The children see you are fighting on their behalf….
@Bird
How about this- he had custody because the chick didn’t have a house, job or car…….you think she just all of a sudden acquired all 3 on February 6 when she came and got the child?
If it’s okay for HER to only allow him (the more stable and able to provide financially parent) to see his child on weekends and holidays, why was it NOT okay for her to do the same to him?
Just because you allow the father to see the kid because and ONLY because the courts mandated it does not mean you are a good, or even sufficient “mother.”
She’s bitter. She’s spiteful. She’s trifling. That’s all it is. And he doesn’t deserve an award for doing what he “supposed to do” (taking care of his kids), then she deserves some punishment for not being able to do what she’s “supposed to be doing”, no?
@ Daisy…I’m not trying to be funny but, I reread it and literally
cause I didn’t see what she saw.
NO disrespect bird. But, I didn’t see where they stopped taking him to see her, I saw where they stopped helping her and it seems she’s the trifling one because although she was homeless and carless she would rather her child suffer with her than be in a stable home. I don’t understand what was wrong with her that she couldn’t go visit her own child.
@Bird I think he wants a more active role in his children’s life than one a week or whatever. One of the mom’s wasn’t complying with the visitation set by the court. He may feel he’s a better parent and the moms are unstable. I don’t think you see what the fight is here and I don’t think you would sit back while you see the hurt on your husband’s face as he yearns for his kids. He wants a more active role in their lives, that’s all.
yvonne79 says:
I haven’t had the chance to read the comments so please forgive me if some of my thoughts were previously communicated.
Ashley, thanks for sharing you and your husband’s story. It saddens me to know in this day and age where a hands on father is rare, a mother would use her children as a pawn to inflict revenge on the father. How spiteful can you be? And the fact that the baby’s mom (hate that term) has three children by three other men and they ALL want custody of their children as well is truly disturbing. Not that it matters now, we have to be more selective when it comes to choosing our mates because this mess right here isbeyond ridiculous. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this situation better for you because the ones who are truly suffering during this conflict are the children. My prayers go out to you and your husband. Regardless of what monkey wrenches are being thrown you way please stay hopeful that justice will prevail. The children see you are fighting on their behalf….

***********
SASO! hey dahling
This email broke my heart! I hate birdz…I really do..
oh and Shout out 2 my daddy for being AWESOME!!
Congrats Terri B
DAMN THAT IS SOOO SAD.
SOME WOMAN ARE IGNORANT FOR THIS… BABYMAMA NEEDS HER HEAD CRACKED.
Hey Dubz, Yvonne, Choc, DIMPZ! and Peach
s to all
@ Awesome It aint nothing nan one of them can tell me it gone be to missing people that day My babies
then you gone take up for that corpse you Right SICK
@Bird I didn’t get that she wanted the mothers gone and the kids to themselves. I am all about the MOTHER having custody as long as she is fit and wants custody. I don’t like when men try to take away kids from the mother just for GP BUT I didn’t get that vibe here
I don’t think the wife is the villian.
@Dimplez
Hey babes!

Me and you are seeing the same thing….I find it trifling that she came and got that kid knowing the father had the more stable situation. And anytime a woman has kids and even just ONE of them is in full custody of another person due to “instability”….that should always be a red flag on the play!
Bish is trifling…
Hey His!
*Damn girl…your pics get finer everytime you post a new one! Post some more!*
OK I am missing something (NOT) but the email stated that he put himself on child support. That in itself speaks volumes most men avoid child support. Not all just some not generalizing here. He had custody just not legally she only wants the son back to be vindictive and that is not okay at all. She is having more kids that she cant take of, if all of her kids fathers are seeking full custody something is terribly wrong.
Blended families can be challenging. I feel what Bird is saying and there’s always 3 sides to a story. Its great that Clarence is a “#1 Dad”, but I wouldn’t bash the kid’s mother so quick.
Right @ Daisy I didn’t read that either. The wife is probably tired of seeing doors slammed in her husband’s face and the hurt and pain he is going through trying to raise his kids.
Hey His (sexy self), AL, MzD, Charbee, :hugs: SASO
Bird says:
I don’t think yall are feeling me. Read her letter again and answer me this one question: Is the father still to this day seeing both of his children regularly. If the answer is yes, please tell me what the real problem is here. Please.
________________________________________________________________
Bird, you are right about the delivery of the facts from the author of the email. (perhaps she decided to relieve of us of the more horrid details :shrugs)…the story still awakens an awareness that some WOMEN are notorious for being the main OBSTACLE in fathers doing what they are SUPPOSED Too do..for no other reason than…THEY CAN. Because they have ulterior motives, whether it’s for financial gain or otherwise.
The portion of the email that speaks about how “Clarance” went from being the primary care giver of his child, to only have that taken away a week before his wedding…smells like an ulterior motive to me.
The email..again if nothing else, speaks to the “SYSTEM” being gender biased.
Hey Saso!
I agree and the other one was on some BS too. What does him not wanting you have to do with him taking care of his child?
I’ve kinda been through that with a bitter baby mama but the funny thing is, whe she decided she wanted a life of her own, it was, what time you coming to get they asses?
@Saso, must u flatter me like u do *squeezes u*
Hey Al! and AWESOME!!
Bird would you set back and take it if someone limited your time with your kids to just a week within a month just because they felt like it?
@HIS HEy Ms lady
I still think chick should keep her mouth shut she is hurting the children by exposing their family issues some chit just don’t need to be said in a public forum that’s a personal issue not for SANDRA ROSE readers REAL!
@Peachpussycat – Thanks hun.
Hey Peach! *azz slap*
@Genia: me and you are >>>>>>HERE<<<<<<<<
She ONLY came and got that kid because they got married. Especially if the wife mentioned that "I was helping her out as she fell on hard times" even though that chick was a bish to her from the start!
Beware of the power of a bitter bish with a kid to use as a pawn.
Snoots and Genia!
Happy Friday!!!
ONE TIME for all the CO PARENTS who never had to go to court for child support or vistation
SASO what up Ma?
but I wouldn’t bash the kid’s mother so quick.
___________________
Thank you and this is what Im saying she is showing how low she can go by even going there in the first place!
His_Mommy623 says:
Hey Dubz, Yvonne, Choc, DIMPZ! and Peach s to all
___________________________________
*do I need to shoot His in the pinky toe????*
Peach whats up ?
@ Choco
Also, the system is biased as hell towards dads. I have a friend right now who is trying to get custody of his son. long story short, the mom hasn’t always been able to provide for him properly, DCFS has removed the son from her home twice once because her man beat her ass while she was pregnant and once because my friend called them. The son,2yrsold, was coming to visit him and would have random bruises and once came over with bruises around his neck where someone had choked him with a belt. She just had another child, by the new dude, and my friend is currently still fighting for custody. She also lied and said that my friend was a deadbeat that doesn’t do anything. I guess she didn’t realize that he has 1000+ pics of this kid, doctor’s records, receipts and past DCF reports that HE called in and had created.
@Nina I agree there are ALWAYS 3 sides to every story very true indeed
I dont think she was bashing the baby mothers just more so telling her side of the story. Now if the baby mothers told their sides they may “bash” the wife and or father.
