Love vs. Dopamine (Lust for Love)

If you have an addictive personality (like Rihanna above), then this post is not for you. A new post will be up in a few moments.

This post is for you single women who are intelligent, articulate and self-confident. But despite all of your achievements in life, you wonder why love hasn’t found you. But in reality, love is all around you. Love is an action, not a feeling. Love is a profound sense of responsibility and respect for another human being. So when you care for anyone in your life; your parents, your siblings, your nephews — you are experiencing love.

LOVE IS NOT SEX. No matter what that guy tells you; you do not prove your love to anyone by having sex with them!

So how can you tell the difference between Love vs Lust (Dopamine)?

Picture this: you’re a single woman, intelligent, articulate, self-supporting. You have your own place, your car is paid off. You have a good job. You just don’t have a man to share your life with, and you’re tired of your girlfriends reminding you of that.

One night, while out clubbing with your girlfriends, you meet a handsome man in the club. He seems too good to be true. He winks and smiles at you. He comes over and introduces himself to you and your friends. He buys you and your girls a round of drinks. But it is obvious that he is really only interested in you. After some small talk, he asks you for your number. When he calls you the next day, you like the fact that he kept his word to call you. He’s a good conversationalist. He sounds interesting on the phone. You want to get to know him better in person. He asks you out on a date. You quickly accept. Your date goes well. He makes you laugh and you feel at ease in his presence.

He says all the right things. He picks up the check for the dinner. He walks you to your car. He’s a gentleman. His smile makes you melt. You want to see him again. You can’t wait for his next phone call. The next day, when he does call, you feel giddy inside, you feel elated. A warm euphoria sweeps over you when he compliments you. You can’t get enough of him.

On your next date, you feel comfortable enough to accept his invitation to accompany him to his apartment, where you both have wild, passionate sex — with a condom, of course. You can’t believe how in tune he is with your body. He touches you in places you never thought existed.

Within a month, you’re already making plans to spend the rest of your life with him. You begin tossing hints at him that you “want more from the relationship.” You practically sit by the phone waiting for him to call. You can’t stop talking about him to your girlfriends. “HE’S THE ONE,” you tell them. You’re unable to put a name to what you’re feeling since you’ve never felt it before. So you assume you are in love.

You are wrong.

All of the feelings and emotions that I have just described are the result of what is called a Dopamine Rush. By now, you should be pregnant, but he used a condom. Nature has been foiled, you are not pregnant and the “gentleman” is gone. He got what he wanted. He’s moved on to his next target.

Why is that we women get so caught up in our emotions once the Dopamine starts flowing in our brains? It is because our primary purpose on this earth is to be fruitful and multiply.

But human beings are complex organisms with the ability to make decisions and choices, which makes us stubborn about who we have sex with. So in order to break down our sexual inhibitions, and to make sex happen fairly quickly, Dopamine was introduced into our brain chemistry around the start of the Stone Age.

Dopamine, along with other sensitive brain chemicals, targets the pleasure center in our brains. It’s Nature’s way of reminding us what pleases us, so that when we experience a certain trigger again, we will want more of it.

Dopamine is the science behind all addictions caused by “triggers” that elicit favorable responses from us. Triggers are substances or things such as drugs, food, alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate, coffee, sex, men, women, etc.

When we have sex with someone that we like, Dopamine begins to flow and we want him more. It’s the same with drugs and alcohol.

So why is it that hookers, gold diggers and strippers seem to be immune to the effects of Dopamine? Why don’t they form deep, personal attachments to every man that they have sex with? It’s because the trigger for hookers, strippers and other sex workers is money — not sex or passion.

Sex workers — like drug dealers — understand the power of what they’re selling. The drug dealer’s proverb: “Don’t get high on your own supply,” applies to dealing with intense feelings too.

In other words, control the Dopamine, don’t let it control you!

Yes, ladies, it is possible to like a man, and to even have sex with him, without falling in love and losing yourself in him or her.

Dopamine has destroyed many lives, either through marriage (which often ends in divorce), or through addictions to drugs and alcohol.

When we’re under the effects of Dopamine, we don’t think clearly. Dopamine is as powerful as any street drug. If you understand the powerful effects of Dopamine — and how it can abruptly change your life — you can better control it.

So how do you know if it’s true love and not Dopamine? The answer is to have patience and wait.

Dopamine makes you blind and deaf to his BS! But if you give it time and wait; eventually, the Dopamine will stop flowing and your senses will become clear again.

A mother carries a baby for 9 months until she finally gives birth. This is the only time in life when the words “love at first sight” holds any true meaning.

Remember: it is impossible to form a deep, personal attachment to a man you have just met. Even moms “know” their babies for 9 months before they give birth and fall in love.

So if you meet a man, and within 2 months you begin making plans to spend your lives together because you think you’re in love — you are sadly mistaken. If it takes a new mom 9 months to form an attachment to her baby, it should take you that long, or longer, to form an attachment to a man (or to a woman).

In the meantime, while you’re in the Dopamine rush phase, you do NOT make any life altering plans with him or her! If you can, hold off on having sex until you no longer experience the hot, intense feelings for him or her. If you wait to have sex and he or she waits with you, then love has a better chance of developing between the two of you.

So let’s go back to that night in the club when you met that handsome guy.

After some small talk, he asks you for your number. When he calls you the next day, you like the fact that he is a good conversationalist. He sounds interesting. You want to get to know him better. He asks you out on a date, you quickly accept. Your date goes well. He makes you laugh and you feel at ease in his presence. He says all the right things. He’s a gentleman. His smile makes you melt. You want to see him again. You can’t wait for his next phone call. The next day, when he does call — you don’t answer.