This is a good topic to be brought in the public eye if true because men who want to be good/active fathers at times do catch hell and that isnt right. Women (some) dog baby daddies out in PUBLIC everyday so why not salute one in public as well #justsaying
Nooooooooooooo @Mirs, I didnt know u were here bew
(really tight)
U know I lubz ya champ!
As sad as this story is, it’s not unheard of. Men have always been shafted as it relates to justice in the court system and parenting. When you want to play a role in the life of your child, you’re a$$ed out, but the minute you miss a payment – you’re a deadbeat!
Women need to stop using their children as pawns in their personal vendettas against the father’s of their children. You hurt your children and eventually contribute to the majority of the ills within the black community.
I abhor when a brother is trying to do the RIGHT thing by his children and the mother of the kid/kids won’t allow him to because he’s with another woman. Grow the f*ck up! It’s not about YOU, there are enough fatherless children within the black community and people look at black MEN as a whole when they start tallying the numbers and looking to lay blame when these kids turn out to be $hit and does something to hurt somebody – nobody ever counts the number of children who are fatherless because the mother CHOSE that life!
He wants to play a role and you go above and beyond to keep him away and then you tell anyone who will listen (INCLUDING the kid) that he ain’t $hit.
SMH
Cute pic! @ His
@Al
That sounds good and makes for a good movie but real life doesn’t work that way. You have to go through the proper channels and try to get primary custody in those instances. If you were to exact revenge on someone to protect your child and end up going to jail, surely you’d feel it was a just reason to give up your freedom but if the child is still living and is put back in the custody of the mother, odds are she’ll end up with a similar type dude and you’d be in jail then and unable to protect them at all.
so Dimpz and AL didnt see me speak?
Choco aka Hippie says:
@Bird
Im sorta with you on this I stopped reading the bullchit letter also and what the **** is she writing Sandra for this is not helping her case. She need to handle her business privately putting others ppls business out there is not KOOL! She sound a the sucka that’s born every minute!
_____________________________________
I read the whole letter and I can understand where she’s coming from.
But detailing the whole story on Sandra isn’t going to make the situation any better. While its unfortunate they are facing this dilemma…
she could have told the story w/o using the full government name in my opinions….
Even though I COULD NOT stand my daughters’ father or his wife (lonnnng story), I never kept them away from him. I would put my game face on because it wasn’t about me..it was about my daughters and their relationship w/ their Dad. They are now 17 & 19 and can NEVER say I kept them way from him. I didn’t meet my “bio dad” until I was 21..he died two years later. So I vowed that I would never keep my daughters from having a relationship with their father.
I feel sorry for Clarence. Some women are just evil & bitter!
This chick Ashley sounds like a gooooood woman and Clarence better hold on to her.
As for what’s going on with his kids it is truly disheartning and I hope that it all works out for the best.
There are some very good men out there that love their kids and want to take care of them.
I just always wondered why some men always seem to get caught up with these da** birds out here. I’ve noticed a lot of good dudes get caught up with some ratched characters. What is that about?
Mirs Mommy Head Nod what up Gangsta
SO it was okay for this father to have custody of his son for 3yrs without any complaints but once another women gets involved then she decides to take her son. IF that not bitter and vindictive then i dont know what is.
obviously AWESOME didnt see a bish either!
@Carrington
type THAT sh!t again
Thanks @Dimpz *adjusts your headband* lol
@Al :hugs:
@ His…I spoke! I said you lookeded cute bish!
Al didn’t speak to me neither though and that ninja tried to steal my plane ticket!
I did not see any bashing in this letter, just stating facts (assuming its facts).
@ His check the haircut post
Terri B says:
Bird would you set back and take it if someone limited your time with your kids to just a week within a month just because they felt like it?
___________________________________________________________________
Good Quesition
IDK I didn’t have time for that petty chit…. wtf you better come get his azz so i can have a break
HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
@flsun99 I agree with you fully.
I surely could have been bitter/evil in my situation.
His father cheated with this girl and now (3 years later) they’ve bought a house together. That has nothing to do with our son though so we have no issues when it comes to their relationship. Everybody don’t think like that
PS: WTF is JOINT custody and then you tell me I only get the kid every other Thursday from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and every other Christmas long enough for him to open up his gifts.
Mz D I spoke to you in the same post that i tried to borrow your plane tickets WHat up though Mz D And lil beige baby
@Carrington…. have I ever told you I loved you?
@Al….. Hey babes! *watch what I’mma bout to do with my finger*
@Al, I got chu
@Dimpz… I saw bew and YES I see what u did there
OHoneyyyy *quick fondle* what it do bew??
@SASO, that Carrington sho knows how to make a bish nipples stand up
@ Al..I apologize. I stand corrected. Me and my pigmentally challenge E-spring are fine.
How the hell you borrow a plane ticket?!
Hey @His!!!
@Dimpz Did you get my email?
On topic. If you were to ever go to your city hall or wherever you would have to go to start the process of getting your children by primary custody or just visitation, you would see the disdain they have for most fathers. When you walk in the door all they see is a “Dude that don’t want to pay child support” like they can’t possibly fathom that a father would actually love his children and want them to be with him. Alot of people see a woman losing custody as “tearing them away from her” but in the same breath think fathers should just accept any time given to them. At least they’re getting some time, right? GTFOH
Ashley, best of luck to you and your family. I hope you are able to work our more favorable terms.
Lesson to all of us: When you are not married, the law gets a little gray when it comes to child custody. Work out this stuff when you are still friendly. When you wait until it goes south, there is a long fight ahead. The wheels of justice move slowly.
I’m not understanding the part about working out the custody arrangement of the little girl and not addressing the little boy’s situation simultaneously.
*Who pulled a t*ddy out? Where?*
the system is in the womans favor thats no doubt. even with visitation agreements and the such in place the minute you miss a payment you essentially void that agreement and can be denied whatever that agreement was. let the woman miss that agreement and basically nothing happens. its also things like a woman can go request a modification of support if she gets wind of your new job making new money but let you lose your job and you basically got to hire a lawyer to get a court date to request the same thing she can freely request. in the end i think the child should be with whoever can provide the most emotionally and physically stable environment be it the man or woman. but i dont think you need to be bound to the every other weekend or whatever it is if its possible to see your child more often be it pick em up from school one day just to drop them off at home just that short amount of time could mean a whole lot to the child just to know the other parent can be there at any given time.
@Ohoney
Don’t even sweat that fool! Karma is a bish….she may not ALWAYS be quick, but that bish is SUPER-thorough when she finally get here.
jazzyiest says:
This chick Ashley sounds like a gooooood woman and Clarence better hold on to her.
As for what’s going on with his kids it is truly disheartning and I hope that it all works out for the best.
There are some very good men out there that love their kids and want to take care of them.
I just always wondered why some men always seem to get caught up with these da** birds out here. I’ve noticed a lot of good dudes get caught up with some ratched characters. What is that about?
~~~~~~~
Most men w/Degrees lack common sense. They only see a big butt and a smile and never get to know the woman. Clarance not only has 1 baby mama but two. So far the greatest thing that has come out of this journey the Lammie’s are facing is the bonding of their marriage by sharing this together. I thank her for sharing their story w/us.
Ms OSOSassy girl, I’m so calm cool and collected. That is a wonderful story for a ladies night with chocolate martini’s but the S.Rose short version is…….I’m good
Carrington says:
PS: WTF is JOINT custody and then you tell me I only get the kid every other Thursday from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and every other Christmas long enough for him to open up his gifts.
_____________________________________________
I hate JOINT custody!! I think its pointless for the deadbeats (both mother & father) the chance to try to have some say so in the decisions needed to be made for the child. My child’s father isn’t in her life, so if at any time I wanted to move out the state, he could prevent that from happening until the judge makes a decision on whether this move is in the best interest of the child (which could take weeks, or months and make me lose out on a job offer)… :rollseyes:
I’m currently taking the necessary steps to change that as we speak…
His_Mommy623 says:
Nooooooooooooo @Mirs, I didnt know u were here bew (really tight)
U know I lubz ya champ!
___________________________
Heyyyy AL
This is exactly why I am going into Family Law!!
At 1st I was tired of hearing men’s excuses but when I acctually witness their child’s mother…I could empathize.
In MN men have barely any rights when it comes to their children and most of them are terrified of the law already.
Carrington says:
PS: WTF is JOINT custody and then you tell me I only get the kid every other Thursday from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and every other Christmas long enough for him to open up his gifts.
~~~~~~~
I didn’t get that either, joint means 50/50.
@ SASO ORH i thought we was past your issue
@ awesome…I replied
the email stated that he put himself on child support. That in itself speaks volumes most men avoid child support. Not all just some not generalizing here.
——————————————————
I know some grown men who are running from the csupport folks right NAH…and ahhh my daughter’s father put himself on it when he was still a lad of 20!!! So I tell some of these dudes I know…he was more of a man at 20…than you are in your mid 30’s!!!!
Stop running fellas the ones that are tryna avoid it. Step up or step off. Word.
And another thing about precious perfect Ashley. She has posted her husband and pictures of his children with this story and told us all how the mom didn’t have a pot to piss in nor a window to throw it out. We don’t know what happened to get her in this position. She has kicked the backs in of both moms.
Ashley, congrats girl. Get all the support you need from these folks whose brothers, friends, cousins baby mamas put the dads through hell. I see right through you ma. You are dirty with yours. I hope Sandra hears from the scum of the earth moms that your husband made babies with soe we can hear a more well rounded story.
Forgive me, where are my manners? Hey His mommy, Dimpz, AlBoy, Laker, Sassy, Jazzy, Daisy, Bird, Kwall….
scrolls up
OHoney, Jade, Carrington….oh hell, I give up! Hey y’all :wave:
You are dirty with yours.
_________________
Right cuz how she handled this entire ordeal says she lacks a lot!
YO YVONNE!
Hey Yvonne!
I shole’ love looking at your gravi! (Hey Rosa….sexy azz! *growl*)
@Bird
You seem to really be going hard at Ashley & Clarence. Have you been the “mother” in this situation before or something because I don’t think most folks here are getting out of this what you are.
@ Yvonne whats up Ma?
Hey Yvonne! :wave:
@ Bird……….I will agree with you that girly didn’t hafta post they pics and whatnot but then again, she didn’t post them, Sandra did. Maybe she just sent them along to show how happy the kids were with daddy?
And if some bish did something like this to my new husband just to be vindictive and had his grown azz crying like he was getting open heart surgery with no anesthetic…
….I’d be so “dirty” with mine that you’d need stock in Oxi-Clean to wipe me off.
F**k what you heard….
Some of these baby mothers ain’t chit! I truly hopes everything works out in their favor ESPECIALLY considering how good of a father he has been to those children.
[making sure I get married before I start popping kids out]
My problem is why is she putting the kids business out there like that?
FoxE says:
I hate JOINT custody!! I think its pointless for the deadbeats (both mother & father) the chance to try to have some say so in the decisions needed to be made for the child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love joint custody, IF it’s going to BE actual JOINT custody, but it’s not “joint” custody to me when what the courts do is basically allow me to “visit” with my child on a certain day, for a specific time-frame. WTF?
What if I’m sick, or having something going on on that ONE Friday of the month? To me, joint custody should be just that – SHARED custody, basically what you’re doing with this specific day of the month shyt is making me a visitor in my child’s life. I don’t want “visitation” with my kid. I WANT to play a role in his life.
I don’t EVER want their a time to come when I have to visit my kid on a schedule. I can’t co-parent when I’m only showing up four days per month because during those four days of visiting, I’m trying to make it the best four days of his life. You rarely get disciplined because I don’t want you to not want to come back and I’ve missed you too much to discipline you – particularly when your mammy is a jacka$$ who has you the majority of the time and it’s REAL easy for her to turn you against me.
The first time I beat your a$$ or punish you and you go home and say, “I don’t want to go over there.” the next “visit” – that’s all mama needs to kick up some shyt!
@ Yvonne
Hey hunny bunz!!!!
Let me get my roll call ish together *clearing my throat*
What up Dimpz, Al, Mis, His, OHoney, Genia & Choco!!!
If I missed anyone I’m sorry. Good day to all the fam!
Has anyone seen Mean today??? I’m ready to carry on that foolishness from yesterday.
*anesthesia – sorry!
Ok NOW I get what Bird is saying…she threw the other BM’s under the BUS! Talking about them like they trash and chit. Dragging them thru the mud while tryna paint Clarence as perfect…and there is two sides to every story…sometimes 3 when the kids get old enough to tell it!
Hey @Yvonne…
This broad is a fool really – we all know their business Y tho cuz it’s going to help your case in court – you lost your journal to write about your issues in – I just don’t understand y we know so much of their personal life!
Terri B says:
Bird would you set back and take it if someone limited your time with your kids to just a week within a month just because they felt like it?
*******************************
What?!?! There has to be some kind of order. Does he want to pop up and get the kids on weekdays? Before or after school? He has his son every single weekend from Friday night to Sunday. If I was the non custodial parent I would be cool with that deal. That is the agreement of successful co-parenting. Many court orders make it every two weeks.
Hey, to each his own. I see that the kids are being raised and loved by both parents despite the actions of Melanie, I mean Ashley so its all to the good.
Bird says:I hope Sandra hears from the scum of the earth moms that your husband made babies with soe we can hear a more well rounded story.
————————————————————————-
I’m sure we will
Ok NOW I get what Bird is saying…she threw the other BM’s under the BUS! Talking about them like they trash and chit. Dragging them thru the mud while tryna paint Clarence as perfect…and there is two sides to every story…sometimes 3 when the kids get old enough to tell it!

____________________
Heeeeey Yvonne
Hey Jazzy!
KDub says:
Ok NOW I get what Bird is saying…she threw the other BM’s under the BUS! Talking about them like they trash and chit. Dragging them thru the mud while tryna paint Clarence as perfect…and there is two sides to every story…sometimes 3 when the kids get old enough to tell it!
—–
Interesting point
I agree that she did share a bit more information than I THINK I would have…key word is think b/c you never know until you’re in this situation but it really sounds like she’s at her witts end, wants to help her man and really doesn’t give a shyt at this point.
She seems like a good woman to me.