That’s right: you let that phone ring. And when he calls you a few hours later, you look at the caller ID and you go back to doing what you were doing without answering the phone. In fact, you don’t answer the phone and you don’t call him for 2 weeks!

Now YOU are in control of the powerful drug called Dopamine. After 2 weeks of non-contact, the Dopamine will stop flowing and your senses will become clear again. You will remember that while he was talking to you in the club that night, he was glancing at one of your girlfriends, but you ignored those glances because you were in denial.

You will remember that when he bought that round of drinks for you and your girls, he asked one your friends what she preferred to drink, but he didn’t ask you. You will realize that he was testing all of you to see which one of you was the easiest. He chose you as his easy target.

Don’t assume that because you haven’t spoken to him in 2 weeks that he will find another woman. He probably already had another woman when you met him. A man who is bold enough to approach you in a club and ask you for your number is experienced at approaching women. You aren’t the first woman he has approached, and you won’t be the last!



 


176 Responses to “Love vs. Dopamine (Lust for Love)”

  1. 1
    Posche says:

    This is very enlightening Sandra, thanks!

  2. 2
    The Makeup Maven says:

    YOU BETTA PREACH SANDRA! SCHOOL THESE YOUNGIN’S! :applause:

  3. 3
    lovezoe says:

    :coffee:

  4. 4
    The Makeup Maven says:

    :coffee: <— MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS

  5. 5
    prynsexxx says:

    GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY :hi: :yahoo:

    :whistle:

    [Birds singin’, snorin’, roster crowin’, and an alarm clock]

    Wake up, wake up, wake up it’s the 1st of the month
    To get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up

  6. 6
    prynsexxx says:

    @Tatted :2dance: <——- the bow is really a grip of "1st of da monf" bills to be paid

  7. 7
    vero says:

    Can I get some of dat :coffee:

    Thank you Sandra. One more article I have to translate for that ‘friend’ :rolleyes:

    Morning Zoe, Posche :bye:

  8. 8
    vero says:

    Tatted :happy: <== not dancing no damn mariachi. Dancing some Zouk (google it) :lol:

  9. 9
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    I see were the lurkers get BITTER… WHO :coffee:

  10. 10
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Pryn :2dance: <– REALLY A DOUBLE DOSE OF DOPAMINE!

    CMB Baby, CMB Pryn (WE ALL WE GOT)

  11. 11
    YSoSrs says:

    Interesting… :think:

  12. 12
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SIS – I :heart: you, yo! I MEAN A GREAT DEAL TO ME! YA HEARD!

  13. 13
    lovezoe says:

    Morning vero!! I am so excited that it is MARCH!! Baby due this month and hubby comes home next month. Woot woot!!!

  14. 14
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Vero – I know what Zouk is boo! :lol: IF I NEED TO DANCE TO YOUR CULTURE, YOU NEED TO DANCE TO PARTLY MINE! :coffee:

  15. 15
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Sis – I mean, you mean a great deal to me! :ashamed:

  16. 16
    lexdiamonz says:

    :rofl: @ this post…..

  17. 17
    The Makeup Maven says:

    <— KNOWS COT DAYUM WELL I SPOKE TO ZOE ZOE ON THE PREVIOUS THREAD!
    :wail:

  18. 18
    screwball69 says:

    Posts like these. This why I respect you, Sandra. Use that brain to enlighten your people :yahoo:

    :waiting: Tatted, Hershey, 405, YSO, Fefe, y’all are all on my list for ignoring me all day yesterday.

    Only Fay Fay (My Bay Bay) and Kahn took the time to talk to me. :wail:

  19. 19
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    Sis AWWWWW :2dance: love ya too!!

  20. 20
    NaijaGal says:

    So we should play games Sandra?

  21. 21
    The Makeup Maven says:

    Screw, Lex, YSO :hug: X’s 3

  22. 22
    screwball69 says:

    Vero :yahoo::nono: I take that back… and.you.know.why

  23. 23
    lovezoe says:

    @Tatted0 Me so sorry!!! You know I LOVES me some Tatted :heart: :heart:

  24. 24
    The Makeup Maven says:

    :offtopic: <— REALLY SAYS ON TOPIC!

    Don't you hate when a person learns a new word and then they azz can't stop using it, like D_pa_ _ ne??!! :thinking:

  25. 25
    vero says:

    :rofl: @tatted. you caught me. Ok then.. (really :rolleyes:

    :hug: Yso and everyone

  26. 26
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ ZoeZoe – Okay, now I can say what I really wanted to say to you….

    :yahoo: THE BABY IS DUE THIS MONTH, THE BABY IS DUE! :yahoo:

  27. 27
    TiFan4Lyfe says:

    :coffee:

  28. 28
    screwball69 says:

    The Makeup Maven says:

    Screw, Lex, YSO X’s 3 :hug:
    ____________________________________________

    Is it love or just the dopamine? :love: :hahaha:

  29. 29
    cheeks8683 says:

    :ghost: u have been working on this one for a while huh auntie? :yes:

  30. 30
    candibfly says:

    screw love *throws my printer thru a window*

    anyway, morning all #pleasantries :coffee:

  31. 31
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Vero – Dayum, you still :rolleyes: at me?? We ain’t gon NEVA EVA move pass this?? :crying1:

  32. 32
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    GOOODDDDDAAAAAAMNNNNNNN, THIS WAS A LONG AZZ POST!!!!