@ Genia
You think she’s from the south?
And good morning and Happy Friday to all!!
Heeeeeey Jazzy
139 Carrington says:
FoxE says:
I hate JOINT custody!! I think its pointless for the deadbeats (both mother & father) the chance to try to have some say so in the decisions needed to be made for the child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love joint custody, IF it’s going to BE actual JOINT custody, but it’s not “joint” custody to me when what the courts do is basically allow me to “visit” with my child on a certain day, for a specific time-frame. WTF?
What if I’m sick, or having something going on on that ONE Friday of the month? To me, joint custody should be just that – SHARED custody, basically what you’re doing with this specific day of the month shyt is making me a visitor in my child’s life. I don’t want “visitation” with my kid. I WANT to play a role in his life.
~~~~~~~
I had full custody of my kids, there was no visitation schedule. He would call and say he wanted to get the kids on such and such day, no biggie. I thought joint custody now days is for the purpose of having “rights” i.e picking them up from school, taking them to the ER/Dr appt, neither party paying child support….
Hey Jade…
@ OHoney
Hey babe. Where have you been? Should I just start getting use to the fact that you’re only going to pop in and out every now and then???
We didn’t have any custody issues and my son lived with me until he was 12 and then moved in with his DAD I could’ve acted a fool but Y it’s his father and my son adores his DAD
Anna says:
I had full custody of my kids, there was no visitation schedule. He would call and say he wanted to get the kids on such and such day, no biggie. I thought joint custody now days is for the purpose of having “rights” i.e picking them up from school, taking them to the ER/Dr appt, neither party paying child support….
~~~~~~~~
If you have full custody and he ain’t doin $hit except being disruptive, then I understand your point – but if he’s trying to be active, I can see why he’d want a say in whether they move to Vermont when he lives in Vegas.
Bird says: She has kicked the backs in of both moms.
Ashley, congrats girl. Get all the support you need from these folks whose brothers, friends, cousins baby mamas put the dads through hell. I see right through you ma. You are dirty with yours. I hope Sandra hears from the scum of the earth moms that your husband made babies with soe we can hear a more well rounded story.
_______________________________________________________________________
WOW!! but…i didn’t really see where she bashed anyone bird. She was simply stating her perceptional facts.
Choco #159, this right here is my fear. I hope my baby stays with me forever
StillASassyOne says:
@Bird

You seem to really be going hard at Ashley & Clarence. Have you been the “mother” in this situation before or something because I don’t think most folks here are getting out of this what you are.
******************************
No no no. You ain’t heard me say the first negative thing about Clarence. He’s handling his business. Ashley is the one I have a problem with. She’s shady. I wonder how the moms will feel about her being around their kids now. I wonder if the one who let daddy keep the kids while she got back on her feet will cut his visitation down from every weekend to every now and then because if this chick. I have no problems with Clarence other than that he needs to get a handle on his wayward wife.
@ Genia
You think she’s from the south?
not at all…. a southern chick would have made friends with the mother long before it got ugly. a southern girl would have invited the mother over for sunday dinner. and that would have been the end of the chaos…TEAMSOUTHERNGIRLSARESUCHTEAMPLAYERS!!!!
____________________________________________________
I didnt read where she said the other moms were not good moms.
At this time [his son’s mother] has 3 kids (pregnant with one now) and all three fathers are or have petitioned the courts for custody of their children.
________________________
If she is not bashing y does she mention another woman’s children and pregnancy this bish need to stay in her lane and if she’s dealing with a bitter woman WTF does she think is gonna happen now!
Where are the ones who would’ve normally commented 73 times if Sandra had posted something on Beyonce or Barack?
Maybe she’s stepping on some toes – if you can’t say “Amen”, say “ouch”.
@ Choco
You know what I was just talking to my mama about the other day? I was watching Boyx N The Hood and for the first time, after watching the movie a million times, I realized that if two parents are split up and a little boy is involved that the son should probably go live with dad around about the age of 12. this is if he’s a good facther and all of that. the reason me and my mom said that that may be a good idea is b/c the old adage that a woman can’t teach a mna how to be a man is so true in my eyes. Boys try to buck the system at a certain point with their mothers b/c mom is all soft and sweet and love’s the hell out of her little boy (it’s always different with mom and daughter). But boys can’t do that ish with dad. The movie just made me realize that boys really need that one on one with their dad’s at a certain point.
Anyway, I thought it was just funny that you mentioned that after I’d been discussing it recently.
@GEnia they live in ATL though per the other guys comments the AJC wrote an article about their wedding
Choco aka Hippie says:
At this time [his son’s mother] has 3 kids (pregnant with one now) and all three fathers are or have petitioned the courts for custody of their children.
________________________
If she is not bashing y does she mention another woman’s children and pregnancy this bish need to stay in her lane and if she’s dealing with a bitter woman WTF does she think is gonna happen now!
_____________________________________________________________________
OK…OK…THAT was a slight push into on coming traffic…just a lil bit
Carrington says:
Where are the ones who would’ve normally commented 73 times if Sandra had posted something on Beyonce or Barack?
Maybe she’s stepping on some toes – if you can’t say “Amen”, say “ouch”.
————————————————————————
I hate that I love you for this
Genia, your gravi is so cute!
@OHONEY
It was a fear of mine as well but you know what they say you gotta face your fears and actually girl it’s best for my son I can’t teach a man how to be a man and my son is maturing so well so you will be okay when and if it happens TRUST ME ON THAT it’s painful tho but I had to make that sacrifice
Regardless of Ashley’s motive behind sending the email with photos of the family attached, it doesn’t change the fact that there are fathers out here that want to be a part of their child’s life and can’t because of some psycho, vindictive, bitter, mean spirited b!tch made it hard for them. Women like this pisses me off and my sister is one of them too.
Her eldest daughter has sickle cell. Due to my sister not properly keeping the house clean,constantly smoking cigarettes in the house around the child, and not taking her for routine checkups; my niece suffered a mild seizure. During the week and a half my niece was in the hospital, my sister was only there a total of three hours. THREE HOURS!! Truth be told, despite being in school full time, working full time and caring for my own two children; I was up there at the hospital so much the staff thought I was the mother! This spiteful heffa didn’t even call the father (who’s in California) to let him know what’s going on with his own daughter. I had to call!!! After he calmed down, he mentioned how he think it would be best if he got his kids because she seems to have her hands full (there were other issues taking place that I won’t get into here). He fathered 3 out of 6 of her kids. She told him that if he wanted his kids, he has to get the ones he didn’t father too because she doesn’t want them either. WTF!
SnootyPooty1 says:
@GEnia they live in ATL though per the other guys comments the AJC wrote an article about their wedding
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BUT is she SOUTHERN? I want to live in Japan some day, but that wont make me Japanese.
Hey Jazzy! (u know what I’m doing to ur hair right?)
I already spoke to that Ohoney and she wanna be Brand new sooo….
wheres My Candipants today?
(raises eyebrow and gives Coco my best smile),,YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY thank you beautiful lollipop!!
Presenting the truth is not bashing. If she is calling her out of her name or attack her parenting skills then thats bashing…
OHoney says:
Carrington says:
Where are the ones who would’ve normally commented 73 times if Sandra had posted something on Beyonce or Barack?