    Put my speed-reading skills to SERIOUS work!

    I liked it though! I don’t agree with the “wait 2 weeks” though. I would like to think most women aren’t totally enthralled with a guy after a drink and a date, no?

    That may be just me though… I do have the aptitude to be a cold, heartless bish so….ehh. :shrug:

  33. 33
    The Makeup Maven says:

    :dead: @ Screw! It’s the dopamine you feeling, boo! :lol:

  34. 34
    vero says:

    :kiss: Screw/ what did i do? :lol:

  35. 35
    screwball69 says:

    Laker. How’s it out in Cali this morning? It’s raining over here on the East Coast but we alive and well. :yahoo:

  36. 36
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Sandra
    You’ve been working on this post since last night, huh? Bet your azz aint got NO SLEEP!

  37. 37
    The Makeup Maven says:

    SASS – I got at’chu on the otha post! Just saying hi!

    BTW – I had to read the above like I read shorthand and shyt! :lol:

  38. 38
    lovezoe says:

    @Tatted- I am so excited AND scared!!!

  39. 39
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Tatted
    I’ll take “dopamine” for $200, Tatted. :coffee:

  40. 40
    candibfly says:

    i’ll get my love advice from elsewhere tho :no:

  41. 41
    vero says:

    Tatted, you know i Dopamine you from the bottom of my heart :rofl:

  42. 42
    Sandra Rose says:

    Thanks @ Posche and The Makeup Maven! At Tatted: this is more for the heterosexuals than for us. We lesbuns are immune to the BS! :thumbsup:

  43. 43
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Tatted
    Oh, sorry! :waves: :hug: Girl…that shorthand wasn’t cutting it. :lol:

  44. 44
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SASS-A-FRASS *hands over $200* SHYT, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE MORE HARD TO FIGURE THAT OUT! :lol:

  45. 45
    vero says:

    :yahoo: @Zoe. i’m excited for you too !
    Sassy, I left you a very short message in the MJ post :coffee:

  46. 46

    This is a awesome word Sandra :hug:

  47. 47
    screwball69 says:

    candibfly says:

    screw love *throws my printer thru a window*
    anyway, morning all #pleasantries :coffee:
    _________________________________________
    I re-read this like five times trying to see who you said my name like that. Then I realized that you weren’t talking to me. :hahaha:

    Good Morning purrty lady. :hug:

  48. 48
    Sandra Rose says:

    lovezoe says:

    Morning vero!! I am so excited that it is MARCH!! Baby due this month and hubby comes home next month. Woot woot!!!
    ————–

    Congrats! You’re getting a double dose of real love this month! :clap:

  49. 49
    prynsexxx says:

    Tatted says:

    Don’t you hate when a person learns a new word and then they azz can’t stop using it, like D_pa_ _ ne??!!
    ______________________

    ..or Nar________? <— yeah THAT word.

    *I'd like to buy a vowel, please*

  50. 50
    cheeks8683 says:

    I agree with taking your time though…Most of these men that have no quams about approaching a group of women usually do it as a second career. Now if you are really feeling a dude there is nothing wrong with keepingin contact but dont be all clingy about it. Continue to make plans with friends and etc. If you are busy, don’t drop everything to hang with him…One thing I KNOW, men can smell a needy women and they may partake in the festivities but he will quickly get bored. I applaud ur essay tho…there is some truth to it…

  51. 51
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Sandra – You betta know it! AWWWW, COME HERE AND GIVE ME A :hug: ! You remember that Makeup Maven was TATTED….AND THAT’S ME! :hug:

  52. 52
    AWESOME says:

    Morning All.

    Candi :kiss:

    @Tatted
    I used to mess with this chick that said “quite” all the time like “It’s quite cold outside” and “Let’s get something to eat, I’m quite hungry”.
    :shotsfired: <– my ears

  53. 53
    vero says:

    Sandra, really i LOVE this post though !! thank you :hug:

  54. 54
    YSoSrs says:

    <—A hetero that is also immune to the BS.

    :hugs: and :kiss: @SCREW & VERO

    That is not the dopamine typing either.

  55. 55
    vero says:

    :dead: again @Samyell’s gravi :crying:

  56. 56
    lovezoe says:

    Aww thanks Sandra!!

    :offtopic: Anyone watch Top Model last night?

  57. 57
    candibfly says:

    awesome :wave: <— items in my victoria secret cart that i ain't wanna pay $14 shipping charges for

    fugg u been yo?!

  58. 58
    FeFe says:

    :dead: @ this topic…I think you’re making some good points Sandra, I just think you DRAMATIZED them… :lol:

    Morning everyone! :waves:

  59. 59
    Sandra Rose says:

    Thans @ screwball69 :)

  60. 60
    Detective Iheart says:

    Ma ma ma MAWNING :yahoo: :danban:
    SKA-RHEW :hugs: I did speak to you yestaday boo

  61. 61
    screwball69 says:

    vero says:

    :kiss: Screw/ what did i do? :lol:
    ___________________________________________
    You know. :yes: Don’t act oblivious as to what I see with them 3 teefs looking like NeNe Leakes by the mouth before her $50,000 veneers. :hahaha:

  62. 62
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    Screw it’s warm in Dallas… I wish I was back in cali.. :cry:

  63. 63
    candibfly says:

    gonna sprinkle some dopamine in my turkey burgers tonight :lol:

    #wordoftheday
    #trytouseitinasentence

  64. 64
    Sandra Rose says:

    candibfly says:

    i’ll get my love advice from elsewhere tho
    ______________

    Don’t think of it as “love advice.” Think of it as common sense so you don’t fall so easily for slick talking dudes. :)

  65. 65
    prynsexxx says:

    Screwball says:

    I re-read this like five times
    ___________________________

    :blink: FORREAL! Who has that much time in a day? Sandra wrote the whole book of Psalms (the P don’t be silent). LOL

  66. 66
    £ the commenter formally known as Hershey says:

    @ Screw :love: you bew and umm in the fewcha, don’t be puttin me on blast this early in the Ay Em

    Hola erbotty :waves:

  67. 67
    Shuga Honey says:

    Two weeks before returning a call?? Umm…yeah ok.