Maybe she’s stepping on some toes – if you can’t say “Amen”, say “ouch”.
————————————————————————
I hate that I love you for this
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Looks around* Who had said somethin’? LMAO
@Jazzy
You are correct and we prolly typed the comment at the same time I don’t know how to teach my son how to become a MAN and that boy starting bucking with me frequently –
IS THIS WERE THE FIESTA IS AT???
Oh look-it! *motorboats Cocoa* how u be bew?
@Yvonne
I will pray for your sister….
@Genia lol true there is a difference
@Laker
did u watch scurred skraight last night?
Diabla didn’t show up! 
@His my bad mama, I did see you speak but it slipped my mind to speak back I have been actively involved in this post. I did want to mention how pretty you are in that gravi there
I AM SO GLAD THAT FINALLY SOMEONE IS SHEDDING LIGHT ON THIS SITUATION, MANY WOMAN RESORT TO THESE ANTICS WHEN THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS WITH THEIR CHILD’S FATHER
BECAUSE THEY FEEL THREATENED BY THE NEW WOMAN/WIFE AND HATE THE FACT THAT DESPITE THEIR HARSH FEELINGS OR THEIR EXPERIENCE WITH THE MAN-THAT HE HAS IN FACT MOVED ON AND IS VERY HAPPY
AND THEIR ONLY WAY TO FIGHT BACK IS TO USE HIS CHILDREN-TO HURT HIM AND AS A PLOY TO DESTROY THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE NEW WIFE/WOMAN
IT’S IMMATURE, SAD, AND NOT IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN-IT’S ALL ABOUT SPITE AND REVENGE
I KNOW PERSONALLY FIRST HAND, MARRIED IN AUGUST, MY HUSBAND SON IS 12 YRS OLD AND THEY COURT ORDER IS AS THEY AGREE UPON-WHICH MEANS WHENEVER SHE FEELS LIKE IT, AND THAT SEEMS TO BE IF MY HUSBAND IS IN HER GOOD GRACES AND HASN’T PISSED HER OFF; BASICALLY WHATEVER MOOD SHE IS IN
SHE REFUSED TO SIT DOWN WITH BOTH OF US, SEEING THAT I BABYSIT WHILE MY HUSBAND IS @ WORK-BUT IT’S COOL THE DEVIL IS A LIAR, I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT MY HUSBAND SOONER OR LATER SHE WILL REALISE I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE AND STOP THE NONSENSE
@ Genia
Hahahaha! That’s true in some cases. Some of these baby mama’s are crazy for no dang reason and they don’t even want the option of being chummy even if for the kids sake.
She even said she was helping one of the chics out who would fall on hard times and had no car. She didn’t actually say but she may have been giving her money or rides to and from…who knows. I think I sense a little southern blood in ‘ole Ashley. LOL
@YVONNE
IS UR SISTA THINKING I WILL DEFINETLY KEEP HER CHILDREN AND HER IN MY
GOD NEEDS TO WORK ON HER AZZ A LIL BIT MORE!!! AND BABES SO PROUD AND HAPPY THAT LIL MAMA HAS AN AUNTIE LIKE YOU 
@Carrington.
I agree with the whole visitation and shared custody part. Some parents should just trade holidays each year or even come together for the holidays, but we know that won’t happen…Fighting to get more days with your child shouldn’t only be discussed in a mediation hearing, men could always petition to get more time spent with their child. If the moms fail to comply, then they should just simply keep track and file a complaint with the court and make her answer to the judge.
However, I should have have been more specific, I don’t always agree with “Joint Legal Custody”, There is a difference between having Joint Legal Custody and shared (joint) custody between parents.
We have Joint legal custody, and I have physical custody of her while he has visitation. But like I said he’s not active so I would rather me have custody and he can keep his visitation rights.
@ Genia
BUT is she SOUTHERN? I want to live in Japan some day, but that wont make me Japanese.
_________________________________________________________________________
Go to the da**
!!! Just go!!!! *DEAD*
@Choco: Thanks but I don’t think prayer works on that heffa. Well, let’s just say it hasn’t in the last 14 yrs. Prayer, physically laying hands on her,cursing her out, getting the State involved, talking to a psychologist nor popping anti depressants have worked. I’m convinced she’s just a trifling ass woman who popped out kids for the sake of having sh!t to do.
@his
I DID WATCH IT…..UMMM ME AND DIABLA AGREED THAT HALF OF THE MEN IN THERE CAN’T DO SH!T COMPARE TO HER
THEY HAD NOTHING ON THE WOMANS PRISON NOTHING
****finish pen pal lttr to diabla**
is that Ohoney?
@Yvonne
Well then she need the chit slapped out of her again on principle alone
@Instense…exactly and some of them go as far as turning the kids against the new woman/wife.
Genia says:
WOW!! but…i didn’t really see where she bashed anyone bird. She was simply stating her perceptional facts.
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Now you know that a perceptional fact is actually an opinion. I see at the end she has given out her email address so she can help others.
Is she a lawyer? So now we have the first and last name of her, her hubby and his kids and an email address. Sandra did she give you her home address and phone number and the names of the two baby mamas too?
*screams* KINGSTONNNNNNNN it is I ma’am!!!
@Yvonne WOW!
I’m sorry. So.she.said.she.didn’t.want.the.other.kids.either? WOW! :wails: So what’s going to happen?
Henny Blaque says:
@Instense…exactly and some of them go as far as turning the kids against the new woman/wife.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
YES THEY DO TRY, BUT I LUV KIDS, ALL OF THEM EVEN THE BAY BAY ONES, KIDS ARE INNOCENT AND IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT IF THEIR PARENTS BREAK UP
IT’S FRUSTRATING BUT PRAYER HELPS, CAUSE I CAN SUPPORT MY HUSBAND BUT I LET HIM HANDLE THE SITUATION AND LOVE/CARE FOR HIS SON WHENEVER HE’S ALLOWED TO VISIT
@KINGSTON HEY THERE CHICA
IS THAT MY BABY YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!! </
I am sooo blessed to have confidence within my son lives with his dad and his girl and she is the last thing that comes to my mind – they know who MOM is in that house and it’s ME!
DAYUM!!! It is LIKE CHRISTMAS UP IN HERE!!!!! INTENSEMOCHA IS HOME AND SHYT!!!!!!!! MISSED YOU CAPS!!!!
(attempted kiss failed: this is the part where Intense mushes me in the face)
@PEACH THAT LAST COMMMENT WAS FOR UR SEXY AZZ
HOW U BEEN????
Bird says:
Genia says:
WOW!! but…i didn’t really see where she bashed anyone bird. She was simply stating her perceptional facts.
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Now you know that a perceptional fact is actually an opinion.
________________________________________________________________________
I know…
I was just trying to build some leverage for poor Ashley MEDSCHOOL (:rofl:)
@CHOCO HEY ANGEL
HOW U BEE HUN??? SO IM GOING TO MY BRO’S BASKETBALL GAME HE DON’T KNOW IT YET KINDA WANT TO MAKE IT A SURPRISE SINCE I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ONE
WHAT U THINK???
i’ve been good His, today i’m tryna stay and chit chat and not just randomly pop in! bosom’s looking great per usual
@GENIA HEY MAMAS
WHO IS THAT GIVING U A KISS KISS??? #NOSEY 
FoxE says:
Some parents should just trade holidays each year or even come together for the holidays, but we know that won’t happen…Fighting to get more days with your child shouldn’t only be discussed in a mediation hearing, men could always petition to get more time spent with their child. If the moms fail to comply, then they should just simply keep track and file a complaint with the court and make her answer to the judge.
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I wholeheartedly agree! My children’s father and I are very active co-parents. Being the Southern woman that I am (<–see what I did here), I told the kids' father, you don't have to like me but we will get along together for the sake of these children. Yes, you got married and had two more children by that woman. I could care less. Just be sure to give equal treatment and spend the same amount of quality time with my children as you do with hers. Fair is fair. You will not miss one damn parent-teacher conference, football practice or game, basketball practice or game, spelling bee, birthday party or holiday. I give a damn what she has going on! Hell, bring her and the other kids too. I don't give a damn! My kids will look to the stands and your black ass better be there wearing a smile.
He didn't understand the why behind the things I would say or do but now that he's divorced the wife and she's taking him through hell and back, he reflects and now gets my point. It took LOT of work and tongue biting to get to where we are now but I feel it'll be worth it all in the end. Just take the emotion out of the situation and focus on what's really important (the children) and you can't go wrong. It'll all work out….
@Lakes
I think that is great boo and you will enjoy yourself and he will be pleasantly surprised Im excited for you
Sandra, since all these folks are in Atlanta, I know the mamas are going to hear about this story and be in touch. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
post their letters. I can see this getting messy which is the real reason I actually come here. Hook a sista up.
@Yvonne
I agree don’t make it about you or how you feel – now do you want your x back? Just asking
So my question is why write to Sandra Rose about your long custody battle. Is she just a stepping stone to a larger media outlet?? This would actually be a great topic for someone like Oprah or Nightline.
I love Sandra but I don’t get it.
I also don’t get how a police officer would allow someone to remove your child that youve been taken care of for six years from your home just because she was the momma. She’s not the custodial parent. This is what Amber alerts are for.
@Intense: Continue to stand by your husband. He needs all your support because these situations aren’t easy at all. Keep hitting her (no pun intended) with logic when conflict arises and eventually she’ll come around. Been there, done that! Five years from now you guys can sit and talk about how dumb it all was……
DAYUM!!! It is LIKE CHRISTMAS UP IN HERE!!!!! INTENSEMOCHA IS HOME AND SHYT!!!!!!!! MISSED YOU CAPS!!!! (attempted kiss failed: this is the part where Intense mushes me in the face)
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LOL-just for you being kind (4 a nano second) I’m responding in lower case MUAH back at ya! No mushing for me today
take note-no caps for intense, yall probably won’t recognize me:)
@Choco: HELL NO!! I don’t want that sucka back.
Oh and someone said I might be like the baby mamas. Nope. My oldest (who is 19) now lives with her dad who was absent for most of her life except on the rare occasions when I could hunt him down over the years. I have never held a grudge against him. I am super cool with my little one’s dad and his wife. They live in another city so they don’t get to see her very often, but when she goes its normally for an extended period. Over holiday breaks and several weeks in the summer. I realize they got lucky with me. I’m a very easy going person who prefers to accept people the way they are and learn to work with that rather than battling against it.
@Yvonne
does he want you back at one point I thought I wanted my son’s father back and then my headache went away 
aiiite Ma sheesh
intensemocha says:
LOL-just for you being kind (4 a nano second) I’m responding in lower case MUAH back at ya! No mushing for me today
take note-no caps for intense, yall probably won’t recognize me:)
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WTF!?! You goin soft woman?
i read a few of the comments…one in particular “what/which is a dead beat father”. I would have to say any male that refuse, dismisses or plain out says f**k my child…is a dead beat. it goes far beyond the money. Any woman (Myself included) will make a way (or learn to) for their own. Period. Kuddos to this brother for being one of few to step up and do whats right.
I am in a situation where i am the one always being attacked–and it is truly for no reason. i left an abusive situation years ago, and every since the guy has tried to bring me down. We have even gone to court numerous timees and the judge would ask me, ma’am are you denying visitation? As always I would answer no…then just like the times before, this fool would say well, he wasn’t able to go pick up my child OR he had some business to take care…it was always some random bullsh*t excuse. I HAVE NEVER tried to keep my child away from their other family. It just always seemed to be some different excuse. He sends money to child support whenever he feels like it. literally. He has called me, his newest girlfriend has also called me–my job and personal number, threatening me that they would take my son away and threatening me about keeping my job b/c they would **their words not mine** “call my job and blow this motherf-er up”. smdh
there isnt much I can do. i have called the cops, even told the judge…they don’t give a f*ck. All the courts want is cash. After so many failed attempts to come and pick up my child, the no calling unless he feel like it, not answering when my child calls him…My child has basically built a wall and it is sad to see. i know that my child is hurting on the inside, but what can I do? I just keep him close to me, talk to my child, and I keep it real. what ever my child wants to discuss with me I am open. But it is sad to see ANY PARENT go thru this mess. Not just the “good brother”, hell the “Super-Moms” too. this is only a chip off, a chip of an iceberg. This fool has tormented me for too long. i just let it go. i can provide on my own…no matter how much this as*hole threatens me. I know that a woman cant truly raise a man, but Im gonna do what I can! It truly is sad…but you gotta pick up your face and keep it moving. The worst thing about it is that my child “doesnt want to be bothered anymore with him”–their words not mine. lmao–YES it is funny now, b/c i have seen the heartbreak of my child.
I agree with Genia and Snooty.
There was never an issue with the child being in the father’s physical custody until the wedding day popped up. This bird didn’t all of a sudden get her life together less than a week before their wedding day. Shoot, the child was probably going to be the ring bearer and she was being a hater. LOL! Sad, dysfunctional bishes these day.
Also, the story didn’t say that he stopped letting her see the son; it said that they stopped helping her out…whether that is taking the child to her, helping her with food, giving her a ride to get money off of her EBT card, taking her to her prenatal appointments for the other children that she can’t provide for, etc., wasn’t specified.
yvonne79 says:
@Intense: Continue to stand by your husband. He needs all your support because these situations aren’t easy at all. Keep hitting her (no pun intended) with logic when conflict arises and eventually she’ll come around. Been there, done that! Five years from now you guys can sit and talk about how dumb it all was……
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Thanks it’s tough, but just a test-since we’ve been married the only major issue we’ve had to deal with! It’s all just a test, it will soon blow over, I’m praying-not interested in having beef with a woman that i don’t even know or never have done anything to, at least not in “real” life-LOL life too short, it’s important we all get along for his my husband and his son’s sake, and our family is very important to me and my #1 priority!