    You putting the pussy on a pedastal. If you wanna f*ck then f*ck. If you want to have a good conversation then pick up the dam phone. A dude can still leave you high and dry (puns intended) after two weeks, two months, two years or two decades. My thing is–if you are going to be stupid please hurry up and let me know so we can both move on. So what if he got in my draws. I got in his too! Fair exchange is no robbery.

  68. 68
    Sandra Rose says:

    FeFe says:

    @ this topic…I think you’re making some good points Sandra, I just think you DRAMATIZED them…
    ————–

    Exactly. I had to write the post so that people will get it and start thinking about their own situations. :lol:

  69. 69
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    Candi with bacon? :yes:

  70. 70
    YSoSrs says:

    @ZOE

    Congrats! I’m happy for you. :hugs:

    I answered your Top Model question in the last post but I repeat it here:

    Top Model was BOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIING. And that photo shoot was stupid as hell. I didn’t even pay enough attention to decide who I like and don’t like this season. :yawn:

  71. 71
    FeFe says:

    @screw

    And ummm sir, I believe I DID speak to you yessaday…but if I didn’t please accept my HUMBLE apology!

  72. 72
    prynsexxx says:

    @LoveZoe

    *from the MJ post*

    lovezoe says:

    Anyone watch Top Model last night?
    ________________

    A NEW TOP MODEL CAME ON???!!!!!

    *faints in a pair of 12 inch stillettos on the runway*

  73. 73
    prynsexxx says:

    @Iheart

    I HATECHU.

  74. 74
    FeFe says:

    Oh and please note Sandra, men are immune to bullshyt too, so if you take two weeks to pick up ur phone or return a call they will see the childish GAME that you are playing! :coffee:

    :waves: @Tatted, vero, Hershey, Iheart, candi, YSo, Lakes, and anyone else I misseded :)

  75. 75
    vero says:

    :rofl: @Screw

    :dead: @Iheart

  76. 76
    candibfly says:

    top model was a snoozefest. it gets dumber every season (but i still watch, its like a train wreck, can’t look away) estelle’s baby sister was getting on my nerves. when these hoes gone fight? :waiting:

  77. 77
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Zoe Zoe – Dont be scared, mama. You got this. God is watching over you, your family and the bambino! :hug: I’LL BABYSIT WHENEVER YOU NEED ME!

  78. 78
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    Fefe :hi:

  79. 79
    candibfly says:

    go ahead and wait two weeks and when he answers back ‘who dis’ don’t crying yo :rofl:

  80. 80

    I agree with everything you just said, I have a addictive personality :ashamed: but I can admit it :yes: So I am waiting on the right one :yes: Great words because this is so true ! Common Sense

  81. 81
    Sandra Rose says:

    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    I don’t agree with the “wait 2 weeks” though. I would like to think most women aren’t totally enthralled with a guy after a drink and a date, no?
    _________________

    You left out the part about the passionate sex. Remember, sex is a trigger for Dopamine to start flowing. That’s when most of us are at our weakest and most vulnerable. After sex we start thinking we’re falling in love. It is necessary to wait those 2 weeks so we can think more clearly and not make dumb decisions. :yes:

  82. 82
    NaijaGal says:

    FeFe :yahoo: hey gorgeous

    @lovezoe I watched it after Modern Family and the pics were horrid…booooooooo to it all

  83. 83
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Sandra

    Since you love to talk about self-hating Black women, can you do a post on what that Linebacker Wendy Williams said about Viola Davis’ hair at the Oscars…..after the White woman Wendy was interviewing said that she felt Viola Davis had the BEST hair at the Oscars?

    I ain’t never wanted to shakeweight a bish so bad as that moment when Wendy showed just how self-loathing she was.

  84. 84
    vero says:

    :waves: Fefe

    I was told i’m a slick talker too :shrugs:

  85. 85
    screwball69 says:

    Detective Iheart says:

    Ma ma ma MAWNING :yahoo: :danban:
    SKA-RHEW :hug: I did speak to you yestaday boo
    _______________________________________________________
    :love: Good Morning.

  86. 86
    FeFe says:

    @candi

    IKR! That two week lag period is STOOOOPIDDD! That’s the only part I can’t agree with…It’s ok to not pick up every time he calls, but a call back or answer is reasonable within 24-48 hours…

  87. 87
    lilmisscandid says:

    This is BY FAR my favorite post!! Im a sucker for the Dopamine rush!! I never knew what it was, til now.

  88. 88
    AWESOME says:

    Candi I been poppin in and out. Apparently the arrangement I have with my employer is some type of funds for production exchange. :shrug:

  89. 89
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Awesome :hug: UUUUGH, THAT WOULD SOOO GET ON MY NERVE! :lol:

    @ Fe :hug:

    @Iheart :hug:

    @ Hershey :hug:

    SORRY SANDRA, THIS WAS AN EXCEPTION. I HAD TO COVER ALL OF THEM W/GOD’S GRACE AND HUGS!

  90. 90
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Sandra
    Not true. I had sex with Mister for the first time on our 2nd night out, which was 4 days after I met him and then had MORE sex with him damn near every day after.

    I had to LIE when a month later, he told me he loved me and I pretended like I didn’t hear him. Then he repeated it….and I felt bad so I said it back.

    I eventually DID grow to love him though after about 3 more months.

  91. 91
    FeFe says:

    :waves: @Naija and Sassy!

    @Sassy

    What did Wendell say???

  92. 92
    capricorn83 says:

    Would this post also apply to “friends of the blog???” #innocentquestion

  93. 93
    bumblebee says:

    I think my personality is too addictive for this post. So according to Sandra lesbuns are ray Charles to the bs? Perhaps I should consider a change :think:

  94. 94
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Fe – Who dat be in yo gravi??? :thinking:

  95. 95
    The Makeup Maven says:

    :cool: <— RAY CHARLES TO THE BULLSHYT!

    (PAYING HOMAGE TO JMO)

  96. 96
    lovezoe says:

    @Tatted- I will let you watch my son, he is 5 loves the ladies, especially those with boobies :rofl:

    I haven’t watched Top Model in ages, but I know the Brits have a strange sense of humor which I like. Tyra need to do something else.

  97. 97
    Sandra Rose says:

    @ Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy!: Wendy Williams was defensive because she thought she was personally being attacked for relying so heavily on weave and lacefronts. It was probably a shock to Wendy (and to other weave-wearing black women) to hear a white woman praise a black woman’s natural hair. Wendy (and other weave-wearing black women) subconsciously want white women to praise them for their long hair — even though it’s not her own hair. So it comes as a shock to Wendy to find out that the people she was trying so hard to impress (with her weave) are not impressed at all. :lol:

  98. 98
    screwball69 says:

    YSO & FeFe

    You two are my favorite loves. :yes:

    YSO, I’m like you too in that I don’t deal well with BS either. Most of the time you already know what the deal is from the beginning. People allow themselves to get put in that position. Sucks for them. :coffee:

  99. 99
    FeFe says:

    @Sandra

    My husband and I had sex after a month of dating, and we spent dayum near EVERY day together before that…then we had sex non-stop all the time and talked/hung out every single day. He had his own spot and I had mine, but we LOVED being around each other…we dated seriously ever since (I found out he was dating another chick briefly too), but we moved in together after a year and a half of dating and got married like 3 years later…

  100. 100
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Fefe
    :hug: The White lady she was interviewing was talking about the best and worst dressed at the Oscars and she rated Viola Davis very high. Then when they came to the Best & Worst Oscar hair, the white lady said something like: “Wendy- I know you are not going to like my choice, but I turly felt that Viola Davis had the best hair there. It was so au naturale and she looked simply gorgeous.”

    Do you know this he-man bish rolled her eyes, flipped her 27-piece Italian remy wig, and said that when it comes to “formal events like the Oscars, WE (Black women) need to leave that 227 at home.”

    I almost kicked my tv’s azz for showing me that sh*t. :cuss:

  101. 101
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ ZoeZoe – Will rock him straight to sleep on ‘em! A many of babies and toddlers don’ “WENT” ta sleep on these chachas! :yes:

  102. 102
    Shuga Honey says:

    Lesbians are NOT immune to the bullshavitz. On the contray, when you have two people who are by nature more emotionally charged (women) you can have a situation thats even more hostile than a hetero relationship.

    If I remember correctly, out of all types of relationships, lesbians have the highest rates of domestic violence.

  103. 103
    !*LaKErCHiC@*! says:

    :lol:

  104. 104
    TPtotalpackage says:

    Awwwww chit…. this actually makes sense.

  105. 105

    Sandra Rose says:

    @ Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy!: Wendy Williams was defensive because she thought she was personally being attacked for relying so heavily on weave and lacefronts. It was probably a shock to Wendy (and to other weave-wearing black women) to hear a white woman praise a black woman’s natural hair. Wendy (and other weave-wearing black women) subconsciously want white women to praise them for their long hair — even though it’s not her own hair. So it comes as a shock to Wendy to find out that the people she was trying so hard to impress (with her weave) are not impressed at all. :lol:
    ___________________

    :cosign:

  106. 106
    Tainted_Love says:

    Morning Family and Auntie :waves:

  107. 107
    FeFe says:

    @Tatted

    That’s a pic of Ashton Kutcher :yes:

  108. 108
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SASS-A-FRASS! ARE YOU FCKING KIDDIN’ ME??? Wendell Williams said that shyt?? I thought Viola was simply divine…FROM HEAD TO TOE!

  109. 109

    :rofl: at the justifications in this post :lol:

  110. 110
    sexyphillygirl says:

    So true…

    Morning Tatted, I spoke in the other post I didnt know it was a new post up *hugs*

  111. 111
    lovezoe says:

    @Tatted- My mom jokes he gone make her a lot of grandbabies. He loves the ladies. He see one and start smiling, want to speak. Such a charmer.