@MOO
Please continue to keep your faith and your strength and thank you for sharing your story.
intensemocha says:
LOL-just for you being kind (4 a nano second) I’m responding in lower case MUAH back at ya! No mushing for me today
take note-no caps for intense, yall probably won’t recognize me:)
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WTF!?! You goin soft woman?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
@ Bird you know better than that, my lower case stunt will last all of a nano second, trust me it’ll be back, just making nice
@Choco: At one point, he did want me back and I was considering working it out. I just couldn’t get past the fact that he cheated on me and got another woman pregnant. That was too much for me. Anyway, it was right after the break up, about four months into his new relationship. He gave me an ultimatum; either get back with him and we get married or he’ll marry her. Me being the stubborn heffa that I am, I told him to marry her. And he eventually did. To be honest, I was happy for him. Ultimately, my children’s father and I could never be together because there is just some things that are unforgivable in my book. I won’t go into detail but he took me through un-necessary drama just because I didn’t want to be with him.
@Yvonne
I can’t deal with a cheater either some things I can’t overlook and cheating is a HUGE NO in my book
@PEACH **GENTLY REMOVES PASTIES WITH LIPS AND GIVES THE GIRLS A LICK**
WERE U BEEN??? I HATE POST HOPING AND SANDRA JUST GOT ANOTHER POST 
Also, my brother went through a similar situation but there was no other woman involved. After he and the mother broke up, because she was abusive in any way you can imagine, she wouldn’t let him see his son. He went to court to get visitation rights and agreed to pay child support (which he has done and still does to this day) and she still won’t let him see his son. He has gone over to her house (lives with her parents) on the days when he was supposed to have his son and either they don’t answer, are not there, or say his son isn’t there.
She told her son that he was dead. My brother even went one day (with court papers in hand) to see his son, and the mother’s parents told him that if he didn’t get away from their door, they would have him arrested for trespassing. Since he has a minor conviction, he left. He has sent birthday cards, Christmas cards, etc. for years and he doesn’t know what to do.
This was in the 90’s. Fast forward to today, the child is now 17. Family members found him on myspace three years ago and reached out telling him that we are his family, that my brother has been trying to see him, etc., but he doesn’t reply. We even sent him his father’s phone number telling him to reach out to him. My brother started a myspace page just to reach out to him, and no response was ever received. These days he has facebook account, and he seems troubled. He will add us, but not really speak to us. His mother has been a stripper, on drugs, etc., to the point where an ex-boyfriend came and talked to my mother and told him the deets and that we need to get custody. Now my bro is STILL paying his child support, his child is staying with his grandparents and the mom is in and out, and his son wants nothing to do with him. #thepowerofabitterbish
Sorry for the long read…but I’m passionate about bs like this
Genia says:
@ Genia
You think she’s from the south?
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not at all…. a southern chick would have made friends with the mother long before it got ugly. a southern girl would have invited the mother over for sunday dinner. and that would have been the end of the chaos…TEAMSOUTHERNGIRLSARESUCHTEAMPLAYERS!!!!
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I don’t think being from the south has anything to do with it. I’m not from the south and from the beginning I wanted to build a relationship with my step daughters mother. Mostly because I had a step mother and her and my bio mother did not get along and I want better for my daughter than I had. From the time my daughter was 1 up until her current age of 5 her mother has been nothing but a headache! She loves me when she needs me to do something for her (e.g help with birthday parties…rides when her car is broken down…etc) but i’m a B**** every six months when things in her life are not going right and she wants to cause discord in our home. The crazy thing is she acts like she hates me yet… we NEVER see each other, we don’t talk on the phone EVER, and we don’t share the same friends. So I say all that to say… A lot of times the bio mom does not want to be friends with tne “new” woman or the wife simply because there are things about herself that she is not happy with or there are things going on in her life that she wishes were different…sometimes a woman just does not want to see her child loving another woman who is not her.
Although there are some days when I truly hate my step daughters mother I always try to put myself in her shoes and think how would I feel if I had a child who loves another woman as her mother… I know that has to be a hard pill to swallow… but all in the same breath I can’t imagine trying to make someone eles life miserable just because i’m not happy with my current situation.
Although I think the pictures could have been left out… I really appreciate her writing in telling her story… I know I can only speak for myself but it feels good to know that other people can understand your struggle and what you have to deal with on a day to day. You can google “dead beat dad” and a million articles will show up…but try and google “great fathers who have custody” and I doubt you’ll get what you’re looking for.
BTW…i’m new here!
@Yep
Sorry to hear of your brother saga and the pain it is causing your family
**sorry, i skipped quite a few of the comments**
I understand where Bird is coming from but not necessarily in this case. It burns me up when fathers want the father of the year award for doing what they are supposed to do. I had that situation with my daughter’s dad. I never asked nor expected any recognition for being “a good mom”, I just did what I was supposed to do for her.
But on the flip side, there are way to many cases where the mothers are granted rights simply because they birthed the child(ren). Females need to put their personal feelings about the man aside and focus on the kids. My daughter’s dad and I had problems. His current wife used to be the other woman. But now, she’s stepmom. I respect her and I make darn sure my daughter respects her. If I have any concerns as far as my feeling are concerned, I address that with him and his wife but it DOES NOT interfere with our parenting. We don’t need to go to court to decide how, when, if he can see his child. He helped create her, he should help raise her. Anything involving her I keep him and his wife informed. I never put a price tag on visitation and time. And honestly, I want to make sure my child has a relationship with her dad. Some women (and men) need to get themselves together before deciding to have children.
jazzyiest says:
@ Choco
You know what I was just talking to my mama about the other day? I was watching Boyx N The Hood and for the first time, after watching the movie a million times, I realized that if two parents are split up and a little boy is involved that the son should probably go live with dad around about the age of 12. this is if he’s a good facther and all of that. the reason me and my mom said that that may be a good idea is b/c the old adage that a woman can’t teach a mna how to be a man is so true in my eyes. Boys try to buck the system at a certain point with their mothers b/c mom is all soft and sweet and love’s the hell out of her little boy (it’s always different with mom and daughter). But boys can’t do that ish with dad. The movie just made me realize that boys really need that one on one with their dad’s at a certain point.
Anyway, I thought it was just funny that you mentioned that after I’d been discussing it recently.
________________________________________________________________________
MESSAGE
Wow….my words have already been spoken. But I see another Minnesotian up in here somewhere …..braving the cold….with that said…fathers rights in MN do suck.
shout out to them!!
I have a set of 4mth old twins who’s dad see his other two children everyday, picks them and drop them off from school and daycare along with their mother. Now mind you they are in the same zipcode, he doesnt come and get the twins or barely spends time with them because all of a sudden he just dont want to deal with me anymore, mind you I was off and on with this guy for many of years. I am not a bitter mother, I want my twins to know their dad and other brothers but I dont know what to do, we had a court date on JAN 19TH & he decided not to show up!! Mind you I work, he doesnt want to do anything to help me, I want to stop all contact with him because I dont want them to have a part time dad,its not their fault he moved on with his other kids mom & now he cant figure out what to do, I just put it in gods hands …
I feel sorry for the men who actually want to be apart of the kids life and go through this…Shame Shame Shame
Carrington says:
Where are the ones who would’ve normally commented 73 times if Sandra had posted something on Beyonce or Barack?
Maybe she’s stepping on some toes – if you can’t say “Amen”, say “ouch”.