  112. 112

    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SASS-A-FRASS! ARE YOU FCKING KIDDIN’ ME??? Wendell Williams said that shyt?? I thought Viola was simply divine…FROM HEAD TO TOE!
    ______________
    :yes: she was

  113. 113
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SHUGA – I have to agree w/you! Having 2 women in a relationship can be very emotional…very high strung! :yes:

  114. 114

    LOVE IS NOT SEX.
    ————-

    Is love masturbation? Am I Dopamining myself? I stay on that bell pepper like a chef… why is masturbation filled Dopamine always omitted from your post? Is Dr. Ruth or Dr. Sue still with us or have they gone on?

  115. 115
    sexyphillygirl says:

    Sometimes Wendy is a hater and I think she forgets what she looks like with and without makeup smh.

  116. 116
    FeFe says:

    Do you know this he-man bish rolled her eyes, flipped her 27-piece Italian remy wig, and said that when it comes to “formal events like the Oscars, WE (Black women) need to leave that 227 at home.”

    __________

    ARE YOU FCKING SERIOUS!???????? mmmkay, I think imma not even attempt to watch her show anymore..I barely watch it as it is, but she is a fcking JOKE! :smack:

  117. 117
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Tatted
    Yes- that strong-bodied heffa did! Can you believe that sh*t?! And what got me even more when thinking about it is that Wendy has OBVIOUSLY made disparaging comments about Black women with natural hair in front of that White lady and others before in order for that White woman to immediately PREFACE her statement with…. “Wendy, I know you won’t like my choice, but…”

    WTF?! Really, Wendy?! You self-hating mongloid bish, you!!!

  118. 118
    OHoney says:

    candibfly says:
    <— items in my victoria secret cart that i ain't wanna pay $14 shipping charges for
    ___________________________________________________________
    *adds my items to your cart so they can equal $100 and we can get free shipping!*
    #TeamWork
    This is a nice read :yes:

  119. 119
    AWESOME says:

    Sandra, in each of the 3 longest relationships I’ve had we got it in within days. One within hours. I loved all three.

  120. 120
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Fe – Ooooh, okay. He looks demented a lil’ in that pic! :lol:

    @ SexyPhilly – I saw it. *chestbumbs back to you* OOOW, THAT HURT!

  121. 121
    Tainted_Love says:

    FeFe says:

    Do you know this he-man bish rolled her eyes, flipped her 27-piece Italian remy wig, and said that when it comes to “formal events like the Oscars, WE (Black women) need to leave that 227 at home.”
    __________
    ARE YOU FCKING SERIOUS!???????? mmmkay, I think imma not even attempt to watch her show anymore..I barely watch it as it is, but she is a fcking JOKE!
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Yes and said all of that while sitting next to a white woman who was complimenting Viola. I was thru with her then

  122. 122
  123. 123
    Shuga Honey says:

    oan—Good MornTing everybody. :)

  124. 124
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ ZoeZoe – Uh-oh. You’s gon be a grannie! :lol:

  125. 125
    YSoSrs says:

    @SASSY

    Shim did NOT say that about my new favorite actress Viola! AND insulting my girls from 227!! :shotsfired:

    That Wookie just mad cause it knows what it would look like if it tried to pull off a natural look. :coffee:

  126. 126
    FeFe says:

    @Tatted

    That’s why I like it :lol: he doesn’t look like himself!

    :hugs: @Tainted

    Wendell is a sad sad human being (not sure if woman is the correct operative word)

  127. 127
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ SASS-A-FRASS (I hope you don’t mind my new nickname for you) – I cannot STAND Wendy sometimes. The thing about it is that even if you feel that way, you don’t make comments like that in front of “others!” The way she acting, you would’ve thought Viola walked up in that bish w/a fist pick in her fro or something. I hate self-hating, carved up face, implant having azz bishes! :coffee:

  128. 128

    Sandra Rose says:

    Thanks @ Posche and The Makeup Maven! At Tatted: this is more for the heterosexuals than for us. We lesbuns are immune to the BS!
    ———–
    I am going to have to respectfully disagree I know of a few whom I will not name some I’ve been with rubbing my Dopamine ALL on their Dopamine who are NOT immune to the BS. Sandra you may be because you are older and with age comes wisdom but venture thru a few post and it is some lust bitten lesbains all up thru your SR community. I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.

  129. 129
    The Makeup Maven says:

    Only person I remember having a teeny-tiny fro on 227 is Rose! SHE BET NOT BE TOM’BOUT ROSE…

    RIP ALAINA

  130. 130
    FeFe says:

    That Wookie just mad cause it knows what it would look like if it tried to pull off a natural look. :coffee:
    _________
    A fcking TRAIN WRECK of disastrous proportions!

  131. 131
    lovezoe says:

    I don’t even know why people pay Wendell any mind. I am still through with her and them crocodile tears she had after she dogged out Whitney.

    @Tatted- Don’t you jinx me too! :rofl:

  132. 132
    cheeks8683 says:

    Wendy Williams is a man and she does not have the option to wear her hair natural because she needs all that hair to block per strong-featured man-face *stomps off*

  133. 133
    Tainted_Love says:

    @Fefe :hug: She truly is with her blonde wigs and big boobs in no a**. Clearly she wants to be white

  134. 134
    NaijaGal says:

    Wendy is too far gone and the sad thing is she’ll perpetuate this ignorance to her son :no:

  135. 135
    Smokie says:

    Very good post Sandra. The only thing I’d disagree with is waiting 2 weeks to call him/answer the phone. Any remotely discerning woman would realize that he was cutting eyes at her friend, etc. and wouldn’t even give him her number in the first place. But if she was so blind (as some women can be), I’d think that waiting a couple of days to answer his call/call him would be fine. You shouldn’t have sex soon with a new man anyway. Without sex, the oxytocin hormone isn’t released and a woman remains in control.

  136. 136
    Trendsetter says:

    Morning All!

  137. 137
    prynsexxx says:

    Tatted says

    I hate self-hating, carved up face, implant having CRACKHEAD azz bishes.

    *I missed the tutorial on the bold and strikethrough class but I can still capitalize*

  138. 138
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @All

    She just pissed me off, royally! For about 10 secs, I wished that White woman was mixed and had a Black mama who wore her hair natural so she coulda lit Wendy’s azz up!! Lawd, I was so pissed with that mannish azz heffa!

  139. 139
    The Makeup Maven says:

    @ Pryn – I missed it too! :lol:

  140. 140
  141. 141
    Sassy! Muthaf**king, Sassy! says:

    @Smokie

    :nono: You can have sex and remain in control. I turned Mister OUT the 4th day after I met him and the 2nd time I went out with him…. all I needed was 5 mins, maybe even fo’. Had him wanting to marry a bish. <—said in "Smokey's" voice from Friday. :coffee:

  142. 142
    lexdiamonz says:

    :party:

    HEY TATTED!!! AND THE REST OF YOU ROSEBUDS!!!!!

    sandy stop i see lesbians STRAIGHT TRIPPING ON EACH OTHER … and fighting over ho’s …. so the dope… is all the SAME!!! LOL

    okay let me take off my debutante hat and keep it ALL THE WAY REAL!!!!!!

    ummm I sucked my husband dyck and licked his balls the FIRST NIGHT (don’t judge me.. I thought I was a player back then..) … and when he wanted to have sex I told him I wasn’t ready and BOUNCED….. the look on his FACE when I left was PRICELESS… alas that was 19 YEARS AGO … can’t get rid of his azz now…. flip the tables ladies it is the THRILL of the chase that keeps them cumming back and STAYING…..

  143. 143
    lexdiamonz says:

    Oil Sheen Jones (The artist formally kwn as Dawn Sheen) says:

    Sandra Rose says:

    Thanks @ Posche and The Makeup Maven! At Tatted: this is more for the heterosexuals than for us. We lesbuns are immune to the BS!
    ———–
    I am going to have to respectfully disagree I know of a few whom I will not name some I’ve been with rubbing my Dopamine ALL on their Dopamine who are NOT immune to the BS. Sandra you may be because you are older and with age comes wisdom but venture thru a few post and it is some lust bitten lesbains all up thru your SR community. I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.

    :dead: @ litter box!!!!!

    :rofl:

  144. 144
    OHoney says:

    lexdiamonz says:
    ummm I sucked my husband dyck and licked his balls the FIRST NIGHT (don’t judge me.. I thought I was a player back then..)
    ___________________________________________________________
    I didn’t make it past this :ghost:

  145. 145
    I Go There says:

    What up folks
    :coffee:

    Ill say this about this post
    Ive met women and have had some of my longest relationships with the ones that I had sex with off top. I do understand about taking a relationship and moving too fast but if two people are on the right page… then its all good IMO

  146. 146
    lexdiamonz says:

    :dead:

    @ I GO THERE GRAVI!!!!!!

  147. 147
    sexyphillygirl says:

    Im on the fence about Wendy I do dvr her shows but she can be over the top but thats why she has a show I guess.

  148. 148
    binks says:

    Interesting post, but could this all be avoided if people was upfront with each other from the jump :think:

    Wendy needs to have several sits, she probably doesn’t even remember what her natural self looked like..

  149. 149
    Ty says:

    lexdiamonz says:

    Sandra you may be because you are older and with age comes wisdom but venture thru a few post and it is some lust bitten lesbains all up thru your SR community. I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.
    _______________
    :dead: :rofl:

  150. 150
    hotmess says:

    Happy birthday to myself today I feel so blessed …March 1st

  151. 151
    Traigo Fuego says:

    Too many damn games…

    :coffee:

  152. 152
    SweetP1984 says:

    Thanks Sandra for blessing your readers with the fruit of knowledge! This was a very informative read.

  153. 153
  154. 154
    Lady_L says:

    Sandra I atually enjoyed your article…you made some very good points. I have seen this happen to myself and some of my girlfriends. Thank you for this….

  155. 155
    SweetP1984 says:

    “He’s Just Not That Into You” is another good read. I think every woman should read that book.

  156. 156
    Lady_L says:

    hotmess says:

    Happy birthday to myself today I feel so blessed …March 1st

    ————————
    Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

    :happybirthday:

  157. 157
    Lady_L says:

    Ty says:

    lexdiamonz says:

    Sandra you may be because you are older and with age comes wisdom but venture thru a few post and it is some lust bitten lesbains all up thru your SR community. I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.

    ————————-
    Oh my……..

  158. 158
    OutsidetheBox says:

    Sandra you may be because you are older and with age comes wisdom but venture thru a few post and it is some lust bitten lesbains all up thru your SR community. I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.