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I was thinking the same thing. I notice QUITE a few faces missing. Smh
Damn this is all so terrible. i guess we all need to vent at some point..BUT please dont dwell on the bullsh*t. it gives the negative too much power and takes power away where it needs to be guided..into the children. I love my child, @ALBOY…and my child is at that stage. Its almost like a cross road. Do i be a man now without my dad or what? i am trying to give him that freedom to make his own decisions, but truly he needs his dad. i have good influences around us to help with these things…but nobody can take the place of your parent.
@Choco
Thanks hun! I’m hoping that one day he’ll come around since he’s almost of age. My brother was one who lost hope and actually did say “f*&# it” after so long. He tried forever, but the courts would do nothing. Still, I know it is still eating him up.
I feel for the father. You do have a lot of bitter women out here who do things to spite the father. I wish my child’s father was more like this man. He has nothing to do with my child!! Good luck to them and I hope things will work in his favor!
@ flawless001– i feel your pain
@Yep
The kid will come around I have a feeling he will….
Newbie, wow this story is a sad one. But hate to say it, thats what happens, to many fathers not stepping up to the plate. And now society looks at them, like their no good when there are good men out there, that take care of their kids. I’m dealing with that with my bf, I had my baby in October, she found out had a fit, but she is young so I blame it on that, her mind is not all there. She said she was going to tell her daughter her father doesn’t love her, she stopped him from seeing her. She, then went on to say she didn’t want her daughter around my kids which are both his. Females are trifling, but this is a lesson to all you men out there, know who your laying down with before getting females pregnant. In my Jamaican voice tell lef di dutty gyal dem alone.
@Flaw Your story is saddening and I pray things turn in your favor
I can relate! >:(
Wow this story is just sad. The mother of his son is wanting to keep her son now that he got married out of spite and that is just plain dirty!!!
In my Stank Breath, just waking up voice, while scratching my ass. “Whats good ya’ll?”
Good read
@Choco
Im hoping that he will based on the fact that he wouldn’t accept our friend requests unless he is curious. At this point, he knows who we are from previous encounters. Then I think about the fact that we haven’t seen him since he was three or four years old. Im holding out hope though.
Bless you and ur family, love!
@Bird if you love someone u hurt when they hurt. His wife knew he had kids before they got married and involved. Its true a lot of women will hold on to a man through there children and its not fair! There is so many women bitter and angry its sickening!I c it all day everyday, u cant keep a child away because his not paying child support or he has another women. if u look at it that’s support when they pick them up and spend time with them. I think u need to read the story again!
Genia says:
@ Genia
You think she’s from the south?
____________________________________________________
not at all…. a southern chick would have made friends with the mother long before it got ugly. a southern girl would have invited the mother over for sunday dinner. and that would have been the end of the chaos…TEAMSOUTHERNGIRLSARESUCHTEAMPLAYERS!!!!
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My daughters’ step mother and I put our differences aside about two years after they married (some ten years ago). We’ve been shopping together; I’ve hung out at her sister’s house for a girls night. Even his son’s mother is cool with us. One time we all (the wife, his son’s mother and I) were having dinner while laughing and sipping on our drinks enjoying ourselves. The waitress made a comment about us being friends or something. I said we’re not really friends; we have children by her husband (son’s mother & I both pointed to the wife). Trust and believe DON’T NOBODY WANT HIM BUT HIS WIFE.
Our children are VERY close and don’t refer to each other as half siblings. They love each other as if they all came out of the same womb and were raised in the same house. It took a minute for us to get there but we put our differences aside for the sake of the kids.
It’s truly unfortunate that Ashley and the Mothers don’t get along.
flsun99 says:
Genia says:
@ Genia
You think she’s from the south?
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not at all…. a southern chick would have made friends with the mother long before it got ugly. a southern girl would have invited the mother over for sunday dinner. and that would have been the end of the chaos…TEAMSOUTHERNGIRLSARESUCHTEAMPLAYERS!!!!
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My daughters’ step mother and I put our differences aside about two years after they married (some ten years ago). We’ve been shopping together; I’ve hung out at her sister’s house for a girls night. Even his son’s mother is cool with us. One time we all (the wife, his son’s mother and I) were having dinner while laughing and sipping on our drinks enjoying ourselves. The waitress made a comment about us being friends or something. I said we’re not really friends; we have children by her husband (son’s mother & I both pointed to the wife). Trust and believe DON’T NOBODY WANT HIM BUT HIS WIFE.
Our children are VERY close and don’t refer to each other as half siblings. They love each other as if they all came out of the same womb and were raised in the same house. It took a minute for us to get there but we put our differences aside for the sake of the kids.
It’s truly unfortunate that Ashley and the Mothers don’t get along.
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Now that’s a beautiful thing. Ashley and Clarence will be married for a yr. on Valentines day, it’s going to take time for them to “want” to get along for the kids sake. It is possible though.
This really makes me feel a type of way…I’m sooooo touched by this…because as a child, all I can remember is wanting to be with my dad because he was so cool to me. Unfortunately he had another agenda. Luckily I had an amazing stepdad who showed me what a real man was…which is prolly why I’m a now carpet-muncher…I doubt another man like my stepdad exists on this earth…although Clarence sounds damn close!
All I can say is he may not come when you want him…but he’s always on time!!!!
It’s about the kids:
This has always been the case. I had a similar experience during the early 90s. Yes, you can do it yourself, but I had a lawyer at the time. However, I taught my brother how to get custody of his kids without an attorney. He/we were successful!!
It’s like the justice system (white folks) wants our communities to fail. And, we are willing to sacrifice our kids on a stage which we don’t belong. We should never have to fight in front of courts/whites about our kid. We should always find a way to work it out. It is basically slavery all over again. The slaves are arguing on behalf of their slave masters’. Let the bidding wars commence!! Meanwhile, as you fight it out in the courts the kids are hurting, your immediate families are hurting and our communities are devastated by this.
I was granted custody of both kids and we haven’t looked back since. The mother realized that at the time, I was the best parent for the kids. It took her about two years for her to be at ease about the courts decision; however, we haven’t had any trouble since that day.
It’s about the kids; not the adults.
the easiest thing to do is for a woman to put a man on child support–any man, doesn’t even have to be the father, just SAY he is.
the hardest thing to do is for a man to get custody of his child. i mean, a father should automatically get joint physical and legal custody. however, that’s not the case. he has to FIGHT for any type of custody.
and east bought up a little known fact about income modifications. if you have never been in the system, you have no idea how ridiculous it is. i think there is a movement afloat to try to change some things to make it more equal but it’s going to take a long time.
I hate it when women like the ones mentioned mess up the right for their children to have a relationship ith their father because some man did not want them. I will say this, men u have to be careful who u lay down with. If she was trife outside the sheets and gave u trouble while you were together, imagine the foolishness she will cause when u decide to leave her. Unfortunately unstable women go for the juggular which is the children. Be wise when it comes to who u date. That goes for everyone, just remember who u lay daown with may become a parent to your child, then decide if you want to still go for it.
I am not surprised by this story.. whoever thinks that women can’t be as malicious and shiesty as a man can be is naive. I do feel sad for him.. but worse for the children.. I will never understand a woman who doesn’t want the father in a child’s life, especially when they want to be there. It literally makes no sense.. there are sooo many women who need a man like this..