    :rofl: :rofl:

  159. 159
    Sandra Rose says:

    OutsidetheBox says:

    I know one in particular who runs from pussy to pussy like a litter box.
    _________________

    LOL! If you don’t want to put her business all out in the open you can email me the name at sandra @ sandrarose.com (delete the spaces) :lol:

  160. 160
  161. 161
    Sandra Rose says:

    Lady_L says:

    I have seen this happen to myself and some of my girlfriends. Thank you for this….
    —————-
    Thanks, hun. It used to happen to me too when I was younger. I couldn’t understand why I would get so emotionally attached to women who were jerks. Then one day I decided to research it. Now I know why I was acting so silly and thinking I was in love when I really wasn’t. Knowledge is key! :grill:

  162. 162
    Sandra Rose says:

    @ SweetP1984: you’re welcome, hun. :)

  163. 163
    Sandra Rose says:

    binks says:

    Interesting post, but could this all be avoided if people was upfront with each other from the jump :thinking:
    ________________

    Probably not. There aren’t too many men who will admit up front that they just want to get in your panties. They love the chase.

  164. 164
    Sandra Rose says:

    lexdiamonz says:

    ummm I sucked my husband dyck and licked his balls the FIRST NIGHT (don’t judge me.. I thought I was a player back then..) … and when he wanted to have sex I told him I wasn’t ready and BOUNCED….. the look on his FACE when I left was PRICELESS… alas that was 19 YEARS AGO … can’t get rid of his azz now…. flip the tables ladies it is the THRILL of the chase that keeps them cumming back and STAYING…..
    ________________

    :rofl: This had me cracking up! You were right to leave though. I think you are one of the few women who are immune to the Dopamine :yes:

  165. 165
    Daisy says:

    Wendy cried real tears like she does every time she talks abt her own addiction. She is entitled to her opinion abt natural hair just like everybody else. She defended her position the next day on the show too cause she said ppl let her have it online but I respected her for standing by her position. I am over the natural v relaxed hair debate. I have seen jacked up hair from women on either side.

  166. 166
    Willikc says:

    So is the moral of the story don’t date men(women) you meet in the club? Hey, I’m new to this, how do I get my picture up???

  167. 167
    Sandra Rose says:

    Smokie says:

    The only thing I’d disagree with is waiting 2 weeks to call him/answer the phone. Any remotely discerning woman would realize that he was cutting eyes at her friend, etc. and wouldn’t even give him her number in the first place. But if she was so blind (as some women can be), I’d think that waiting a couple of days to answer his call/call him would be fine. You shouldn’t have sex soon with a new man anyway. Without sex, the oxytocin hormone isn’t released and a woman remains in control.
    _______________

    Yes, Oxytocin, serotonin and other ‘love’ brain chemicals combine with dopamine to control a woman’s emotions and break her down so she is willing to be easy. That’s because God knew women would be stubborn when it comes to men. :yes:

  168. 168
    Sandra Rose says:

    AWESOME says:

    Sandra, in each of the 3 longest relationships I’ve had we got it in within days. One within hours. I loved all three.
    _________________

    Didn’t I say love has nothing to do with sex? If you loved all 3 you would still be together. True love lasts a lifetime. Ask anyone who has been married for over 50 years. :yes:

  169. 169
    Sandra Rose says:

    Dawn Sheen says:

    Is love masturbation? Am I Dopamining myself?
    __________________

    Yes, you are dopamining yourself. :lol: Remember, dopamine targets the pleasure center of your brain. So if masturbation gives you pleasure, then dopamine is involved. But Love is not synonymous with dopamine and sex. Please repeat after me:

    Love has nothing to do with sex. Love has nothing to do with sex. Love has nothing to do with sex….

  170. 170
    OutsidetheBox says:

    Sandra I aint studying you! I am not “loyal reader emailing you”. I copied that text from upthread.

    DAWN SAID IT. Dawn says EVERTHING. You know that. :lol:

  171. 171

    OutsidetheBox says:

    Sandra I aint studying you! I am not “loyal reader emailing you”. I copied that text from upthread.

    DAWN SAID IT. Dawn says EVERTHING. You know that.
    ———
    You better be like everybody else and quote me… when you cut and paste and omitt my name u get blamed :)

  172. 172

    Sandra Rose says:

    Dawn Sheen says:

    Is love masturbation? Am I Dopamining myself?
    __________________

    Yes, you are dopamining yourself. Remember, dopamine targets the pleasure center of your brain. So if masturbation gives you pleasure, then dopamine is involved. But Love is not synonymous with dopamine and sex. Please repeat after me:

    Love has nothing to do with sex. Love has nothing to do with sex. Love has nothing to do with sex….

    ————-
    As I rearrange my camel toe… I am repeating… shld I stop rubbing? I hve known myself way longer than two weeks…

  173. 173
    MSVALLDAY says:

    Sandra where were you when I was in my 20’s, this advice would have saved me a lot of time.

  174. 174
    hotmess says:

    Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes… off work… going dinner with family . see you tomorrow

  175. 175
    hotmess says:

    lexdiamonz says:

    ummm I sucked my husband dyck and licked his balls the FIRST NIGHT (don’t judge me.. I thought I was a player back then..) … and when he wanted to have sex I told him I wasn’t ready and BOUNCED….. the look on his FACE when I left was PRICELESS… alas that was 19 YEARS AGO … can’t get rid of his azz now…. flip the tables ladies it is the THRILL of the chase that keeps them cumming back and STAYING…..
    ________________
    This had me cracking up! You were right to leave though. I think you are one of the few women who are immune to the Dopamine

    —————-
    got dang it

  176. 176
    Lady_L says:

    Oil Sheen Jones (The artist formally kwn as Dawn Sheen) says:

    ————-
    As I rearrange my camel toe… I am repeating… shld I stop rubbing? I hve known myself way longer than two weeks…

    —————

    I damn near fell out my chair when I read this!!!

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